January 21, 2026 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Wednesday, January 21st, 2026. Subject: "I Want Him To Talk To Me"
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We could be reading.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buggle up and hold on time.
We got it for you here. It is strawberry lot.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Of thank you nephew. Subject I want him to talk
to me. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been with my boyfriend
for twelve years and we live together and we've been
living like a married couple. We have two children, ages
ten and nine. We argue a lot, and mostly over
our parenting styles. He was raised by a single mother
(00:47):
and I was raised by my grandmother who was very strict.
He does not discipline the kids, so when I do it,
the kids end up hating me, and he gets pleasure
from that. He makes the majority of the money, and
I have to ask him for money by the end
of the month, and he also gets pleasure from that,
and that's his little way of controlling me. For the
(01:07):
past months, he hasn't talked to me. I cooked dinner
and he eats in silence unless he's talking to the kids.
We have movie night and he asks the kids what
they want to watch, but he never asked me. He
will answer me if I address him, but he does
not ever initiate conversation with me. I don't remember why
he got mad at me in the first place, because
(01:29):
he's a master at holding grudges for a long time.
He can turn the passion on for sex, and then
he rolls over and goes back to ignoring me. His
brother called me his wife the other day, and my
man quickly told him that we're not married. My daughter
heard it, and later that day she told me that
she hates it when her dad says ugly things about me.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I had no idea he talked about me to the kids.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
She said I should leave him and she and her
brother will stay and take care of him. I bet
he puts that idea in her head. He's turning the
kids against me. I wish he would talk to me
so we can figure this out. How can I get
him to communicate? Well, it's kind of late for all
of that right now. You don't have two children. You
(02:16):
mentioned you had two. You have three children. That man
is the third child, and you've been there the recipient
of his bad behavior for twelve long years.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Now twelve long years.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
It's time for you to take a stand, some kind
of way for yourself, you know, reevaluate this whole situation,
because it's not getting any better, it's getting worse. You've
allowed him to treat you this way because he makes
the money and then he rations it out to you. Yeah,
that's his way of control. He pits the kids against
(02:48):
you too, but even they see the horrible way he
treats you and wants you to leave. So it's time
for you to realize that you need to stop worrying
about him and now worry about yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
What are you going to do about you and your future?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
You take care of everyone, But you said, this man
will eat what you cook, have sex, and then roll
over and not even talk to you. That's mean he's
not concerned about you. He doesn't even like you. At
this point, you need to start putting yourself first. That
means you got to stop cooking, no sex, no nothing,
until he sits down like an adult and talks to you.
(03:22):
Then let him know how you really feel, and stop
letting him use you, stop letting the kids see him
do this to you as well. And you need to
get a plan together because it looks like this is
over and you're somebody's gonna have to leave.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Steve great response. You let me tell you something. This
is a completely unhealthy relationship. There's nothing in here of
redeeming quality for you, the woman, after all you've done,
and do see you hear the saying you can't change
(03:59):
horses in the middle of Let me tell you something, ladies.
You have to in act your rights. You have to
in act your you have to play your trump card.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
You have amazing power.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
But once you relinquish that power and don't use it,
and we see that you're not using your power, then
we run rough shod all over you. And this is
what he's doing to this woman. He's running rough shod
all over this woman, and it's giving her no no
good in return, and it's crazy. So you been with
(04:40):
your boyfriend for twelve years. Why see that you got
two kids? Ten and nine? Two kids?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
You ain't see marriage in here nowhere.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Before we got to ten and nine, you didn't you
didn't call in your your request to be the wife.
We argue a lot, and it's over your parent and
skills because he was raised by a single mother and
you was raised by your grandmother who was very strict.
