January 13, 2026 • 13 mins
The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Tuesday, January 13th, 2026. Subject: "I'm Going With The Flow"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your letter live.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
On the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
It could be yours. Bugle love and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thank you, nephew. Subject. I'm going with the flow. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty four years old and I met
a great man in church and he moved me in
after a year of dating. I felt like it was
too soon, but my lease was ending, and my friend
said that at my age, I should go with the flow.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well, going with the flow has got me in a
miserable living situation.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Everything is fine between us, but he has a trifling
daughter that runs him. She has access to all of
his accounts and she paid his mortgage and bill until
I moved in. I took over the bills, and she
had a nerve to ask me if I would be
splitting things fifty to fifty.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
With her dad.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I told him to get her straight, but he didn't,
so she still has a key to the house and
keys to both his cars. She comes over unannounced to
wash clothes or to see what's in our fridge. She
doesn't have a car, so she usually rides with different
men or some raggedy females she hangs out with. I
have a problem with the riff rap being in our house,
(01:30):
but her dad is always excited to see her and
have a drink with her. The girl uses my makeup
and my feminine products without asking and doesn't replace anything.
She walks in and out of our bedroom like she's
the woman of the house. I told my man that
we need to set some boundaries, he says, she used.
(01:51):
She's used to it being just the two of them,
so I need to give her more time. My friend
said the same thing and added that if I keep complain,
he's going to get rid of me, not the daughter.
If they tell me to go with the flow one
more time, I'm going to lose it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I thought about bonding with.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
The daughter, but she is not the type of person
I'd associate myself with. How do I make some changes
around here? So that I can be comfortable at home.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You're going to have to move. Seriously, you're not going
to be comfortable there.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You're not going to be able to make any changes
there because it's not your house. His disrespectful daughter doesn't
want you there interfering with her and her dad's relationship.
Can't you see this messing You're messing up her good thing?
Speaking of relationships, since I mentioned that, where is this
one between you and the dad going anyway? Are you
(02:46):
guys planning on being married or you're planning on just
living together? You know that should be made clear here
because things would change if you became the wife.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I just wanted to know that.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think you don't tell us how old the daughter is,
but I think she's definitely old enough to know she's
out of line and what she's doing is for you.
She's basically pulling rank and throwing it in her face,
in your face that she still comes first with her dad,
So you will never be the woman of this house.
The bond is just too strong between them, and the
(03:23):
dad is scared to say something to her about it
for fear she'll disappear. You said in your letter, he's
always excited to see her and have a drink with her.
Your friends are right about him putting you out before
if he has to choose before her, and bonding with
her is not going to work because clearly you guys
(03:43):
don't like each other, you know. I just find it
hard to believe that you didn't know any of this
before you moved in. You didn't know how the daughter
and the father got along and all of that. You
all didn't talk about any of that, or were you
just thinking about him providing you with a roof for
your head since your lease was up. Your guy isn't
stepping up. He's not putting his daughter in her place. So,
(04:06):
like I said, you need to move out and get
your own place.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Anyway, Steve, Yes, great advice.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Shery.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Here's a problem. I'm going with the flow. This is
the whole problem. And the reason this woman has chosen
to go with the flow is cause she's fifty four,
fifty four. If you were twenty four, thirty four, forty four,
would you put up with this? Probably not, But you're
fifty four. You're gonna go with the flow. You met
(04:37):
a great man in church who how many times we
done heard that met a great man at church. He
moved in, and he moved me in. After a year
of dating, he moved you in. I felt like it
was too soon, but my lease was in it, and
(04:58):
my friend said, here we go that at my age,
I should go with the flow. These your friends. I
wish I could see her friends. I really wish I could.
I wish I could see him. It would explain so
much well. Going with the flow has gotten me in
(05:18):
a miserable living situation. Everything is fine between us, but
he's got a trifling daughter that runs him. She has
access to all his accounts. She pays his mortgage and
bills until I moved in. I took over the bills,
and she had the nerve to ask me if I
would be splitting things fifty to fifty with her dad.
