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July 29, 2024 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, for the past 23 years, I’ve been married to the nicest guy in the world and I have always tried to be the perfect wife and mother. In the beginning of our marriage, our sex life was perfect, but over the past 7 years, things have drastically changed. In 2018, we had sex maybe 8 times in the whole year. I counted them. I don’t think he is cheating, because all he does is go to work and come home. If he goes out, we go out as a family. I just don’t think that he is interested in sex at all. He is completely complacent and I’ve stopped initiating sex because I get tired of him telling me to “move” all of the time......................................

 

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today Strawberry Letter and if you need
advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and click
submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live
on the air, just like we're going to read this
one right here, right now.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Buck a up, hold on tight here. It is the
Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Subject married and celibate. Dear Stephen Shirley. For the past
twenty three years, I've been married to the nicest guy
in the world, and I have always tried to be
the perfect wife and mother. In the beginning of our marriage,
our sex life was perfect, but over the past seven
years things have drastically changed.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
We had sex maybe eight times in the whole year.
I counted them.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
I don't think he's cheating because all he does is
go to work and come home.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
If he goes out, we go out as a family.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
I just don't think that he is that he's interested
in sex at all. He is completely complacent, and I've
stopped initiating sex because I get tired of him telling
me to move.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
All the time.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Move.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
He comes to bites, he comes to bed, to watch TV,
and that's how he falls asleep each night. When I
told him that I need sex regularly, he told me
that sex should not.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
Be everything in a marriage.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
That shocked me and hurt me to the core because
I'm only forty five years old and sex is everything
to me.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
It made me feel inadequate.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
And if he's tired of me, and as if he's
tired of me, how does he expect to just stop
having sex with his wife and it will be okay?
And nothing has changed with me physically? With me, I
am the same size I was when we got married,
and I have aged well. I can fight it in
my older sisters about my embarrassing little secret because I

(01:57):
needed to know if this is normal behavior in a marriage.
They told me that it's not normal, and they think
my husband is lame and needs to step up as
a man. On the outside, our marriage looks so perfect,
but on the inside, I'm constantly craving intimacy and sneaking
around to have special times by myself to fulfill my needs.

(02:20):
I can't live the rest of my life in a
sexless marriage. How can I get my husband to see
that this is a problem and we need help?

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Please advise well You're right. This is a problem.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
This is an epic problem. You cannot live the rest
of your life in a sexless marriage, and you shouldn't
be expected to. I mean, you've been married to this
man for twenty three years. You said in the beginning
the sex life was perfect, but over the past seven years.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
It hasn't been.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
You can count them on your both hands how many
times you've had it. That's a long time to go,
you know, without sex on the regular. I'm not a man, obviously,
I don't know exactly what's going on in your husband's head,
but usually sex is the thing that healthy, red blooded
American men think about the most.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
I mean that's what I've heard. Guys. Yes, guys, okay, ye,
thank you. And although you didn't mate it, now this
letter made you think about it.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Although you didn't say it, wifey, but I'm gonna say it.
I say your husband may have ed. I mean, he
just might have that erectile dysfunction, and he probably needs
to see a doctor. I mean, I think you need
to look into that immediately. I'm definitely glad to hear
that you haven't changed physically. You said that in the letter,

(03:46):
and please do not blame yourself. You guys are both
in the marriage. This is an us problem. This is
a wee problem. You need to go to a doctor
and find out what's what's the problem.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
You need to I know, I know, I said, we
I know. Anyway, that's what I think, Steve.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
Wow, Oh lord, Okay, twenty three years you've been married
a nice guy. Tried to be the perfect wife. He
had to marriage sex life perfect. But the past seven
years things has happened drastically. We had sex maybe eight
times a whole year. That ain't good when they know

(04:26):
the number of fellas. That is not good. When she
know the number eight times last year. Oh we hadn't
more sick than that. No, we didn't eight damn time.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
We know he didn't.

Speaker 5 (04:42):
She don't think he's cheating because he worked all the
time and he comes straight home. I don't think that
he's interested in sex at all. He is completely complacent,
and I've stopped initiating sex because I get tired of
moved telling me to move all the time. I think
he got ed and I think is messing. Oh boy up,

(05:03):
let me go back over this, y'all. The past seven
years day sex was good, but some stuff happened. We
had sex maybe eight times the whole year. Like I said,
once they know a number, you in trouble. She said,
she don't think he's interested in sex at all. He's
completely complacent, and I've started initiating sex.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
I got moved.

Speaker 5 (05:26):
Girl, gone, girl, gone, what you're doing?

Speaker 1 (05:31):
No?

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Not now? Stop touching me?

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Oh damn, you wear.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Some the.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
Worse or gone now. When I told him when.

Speaker 5 (05:46):
I need sex regularly, he told me to section not
be everything in the marriage.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
That's the hell of a state.

Speaker 5 (05:53):
That shocked me. He shocked me too, ma'am. I'm reading
a letter and damn it, I'm shocked. Section not be
everything in the mary? Well, what is in that fold?
Then I need all of mine? And now I know
that I don't know that's right, though, shock me and
it hurt me to the core because I'm only forty
five and sex is everything to me. Makes me feel inadequate.

(06:18):
And if he's and as if he's tired of me,
I think that might be it. Though I think that's
got a lot to do it. I think after seven
years people get a little comfortable with each other, and
that's why we have the seven year itch. It's a
syndrome that happens to people at the seven year mark,
they start going to scratch that itch.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
Is he cheating? Do you think?

