June 15, 2026 • 17 mins
A listener is conflicted after she set aside money for her daughter's college. Her second husband is upset that she won't split the fund with her daughter and his son... Judge Keke weighs in!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
In order.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's a fresh show. It's Kiki's court, all right, the
honor is here. Judge Kiki, what say you? All right,
let's get in the courtroom.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
It says, hey, Ki key, am I wrong for refusing
to split my daughter's money with my stepson. I've been
saving for my daughter's college since the day she was born,
and thanks to her grandparents, over the years, the account
has grown to a really nice amount of money for college. However,
I married my second husband when she was ten years old,
(00:31):
and he also came into the marriage with the son
the same age as my daughter, And now that they're
both preparing to go to college, my husband believes that
we should split my daughter's college fund between the two
of them so that they can start adulthood on equal footing.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I refuse.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Every dollar in that account was saved specifically for my daughter,
years before I even met him. Now, my husband says,
I'm showing his son that I never truly considered him family.
And my stepson overheard this argument. It is hurt, feel bad,
but it's a no. Am I wrong? Why didn't Dad save?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Hello? Thank you? Sorry, judge Ki, I mean I hate
to bury the headline. I'm not trying to bury the
headline here, but like, why is it? Don't do that?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I mean, so you would not you would not share
with your steps on.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I want to be sure I'm clear on this. So
she saved for years and years and years for her
own child, prior to even knowing this man or the
child the step son even existed. Yes, okay, well then
what was he doing during that time to prepare for
his child's future? Exactly? I'm sorry, but like, that's not
how these works. You don't just after a couple of
(01:36):
years ago. Okay, that all that money that I saved
for my kid's future, Now we're splitting it in half
and now good. I'm sorry. It has nothing to do
with love. It has nothing to do with it. It's
your thing. Now, I'm all fired up about this. I
don't like it. That's true. You still forget them kids,
You're not them. I think the parents have response to
individual responsibility for their children when in blended families, and
(01:59):
this is't a matter of them saving together for years
and years and years and then giving it to one
This is her savings, she this is this should have
been ironed out ahead of time. This is nothing to
do with them, and it has nothing to do with love
or anything else. It's I saved for my kid's future.
That was my job. I did it. Here it is.
I'm sorry, but I don't have to. Maybe I can
help a little bit, but I don't have to split
(02:20):
this dead in half when I didn't even have any
of that in mind before then. There it is. I
agree with you on that.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I mean, I feel bad because they She's obviously known
this child and he's been a part of her life
since he was ten years old. That's when they got married,
so that's eight to ten. There are seven years ago
where you maybe could have said, hey, you know, I
do have a college one for my daughter. What do
you have in place for our son? It doesn't seem
like that conversation ever happened. But I think it's wrong
for the dad to just wake up today and assume, like, oh, well,
(02:50):
we must split this money for both of them because
they're both going to college. Like no, maybe you and
your ex wife should have thought of something when you
had a child.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Did he put any money into this account? Of assuming
he didn't?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It doesn't sound like it, but I can't be sure.
I mean, over they've been together for like eight years now, so.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I would think that would be an and key part
of the story where she would say, you know, hey,
he did contribute to this for the last eight years,
the one which case, then he should be entitled to
half of whatever he put in or all of what
whatever it is. But like, if he didn't put anything
in this, why all of a sudden is it you're
responsible for my kid's future too, when you've been planning
for this forever. I had eight five five five one
(03:28):
three five. You can call him text the same number.
I know it sounds, you know, hurtful, but you got
to be responsible for your kid in a blended situation,
like you can't expect someone else to do it for you,
Like why was this not something you thought about when
the kid was little? And you say incrementally, a little
(03:49):
bit at a time. Yeah, it's on him.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I mean, we agree on that, but I feel like
it can get tricky because you are a blended family
and you should consider his son your son, and you know,
ten years ago, maybe you guys should have come up
with the plan for both of the kids, but that
didn't happen clearly, and now we're facing this, So I
feel bad for the son, especially that he heard this argument.