(05:39):
She and that good right. I told him to get
her straight, but he didn't. She got a key to
the house, She got keys to both of his cars.
She comes over without asking. She washed clothes or to
see what's in the fridge. She doesn't have a who
(06:00):
is this good woman here? She ain't got no washing machine,
she ain't got nothing to eat, she ain't got no
car what So she rides with different men or some
raggedy female she hangs out with. I got a problem
with the riff raf being in our house. Well, see,
(06:21):
SHIRLEYE kind of said this to you, but it ain't
your house. She moved you in. The daughter was already
in position. She not about to change her position because
you done got moved in.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Hang on, Steve, we'll recap.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subjects
I'm going with the flow. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
Hey, it's Carla fair So kick that old mop and
bucket aside. Are you ready for a mop and bucket
clean and half the time make the swap to Swipper
Power Mop.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
The only one.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Cleaning Hero has a built in solution that breaks down
dirt and grime like magic. With hundreds of scrubbing strips
on the pad, it absorbs stick nesses with ease. Plus
it'll leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.
Get yours today and mop smarter with the Swipper Power Mop.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strauwberry letter,
the subject.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Is I'm going with the flow.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I'm going with the flow has gotten this woman in trouble,
and it seems to me like that it's age related,
cause she starts off the letter, I'm fifty four years old.
I met a great guy church. Now this right here,
you're letting me know that age has something to do
with this letter. I felt like he moved me in
(07:58):
after a year dating. Felt like it was too early,
but my lease was in it. And my friend said
that at my age, I should go with the floor.
Because you know, I'm assuming if you're fifty four, you
probably wouldn't have went along with this at twenty four,
at thirty four or forty four, But somehow fifty four,
(08:20):
crossing that half century mark has affected your thinking.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So now you'd have signed up.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
But you didn't know nothing about this little trifling daughter
that pays all his bills, all of his mortgage, and
all this here you came in. She's so comfortable, she
asked you, was you splitting fifty fifty with her daddy?
You told her to get her under control. He ain't
said nothing to her. Well, it ought to become obvious
if you splitting stuff fifty to fifty because you would
(08:49):
be making a contribution to the mortgage and all that,
but obviously you're not. Now she comes over to the
house to wash clothes, check what's in the refrigerator, and
she got keys to both because she don't have a car.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I don't know who this woman is right here.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
That ain't got no washing machine, ain't got no need,
no food, and don't have no car. And she got
these men bringing all over, these raggedy females, and you
don't want them in your house. Well, like Shirley pointed out,
it's not your house, it's his house. You moved in
after Dayton for a year cause you let your friends
(09:27):
tell you to go with the flow. Yeah, at one
point in time, we're supposted to no more when we
get older.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
I'll admit I've done some stupid stuff after fifty, Lord,
have I no kidding?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Poor Lord, I've done some stuff, but I ain't never
had to write no letter about it.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
And so now, huh, we could help you? Yeah, I
don't need help.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
No, no, no, no, y'all can't no.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
No no. The trouble I be getting in can't nobody
help me? But the Lord.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
That's my right there. And my friend said the same thing.
He said if you They said, if you keep complaining,
he gonna get rid of you and not the daughter.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Okay, but what.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Are you settling for. You're not complaining. You're the house.
You can't set no rules where you live. You can't
make no boundaries. You don't like these trifling people hanging
out at your house, but you got to let them
in because it's his house. Girl, listen to me. You
need to go get you another lease and move yourself
(10:44):
back into your apartment, or at least threatening to because
you need to issue an ultimatum. Look, if I'm gonna
be here and I'm gonna be your woman, and you're
gonna invite me to this house, you need to share
this house with me, because I'm not finna be a tenant.