Speaker 1 (06:41):
She says she doesn't think he is, But we can
get into that when we come back with part two
of your response to today's Strawberry Letters, subject married and celibate.
We'll be back in twenty three after the hour right
after this.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
You're listening hard Morning show.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
All right, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Letter, married and sell it.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yeah, she's both.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Married, but they only had sex eight times.

Speaker 5 (07:07):
Yeah, she wants him to do more now, well, yeah,
this is a new year.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Yeah, Steve, she said she doesn't think he's cheating. Do
you think he's cheating?

Speaker 2 (07:17):
She said?

Speaker 1 (07:18):
All he does is go to work and come home,
and if they do go out, they go out as
a family.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
Well, I don't think he's cheating. I think he might
have d oh, I think he tired of And then
she says, how does he expect that to just be okay?
To stop having sex with his wife and it be okay?
Nothing has changed with me physically. I'm the same as
I wore, the same size I was.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
When we got married.

Speaker 5 (07:43):
Ain't nobody the same side, Well, nobody, Steve, she said it.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
She's the same side, he laes, sir, truth about everything else,
but just that she's lying.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
She ain't gain no way.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
She's the same side.

Speaker 4 (08:07):
Everybody looking at the mirror and thinks they say everybody.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
Plus twenty.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
But everything else she's telling the truth, but just this
one line she's lying.

Speaker 5 (08:20):
Well, she's lying a couple of times in the letter
where else. They told me that it's not normal, and
they think my husband is lame. I confided in my
older sisters about, yeah, my embarrassing little secret, because I
needed to know if this was normal behavior in a marriage.
They told me that it's not normal, and they think

(08:40):
my husband is lame and needs to step up as
a man. On the outside, our marriage looks so perfect,
but on the inside, I'm constantly craving intullacy, sneaking around
to have special times by myself to fulfill my need.
So she going somewhere by herself to f few, honey,

(09:02):
And once you tell it to that to him, he'll crackle.
Right now, that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Okay, I'm still stuck on.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
I'm the same size as I was when we got
married and I have aged.

Speaker 5 (09:13):
Well, we need to bring in some evidence. What evidence
can she provide?

Speaker 3 (09:20):
We're not blaming her?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, like a picture?

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, picture addressing him? Although I'm taking her at her words.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
You got made some evidence in front of me.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
Evidence is in the letter.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
Everything else you believe that she said in the letter
and just this one line on the same size I
was when we got married and I have aged?

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Well, what.

Speaker 6 (09:49):
Age?

Speaker 3 (09:50):
Well?

Speaker 1 (09:53):
What is she gonna do about her husband that's not
interested in having sex with her anymore?

Speaker 3 (09:59):
And his d that's the problem, I think, Yeah, I
do too. Well, we're all in agreement on that. I
think so too.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
So when that happens, see why did why won't he
go to the doctor?

Speaker 3 (10:12):
I mean and get the bills?

Speaker 5 (10:14):
Right?

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Men? You guys are men? Three men? Is working? Okay?
But what about your fellow man?

Speaker 2 (10:25):
I never asked my homebo do you?

Speaker 3 (10:27):
I can't read that conversation.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
We don't get it.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
You want to what.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
I'm okay, j I'm dysfunctioning.

Speaker 3 (10:37):
What time? Okay?

Speaker 2 (10:41):
When it start? We don't have it?

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Oh, you are so infantile and juvenile? So I mean,
but what advice would you give someone?

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Though?

Speaker 1 (10:54):
That's the issue another man, What would you say to
him if you know, if you suspect he has e D.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
I mean, what you telling them to go to the
doctor and get some pails or what?

Speaker 2 (11:06):
What's you said? Ain't nothing up?

Speaker 6 (11:13):
Okay, So y'all conversation where y'all boys, and you be
like yo, man, my old lady tripping. You know, she
even wanting to get busy all the time.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
I ain't got the strength of the energy.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
Y'all.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
Don't have them kind of man. You know the jokes
is a boy, the fire off in this car?

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Man, what you ain't ready because the manta and your ego. Man,
let you admit that if it just won't, let you
admit that to another minute.

Speaker 4 (11:43):
What if I find out somebody going down there, bring
me a couple of them, peels back down.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Just let that your boy hold some of them. If
you're going down.

Speaker 4 (11:50):
There, if doctor uh huh, yeah, yeah, I want to
cut you on what dog?

Speaker 3 (11:56):
If you're going down there telling me send you two
of them?

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yell, appeal, give me.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
The yellow pill. How do you know what color they are?

Speaker 4 (12:04):
Oh? You know what, I ain't got nothing to man,
you knew.

Speaker 5 (12:10):
What you read in a great white show.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Color.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
So so okay, so we have something here.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
She needs to tell her husband to go to the
doctor and get some yellow pills.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
According to Tommy.

Speaker 4 (12:27):
Ten you know the strength of the scription.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Ten mill of gram.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
Wow, he can't ask.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Philis to help you with situation like this.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
You can ask, yeah, I just learned something on this show.
I definitely have.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
Like we'll fight before you get started off, take your
jumper cables and hook them to your backsize.

Speaker 3 (12:54):
If you can't joke yourself on the game, why yellows,
try it now? Yell at that yellow bills ten milligrams.
All right, Look, we gotta get out of break a
lot of walk. All right? Got you heard it here
on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. We're here for you. Okay,

(13:16):
email us their Instagram.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's your thoughts on today, Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey FM.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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