February 2, 2026 • 28 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, let's do a tangent. Guys, you ready, everybody,
all right, hit the intro P. It's the tangent giving
you all this shit we couldn't talk about on the air.
I want to know if you guys have and this
(00:20):
is I need like full and total honesty and transparency
from you here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What when don't we give that?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well? I think you do. But you know this is
a little bit under the cover of darkness because it's
the tangent, and not everybody knows about the tangent.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Take off the layer.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, so I mean, maybe you could be a little
more transparent than you would be otherwise. But a surprising
number of people in relationships might actually be keeping one
eye on another person. A new survey of people these
were Americans that they surveyed. I don't know if that
matters in committee relationships, they found that one in six
(00:53):
admit there's a specific person that they would leave their
partner for if that other person showed romantic interest first.
The data also shows men are more likely than women
to have a backup option in mind. Well roughly one
in five say they don't view their current partner as
their soulmates. Psychologists say noticing another attractive person is not unusual.
(01:15):
Humans are wired that way, but having someone in mind
as a potential exit plan could signal unfulfilled needs in
the current relationship, and it's worth reflecting on. Well, yeah,
thank you, thanks psychology again, master's agree for that.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Fulfilled if you're thinking about somebody else.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I mean, right, yeah, or you're just a narcissist and
you're super greedy, which is I think another possibility.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Is they're terrified of being alone, so you always have
to have a plan of like if this shit hits
the fan.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
We know people, we I mean, oh I do, I
mean we all. I feel like we all have people
in our lives who are like this, that they simply
cannot be alone.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
And it's like, so, I don't know why it bothers
me so much, but I just think it's because I
know how valuable it is to spend time like getting
to know yourself and being single and it's okay, Like
I want people to be okay either way, and that
makes me sad that sometimes people are with people just
because they don't want to be alone.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, I think I think there are two extremes there.
I think I suffer from the other one, which is
I sometimes wonder how, I mean, how I would incorporate
another human in my life. But then there are people
on the other end of the spectrum that just can't
imagine a world where they or not with someone all
the time for various reasons. But is there someone if
you're being honest, is there someone that, like from the
(02:32):
past or someone in your life currently and if they
were like, hey, what's up, and they were serious and sincere,
that it would really give you pause about your current situation.
I mean, that's a hard thing to say. Yes too,
I will admit, like, that's not something you want to
go on the record as saying, and in fact, it's
something that you probably would never want to say out loud.
(02:52):
But I mean, you know what, is it twenty percent
of people they've got someone specific in mind. If they said, hey,
what's up? It would change everything for them.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
I mean that was me before my current relationship. Like
I always had Timothy in the back of my mind.
We were childhood friends. He always tried to date me,
like through high school and when I was with my ex,
I was like, like, I know exactly who I'm going
to date when I break up with you. I don't
know if you guys have ever felt to me, but
like I was like, I'm going to get Timothy, like he.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Well, and that's the guy you're gonna marry. So it
worked out. I mean, that's that's a good end result.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
I always had him in the back of my mind
because he was so nice, like he was such a
cool guy. My family loved him. But I just felt like,
you know, I was in I was in my other relationship,
but in the back of my mind. Once that relationship
started being horrible, I was like, yeah, I'm out of there.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I can honestly tell you, and I'm single, so I
could say whatever I want, I guess because wouldn't affect
anyone else. But I've never had this. I've never There's
no one out there that if they became available, that
that would just change everything for me. Honestly, now, I
think I have been that person, but not for the
not for like sweet and sentimental reasons. I feel like
(04:04):
I've been. I've been someone that people consider as a
backup a lot, like I'm good enough to be the backup,
Like I'm going to keep this guy around in case
things don't go well with the thing I'm doing now
because that'll be a good place to land. Oh ok,
I do think I've been that guy a lot of times.
And then when I'm not immediately that guy, then then
(04:26):
they don't like that, like people who are in relationships,
and then it's like I'll keep this guy in the
back burner and YadA, YadA, YadA, and then they become
single and it's like, you're not jumping at this, You're
not all over, Like why are you not just banging
my door down? And it's like, because I don't know.
Because I was, you weren't necessarily that person for me,
and even if you were, like I need you to
work through that. That's the step that a lot of
(04:48):
people don't want to take as the guy who's always single.
It's like they get a divorce or they get separated
or they break up with someone and it's like boom,
okay you it's like, no, no, hold on, needs you
to fucking work through that. I need that to be over.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Because you know what happens.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
It hits later, right, And I've done the gray area
thing and it backfires every fucking time. Every single time
there's a gray area, it backfires. But then people will
start getting shitty about it, Like, well, what do you mean,
Like you know, it's like no, but you you need someone,
like you need to be fulfilled by someone that doesn't
have to be my problem, you know what I mean.
(05:26):
Like I want to see you exist on your own,
Like I want to see you like stand on your
own two feet for a minute and like work through
that and be over that. And then to Kaylen's point,
then you know, once you sort of because it's always
going to be baggage, you know, especially if you've been
with someone for a long time or whatever. And that's fair,
but like, dude, like get the the bed needs to
be cold, Like get your shit out of your house,
(05:48):
you know what I'm saying, Like damn true. But there
are people out there they just can't be alone and
they've got to have a place to go. And I
just feel like, because I'm always single, I'm that guy.
And it's not a good feeling because then you start
to feel like the only thing you're useful for is
to sort of fill in for someone, like just to
fill the spot. It's almost like you're being groomed for it.
(06:09):
In some ways, I don't like it. It never works out,
but you guys know, there's no one like if they
became available, it would you don't have to say who
it is, but it might peak your attention for a minute,
like hmmm, I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Like Jacob a Lordie.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
But you know, I mean that's right.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
I didn't know if we were going.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Like yeah, he's past though, but.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wanted me.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I'm gone out of here.
Speaker 6 (06:32):
The last fifteen years. But even if you look back
at like the guy was with before Mike, like honestly
like no, same, Like I can this is going to
sound real. Just you're gonna want to throw up. But
like I can't sit here and say like they're not celebrity.
There's anyone else in like life that I could picture
myself with.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
That's sweet except except.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
For me, right, except for you. You're in the celebrity
realm I'm talking about. You know it's you Anderson Cooper.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
You know it could be the other way. I get that, Yeah,
that would be something. Yeah, it's nice, you.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
Know, like they're like I don't know, I can't look
at back at anyone.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Else to be like that's real, even like a celebrity crush.
