September 30, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, My husband and I decided early against having children. We have a great social life and our house is still the hangout spot for our friends. He's sixty one and I'm fifty nine, and we have made the marriage work for twenty seven years. Last year I found out he was cheating. His lover kept calling his phone over and over, so I told him to handle it. He told me that he handled it. I decided not to stress about it because there was nothing I could do to stop him from cheating, and I was not ready to leave him and be alone, so I didn't ask any questions. He did all he could to show me how remorseful he was for cheating, and I was just happy that our friends didn't find out, so I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress.........................................................
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com by
clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air. Just are going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephew. Subject why does my husband go out
without me? Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband and I decided
early against having children. We have a great social life
and our house is still the hangout spot for our friends.
He's sixty one and I'm fifty nine, and we have
made the marriage work for twenty seven years. Last year
(00:46):
I found out he was cheating. His lover kept calling
his phone over and over, so I told him to
handle it. He told me that he handled it. I
decided not to stress about it because there was nothing
I could do to stop him from cheating, and I
was not ready to leave him and be alone, so
I didn't ask any questions. He did all he could
(01:06):
to show me how remorseful he was for cheating, and
I was just happy that our friends didn't find out,
so I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress.
But my girlfriends knew about it all along and didn't
say a word until recently. We had a kickback at
the house and a group of my girls were there.
When my husband left to buy more ice. They cornered me.
(01:28):
One of my closest friends asked why my husband is
always going out without me. I asked why she was
asking me that in front of everyone, and I assured
her that my husband is always home. The other lady said,
they know for a fact that's not true. They told
me that my husband has been sleeping with the lady
that lives behind us for over a year, and he
(01:48):
gets away with it because I let him. They tried
to tell me about the woman, but I stopped them.
I really don't care about her. I'm more upset than
my friends now know what's up. I'm still not prepared
to leave my comfortable life with my husband, but I'm
concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have some
dignity and finally confront my husband, Well, I don't think
(02:13):
this is really about dignity at this point, because if
it was about dignity, you wouldn't be so okay with
your husband's cheating. I mean, you wouldn't be so worried
about what your girlfriends are saying. You would be more
concerned about what your husband is doing. He's cheating and
humiliating you, but you say you don't care, and you're
(02:34):
willing to stay in this marriage, cheating and all as
long as you say face with your friends, that's what's
important to you. So you've made your choice as far
as that's concerned, and the winner is your husband and
his cheating apparently, and your comfortable life with him. So
if that's what it is, why don't you stand on
that and let your nosy girlfriends know how you feel.
(02:58):
Tell them to stay out of your business because you
are staying with your husband and your nice, comfortable life
with your husband. But now, if it truly is dignity
you want and that you're concerned about, then stop listening
to your girlfriends, and yes, do confront your husband and
try to straighten this mess out.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Steve uh She said that her husband and I decided
early against having children. Okay, what that got to do
with any damn things. See just how I know now
that this lady Finna tell a story that's gonna be
a little off, because I kept waiting on this to
come into the letter and it never did. She opens
(03:40):
it with this Sheirley Stephen Shirley, my husband. I decided
early against having children. Okay, we have a great social
life and our house is still to hang out spot
for our friends. He's sixty one, I'm fifty nine. Okay,
We've had a mainly marriage work for twenty seven years.
(04:04):
Then she said, last year I found out he was
cheating because his lover kept calling his phone so I
over and over. So I told him to handle it.
He told me he handled it. I decided not to
stress about it because there was nothing I could do
to stop him from cheating, and I wasn't ready to
leave him and be alone. So I ain't asked no question. What?
(04:24):
What where his wife at? Who is this wife right here? What?
Let me read this again so you can understand the
depth of my concern. Last year I found out he
was cheating. His lover kept calling his phone over and over,
(04:45):
so I told him to handle it. He told me
he handled it. I decided not to stress it but
gout it about it because there was nothing I could
do to stop him from cheating, and I was not
ready to leave him and be alone. So I ain't
ask any questions. What what? What? What? Woman? What? Black woman? What? Woman?
(05:08):
Who do this? I'm concerned. I told him to handle it.
He told me he did that was it? Wait a minute,
if you get caught cheating, your wife tell you the
handle it? You say I did, and she ain't want
(05:30):
to ask you no more questions about it. Boy, if
that's how it went, do you know cheating would increase
by eighty seven percent. I wasn't ready to leave him
(05:51):
and be alone, so I ain't asked no questions. He
did all he could to show me how remorseful he
was for cheating. Why you ain't asking no questions? How
much he got the show? If you ain't asking me
no questions? What all did he do? I handle it?
I was just happy that our friends didn't find out?
(06:11):
What's your friends? See? This is where? Now? See this?
