Fire the Fox Soccer Commentators

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fire every single one of them. Fire them, fire them,
and don't let the door hit you on the way out.
One of the most annoying things of an otherwise great
World Cup are the three commentators on Fox, whether it's
before the game, during halftime, post game. I don't know

(00:23):
where to begin. Where did they find these three. One
is Thierry Henri, who in fact was a very good
player for France and for Arsenal. He's originally from France.
They got Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who played for a seven many
years before playing in the Major League Soccer League here

(00:44):
in North America, and the an Alexi Lamis, who played
on two US Men's World Cup teams. Now, look, they
were all very good, very good soccer players, especially Ibrahimovic,
and no question as soccer players, top tier talent. As commentators, horrible,

(01:08):
absolutely horrible. They're pretentious. They're a bunch of jerks. I
don't understand half of what they're saying, with all due respect,
because their accents are so thick, especially Thierryri. Every second word,
I'm like, what is he saying? What is he saying?
So you've got Thierry Henri, who I can't make out

(01:30):
much of what he's saying, and then what I can
make out, it's the most asinine, stupidest obvious things. If
Brazil is to beat Japan, they must beat Japan, duh,
Like this is what passes for top tier soccer analysis.

(01:51):
Then you have that pretentious jerk z Latan Ibrahimovich again him,
I understand a little bit more, but it's all we
about him, or some stupid comment where he thinks he's
being witty, but he's really not witty because he's just
not that smart. You know, the fact that they could
kick a ball doesn't mean they could actually be good analysts.

(02:15):
And then you've got Alexi Lamis, who's been doing this
commentating gig for decades now. Don't ask me why he
knows next to nothing about soccer. His analysis is shallow, vacuous, empty, stale, conventional.
He's another one. Words are coming out of his mouth

(02:38):
I have, but he's not saying anything. Get rid of him.
You want good soccer commentary, look at the British the
English Premier League as an example. Those are people who
know soccer, who write about soccer, who actually understand the
English language, who can put words together and actually give

(03:00):
you meaningful, significant and entertaining analysis at the same time.
These three they're trying to be funny, but they just
come across as clowns. And you know it's bad because
whenever they're on, I just change the channel, or if
I've recorded the game, I fast forward until the game begins,

(03:23):
and then when it's halftime, I fast forward right through halftime.
Because they're not worth listening. If you're gonna spend this
much money on a World Cup and you're gonna have
the kind of audience that there's the World Cup is
now generating, could you at least get three commentators A
we understand what they're saying. B they know something about

(03:47):
what they're talking about. And C could you give them
a brain because all three of them dumb as a
boxer rocks. To Fox, you can do better. You must
do better. For God's sake, I'm begging you do better
because those three you're scraping the bottom of the barrel.

(04:12):
This may be the worst threesome in commentating sports history,
from bad to batter to worse. I don't know. I mean,
I don't know how you can do it, but one
is worse than the other. So to Fox, do the
viewer a favor, do the listener a favor. Fire them,

(04:38):
I don't care. Get anybody else. Hell, I'm available, Hire me,
Trust me. I know a hell of a lot more
about soccer than those three. I can break down the
game better. I can give you actually more penetrating, serious analysis,
and I can do it in a way that people
will like to listen. We'll watch, We'll find it entertaining,

(04:59):
in aging and insightful. But those three, ay ya yay.
If you're trying to lose listeners, that's the way to
do it. Fire one, fire two, fire three, fire them all.