June 5, 2026 • 52 mins
We're talking "Soft Comittments" with Dr. Dorothy Jeffries , Behavioral Relationship Consultant on The Bev Johnson Show on WDIA Radio.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Be Justin Show, Bell Tumps This Talking and home Away,
Help you go, you go Son't getting ready in time show.
Let's go Bell Justin will make your day by here
(00:27):
you day.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Listen to one.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
To say, you know it's time of the bel just Show,
the Mountain Show, Lucky.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
We are rocking and rolling on this Friday, June fifth,
twenty twenty six. It's a Friday. Yeah, yes it is
around here. Welcome back to the Rev. Johnson Show. It's
Relationship Day where we talk about relationships to help make
yours healthy, wholesome, wonderful, and most of all loving between
(01:03):
considering adults. Will do that with our behavioral relationship consultant,
doctor Dorothy Jeffries coming out. But before that, you know,
I have to tell you about my place. I'm talking
about the Rocking Chair of Memphis, where we rock with
the best soul food in town, best entertainment around fifteen
(01:24):
forty two Elvis Presley, dine in or you can take out.
Nine zero one four two five five two sixty four
is the number to the Rocking Chair where you can
get some good soul food today up until five o'clock. Yeah,
well they'll shut down and then I'll open back up
this evening and for a little fun with the best
(01:45):
entertainment around with DJ e b. T is the Karaoke Friday.
Yeah yeah, you think you can sing with a band
of karaoke, Well, come on out this evening to the
Rocking Chair of Memphis fifteen Elvis Freshley and we rock
with the best entertainment around. And we're excited about Sunday, y'all.
(02:08):
The Rocking Chaer of Memphis and the Ladies of the Chair.
It's their first annual step out with President Jackie Lott.
Was up, Jackie, the President of the Ladies of the
Rocking Cheer. Their very special guest on Sunday evening is
Jay One. Yeah, jy one will be in the house
to have that great entertainment for you. Y'all know Jay One,
(02:31):
I got this record. Yeah, he's gonna have some good
records seeing on Sunday evening at the Rocking Cheers. So
it's gonna be live music, great food, fun. All you
need tickets. All you need to do is go to
my Rocking Chair dot com, my Rocking Chair dot com,
or you can call nine zero one seven one eight
(02:55):
nine three seven four nine zero one seven one eight, nine, three,
seven four when the Ladies of the Rocking Chair their
first annual step out with Little Pyt Jay one Sunday,
June seventh. Doors will open up at seven o'clock on Sunday,
(03:16):
So get that in mine and on Sunday you can
get your Sunday dinner like I always do after church.
And they're gonna have some ox tails. What you like
ox tails. They're putting ox tails on the menu hopefully,
so they'll have those on Sunday at the Rocking Chair
of Memphis. But don't forget the Ladies of the Chair
their first annual step Out featuring Jay one Sunday, June seventh,
(03:41):
beginning at seven pm. Doors will open so and host it,
i should say, hosted by me BEB Johnson. I'll be
there with my Little Pyt Jay one and the Ladies
of the Chair and President Jackie Lott. So if you
want the best soul food in town, best entertainment around,
go to the Rocking Chair of Memphis fifteen forty two
(04:03):
Elvis Presley. And when you go there, you all know
what to say. Don't add anything else with it. The
BEV Johnson sent you to the Rocking Chair of Memphis. Yeah,
we're gonna have fun on Sunday night. I can't wait.
I'm gonna have fun right now because back in the house,
(04:23):
she asks patients, I just love our relationship Behavioral Relationship
consulted my good friend, doctor Dorothy Jeffries. Good morning to you,
doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Good morning, miss Johnson. I am feeling well today. How
about you.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I'm feeling well to you? Sounding well, doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
It is this is the pretty day here. Sunshine and
flowers blooming, the birds of singing. That's all I ask for.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That's all we need, doctor Jefferies. That's all we need.
Absolutely well this morning, doctor Jefferies. Well now it's afternoon.
We want to talk about soft commitments. Have you all
heard about that. Well, this is a new thing with
young people and some old people to doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Soft commitments.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, soft commit when they put soft in front of commitments.
So let's talk about soft commitments.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Do you know what The thing that interests me about
this one is that they're always taking something traditional. I'm
talking about young people and this comes from young people. This,
Uh they always talk, uh, they always try to put
a different twist on something. And with them putting the
(05:47):
twist on it. The concept is it's an abordance a commitment.
It's an abordance of uh setting some you know their boundaries,
but how do you see wavy boundaries, shaky boundaries, however
you want to describe it. They are boundaries that are fluid.
(06:11):
And so it's kind of like the whole opposite of
having boundaries and working towards a commitment and ground. People
are typically at an age of feeling seasoned and mature.
They're looking for it doesn't have to be married. But
if they've decided that here's a potential partner, somebody who's
(06:34):
a good friend, you've moved to the partnership level, you
enjoy each other's company and what have you. Then you
have a conversation about where do we go from here?