And then when you do discipline the kids, they hate it,
(05:14):
and he relishes in that. And then you say, he
makes the majority of the money, and you got to
ask him for money at the end of the month,
and he also gets pleasure from that.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
That's his little way of controlling me.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
No, no, no, that's not the little way.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
That's the way he controls you. That's his little way. No,
he's turning the kids.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
See, first of all, when you get a parent that
relishes in the fact that the kids hate the other
person's discipline and he try to play the good guy role,
that in divorce is in the divorce and alimonic cases
and child support cases, there's a term for that. It's
called the Disney dad. They call it the Disney dad
(06:04):
because when let's say a man goes over there and
he picks up the kid, he gives them everything they want,
prize and shoes, everything. So when you come see him
as all about everything. But then when you take him
back home. Then the mother has to do the work.
To do your homework, do your chores. Do like I say,
finish this issue our punishments. But when you go over
(06:25):
Dad's house, it's all roller coasters and happy time.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
It's called the Disney Dad.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
That usually happens in divorce and child custody cases with alimony.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
This is happening in your marriage. That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two who of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour
Today's strawberry letter subject I want him to talk to
me right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Hey, it's Carla Farrell. Kick that old mop and bucket aside.
Are you ready for a mop and bucket clean in
half the time? Make the swap to Swiffer Power Mop,
the only one. Cleaning Hero has a built in solution
that breaks down dirt and grime like magic.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
With hundreds of scrubbing strips on.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
The pad, it absorbs sticky messes with ease. Plus it'll
leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Get yours today and.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Mop smarter with the Swiffer Power Mom.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is I want him to talk to me.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah, well, him talking to you.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I think y'all might be a little bit past that
because I'm not understanding what you're talking about. You've been
with this man twelve years. Hit your boyfriend. Y'all not married,
You got two kids ten and twelve. You argue a
lot because of your parenting styles. You were raised by
your grandmother. He was born raised by a single parent.
(08:00):
He don't have no discipline.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
You do.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
When you discipline the kids, they hate it, and then
they go to him, and he relishes in that moment
that you hate that. He relishes in the moment that
the kids hate you for doing that. He's being a
Disney dad in the house. Like I explained earlier. That's
usually an alimony and child support cases. When the man
goes over to get cussity for the kid for the
(08:23):
weekend only two days, and they take them back and
they get cotton can they get eat all the cookies
and ice cream and sneakers and trip to the mall
and movies. Then when you go home, it's all work.
He ain't putting no work in the raising the kids.
But now he won't give him. There with that's a
Disney dad. But this Disney dad is in your house.
(08:43):
That's trouble. And then at the end of he makes
the majority of the money. At the end of the month,
you need to ask him for money. He relishes in
that too, And you say he gets pleasure by that
and that's his little way of controlling it. Well, ma'am,
he's controlling you in more ways than that, because this dude,
you are in an unhealthy relationship. Then let's let's finish
(09:04):
out the rest up. I cook dinner, he eat in silence.
What you live in a house with a person that
don't talk to you? How long this has been going on?
And says And then unless he's talking to the kids,
we got movie night.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
He asks the kids what they want to watch, but
he don't ask me what I want to watch.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Wait a minute, man, so he can just do you
any way he wants to and there's no consequences. You mean,
you have to cook, He get to eat and don't
talk to you while he eating. He'll answer me if
I address him, but he doesn't ever initiate conversation with me.
I don't remember why he got mad at me in
(09:50):
the first place, because he's a master at holding.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Grudges for a long time. Man. You just.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Can I tell you someth These ain't real man traits.
Most men won't peace in their house. Most men try
to be accommodating to their girl. He ain't trying to
do nothing with you, but he can turn on the
passion for sex and then he rolls over and go
right back to knowing me. Why are you still having
sex with him? What is that about? Well, you can't
(10:23):
do that to her, flaud those of us men just listening,
Try that in real life and see how.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
That work for you. Man, Shut up, I'm sleeping.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
His brother called me his wife the other day, and
my man quickly told him we ain't married, so he
ain't got no plans of marrying you.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
He don't like the concept of y'all saying y'all.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Married, But he's getting the aughts. Lady, what's happening here
is you've allowed this man to get all the benefits
of the marriage and you get nuh.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
He cooks for you, you have children for him.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
He has sex with you, and don't talk to you
after that, and don't talk to you during dinner anyway
one of your kids. One of your kids says that
she hates when her dad says ugly things about.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Who does that?
