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February 2, 2026 13 mins

The Strawberry Letter heard on The Steve Harvey Morning Show Monday, February 2nd, 2026. Subject: "Whose Side Is He On?"

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter and we could be reading
your letter live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
All right, buckle up, hold on site. We got it
for you here. It is strong Baby Letters.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Subject whose side is he on? Dear Stephen Shirley. My
husband and I bicker a lot, and he repeats things
to his mama and daddy and they judge me from
what he's told them. Over the holidays, we went to
his parents' house in Ohio, and I was miserable the
entire time because his mom is a trip. Before we

(00:47):
got married, we've had a huge argument in front of
his parents, and his mother told me that I should
know my place with my husband and stop challenging him
whenever he tells me things. I understood that and promised
myself that I would do better. Her advice has continued,
and four years later, she still only has advice from

(01:07):
me when my husband and I get into arguments. Yes,
we argue over stupid stuff all the time. His dad
knows the stuff it's stupid, but he's always on my
husband's side. I texted an online therapist for help and
was told that if the group thinks I'm wrong, then
I'm wrong, So I need your opinion. I take care
of all the laundry and dry cleaning. My husband will

(01:31):
want to wear a particular shirt one day, but it's
still at the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate
with me, and that can stop happening. He will say
things like, we don't have any children, so why can't
I go to the dry cleaner more often? His parents
have agreed with him on little issues like this, when
the underlying issue is they're mad because they want grandchildren

(01:53):
and I'm not ready. I'm not having a baby with
a man that talks down to me and picks fights
over petty ds. When his mom talks to me crazy
and I tell her to watch her tone, he sides
with her. I don't have my family, and I don't
have my family and our personal affairs, so why can't
he keep them out of our business?

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Well?

Speaker 1 (02:12):
I think that's kind of simple. It seems like They've
coddled him all of his life, and he's really never
stood up to them about anything, especially you know about you,
his spouse. They still treat him like he's their little boy,
and anyone who speaks up or challenges him like you
is the enemy or she should know her place or whatever.

(02:33):
And he never followed that principle in the Bible that says,
you know, to leave all others and cleave to the wife.
He doesn't put you or the marriage first. There's also
a saying that goes what happens in the house stays
in the house or house business. And there's no way
that as a grown man, he should be running back
to his parents telling them what goes on at home.

(02:56):
Of course, they're going to dislike you and resent you
if he's only telling one side of the story. I mean,
do you and your husband even like each other? Because
it doesn't sound like it. I mean, what is all
this arguing and fighting about anyway? And why are you
guys arguing in front of his folks. You really need

(03:16):
to stop that because if you do it in front
of them, they're most likely going to be in the business.
I would say, don't even respond when his mom talks
to you crazy because telling her to watch her tone
is disrespectful and that's why he sides with her. You know,
it just sounds crazy. That sounds crazy too. I think
this can be fixed if you guys stop being so

(03:38):
petty with each other and just grow up. The both
of you should seek marital counseling. And please don't have
a baby until after you finish your therapy sessions, please, Steve.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
Well Well Well this type of letter that I specialize
because it's called reading between the lines?

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Whose side is he on? When you say who? Who
do you mean? Who is he?

Speaker 3 (04:07):
She must be referring to her husband. Well throughout the letter,
it ain't on your side, So let's just figure this out.
This Stephen Shirley, my husband and I biger a lot.
He repeats things to his mom and daddy and they
judge me from what he's told them.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
Mama's boy.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Over the holidays, we went to his parents' house in Ohio,
and I was miserable the entire time because his mom
is a trip mama's boy. Before we got married, we
got into a huge argument in front of his parents
and his mother told me that I should know my
place with my husband and stopped challenging him whenever he
tells me things. Mama's boy. I understood that and promised

(04:52):
myself that I would do better.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
You can't.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
You're married to a mama's boy. Her advice has continued.
That's cause he's a mama's boy. And four years later,
she still only has advice for me when my husband
and I get into argument.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Mama's boy.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Yes, we argu over stupid stuff all the time. His
dad knows the stuff that's stupid, but he's always on
my husband's side. He's scared at a mama too. I
text an online now here we go. I text and
online therapists for help and was told if the group

(05:36):
thinks I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Now you know me
and therapist. But therapy is real. So if you're gonna go,
I suggest you get off line. Sound to me like
you need to go sit somewhere and see somebody lie.
See you on line telling them what's wrong and they
can't see your faith. Therapists work better when they can

(06:00):
see your face, when they can hear you heavy breathing.
You know when they do a response you don't like
and you fold your arms. See all this can't come
across online, you know, like even when we zoom, you
can't tell the whole story when we zoom it. See,
you don't really know what I'm doing right now, not everything.

(06:21):
You can't see both my hands. You don't know what
I'm doing. See that's why on line therapy might not
be best for you. You need to take your somewhere and
see somebody live because think you wrong, then you wrong?
Then while the hell you go talk to the group
instead of therapy.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Oh that thought, Steve. Okay, we'll have part two of
your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the
hour Today's Strawberry Letters subject whose side is he on?
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening,
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(07:01):
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(07:22):
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dot com. All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. The subject whose side is he on?