And so that's what the conversation is, where do we
go from here? And so what young people have done
is created this concept of self commitments. We are committed
(07:00):
if we like each other, we seeing each other, we're
already doing that. We throw in the word commitment because
there's an assumption that if it's committed, that we're going
to stick to this and we're going to see be
monogamous or maybe not, or we're going to try this
(07:20):
for six weeks, three months, a year or whatever they
put in all of these arbitrary kind of binders in here.
And if it sounds good to you, and it sounds
good to me, that we're now in a soft commitment,
doesn't mean we have to live together, doesn't mean or
(07:40):
it means that we may live together. But the key
is there really is no commitment because it's not iron clad,
it's not legally binding. At any given moment. You can
have the conversation out. Well, I know we started out
(08:01):
like that, and at the time we started out, that's
what I was thinking and feeling. But that's not what
I'm feeling or thinking right now. So I want to
make some changes or I've decided that I'm going to
do something totally different. You know, I really would like
to keep you as a friend or maybe not. You know,
whatever it is, I can end it.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
And what they say, I was going to say this,
and you're right on the point, doctor Jeffries, and also
I wanted to say this with this to you says
what often unfolds is a quiet negotiation between what is
and what is desired, not because the desire for more
has diminished, but because the landscape seems to reward those
(08:45):
who ask for less. What we do now is what
we're saying. We're dating exclusively. You're not my boyfriend or girlfriend,
but we're only dating each other.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And maybe not right you are my primary person, see
but because and that's what the truth to me is
that when people put one person, usually it's one person
in the relationship has stronger feelings than the other person,
(09:18):
or that person is hoping to move towards marriage or
moving in together or something that's more, you know, a
more committed level. And this is an abordance of that.
I may not say the words that we're exclusive, but
we have a soft commitment and just leave it at that.
(09:41):
And then if I see somebody that has my interests
and I start seeing that person, I can come back
to you and say, well, I'm in a different place
now and so I've been seeing this other person and
I'd like to continue to see them. Do you have
a problem with that? You know? And if you do,
then I can say, well, I'm gonna have to rethink
(10:05):
our soft commitment because because of this other person, I
don't think I can honor that now, or I say
in the beginning while we're negotiating that this is something
that we can do. We're exclusive unless we tell each other,
and we have the right to see other people. And
(10:27):
so it's constant negotiation. But no, there's no firm footing
that you can count on.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So it's like doctor Jeffers are saying, we go together,
but we're not together.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, we're not going steady now.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, we go together, but we're not together.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Right, we're going we go together. Yeah, that's the commitment.
But we're establishing we're a couple. But if at any
given time one of us or both of us decide
that this is no longer suitable to us, or we
need to make some changes, we can do that, including
seeing other people or not seeing each other at all anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Okay, so so the you know, these young people they
come up with all kinds of self commitments. But but
some older folks, older folks, they're doing doing it as well.
Or have they been doing it all the time, doctor jeffries.
But we called it, we called it something else.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, we did.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
That's my friend, that's my long term friends.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
They may not live together, but everybody knows, they don't
deal with anybody else. That's my friends, This is my friend,
you know, and friend has kind of dragged back this
is my friend you know kind of thing, and there's
an understanding that they are a couple and that there
is nobody else that in terms of this romantic intimate relationship.
(11:57):
For whatever reason, they may opt not to live in
the same house, or maybe they do, or they may
opt not to get married. And for seniors who are
receiving Social Security and other benefits, then for financial economic reasons,
(12:17):
if I get married, I lose my tension, or I
lose my husband's tension or my wife's tension or whatever
you may have in place because my marital status changed.
So they live together as husband and wife, but for
economic reasons they maintain their separate financial arrangements. And the
(12:40):
thing that maybe some people don't realize self commitments is
illegal in a business term, oh and what they do.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
And it happens.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Particularly with a lot of nonprofits where let's say where
you're applying for grant funds or you're hiring some for
the duration a fund that you may get or grant
that you may receive, and what you're establishing is a
memorandom of Understanding mo OU, and in the MoU you
(13:14):
identify yourself as the person who's originating the memorandum of understanding.
That would be the me in this part. And then
whoever I'm addressing this to be it an individual person.
I'm going to hire you to be the director of
this project that is funded by X, Y and Z
(13:36):
Foundation for the duration of these monies being made available
to this organization. If at any time there's a change
in funding or we lose the funding or whatever that
comes where these funds are no longer available, there's this
(13:58):
person understands that we are not obligated to maintain their employment.
So well, I'm not offering you a full time job
or even a part time job with necessarily with benefits
or longevity or where you're in a promotion range where
you can seek for you know, moving up in the thing.
(14:20):
I'm saying, I'm hiring you to work up and you
will be paid by these designated funds as long as
the funds are there and you're doing good work.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
It works.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
If the funds go or they're cut, then you may
be in jeopardy of losing your job. So it's stay
very clearly now and in a hard contract, everybody spills
out explicitly what I'm going to be responsible for, what
my expectations of you are, and what will happen is
(14:52):
the event that these expectations are not met, and with
the idea that one or both of us can choose
within x amount of time to you know X, you know,
conclude this contract and if we both in agreement to
all of that, then we sign it, and that that's
legally bind it because you know then what everybody's behavior is.
