Are You Packin Based On Your Smile?

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, guys, I need to talk to the girls

(00:01):
and the Gaze about this guy. I'd like to know
if the information that I have found online and I
have the part in question, okay, but I need to
know more So hit the intro, Paulina, HiT's the tangent
giving you all this shit we couldn't talk about on
the air.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
So, social media users on platforms like TikTok and x
are claiming that there is a specific type of confident
sly smile, which is being referred to as the hung
smile that signals if a dude is particularly well endowed.
The smile typically involves a smirk or a grin, where

(00:42):
the corners of the mouth rise only slightly, with an
air of confidence rather than overt happiness. So apparently guys
like Hugh Jackman have this The hung smile. Experts caution
that this is purely anecdotal and there is no scientific
evidence linking. I guess they asked a bunch of experts.
I don't know who the experts are, but they asked

(01:03):
a bunch of people who have big dick to assume
big dicks like, Hey, what about his smile?

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Is it lenked?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
And Apparently there is no scientific evidence linking the smiles
style to endowment size. A sexual health surgeon mentioned a
small Japanese study that found the correlation between nose length
and penile length, but emphasize that this has serious limitations
and does not support the idea of reading much more

(01:28):
from facial expressions. Jason, does a dude smile correlate to
his dick size?

Speaker 2 (01:35):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Not.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
In my experience, I don't really notice smiles. I do, however,
notice hands. I do find a correlation that if you
have larger hands, more specifically larger middle fingers, then it
will correlate to them.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Okay, so in your experience that is a that is
a sign large large hands means larger we wi Yes, Okay,
what about like because I gotta feel like maybe it
can be misleading, But have you ever is there like
a swagger or a swag that one hundred percent of
the time matches up with dick size? Because certainly if

(02:10):
you've got it, then you're going to have that swagger.
So sure I've seen it. I'm saying I haven't seen it.
But you might say, well, a guy had swag and
he had a big dick, But then my other thing
is you've probably seen guys who act like they have
swag or have swag and don't have a big dick
little one.

Speaker 5 (02:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
No, I have not seen any correlation between swag and size.
I've been with people that had swag and are small
and vice versa.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Okay, guys, for you, is there any sort of telltale
sign that this dude's gonna be packing pack and heat?

Speaker 2 (02:42):
For sure?

Speaker 5 (02:45):
I do believe that there is an air or a
swag that I feel like I can tell. I don't
think it's I don't think it's trying too hard. I
feel like it's a silent confidence. And I feel like
I can tell if you're doing too much Like no,
I have been.

Speaker 6 (03:03):
I should, I'm trying to be nice.

Speaker 5 (03:05):
I've been shocked at the size based on someone's body
before real big guy like whoa, yeah, whoa.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
But so he was real big and then he was
real big. No, he was real big.

Speaker 5 (03:20):
It was like he was really big always in the gym,
and but he did not have that like silent swag.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
He was kinda see but that's like artificial. He made
himself bigger, he pumped himself up. He was tall, you know,
But does that mean, do you think he was doing
that to compensate? Do you think he knew he had
a little dick and he made himself like maybe, because
that's not going to help you dick look bigger. If
you make the rest of your body look bigger and
your dick states the same size, that's a problem.

Speaker 6 (03:45):
No.

Speaker 5 (03:46):
No, I'm trying to be kind because I know y'all
can't choose the size. But no, I do feel I
can tell I have a sixth sense. I do, and
I've been right every time.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
You're right every time.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Okay, because I feel like there are probably people listening
now who are like I would have thought, and then
and then no.

Speaker 5 (04:02):
Well you know what I say about I would have thought.
I think that everybody. This is my other theory. How
you present yourself in the world. You are the exact
opposite in the bedroom.

Speaker 6 (04:11):
I really believe that.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah, I would, I would agree with that.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Okay, yeah, but Kiki, like you are you demure?

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Well no, no, no, no, no no no.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
I'm using your logic because and I'm giving you other logic.
But I'm giving you but you just said you agreed,
so I'm giving you props. What I'm saying is is
you you are really out there in the world, like
you really put yourself out there. You're like you're a
dominant presence. No, no, no, but I don't think you're demure.
My guess would be you don't just lay there in bad.

Speaker 5 (04:40):
No, No, I don't mean lay there. I mean that
I would say, now, can I give my theory a stop?

Speaker 2 (04:46):
At Starfish?

Speaker 5 (04:47):
I think that that would mean that in bad big
Tim is in control. I don't think big Tim is
in control.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Control not necessarily mannerism.

Speaker 5 (04:55):
I'm not talking about lay there versus lay there. I
feel like submissive verse dominant is what I'm talking about.

Speaker 6 (05:00):
So so all the.

Speaker 5 (05:02):
I think a lot of women that are dominant in
the world are submissive in bed.

Speaker 6 (05:07):
I think vice versa.

Speaker 5 (05:08):
I think my boy Jason, I think he's tearing that
shit up.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes, like that, because you are you definitely like command,
you know the way you want things, and you get
shipped done in the world.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
But do you feel like But I.