Like I talked all this stuff, but if I could
have slept with a Maria. I still I wouldn't have
done Yeah, but you could have already.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
I feel like, yeah, and you did, so that shows Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
It is real when you feel like you have found
your person is like I don't want to entertain any
nobody else for real, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I will say I do miss like I wish I
had time on my own, Like that's what I missed,
and I regret.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Because you went from your parents' house to my house
fifteen years ago and.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
Was so I never like yes, literally I lesbianto the
like utmost lesbian degree, but like I like didn't never
got to like have my own place and like buy
my own couch, like you know, like I moved into.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Something that's crazy and you probably never will yeah because
in theory, you'll be with him forever and that's that,
and so you will never you will have never lived
on your own.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Oh wow, that's crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I have some friends like that too, and I'm like
how how and I missed it?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Like I don't.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
I don't want to say I don't want to be
with him, but I do miss like that I had
that like little bit of like freedom.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Compromise you know, we all compromise things when we find
our person, and you know that's just a compromise that
you have to.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, wow, that is interesting.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That is very odd.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
And I kind of wonder if I'll ever like go
couch shopping with someone else, because that would be kind
of weird, you know. I mean, I don't know, there's
a lot of compromise there, because you definitely get stuck
in your ways being on your own this long, I mean,
you really like it starts to be very difficult to
imagine how someone else's opinion on certain things would matter,
because it's like, well, I've gone this far without having
(08:52):
to consult you on you know, I don't know what
color to paint the wall or whatever, what to do
this weekend, and so I got it. I admit, like
it's it's probably as much of a problem if you
want to be with someone, you know, in a healthy relationship,
as it would be to never want to be alone.
I think it's probably in different ways as much of
(09:13):
an issue because you just don't. I think as humans
we're supposed to want to like rely on another person.
We're I think we're supposed to partner in some way
biologically but I mean it's like normal to have aspects
of your life I think filled in by other humans.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Monogamy isn't like biological, like I mean, you're definitely sleeping
with one person.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
No, but I think that partnership is.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Like meant to mate. But I mean, yeah, monogamy is
not necessarily natural.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But the monogamy is that that's not that that's really
never been the thing. Like the thought of being with
one person for the rest of my life has never
been the barrier. It's it's almost the feeling of like
enclosure of like for the rest of my life. Now
I have to consider this other person. And it sounds
selfish to say that, but I think it would be
selfish for me to like dive in into all these
situations knowing that's my problem, you know, and then still
(10:04):
doing it because a lot of people do that. They
still live their lives for them, but then they bring
someone else along with them because well, I guess, I
guess I'm supposed to have a partner, and I guess
I'm supposed to do I want a kid and stuff,
So like, I guess I'll marry this person, and then
I'll still be an asshole and do my own thing,
but yet I'll have this other person too, who's whose
opinions and thoughts I don't give a shit about. I
think people do that kind of regularly.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, they can.
Speaker 7 (10:26):
I also feel like it's a part of your personality,
where like, if you were to meet somebody, I don't
think you're like exactly, you'll compromise because you're a decent
human being.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
But what I'm saying is like I don't.
Speaker 7 (10:36):
I think like you also are set in your ways,
but it's also who you are if you were twenty two,
I think that's just the kind of man you are.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 7 (10:42):
Like you remind me my husband in that sense, Like
I hate this about him sometimes, but like it's just
who he is. Like he wants those bobbleheads in the basement.
Guess where they're going in the basement. Some couples don't
do that, Like the woman sometimes run the show where
the pants hates you know, Wifey's way or no way.
I've been trying to get to that level. We're not
there to that, but that's because that's the kind of man.
I'm married now. When I want my way or I
(11:03):
want something, I do get that too. But sometimes I
don't get to have, like, you know, the green walls
in the bathroom whatever I'm looking to do.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So, okay, I want to go deep green. Now that's
my new.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Phase is forest forest green.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I don't know, it's pretty. Have you seen a bathroom
like that? It's really pretty.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
It's gonna be dark, though.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah, but I kind of like dark green.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
You want to poop in the dark, I do, but he.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Won't let me see again, like Tobby's way or no way. Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I think that's what I mean is like I don't.
I couldn't be in a relationship where that everything went
my way, same like I wouldn't if I got into
a relationship. Then I think part of what I would
be reconciling with myself is that it is a compromise
and I'm not going to win every time. So I
(11:46):
guess I'm I don't expect to have my cake and
eat it too. But maybe that's why I haven't done it,
because I'm just not. I don't know, I don't, I don't.
I would love to meet someone with whom I'm more
aligned than I'm not, so it's doesn't always feel like
a compromise everything, you know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (12:02):
Yeah, that's fair. I don't Yeah, no, I get it.
It's it's some fighting for my life. Sometimes I do
get my way, and he always likes to point out
the moments that I do because I'll say I never
get my way, and like, yeah, I do. But at
the same time, I feel like he's just so said
in his ways. And I don't know if it's just personality.
Like we got married, we weren't that older, but we
were about thirty. I don't know if that makes a difference.
It just this is who he is. That's the core.
(12:23):
Like it's his way in the terms of not like that,
like I can do what I want, but it's his
way of like is the tile going to be a
certain color? Like if he doesn't like it, we got
to renegotiate this.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
He has to like it.
Speaker 7 (12:34):
And I don't like that because sometimes I just want
what I want, you know, I want the purple towels, whatever,
and he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Want up in green would be tough, yes, that would be.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
But I know, Barney girl, I want Well.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
It's funny because people say that you wind up with
like women wind up with someone like their dad. And
and men wind up with someone like their mom or
like that, that there's a natural attraction there. I've heard
that said before. And I love my mom. She's in
credit and she brings so much value to everybody's life.
But I can tell you I don't. I do not
want to marry someone. I want to marry someone who
(13:08):
has this a similar character to my mom. But there's
a trade off, right, Like my dad, my dad's well
taken care of. His life is managed and handled. But
with that comes we do it her way. It's where
she wants to eat, it's what she wants to do,
it's it's my dream. We do it my mom's way,
and like that, but that's not I don't need someone
(13:31):
to take care of me such that I need to
trade off that that we're going to eat where they
want to eat every time and we're and that I don't.
I don't need the boss lady in my life. And
I'm not saying my like, I want to be very clear.
My mom brings a ton of value in trade. That's
the trade off, right. My dad didn't have to do shit.
And I love my dad and he's you know, built
(13:51):
a business and provided a great life but like he
doesn't know where the fuck He wouldn't know how to
wash his underwear if he he doesn't know where the
next meal is coming from, he doesn't know who's paying
what bills. He done't fucking know, cause it's handled. But
the trade off is we're gonna do it Mom's way,
and if mom's not happy, nobody gets to be happy.
And she would tell you that's not true, but it's true.
(14:11):
Such is life, and that's the trade off, and he's
accepted that and he gets a lot for it. I
don't think that's what I want for me, though, Like
I want more fairness. I'll wash my own fucking shonies
and I'll pay my own bills. But like I guess,
I want to be considered and I wanted to average
out and I know that. You know people are listening now,
going hey, bro, Like that's not how it works. No,
(14:32):
maybe sometimes it's seventy thirty, maybe sometimes it's sixty forty,
But like I guess, I want sometimes it to go
my way. But I also don't need you to wipe
my ass for me either. But I don't know, I
get old there.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You don't know that yet.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Well, I mean maybe someday I'll be wiping ass. I
don't know. I mean, you like, you bring a ton
of value. But but but Mike, don't you think Mike
kind of like it's sort of I wouldn't say he's prioritized,
but like it's kind of his his will.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
Oh yeah, I mean I think the power and balance
started from the very beginning, Like not only is there
a huge age gap, but also I'm moving into his space,
like he was completely content that was his house, he
paid for it, like everything in it, like that's his.
