Renewal, Reflection, & Growth with Dr. Dorothy Jeffries

This is the season for Renewal, Reflection and Growth what are your plans? Pivot, Pass, or Play with Behavorial and Relationship Consultant Dr. Dorothy Jeffries on The Bev Johnson Show on WDIA Radio.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Memphis probably presents The Beam Johnson Show.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Let me say bath first, Let make you say. She's
gone emphistop game. No matter of the problem she can

(00:31):
have so all the phone and the normans on your mind.
She understand to me in the hair by telling you
to just keep the fair.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
When arangle pegging out this josing show because well, I've.

Speaker 4 (00:53):
Got nothing game.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
In here.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Every day d I hate my bell, got me a
missed king.

Speaker 5 (01:48):
Good morning, good morning, good morning, and welcome into w
d i A The BEB Johnson Show. It is indeed
a pleasure to have you with us once again on
this Friday Friday. It's good Friday, April eighteenth, twenty twenty five.
Enjoyed this fatabulous day today, Get ready to put your

(02:13):
ears on because it's relationship Day where we talk about
relationships to help make yours healthy, happy, wholesome, wonderful, and
most of all loving. Between considering consenting let me say
that again, consenting adults. We will be talking with our expert, Yeah,

(02:38):
our behavioral relationship expert, doctor Dorothy Jeffries, will be talking
with us on this a good Friday topic of conversation.
This is the season of renewal, reflection and growth. What
are your plans? Pivot, pass a play, think about it.

(02:59):
We'll talk with doctor Jeffries in a few minutes. I
will share with you some Goodwill announcements so you'll know
what's going on this Easter weekend. And we'll talk with
you when it's your turn to talk. You know you
can nine zero one five three five nine three four
two nine zero one five three five nine three four

(03:27):
two eight hundred five zero three nine three four two
eight three three five three five nine three four two
will get you in to me. And if this day,

(03:47):
this day, Friday, April eighteenth, twenty twenty five, is your birthday.
Happy birthday to each and neighbor. Went to y'all out
there who may be celebra rating a birthday on this day, Friday,
the eighteenth Saturday of nineteenth Sunday the twentieth as well,

(04:07):
Happy birthday, y'all go out and celebrate your life. You
you better, you better. When we come back, I'll share
some WDA Goodwill announcements. Special birthday. Yeah, I'll tell you
about that, and doctor Dorothy Jeffries with me Bev Johnson

(04:29):
on the Bev Johnson Show only on Double D.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I A.

Speaker 5 (04:56):
Hi, this is David Porter, and you are listening to
the Queen have t Bev Johnson. She is the one
and only. No one can top her, no one can
stop her, and I'm in love with her.

Speaker 6 (05:07):
You listen to Bev Johnson at w.

Speaker 7 (05:09):
D i A.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
You ne no over the.

Speaker 8 (05:24):
Working hard to break you Outaday never Saveday Day, Good morning,

(05:50):
and welcome back to w d i A.

Speaker 5 (05:53):
It is Friday, Good Friday. Yes, it is April eighteenth,
twenty twenty five. It is also relationship Day, where we
talk about relationships to health, make yours healthy, happy, wholesome, wonderful,
and most of all loving between consenting adult.

Speaker 9 (06:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (06:10):
You know we say that all the time, and we're
doing that with our behavioral and relationship consultant. She's back
in the house, doctor Dorothy Jeffries. Good morning, Doctor Jeffries.
Happy good Friday.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
How you doing, sister, Good morning, and it is so
good to be back in the house. It's been a minute.

Speaker 5 (06:36):
But you know, I tell my listeners, I said, doctor
Jeffries still works, so you be working.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
That is true, That is true.

Speaker 10 (06:44):
Right.

Speaker 5 (06:44):
I love this topic this day, doctor Jeffries. And let
me tell our listeners who are listening. You listen first,
this is the season. I love this, Doctor Jeffries of renewal, reflection,
and growth. So what are your plans and pivot, pass
or play the season of renewal, reflection and growth, And

(07:08):
doctor Jeffrey is a lot of folks need that or
they should be getting into it. I don't know. Let's
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Well, at least we're gonna talk about it, so they
cannot say they didn't know about it.

Speaker 5 (07:19):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
We had an opportunity to make a decision.

Speaker 9 (07:23):
To do something about it, right, that's what we do.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
We give you options.

Speaker 11 (07:27):
Right.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
So, as you were saying, you know, I was trying
to think of something that was related to this season.
It's springtime. Springtime means rebirth. You know, everything is growing,
new and coming out.

Speaker 12 (07:42):
It's a new season.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
It's the new year and what have you. And it's
also a time of the resurrection. And because people focus
on the resurrection, I think that sometimes we miss we
miss the fact that because we were given the chance
more new and different life, many of us fail to

(08:03):
really address what responsibility we have to honor that any
life that you have, any situation that you have, as
long as you are above ground. Then our goal is
to continue growth, to continue to move towards light, to
continue to move towards health and well being, and anything

(08:27):
that we do that detracts from that for ourselves, then
we're not honoring the gift of life nor the opportunity
to improve and better our lives. And I think that
when we seriously understand that once you've been given a gift,
it's not just a gift you put up on the

(08:48):
shelf and once a year we say, oh, we appreciate
that he rose again, and we have you know, the eggs.
Eggs even represent births. Okay, So everything that we're doing
when we need to understand what the customs and the
rituals mean and apply it to the gifts that we have,
that we have to honor each and every day. So

(09:11):
the first part of that is when we talk about
assessing your situation, and I always go back to self
reflection or self assessment because no one is closer to
your truth and what it takes, what you need, what
you desire, what you want, then you are. But one

(09:34):
of the things that we have to begin to do
is tell the truth to ourselves. We become so comfortable
with lying and defrauding and masquerading and hiding behind masks
and you know, sake smiles and stuff with other people

(09:55):
until we lose insight on what is a truth and
so being able to really look at ourselves and say,
am I the best me? Am I really honing the
gifts that I know that I have? Am I doing
the best for myself, for my children, for my family

(10:17):
and my work? Am I growing to show my appreciation
for Like we were talking about before we got on
the areas that we are often in better circumstances than
our brothers and sisters, our neighbors, our friends, our strangers
in our lives, and if we just look around with

(10:38):
understand compared to that, then they're things that may need tweaking.
Some things may need to be adjusted, some things may
need to be eradicated, some things may need to be
coming hand. But if you don't look inside, you don't
know what you have, You can't appreciate what you have,
and you certainly cannot decide should I do something different?

(11:02):
And that's where the topic of pivoting comes in. You know,
when we think about it, we think about on the
basketball court, when you got the ball and you're trying
to make a shot and you don't you know, but
you decide, you make a quick and decisive active and
that's when you go for making the point, the winning point,

(11:23):
or tying up the game, or just staying in the game.
Being able to pivot means that you look at where
you are, You assess what's coming at you, what's behind you,
what you need to do to make a difference, and
then you act decisively because you have reason out there's
some things I can do to change this situation. That's pivoting,

(11:46):
and it's a very apt skill that we all need
to use and use it frequently, so that any skill
you have, the more you use it, the more skillful
you become. Tend to get stuck in muck and mire
because we believe that burdens, downtridness, lacking, missed opportunities, the negativity, darkness,

(12:13):
all of that surrounds us, and so we wander around,
you know, shaking our hands at the sky and crying
and weeping a moment and being stuck in self pity.
But really, if the answer is always inside of you,
that's where the answer and your search for the truth

(12:33):
have to begin. It has to come from you. No
matter how low you are, no matter how down you are,
And we've all had those experiences where we didn't know
where we were going the next day, where we were
gonna do, you know, if this was it for us,
if we were going to be down forever until we
decided I need to stand up, I need to look around.