I'm not in here as a border following your rules,
you know, like you got to ad B and B you
(11:06):
know where I can't. You got rules and established when
I come in here. And if I can't establish the rules,
I don't need to live here. Why would you live
somewhere and you have no say so in the conditions
that you have to live in, you can't pick who
comes in and out the house. You can't stop people
from opening your refrigerator. You can't stop And then she
(11:27):
got keys to both cars and she take both of them.
You can't stop this woman from driving your car. Suppose
you got plans and you look outside and she going
in the car you was gonna take.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
No, man, why would you live like this?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
It doesn't make any sense all because you going with
the flow and you fifty four lady, what you ought
to do is go to your man and say this
right here, I can't do this no more.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I love you, but I can't do this.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
And I know you love me, but you don't love
me enough to make sure that I'm safe and comfortable.
Women want to be in a relationship where they First
of all, a woman wants to feel safe. If you
don't feel safe, man, let's just okay, let's not even
get to the provided for a part. Yet you don't
(12:20):
feel safe. You mean to tell me. You come in
the house and you don't know who's gonna be sitting there.
You go to get in the car, you don't know
whether it's in the driveway or not. You come in
the house and somebody standing in your refrigerator, using your
feminine products.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Don't ask you nothing.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
You don't know if when you come in the house
that everything you put in place is still gonna be
in place. You going in there to watch TV in
the living room and some people already in there watching it.
You gonna live like that, man? It ain't no way.
Home is supposed to be the one place, the one
place where you can go and feel safe, have control,
(13:04):
have your wusaw moment. You got to go home, be
able to take a breath. You can't go home and
choke it at the same time that lady, here's what
you do. This is how I feel when I come here.
I can't do this no more. I know you was
trying to help me out. My lease was up, but
let me tell you something. I'm gonna go get me
another lease and I'm gonna move out because I can't
(13:26):
do this no more. I love you, but I know
you love your daughter, and I'm not asking you not
to love her no more.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
But I got stick go all right either ut ultimatum
on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram
and Facebook.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You can download this today. Have free never sounded so good.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your letter live.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
On the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
It could be yours. Bugle love and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thank you, nephew. Subject. I'm going with the flow. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty four years old and I met
a great man in church and he moved me in
after a year of dating. I felt like it was
too soon, but my lease was ending, and my friend
said that at my age, I should go with the flow.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well, going with the flow has got me in a
miserable living situation.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Everything is fine between us, but he has a trifling
daughter that runs him. She has access to all of
his accounts and she paid his mortgage and bill until
I moved in. I took over the bills, and she
had a nerve to ask me if I would be
splitting things fifty to fifty.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
With her dad.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I told him to get her straight, but he didn't,
so she still has a key to the house and
keys to both his cars. She comes over unannounced to
wash clothes or to see what's in our fridge. She
doesn't have a car, so she usually rides with different
men or some raggedy females she hangs out with. I
have a problem with the riff rap being in our house,
(01:30):
but her dad is always excited to see her and
have a drink with her. The girl uses my makeup
and my feminine products without asking and doesn't replace anything.
She walks in and out of our bedroom like she's
the woman of the house. I told my man that
we need to set some boundaries, he says, she used.
(01:51):
She's used to it being just the two of them,
so I need to give her more time. My friend
said the same thing and added that if I keep complain,
he's going to get rid of me, not the daughter.
If they tell me to go with the flow one
more time, I'm going to lose it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I thought about bonding with.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
The daughter, but she is not the type of person
I'd associate myself with. How do I make some changes
around here? So that I can be comfortable at home.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You're going to have to move. Seriously, you're not going
to be comfortable there.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
You're not going to be able to make any changes
there because it's not your house. His disrespectful daughter doesn't
want you there interfering with her and her dad's relationship.
Can't you see this messing You're messing up her good thing?
Speaking of relationships, since I mentioned that, where is this
one between you and the dad going anyway? Are you
(02:46):
guys planning on being married or you're planning on just
living together? You know that should be made clear here
because things would change if you became the wife.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I just wanted to know that.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
I think you don't tell us how old the daughter is,
but I think she's definitely old enough to know she's
out of line and what she's doing is for you.