So I think it. But I'm also not the type
of person that was ever like we need to get
a new couch, we need to get a new table,
we need to do this, And like I that's always
been his thing. So we've never really had that struggle.
(15:23):
But I have noticed that as he gets a little
bit older in his age, he starts to concede more.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
So.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
I don't know if it's like we're getting early on
set or like what's.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Going on, Like he's just tired his will. I'll be like,
we can't know.
Speaker 6 (15:36):
I'll be like we can't do that, Like no, the
girls can't do that, the girls can't whatever, And he'd
be like see girls like you can't do like whatever.
He'll be like, he'll like to I'll be like whoa,
like yeah yeah, yeah yeah not your two dogs. No, yeah,
my two female dogs. But like ten years ago, it'll
be like no, we got like it would have been
like in a media fight. But I'm like, no, we
need to do it this way, and he'll like concede
and I'm like, you're entering your soft girl era, Like
(15:57):
what's going on here?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean it's
Kiki Like Tim does everything your way, doesn't he? No.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Tim is a Sagittarius man. He's extremely stubborn. He's very independent,
so he will give in to me, but it's going
to be a fight first, like I have to you know,
or we and we're both very we're both Sagittarius and
the fact that like I want things my way and
I'm cool with doing it my way alone and you
cool about doing it with your way alone, and so
(16:27):
a lot of times I give in because this man
will stand on business like no I'm good, like and
I'm like no, no, but you're not good. He's like,
yes I am, and he has this independent thing. So no,
you know, I would love for it to go my
way because I feel like my way is the right
way most times. But I find myself doing this dance
of like making him think that it's going his way
(16:49):
and then a quick switch up and it's really my way,
but like he thinks it, like he thinks, you know, I.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Have to play this game. It's like a game, Jason
the Sagittarius. It's just hard with us.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Like Mike doesn't think that. Maybe he doesn't. I don't
know that that's why he controls me, but like I
don't know if he thinks that deep into like he's
that like planning.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I have to like it's like a key. You got
to trick him into thinking it was his idea.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh yeah, yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
Or I'll be like I hate vacations, man, I don't
want to go anywhere, and he's like, we should go
on vacation.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I'm like, hell, yeah we should, you know.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
Yeah, it's like this reverse psychology you think I have
to do at my house.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah. I don't want to push over by any means,
but I also I don't want someone who's like defiant,
we're doing it this way, or I'm not going to
be happy or I'm gonna bitch, you know, and complain
about it, Like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (17:46):
There's a I think there's a happy medium, you know,
or someone who's willing to say sometimes like you know,
I really want to do this.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I'm just I'm going to go do that, and you
go do the thing that you want to do and
then we'll meet up. Like I don't know, I've never
really been with anyone like that. It tends to be
like I want to do this and you're going to
do it with me, and not only that, but you're
going to make it happen. And it's like okay, yes, okay,
but I want you to want to do it. What
about the part yes?
Speaker 6 (18:13):
And then when I have an attitude because I don't
want to be doing it, then you're mad at me
because I have an attitude like you're making me do this.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
Yes, that really pisses me off. So don't get in
like okay, we can go do what you want to do.
But then now I'm like, no, I don't want to
do it because you really don't want to do it.
I need you to pretend like you want to do it.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
My goodness, but he doesn't want to.
Speaker 6 (18:31):
He doesn't want to do it, but he's going to
fake like you do because I want to do it.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
So yeah, your independence would really bother me if we
were in a relationship, you are, I need you to
need me a little bit like you don't need you
don't need for nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
No, I think I think I could learn. I think
it just it takes me such a long time, Like
I could get there, but it's just it's too slow
for most people. Like I feel like when I'm dating,
even if I'm willing, like I go out. It's been
a while since I was out here, like dating for sport,
and the funny thing is I was criticized for that,
but I was very transparent, Like when I was out
(19:07):
of here dating for fun and dating to get laid
and doing all this stuff I was. I was very open,
Like I've never been the guy who's like, oh, I
love you, so I'm so into you just so I
can hit and then like bounce, you know what I mean,
Like I've always been.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
But women were a little crazy where we think we
can change.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You, and then when they didn't, when they can or
when they're you know, then it's like you're an asshole.
But it's like, no, but I I've told you what
was going to happen here. I laid this out for
you and you don't like the ending, and that's fair,
but that doesn't make me a dickhead. But I don't
know where I was going with this. I don't bother me.
Oh like, I don't know. I don't go zero to
(19:48):
one hundred, like and when I have, it's failed. So
like I tend to sort of say, okay, like what
might take some people two months might take me six months.
And I've just noticed that people are they're not they're
not down with that because they read all line or
they see on TikTok. If you wanted to, he would,
and all this bullshit about like you know, all this
stuff that we're supposed to be doing as man, if
(20:09):
we really liked you, yes, then we'd be just fucking
tripping all over ourselves to beg you to be with us.
Guess what in history, no woman's ever wanted that. And
then you'll hate that, right, And I'm more like, hey,
like you know, this may take a while, and I'll
say that, and then it's just like you're not doing
(20:32):
enough you're not planning enough, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like this fucking okay then and then it never
goes anywhere because he's like, I just need a minute.
It just takes me longer to get to the point
that a lot of other people can get too faster.
I see the whole needing thing. I see because that's
a level of owner. That's the hardest, most extreme level
of vulnerability. I think for me is needing feeling like
(20:52):
I need someone, or feeling like someone's filling in aspects
of my life, that I'm relying on them, or that
I'm leaning into them, or that i'm sort of uh,
you know, giving up power like that to me is
the hardest part. And so but people, a lot of
people can act a lot faster than I do. And
so you know, it's like, oh, he's not doing enough,
you're not trying hard enough, whatever, Okay, bye. You know,
(21:15):
but the problem is you're gonna lose that one every
time because you see, you're saying, now I don't have
to now just go back to my own being on
my own, I don't have to do anything now, right, Oh,
Like right, that's what I mean. Like it's not a
threat to me to be like either you either you
do you know one hundred try one hundred times harder,
or or else you're gonna be alone. Like that's okay, right,
(21:38):
So you want me to do something that's not natural
to me or go back to the way that I was,
or no one's relying on me to do anything. Well,
I picked the ladder.