(12:56):
I need to share this with somebody. I need to pivot,
as see, even if it's my last chance, what can
I do different to make this different from me? I'll stop,
and I know you have some questions.

Speaker 5 (13:09):
I want to go back. And when you talk about pivoting,
is that doctor Jeffries, Are we going to automatic pivot
or that's something that we learn to do.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
You know, that's a very good question. I think that
it's a default action when a we're too lazy to
do something different. We can become so familiar with things
that are not right in our lives that we tend
to adapt to that and expect nothing more and nothing better.

(13:49):
And when we do that, that's exactly what we get.
And a lot of reasons that happens. You know, we
may see generations in our families where they are stuff
and they're lazy about trying to do different or to
get better, or to take a chance, maybe for because
of environmental reasons outside all of the isms, or maybe

(14:13):
it's environmental reasons inside our you know system that kind
of fosters that. But there are people who just decide
this is my lot in life, and so they visibly
give up and they go through life and they catch
hell going through life. But then there are those people,
and you always will find a gem that will rise

(14:35):
to the surface. You see a kid whose parents did
this or were not available, and this kid just focused
on it, if I could just get into get my education,
and they meet a teacher in school who sees that
something in that kid, and then somebody yelse through that
passes a connection. And then on graduation day there's nobody

(14:57):
to see this child graduate. Somebody hears about it and
pays his tuition for college. So, but you have to
put the work in. Nobody was around there telling him.
Get up, you wake yourself up, You get up, you
get dressed, you go to school, you do your work,
you make the best grades you can. People see efforts,

(15:20):
People see somebody who's desirous of change. We have a
saying that says pain will make you move but we
don't finish it. Pain will make you move in one
direction or the other. And what a lot of people
do when they don't recognize or they've become accustomed to
being in pain, they will go towards pain because I'm

(15:44):
used to this. You know, it's not a compliment when
somebody says you have a high tolerance for pain, and
that's emotional and physical pain. But when you say there's
got to be something better than this, there's got to
be an opportunity with my name on it, I'm going
to find it. That's the person who may have made

(16:05):
mistakes and been on drugs, been on substances, been incarcerated,
had too many children that care for have their heartbroken before,
been an abusive relationship, ben the abusive, been incarcerated. But
they decide there's something for me. So before you can

(16:25):
find the opportunity, you have to find the light and
the desire within you. And when you begin to connect
with that light, that's when you can make the decision
is I need to pivot, and I need to pivot
now because we don't get a lot of second opportunities.
Sometimes your intuition will say talk to that person, tell

(16:47):
them what's going on. Don't let them think this about
you when you know that's not true. Don't just sit
there and hear that as they're making false accusations seeing
you in one light, show them, just in this instance,
who you are, and that can be with your child,
with your lover, with your spouse, with your parents, with yourself, anybody.

(17:11):
When you show them where and what's there in you,
then that gives you a glimpse too of what it's
like when you are honest and earnest with yourself, and
that then plants that first seed of change.

Speaker 5 (17:29):
Okay, but also you talked about pivotal and the change again.
We always say you are going to want to make
that change. Nobody can you have to doct Jeff. We
always say you can't change anyone, and no one can
change you. You are the one who has to make the.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Change, absolutely because it's your change. And this is the piece,
This is the secret that people don't follow or connect with.
If you are the catalysts that make other people deal
with you in a specific way, you are also the
catalyst to force them to deal with you in a

(18:09):
different way. So you have to choose how you want
people to view you. Like I was using an example
of don't allow somebody to see you or perceive you
in a erroneous situation or through eyes that are biased.

Speaker 9 (18:25):
To what have you.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
You self correct, and once you self correct, then you
can say to them, hey, wait a minute, you misunderstanding
me or that's not who I am. But you are
the person who has to first recognize that this is
not working for me, and so I'm going to do
things different. I'm gonna learn how to say no to

(18:47):
things that are not in my best interests, to people
who are not in my best interest, to places that
are not good for me, and to things that I
do that keeps me in a situation. Learning to say
no to the negativity is one of the most powerful
things that you can do, but it's also one of
the most scariest because remember I said, people become addicted

(19:09):
to being in a place of passivity, of abuse, of abandonment,
of misuse, and of pain.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
And so when you.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Begin to say no to that, then that opens you
up and you're not sure what's gonna come in your direction,
but I promise you usually what comes is better than
where you being. And there is where you begin that
first step to doing things differently, and each time you

(19:39):
make that step to doing it differently, to say, you know,
to the person you thought you couldn't say no to,
or to say I'd rather not or no, that's not me,
don't address me like that, you know, don't treat me
like that, or I deserve more than that, I need
to earn more than that, I want to be educated
more than that. When you begin to make those kinds

(20:01):
of statement, it forces people to shift, and if that
becomes your pattern, then you can't be used or misused
in the same way that you have been before. And
what you're then able to do is begin to slowly
and consistently withdraw from being familiar with the pain and

(20:23):
the misuse. Because when you see a light of respecting
somebody's eyes or a light of shocking somebody says, hey,
don't talk to me like that.

Speaker 11 (20:32):
I don't deserve that.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Pay attention to how you feel. That's empowerment, that's self empowerment,
and you're beginning to learn how to self correct and
to self direct. When you do that, then you can
meet people where you are one step at a time.
And also that will change the people who feel comfortable

(20:55):
with you because if you're no longer a good time
for doing wrong or hurting or being used and confused,
they're gonna have to move on because you're gonna say
no over and over again, or you don't.

Speaker 11 (21:07):
I don't want you here, I don't need you.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Here, or I don't deserve you and and it's okay,
and it's.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Absolutely absolutely That's why when you self assess, you see
if you see anything you're getting out of being in
those positions where you are subordinated, where you're oppressed, where
you're misused, where you're underestimated, where you're disrespected, where you're
not you know, treated as if you're deserving or worth

(21:38):
If you find anything good in that other than familiararity, painful,
miserable familiar arity, I would like to hear what it is.
But whatever addiction that you have, once you once you
understand the dynamics of your relationship with it and you

(21:58):
then change your training, start by saying I can do
better than this, I need better than this, I want
better than this, and I'm going to get better than this.
That's when conviction comes in because you're slowly saying you
can do this, and you know those people that you've

(22:18):
been pushing out. Some of the right people are coming
in who are going to say, yes, you can do this,
Yes you're better than that, Yes you're lovable yet, but
you have to be in a place to hear it
and recognize, not with somebody saying, oh, beb you can
do this, you're smart, you're worthy and all that, and
in your mind you're saying you don't know me, don't

(22:39):
you know, because then you're still in an argument with
the old person. But when you're able to hear and
focus and say, yes, tell me how I can What
can you do to show me you know some opportunities
or to help me get the opportunities. All I need
is an opportunity and a chance to show you what
I can do. That's a different person than the one

(23:00):
with higher expectations. And the hardest work I think that
we do in mental health is trying to get through
all the pain and the damage that life has layered
onto a person's soul, to their mind, to their self worth,
and reach that part and say there are some gems

(23:22):
headden in here, and because of who you are and
what you've been through, you have no idea what potential
you have. So let's go through this stuff and figure
out how you can make that happen and get them
to hear it and believe you, because at first they're
not going to believe you. You know, what is she
talking about you? She don't know nothing about me, She

(23:43):
don't know nothing about my life. But when you can
tell me about your life, when you can say and
admit to yourself what has hurt you, where you feel
the bends and where you feel neglected, where you feel
like you miss the chance, what mistakes you've made. When
you can tell yourself that, then you can share that
truth with somebody else and they can hear that truth,

(24:06):
and then you have something to work with.