And you know, I never want a child to feel
(04:15):
left out of anything. So if I was stepmom, I
would I don't know what I would do. Actually, I
would try to help him out, but like I can't
give you my daughter's fun like that her grandparents have
helped put.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It's the thing people have contributed to this with her
in mind. Yeah, who maybe had nothing to do with
this other you know, with the way that the family
has sort of evolved. I guess this lady could have said, hey, look,
you know, I'm saving every month for so and so's college.
What are you doing? Something like should we be thinking
about that? Maybe she assumed that he did. Maybe he did,
(04:50):
but it's not as much. I don't know, But like,
this is not this isn't necessarily reflection on the love
she has for her stepchild when she had a plan
for her own kid and that's her responsibility. And that
plan started way before this family evolved into what it is,
and it involves other people's money that that were earmarked
(05:11):
for their family, you know, and I know I know
it sounds mean, but hey, Sophie, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
We're good for you.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
We love you so much.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Well, thank you, Sophie. So what do you think? So
basically this this this woman and her husband are fighting
over a college fund that was intended for her kid
when there's no money saved for her step son. And
and now the step son hears and he's heard, and
then the dad husband's like, well wait a minute, I
want half of that. Well that that wasn't intended for you.
(05:44):
What do you think?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Well, I know this is Kiky's court and not stay
or go, but I still think she should leave that
bomb and his entitled son because agree, this is personal,
like he had all that time, and he can't expect
that that she would pitch in like all this money
when you had all this time users and sports red
(06:06):
flag you know, he said have been singing that up
if it really was his priority, but he because he
got lazy about it. I don't think he should have
put it all on me on his life. That's not
fair to her.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Well, and I also think that when you get into
a relationship or you get married in this case, I
have to think that you sit down responsibly and say, okay,
here's how much I make. Here, so much you make?
What are you going to pay for? What am I
going to pay for? And part of that conversation should
probably have been, hey, I've set aside this much money
for her, what are we doing for him? What are
you doing for him? But it seems like he never
(06:35):
even thought about that, And now all of a sudden,
it's well, you're a bad person for not giving me
half of yours. It's like, no, but you should have
been thinking about that on your own, right, Like that's
you should have had a plan before that had nothing
to do with her, because well, it's your child. And yes,
I realized that they're sharing that responsibility in some ways
(06:55):
because you know, hopefully step kids aren't viewed as as
less then or secondary. But like when it comes to
the money, that probably should have been something that he
should have brought up or should have been discussed if
he had any expectation of it being a joint commitment. Right, Yeah, he.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Shouldn't have procrastinated. He left us also last minute, so
he should come up with the money, so they didn't
talk about it earlier.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, thank you, thank you, Sophie. I'm glad you called.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Gray, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Eight five five three five high back you good morning.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Hi, good morning, and oh.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Man, this is a tricky one, but at the same time,
it's not right. What do you think, No, it's definitely.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Not a tricky one. First, I want to say I
love you guys. I listened to you every day, even
in the summer.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
You understand the assignment. Okay, listen, we make a commitment
to each other, all right, it's it's we're here for
you know. We don't take the summers off just because
the teachers and whomever else just choose not to wake
up in the morning anyway.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
Exactly, I have to get work every day, so do you, guys.
I'm the teachers teacher for all of us.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You guys have earned the right that those of you
to sleep in. But then that doesn't mean you can't
listen to the podcasts later on the iHeartRadio app. It's
freeing easy to use guaranteed human search for the friend show.