(15:16):
So what I'm suggesting when.
Speaker 7 (15:18):
When you talk in terms of soft contracts, if we
want to fully execute the model, do a memorandom of
understanding because we don't talk to each other.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
This is a map which will allow you to spell
out why do I want to be in a soft
commitment with you? Why can't we just continue dating? And
if you ask me out or I have tickets to something,
I can invite you.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Why are we going to.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
The soft relationship or a soft commitment? We both need
to be clear about why we're doing. That is my
definition of a committed relationship or a soft commitment. Because
everybody has different definitions of words that are important to them.
(16:07):
We know that some people assume when we get married everything.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Is on board.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
There is no cheating, there's no side pieces, there is
no this. Our moneys are co mingled, and and you know,
if you bring in the other aspects about what our
roles are and all of that, all of that is
spelled out either traditionally or socially, or we have worked
out what's gonna work with us. Is going to go
(16:37):
to work every day. I may work if I choose to,
but maybe I don't want to, or I work until
the baby is born. It's an understanding that we have.
And so people don't typically talk about all the things
that are involved in meshing your life with somebody else,
(17:00):
whether it's soft, hard, or whatever. We don't talk about
what about money. I have money, you have money. How
we're going to manage expenses. Most people will do one
or two ways. Everybody splits down the middle what the
expenses are, and if that's not if one of us
(17:21):
makes more money, then we may negotiate. The person who
makes more money will pay a larger portion of the rent,
or you know, the higher bills on the thing. Some
people even go into buying houses and cars and stuff
together they're a soft commitment, or they're living together. I
(17:45):
tell people all the time, if you are not married
to this person, do not tie your finances, your credit score,
or any of that other stuff up where somebody else
has the level to damage you because economically, financially, credit
worthiness and all of that that stuff can mess you
(18:08):
up for years.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
And when people are blindly in love and your man
or your woman doesn't have a car and you want
to see them in a car, and you go out
and put a car, whether you rent it, by lease
it or borrow it, if you sign your name to it,
they can take the car, do whatever they want to.
Not take care of the car, damage it. Let somebody
(18:33):
else use guess who's responsible for it, the person whose
name is on the thing. So don't go in and
make yourself legally liable something and you have no legal
attachments to the person that you're putting yourself at risk for.
You know, love may be blind, but the law is
(18:53):
not right.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Right, And I want to ask this question, doctor Jefferson.
So so when we talk about soft commitments, whether whether
whether you're young or old, do people and you've been
you've been doing your job for a long time and
doing relationships. Do people still believe in love the kind
that's and we've been talking about this all year, intentionally
(19:21):
secure and worth giving your full self to someone. Do
people still believe in that?
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I think that when people and I'm going to use
the term, when people consider themselves being in love with
somebody or they've fallen in love with somebody. And usually
this is like the first three six months to a year,
when everything is magical. Everybody's still on their best behavior
(19:50):
and everything and you know, the world birds are singing,
the flowers blooming, and just you love everything about the person.
But what happens, and we talked about the different stages
of love and being in love. You are not fully
of yourself at that time because love is liking in toxin.
(20:11):
It's like a drug. You don't the things about the
person that's the object of your love. Everything is kind
of through rose colored glasses. The things that will later
make you grit your teeth. These are the things that
you find in endearing or they're so cute, or you
laugh about them and all of that because usually you're
(20:33):
in a bubble during this time and everything is focused
on each other and it will last until reality comes
in and you have to come out of the bubble
and deal with something as to mature adults. Sometimes that's
manufactured by one of the partners, where maybe if their
(20:55):
children presence and you don't have any together, then that
comes initial how we're gonna deal with your children aregnant.
Unplanned pregnancy due to irre irresponsible mating may occur and
you have to come to a decision about what are
we going to do about our pregnancy, job things. One
(21:19):
of us may lose our job and finances get funny.
I love you, but then when I'm the one who
has to pay everything now and I don't see you
looking like you really out there, you know, all twelve
twenty seven looking for a job, I may become a
different kind of person. You know, when I got to
(21:41):
give put gas in your car, or you gotta give
me gas money, or I need you to pay my
car now money will will put a different twist on it.
Other family members, friends, long term friends, but one of
you may not be in favor of that person.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
You know.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Weight body changes sometimes, you know, people lose weight while
they're in love. Some people gain weight because they fat
and happy, or maybe you spending time with them. You
see that what you thought was a couple of glasses
of wine every now and then, it's two or three
bottles a night. And you concern health problems that somebody
(22:22):
fails to tell you about. Oh, I've been treated for
this for years. So the whole thing when we talk
about giving the relationship time before you commit to soft commitments,
higher commitments, any kind of commitments. They spend time with
the person in different settings, and as it progresses, spend
(22:43):
times with their friends, with their colleagues, whatever they do
that occupies their life. Do that for each other where
you get to observe them with other people, with their relatives.