Speaker 5 (24:10):
Love it. So that's and that's how we pivot.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
That's how we pivot to move decisively for change, to
move decisively for change.

Speaker 5 (24:21):
I like that, Doctor Jeffries. If you've just took if
you just tuned in this morning, we are talking with
our behavioral and relationship consultant, doctor Dorothy Jeffries. We're talking
this is the season of renewal, reflection and growth. What
are your plans pivot, pass or play. When we come back,

(24:42):
we'll talk about the past and always if you have
a question for doctor Jeffries, or relationship question. Whatever it is,
Doctor Jeffries will entertain it. Nine zero one five three
five nine three four to two nine zero one, five
three five, nine three four two eight hundred five zero

(25:06):
three nine three four two or eight three three, five
three five nine three four two. And if you can't
call in, you may want to email me your question.
You can do so Bev Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com.
Bev Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com. We're talking relationships on

(25:33):
w d i A the Bevjssial.

Speaker 6 (25:52):
Got something to say? Say it next with Tennessee Radio
Hall of Famer Bev Johnson on d I A.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
You need things, I'm telling you everyone. I seek talking everyone.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
Welcome back to w d i A. We are talking
the season of renewal, reflection and growth. What are your
plans pivot, pass or play. We're talking with our behavioral
relationship consultant, doctor Dorothy Jeffries, doctor Jeffries. I'm going to
our phone lines and talk with Tiffany. Hi, Tiffany, Hello,

(26:56):
I'm doing Yeah, how are you today?

Speaker 12 (26:59):
I'm I'm doing good.

Speaker 13 (27:00):
Friday, I'm doing well.

Speaker 5 (27:02):
All right, Tiffany, what do you say?

Speaker 13 (27:05):
Okay? So my question, well, first I understand the pivot thing.
It has to be a choice that you make. I
get that part. I'm gonna try to break down my
life as far as it's being so trauma just being
of the world for a very long time. My first
change started when my grandpa died in twenty twenty two.

(27:26):
And then the next thing that got me to start
to try and focus and get on the right path
is after my son was kid in twenty twenty three.
The whole time, you know, I had trauma and I
was trying to change to whatever whatever. But in the
midst of me changing or trying to, like God was
trying to get my attention.

Speaker 5 (27:41):
I get that.

Speaker 13 (27:42):
But it's like anytime I made a change for myself
for the better, it would be someone in my family
mostly that would kind of deflect me from getting to
where I was trying to go to. I'm not pointing
blame because it's all on me to push past it.
But my question is with the mental part. I took

(28:03):
went to school for my college Gamma bachelors in it througholities.
I was like, Okay, how am I gonna stay focused
when it comes to you know, just like the human
part of it, because the faith part is there, okay,
but just being a human, how do I? How do you?
How do I stay straight?

Speaker 12 (28:20):
And does it really mess the mess with the mental.

Speaker 13 (28:24):
To the point where it can keep you a in
a stuck face. And it's about how I get out
of it.

Speaker 5 (28:28):
Oh, I love that tiffany thing. And and and because
you've had like you said that you mentioned your grandfather
in twenty twenty two, then your son in twenty three
was killed, So dealing that was I know traumatic for you.
And you're doing and let me ask before you hang up.
And I talked to doctor Jeffries. So these family members,
they don't try to uplift you or what are these

(28:50):
family members trying to do to you or.

Speaker 7 (28:52):
Say to you?

Speaker 13 (28:56):
It was the issue one thing. At one time I
was asked how you doing and I was like, I'm
not okay, And the response was, oh, you are right,
you okay. I'm like, huh okay, okay. That's how we
support each other. Yeah, and grieving, but I just blew

(29:16):
it off and just kept trying to grieve how I
need to. And the only way I'm actually doing it
this praying and trying to stay busy.

Speaker 5 (29:25):
Okay, good for you. Good for you. And do you
have any other people who support you? You have friends
who are supporting.

Speaker 13 (29:32):
You, or do you after my son? Everybody just God
removed everybody and showed me a lot, so it's just me.

Speaker 5 (29:40):
Okay, sweetie, Okay, thank God, bless you.

Speaker 6 (29:43):
Well.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
I'm gonna well, thank you well. And I love your
spunk because you do want to you want to move on,
you want to have a good life, Tiffany. I hear
that in you. Okay, sweetie, listen to doctor Jeffries, thank you,
Happy Easter, and I'll go to doctor Jeffries and see
what she says to you. Okay, thank you, thank you
to oh wow wow, doctor Jeffries. Wile with Tiffany, I.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Feel her griefs and it is still there. And I
do pray that somebody can come into her life that
can befriend her, a good, authentic person that can help
her balance out her life, because you can't just pray
and work. You have to have a balance life in

(30:26):
order to have a balance set of mental health skills
and abilities.

Speaker 11 (30:33):
But in answer to her question, first.

Speaker 1 (30:36):
Of all, like they always said, I commend you for
being courageous enough to say I want to do something
different and making that happen in your life now in
terms of other people, you know what, if you're always
the one who was having trouble and problems and things
are not going right for you, then there are people

(30:59):
that are often surrounding people in those circumstances who feel
better about themselves. It's not right, it's not a good thing,
but they can feel better about themselves at the expense
of their loved ones. You follow me, so, yes, you're

(31:20):
going down and you're having all these problems, but I
always get to be the one who may only be
doing a tad bit more than you or better than you,
but I get to say to you, oh, you need
to stick your chance out and hold your head up
and what have you. And the one thing that when
you lose a child or a parent especially, you know,

(31:44):
when people think, oh, it's God's will, you need to
move on. God knew best. They're in a better place.
All of those are empty, callous words to you because
you're dealing with emotions and hurt and grief right here.
It doesn't matter where they are in the universe. You

(32:07):
warn your loved ones here with you, and that's the
first place that the wound is hurting, okay, particularly if
that was your go to person or the person who
always understood you or who was there for you. So
you have to you have to be careful how you
share yourself with other people and only and limit your

(32:32):
expectations of people who have shown you before of what
they're not capable of giving you. Follow me if I can.
If I cannot hear in your voice when you say
I'm not doing well and coming from you, that means, oh,

(32:53):
this is really a bad day for you, if that's
what you're saying, and then I may say, tell me
about it, you know, or is there anything I can
do or better?

Speaker 13 (33:05):
Yet?