Go ahead, I'm sorry, tell me what you think exactly.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
No, yeah, so definitely she's in saving for her daughter
all of this time. If it was important for him,
he would have been saving for his son or like
that should have been a conversation that they had when
they got together. Of hey, let's put some extra aside
and say for both of them, But as it is, no,
that's her daughter's money.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
The fact that he didn't even know that this account
existed means that this was never a conversation that they
had now, because if he knew it existed, then he
might have said, Okay, well I need to contribute to
this so that or I need to have one of
my own. But that was never discussed, obviously, which also
makes me think their finances must be separate. Yeah, and
(08:50):
if that's because if she's putting money away and he's
unaware of it, then it's not as though she's taking
community funds and earmarking them for one kid and not
the other. Right exactly, So he did know about this,
and now he's all, wait, there's money there, give me
half of that. And the fact that the kid feels
bad about this, I hate that, right, because it's the
(09:10):
kid's fault. It's the dad's responsibility. Krusty daddy, thank you, Becky,
have a good day to hold on somebody disagree with me.
Then he hung up. No, I was, I was, Mike
hung up. I don't know where you went, Mike, right,
(09:31):
you know, you know I'll take the dissenting opinions and
I'll just tell you that you're wrong. It's fine. I
don't know what happened to Mike though. Let me see here.
Oh hell no, those funds do not need to be split.
The funds were there before. Yes see. That's my other
thing is we got other family members involved who didn't
know Aaron Hiring, good morning, good morning, Hey, thanks for calling.
(09:55):
Doing great. This happened to you.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
This is something that happened to me. Actually, okay, so okay,
So my parents have been a more since I was four,
and my mom put away money for me and my
older sister and.
Speaker 7 (10:14):
Also my dad, and then my uh stepmom came into
the picture, and she's wonderful, but she also like they
had to put a money money for them, but they
didn't have the money as much as they did when
I was younger because of whatever circumstances. And so that
(10:37):
was one thing that they had talked about, was splitting
up the money between all of us because I have
four sisters.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
So yeah, that's hard. That's that's hard. I'm sorry that
happened to thank you. Have a good day. Thanks. That's
stuff because you don't want you don't want the kids
to because I mean, look, I was part of a
situation where I was I had step brothers, and I
guess I have stepsisters. Now, I don't know. You'd have
(11:07):
to ask somebody else, But there's always an effort to
make everybody feel equal. But then in this particular case,
you're talking about something that wasn't intended for everybody, right,
So this should be a conversation that never should have
taken place. The kids should never have known about this,
because the kids are not This isn't having to do
(11:27):
with them, you know what I mean. So the kids,
I feel bad for the step son who now feels
less than and who maybe isn't old enough to understand
how this all worked right and how it does work
and how this isn't personal. But hey, your dad should
have been doing that. You guys should have been handling this.
Hey Taylor, heay, what's up? Hey, good morning? This happened
to you two, it happened to me. Yeah, sure, explain please?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
All right, So stepdad and my mom got together. Me
and my stepmother were the same age, and so I
was really good, really good academically, loved school.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Just like you know.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Three point nine GPA in high school, I had a
bunch of I had a bunch of college offers. My
mom properly planned step that did not properly plan, which
is totally fine. It happens. And my stepfather wanted to
go to college, but he didn't have any money, and
so I forfeited my my fible was it five oh
one she plan? Whatever that is. I forfeited my plan
(12:27):
to him, and then I end up getting scholarships and so,
you know, it all kind of worked out. And eventually, honestly,
whenever I need some cash and so for whatever reason,
right investment stuff, He's always there for me.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So it really kind of worked out.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Even though our parents are no longer together, we're very
close and as a family, you make things work. So
there's definitely a solution here, whether it's hey, we'll forfwit
the first semester, see how you do. If you do
well in college, then we'll continue to kind of figure
that out and have a lot of scholarships and you know,
line up and play. But there's over millions of dollars scholarships,
(13:02):
you know what any of these students can get. So
I'll always say, she how the first semester goes. If
they excel in college, they can excel getting a scholarship. Well,
you don't forfeit all the money, and Taye, I'm glad
it worked out for you.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
But in this case, you know you you were able
to earn your tuition to be paid for such that
the money. You didn't need the money. But had you
needed the money, I think it probably should have been
yours to take first, and there should have been no
obligation that it'd be given to anyone else. Now, I
think it would have been one thing if you got
a full ride scholarship and then you kept the cash
and prevented someone else's blessing. But you didn't do that,
(13:35):
so it worked out. But in this case, let's assume
there is no scholarship money. That's kind of not on her.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, no, it kind of is. Though as a parent,
as a parent, you want to do well for your children,
even though you're a step mom or a stepdad. The
biggest thing you can do is provide your children with
a good setup for their future. And when it comes
to these kind of plans, it isn't about just like
again you can say, hey, look we're not giving up
(14:02):
half the money for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
You can send someone to.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
College for a semester for a year and see how
it goes, and you could earn scholarships along the way.