Speaker 4 (11:34):
She said, I should leave him and she and her
brother will stay and take care of him. I bet
he put that idea in her head over How did
you miss what she said?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Though? What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
He put that idea in her head and the idea
with me and him will stay with him and take
care of him. You didn't hear her say you should
leave him because she don't like when her daddy say
ugly things about her mama.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
You didn't hear that part all. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Now?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
You conditioned to accept bad behavior and now you're sitting
up in there talking about I bet they put that
in here that will stay, stay with him and take
care of him. Lady, If you don't get out of
there and take them kids, I have nothing else for you.
In this letter, he's turning the kids against me. I
(12:28):
wish he would talk to me so we can figure
this out. How do I get him to communicate? You're
not He doesn't even talk to you after sex. He
don't talk to you when y'all eating. He don't talk
to y'all when y'all movie night. He don't have a
conversation with you unless you need initiate it. I wish
he would talk to me so he can figure this out.
(12:48):
Let me help you figure this part out. He don't
want to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
You want to talk so y'all can figure it out.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
He'll then want to talk to you period at all.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Ma'am, you've been.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Beat so long by this man, you've accepted it as normalacy.
You can't accept bad behavior and think this is normal.
Do you know what is what you're really supposed to do.
You're really supposed to wake up and be happy. You're
really supposed to wake up with a plan. You're really
(13:24):
supposed to wake up in a relationship with somebody and
y'all playing a future together. That's what y'all supposed to do.
You're really supposed to wake up, go to bed and love.
You're supposed to wake up and feel warm, safe and secure.
You have none of that. Leave him and leave poor alimony.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Bounce on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook at
Steve BARBFM, and check us out on The Strawberry Letter
podcast on the Free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Coming up next to this junior and sports talk.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We could be reading.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buggle up and hold on time.
We got it for you here. It is strawberry lot.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Of thank you nephew. Subject I want him to talk
to me. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been with my boyfriend
for twelve years and we live together and we've been
living like a married couple. We have two children, ages
ten and nine. We argue a lot, and mostly over
our parenting styles. He was raised by a single mother
(00:47):
and I was raised by my grandmother who was very strict.
He does not discipline the kids, so when I do it,
the kids end up hating me, and he gets pleasure
from that. He makes the majority of the money, and
I have to ask him for money by the end
of the month, and he also gets pleasure from that,
and that's his little way of controlling me. For the
(01:07):
past months, he hasn't talked to me. I cooked dinner
and he eats in silence unless he's talking to the kids.
We have movie night and he asks the kids what
they want to watch, but he never asked me. He
will answer me if I address him, but he does
not ever initiate conversation with me. I don't remember why
he got mad at me in the first place, because
(01:29):
he's a master at holding grudges for a long time.
He can turn the passion on for sex, and then
he rolls over and goes back to ignoring me. His
brother called me his wife the other day, and my
man quickly told him that we're not married. My daughter
heard it, and later that day she told me that
she hates it when her dad says ugly things about me.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I had no idea he talked about me to the kids.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
She said I should leave him and she and her
brother will stay and take care of him. I bet
he puts that idea in her head. He's turning the
kids against me. I wish he would talk to me
so we can figure this out. How can I get
him to communicate? Well, it's kind of late for all
of that right now. You don't have two children. You
(02:16):
mentioned you had two. You have three children. That man
is the third child, and you've been there the recipient
of his bad behavior for twelve long years.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Now twelve long years.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
It's time for you to take a stand, some kind
of way for yourself, you know, reevaluate this whole situation,
because it's not getting any better, it's getting worse. You've
allowed him to treat you this way because he makes
the money and then he rations it out to you. Yeah,
that's his way of control. He pits the kids against
(02:48):
you too, but even they see the horrible way he
treats you and wants you to leave. So it's time
for you to realize that you need to stop worrying
about him and now worry about yourself.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
What are you going to do about you and your future?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
You take care of everyone, But you said, this man
will eat what you cook, have sex, and then roll
over and not even talk to you. That's mean he's
not concerned about you. He doesn't even like you. At
this point, you need to start putting yourself first. That
means you got to stop cooking, no sex, no nothing,
until he sits down like an adult and talks to you.