Speaker 7 (21:46):
Yeah, I don't think you're ever gonna need anybody like
knowing you and who you are, I don't think that's
ever gonna be the situation. But I am curious when
you're dating somebody and you're saying, oh, I didn't go
hard enough. I'm not putting whatever everything in it. Do
you do at least like what the person wants. Example,
if you know she likes roses or flowers, maybe once
every couple weeks you get her some flowers.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
If we were to get that far. But oftentimes it
doesn't get past a date or two or three because
it's like, oh, ok because you know, other guys are
texting more, other guys are calling more, or other guys
are planning more, and it's like I just need a
little space, Like I just it just takes me a
little longer to get to where it's like I'm starting
to incorporate you into my life, and then it's you know,
(22:28):
it's fucking a blizzard outside, but yes, I really do
want to put my clothes on and go outside and
go on a date and take you to dinner and
do the whole thing. That's not like a one or
two date thing, like it just takes someone. I know
people are listening now, going you lazy fuck it's like,
well maybe, but it's not even that, and I don't
expect anyone to wait. I just think it's like, give
me a minute, man.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
So you're not someone who knows right away like when
you meet someone.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
And the times I have I've been dead fucking wrong.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
The times I think like this is it, Oh yeah,
this is the one is when I start to say
now to my oh no, no it ain't. No, it ain't, no,
it ain't. And I'm not really I'm not really like
motivated by sex the way that I was years ago.
So you take that off the table and now it's
like I'm not saying that relationships are only good for sex,
(23:16):
but like, if you're looking to fulfill, if there's a
part of your life that's empty because you want that
human connection and now that it's like that's not as
important anymore because I think I was a little overstimulated then.
I don't know. Now it's like so now, all I
guess I'm really trying to do is find someone you
know to communicate, And I mean I don't I don't know.
It's complicated, but yeah, I uh full circle. None of
(23:40):
you have anyone in mind where if they became available,
it would pique your interest, at least briefly.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
No, I'm also like scared of what would happen if
I did become single somehow, because I just feel like
I would be completely fairal like I would like have
my like feral twink boy like Era.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Well, you've been in a relationship for fifteen years, Like,
I don't think that would be unexpected.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I'm scared.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Though they say women always have black a backup plan.
I don't know about that no more. Yeah, no, I
think out there, Yeah, I think after it's just like
single hot girl life.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
Yeah, they want to be like the chill, like, no
man's going to bother me the rest of my life, Era,
Like That's where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I'm like, I will not I'll date, I'll do the
whole thing. I told Hobby this too, because he was
really curious.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
But you've discussed with Hobby what you would do.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I was like. I was like, I'm never going to
get married.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I was like, when people say telling their partner everything,
I don't know that that has to include what you're
going to do when you divorce him.
Speaker 7 (24:39):
I don't know if I was mad or I was
trying to make a point. I don't remember, but I
was just like, I'm not going to do this again.
I was like, listen, I love you, I love marriage,
but I'm also like a realist, believe it or not, Like, yes,
I'm a fairy tale lover, but I'm also like if
this doesn't work out, right, I'm like, this doesn't work out.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I was like, I'm not going to do it again.
Speaker 7 (24:55):
Like marriage is a lot of work, in my opinion,
and I think it's a lot of other things of
emotional whatever. And I'm like, I love you, but this
doesn't work out, I'm never getting married.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I will day. I will be like, I will exist.
I'm gonna be in a bomb ass mom no matter what.
Speaker 7 (25:08):
But I was like, I will never get married again,
and that's not to say I won't be with somebody Kiki, okay,
but I'm not gonna make guys one of the second
wedding where the dress. We're not doing all that, Like,
I'm not ever doing this again.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Well like I don't judge anybody, and we had this
conversation last week on the air, I don't judge anybody
for this, but I don't understand more than two marriages.
I don't like I can see you fuck the first
one up. You know me, Maybe you got married, Maybe
you got married young, Maybe you got married for the
wrong reasons, Maybe you rushed into something. Maybe life was
such that it seemed like a good idea, especially getting
married young. Like if I got married when people who
(25:42):
could get married when they're twenty one, twenty two, twenty
three and still be married when they're one hundred or whatever,
like that's amazing because granted, if you're both that age
and you both change with the person I was when
I was twenty two is not the person I was
when I was thirty two or forty two for that matter.
So the idea that I would be with the same
person and they would put up with those changes in
me that are fundamentally different and me with them. That
(26:05):
is a wild undertaking, and I respect people who can
do it, but I understand why people get married young,
have a family and then say fuck, this is not
my person, like I don't want to do this, and
then they go find someone else, take their time, get married,
and then that one lasts long. I get that, but
well we're getting into third time walking down the aisle.
I don't get it, like be with someone forever, but
(26:27):
the whole like formal process. I don't get it because
I thought the point of it was that we were
committing to each other for life. How many times do
we do that before it loses its meaning?
Speaker 2 (26:37):
It's a good question, true. I just don't want to
put people through that, or myself.
Speaker 7 (26:41):
Like we will be we will exist, will be happy,
you know, God willing, It's gonna be a good life.
But I'm not like, I'm not getting married, not take
your last name. We're not combining finances, none of that,
none of them.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
I would love to be a fly on the wall
while you're telling Hovey about your plans after you leave this. Sure,
Oh no, I know you don't have to swear. I
know you did it. I did, but I would love
to see his reaction to this, like.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
He's he's getting really good with the comeback.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
So he said up, like go do it.
Speaker 7 (27:07):
No, no, no, I said, I'll never get married again.
Like well, what whatever, I'm like, I'm not doing this again.
He goes, uh, he goes, yeah, because I raised the
bar so high or so, I'm like that.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You kind of kind of ate tho you need to
pay the credit card that day?
Speaker 7 (27:18):
Choo was he kind of ate, was like you kind
of did daddy? Yeah, but no, I mean I want
to be with him forever and he's a great man.
But also I'm not stupid. Life happens, and I'm hope
nothing happens.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
In our marriage. Like I want to be with him forever.
I'm very happy with him.
Speaker 7 (27:33):
But at the same time, if he goes bye bye
he decides to go with the twenty year old, I'm
gonna be just fine over here too.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I'm gonna make sure that there you go.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
You gotta think about this stuff, ladies.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
All right, so no backup plans in the room, then
fair enough. Thirty minutes later, no backup plans. So yeah,
all right, well there's the tang. Maybe we'll do another
one this week. Maybe we won't. I don't. I don't know.
You know, we keep you on your toes. Man. It's
like these things when they pop up, it's like ooh surprise.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
You know. It's like when you open the fridge and
there's leftovers in there. You forgot about it, and you're like,
you know, oh my god, I forgot. This is so
great it's here. Look I'm gonna eat this now, you know.
That's what this is. The tangent.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
It tastes good.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
It hopefully it take it. Yeah, thank you, Jason.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
It's called
All right, let's do a tangent. Guys, you ready, everybody,
all right, hit the intro P. It's the tangent giving
you all this shit we couldn't talk about on the air.