This isn't a you know, a make one decision and
it's all said or done. And so as the parents,
what I was suggesting to do is say, hey, look again,
we're not gonna I'm not gonna give you half of this,
but what I will do is see how your child
does or our child, our child does as a first
(14:25):
semester or that first year, right, and then from there
you can get SCHOLARSI leaders, there are a thousand ways
to get paid to the student. When once you're in.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
The door, Why isn't on that Dad should be focused
on that? Dad should be Why doesn't Dad take out
the loan? Then? Like why? I guess I just don't
know why this why we're focused in on the money
that's in hand, when when I don't necessarily think anyone's
entitled to that or entitled to have to give it
away except for the people who saved it and who
(14:52):
it's and who it's supposed to be for, you know,
I mean, like Dad needs to take some responsibility here.
I didn't save, So now I'm gonna I should take
the hit on this. And she did prepare and I
don't know where I was for this, but like maybe
that's a separate conversation. Is Hey, if we have future
goals in this relationship and we're splitting things and we
need to be more aligned with you know, contributing equally
(15:13):
to that, not oh wait, I forgot give me half
of someone else's.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yeah, I guess the difference is now. And now we're
talking about who owns what in a relationship, and it's
a marriage, obviously I assume yes, So you know, now
it's like, all right, well is a dad or who's
funding you? Who's panking the morgage of the house, who's
panking the car notes, who's taking care of the camps?
Speaker 5 (15:32):
All this stuff kind of.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Comes an equation and the dad is taking care of
a lot of that and saying, hey, well, look, you
know I'm paying for this, so therefore I would like
something for that. That's totally okay in a relationship, but
it should not be all or nothing. There are other
solutions that are non binary. And for people to talk
about divorced all this crap, they haven't been married. They
don't know what a relationship takes and obviously how the
effect that has some kids, or we're talking about kids' future.
(15:55):
I will do whatever it takes. I will cross any
road for any kid that I have in my possession.
Speaker 6 (16:00):
Day.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Look at you. Good for you, Taylor. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Man.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Have a good day. Yes, good, look a look at Taylor.
He made some really good points. It is a good point.
If the dude is paying for everything and all she's
been doing is saving for college. If one percent of
her salary is going to college tuition and he's paying
for one hundred percent of everything else, then maybe in
that case you could say, well, at least some of
(16:24):
that probably should be split, maybe not all of it,
but for the last seven years, you haven't paid one
single bill and so now I need your help with this.