Speaker 4 (05:23):
Think I also like, if you were to just meet me,
you would probably think that I was a bottom.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, I have no but see I think the opposite
Caitlin of Jason, Like, I think he's out here tearing
it up in the real world.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
So I guess, based on your theory, would be the opposite.

Speaker 5 (05:36):
It's you're yeah, I mean you're picking like certain parts
of I just think he's like, I'll do whatever you
guys want, or like he's easy going. I don't feel
like he's like, of course he's good at his job.
That's not what I'm talking about. I just don't think
anyone would think he is a top meeting him, Like.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
I don't think I give top energy. No, I've definitely
more than I've bottomed in life, But he's a top.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, but aren't you here to complicate the theory even further,
aren't you topping because because that's what your man wants
you to do? Like like if you love you love
Mike the mechanic, if he wanted to top, would you
let him top?

Speaker 5 (06:10):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah? So that's so it's I don't know this theory
has holes.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
Right, because if I look at like what I like
more like I like topping more than I like bottoming.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
So I would have thought you were a bottom. And
that's not an insult. I just would have thought that.
But I think you would be a bottom if the
dude as kind of. So it does go back to
this agreeable nature of yours.

Speaker 4 (06:31):
Yeah, but if it was my choice, I would pick
being a top over a bottom. If it was like
clean slate, I could just choose to have whatever I want,
I would rather top them bottom.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Okay, now here's the question. If a guy has the
energy that you're looking for, Like, if he has the
swag and he has the any you know, I don't know,
the smile and the whatever, and then you take his
pants off. You got a little dick. Can the swag
and the energy that attracted you to get the pants
off to begin with? Can that make up like you
didn't have the tools? But then can that energy translate

(07:01):
into something that that still turns you on and still
gets the job done? Or he's got the swag who
doesn't have the tool? Sorry, it doesn't match.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
I think for me, it is what you do it
with the little piece you got, like you got to
figure out, you gotta figure out.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Don't look at me when the little piece you got, like,
don't don't look at me when you say that you
know nothing about me. Okay, you don't know, you don't
know if I got little piece, big piece, you don't
know I got average piece.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
I see your middle finger what Jason saying.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Because I'm constantly flipping.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
So I'm not talking about you, but I think it's
about what you do with it. Like, don't have a
little piece, Indian, don't know what to do with it.
You gotta work that thing. You gotta figure it out
that yes, and use other parts.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Of your body.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Okay, so long term, if a dude has a little dick,
like I mean, but I mean this because Okay, like
I know that most women.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I just saw that.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
I just listened to this whole podcast about this most
and some of this I knew, and I know some
of it's generalizing, and like anything else I say, someone
listening now is going not me.

Speaker 6 (08:02):
Okay, but I'm talking about them for a minute.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
But I'm talking in the guys. I'm talking in general terms.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
I know that everything I say there is an exception
to and I'm not here to call that out.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
I'm just saying in general terms.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Women tend to be more stimulated from an exterior standpoint
of you all loo vaginas than in his here you
so dudes are in here pounding it because that feels
good to us. But most women, some Look, I've dated
people that come from penetration, and that's what they like
most women, it's more effective externally primarily or just barely internally,

(08:39):
certainly not trying to deep dick the chick, you know
what I mean? Like like dudes think that's what's working.

Speaker 6 (08:43):
Correct?

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Where was I going with this? There was a point
to what I would, oh.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
So so, But but I want to, like over the
course of an entire lifetime relationship, like if you marry someone,
you're with him forever.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Would that suffice?

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Like if the dude can can get you with his
tongue and his finger, but he's got a little, tiny,
little peepee, can can you deal with that for the
rest of your life?

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Or do?

Speaker 1 (09:05):
Or I mean people do because not everybody is like
hung but my but my thing is, you know, is
that something that you can like can you really truly
make that sacrifice forever? Or let's say the guy's got
a big dick and that feels pretty good, but he's
not good at the other stuff?

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Can you deal with that for the rest of you?

Speaker 6 (09:23):
I don't know, but say I'd rather not have that.

Speaker 3 (09:25):
Right, I rather a small dick and we get some
toys and everything.

Speaker 6 (09:27):
Else right, figure it out?

Speaker 5 (09:29):
Yeah, okay, I have I have encountered a really small
moment that was very shocking, and I was there and
I was like, all right.

Speaker 6 (09:35):
Well, yeah, what do you do with this? So cause
I was like, I was like, what am I going
to do?

Speaker 5 (09:41):
And then I thought, you know what, this will be
easier to do certain things, and so I just tried
to find the positive in it. I did a little
something you know that was and it was much easier. Okay,
And we didn't see each other, I don't think again, but.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
You know of like one of the like and it's
I guess I want to encounter this everyone life. But
I'm always scared of like those micro the ones that
they say the people have, Like what are you.

Speaker 6 (10:08):
Supposed to do with it?

Speaker 5 (10:09):
Like?

Speaker 6 (10:09):
I ticle it?

Speaker 1 (10:11):
Right? Is it in? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (10:14):
I know, like, oh what do you have you ever seen?

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Counter words? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (10:20):
What did you do with it?

Speaker 6 (10:22):
He rubbed it right?