You know, especially one of the family gathers. You can
miss one of those, because that tells you a whole
lot about the dynamics in the families. Everybody in the
(23:06):
house screaming at each other all the time. There's crowded,
jam packed, but everybody's happy. You may get that may
be okay with you because you don't feel any tension.
It's just different from your little quiet things that your
people's have. But you have to take all of that
into consideration and then imagine yourself in the thick of
it and saying is this something that I can grow
(23:29):
to love and appreciate as well? And the jealousy factors.
You know, you spent twenty four to seven together now,
but now reality is in here. Maybe you have to
work longer hours, or maybe you have to now travel,
or you're in school and working, or you have other responsibilities.
How is this potential person responding to that? Are they jealous?
(23:52):
Are they controlling? Are they complaining because you're not available
to do this? And always with the finances, you know,
your finances are private until you're at a point where
we are talking about how my finances and your finances
need to interact with each other for something that we
(24:14):
want to do. If we're talking about moving in together,
and surely this is at least twelve to fourteen months
after you've met, not the first six weeks or three months,
but even at that point, the only finances that should
be exclosed your bank dumberes, your card numbers, and all
of that is on a need to know basis and
(24:37):
never passwords and stuff like that because you just still
don't know the person, and you don't know who you
are with the person. You still in money Mooney land
and they're taking you.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
For a ride or you're one a many.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
So you have to prepare yourself for that until you
feel a sense of confidence that I have at least
spend enough time and been in enough situations, and please
have one gigantic argument during this time.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Why is there, doctor Jeffery, Why you need an argument because.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
You need to see how the person handles frustration and anger.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
You know, you have to see that because that tells
you something about when you live together, and during the
beginning of it, there's going to.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Be frustration and what have you, especially if you've lived
by yourself or what have you never lived with a roommate,
or you know, having lived with somebody in a long time,
or if one of you is moving into the other space.
You know they got this, you know they've got the
little the phone right here to the left side of
(25:51):
the table, you right handed. You want it on this side.
And they lose their mind because you move the phone,
or why did you put the musk and the ketchup
and the refrigerator. We don't never do. I mean, little
things can send things exploding, opening each other's mail, you know,
answering each other's phone, checking other people's messages. Those kinds
(26:13):
of things will tell you whether people have secrets have
are they mature enough to have a discussion or disagreement.
If somebody, when they get ANGERI starts throwing things or
putting holes in the walls or screaming and hollering and crying,
you need to know that is that a person that
you care to involve in your life? The person is
(26:37):
the person stable? You know, what does the medicine cabinet
look like? All those kinds of things you know, observe,
be observant, Be observant. And the older you are, the
longer and the more cautious you should be because you're
not a kid anymore in process of growing up in development.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
You are a grown person.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
You have a life, You have life experiences, which means
that you have expenses that are yours. You have money
and how you're managing your money. You may have savings, stocks, whatever,
but it's your business. It's your business until it's not.
And that should be way down the pipe because you'd
(27:23):
be surprised how money and somebody else's assets and resources
can change the dynamics of a relationship. You want somebody
to love you, not to be a nurse or a purse.
You want them to love you as a person.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I like that you want somebody not for the nurse
or the purse. Well, you know, you have a lot
of folks who want the purse, doctor Jeffers exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
They want the purse.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
It looks like and wouldn't that person know? Or I
guess people are just so in love. You don't see
anybody wanting you for being a nurse or for your purpose.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
You know.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
The thing of it is, And the word that comes
to mind is that you're thirsty. Some people are so
love starved, so hungry, so hungry for a hug or
a touch, you know, or for physical intimacy and warmth,
that they're anxious.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
You know how, you you know.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
How if you go grocery shopping and you haven't evening
and you're hungry, everything looks good to you, and you
snack where you normally don't try to snack.
Speaker 6 (28:37):
Some stuff in the store and all.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Of that stuff, and it's not satisfying to you, but
you just stuff and stuff in your mouth because you're hungry,
and you rushed and you're tied, and you don't really
feel like fixing anything. But in relationships. There are people
who are so love start and physical touch. And we know,
(29:01):
we know from the Thriving Babies studies that we as
humans crave, desire and need human touch. When you hug
somebody and you and they hold onto you, and you're
holding onto them, and and and just feeling the warmth
and the comfort and the and the love and the
(29:24):
safety and that embrace all kinds of oxyton and things
start going through your brains and dowarphins are moving and
and all of that. And and after a really nice
hug where you don't just tap, touch and release, but
where you've been there and where you've embodied the experience,
(29:47):
pay attention to how you feel, how you feel afterwards.
That's really an indication of that we need love, care, concern,
and companionship. But what what you want to do is
to make sure that you check it out. You know,
you rat it, you vett it, you know, don't be
(30:08):
ashamed or embarrassed about whatever it takes to do background
checks on each other and all of that, because people
will lie, people will hide stuff, people within the truth,
and you may be shocked at the person that is
presenting him of herself to you. But you need to
(30:28):
know that now what you find out about the person,
you still may want to be with that person, and
as an adult, you have a right to make that decision.