Speaker 1 (33:07):
Is it okay? If I come over if you're at work,
why don't I come over after you finish work and
let's get together. Let's have it. I'll bring dinner and
we will talk, or I'll come over it. We'll just
talk and let you get it off your chest, let
your cry. You can do whatever it is you want to.
I don't know if I have the answers, but I
can be there for you. That's somebody extending themselves and

(33:28):
showing you that they're going out of their comfort level
to be there, because I will tell you as know,
there's a lot of people are and as much as
some people want to tell you everything that they think
you are to know about how to love and how
to grieve and how to lose and how to do better,
most of them are stuck and don't know about pivoting. Okay,

(33:51):
they earn those stripes and they become even more rigid
with it when they can tell you that, and then
you don't say anything or you move yourself away from them. See,
she didn't listen to me. She didn't listen to me.
I was trying to tell her, you know, there's nothing
we can do about that. That's a lack of empathy

(34:12):
and sympathy because they don't have it to give. They
may be doing their own struggle, but they don't share that.

Speaker 9 (34:18):
So it's not easy to do.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
But everybody needs at least one trusted person, yes, one
trusted person that you don't have to do it dressed up.
You don't have to play sames, You don't have to
do anything but just show up and what ugly state
you are, and they will say, come on, bring.

Speaker 11 (34:43):
Your crazy stelf on it.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
What is going on?

Speaker 2 (34:46):
Come on?

Speaker 12 (34:46):
Tim?

Speaker 1 (34:46):
Why didn't you call? You know, and even in their
fus and you can feel the love with them enveloping
you in acceptance. You got to find one trusted person
that you don't have to worry about. Now. I can't
tell they're this much because she gonna tell so and
so or that's the one you can just go out
and do your ugly cry with and get it out.
And they may not be able to say a word,

(35:07):
but just patch you on the back and say it's
gonna be all right. I'm here, I'm here wearing this together, Robert,
And sometimes that's all it needs for you to catch
your breath.

Speaker 5 (35:19):
And doctor Jeffries and that and that trusted and that
trusted person can be a a relative or just a friend, right.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Absolute, absolutely absolute, yeah, absolutely correct, Okay, Okay. It can
be somebody who's a non dress Sometimes it is a relative,
sometimes it's a friends. It may even be a coworker
that you've befriended. But this is the thing. You have
to spend enough time with them and use your intuition

(35:51):
to trust you to make sure that they're authentic. So
that takes some time to grow that level of trust.
You can't and share all of your heartaches and stuff
with just everybody from that's you with that. But the
goal is to be seeking that person for friendship. Friendship,
a beautiful friendship is invaluable, yes, because in relationships, love relationships,

(36:17):
intimate relationship, those people may go and come. But in friendship,
when you got your die hard ride to die, you
know in your corner, you know. And if you say
I did something crazy, okay, do we need gloves and
a shovel or what? You know? I'm with you because

(36:38):
they know they know you and you know them that
you can go to them with everything.

Speaker 5 (36:44):
Okay, very good? All right, hope you're listening. Hope you
heard that, Tiffany. Hold on, doctor Jeffries. I'm going back
to our phone lines. W D I a high caller. Hey, hey, Beverly,
how are you good? Afternoon?

Speaker 9 (37:02):
I'm good on this good Friday.

Speaker 5 (37:05):
Okay, what do you say, Jeffrey, She's doing well? What
do you say?

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Good?

Speaker 4 (37:12):
I kind of want to shed some light on and
maybe do say what I've got to say that may
give some directions to Tiffany. I kind of got in
a little late, but I got in on the park
where she had experienced some family death, yes, and apparently

(37:35):
had caused her, you know, some stress and feelings of
isolation and things of that sort.

Speaker 13 (37:41):
Is that correct.

Speaker 5 (37:42):
That's correct?

Speaker 4 (37:43):
Okay, Well, I want to tell Tiffany that I somewhat
experienced that too. I lost three family members within about
eighteen months.

Speaker 5 (37:56):
And that calls me Beverly. One second, can you get
off the speakerphone so doctor Jeffers can hear you clearly? Oh,
because she's on the other you know, she's on the phone.
So yeah, can you get off the speakerphone. Okay, that's
better so she can hear you.

Speaker 13 (38:10):
Yeah, yeah, okay, all right.

Speaker 4 (38:12):
I want to tell Tiffany that I experienced some family
deaths also, with them appeared probably sixteen months. I might
had a sister to pass, and then I had my
mother's health was declined, and so I was my older
sister that passed.

Speaker 13 (38:30):
She was kind of my support person in helping.

Speaker 4 (38:34):
With my mom. Then she passed, so I was along
with having to you know, kind of see after my mom.

Speaker 13 (38:41):
Then about I.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
Guess eight months later, my mom passed, and then six
months after that, my mother in law passed, So our
family was it was it was a very hard time
in twenty twenty two, twenty twenty two. Oh, that year
was something. But anyway, I learned a lot from it.

(39:04):
But in getting through it, it was hard.

Speaker 5 (39:09):
You know.

Speaker 4 (39:10):
It took therapy, and it took medication, and it took
a lot, a lot of prayer.

Speaker 13 (39:18):
But I finally got enough energy to decide.

Speaker 4 (39:24):
I got a final place where I can go and
be around people that can.

Speaker 13 (39:32):
Help bring me some joy.

Speaker 4 (39:36):
And thank God, the Lord led me to a place
that I have been attending. Is a senior community center
near where I live. Not the one that I used
to go to, but this one is close to where
I live. These people at this center are so welcoming,

(39:57):
They are so can they are so loving, we have
so much fun. I go there twice a week, and
it is therapy for me. It is therapy. I'm telling you,
it is therapy, therapy, therapy. I just look forward to it.

(40:18):
I feel excited about going. I feel excited when I
come home and the day is ending and I reflect
back on all the fun and all the good times
that we have. And the people are all positive people.
We don't sit around and talk about negative stuff and
our problems and our issues. We just laugh and just

(40:40):
have a good time, and we dance, and we listen
to music and we play games, and that has really
helped me. So I want to tell Tiffany and suggest
to Tiffany, find you a place to go to so
you can be around positive people, you know, even if
they have to be new people, because all.

Speaker 13 (41:00):
These people were new to me. They were new, they
were new.

Speaker 4 (41:05):
And if she could do that, get around some people,
some new people that got different personalities and maybe the
same interest that you have and can make you laugh
and make you feel good. And that's one of the
ways that hopefully that will help you to move on.

Speaker 13 (41:22):
And enjoy this beautiful life that God wants us to have.
He wants us to have joy on earth, not just
when we get to heaven that might.

Speaker 4 (41:31):
Not come in.

Speaker 11 (41:34):
Thank you, Bye bye.