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (10:26):
You try to You tried your best, like the mouthfit,
I guess.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Yeah, you try your best. Yeah, I mean, now what
is it like? Honestly, can you like with your fingers
make for me, like, what is the smallest stick you've
ever seen?

Speaker 2 (10:41):
Hard?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Because I know that like soft and hard can can
really vacillate. Like I am definitely like.

Speaker 6 (10:47):
That hard, yes rock card.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yes, like this she's about two inches.

Speaker 6 (10:52):
It was he was tall, he was built. It was
a good look.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
Oh boy, yeah, because I don't know how impressive I
am just in the static state. But I think it
gets okay, you know when we're when we're ready to go.
It's a it's a growing situation, which I think is
how you grow. But I don't know. I don't know
what to compare it to you because I really haven't
stared at a bunch of dicks. But like I think
I'm a grower. But but I also don't I think
that's what you'd want to be, because I don't. I
wouldn't want that thing. Just like if if I had

(11:20):
an eight inch dick. It's all the time and I'm
walking around with that, like I don't know how you like.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
How do you work out? Like how do you walk?

Speaker 3 (11:27):
You know?

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Right, Like I needed to sort of retract.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
I needed to sort of like, you know, go back
in a little bit so that I can operate, you know,
my life. And then but then when I need the weapon,
then the weapon arrives like that's that's I think what
you want? Like right, it is stressful to walk around
with weapons like Jason and I have.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
It really is. I don't know how I do.

Speaker 6 (11:45):
It's like Goldilocks.

Speaker 7 (11:46):
Like you guys are like talking about like the small dick,
the big dick, and the perfect dick in the middle.

Speaker 6 (11:50):
Like yeah, just right, Like oh my god, any thoughts?

Speaker 7 (11:55):
Oh my I stressed is listening to those conversations on
my thoughts? Is you know every dick needs love so
whatever side, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
I would never be a day.

Speaker 6 (12:05):
Of my life.

Speaker 7 (12:05):
But again that has mean they don't deserve love, you know,
So I hope they find it.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Wow, I really do.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
It's nice so you won't touch a small dick, but
I hope that you know there are people out there
that are cool with a small dick.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Is there anything that's a human being? If it's thank you,
that's so nice of you.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
If it's just an amazing human it's got everything you need,
everything you the person is everything you want.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
But they got a little dick you have.

Speaker 6 (12:28):
I mean, like it's not great. You have to not
hold that.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
I have a perfect example. I wanted to get this
is way back way way way back in my single
hoe days. But there was a guy that I wanted
to get with so so so bad for so long,
and then I finally did and it was very small
but and he was toxic, but I still went back
just because I had built it up in my head
like I wanted to be with this guy so bad

(12:54):
that I ended up going back multiple times.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Why do we do these things?

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Right? Like?

Speaker 3 (13:00):
Yeah, you ever have a delusion like you have just made?

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Well? That was like, I mean that was as you
basically just stated, that was all Yeah, that was all psychological.
What key he's getting at? I'm sorry interrupted you, but
that it's all psychological like that that was you just
need that you were fulfilling something else there, some validation
or some sort of I don't.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Know what was going on.

Speaker 6 (13:20):
You ever met a smelly one?

Speaker 1 (13:22):
A smelly dick? There's such a thing as a smelly dick.
How do you get a smelly dick? It's an external organ.

Speaker 6 (13:30):
I don't wash your.

Speaker 5 (13:31):
Ass, Like sometimes there's and it's sometimes there's just a
scent and it doesn't that it's not necessarily bad or good,
but it's like that's the scent.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Us.

Speaker 6 (13:41):
What are your doctor.

Speaker 2 (13:41):
Now I'm concerned if I have a smelly dick. I
didn't know it.

Speaker 5 (13:45):
For my theory, I think like you tracked, like if
you weren't open about what you liked in the bedroom, Like.

Speaker 6 (13:49):
You are a go getter, you've always like your career.

Speaker 5 (13:52):
Like I just feel like you're strong and and you're
mighty yeah, like I'm.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
A fucking dead fish. Thank you, No, thank you, guys.

Speaker 6 (14:03):
Hey, it's not much.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
How much most of what you said, thank you.

Speaker 5 (14:06):
I'm saying in the bedroom you're a giver like you'd
rather and like you're not selfish in the bedroom, and
you are like prioritizing the woman to get off. That's
like I think that that's opposite than what you give
in life, Like you know, yo, I got my own show.

Speaker 6 (14:20):
But then in the bedroom, you're like, let me take
care of you mom.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Well for what it's worth. I want you guys all
to get off non sexually.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
I do.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
I want you all to get off too. So so
I do translate some of it, well, I want you
to get up second, but I'm not going to be
the one to do it. But like when you know, so, yeah,
you're right, I got my own show. But like I
do want y'all to I want you guys. I try
and be unselfish about uh about you guys at work too.
But you're right, of course, you're right. You gotta you gotta,
you gotta come in here with a little bit of it.

(14:48):
Morning guys get a bad at it. A lot of
morning guys are shitty people, let's face it, a lot
of and this is true in most industries.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
But you kind of have to have some.