That's one thing. But if everything, I gotta think everything
is separate. Otherwise he'd know about this account. He would
have known about it before.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Well.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
I don't know if everything is separate, but I do
think that they She should hold some responsibility to her
steps on's future as well.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
That comes with parenting.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
So you may not give him your daughter's money, but
you probably will be signing alone with your husband to
help him get through college as well.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
So yeah, and I think just one more This is
the kind of stuff that has to be discussed. Yeah,
in relationships, right, like you, you got to sit down
from the very beginning so that the expectations are set,
you know, for this. If this was something that he
didn't even know about, and it appears it's like, oh, look,
pile of money over here, half of that's mine. Not
how that works. So the fact that he didn't even
(17:15):
know is a little bit strang
In order.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It's a fresh show. It's Kiki's court, all right, the
honor is here. Judge Kiki, what say you? All right,
let's get in the courtroom.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
It says, hey, Ki key, am I wrong for refusing
to split my daughter's money with my stepson. I've been
saving for my daughter's college since the day she was born,
and thanks to her grandparents, over the years, the account
has grown to a really nice amount of money for college. However,
I married my second husband when she was ten years old,
(00:31):
and he also came into the marriage with the son
the same age as my daughter, And now that they're
both preparing to go to college, my husband believes that
we should split my daughter's college fund between the two
of them so that they can start adulthood on equal footing.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I refuse.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Every dollar in that account was saved specifically for my daughter,
years before I even met him. Now, my husband says,
I'm showing his son that I never truly considered him family.
And my stepson overheard this argument. It is hurt, feel bad,
but it's a no. Am I wrong? Why didn't Dad save?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Hello? Thank you? Sorry, judge Ki, I mean I hate
to bury the headline. I'm not trying to bury the
headline here, but like, why is it? Don't do that?
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I mean, so you would not you would not share
with your steps on.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I want to be sure I'm clear on this. So
she saved for years and years and years for her
own child, prior to even knowing this man or the
child the step son even existed. Yes, okay, well then
what was he doing during that time to prepare for
his child's future? Exactly? I'm sorry, but like, that's not
how these works. You don't just after a couple of
(01:36):
years ago. Okay, that all that money that I saved
for my kid's future, Now we're splitting it in half
and now good. I'm sorry. It has nothing to do
with love. It has nothing to do with it. It's
your thing. Now, I'm all fired up about this. I
don't like it. That's true. You still forget them kids,
You're not them. I think the parents have response to
individual responsibility for their children when in blended families, and
(01:59):
this is't a matter of them saving together for years
and years and years and then giving it to one
This is her savings, she this is this should have
been ironed out ahead of time. This is nothing to
do with them, and it has nothing to do with love
or anything else. It's I saved for my kid's future.
That was my job. I did it. Here it is.
I'm sorry, but I don't have to. Maybe I can
help a little bit, but I don't have to split
(02:20):
this dead in half when I didn't even have any
of that in mind before then. There it is. I
agree with you on that.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I mean, I feel bad because they She's obviously known
this child and he's been a part of her life
since he was ten years old. That's when they got married,
so that's eight to ten. There are seven years ago
where you maybe could have said, hey, you know, I
do have a college one for my daughter. What do
you have in place for our son? It doesn't seem
like that conversation ever happened. But I think it's wrong
for the dad to just wake up today and assume, like, oh, well,
(02:50):
we must split this money for both of them because
they're both going to college. Like no, maybe you and
your ex wife should have thought of something when you
had a child.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Did he put any money into this account? Of assuming
he didn't?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It doesn't sound like it, but I can't be sure.
I mean, over they've been together for like eight years now, so.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I would think that would be an and key part
of the story where she would say, you know, hey,
he did contribute to this for the last eight years,
the one which case, then he should be entitled to
half of whatever he put in or all of what
whatever it is. But like, if he didn't put anything
in this, why all of a sudden is it you're
responsible for my kid's future too, when you've been planning
for this forever. I had eight five five five one
(03:28):
three five. You can call him text the same number.
I know it sounds, you know, hurtful, but you got
to be responsible for your kid in a blended situation,
like you can't expect someone else to do it for you,
Like why was this not something you thought about when
the kid was little? And you say incrementally, a little
(03:49):
bit at a time. Yeah, it's on him.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
I mean, we agree on that, but I feel like
it can get tricky because you are a blended family
and you should consider his son your son, and you know,
ten years ago, maybe you guys should have come up
with the plan for both of the kids, but that
didn't happen clearly, and now we're facing this, So I
feel bad for the son, especially that he heard this argument.