I want to know if you guys have and this
(00:20):
is I need like full and total honesty and transparency
from you here.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What when don't we give that?
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well? I think you do. But you know this is
a little bit under the cover of darkness because it's
the tangent, and not everybody knows about the tangent.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Take off the layer.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, so I mean, maybe you could be a little
more transparent than you would be otherwise. But a surprising
number of people in relationships might actually be keeping one
eye on another person. A new survey of people these
were Americans that they surveyed. I don't know if that
matters in committee relationships, they found that one in six
(00:53):
admit there's a specific person that they would leave their
partner for if that other person showed romantic interest first.
The data also shows men are more likely than women
to have a backup option in mind. Well roughly one
in five say they don't view their current partner as
their soulmates. Psychologists say noticing another attractive person is not unusual.
(01:15):
Humans are wired that way, but having someone in mind
as a potential exit plan could signal unfulfilled needs in
the current relationship, and it's worth reflecting on. Well, yeah,
thank you, thanks psychology again, master's agree for that.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Fulfilled if you're thinking about somebody else.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
I mean, right, yeah, or you're just a narcissist and
you're super greedy, which is I think another possibility.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Is they're terrified of being alone, so you always have
to have a plan of like if this shit hits
the fan.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
We know people, we I mean, oh I do, I
mean we all. I feel like we all have people
in our lives who are like this, that they simply
cannot be alone.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
And it's like, so, I don't know why it bothers
me so much, but I just think it's because I
know how valuable it is to spend time like getting
to know yourself and being single and it's okay, Like
I want people to be okay either way, and that
makes me sad that sometimes people are with people just
because they don't want to be alone.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, I think I think there are two extremes there.
I think I suffer from the other one, which is
I sometimes wonder how, I mean, how I would incorporate
another human in my life. But then there are people
on the other end of the spectrum that just can't
imagine a world where they or not with someone all
the time for various reasons. But is there someone if
you're being honest, is there someone that, like from the
(02:32):
past or someone in your life currently and if they
were like, hey, what's up, and they were serious and sincere,
that it would really give you pause about your current situation.
I mean, that's a hard thing to say. Yes too,
I will admit, like, that's not something you want to
go on the record as saying, and in fact, it's
something that you probably would never want to say out loud.
(02:52):
But I mean, you know what, is it twenty percent
of people they've got someone specific in mind. If they said, hey,
what's up? It would change everything for them.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
I mean that was me before my current relationship. Like
I always had Timothy in the back of my mind.
We were childhood friends. He always tried to date me,
like through high school and when I was with my ex,
I was like, like, I know exactly who I'm going
to date when I break up with you. I don't
know if you guys have ever felt to me, but
like I was like, I'm going to get Timothy, like he.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Well, and that's the guy you're gonna marry. So it
worked out. I mean, that's that's a good end result.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
I always had him in the back of my mind
because he was so nice, like he was such a
cool guy. My family loved him. But I just felt like,
you know, I was in I was in my other relationship,
but in the back of my mind. Once that relationship
started being horrible, I was like, yeah, I'm out of there.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
I can honestly tell you, and I'm single, so I
could say whatever I want, I guess because wouldn't affect
anyone else. But I've never had this. I've never There's
no one out there that if they became available, that
that would just change everything for me. Honestly, now, I
think I have been that person, but not for the
not for like sweet and sentimental reasons. I feel like
(04:04):
I've been. I've been someone that people consider as a
backup a lot, like I'm good enough to be the backup,
Like I'm going to keep this guy around in case
things don't go well with the thing I'm doing now
because that'll be a good place to land. Oh ok,
I do think I've been that guy a lot of times.
And then when I'm not immediately that guy, then then
(04:26):
they don't like that, like people who are in relationships,
and then it's like I'll keep this guy in the
back burner and YadA, YadA, YadA, and then they become
single and it's like, you're not jumping at this, You're
not all over, Like why are you not just banging
my door down? And it's like, because I don't know.
Because I was, you weren't necessarily that person for me,
and even if you were, like I need you to
work through that. That's the step that a lot of
(04:48):
people don't want to take as the guy who's always single.
It's like they get a divorce or they get separated
or they break up with someone and it's like boom,
okay you it's like, no, no, hold on, needs you
to fucking work through that. I need that to be over.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Because you know what happens.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
It hits later, right, And I've done the gray area
thing and it backfires every fucking time. Every single time
there's a gray area, it backfires. But then people will
start getting shitty about it, Like, well, what do you mean,
Like you know, it's like no, but you you need someone,
like you need to be fulfilled by someone that doesn't
have to be my problem, you know what I mean.
(05:26):
Like I want to see you exist on your own,
Like I want to see you like stand on your
own two feet for a minute and like work through
that and be over that. And then to Kaylen's point,
then you know, once you sort of because it's always
going to be baggage, you know, especially if you've been
with someone for a long time or whatever. And that's fair,
but like, dude, like get the the bed needs to
be cold, Like get your shit out of your house,
(05:48):
you know what I'm saying, Like damn true. But there
are people out there they just can't be alone and
they've got to have a place to go. And I
just feel like, because I'm always single, I'm that guy.
And it's not a good feeling because then you start
to feel like the only thing you're useful for is
to sort of fill in for someone, like just to
fill the spot. It's almost like you're being groomed for it.
(06:09):
In some ways, I don't like it. It never works out,
but you guys know, there's no one like if they
became available, it would you don't have to say who
it is, but it might peak your attention for a minute,
like hmmm, I mean.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Like Jacob a Lordie.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
But you know, I mean that's right.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
I didn't know if we were going.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Like yeah, he's past though, but.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wanted me.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I'm gone out of here.
Speaker 6 (06:32):
The last fifteen years. But even if you look back
at like the guy was with before Mike, like honestly
like no, same, Like I can this is going to
sound real. Just you're gonna want to throw up. But
like I can't sit here and say like they're not celebrity.
There's anyone else in like life that I could picture
myself with.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
That's sweet except except.
Speaker 6 (06:52):
For me, right, except for you. You're in the celebrity
realm I'm talking about. You know it's you Anderson Cooper.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
You know it could be the other way. I get that, Yeah,
that would be something. Yeah, it's nice, you.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
Know, like they're like I don't know, I can't look
at back at anyone.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Else to be like that's real, even like a celebrity crush.
Like I talked all this stuff, but if I could
have slept with a Maria. I still I wouldn't have
done Yeah, but you could have already.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
I feel like, yeah, and you did, so that shows Yeah.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
It is real when you feel like you have found
your person is like I don't want to entertain any
nobody else for real, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I will say I do miss like I wish I
had time on my own, Like that's what I missed,
and I regret.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Because you went from your parents' house to my house
fifteen years ago and.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
Was so I never like yes, literally I lesbianto the
like utmost lesbian degree, but like I like didn't never
got to like have my own place and like buy
my own couch, like you know, like I moved into.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Something that's crazy and you probably never will yeah because
in theory, you'll be with him forever and that's that,
and so you will never you will have never lived
on your own.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Oh wow, that's crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I have some friends like that too, and I'm like
how how and I missed it?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Like I don't.