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Swa And it took me a long time to figure
this out, but you kind of got it. But the
people that are like, oh, Fred's got an ego, what
you're really seeing is that I'm shy or I didn't
fucking hear you. It's one of two things. I'm either
shy or you're literally spoken to it at one of
my ears.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
That does not work. So that's a difference.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
But yes, I have an ego because what I figured
out is if you don't buy my bullshit, then no
one's gonna buy my bullshit. Like if I want you
to pay for it, if I want you to listen
to it, if I want you to think I got something,
then I got to sell it to you first. Because
if I'm just no, No, I just want to be a
nice guy and I want everyone to like me and whatever.
That's not nobody. No, I'm sorry. No one gravitates towards.

Speaker 6 (15:36):
That we all have an ego. But what you should
have confidence?

Speaker 5 (15:39):
Like, I think everyone should have confidence, especially when I'm
saying you're a go getter, You've always chased this career
and I just feel like in the bedroom you're a giver,
you know, So you say.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Well, I think people would tell you that. I think
people would tell you a lot of bad things about
me too, but I think they would tell you that
I at least do try and make them come. That's
I used to. It's it's honestly at this point, like
I we may. I just I don't even know if
it works anymore, is it, Dusty, It's been a minute.
I have not had sex in ten months. I think
I've said this multiple times to cry for help. No,
I just haven't. It's just I don't know. I don't

(16:09):
know what happened. I desired though, or is it just
like I don't don't have any desire. It said that
the desire doesn't match a lot of what goes into
eatn't it? Yeah, I don't know, and I guess I'm
just sort of tired of you know. Maybe I think
it's that I think drive is definitely not what it
was when I was twenty five or thirty, that's true.
But still I still have drive. Everything still works, I

(16:32):
still want it. I just think and maybe after all
these years of dating and I think being a normal
guy and doing normal things that everybody else does, I've
gotten kind of a bad rap. It's like I'm a
bad guy for being the same as every other guy
on these dating apps and every other guy out here dating.
I'm not doing anything anyone else isn't doing. In fact,
I think I'm tamer than a lot of those people.
But yeah, I think I've gotten a bit of a

(16:52):
reputation for being some kind of a fucking player. And
it's like, none off, it's worth it anymore. It's just
not worth it. I'm I'm I'm honest, I tell the truth.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
I'm not doing anything a lot of other single guys
I know are doing, and a lot of those guys
are are are not being honest and don't have integrity
about it. But yet I think it's fun to talk
about my dating life because I have a little bit
of a profile versus you talking about some random guy
and then no one knows who they're talking about.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
But the whole thing is just I'm.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Just spoiled on the whole thing, Like I just don't
it's just not worth the exposure anymore.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
So you really don't have the energy for the BS.
That's not along with the casual dating scene. No, are
you being with yourself? Oh yeah, oh okay, I might.
That's good to myself. Don't you worry about that?

Speaker 1 (17:35):
I honestly, and I said this before, I think part
of my problem is that I probably should stop doing
myself because then I might realize that I need you know,
I don't need someone else for it, but I might
emphasize more of the connection because I can't satisfy myself
as well. But it's like, dude, if I'm just ready
to go, I just do it. I handle it, and
then there's an aspect of my life where I don't

(17:58):
need someone else to fulfill me, and that's that's good.
But at the same time, I don't know. I guess
I'm not a guy who who has to have the connection.
Like I don't require someone else in my life to
like complete any part of me, which would include the sex.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
I feel like people that really crave connection physical connection,
the sex enhances that I don't really crave physical connections.
So the sex I could take or leave. I would
like it, and I would like to have the connection,
but I tend to have not great connections more often
than not, so I it's my life is simpler if
I don't if I don't emphasize that, if I don't

(18:42):
do it.

Speaker 5 (18:42):
Is there one person that comes to mind, Like you
don't have to say obviously, but if I say, like
the best connection you ever had with someone? Like, is
there a person where you felt that connection?

Speaker 1 (18:51):
Most of the people I think who I have the
best connection with say this because some of them I've
had sexual attraction to. But I also think sometimes the
sex is what complicates the connection. So I tend to
just in those situations, I tend to almost friend zone

(19:11):
those people because it's like, well, I value you as
a person.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
Now.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
What tends to happen, though, is in that at some point,
whether I maybe initially I wanted to date them, they
didn't want to date me. But what tends to happen
and this isn't like me bragging, this is just my
life experience. Is the people I have these great connections with,
but but we wind up sort of keeping the sex
out of it. At some point they want to date
and then I and depending on the length of the connection,
it's almost like we've we've we've crossed that bridge, we've

(19:36):
gone past it. Like it's like, now I'm going to
lose the friendship if the romantic part of this fuck's up.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
So I just don't.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
I just don't want to, and then typically that ends
the friendship too, which then it feels shitty because it's like, oh,
I get it, so so the timing was never right,
but then now you're not getting your way, so now
we can't even be friends. Like it happened to me
a year ago. There's a girl I've known for a
long time. We went back and forth on the I
wanted to date her and she kind of maybe we

(20:03):
met initially romantically, and then we just kind of became
friends and dabbled, and then all of a sudden, about
a year ago, she decides she wants all in. She's like,
I'm in love with you. I want to be with you.
Sent me this four page letter. I'm ready, we're doing
it now. And I was not at that time in
my life in a place to do that, and I

(20:26):
wasn't prepared for that, and I certainly wasn't ready to
go zero to one hundred. And I was very clear
about that, like, look, I want to navigate this carefully
because I value you, I care about you. You are
somebody I could be with and maybe there's a path here,
but like, I'm not ready right now. I got out
of something else. I was in a bad thing. Your
life wasn't going great, you know, personally and whatever, so like,

(20:47):
can you just can we tiptoe through this?