And you know, I never want a child to feel
(04:15):
left out of anything. So if I was stepmom, I
would I don't know what I would do. Actually, I
would try to help him out, but like I can't
give you my daughter's fun like that her grandparents have
helped put.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It's the thing people have contributed to this with her
in mind. Yeah, who maybe had nothing to do with
this other you know, with the way that the family
has sort of evolved. I guess this lady could have said, hey, look,
you know, I'm saving every month for so and so's college.
What are you doing? Something like should we be thinking
about that? Maybe she assumed that he did. Maybe he did,
(04:50):
but it's not as much. I don't know, But like,
this is not this isn't necessarily reflection on the love
she has for her stepchild when she had a plan
for her own kid and that's her responsibility. And that
plan started way before this family evolved into what it is,
and it involves other people's money that that were earmarked
(05:11):
for their family, you know, and I know I know
it sounds mean, but hey, Sophie, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
We're good for you.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
We love you so much.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Well, thank you, Sophie. So what do you think? So
basically this this this woman and her husband are fighting
over a college fund that was intended for her kid
when there's no money saved for her step son. And
and now the step son hears and he's heard, and
then the dad husband's like, well wait a minute, I
want half of that. Well that that wasn't intended for you.
(05:44):
What do you think?
Speaker 4 (05:46):
Well, I know this is Kiky's court and not stay
or go, but I still think she should leave that
bomb and his entitled son because agree, this is personal,
like he had all that time, and he can't expect
that that she would pitch in like all this money
when you had all this time users and sports red
(06:06):
flag you know, he said have been singing that up
if it really was his priority, but he because he
got lazy about it. I don't think he should have
put it all on me on his life. That's not
fair to her.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Well, and I also think that when you get into
a relationship or you get married in this case, I
have to think that you sit down responsibly and say, okay,
here's how much I make. Here, so much you make?
What are you going to pay for? What am I
going to pay for? And part of that conversation should
probably have been, hey, I've set aside this much money
for her, what are we doing for him? What are
you doing for him? But it seems like he never
(06:35):
even thought about that, And now all of a sudden,
it's well, you're a bad person for not giving me
half of yours. It's like, no, but you should have
been thinking about that on your own, right, Like that's
you should have had a plan before that had nothing
to do with her, because well, it's your child. And yes,
I realized that they're sharing that responsibility in some ways
(06:55):
because you know, hopefully step kids aren't viewed as as
less then or secondary. But like when it comes to
the money, that probably should have been something that he
should have brought up or should have been discussed if
he had any expectation of it being a joint commitment. Right, Yeah, he.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Shouldn't have procrastinated. He left us also last minute, so
he should come up with the money, so they didn't
talk about it earlier.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Yeah, thank you, thank you, Sophie. I'm glad you called.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Gray, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Eight five five three five high back you good morning.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
Hi, good morning, and oh.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Man, this is a tricky one, but at the same time,
it's not right. What do you think, No, it's definitely.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Not a tricky one. First, I want to say I
love you guys. I listened to you every day, even
in the summer.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
You understand the assignment. Okay, listen, we make a commitment
to each other, all right, it's it's we're here for
you know. We don't take the summers off just because
the teachers and whomever else just choose not to wake
up in the morning anyway.
Speaker 5 (07:52):
Exactly, I have to get work every day, so do you, guys.
I'm the teachers teacher for all of us.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You guys have earned the right that those of you
to sleep in. But then that doesn't mean you can't
listen to the podcasts later on the iHeartRadio app. It's
freeing easy to use guaranteed human search for the friend show.