Speaker 6 (08:14):
I don't want to say I don't want to be
with him, but I do miss like that I had
that like little bit of like freedom.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Compromise you know, we all compromise things when we find
our person, and you know that's just a compromise that
you have to.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, wow, that is interesting.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That is very odd.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
And I kind of wonder if I'll ever like go
couch shopping with someone else, because that would be kind
of weird, you know. I mean, I don't know, there's
a lot of compromise there, because you definitely get stuck
in your ways being on your own this long, I mean,
you really like it starts to be very difficult to
imagine how someone else's opinion on certain things would matter,
because it's like, well, I've gone this far without having
(08:52):
to consult you on you know, I don't know what
color to paint the wall or whatever, what to do
this weekend, and so I got it. I admit, like
it's it's probably as much of a problem if you
want to be with someone, you know, in a healthy relationship,
as it would be to never want to be alone.
I think it's probably in different ways as much of
(09:13):
an issue because you just don't. I think as humans
we're supposed to want to like rely on another person.
We're I think we're supposed to partner in some way
biologically but I mean it's like normal to have aspects
of your life I think filled in by other humans.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
Monogamy isn't like biological, like I mean, you're definitely sleeping
with one person.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
No, but I think that partnership is.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Like meant to mate. But I mean, yeah, monogamy is
not necessarily natural.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But the monogamy is that that's not that that's really
never been the thing. Like the thought of being with
one person for the rest of my life has never
been the barrier. It's it's almost the feeling of like
enclosure of like for the rest of my life. Now
I have to consider this other person. And it sounds
selfish to say that, but I think it would be
selfish for me to like dive in into all these
situations knowing that's my problem, you know, and then still
(10:04):
doing it because a lot of people do that. They
still live their lives for them, but then they bring
someone else along with them because well, I guess, I
guess I'm supposed to have a partner, and I guess
I'm supposed to do I want a kid and stuff,
So like, I guess I'll marry this person, and then
I'll still be an asshole and do my own thing,
but yet I'll have this other person too, who's whose
opinions and thoughts I don't give a shit about. I
think people do that kind of regularly.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Yeah, they can.
Speaker 7 (10:26):
I also feel like it's a part of your personality,
where like, if you were to meet somebody, I don't
think you're like exactly, you'll compromise because you're a decent
human being.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
But what I'm saying is like I don't.
Speaker 7 (10:36):
I think like you also are set in your ways,
but it's also who you are if you were twenty two,
I think that's just the kind of man you are.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 7 (10:42):
Like you remind me my husband in that sense, Like
I hate this about him sometimes, but like it's just
who he is. Like he wants those bobbleheads in the basement.
Guess where they're going in the basement. Some couples don't
do that, Like the woman sometimes run the show where
the pants hates you know, Wifey's way or no way.
I've been trying to get to that level. We're not
there to that, but that's because that's the kind of man.
I'm married now. When I want my way or I
(11:03):
want something, I do get that too. But sometimes I
don't get to have, like, you know, the green walls
in the bathroom whatever I'm looking to do.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So, okay, I want to go deep green. Now that's
my new.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Phase is forest forest green.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I don't know, it's pretty. Have you seen a bathroom
like that? It's really pretty.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
It's gonna be dark, though.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Yeah, but I kind of like dark green.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
You want to poop in the dark, I do, but he.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Won't let me see again, like Tobby's way or no way. Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I think that's what I mean is like I don't.
I couldn't be in a relationship where that everything went
my way, same like I wouldn't if I got into
a relationship. Then I think part of what I would
be reconciling with myself is that it is a compromise
and I'm not going to win every time. So I
(11:46):
guess I'm I don't expect to have my cake and
eat it too. But maybe that's why I haven't done it,
because I'm just not. I don't know, I don't, I don't.
I would love to meet someone with whom I'm more
aligned than I'm not, so it's doesn't always feel like
a compromise everything, you know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (12:02):
Yeah, that's fair. I don't Yeah, no, I get it.
It's it's some fighting for my life. Sometimes I do
get my way, and he always likes to point out
the moments that I do because I'll say I never
get my way, and like, yeah, I do. But at
the same time, I feel like he's just so said
in his ways. And I don't know if it's just personality.
Like we got married, we weren't that older, but we
were about thirty. I don't know if that makes a difference.
It just this is who he is. That's the core.
(12:23):
Like it's his way in the terms of not like that,
like I can do what I want, but it's his
way of like is the tile going to be a
certain color? Like if he doesn't like it, we got
to renegotiate this.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
He has to like it.
Speaker 7 (12:34):
And I don't like that because sometimes I just want
what I want, you know, I want the purple towels, whatever,
and he doesn't.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Want up in green would be tough, yes, that would be.
Speaker 6 (12:41):
But I know, Barney girl, I want Well.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
It's funny because people say that you wind up with
like women wind up with someone like their dad. And
and men wind up with someone like their mom or
like that, that there's a natural attraction there. I've heard
that said before. And I love my mom. She's in
credit and she brings so much value to everybody's life.
But I can tell you I don't. I do not
want to marry someone. I want to marry someone who
(13:08):
has this a similar character to my mom. But there's
a trade off, right, Like my dad, my dad's well
taken care of. His life is managed and handled. But
with that comes we do it her way. It's where
she wants to eat, it's what she wants to do,
it's it's my dream. We do it my mom's way,
and like that, but that's not I don't need someone
(13:31):
to take care of me such that I need to
trade off that that we're going to eat where they
want to eat every time and we're and that I don't.
I don't need the boss lady in my life. And
I'm not saying my like, I want to be very clear.
My mom brings a ton of value in trade. That's
the trade off, right. My dad didn't have to do shit.
And I love my dad and he's you know, built
(13:51):
a business and provided a great life but like he
doesn't know where the fuck He wouldn't know how to
wash his underwear if he he doesn't know where the
next meal is coming from, he doesn't know who's paying
what bills. He done't fucking know, cause it's handled. But
the trade off is we're gonna do it Mom's way,
and if mom's not happy, nobody gets to be happy.
And she would tell you that's not true, but it's true.
(14:11):
Such is life, and that's the trade off, and he's
accepted that and he gets a lot for it. I
don't think that's what I want for me, though, Like
I want more fairness. I'll wash my own fucking shonies
and I'll pay my own bills. But like I guess,
I want to be considered and I wanted to average
out and I know that. You know people are listening now,
going hey, bro, Like that's not how it works. No,
(14:32):
maybe sometimes it's seventy thirty, maybe sometimes it's sixty forty,
But like I guess, I want sometimes it to go
my way. But I also don't need you to wipe
my ass for me either. But I don't know, I
get old there.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
You don't know that yet.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Well, I mean maybe someday I'll be wiping ass. I
don't know. I mean, you like, you bring a ton
of value. But but but Mike, don't you think Mike
kind of like it's sort of I wouldn't say he's prioritized,
but like it's kind of his his will.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
Oh yeah, I mean I think the power and balance
started from the very beginning, Like not only is there
a huge age gap, but also I'm moving into his space,
like he was completely content that was his house, he
paid for it, like everything in it, like that's his.