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Nope.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
I haven't talked to her in a year, and I'm
sure her story is that I rejected her, but I didn't.
I was simply saying to her, like you want it
right now, I'm not ready. We can maybe get there,
but I'm being transparent with you. If I go all
in right now, it will fail. And I haven't heard
from her.

Speaker 5 (21:05):
Since that's such about how do you feel about it now?
Like is it something you'd be in.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
I'm a little angry with her, actually, because I thought
I think it's a selfish and shitty thing to do,
and I realized she probably thinks it was extremely vulnerable.
And as much as I respect what she did, that's
not how life works. You don't get to just decide
now I want it with another human being, And if
you don't do it right now the way I want it,
then you no longer have value to me. I can't

(21:30):
be friends with you, I can't have you in my life.
I think that's I think that's shitty to do to someone,
and I think that's what she did to me, because
it's like, look, I've known you for twenty years, Like
we've gone back and forth about this, and I'm glad
that you finally came to a place that I've been
to at various times. But when you weren't ready for me,
I didn't stop being your friend. And so the timing's off,

(21:53):
and the timing's off for the right reason, because again,
like she caught me at a bad time, and so
I you know, I communicated that to her, like, look,
this isn't this is not this isn't a healthy time
for me to start, but like let's let's babystep this
and see what happens now.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
Now.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
To her, that was rejection and that was the end
of it because I didn't give her what she wanted
right then.

Speaker 6 (22:15):
So you were like, I'm open, let's take it slow though,
and she I'm.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Like, I need to process this, like I need to
process what you're doing, Like like this is this is
something that at various points in the twenty years I've
known you, I would like to have heard. But we're
just not aligned right now. And it's not because I
don't value you. It's timing. And I really tried to
navigate it carefully because I didn't because I did. I
did respect the vulnerability. It's it had to have been

(22:40):
very difficult to write this letter after all these years
and send it to me. But it wasn't even like
we talked every day. And the funny thing is I
was going to be where she was. I texted her, Hey,
do you want to do this thing with me? I
hadn't gotten the letter yet. She had sent the letter
and didn't realize oh no, and so she's like, okay.

Speaker 6 (23:02):
Like you're just ignoring the light.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
But she didn't realize. And so then literally this is
how it happened. Literally, I'm like, you want to come
to this thing with me, I'll be there next week,
and she's like, yeah, okay, she must have been just
agonizing because in my mailbox was this letter and I
hadn't written. And then the next day I go read it.
I'm like, oh fuck, Like she must she must have
thought I read it, and to your point, I didn't
acknowledge it. And so then I was like, hey, I

(23:23):
read your letter, and she's like, well, do you want
to uninvite me to the thing, And I'm like no,
I don't. But like, this is more complicated than than
just being like, okay, right, I'm all in, and I
don't know, you know, maybe maybe you watch Hallmark movies
and you hear stories about how people they can't get

(23:44):
it together, and then all of a sudden, they do
and they connect and they never disconnected. It's a wonderful thing,
and hey, more power to them. But her timing was
bad and that's not her fault. But we weren't really
in context, so like she didn't know what you had.
She didn't know that I was, you know, sort of
healing for something else, and then it was just bad timing.
Give me three, four, five, six months, be cool. But

(24:07):
I will say there is a personality trade of hers.
That tends to be the reason I think one of
the reasons why. I mean, look, I'm avoidant, which is
the reason why I'm not in a relationship. But I
think that she tends to be a kind of a
person who like, when she wants it, it needs to happen.
This is the way it needs to be. And I've
noticed that over the years, and like, I don't respond
well to that.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
I don't respond well to like you need.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
And I don't mean like like we're in a relationship
and we have I have to give some times, and
you have to give sometimes, and there's a deficit.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
I mean, like.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
I just can't my emotions. It's hard enough for me
to connect. My emotions are not such that you can
command me to connect. And if you can, I promise
you it will fail. And so I don't know. I
think she's probably very hurt and very angry with me,
And I think that's really unfair because it's not a
lack of interest, not a lack of love or care
or value. It's just, boy, you caught me with a

(24:59):
stray and like, I need a minute with that. But
I wasn't ready right then, So I haven't talked to
her in private a year.

Speaker 5 (25:07):
What was her reasoning when you were ready and she wasn't.

Speaker 6 (25:11):
Was she in a relationship or because.