But what I like to tell the people make sure
that you are duly informed of anything of significance that
might change your attitude or your perception of the person.
(30:51):
And I would say that in an early conversation, you know,
as we get to know each other, if there's something
you know I don't. I'm not asking you to tell
me everything about your life now, but as we get
to know each other, and after you know, if things progress,
I would hope that if there's something that is in
(31:15):
your past or even in your recent past or present
now that you may feel would impact how I would
feel about you or how my feelings are growing for you,
please be honest with me and let me make an
informed decision about that, because if that doesn't happen, and
(31:36):
later on down the path you find out about it,
you feel lied to, You feel betrayed. And we talked
about betrayal of trust, lied about that. What else are
you lying about?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
You know?
Speaker 3 (31:48):
And a lot of people go through the whole prices
of focusing just don't. Are you seeing somebody else or
you're talking to somebody else. You don't care about that
in thee because you are not committed to this person yet.
But what you do is you use that as an
indication as to how honesty are with you. Nobody who's
(32:11):
just seeing you the first two or three times, if
they're dating actively dating, is only seeing you. And if
they are, they just broke up or they're seeing somebody
else along with you, you should assume that. And then that's
when you have the conversation what is your dating stats?
There's nothing wrong with people saying, well, I have multiple friends,
(32:35):
and I go out with this person for that, and
we do this for that, and there's this one person
we're really good friends. I probably see him or her
more than anybody else. That's honest. That just tells you
that you can't expect to put somebody in boundary, you know,
in binders right now because the active But you come
(32:58):
back to it again, so we're seeing each other more.
We need to talk about these other people that you're seeing,
you know, any commitments in that way, anything your friends
would benefit, especially if somebody else is sleeping with somebody else.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
You want to know that.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
That's why we shouldn't be too quick to have unprotected sex.
Not only you know you may be too old to
have a baby, but an older man is never too
old not to make a baby. And you may not
want a baby, and he may not want a baby.
And I don't think we take that seriously enough. We
(33:38):
bring children into world as accidents, and then that's a
twenty five plus year commitment. So all those things that
you want as you are a seasoned person, I'm a
toure person and you're looking for a relationship, be clear
about what you want in need, Be honest about so
(34:00):
what your deal breakers are. Be open to somebody saying
I'm not just seeing you exclusively. If you tell me that,
then I know what we're not going to be doing
until I feel more comfortable in the where we're heading.
And that's your choice. But if it's not a problem
(34:20):
for you, stay protected, have protected adult sex, and no
expectations until things change. We got to think about having
boundaries and without setting boundaries or raising boundaries, or changing
our values and our needs and our warrants out of
(34:41):
desperation because we're thirsty and we're hungry.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
All right, Very good doctor Jeffries. Hold on, hold on,
doctor Jeffries, as we take this break. If you've just
tuned in this afternoon, we are talking about soft commitments
and other rel relationship stuff. If you have a question
or two four doctor Jeffries this day, we do invite
(35:07):
you to call now nine zero one five three five
nine three four two eight hundred five zero three nine
three four two eight three three five three five nine
three four two will get you in to us. Or
(35:27):
if you can't call always we'll take the email. Bev
Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com. Bev Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com.
You're listening to double You D I A.
Speaker 8 (36:01):
Hi, this is David Porter, and you are listening to
the Queen of Talk, Bev Johnson. She is the one
and only. No one can tap her, no one can
stop her, and I'm in.
Speaker 9 (36:11):
Love with her. You're listening to Bev Johnson at w
D I A.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
You're listening to the Bev Johnson Show. Here's Bev Johnson
and we're talking soft commitments with doctor Dorothy Phrase going
to our phone lines to talk with you. Thank you
for waiting. Callers. Hi, Andre Hi, you're on the air,
Andre Andre Yes, Andre, I'm talking to you. Talk to
(37:23):
me in your telephone. Okay, so Andre, you hung up?
Call me again, talk to me in your telephone. Hi, k.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
Hi, Hi, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I'm doing well today, k and you Oh.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Listen, listen to doctor Jeffers. All right, head. Had I
not had two full rats, thinking I'm smart and I
didn't know if i'm I promise you, she would definitely
be my therapy, she said, I would, she would beginning,
she would have been up and thinking, ya, I am
have you ever heard of a safety your sexual No?
(38:02):
Doctor Justin said.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Say that again.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
Kay, some people may say I'm spelling for you s
a p I oh sexual.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Sexual Okay, I'm yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
So you know, like she said, it's they are money
and that's what they need to realize. If it's their money,
whose money is it? There?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Is there money?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
They a lot and if they put you in a
certain alignment category and you at the lowest echelon thet
them thinking that for themselves they be they be bad
when they grow up. I never understood why somebody wanted
to get your nails and they had done and say
another for three dollars. You never made sense to me.