Speaker 5 (41:35):
Doct Jeffreys. I want you to reflect on what what
Beverly said, because I think she made a good suggestion.
What do you say.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
I think there was an excellent suggestion. The only thing
that you know, Beverly is going to a senior citizen.
Tiffany sounded a little bit younger than that, but and
I'm not aware of a group which would be wonderful
for a group of people, particularly women. Maybe men and

(42:03):
women could get together, adults, middle aged adults or you know,
maybe from forty to fifty five or something and do
similar things. You know, just find activities trips that they
can do together, you know, just socializing and it. And

(42:23):
right now with you know, there's very limited funding and
stuff to set those kind of things up. But we
may have to do what we had to do before
there was funding. People in the community who just decide
this is something we want to do and make it happen,
you know, just start inviting or could have a thing
and meet and just get to know some different people

(42:48):
and let the group grow and decide. And I always
go back to our women's group because remember when we
started the women's group, it was for women black women
to to just this sort of thing. We didn't have
an age limit on it. But so many people discouraged
me from trying to do that because they kept saying,

(43:09):
and a lot of them were black women, So you're
not gonna get us to come to no group and
talk about or tell our business and stuff. And how
many years did we meet? Yes, and not only that,
we committed and we met once a week and the
group met even when all of us could not be there,

(43:31):
and we never ever had any infractions within that group.
We never had anybody violate a confidence in that group
that I am aware of or any other member yes,
ever made me aware of. And the group laughed, you know,
d the time that it was. That was effective, and

(43:54):
I'm very proud of that work, and that was a
community effort.

Speaker 5 (43:57):
Yes well. And even doctor Jeffers, even when you last Memphis,
when you moved to Seattle, I continued to have a
group and women came and the women black women came to.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
The group exactly exactly, and we moved from a place
to place. The first place that we met was when
Herbert had a church in white Haven.

Speaker 7 (44:22):
He invited us over.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
There to use that space once a week and we
had men and women and couples meetings over there. But
the women's group also met when white Haven had the
Children and Youth Center over in Manassas Street.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
So, and then when we.

Speaker 14 (44:38):
Got our own office in Jermy, when we got the office,
yes we did, that was the last place that it met, yes,
and so uh yeah, And it was very very affective
because it was a place and.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Three rules you could not challenge or questioned any anybody
who was sharing their story. You could not judge anybody
for their situation, and you had to maintain confidence of
the group. Those are the only things that could get
you excluded or invited out.

Speaker 9 (45:10):
Of the group.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Yes, you could always come and there was no you
had to meet a certain amount of time or any
of that. You know, you could show up one and
there were people would show up once a month, there
were people would show up every week and sometimes every
several months. But it was a mental health resource, Yes
it was.

Speaker 5 (45:29):
And I want to bring that up because and I
want to bring this up because I forgot to mention
this doctor Jefferys. On Tomorrow, Norman Redwing at the African Village,
they're doing their counseling and therapists Johnny L. Rod will
be there and as Norman said, it's confidential and judge
and he's in the group. So, Tiffany, there's a group
happening tomorrow, twelve twenty five Voluntine at the African Village.

(45:53):
Therapists Joony Elrod will be there and they're starting at
two o'clock. So that may be something that you meant
they want to pursue as well.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
I encourage her to go and check it out, because
our mental health resource is a gift. So if you
have a chance, even just to talk one time, take
advantage of that.

Speaker 5 (46:14):
Yes, yes, and that's tomorrow two o'clock, twelve twenty five.
Valentine Norman red Wing at the African Village and their
therapist is Joni Elrod And and I understand they do
good group, doctor Jeffries, and it's confidential, as Norman says, so,
and I think they meet on the third Saturday of

(46:34):
each month or something like that. But anyway, it's good.
So we suggest that hold on, doctor Jeffries. Hold on, fellas,
I am going to get to you. Take this break
and we will continue our topic of conversation. We are
talking renewal, reflection and growth. What are your plans pivot,
pass or play. We're talking with our behavioral and relationship consultant,

(46:59):
doctor Dorty Jeffries. We are getting ready y'all to go
to the other side of the BEB Johnson Show right
here on dou w d i A The BEVJ Justin Show.

Speaker 15 (47:22):
Whether you're in Arkansas, Tennessee, or Mississippi on Facebook, Twitter
or Instagram. Thank you for listening. To the Bev Johnson
Show on dou W d I A Memphis.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Be Justin Show, Bell Johns Memphis talking all away, help
you go, you go so getting ready.

Speaker 16 (48:08):
In time?

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
We make gorday by here to listen to. What to say?

Speaker 3 (48:26):
You know, it's time of the belt sto lucky, Let's go.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
I like it.

Speaker 5 (48:34):
On this good Friday, Friday, April eighteenth, twenty twenty five,
it is Relationship Day, where we talk about relationships to
help make yours healthy, happy, wholesome, wonderful, and most of
all loving between consenting adults. We're doing that with our
behavioral and relationship consultant, doctor Dorothy Jeffreys. We are talking

(48:55):
of the season of renewal, reflection, and growth. What are
your plans pivot, pass or play. We will get back
to doctor Jeffries. Hold on, Fellers, we will get to
you lunchtime around in the city on this good Friday.
And it's good because I want you to know about
my place, the Rocking Chair of Memphis fifteen forty two,

(49:16):
Elvis Presley, where we rock with the best soul food
in town, best entertainment around and today at the Rocking Chair,
you can dine in or take out. Get catfish, a
buffalo fish, fried chicken, pot rose, Yeah, smoked turkey, Nicks,
baked chicken, smothering pork, chopped fried pork, chops, hamburger, steak,

(49:37):
miss and chiselins. An assortment of vegetables and desserts you
can get at the Rocking Chair fifteen forty two Elvis Presley.
You can dine in or you can take out nine
zero one four two five five two sixty four for
two five five two sixty four. They'll be serving food

(49:58):
until five o'clock this evening, six o'clock they open their
doors back open. Well, karaoke, Yeah, you know how to sing?
You think you can sing with a band? Yeah? On
Friday night it's karaoke with the band. Yeah yeah, So
go on there and E B. T will be there.
DJ you're there. But you know you think you can sing? Folks, Nick,

(50:19):
they can sing, but can you sing with a band.
It's happening tonight at the Rocking Chair this good Friday.
Doors will open at six o'clock. And don't forget on
Sunday it's Easter. The Rocking Chair will be closed, y'all.
It's closed on Easter and also on Saturday. Or you
need some catering, call them four two five five two

(50:42):
six four. They will cater your meal for this weekend
if you need something to have for Easter. But the
Rocking Chair, y'all will be closed on Easter. Okay, open
the doors tonight, karaoke at the band six o'clock, get
your dinner til five o'clock. Yeah, that's my place, The
Rocking Chair, Memphis, fifteen forty two, Elvis Presley, dine in

(51:04):
or take out, and when you go there, y'all tell
him Bev Johnson sent you to the Rocking Chair of
Memph Fasts. Doctor Jeffries. I'm going back to our phone lines,
and I'm talking with Frank. Thank you Frank for waiting.

(51:27):
What do you say, Hey, Frank.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Lost?

Speaker 5 (51:36):
Okay, yeah, okay, Frank, I was getting ready to hang up. Yeah,
what do you say? Okay?

Speaker 9 (51:43):
What are you doing?

Speaker 5 (51:44):
I'm doing well, Frank. How about you?

Speaker 9 (51:47):
The first thing that comes to my mind is these
three things. I would never leave you, a forsake you
and the seth I'm thinking you my family is the
family that's doing the will of the Lord.

Speaker 12 (52:04):
And the third thing that comes to my mind.