This is where you're more concerned about your image than reality.
I'm just happy my girlfriends but and so I didn't
have to deal with the embarrassment and stress, and my
girlfriends found out. Then she said, but my girlfriends knew
(06:33):
about it all along and didn't say a word until recently.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
When we come back, hang on, Steve, Yeah, we'll have
part two of your response Steve coming up in twenty
three minutes after today's Strawberry letter subject why does my
husband go out without me? We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Hard Morning Show. All right, Steve,
come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter subject why does
(06:57):
my husband go out without me?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You this letter was gonna be full of incomplete statements
when she said, Steven Shirley, my husband and I decided
early against having children. All that comes into play in
this letter nowhere. So this was to throw us off.
You know when a person makes a statement like that
is to throw you off. So you so you be
(07:20):
digging for that detail, so you don't ask for no
more detail. Because she good at not asking questions, so
she don't want us to ask none either, So she
tried to throw us off with these bread crumbs to
lead us down this Donnie buck path, Donnie brook path
about these and my husband and I decided not to
have children. They've been married twenty seven years. They got
(07:41):
a lot of friends and they Kyles is still to
hang out and I found out last year that he
was cheating on me because his lover kept calling his phone.
I told him to handle it. He told me he
handled it. So I decided not to stress about it
because there was nothing I could do to stop him
from cheating, and I was not ready to leave him
(08:01):
and be alone. So I ain't asked no questions. This
is the greatest woman I've ever met. This woman is
I just I don't know where she is. She's raped,
She's rare. She's like finding the world's biggest diamond at Costco,
(08:22):
a rare jewel. It's like I'm telling you, man, it's
like your chances of finding baby all at Costco, because
the CEO Costco came out and said they don't even
sell baby.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Or Bunny book right.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So I didn't want to leave him be alone, so
I ain't asked no questions. He did all he could
to show me how remorseful he was for cheating. I
was just happy that our friends didn't find out, so
I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress.
But my girlfriends knew about it all along, and it
ain't saying a word intes. Okay, this is how she
(08:59):
found out. We had a kick back at the house. Okay,
right there, that's old. That's hey, listen to me. Don't
nobody do that no more? Then it is out of style.
Call kids, that's what they called it. Kickback. That's what
they call oh they do. Oh okay, well I ain't
(09:20):
know that because it ain't. None of them living with
me no more, because I understand that kick back and
drink them all. You're gonna drink at my house you
have at your own house. Now, my kids when they
have it at their house now, they hide and lick
and everything something all right? Oh, they recently told me
that they had a kickback at your house and your
(09:42):
girls was there. Then my husband left to buy more ice,
they coined me. One of my closest friends asked me,
why is my husband always going out with me? I
asked her why. She asked me that in front of everybody,
and I assured her that my husband was always home.
Well that's two lives right there. You are sured that
your husband is always home. Hard to cheat. And then
(10:04):
they want to know why your husband always going home
without you. You know how hard it is to cheat
if you got to, if you trying to make you
stay in the car, you can't. Lady, why is your
husband always leaving without me? Cause you can't cheat? And
you in the car because y'all ain't gonna stay in
(10:25):
the car. Whose house is this? I'm just running in
my boy's house. I'm just gonna be here for three hours, man,
hedne fix me something to eat. I'm gonna go in
in here and eat and then I'm gonna take a shower,
and then I'll come back out and get you.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Please.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I told him my husband's always home. Then the other
lady said, they know for a fact that's not true.
They told me that my husband has been sleeping with
a lady that lives behind us. See that's really convenient
because you can. You can park your car in your driveway,
go in the garage, cut a hole in the back
of the garage, climb the fence, and you that because
(11:10):
I'm gonna have a hole in the back of this garage.
If she stayed right back there and for over a
year and he gets away with it because I let him.
They tried to tell me about the woman, but I
stopped him. I really don't care about her. I am
(11:32):
more upset than my friends. Know what's up. I'm still
not prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband.
But I'm concerned about how people perceive me. Should I
have some dignity? And finally, confront my husband. I have
an answer to all of these questions right here. I'm
more upset than my friends. Know what's up. I'm not
(11:54):
prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Now.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It's because listen to this, y'all. You prefer a lifestyle
over your style of life. Play on words. You prefer
a lifestyle over a style of life. You would rather
sit there and be sick to your stomach and act
(12:18):
like something ain't happening so you can have a few,
uh you know, you know, comforts of home. But I
am concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have
some dignity? And finally, here's how you get dignity. Tell
your girlfriends that you're cheating to girl, what that's a
(12:39):
whole no conversation, And then at the next kickback, invite
a dude over. Ain't nobody seen before me? I like
high male escort big strong, look a big strapping boy,
Today's four only one with a flat stomach at a
(13:00):
Whole Kickback.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
On Facebook and Steve Harvey FM. Also check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up
next Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
to The Dave Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot com by
clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air. Just are going to read this
one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on time.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephew. Subject why does my husband go out
without me? Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband and I decided
early against having children. We have a great social life
and our house is still the hangout spot for our friends.