(38:45):
And you know I mean me. I mean you can
pay twelve fifteen down dollars or a piece of hair.
I just thank god I got those girls and know
how to know grand babies. And that's something else too.
It's start with them. If you sit in there and
you're allowing your child to just to stake you because
I don't care who the mama, daddy, whoever. But you
don't get the ks Rant right. You don't get the
(39:07):
kays Ran and it stars there with the attitudes with
somebody breaking in what you said, punching walls, and the
behavior and supporting up behavior. You don't want me, you
don't like me, love dying self and doctor Jeffers, but
you not agree. You can't make them love you as
a friend of man safe, but you can make them
hatrere a that for me? Thank you? Kay?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
And you said you're sapio sexual. That's you.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Well. I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Oh okay, okay, I just want to. I just want
to get okay by w d I a unforegetfoone.
Speaker 10 (39:48):
That jumps the most beautiful thing in the world that
God gave man can it's a love from another woman
when she loved a man. That is so brutiful love,
conquer all there. I understand this things, these contracts and
all that kind of stuff. I don't believe that kind
of stuff, you know. I just believe it just being yourself.
Speaker 6 (40:10):
Any problems come up, deal with it.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
You know.
Speaker 6 (40:14):
If you want to go away, let her go. If
you want to go on his way, let him go.
You know what I'm saying. Just deal with it, Bell,
because all this other stuff, you know, it really don't
make no sense, because it's all about love. When you
love someone there and conquer everything in a relation, and
you will know when you find that soul mate. Okay,
(40:37):
and she he will know, and they will be together
forever and have a virtual family and things will be
all right. And you just deal with it. And I'm
out of.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Here, you unforgetful doctor j I'm back. I'm back. I'm
going to start with Kate first, because she said something
interesting and I don't know. She said, I don't know
if you know that is termed. She says she's a
safeio sexual s, a pio sexual You heard of that before.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
I have, but it's escaping me right now.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Okay, okay, anyway, anyway she was saying that, But anyway,
her point was talking about She says, she agreed with
you when you're talking about the behavior of people and
getting to know them, because once you get with them
and then you see them hitting the walls and doing
all kinds of things. So she said, doctor Jeffries, it's
(41:31):
you can't make them love you, but you can make
them hate you.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
The person that's behaving.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Like that, uh huh, or any person well getting with
a person, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Right, your behavior. The thing about we first attracted to
what we see in the person. You know, the physique,
the physicalness of the person. Some people are attracted to
how the person thinks of how they're talking. But all
of that comes together and then you have, you know,
(42:07):
this sense that I'd like to get to know this
person better. But it's the behavior. Now, some people will
kill you with kindness. They want to be with you
so much, they want to be under you so much.
They are so needy until they don't want you to
breathe without them if you inhale and their exhale. That's
the other side of it. Now, people who are very lone,
(42:29):
they may think that that would not be something that
would be an issue for them, But I promise you
everything has to be in balanced, you know, that's just
the order of things. You need balance. Too much of anything,
not enough of something else, it's just not going to
be good. But this is the key. If you don't
know what it is that you want and need in
(42:52):
a relationship in your life at this point of your life,
you're starting off on the wrong foot. That means you
may accept anything because you don't have any idea. You know,
it's like buying a grab box and say, I'll figure
out where this goes when I get home and open it,
(43:12):
or it just even for you.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah. One of the things that an unforgetful came on
doctor Jefferson. He said that love conquers all. So if
there's problems, you just have to deal with it. I disagree.
You don't have to deal with it.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
No, you can choose not to. Yeah, some people say,
you know, peace, I think peace is what mature people want, right.
They want love, they want happiness, they want companion its,
but most of all they want peace. You know, and
you don't want to worry, You don't want to have
to struggle. They don't want drama, you know, they just
(43:52):
want peace. And if you can share a peaceful existence,
with somebody all those other things to love, the care,
the sex, the kindness, all that kind of and the companionship.
That's a great place to be at this point. That's
a great but you have to be very focused and
clear about what it is that you want in need.
(44:14):
Where as you're meeting people and considering different types of people,
you don't have to allow yourself to be desperate that
you don't rule out anybody. You know, the first person
that you meet that takes you on a day does
not have to become the project that you think that
you can work with and that's going to be your
(44:35):
happily ever after, right, And I think that's the attitude.
If you have an attitude of abundance that there's plenty.
All I have to do is prepare myself and go
where the food is or where you know where I
can meet these needs or meet these kinds of people.
You'll find that you'll meet more than your shriff of
(44:57):
when you immediate grasp are spending all your change time
jealous and that's I think what Kay was talking about.
And people have not worked on their issues and then
they bring that mess into your life. You got something
to deal with because now you resimble because you don't work,
especially if you've already done your work. So that's why
(45:17):
it's being very focused on ruling out and ruling in.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Okay, okay. And also I wanted to say, oh yeah,
and Kay gave you a compliment, Doctor Jeffery. She said, boy,
back in the day she needed you, you would definitely
have been her therapist.