Speaker 9 (52:09):
Is, uh, come on now, boom boom pool you know,
you know that de have always been them all in
the road. But anyway, yeah, anyway, let me let me
say this. I asked for my wife and it's been beautiful.
It's not a day go by that that that that

(52:30):
that the romance. The I mean, every day seemed like
a new day with this woman. I mean, it's unbelievable.
When you put time to see, time is everything, and
and and and everything. If you don't give it the
time it needs, is gonna venture off. It's just that simple.

(52:54):
The best thing that anybody could do within any kind
of relationship is that when you do make up your
mind for a relationship, do it for real. Don't don't
look for motives and look for other little things and
other little things. Uh, when when you're gonna get paid

(53:16):
how much they make? Who he got big diamonds on?
She got?

Speaker 1 (53:20):
Who?

Speaker 9 (53:21):
She got a brand?

Speaker 5 (53:22):
News?

Speaker 9 (53:22):
And say this, but just that them folks stuff them
folks didn't get that stuff by being stupid. That they
ain't finna be stupid for you and and and and
just give it to you. Look at a person for
who they is and what's coming out their mouth, whatever
come out of personal mouth. That's who they is. I mean,

(53:43):
conversation is everything and and and don't ignore it, because that's.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
Who he is.

Speaker 9 (53:48):
Whatever folks out of his mouth, whatever going on with
his eyes when y'all sitting and he's looking at them
other women and boom.

Speaker 12 (53:55):
That's who that, that's who he is.

Speaker 11 (53:57):
Now.

Speaker 9 (53:58):
If you think you can break that, you the food,
you ain't God, You ain't gonna. If God give man
and woman free, will, you ain't finna come in there,
and you're gonna.

Speaker 7 (54:07):
Mess it up.

Speaker 9 (54:08):
Because if a person don't feel comfortable, they're gonna give.
They're gonna believe from around you anyway, because that's gonna
make someone uncomfortable if you try to change them. They
can't look no more. They can't do this, can't do that.
Either you accept it and stay there or and then
you're a food anyway, because that's not a relationship for

(54:30):
another man to be lustering after somebody else or in
any or a friend, I mean friendship is it goes
the same way. Whatever you're looking for in a friend.
If it ain't there, move home.

Speaker 5 (54:43):
Well, Frank, on this good Friday. You gave us some
good wisdom. Thank you, Frank.

Speaker 9 (54:49):
That third one there's dam of God. That's the third one.

Speaker 5 (54:54):
All right, Thank you, Frank, thank you, good wisdom, Doctor Jefferson, unforgetful.

Speaker 7 (55:00):
Beth Jones, you got a wonderful show going on.

Speaker 11 (55:02):
And I believe with Frank everything he said because he writes.
And doctor Jeffrey, I don't just want to ask him
a question. And uh, and I hope you can answer
the two bath jumpers. Why is it that some women
get so offended when a man says certain things to her,
like he got some bit pretty beautiful legs, or called

(55:24):
her baby or baby doll or whatever like that, oh
even baby girl.

Speaker 7 (55:29):
Why don't some women get so offended with their bath
jumps because in my generation I thought that was a compliment.

Speaker 11 (55:35):
It just seems like women have changed and men don't
even know they place anymore. I mean, And another thing,
Beth John is talking to one of your calls, kipching it.
Let me tell you, let me take some baby girl,
the devil the spirit because it's all about speriality with me.

Speaker 7 (55:58):
He did want the spirits or around in your baby girl,
and they want you to do the wrong thing.

Speaker 12 (56:03):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (56:04):
You have to take control of your life.

Speaker 11 (56:08):
Don't go looking for something. You know what I'm saying,
don't have people have you in a way that makes
you feel good.

Speaker 7 (56:16):
You know, all that joy and stuff, saying your own joy,
saying it yourself, you were saying it.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
I got you.

Speaker 5 (56:27):
You don't understand, but I will ask doctor Jeffries that question. Unforgiven.

Speaker 7 (56:32):
Yes, no'am' what's another thing, Best Johnson?

Speaker 12 (56:37):
Why is it that?

Speaker 7 (56:38):
Uh, most women today.

Speaker 11 (56:42):
I want to seem like take control of things.

Speaker 9 (56:45):
You know, I mean you know what do you things?

Speaker 7 (56:50):
Yes, ma'am, I mean you know, it's getting to a
point where it's.

Speaker 11 (56:53):
Not I grew up in a generation where man's used
to say it's not lady like. You know what I'm saying,
it's not ladyl like.

Speaker 5 (57:01):
Okay you think so, okay, we're talking.

Speaker 11 (57:04):
It's not ladylight now us man's I don't understand.

Speaker 7 (57:07):
We just didn't understand.

Speaker 11 (57:09):
We lost our plate. I'm not saying women don't know
their play. I'm just saying when man's.

Speaker 5 (57:15):
Have Okay, we'll address that. Unforgetful, Okay, thank you on forgetting.

Speaker 7 (57:22):
Thank you.

Speaker 5 (57:23):
I'm forgetful, Happy Happy Friday, and I'll get doctor Jefferys.
I'm before I get I mean, before I go to
doctor Jefferies. I'm right on these down, doctor Jefferies.

Speaker 2 (57:32):
Let me go here. Father, hold while we're white, dude,
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (57:38):
Father.

Speaker 12 (57:39):
Oh, girls, somethings gonna happen.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
Good.

Speaker 16 (57:42):
You know when we get together, that's gonna be a boom.
That's right, you right, information on the Goal and Bill
that was so nice, uh and so wonderful y'all long
time ago when y'all decided to have.

Speaker 10 (57:54):
A relationship show, because.

Speaker 9 (57:56):
That's that's I mean, that's a whole lot of relationship.

Speaker 13 (57:59):
Do you unders saying what.

Speaker 4 (58:01):
The aliens have on the earth?

Speaker 10 (58:03):
It's about sexual reproduction and not only in mankind or whatever,
the woman and animals, insects, So we were really being
dominated by alien forces.

Speaker 9 (58:16):
But I like it.

Speaker 11 (58:17):
I like, hey, what right do it?

Speaker 1 (58:21):
So? Uh?

Speaker 16 (58:22):
Anyway, Bell, I appreciate what you and doctor Jeffers are
doing for people, for the ones who can can can
gravitate toward that, because some of the folks seem like
they're so negative.

Speaker 9 (58:32):
And in men what what what?

Speaker 16 (58:35):
What is the point you took grab holding that you
can you got this enough to gravitate towards So anyway,
for the people who are owned up in order Togo. Congratulations,
you're on the right road. And I appreciate doctor Jeffers
for helping us. And I hope y'all appreciate me.

Speaker 13 (58:51):
You know, it ain't nothing like me, right and.

Speaker 5 (58:53):
You right, father, and doctor Jeffers and I we appreciate
your father. Thank you, father.

Speaker 13 (58:58):
Okay, y'all have a good meal.

Speaker 16 (59:00):
Talk about me one of y'all.

Speaker 12 (59:01):
You take good devil.

Speaker 5 (59:01):
Okay, bye, father. W D I a high caller.

Speaker 12 (59:08):
Hey bell, How you doing?

Speaker 5 (59:09):
Hey coming man? How are you all right?

Speaker 12 (59:13):
I'm doing baying hello to doctor Jefferson. I got a
question for doctor Jeffers, right quick bill, okay, uh Hi,
doctor Jeffers, I'm gonna ask you. I have a friend
that not long ago, probably about five months ago, lost
her mother, and of course she's the she's dealing with
the process of grieving.