Go ahead, I'm sorry, tell me what you think exactly.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
No, yeah, so definitely she's in saving for her daughter
all of this time. If it was important for him,
he would have been saving for his son or like
that should have been a conversation that they had when
they got together. Of hey, let's put some extra aside
and say for both of them, But as it is, no,
that's her daughter's money.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
The fact that he didn't even know that this account
existed means that this was never a conversation that they
had now, because if he knew it existed, then he
might have said, Okay, well I need to contribute to
this so that or I need to have one of
my own. But that was never discussed, obviously, which also
makes me think their finances must be separate. Yeah, and
(08:50):
if that's because if she's putting money away and he's
unaware of it, then it's not as though she's taking
community funds and earmarking them for one kid and not
the other. Right exactly, So he did know about this,
and now he's all, wait, there's money there, give me
half of that. And the fact that the kid feels
bad about this, I hate that, right, because it's the
(09:10):
kid's fault. It's the dad's responsibility. Krusty daddy, thank you, Becky,
have a good day to hold on somebody disagree with me.
Then he hung up. No, I was, I was, Mike
hung up. I don't know where you went, Mike, right,
(09:31):
you know, you know I'll take the dissenting opinions and
I'll just tell you that you're wrong. It's fine. I
don't know what happened to Mike though. Let me see here.
Oh hell no, those funds do not need to be split.
The funds were there before. Yes see. That's my other
thing is we got other family members involved who didn't
know Aaron Hiring, good morning, good morning, Hey, thanks for calling.
(09:55):
Doing great. This happened to you.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
This is something that happened to me. Actually, okay, so okay,
So my parents have been a more since I was four,
and my mom put away money for me and my
older sister and.
Speaker 7 (10:14):
Also my dad, and then my uh stepmom came into
the picture, and she's wonderful, but she also like they
had to put a money money for them, but they
didn't have the money as much as they did when
I was younger because of whatever circumstances. And so that
(10:37):
was one thing that they had talked about, was splitting
up the money between all of us because I have
four sisters.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
So yeah, that's hard. That's that's hard. I'm sorry that
happened to thank you. Have a good day. Thanks. That's
stuff because you don't want you don't want the kids
to because I mean, look, I was part of a
situation where I was I had step brothers, and I
guess I have stepsisters. Now, I don't know. You'd have
(11:07):
to ask somebody else, But there's always an effort to
make everybody feel equal. But then in this particular case,
you're talking about something that wasn't intended for everybody, right,
So this should be a conversation that never should have
taken place. The kids should never have known about this,
because the kids are not This isn't having to do
(11:27):
with them, you know what I mean. So the kids,
I feel bad for the step son who now feels
less than and who maybe isn't old enough to understand
how this all worked right and how it does work
and how this isn't personal. But hey, your dad should
have been doing that. You guys should have been handling this.
Hey Taylor, heay, what's up? Hey, good morning? This happened
to you two, it happened to me. Yeah, sure, explain please?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
All right, So stepdad and my mom got together. Me
and my stepmother were the same age, and so I
was really good, really good academically, loved school.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Just like you know.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Three point nine GPA in high school, I had a
bunch of I had a bunch of college offers. My
mom properly planned step that did not properly plan, which
is totally fine. It happens. And my stepfather wanted to
go to college, but he didn't have any money, and
so I forfeited my my fible was it five oh
one she plan? Whatever that is. I forfeited my plan
(12:27):
to him, and then I end up getting scholarships and so,
you know, it all kind of worked out. And eventually, honestly,
whenever I need some cash and so for whatever reason,
right investment stuff, He's always there for me.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So it really kind of worked out.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Even though our parents are no longer together, we're very
close and as a family, you make things work. So
there's definitely a solution here, whether it's hey, we'll forfwit
the first semester, see how you do. If you do
well in college, then we'll continue to kind of figure
that out and have a lot of scholarships and you know,
line up and play. But there's over millions of dollars scholarships,
(13:02):
you know what any of these students can get. So
I'll always say, she how the first semester goes. If
they excel in college, they can excel getting a scholarship. Well,
you don't forfeit all the money, and Taye, I'm glad
it worked out for you.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
But in this case, you know you you were able
to earn your tuition to be paid for such that
the money. You didn't need the money. But had you
needed the money, I think it probably should have been
yours to take first, and there should have been no
obligation that it'd be given to anyone else. Now, I
think it would have been one thing if you got
a full ride scholarship and then you kept the cash
and prevented someone else's blessing. But you didn't do that,
(13:35):
so it worked out. But in this case, let's assume
there is no scholarship money. That's kind of not on her.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, no, it kind of is. Though as a parent,
as a parent, you want to do well for your children,
even though you're a step mom or a stepdad. The
biggest thing you can do is provide your children with
a good setup for their future. And when it comes
to these kind of plans, it isn't about just like
again you can say, hey, look we're not giving up
(14:02):
half the money for whatever reason.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
You can send someone to.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
College for a semester for a year and see how
it goes, and you could earn scholarships along the way.