Speaker 5 (25:13):
You said there was a time where you were you
wanted to date and she was, like you said, you
both did it to each other.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think we met a very long time ago. We
dated briefly. I was in my mid to late twenties,
and I was really not in a place where I
was I valued her and liked her, but like there
was too much coming at me and too much opportunity,
and I didn't I couldn't fuck.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
I didn't know my ass from a hole in the wall.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
I didn't know anything, so so so it didn't work.
And I think that hurt her very deeply. And so
I think there over the years, like as maybe I
came back to it, maybe she was reflecting on that,
you know, like I, and that's all fair. I also
think there's some stuff that has nothing to do with
me that she's been working on, and I have a

(25:58):
feeling that it took a lot of therapy and a
lot of time and a lot of effort to bring
up to get to the point where she could write
the letter. Look, I respect everything about the letter but
you cannot just write a letter and send it and
then it's okay, good, good, and so now we're doing
it right. It's just not how life works, unfortunately. Like
timing is everything.

Speaker 6 (26:16):
She wanted to manage your reaction, and then when.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
I didn't give her exactly what she wanted when she
wanted it, that was rejection, I.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Presume.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
And now we don't even have a friendship, which again
it's like, and I don't I'm not a victim. I
don't mean to make myself a victim, but it's like, hey,
we've been through this a number of times, and like
I put myself out there and you weren't there, and
I didn't go anywhere. I was still here. I didn't
like it, but like I still valued you as a person.
You put yourself out there. It's not that I didn't
want what you were saying. It's that I wasn't equipped

(26:47):
for it at the time. And yet now I don't know.
But here's what it is.

Speaker 6 (26:51):
I hate losing friendships that way.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Like we talked about dick size and we got to
not deep with it. Confession letter confessions.

Speaker 6 (26:58):
Do you think you'd be a toper about.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Oh, I'd be a top.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
I think I think i'd be a top because I
think there's a vulnerability that comes with bottom that I
don't have. I think, I honestly like. I think it's
it's more about, like, I don't know. I don't know
that I'm willing to like let anybody in physically or emotionally,
which is I don't know.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
It's kind of sad.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
I think a lot of what people perceive as ego
or arrogance or player or whatever they think, and whatever
they've said about me, I think what you're really talking
about is my lack of vulnerability and my lack of
ability to connect, which I understand why that's frustrating, But
I think people have associated negative bad things about my

(27:44):
character with my inability to psychologically connect, which is something
that I've been working on for a decade and it's
maybe getting a little better. But I think that's been
hard because, let's face it, some of my some of
my shenanigans have been simply uh, just that just being
a player. But a lot of it is more like
I get to a point where I just feel paralyzed

(28:05):
and I don't know, I don't know how to take
it further. I don't know what, so I avoid and
I think people perceive that as oh, you must be
fucking some other chick, or like he's just an asshole
or he only used me or whatever, and it's like,
it's none of that. It's none of that. It's simply
like I get to a point pretty quickly where I
don't know what.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
To do anymore.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
That's super honest, and it's too bad because because again
I think, I think people have judged my character based
on that and on that weakness. It's a weakness, it's
a deficit, it's a it's not a good thing.

Speaker 6 (28:34):
You're just very stoic too. I feel like, so sometimes
you're hard to read.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
But I that's frustrating.

Speaker 6 (28:40):
Wish that I had more of that.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
That's frustrating because it's like, I think, when you're the
way that I am, than I expect people to default to, Well,
I can't read him, but ninety percent of the time
I know him to be a good, fair, honest, decent person.
So I'm going to go with that, Oh yeah, when
I can't read it. But what I find is that
people that can't read me, they tended to lean into
the ten percent of he's being a dick, he's being

(29:03):
an asshole. He is an asshole because I don't commune
because most people don't aren't like me. Most people are
very communicative and open and whatever. So because I'm not,
now I'm an asshole because I don't I'm not congruent
with the way that you do things. And it's like,
but what what what if? What if I'm just shy
and don't talk that much and don't know how to

(29:25):
communicate all my feelings all the time and tend to
be noncombatic, Like what if it has nothing to do
with you? That's really I find it's really hard for
people interpersonally. It's hard to not make it about themselves.

Speaker 6 (29:35):
Oh yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
Then they make it about themselves and they build up
this story about the other person, but really is projection.
It has more to do with what's going on inside
of them. So sometimes you know, you say you wish
you were more stoic. Sometimes I wish that the communication
were just more organic for me because it would take
some of that off the table, because I do have
a difficult time connecting with people who are the opposite

(29:56):
of me, because they want what they give and when
they don't get it back, then they just go to
this place where it's that person's not I'm not good
enough for them, or I must have some sort of
problem with them or ulterior motive, or I'm a bad
guy or an asshole or whatever. It's like, No, no,
I just don't. I don't use my words.

Speaker 5 (30:17):
I actually think that in my experience, majority of people
are conflict of voiders. I feel like it's very hard
to find people that are willing to like talk things
through and communicate, so I wouldn't be so hard on
I think it's really common.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Something the conflict avoidance is. I want fair communication. Sure,
I want fair and reasonable communication. And I understand when
emotion is involved. I'm able to separate emotion to have
fair and most people they're not. And that's fair. That's you,
that's me. But like I just I want to talk
about what's actually happening, not not the way that because

(30:51):
you know, you know how hard this is for me,
But like you can feel however you want. But what
I find is that people who argue from a feeling
standpoint are not owning their own feelings. It's you said
hello to me in the wrong way. It made me
feel like you think I'm a fucking slut bitch.