Speaker 10 (59:33):
Uh.

Speaker 12 (59:33):
But what I'm trying to figure out is this. I understand,
you know, people grieve in different ways, different amounts of hands,
all those type of things. But we may be together
talking or whatever on the phone and coincidentally, you know,
her mother comes up. You know, I may say, so,
what's been doing? How you doing?

Speaker 6 (59:51):
Today.

Speaker 12 (59:52):
Oh, I'm all right, you know, I was just getting
some clothes together, some of my mama clothes whatever. And
she'll speak shortly.

Speaker 9 (59:58):
About her mother. But then and then she began to.

Speaker 12 (01:00:01):
Get upset and talking about her mother, she become like angry,
you know, and you know, she's begin you know, saying
like she missed her mother. You know, I wish she
was still here. I remember we used to do this
and do that and have good times and whatnot. And
then she has just become angry in the process of
speaking about her mother. I'm sure it's connected to the

(01:00:22):
emotions and things like that.

Speaker 5 (01:00:24):
What does she angry about? I mean when you say
she gets angry.

Speaker 12 (01:00:27):
And that's what I'm trying to figure out. No, not
that anybody just just in the conversation of speaking about
her mother. Oh okay, she just becomes uh huh, she
becomes angry and talking about her mom. So I think
I think it's probably a matter her missing her and
the emotions of the love that she had for her
mother and Whatnotuh. But that's why I want to ask

(01:00:47):
doctor Jeffers, where does that anger come from. She seems
to be depressed, you know, and things like that. And
it's almost like it's affecting her mentally, you know. And
you know I listened to well, I listen to it
the best I can. I never shut it down or
nothing like that, but I know it's not nothing I
can specifically do to push her through that grieving. But

(01:01:11):
can you explain to me whether that anger comes from
I hate to use the word anger, but it does
seem to be anger. But it's not toward nobody or
nothing like that. It's just about when you think about
a mom or speaking about her mom.

Speaker 5 (01:01:24):
Okay, all right, common are you appreciate you?

Speaker 13 (01:01:28):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:01:30):
And doctor Jeffries will start with common man's first question.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Well, you know, anger is a very common emotion when
people are processing grief, and other people may not be
able to understand it because on one hand, you love
the person, but there are a lot of I mean,
there are a lot of complex emotions that come into
losing someone that.

Speaker 9 (01:01:54):
You deeply care about.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Anger comes in when you may be angry with the
person because you feel they left you consciously and maturely.
You understand they may have had no choice in going
through illness or what have you, but there's still the
feeling of anger. Or you know, why did you leave me?
Some people get angry at God when they talk about that,

(01:02:19):
why did you take mine? And you feel in the
blank for and then they may be angry at themselves.
I didn't spend enough time with you.

Speaker 13 (01:02:28):
Did I do all I could for you?

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Did I give you the best that I can? You know, whatever?
But it's still all the process of trying to manage
to hurt. And when people get stuck at certain levels,
then it becomes complicated grief. And I think one of
the most complicated relationships, well two of the most is
when a person loses a child or loses a parent,

(01:02:53):
and people coming and things come into play with the
history of the child, and then with the history with
the parent, and then how they feel about it, whether
it was, you know, a good relationship or a bad relationship.
It's a very complex thing and so the emotions just
go all over the place, and some people even have

(01:03:14):
to see counseling in order to manage the journey through that,
and it's not an easy task to do. Very few
people get over the loss of a parent or a
child within a year. Sometimes it takes several years to
get over it. Of course, the degreef ebbs and flows
so that you're not like it just happened. And then

(01:03:35):
sometimes people do have breakthrough moments. So just be patient
and listen and don't judge a movements, because when we judge,
we tried to fix it, you know, like, why are
you angry? What is it?

Speaker 5 (01:03:49):
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
What did your mom do? Mom may have done nothing
but passed on, you know, or maybe they did have
some business that was unfinished and what have you. But she,
with the assistance when needed, can process it, you know,
and just be a good friend and listen.

Speaker 5 (01:04:06):
Okay, And I'm forgetful wanting to know Doctor jeffries why
women get offended when men say baby girl, or this,
or you got some big legs or stuff. And he
thought that that was compliments, But some women get offended.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
Most women would get offended because there was a personal
Those are personal observations that I may not know you
well enough for or even being comfortable enough for you
to objectify me, you know, and that's when people seek
out body parts or the way you look and all

(01:04:44):
of that. It may be a compliment, but it has
to be done in a way that is mature and
with the nest, you know. Referring to someone's legs. That's
not with the net, you know, just say to the person,
I think you're a very attractive person. Blah blah blah.

(01:05:05):
You you know, most women don't even want to hear
that the first time you meet them, because you know
they want you to acknowledge other things about them too.
You know, I'm an intelligent, grown woman. I personally do
not like the tone baby girl, no matter what age.
I am, right, you know that is offensive. I'm a

(01:05:27):
grown woman, you know, so the way you would treat
a baby girl. You know if I called you baby man,
you know, come in, little boy and let me talk
to you, men would get kicked off. You got to
hear what you say and think about who's receiving it,
and then a better trick, play it back to yourself.
As if somebody said that to you, I'm forgetful. Come here,

(01:05:50):
baby boy, let me tell you. Let me tell me.
If you listen to me, you would be offended, and
rightfully so, I know you're a grown man and intelligent man.
You know what common sense and you know, I don't
know what you look like, but I'm assuming you know
that you are a good looking man. You know, so
just think about what you say before you say it.

Speaker 5 (01:06:13):
Okay, all right, doctor Jeffries. Before I take this break,
I want to go into we talked, We've talked about pivot.

Speaker 1 (01:06:21):
What about the past, the past that you know the
past is when you come to the point you've made
a decision. I need to move on. I'm passing this on.
I'm letting this go. I'm moving forward. I'm walking by it,
I'm walking out of it. I'm passing on having this

(01:06:42):
in my environment and my life and my heart and
my head in my mouth. You know, I'm not gonna
talk about this all the time. I'm not gonna think
about this all the time. I'm not gonna worry about
this all the time. Or whatever it is that's holding
you back, and it can't be peace. Places and things
if it's the place come up when you pivot. Part

(01:07:05):
of the pivot includes looking for how you can best
change your environment that helps you become to feel like
a better person. To enjoy your environment, to enjoy where
you live, where you interact with the people, you engage
with the things that you do, The ability to have

(01:07:26):
peace and sanctuary when you are at home and with
your loved ones and what have you. You get to
make the decision what contributes to that peace and harmony
in your life, and allowing other people to direct that
or to influence that often creates conflict or it leaves

(01:07:47):
you in I can't make up my own mind, or
in a victim's move, and then it's somebody else's solved
when it doesn't give you what it is you want
to need. Remember, the first lesson is you are the
best person who knows the truth about what it is
you want and need and how far you're willing to
go and how much it means to you.

Speaker 9 (01:08:08):
That's you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:09):
You are the author of all of that. So passing
it on. I'm going to pass on this.

Speaker 12 (01:08:15):
I'm not gonna take it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
This is not going to be something that's going.