Speaker 6 (45:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
K Kay said, you have definitely been her therapist. Oh
oh okay, oh okay, thank you, Kay. And Kate said,
we were talking about sapio sexual. She says, attracted to intellect.
That's what that means. Yes, attracted to intellect. Yeah, you
know what I have. Can I have a girl friend
(46:00):
who's like that, she's attracted to intellect?
Speaker 3 (46:06):
That would be me too.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I know I'm not talking to you about you girlfriend,
but I'm talking about it. But good Yeah, thank you Ka.
Because a lot of people are attracted to intellect.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes, and we don't have enough of that going.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Around, No, we don't. We don't. So when we talk
about commitment, and I think next week, doctor Jeffers, you
wanted to kind of roll over, we're going to talk
about those seasoned folks.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Yeah, like us, you want.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yeah, what is it that you want? And I know
we have a lot of seasoned folks out here who
want companionship. You want love, doctor Jeffries, they don't know
how to get it or they're going by it wrong.
So we need to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
That's right. They don't know how to get it and
don't know if they want to get it. And a
lot of times they're the ones blocking the door, you know,
you pushing the door closed and telling people I'm looking
for love to come in.
Speaker 4 (47:03):
And you have to do a lot.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Yeah, so we're gonna talk about we'll talk about next week.
We'll talk focus on you seasons folks, okay, uh and
and anything else we want to say about you really
need to And I think you gave some great points today,
doctor Jefferson when we talk about soft commitments and just
(47:27):
whether it's a soft one or a hard one, you
need to be committed. You need to be committed.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
Well you know, but like I said, understand, if you
if you really want commitment, what is the soft commitment
going to give you? That A regular commitment that that
that I think people go for the convenience. Somebody will say,
let's have a soft commitment, which means they can still
do what they want to do, and and and just
(47:57):
they're not saying that we're gonna have to work on this.
And at any moment that this doesn't show me anymore,
I can let you and it go. But that's why
I'm saying, you have to have clarity about what your
wants and your needs and your issues are, because if
you don't have clarity about it, you may say I
can live with a soft commitment, but then you end
(48:18):
up getting hurt because just because commitment is in there,
it does not mean what you may be expecting it
to mean. Yes, that's very important. And if the word
commitment is what you're looking for, let's talk about what
kind of commitment you know friends would benefit. But we're
committed and saying we're only going to deal with each other,
(48:40):
but we're going to live separately. We're going to keep
everything separately, but we're going to be the best of friends,
partners and lovers, all of those things you get to
create if the two people are willing to communicate and
be ethical and open and honest about what it is
they want to need, getting people to tell the truth,
that's it, that's what they want.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
And as you said earlier apart when in January when
we start intentional intent and purpose and purpose, that's what
we got it. So next week we're gonna talk to
these seasons folks. That's right, sounds good. Thank you, doctor Jeffers,
and thank you for being patient today as we talk
to doctor Bill Atkins and doctor Jason Turner, because there
(49:24):
it's important to talk to doctor Jeffers about souls to
the polls. They're having a big rally on Sunday trying
to get these folks to get ready to vote and
go vote. So we need that.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
That's absolutely wanted and needed, and I commend both of
them for pushing it. Keep pushing it. I said, it
is definitely what we need, not a problem at all.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
All right, doctor Jay, Well you have a fabulous weekend
and look forward to talking to you next week.
Speaker 6 (49:50):
Sister, all right, you take care.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
All right?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
How do you end up? Say hello, thank you, Doctor
Jeffres Bye bye. That is doctor Dorothy Jeffries, our Behavior
Relationship consult Tent.
Speaker 8 (50:10):
The views and opinions discussed on the BEV Johnson Show
are that of the hosts and callers, and not those
of the staff and sponsors of Wdia.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
It's been a good week y'all. Thank you all for listening.
Want to remind you, don't forget. I'll be rocking yeah
on Sunday night, rocking at the Rocking Chair with the
Ladies of the Rocking Chair. Yeah. They are presenting their
first annual step out featuring my Little pyt Jaywe will
(50:44):
be in the house Sunday, June seventh. Doors will open
up at seven pm and hosted by yours truly, Bev
Johnson's gonna be food, music, and a whole lot of fun.
And the president of the Ladies of the Rocking Chair here,
miss Jackie.
Speaker 7 (51:00):
Lie.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
What's up Jackie? She wants all of y'all to come
on out and rock at the Rocking Chair Sunday, June seventh,
the first annual step out with the Ladies of the
Chair with Jay Wann. Yeah. So I'll see you there.
I have my dinner on Sunday. Oh yeah, they're gonna
be serving ox tails yeah on Sunday at the Rocking Chair.
(51:23):
Yeah they will. They will. We rock with soul, food
and the best entertainment time. Yeah, we do so until tomorrow.
Please be safe, keep a cool head, y'all, don't let
anyone steal your joy. Until tomorrow, I'm Bev Johnson, and
(51:45):
y'all keep the faith. Mark Baker, Take Me Home Boyfriend,
SA
Be Justin Show, Bell Tumps This Talking and home Away,
Help you go, you go Son't getting ready in time show.