(03:22):
Then let him know how you really feel, and stop
letting him use you, stop letting the kids see him
do this to you as well. And you need to
get a plan together because it looks like this is
over and you're somebody's gonna have to leave.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
Steve great response. You let me tell you something. This
is a completely unhealthy relationship. There's nothing in here of
redeeming quality for you, the woman, after all you've done,
and do see you hear the saying you can't change
(03:59):
horses in the middle of Let me tell you something, ladies.
You have to in act your rights. You have to
in act your you have to play your trump card.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
You have amazing power.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
But once you relinquish that power and don't use it,
and we see that you're not using your power, then
we run rough shod all over you. And this is
what he's doing to this woman. He's running rough shod
all over this woman, and it's giving her no no
good in return, and it's crazy. So you been with
(04:40):
your boyfriend for twelve years. Why see that you got
two kids? Ten and nine? Two kids?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
You ain't see marriage in here nowhere.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Before we got to ten and nine, you didn't you
didn't call in your your request to be the wife.
We argue a lot, and it's over your parent and
skills because he was raised by a single mother and
you was raised by your grandmother who was very strict.
And then when you do discipline the kids, they hate it,
(05:14):
and he relishes in that. And then you say, he
makes the majority of the money, and you got to
ask him for money at the end of the month,
and he also gets pleasure from that.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
That's his little way of controlling me.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
No, no, no, that's not the little way.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
That's the way he controls you. That's his little way. No,
he's turning the kids.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
See, first of all, when you get a parent that
relishes in the fact that the kids hate the other
person's discipline and he try to play the good guy role,
that in divorce is in the divorce and alimonic cases
and child support cases, there's a term for that. It's
called the Disney dad. They call it the Disney dad
(06:04):
because when let's say a man goes over there and
he picks up the kid, he gives them everything they want,
prize and shoes, everything. So when you come see him
as all about everything. But then when you take him
back home. Then the mother has to do the work.
To do your homework, do your chores. Do like I say,
finish this issue our punishments. But when you go over
(06:25):
Dad's house, it's all roller coasters and happy time.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
It's called the Disney Dad.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
That usually happens in divorce and child custody cases with alimony.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
This is happening in your marriage. That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two who of your
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour
Today's strawberry letter subject I want him to talk to
me right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
Hey, it's Carla Farrell. Kick that old mop and bucket aside.
Are you ready for a mop and bucket clean in
half the time? Make the swap to Swiffer Power Mop,
the only one. Cleaning Hero has a built in solution
that breaks down dirt and grime like magic.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
With hundreds of scrubbing strips on.
Speaker 5 (07:17):
The pad, it absorbs sticky messes with ease. Plus it'll
leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Get yours today and.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Mop smarter with the Swiffer Power Mom.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is I want him to talk to me.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah, well, him talking to you.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I think y'all might be a little bit past that
because I'm not understanding what you're talking about. You've been
with this man twelve years. Hit your boyfriend. Y'all not married,
You got two kids ten and twelve. You argue a
lot because of your parenting styles. You were raised by
your grandmother. He was born raised by a single parent.
(08:00):
He don't have no discipline.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
You do.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
When you discipline the kids, they hate it, and then
they go to him, and he relishes in that moment
that you hate that. He relishes in the moment that
the kids hate you for doing that. He's being a
Disney dad in the house. Like I explained earlier. That's
usually an alimony and child support cases. When the man
goes over to get cussity for the kid for the
(08:23):
weekend only two days, and they take them back and
they get cotton can they get eat all the cookies
and ice cream and sneakers and trip to the mall
and movies. Then when you go home, it's all work.