Speaker 9 (01:08:19):
To be in my world anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:08:21):
Ah, pass it on, passing on. I'm passing on this,
all right, I got you.

Speaker 5 (01:08:27):
Hold on, Doctor Jeffries. Will continue and when we come back,
we'll talk about play. We are talking this day. It's
the season of renewal, reflection and growth. What are your
plans pivot, pass or play. We're talking with doctor Dorothy
Jeffries our behavioral and relationship consultant with me Bev Johnson

(01:08:48):
right here on w.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
D I A.

Speaker 5 (01:08:52):
The bevj sayshow.

Speaker 6 (01:09:05):
Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to the Queen of Talk,
Bev Johnson.

Speaker 1 (01:09:10):
On w d I A.

Speaker 15 (01:09:50):
You're listening to the Bev Johnson Show. Here's Bev Johnson and.

Speaker 5 (01:09:55):
We're talking with doctor Jeffries, and doctor Jeffries will hit
the last one. Call play? What do we need to
know about play?

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
Play means you've made a decision that you want to grow,
that you are focused on increasing your overall development and
life and help your wealth, your well being, your mental, physical, educational, vocational,
whatever areas that you have identified would enhance your skills

(01:10:29):
and abilities and willingness to create a better and different
life for yourself. It requires something that you want to
do that you can envision yourself doing. You want to play.
It's like the playoffs. Now you've learned how to pivot,
you've learned how to pass, you've eliminated some things, You've
been inviting some new and different types of experiences in

(01:10:51):
your life. Now you have your cards lined up to play.
You've got to win in hand. Here the key here,
do you have the willingness to continue doing the self
assessed assessments and self reflection and self corrections so that
you don't get off journey or off of your goals.

(01:11:12):
Do not allow old experiences to come in and lure
you back. You know, we tend to be sentimental and
sometimes and we'll decide, I'll give him or her one
more chance. It's been a while, maybe they've changed, they
said they changed, you know, or I haven't met that
other person he had so one monly, so I'll try this.

(01:11:34):
That kind of backwards or past thinking often undermines present
and future goals. The key here is you have to
play with decisiveness. You made a decision, you have a goal,
you see it, you envision it, it's on your vision board.

Speaker 9 (01:11:52):
With perception.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
You know exactly what you want to do to feel
and become successful, and you have to commit to make
it so to make it happen, to do it step
by step because that's your focus.

Speaker 5 (01:12:09):
Oh okay, so that's the play.

Speaker 1 (01:12:12):
That's the play you come to play and to slay
and I like that, that's my cool answer.

Speaker 5 (01:12:20):
Yeah, I love that. I love that play. Then you
slay so and that should help you because that's all
part again, Dr Jeffries, of the renewal, the reflection, and
then the growth.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
Absolutely, we owe ourselves the honor of being blessed enough
to be here. Let's use it. Let's show our gratitudes,
and let's make it something that we're proud of, that
we're content with, that we're happy with. You know that
we enjoyed waking up every day something to look forward to,
so you could jump up every day getting ready to

(01:12:57):
do the things that you want to do and be
with the people that you want to be. That is
a blessing. But sometimes we have to help our blessings
come to creation. All right, right, So this is a
plan for it. It's an outline if you will.

Speaker 5 (01:13:11):
Okay, well you broke it down for a system.

Speaker 1 (01:13:17):
To make it plain that Malcolm would say, make it.

Speaker 5 (01:13:19):
Plane, make it plain as good. And so again, doctor Jeffries,
you know, we hope on you think about on this
good Friday, that we can renew all our life. We
can reflect back and then there is some growth. Because
I always say, as we get older, there should some wisdom.
Should you know, some wisdom should be there somewhere in

(01:13:42):
your life, Doctor Jeffery, It should.

Speaker 1 (01:13:44):
Be you know the thing about it. It's like the
people that keep walking down that sidewalk that's got that
big hole that's about sixteas from where you start, and
you fall into that same old every day. You haven't
learned things right. You have not learned to thing. And
this is an accountability exercise now too, because if you

(01:14:05):
do put it in play, then you can make some
changes and make a better life for yourself. If you
choose not to pass and not to pivot, and just
not to play or to play on default, then you
will get exactly what you have put into it right
where you are, right.

Speaker 9 (01:14:25):
So it's up to you.

Speaker 5 (01:14:28):
I was just gonna say that you took the words.
It's up to you, y'all. Right, Yeah, that Jeffrey works hard,
so y'all can make a better life for yourself than
what you have left in this life. And you right,
doctor Jeffery. We should enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
There should be some joy and I want I want
my people to have all the joy they can stand
to hold. All right, but you got to get busited.

Speaker 5 (01:14:54):
Grab it sounds good. Any other words, doctor Jeffers, you'd
like to tell our listeners on this good Friday, I
would like to.

Speaker 1 (01:15:03):
Wish everybody to have a safe and love it and happy,
reflective Pisis Easter. Be with your family and friends. You know,
I know you can't afford eggs, but you get those
plastic eggs, you right down to them.

Speaker 5 (01:15:18):
Eggs are going up, sister.

Speaker 11 (01:15:20):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (01:15:21):
You can't even buy the eggs beaters now because they
went up too. So get some little plastic things from
the dollar store. Put the children something and they don't care.
They just want to find some eggs.

Speaker 9 (01:15:30):
Yeah, you got that right.

Speaker 5 (01:15:32):
Since I like that, jeff So we wish you a
happy Easter as well, Doctor Jefferson. Always, thank you, just
yes for just sharing with us and helping us to
be better, and especially as we look at our mental health,
because that's important.

Speaker 12 (01:15:51):
That's what we do.

Speaker 1 (01:15:52):
Bell and thank you for having me, and I look
forward to seeing you again soon.

Speaker 5 (01:15:57):
All right, we talk next week, sister on the radio.
On the radio, doctor Dorothy Jeffreys. Joh, thank you, doctor Jeffries.

Speaker 1 (01:16:07):
All righty, take care now YouTube bye bye bye bye.

Speaker 5 (01:16:10):
That is our behavioral and Relationships consultant, doctor did Dorothy Jeffries.
If you miss something, go onto my podcast this evening
and later on and listen to doctor Jeffries and so
you will know about renewal, reflection and growth. What are
your plans pivot, pass or play and don't forget. At

(01:16:34):
the African Village tomorrow they're having a counseling session for
those who are grieving and trauma and all that at
twelve twenty five Valentine. Street therapist Joni Lrod will be there.
Norman Redwing, it's confidential. Go there, get a little counseling.
You need somebody to talk to. Tomorrow be a good
place for you to do it. At the African Village,

(01:16:56):
twelve twenty five, Valentine. It has been a good week
this week. Yeah, thank y'all. I want to thank you callers.
I want to thank you listeners for joining us this
day on the Bev Johnson Show. We do, we really
do appreciate you. So until tomorrow, please be safe, keep

(01:17:22):
a cool hed y'all. Don't let anyone steal your joy
until tomorrow. I'm Bev Johnson and y'all keep the faith
and happy East to y'all. Mark Baker, take me home, boyfriend.

Speaker 12 (01:17:43):
The views and opinions discussed on The Bev Johnson Show
are that of the hosts and callers and not those
of the staff and sponsors of WDIA, to make