He's sixty one and I'm fifty nine, and we have
made the marriage work for twenty seven years. Last year
(00:46):
I found out he was cheating. His lover kept calling
his phone over and over, so I told him to
handle it. He told me that he handled it. I
decided not to stress about it because there was nothing
I could do to stop him from cheating, and I
was not ready to leave him and be alone, so
I didn't ask any questions. He did all he could
(01:06):
to show me how remorseful he was for cheating, and
I was just happy that our friends didn't find out,
so I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress.
But my girlfriends knew about it all along and didn't
say a word until recently. We had a kickback at
the house and a group of my girls were there.
When my husband left to buy more ice. They cornered me.
(01:28):
One of my closest friends asked why my husband is
always going out without me. I asked why she was
asking me that in front of everyone, and I assured
her that my husband is always home. The other lady said,
they know for a fact that's not true. They told
me that my husband has been sleeping with the lady
that lives behind us for over a year, and he
(01:48):
gets away with it because I let him. They tried
to tell me about the woman, but I stopped them.
I really don't care about her. I'm more upset than
my friends now know what's up. I'm still not prepared
to leave my comfortable life with my husband, but I'm
concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have some
dignity and finally confront my husband, Well, I don't think
(02:13):
this is really about dignity at this point, because if
it was about dignity, you wouldn't be so okay with
your husband's cheating. I mean, you wouldn't be so worried
about what your girlfriends are saying. You would be more
concerned about what your husband is doing. He's cheating and
humiliating you, but you say you don't care, and you're
(02:34):
willing to stay in this marriage, cheating and all as
long as you say face with your friends, that's what's
important to you. So you've made your choice as far
as that's concerned, and the winner is your husband and
his cheating apparently, and your comfortable life with him. So
if that's what it is, why don't you stand on
that and let your nosy girlfriends know how you feel.
(02:58):
Tell them to stay out of your business because you
are staying with your husband and your nice, comfortable life
with your husband. But now, if it truly is dignity
you want and that you're concerned about, then stop listening
to your girlfriends, and yes, do confront your husband and
try to straighten this mess out.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Steve uh She said that her husband and I decided
early against having children. Okay, what that got to do
with any damn things. See just how I know now
that this lady Finna tell a story that's gonna be
a little off, because I kept waiting on this to
come into the letter and it never did. She opens
(03:40):
it with this Sheirley Stephen Shirley, my husband. I decided
early against having children. Okay, we have a great social
life and our house is still to hang out spot
for our friends. He's sixty one, I'm fifty nine. Okay,
We've had a mainly marriage work for twenty seven years.
(04:04):
Then she said, last year I found out he was
cheating because his lover kept calling his phone so I
over and over. So I told him to handle it.
He told me he handled it. I decided not to
stress about it because there was nothing I could do
to stop him from cheating, and I wasn't ready to
leave him and be alone. So I ain't asked no question. What?
(04:24):
What where his wife at? Who is this wife right here? What?
Let me read this again so you can understand the
depth of my concern. Last year I found out he
was cheating. His lover kept calling his phone over and over,
(04:45):
so I told him to handle it. He told me
he handled it. I decided not to stress it but
gout it about it because there was nothing I could
do to stop him from cheating, and I was not
ready to leave him and be alone. So I ain't
ask any questions. What what? What? What? Woman? What? Black woman? What? Woman?
(05:08):
Who do this? I'm concerned. I told him to handle it.
He told me he did that was it? Wait a minute,
if you get caught cheating, your wife tell you the
handle it? You say I did, and she ain't want
(05:30):
to ask you no more questions about it. Boy, if
that's how it went, do you know cheating would increase
by eighty seven percent. I wasn't ready to leave him
(05:51):
and be alone, so I ain't asked no questions. He
did all he could to show me how remorseful he
was for cheating. Why you ain't asking no questions? How
much he got the show? If you ain't asking me
no questions? What all did he do? I handle it?
I was just happy that our friends didn't find out?
(06:11):
What's your friends? See? This is where? Now? See this?
This is where you're more concerned about your image than reality.