He ain't putting no work in the raising the kids.
But now he won't give him. There with that's a
Disney dad. But this Disney dad is in your house.
(08:43):
That's trouble. And then at the end of he makes
the majority of the money. At the end of the month,
you need to ask him for money. He relishes in
that too, And you say he gets pleasure by that
and that's his little way of controlling it. Well, ma'am,
he's controlling you in more ways than that, because this dude,
you are in an unhealthy relationship. Then let's let's finish
(09:04):
out the rest up. I cook dinner, he eat in silence.
What you live in a house with a person that
don't talk to you? How long this has been going on?
And says And then unless he's talking to the kids,
we got movie night.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
He asks the kids what they want to watch, but
he don't ask me what I want to watch.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Wait a minute, man, so he can just do you
any way he wants to and there's no consequences. You mean,
you have to cook, He get to eat and don't
talk to you while he eating. He'll answer me if
I address him, but he doesn't ever initiate conversation with me.
I don't remember why he got mad at me in
(09:50):
the first place, because he's a master at holding.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Grudges for a long time. Man. You just.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Can I tell you someth These ain't real man traits.
Most men won't peace in their house. Most men try
to be accommodating to their girl. He ain't trying to
do nothing with you, but he can turn on the
passion for sex and then he rolls over and go
right back to knowing me. Why are you still having
sex with him? What is that about? Well, you can't
(10:23):
do that to her, flaud those of us men just listening,
Try that in real life and see how.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
That work for you. Man, Shut up, I'm sleeping.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
His brother called me his wife the other day, and
my man quickly told him we ain't married, so he
ain't got no plans of marrying you.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
He don't like the concept of y'all saying y'all.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Married, But he's getting the aughts. Lady, what's happening here
is you've allowed this man to get all the benefits
of the marriage and you get nuh.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
He cooks for you, you have children for him.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
He has sex with you, and don't talk to you
after that, and don't talk to you during dinner anyway
one of your kids. One of your kids says that
she hates when her dad says ugly things about.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Who does that?
Speaker 4 (11:34):
She said, I should leave him and she and her
brother will stay and take care of him. I bet
he put that idea in her head over How did
you miss what she said?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Though? What are you talking about?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
He put that idea in her head and the idea
with me and him will stay with him and take
care of him. You didn't hear her say you should
leave him because she don't like when her daddy say
ugly things about her mama.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
You didn't hear that part all. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 5 (12:04):
Now?
Speaker 4 (12:04):
You conditioned to accept bad behavior and now you're sitting
up in there talking about I bet they put that
in here that will stay, stay with him and take
care of him. Lady, If you don't get out of
there and take them kids, I have nothing else for you.
In this letter, he's turning the kids against me. I
(12:28):
wish he would talk to me so we can figure
this out. How do I get him to communicate? You're
not He doesn't even talk to you after sex. He
don't talk to you when y'all eating. He don't talk
to y'all when y'all movie night. He don't have a
conversation with you unless you need initiate it. I wish
he would talk to me so he can figure this out.
(12:48):
Let me help you figure this part out. He don't
want to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
You want to talk so y'all can figure it out.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
He'll then want to talk to you period at all.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Ma'am, you've been.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
Beat so long by this man, you've accepted it as normalacy.
You can't accept bad behavior and think this is normal.
Do you know what is what you're really supposed to do.
You're really supposed to wake up and be happy. You're
really supposed to wake up with a plan. You're really
(13:24):
supposed to wake up in a relationship with somebody and
y'all playing a future together. That's what y'all supposed to do.
You're really supposed to wake up, go to bed and love.
You're supposed to wake up and feel warm, safe and secure.
You have none of that. Leave him and leave poor alimony.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Bounce on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook at
Steve BARBFM, and check us out on The Strawberry Letter
podcast on the Free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Coming up next to this junior and sports talk.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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