She's basically pulling rank and throwing it in her face,
in your face that she still comes first with her dad,
So you will never be the woman of this house.
The bond is just too strong between them, and the
(03:23):
dad is scared to say something to her about it
for fear she'll disappear. You said in your letter, he's
always excited to see her and have a drink with her.
Your friends are right about him putting you out before
if he has to choose before her, and bonding with
her is not going to work because clearly you guys
(03:43):
don't like each other, you know. I just find it
hard to believe that you didn't know any of this
before you moved in. You didn't know how the daughter
and the father got along and all of that. You
all didn't talk about any of that, or were you
just thinking about him providing you with a roof for
your head since your lease was up. Your guy isn't
stepping up. He's not putting his daughter in her place. So,
(04:06):
like I said, you need to move out and get
your own place.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Anyway, Steve, Yes, great advice.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Shery.
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Here's a problem. I'm going with the flow. This is
the whole problem. And the reason this woman has chosen
to go with the flow is cause she's fifty four,
fifty four. If you were twenty four, thirty four, forty four,
would you put up with this? Probably not, But you're
fifty four. You're gonna go with the flow. You met
(04:37):
a great man in church who how many times we
done heard that met a great man at church. He
moved in, and he moved me in. After a year
of dating, he moved you in. I felt like it
was too soon, but my lease was in it, and
(04:58):
my friend said, here we go that at my age,
I should go with the flow. These your friends. I
wish I could see her friends. I really wish I could.
I wish I could see him. It would explain so
much well. Going with the flow has gotten me in
(05:18):
a miserable living situation. Everything is fine between us, but
he's got a trifling daughter that runs him. She has
access to all his accounts. She pays his mortgage and
bills until I moved in. I took over the bills,
and she had the nerve to ask me if I
would be splitting things fifty to fifty with her dad.
(05:39):
She and that good right. I told him to get
her straight, but he didn't. She got a key to
the house, She got keys to both of his cars.
She comes over without asking. She washed clothes or to
see what's in the fridge. She doesn't have a who
(06:00):
is this good woman here? She ain't got no washing machine,
she ain't got nothing to eat, she ain't got no
car what So she rides with different men or some
raggedy female she hangs out with. I got a problem
with the riff raf being in our house. Well, see,
(06:21):
SHIRLEYE kind of said this to you, but it ain't
your house. She moved you in. The daughter was already
in position. She not about to change her position because
you done got moved in.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Hang on, Steve, we'll recap.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subjects
I'm going with the flow. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
Hey, it's Carla fair So kick that old mop and
bucket aside. Are you ready for a mop and bucket
clean and half the time make the swap to Swipper
Power Mop.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
The only one.
Speaker 5 (07:09):
Cleaning Hero has a built in solution that breaks down
dirt and grime like magic. With hundreds of scrubbing strips
on the pad, it absorbs stick nesses with ease. Plus
it'll leave your home smelling great for hours after cleaning.
Get yours today and mop smarter with the Swipper Power Mop.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strauwberry letter,
the subject.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Is I'm going with the flow.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
I'm going with the flow has gotten this woman in trouble,
and it seems to me like that it's age related,
cause she starts off the letter, I'm fifty four years old.
I met a great guy church. Now this right here,
you're letting me know that age has something to do
with this letter. I felt like he moved me in
(07:58):
after a year dating. Felt like it was too early,
but my lease was in it. And my friend said
that at my age, I should go with the floor.
Because you know, I'm assuming if you're fifty four, you
probably wouldn't have went along with this at twenty four,
at thirty four or forty four, But somehow fifty four,
(08:20):
crossing that half century mark has affected your thinking.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
So now you'd have signed up.
Speaker 4 (08:26):
But you didn't know nothing about this little trifling daughter
that pays all his bills, all of his mortgage, and
all this here you came in. She's so comfortable, she
asked you, was you splitting fifty fifty with her daddy?