I'm just happy my girlfriends but and so I didn't
have to deal with the embarrassment and stress, and my
girlfriends found out. Then she said, but my girlfriends knew
(06:33):
about it all along and didn't say a word until recently.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
When we come back, hang on, Steve, Yeah, we'll have
part two of your response Steve coming up in twenty
three minutes after today's Strawberry letter subject why does my
husband go out without me? We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Hard Morning Show. All right, Steve,
come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter subject why does
(06:57):
my husband go out without me?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You this letter was gonna be full of incomplete statements
when she said, Steven Shirley, my husband and I decided
early against having children. All that comes into play in
this letter nowhere. So this was to throw us off.
You know when a person makes a statement like that
is to throw you off. So you so you be
(07:20):
digging for that detail, so you don't ask for no
more detail. Because she good at not asking questions, so
she don't want us to ask none either, So she
tried to throw us off with these bread crumbs to
lead us down this Donnie buck path, Donnie brook path
about these and my husband and I decided not to
have children. They've been married twenty seven years. They got
(07:41):
a lot of friends and they Kyles is still to
hang out and I found out last year that he
was cheating on me because his lover kept calling his phone.
I told him to handle it. He told me he
handled it. So I decided not to stress about it
because there was nothing I could do to stop him
from cheating, and I was not ready to leave him
(08:01):
and be alone. So I ain't asked no questions. This
is the greatest woman I've ever met. This woman is
I just I don't know where she is. She's raped,
She's rare. She's like finding the world's biggest diamond at Costco,
(08:22):
a rare jewel. It's like I'm telling you, man, it's
like your chances of finding baby all at Costco, because
the CEO Costco came out and said they don't even
sell baby.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Or Bunny book right.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So I didn't want to leave him be alone, so
I ain't asked no questions. He did all he could
to show me how remorseful he was for cheating. I
was just happy that our friends didn't find out, so
I didn't have to deal with the embarrassment and stress.
But my girlfriends knew about it all along, and it
ain't saying a word intes. Okay, this is how she
(08:59):
found out. We had a kick back at the house. Okay,
right there, that's old. That's hey, listen to me. Don't
nobody do that no more? Then it is out of style.
Call kids, that's what they called it. Kickback. That's what
they call oh they do. Oh okay, well I ain't
(09:20):
know that because it ain't. None of them living with
me no more, because I understand that kick back and
drink them all. You're gonna drink at my house you
have at your own house. Now, my kids when they
have it at their house now, they hide and lick
and everything something all right? Oh, they recently told me
that they had a kickback at your house and your
(09:42):
girls was there. Then my husband left to buy more ice,
they coined me. One of my closest friends asked me,
why is my husband always going out with me? I
asked her why. She asked me that in front of everybody,
and I assured her that my husband was always home.
Well that's two lives right there. You are sured that
your husband is always home. Hard to cheat. And then
(10:04):
they want to know why your husband always going home
without you. You know how hard it is to cheat
if you got to, if you trying to make you
stay in the car, you can't. Lady, why is your
husband always leaving without me? Cause you can't cheat? And
you in the car because y'all ain't gonna stay in
(10:25):
the car. Whose house is this? I'm just running in
my boy's house. I'm just gonna be here for three hours, man,
hedne fix me something to eat. I'm gonna go in
in here and eat and then I'm gonna take a shower,
and then I'll come back out and get you.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Please.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I told him my husband's always home. Then the other
lady said, they know for a fact that's not true.
They told me that my husband has been sleeping with
a lady that lives behind us. See that's really convenient
because you can. You can park your car in your driveway,
go in the garage, cut a hole in the back
of the garage, climb the fence, and you that because
(11:10):
I'm gonna have a hole in the back of this garage.
If she stayed right back there and for over a
year and he gets away with it because I let him.
They tried to tell me about the woman, but I
stopped him. I really don't care about her. I am
(11:32):
more upset than my friends. Know what's up. I'm still
not prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband.
But I'm concerned about how people perceive me. Should I
have some dignity? And finally, confront my husband. I have
an answer to all of these questions right here. I'm
more upset than my friends. Know what's up. I'm not
(11:54):
prepared to leave my comfortable life with my husband.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Now.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It's because listen to this, y'all. You prefer a lifestyle
over your style of life. Play on words. You prefer
a lifestyle over a style of life. You would rather
sit there and be sick to your stomach and act
(12:18):
like something ain't happening so you can have a few,
uh you know, you know, comforts of home. But I
am concerned about how people perceive me. Should I have
some dignity? And finally, here's how you get dignity. Tell
your girlfriends that you're cheating to girl, what that's a
(12:39):
whole no conversation, And then at the next kickback, invite
a dude over. Ain't nobody seen before me? I like
high male escort big strong, look a big strapping boy,
Today's four only one with a flat stomach at a
(13:00):
Whole Kickback.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
On Facebook and Steve Harvey FM. Also check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up
next Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
to The Dave Harvey Morning Show
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.