So I think it. But I'm also not the type
of person that was ever like we need to get
a new couch, we need to get a new table,
we need to do this, And like I that's always
been his thing. So we've never really had that struggle.
(15:23):
But I have noticed that as he gets a little
bit older in his age, he starts to concede more.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
So.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
I don't know if it's like we're getting early on
set or like what's.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Going on, Like he's just tired his will. I'll be like,
we can't know.
Speaker 6 (15:36):
I'll be like we can't do that, Like no, the
girls can't do that, the girls can't whatever, And he'd
be like see girls like you can't do like whatever.
He'll be like, he'll like to I'll be like whoa,
like yeah yeah, yeah yeah not your two dogs. No, yeah,
my two female dogs. But like ten years ago, it'll
be like no, we got like it would have been
like in a media fight. But I'm like, no, we
need to do it this way, and he'll like concede
and I'm like, you're entering your soft girl era, Like
(15:57):
what's going on here?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean it's
Kiki Like Tim does everything your way, doesn't he? No.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Tim is a Sagittarius man. He's extremely stubborn. He's very independent,
so he will give in to me, but it's going
to be a fight first, like I have to you know,
or we and we're both very we're both Sagittarius and
the fact that like I want things my way and
I'm cool with doing it my way alone and you
cool about doing it with your way alone, and so
(16:27):
a lot of times I give in because this man
will stand on business like no I'm good, like and
I'm like no, no, but you're not good. He's like,
yes I am, and he has this independent thing. So no,
you know, I would love for it to go my
way because I feel like my way is the right
way most times. But I find myself doing this dance
of like making him think that it's going his way
(16:49):
and then a quick switch up and it's really my way,
but like he thinks it, like he thinks, you know, I.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Have to play this game. It's like a game, Jason
the Sagittarius. It's just hard with us.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Like Mike doesn't think that. Maybe he doesn't. I don't
know that that's why he controls me, but like I
don't know if he thinks that deep into like he's
that like planning.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I have to like it's like a key. You got
to trick him into thinking it was his idea.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh yeah, yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
Or I'll be like I hate vacations, man, I don't
want to go anywhere, and he's like, we should go
on vacation.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
I'm like, hell, yeah we should, you know.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
Yeah, it's like this reverse psychology you think I have
to do at my house.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah. I don't want to push over by any means,
but I also I don't want someone who's like defiant,
we're doing it this way, or I'm not going to
be happy or I'm gonna bitch, you know, and complain
about it, Like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (17:46):
There's a I think there's a happy medium, you know,
or someone who's willing to say sometimes like you know,
I really want to do this.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I'm just I'm going to go do that, and you
go do the thing that you want to do and
then we'll meet up. Like I don't know, I've never
really been with anyone like that. It tends to be
like I want to do this and you're going to
do it with me, and not only that, but you're
going to make it happen. And it's like okay, yes, okay,
but I want you to want to do it. What
about the part yes?
Speaker 6 (18:13):
And then when I have an attitude because I don't
want to be doing it, then you're mad at me
because I have an attitude like you're making me do this.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
Yes, that really pisses me off. So don't get in
like okay, we can go do what you want to do.
But then now I'm like, no, I don't want to
do it because you really don't want to do it.
I need you to pretend like you want to do it.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
My goodness, but he doesn't want to.
Speaker 6 (18:31):
He doesn't want to do it, but he's going to
fake like you do because I want to do it.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
So yeah, your independence would really bother me if we
were in a relationship, you are, I need you to
need me a little bit like you don't need you
don't need for nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
No, I think I think I could learn. I think
it just it takes me such a long time, Like
I could get there, but it's just it's too slow
for most people. Like I feel like when I'm dating,
even if I'm willing, like I go out. It's been
a while since I was out here, like dating for sport,
and the funny thing is I was criticized for that,
but I was very transparent, Like when I was out
(19:07):
of here dating for fun and dating to get laid
and doing all this stuff I was. I was very open,
Like I've never been the guy who's like, oh, I
love you, so I'm so into you just so I
can hit and then like bounce, you know what I mean,
Like I've always been.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
But women were a little crazy where we think we
can change.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You, and then when they didn't, when they can or
when they're you know, then it's like you're an asshole.
But it's like, no, but I I've told you what
was going to happen here. I laid this out for
you and you don't like the ending, and that's fair,
but that doesn't make me a dickhead. But I don't
know where I was going with this. I don't bother me.
Oh like, I don't know. I don't go zero to
(19:48):
one hundred, like and when I have, it's failed. So
like I tend to sort of say, okay, like what
might take some people two months might take me six months.
And I've just noticed that people are they're not they're
not down with that because they read all line or
they see on TikTok. If you wanted to, he would,
and all this bullshit about like you know, all this
stuff that we're supposed to be doing as man, if
(20:09):
we really liked you, yes, then we'd be just fucking
tripping all over ourselves to beg you to be with us.
Guess what in history, no woman's ever wanted that. And
then you'll hate that, right, And I'm more like, hey,
like you know, this may take a while, and I'll
say that, and then it's just like you're not doing
(20:32):
enough you're not planning enough, you're not trying hard enough.
It's like this fucking okay then and then it never
goes anywhere because he's like, I just need a minute.
It just takes me longer to get to the point
that a lot of other people can get too faster.
I see the whole needing thing. I see because that's
a level of owner. That's the hardest, most extreme level
of vulnerability. I think for me is needing feeling like
(20:52):
I need someone, or feeling like someone's filling in aspects
of my life, that I'm relying on them, or that
I'm leaning into them, or that i'm sort of uh,
you know, giving up power like that to me is
the hardest part. And so but people, a lot of
people can act a lot faster than I do. And
so you know, it's like, oh, he's not doing enough,
you're not trying hard enough, whatever, Okay, bye. You know,
(21:15):
but the problem is you're gonna lose that one every
time because you see, you're saying, now I don't have
to now just go back to my own being on
my own, I don't have to do anything now, right, Oh,
Like right, that's what I mean. Like it's not a
threat to me to be like either you either you
do you know one hundred try one hundred times harder,
or or else you're gonna be alone. Like that's okay, right,
(21:38):
So you want me to do something that's not natural
to me or go back to the way that I was,
or no one's relying on me to do anything. Well,
I picked the ladder.