Speaker 6 (31:06):
You have to speak from the eye.

Speaker 5 (31:07):
My mom always taught me that speak from the eye,
never point the finger during an argument.

Speaker 6 (31:11):
So it's not you did this, it's like.

Speaker 5 (31:13):
Hey, when you did this, and this may be my
own thing, but it kind of felt like whatever. And
then it's it's not pointing the finger. You cannot someone
of doing something because it made you feel a certain way.
So speak from the eye.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, Because it's like if I made you feel like
a slut bitch by saying good morning the wrong way. Well,
but so I can understand why I'm constantly calling it
was I was reckoned adjacent.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
He is a bitch.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
I'm a bitch bitch.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
But like I find myself now, I'm having to figure
out how to dig my way out of the feeling
that you have for the thing I didn't do and
didn't say and never meant. And it's like, wait a minute,
So I I somehow have to navigate the way you
feel before we ever get to the to the actual issue,
if there even was one.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
But I never said that, or meant that or did that.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
No, so wait a minute, why am I apologizing for
you feeling like a slut bitch, and I don't think that.

Speaker 5 (32:01):
It could be like, hey, what did you mean when
you call me a slut bitch? You know, hey, what
was the vibe that you were trying to And then
you could be like I was just calling you a
slapt bitch like every other morning, and I'd be like, okay.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
Cool, No, every day we call ourselves slipt bitches. I
had this problem with someone, and you know the person,
a couple of years ago, where we had a conversation
and I did not say any of that.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
I was frustrated.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
With with It was another romantic sort of thing where
the timing was never quite right, and then the timing
wasn't right there, and I was frustrated with the why.
And then about two or three weeks later, the narrative
became you you called me a whore, and I'm like, oh,
I absolutely did not, Yes, you did. That's how I
felt when we left that conversation, and I was like,

(32:42):
I'm like the words whore, I've only I'm only called
one person. I've called one person a whore in my life,
and I to this day I regret using the word.
I even had to call my mom and apologize to
my mom, like, mom, I called someone a horror and
when my mom said she is a whore and I said, yeah,
well okay, she said, you're off the hook for that
one because that's a word I don't use. But my

(33:03):
thing was I didn't say that, and it's like, yeah,
you did, and we're not friends anymore. And my thing
and again not a victim. It was a tense conversation,
but my thing to her is we were friends for
like five years. There's no part of you that can
look at the ninety nine Let's say.

Speaker 6 (33:17):
Yeah, I did that data that you know about.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Let's say I.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Did call her. I didn't, but let's say I did.
Let's say in a terrible moment, I'm having this problem
with another person. It's like you that one moment, that
one moment you didn't like. Now that's the entire friendship
is hinging on that one moment. What about the ten
years before, what about the five years before? You know,
I might not allowed to fuck up. And I'll be

(33:41):
honest with you. In a lot of my friendships, I've
found I'm not allowed to fuck up. They can fuck
up all they want. I fuck up one time, and
I'm out, and that to me is so demoralizing because
it's like, no, I'm a human being, I have feelings,
and I've said stupid shit. I didn't do it there,
But are you really unwilling to look at the other
five years of our friendship and be like, he's never
made me feel that way before. So let's work through it,

(34:03):
let's talk about it, or let's let me just own
my part in this. And maybe I'm sensitive to that
topic and I interpreted it the wrong way. No, No,
it's you said that. That's how I felt. You're a
motherfucker for that, and we're not friends anymore. And it's like,
but I didn't say it, and even if I made
you feel that way, and it is the rest of
the tenure of our friendship not worth saving over a

(34:25):
bad conversation. No, the answer is no. The answer is
you crossed me, you made me feel a certain way,
and you'll pay until I feel like you shouldn't anymore.
And it's like I just can't agree to those terms.
I cannot agree to Yeah, I said it when I
didn't say it, or this is how you made me
feel when I don't think that you know, it's like

(34:46):
a power thing. It's like, so you're in my head
now too, so you know what I think because I
don't think that. So I'm telling you I don't think that.
So if you can't take that at phase value and
be like, all right, well this is how I felt.
But I guess I misunderstood and we'll get over it. No,
it's judge jury, We're done.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
And I don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
I tend to have I have a few friendships like
that where it's it just seems to be on their
terms and they're not friendships anymore.

Speaker 5 (35:11):
And it's very simple, do you want to work on
the relationship or not right, and if you do, you
show signs of that, Like and I was talking to
Pauline and Jesson, like I have people in my life.
My mom always says, sorry to keep quoting her, she's
a psychologist, but someone needs to give you. She always says,
three to six months of consistency. You know, you need
to be able to have like a consistent person.

Speaker 6 (35:30):
Whatever.

Speaker 5 (35:31):
But I take people that I have that data from
and I put them in a category to where no
matter what they say or do, I give them the
benefit of the doubt, Like if you know, if Pauline
has said something that rubbed me the wrong way. At
this point, I'm like, listen, she loves me, she wants
the best for me. Like, I'm just letting that shit go.
I'm not even gonna waste my breath. So once you're
in that category for me, it's like I know you,

(35:51):
I know your intentions, and it's a do I want
to waste my time bringing this up or do I
want to let it go? And if I do bring
it up, I know she's gonna go hey, like I
hear you.