This isn't a you know, a make one decision and
it's all said or done. And so as the parents,
what I was suggesting to do is say, hey, look again,
we're not gonna I'm not gonna give you half of this,
but what I will do is see how your child
does or our child, our child does as a first
(14:25):
semester or that first year, right, and then from there
you can get SCHOLARSI leaders, there are a thousand ways
to get paid to the student. When once you're in.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
The door, Why isn't on that Dad should be focused
on that? Dad should be Why doesn't Dad take out
the loan? Then? Like why? I guess I just don't
know why this why we're focused in on the money
that's in hand, when when I don't necessarily think anyone's
entitled to that or entitled to have to give it
away except for the people who saved it and who
(14:52):
it's and who it's supposed to be for, you know,
I mean, like Dad needs to take some responsibility here.
I didn't save, So now I'm gonna I should take
the hit on this. And she did prepare and I
don't know where I was for this, but like maybe
that's a separate conversation. Is Hey, if we have future
goals in this relationship and we're splitting things and we
need to be more aligned with you know, contributing equally
(15:13):
to that, not oh wait, I forgot give me half
of someone else's.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Yeah, I guess the difference is now. And now we're
talking about who owns what in a relationship, and it's
a marriage, obviously I assume yes, So you know, now
it's like, all right, well is a dad or who's
funding you? Who's panking the morgage of the house, who's
panking the car notes, who's taking care of the camps?
Speaker 5 (15:32):
All this stuff kind of.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Comes an equation and the dad is taking care of
a lot of that and saying, hey, well, look, you
know I'm paying for this, so therefore I would like
something for that. That's totally okay in a relationship, but
it should not be all or nothing. There are other
solutions that are non binary. And for people to talk
about divorced all this crap, they haven't been married. They
don't know what a relationship takes and obviously how the
effect that has some kids, or we're talking about kids' future.
(15:55):
I will do whatever it takes. I will cross any
road for any kid that I have in my possession.
Speaker 6 (16:00):
Day.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Look at you. Good for you, Taylor. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Man.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Have a good day. Yes, good, look a look at Taylor.
He made some really good points. It is a good point.
If the dude is paying for everything and all she's
been doing is saving for college. If one percent of
her salary is going to college tuition and he's paying
for one hundred percent of everything else, then maybe in
that case you could say, well, at least some of
(16:24):
that probably should be split, maybe not all of it,
but for the last seven years, you haven't paid one
single bill and so now I need your help with this.
That's one thing. But if everything, I gotta think everything
is separate. Otherwise he'd know about this account. He would
have known about it before.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Well.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
I don't know if everything is separate, but I do
think that they She should hold some responsibility to her
steps on's future as well.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
That comes with parenting.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
So you may not give him your daughter's money, but
you probably will be signing alone with your husband to
help him get through college as well.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
So yeah, and I think just one more This is
the kind of stuff that has to be discussed. Yeah,
in relationships, right, like you, you got to sit down
from the very beginning so that the expectations are set,
you know, for this. If this was something that he
didn't even know about, and it appears it's like, oh, look,
pile of money over here, half of that's mine. Not
how that works. So the fact that he didn't even
(17:15):
know is a little bit strang
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