Speaker 7 (21:46):
Yeah, I don't think you're ever gonna need anybody like
knowing you and who you are, I don't think that's
ever gonna be the situation. But I am curious when
you're dating somebody and you're saying, oh, I didn't go
hard enough. I'm not putting whatever everything in it. Do
you do at least like what the person wants. Example,
if you know she likes roses or flowers, maybe once
every couple weeks you get her some flowers.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
If we were to get that far. But oftentimes it
doesn't get past a date or two or three because
it's like, oh, ok because you know, other guys are
texting more, other guys are calling more, or other guys
are planning more, and it's like I just need a
little space, Like I just it just takes me a
little longer to get to where it's like I'm starting
to incorporate you into my life, and then it's you know,
(22:28):
it's fucking a blizzard outside, but yes, I really do
want to put my clothes on and go outside and
go on a date and take you to dinner and
do the whole thing. That's not like a one or
two date thing, like it just takes someone. I know
people are listening now, going you lazy fuck it's like,
well maybe, but it's not even that, and I don't
expect anyone to wait. I just think it's like, give
me a minute, man.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
So you're not someone who knows right away like when
you meet someone.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
And the times I have I've been dead fucking wrong.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
The times I think like this is it, Oh yeah,
this is the one is when I start to say
now to my oh no, no it ain't. No, it ain't, no,
it ain't. And I'm not really I'm not really like
motivated by sex the way that I was years ago.
So you take that off the table and now it's
like I'm not saying that relationships are only good for sex,
(23:16):
but like, if you're looking to fulfill, if there's a
part of your life that's empty because you want that
human connection and now that it's like that's not as
important anymore because I think I was a little overstimulated then.
I don't know. Now it's like so now, all I
guess I'm really trying to do is find someone you
know to communicate, And I mean I don't I don't know.
It's complicated, but yeah, I uh full circle. None of
(23:40):
you have anyone in mind where if they became available,
it would pique your interest, at least briefly.
Speaker 6 (23:46):
No, I'm also like scared of what would happen if
I did become single somehow, because I just feel like
I would be completely fairal like I would like have
my like feral twink boy like Era.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Well, you've been in a relationship for fifteen years, Like,
I don't think that would be unexpected.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I'm scared.
Speaker 5 (24:02):
Though they say women always have black a backup plan.
I don't know about that no more. Yeah, no, I
think out there, Yeah, I think after it's just like
single hot girl life.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
Yeah, they want to be like the chill, like, no
man's going to bother me the rest of my life, Era,
Like That's where I'm at.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I'm like, I will not I'll date, I'll do the
whole thing. I told Hobby this too, because he was
really curious.
Speaker 6 (24:22):
But you've discussed with Hobby what you would do.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I was like. I was like, I'm never going to
get married.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
I was like, when people say telling their partner everything,
I don't know that that has to include what you're
going to do when you divorce him.
Speaker 7 (24:39):
I don't know if I was mad or I was
trying to make a point. I don't remember, but I
was just like, I'm not going to do this again.
I was like, listen, I love you, I love marriage,
but I'm also like a realist, believe it or not, Like, yes,
I'm a fairy tale lover, but I'm also like if
this doesn't work out, right, I'm like, this doesn't work out.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I was like, I'm not going to do it again.
Speaker 7 (24:55):
Like marriage is a lot of work, in my opinion,
and I think it's a lot of other things of
emotional whatever. And I'm like, I love you, but this
doesn't work out, I'm never getting married.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
I will day. I will be like, I will exist.
I'm gonna be in a bomb ass mom no matter what.
Speaker 7 (25:08):
But I was like, I will never get married again,
and that's not to say I won't be with somebody Kiki, okay,
but I'm not gonna make guys one of the second
wedding where the dress. We're not doing all that, Like,
I'm not ever doing this again.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Well like I don't judge anybody, and we had this
conversation last week on the air, I don't judge anybody
for this, but I don't understand more than two marriages.
I don't like I can see you fuck the first
one up. You know me, Maybe you got married, Maybe
you got married young, Maybe you got married for the
wrong reasons, Maybe you rushed into something. Maybe life was
such that it seemed like a good idea, especially getting
married young. Like if I got married when people who
(25:42):
could get married when they're twenty one, twenty two, twenty
three and still be married when they're one hundred or whatever,
like that's amazing because granted, if you're both that age
and you both change with the person I was when
I was twenty two is not the person I was
when I was thirty two or forty two for that matter.
So the idea that I would be with the same
person and they would put up with those changes in
me that are fundamentally different and me with them. That
(26:05):
is a wild undertaking, and I respect people who can
do it, but I understand why people get married young,
have a family and then say fuck, this is not
my person, like I don't want to do this, and
then they go find someone else, take their time, get married,
and then that one lasts long. I get that, but
well we're getting into third time walking down the aisle.
I don't get it, like be with someone forever, but
(26:27):
the whole like formal process. I don't get it because
I thought the point of it was that we were
committing to each other for life. How many times do
we do that before it loses its meaning?
Speaker 2 (26:37):
It's a good question, true. I just don't want to
put people through that, or myself.
Speaker 7 (26:41):
Like we will be we will exist, will be happy,
you know, God willing, It's gonna be a good life.
But I'm not like, I'm not getting married, not take
your last name. We're not combining finances, none of that,
none of them.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
I would love to be a fly on the wall
while you're telling Hovey about your plans after you leave this. Sure,
Oh no, I know you don't have to swear. I
know you did it. I did, but I would love
to see his reaction to this, like.
Speaker 7 (27:03):
He's he's getting really good with the comeback.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
So he said up, like go do it.
Speaker 7 (27:07):
No, no, no, I said, I'll never get married again.
Like well, what whatever, I'm like, I'm not doing this again.
He goes, uh, he goes, yeah, because I raised the
bar so high or so, I'm like that.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You kind of kind of ate tho you need to
pay the credit card that day?
Speaker 7 (27:18):
Choo was he kind of ate, was like you kind
of did daddy? Yeah, but no, I mean I want
to be with him forever and he's a great man.
But also I'm not stupid. Life happens, and I'm hope
nothing happens.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
In our marriage. Like I want to be with him forever.
I'm very happy with him.
Speaker 7 (27:33):
But at the same time, if he goes bye bye
he decides to go with the twenty year old, I'm
gonna be just fine over here too.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I'm gonna make sure that there you go.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
You gotta think about this stuff, ladies.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
All right, so no backup plans in the room, then
fair enough. Thirty minutes later, no backup plans. So yeah,
all right, well there's the tang. Maybe we'll do another
one this week. Maybe we won't. I don't. I don't know.
You know, we keep you on your toes. Man. It's
like these things when they pop up, it's like ooh surprise.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
You know. It's like when you open the fridge and
there's leftovers in there. You forgot about it, and you're like,
you know, oh my god, I forgot. This is so
great it's here. Look I'm gonna eat this now, you know.
That's what this is. The tangent.
Speaker 6 (28:10):
It tastes good.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
It hopefully it take it. Yeah, thank you, Jason.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
It's called
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