Speaker 6 (36:00):
You know she's great, We'll have a conversation.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
So I've known most of you in the room for
a decade. In the course of a tenure friendship, there
is absolutely no way that I will not do something
or say something that will rub you the wrong way.
I think what you have to ask yourself is what
is the body of the friendship? What is the body
of work here? Generally it's been good. Generally, this is
a person who cares about me and has done nice
thing of it. No, And I just I don't think

(36:25):
very many people think that way, because I feel like
people think some people are only concerned about the terms.
By the way, some of these people who have judged me,
have hurt my feelings too, but we were still friends,
so I'm expected to give you the benefit of the
doubt and do the thing that you're not willing to
do for me.

Speaker 6 (36:41):
That's not a good relationship for you.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
And that's even if I did fuck up, and I
have one of these situations. I fucked up, But it's
like you're not willing to look at anything I've done
for you. You're not willing to look at anything else because
you feel upset right now at what I said to you.
And what, by the way, what if someone what I
said was true? I could have said it differently, but
I'm willing to say I fucked up, and you don't

(37:04):
want to be my friend anymore for one thing?

Speaker 5 (37:07):
Right, And we all have our own triggers, so we
can't other people can't know that, like what's going to
trigger us? So it's like, wait a minute, do I
think that they woke up and plan to hurt me?
Or do I think they said something like because they
just said something or they didn't mean it the way
I perceived it, you know, And I.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Think for some people it's easier just to be the
victim all the time.

Speaker 6 (37:25):
People are comfortable in that.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
But yet they expect I don't know, and it's hard
not to and I've said this in my therapists a
million times, it's hard not to look in the mirror.
But I know a number of there've been a number
of people who have come in and out of my
life in the last ten years twenty years who I'm
always wrong and they're always a victim, and nothing they
do seem we're not keeping score. Like when you're an asshole,
we don't keep score. But when I'm an asshole, oh,

(37:47):
by god, you're going to pay for that. And it's like,
but that's not how this works, Like it's a two
way street. Like you can't be the victim and the antagonist,
and like you're not a perfect person either.

Speaker 5 (37:58):
Sometimes you get screwed for being a good because like
if you have a friend that's always fucking up, like oh,
that's I have one of those, Like oh, that's just her,
that's how she is. But then if I fuck up,
it's like there's this huge spotlights on it because I
don't usually do that, and I'm like, wait a minute,
Like you know I didn't mean to do this.

Speaker 6 (38:12):
Give me a little grace here.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
And that's what I appreciated about this room is we
spend more time with each other than anybody else, and
like it's a stressful environment and it's a hard business,
and everyone doesn't always get their way, and most of
the things that come at us, we don't We have
no control over. We don't really have control over the ratings,
we don't really have control over we have no control
over management, we have no control over the industry, and

(38:35):
the fact that people are being fired all over the place,
none of that. But yet, you know, and some days
you're better than others. But I think at the end
of the day that people on this show tend to
like weigh the bigger picture, which is like, hey, everyone
in here cares about each other as doing the best
they can, and like, you know whatever, and it's not
I'm gonna let that thing go or that thing go,
because it would be very easy with the number of

(38:57):
topics that we cover and the amount of time we
spend together, and the fact that sometimes we all agree
on something, so someone's taking a side just to be
an antagonist for the argument, because it would be boring
if we agreed with everything and we're not taking that
personally because it would be a miserable place to work
if if Jason says something and I take the other
side simply because it's that makes it more interesting.

Speaker 2 (39:18):
And then we get off the air and it's like,
fuck you man, like.

Speaker 5 (39:22):
What we do.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
It's no, it's just it's just like it's it's real
and it's genuine. But like sometimes it's fun to poke.
Sometimes it's fun to just say, you know, Keiki says
something and I'm like that, and I just take the
other side just because like how boring would this fucking
should be if if I it's like, yep, all right, cool,
I agree, here's fucking.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Here's here's kids bob.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Anyway, all right, well we cover we went from dick
size to to uh equity and friendships and and all
that good stuff. So yeah, well we should have saved
all this for the Tangent Live because we just did
forty five minutes. Boom, oh yeah, you're five. Box would
have been excellent. It would have been an excellent juice
of your five dollars. How much was it?

Speaker 2 (40:04):
Was it five thirteen?

Speaker 4 (40:05):
It was thirteen after like texas something.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
We're well, I well, we appreciate that, and so for
the Tangent listeners and hopefully many of you. All of
you have tickets to our Tangent lie which sold out
in a Northwest Indiana on Friday. We'll look forward to
seeing you there. Look at that. We did our job
another week, two episodes, as promised is.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
It doesn't always happen, but here you go.

Speaker 1 (40:26):
Thanks for listening, and catch up on all the other
stuff from The Fred Show on the iHeartRadio app or
wherever you listen to podcasts. Search Fred Show on demand YouTube.
It's the Fred Show all the other places Fred Show.
Ah bye,