Speaker 3 (07:35):
Well, you know, we done talked about this being a
mama's boy, and I think that's what's true, because a
lot of stuff in.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Here when they argue, she take his side. Mama's boy.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Every time they have a dispute, he run home and
tell his mommy and daddy, mama's boy. You know, you
ought to know your place with your husband and stop
challenging whatever he tall. You think that's what his mama
said to you. That's because her mama's born. His father
know y'all all over stupids up, but he takes his
son's side too. That's called the daddy scared of the
mama too. Okay, Now we didne got this cleared up.

(08:08):
The mama's running things over there. So now you done
got so tired of this that you'd havee decided to
go to an online therapist for help and was told
that if the group thinks I'm wrong, I'm wrong. My
suggestion is you need to quit going online to this therapist,
and you need to take your down to her office.

(08:29):
You needed somebody to see your face in your therapist, sesson.
You need somebody hit somebody hear you heavy breathing, to
see a therapist can help you better if they see
all the nuances of your frustration, lip smacking, heavy breathing, underbreath, mothering.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
They needs to hear it is to help you. They
need to hear this. He ain't getting it online.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
So I suggest going down that line. Now here we go,
so I need your opinion. I take care of all
our laundry and dry cleaning. My husband will want to
wear a particular shirt one day, but it's still at
the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate with me,
and that can stop happening. He will say things like,
we don't have any children, so why can't I go

(09:25):
through the dry cleaner's more often. Let's take this line
right here, this poet statement, right here. You do all
the dry cleaning. Your husband wants to wear a particular
shirt one day, but it's at the dry cleaner. You
told him to communicate with you more. Now his need
two shirts?

Speaker 2 (09:44):
That's all this is?

Speaker 3 (09:46):
See what is you in my bastion with rack funky
little shirt you're talking about when you just need another shirt,
and then he gonna tell you we ain't got no kids.
You ought to be able to go to the dry
cleaning more. We ain't got no kids. Y'all be buying
another shirt. See, you gotta get this stuff off you.
You keep letting them dump stuff on you with his
inadequate behind, now his shortcomings as a man. He's gotta

(10:11):
run to his mama with everything. He can't afford two shirts.
What y'allen to have a baby for? You know how
much stuff you got to buy for a baby.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
He can't even.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Afford another shirt, y'all arguing about stupid stuff. He want
a particular shirt and it's at the dry cleaning. You
just wanted shirt Monday, this Thursday. Everybody gonna see you
with that shirt on because you know you like it.
Because he's got the little bumble bee on the collar.
He got one Gucci shirt. Now he want everybody to

(10:40):
see he got it on. He told you not to
buy that shirt with the bumble bee on the neck anyway,
because everybody gonna know it's the same shirt. When you poe,
you can't get extravagant stuff. You gotta stay simple. Take
your down to Maces and get you white shirt and
you wear it many times you want you, Oh no,
you gonna go down there and get the Guti white
shirt with the bee on the college. Now, I guess

(11:01):
what everybody now, you got nicknamed cheeriolds. You know they
call it your stuff at work. You don't even know
nothing about cheerios. Why they call it? You know?

Speaker 2 (11:12):
You know Cheerio got the little b on it. You know,
Black people help slick stuff, and they do. His parents have.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Agreed with him on little issues like this, when the
underlying issue is they're mad because they want a grandchildren
and I'm not ready and I'm not having a baby
with a man that talks down to me and picks
fikes over petty bs. You, young lady, are absolutely one
hundred correct. Is your body, is your life, and is

(11:41):
your husband. When his mom talks to me crazy, I
tell her to watch her tone. He sides with her
cause you got tired of So Now, Shirley, you're gonna
be the mother and I'm gonna be the daughter, and
I'm gonna tell you how the ways you can have
this because you because this marriage ain't gonna make it
no way.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Baby. You know you're supposed to listen to your husband
and go get that shirt out the cleaners. Baby, Yes, baby.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
He the baby. Don't call me a baby. He the baby.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Well, it's a term of endearment, Honey, don't take offense
to it.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, yeah, honey, honey.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
If he had some money, we could have two shirts.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
Well, sweetye, it sounds like you have an attitude. What's
the problem.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
I got an attitude because I have married yo. Boy,
that's why I got it.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
Walk to.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
He is my baby. He is my baby, but he's
a grown man. He married you. He can't be.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
A baby and a grown man at same time.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Lady, you can call.

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Me mom, you call you sweetie. Now I'm not going
to call you mama. You're already too many mamas around here.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Now, what this attitude?

Speaker 2 (12:55):
I got a mama? Well, that's what the attitue two
it is.

Speaker 3 (13:00):
I got a mama and I left her to marry
my husband who is stuck up under his mama.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
You need to cut the apron strings in what you
need to do?

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Well, you know what I think the apron strings are cut.
You have your house. We have our house and we
cut along just fine. What's the problem.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Baby, Don't nobody like you like?

Speaker 1 (13:19):
You're mad a lot.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
We ain't getting along. We're about to get on. It's
what we're fin to do.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
And I'm not fit to have a grandchild with that
ragged boy you then made.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
My baby is just fine. You just gotta know how
to love them. Listen, we're out of time, Steve. Please
leave your comments on today's letter on Instagram at oh,
I know you guys to go, I'm surely now and
check out the Strubbery. You're staying in character. Check out
the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the

(13:52):
Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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