You told her to get her under control. He ain't
said nothing to her. Well, it ought to become obvious
if you splitting stuff fifty to fifty because you would
(08:49):
be making a contribution to the mortgage and all that,
but obviously you're not. Now she comes over to the
house to wash clothes, check what's in the refrigerator, and
she got keys to both because she don't have a car.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
I don't know who this woman is right here.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
That ain't got no washing machine, ain't got no need,
no food, and don't have no car. And she got
these men bringing all over, these raggedy females, and you
don't want them in your house. Well, like Shirley pointed out,
it's not your house, it's his house. You moved in
after Dayton for a year cause you let your friends
(09:27):
tell you to go with the flow. Yeah, at one
point in time, we're supposted to no more when we
get older.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
I'll admit I've done some stupid stuff after fifty, Lord,
have I no kidding?
Speaker 4 (09:46):
Poor Lord, I've done some stuff, but I ain't never
had to write no letter about it.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
And so now, huh, we could help you? Yeah, I
don't need help.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
No, no, no, no, y'all can't no.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
No no. The trouble I be getting in can't nobody
help me? But the Lord.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
That's my right there. And my friend said the same thing.
He said if you They said, if you keep complaining,
he gonna get rid of you and not the daughter.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Okay, but what.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Are you settling for. You're not complaining. You're the house.
You can't set no rules where you live. You can't
make no boundaries. You don't like these trifling people hanging
out at your house, but you got to let them
in because it's his house. Girl, listen to me. You
need to go get you another lease and move yourself
(10:44):
back into your apartment, or at least threatening to because
you need to issue an ultimatum. Look, if I'm gonna
be here and I'm gonna be your woman, and you're
gonna invite me to this house, you need to share
this house with me, because I'm not finna be a tenant.
I'm not in here as a border following your rules,
you know, like you got to ad B and B you
(11:06):
know where I can't. You got rules and established when
I come in here. And if I can't establish the rules,
I don't need to live here. Why would you live
somewhere and you have no say so in the conditions
that you have to live in, you can't pick who
comes in and out the house. You can't stop people
from opening your refrigerator. You can't stop And then she
(11:27):
got keys to both cars and she take both of them.
You can't stop this woman from driving your car. Suppose
you got plans and you look outside and she going
in the car you was gonna take.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
No, man, why would you live like this?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
It doesn't make any sense all because you going with
the flow and you fifty four lady, what you ought
to do is go to your man and say this
right here, I can't do this no more.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I love you, but I can't do this.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
And I know you love me, but you don't love
me enough to make sure that I'm safe and comfortable.
Women want to be in a relationship where they First
of all, a woman wants to feel safe. If you
don't feel safe, man, let's just okay, let's not even
get to the provided for a part. Yet you don't
(12:20):
feel safe. You mean to tell me. You come in
the house and you don't know who's gonna be sitting there.
You go to get in the car, you don't know
whether it's in the driveway or not. You come in
the house and somebody standing in your refrigerator, using your
feminine products.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Don't ask you nothing.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
You don't know if when you come in the house
that everything you put in place is still gonna be
in place. You going in there to watch TV in
the living room and some people already in there watching it.
You gonna live like that, man? It ain't no way.
Home is supposed to be the one place, the one
place where you can go and feel safe, have control,
(13:04):
have your wusaw moment. You got to go home, be
able to take a breath. You can't go home and
choke it at the same time that lady, here's what
you do. This is how I feel when I come here.
I can't do this no more. I know you was
trying to help me out. My lease was up, but
let me tell you something. I'm gonna go get me
another lease and I'm gonna move out because I can't
(13:26):
do this no more. I love you, but I know
you love your daughter, and I'm not asking you not
to love her no more.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
But I got stick go all right either ut ultimatum
on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram
and Facebook.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You can download this today. Have free never sounded so good.
You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com