Let's go Bell Justin will make your day by here
(00:27):
you day.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Listen to one.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
To say, you know it's time of the bel just Show,
the Mountain Show, Lucky.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
We are rocking and rolling on this Friday, June fifth,
twenty twenty six. It's a Friday. Yeah, yes it is
around here. Welcome back to the Rev. Johnson Show. It's
Relationship Day where we talk about relationships to help make
yours healthy, wholesome, wonderful, and most of all loving between
(01:03):
considering adults. Will do that with our behavioral relationship consultant,
doctor Dorothy Jeffries coming out. But before that, you know,
I have to tell you about my place. I'm talking
about the Rocking Chair of Memphis, where we rock with
the best soul food in town, best entertainment around fifteen
(01:24):
forty two Elvis Presley, dine in or you can take out.
Nine zero one four two five five two sixty four
is the number to the Rocking Chair where you can
get some good soul food today up until five o'clock. Yeah,
well they'll shut down and then I'll open back up
this evening and for a little fun with the best
(01:45):
entertainment around with DJ e b. T is the Karaoke Friday.
Yeah yeah, you think you can sing with a band
of karaoke, Well, come on out this evening to the
Rocking Chair of Memphis fifteen Elvis Freshley and we rock
with the best entertainment around. And we're excited about Sunday, y'all.
(02:08):
The Rocking Chaer of Memphis and the Ladies of the Chair.
It's their first annual step out with President Jackie Lott.
Was up, Jackie, the President of the Ladies of the
Rocking Cheer. Their very special guest on Sunday evening is
Jay One. Yeah, jy one will be in the house
to have that great entertainment for you. Y'all know Jay One,
(02:31):
I got this record. Yeah, he's gonna have some good
records seeing on Sunday evening at the Rocking Cheers. So
it's gonna be live music, great food, fun. All you
need tickets. All you need to do is go to
my Rocking Chair dot com, my Rocking Chair dot com,
or you can call nine zero one seven one eight
(02:55):
nine three seven four nine zero one seven one eight, nine, three,
seven four when the Ladies of the Rocking Chair their
first annual step out with Little Pyt Jay one Sunday,
June seventh. Doors will open up at seven o'clock on Sunday,
(03:16):
So get that in mine and on Sunday you can
get your Sunday dinner like I always do after church.
And they're gonna have some ox tails. What you like
ox tails. They're putting ox tails on the menu hopefully,
so they'll have those on Sunday at the Rocking Chair
of Memphis. But don't forget the Ladies of the Chair
their first annual step Out featuring Jay one Sunday, June seventh,
(03:41):
beginning at seven pm. Doors will open so and host it,
i should say, hosted by me BEB Johnson. I'll be
there with my Little Pyt Jay one and the Ladies
of the Chair and President Jackie Lott. So if you
want the best soul food in town, best entertainment around,
go to the Rocking Chair of Memphis fifteen forty two
(04:03):
Elvis Presley. And when you go there, you all know
what to say. Don't add anything else with it. The
BEV Johnson sent you to the Rocking Chair of Memphis. Yeah,
we're gonna have fun on Sunday night. I can't wait.
I'm gonna have fun right now because back in the house,
(04:23):
she asks patients, I just love our relationship Behavioral Relationship
consulted my good friend, doctor Dorothy Jeffries. Good morning to you,
doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Good morning, miss Johnson. I am feeling well today. How
about you.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I'm feeling well to you? Sounding well, doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
It is this is the pretty day here. Sunshine and
flowers blooming, the birds of singing. That's all I ask for.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That's all we need, doctor Jefferies. That's all we need.
Absolutely well this morning, doctor Jefferies. Well now it's afternoon.
We want to talk about soft commitments. Have you all
heard about that. Well, this is a new thing with
young people and some old people to doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Soft commitments.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, soft commit when they put soft in front of commitments.
So let's talk about soft commitments.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Do you know what The thing that interests me about
this one is that they're always taking something traditional. I'm
talking about young people and this comes from young people. This,
Uh they always talk, uh, they always try to put
a different twist on something. And with them putting the
(05:47):
twist on it. The concept is it's an abordance a commitment.
It's an abordance of uh setting some you know their boundaries,
but how do you see wavy boundaries, shaky boundaries, however
you want to describe it. They are boundaries that are fluid.
(06:11):
And so it's kind of like the whole opposite of
having boundaries and working towards a commitment and ground. People
are typically at an age of feeling seasoned and mature.
They're looking for it doesn't have to be married. But
if they've decided that here's a potential partner, somebody who's
(06:34):
a good friend, you've moved to the partnership level, you
enjoy each other's company and what have you. Then you
have a conversation about where do we go from here?
And so that's what the conversation is, where do we
go from here? And so what young people have done
is created this concept of self commitments. We are committed
(07:00):
if we like each other, we seeing each other, we're
already doing that. We throw in the word commitment because
there's an assumption that if it's committed, that we're going
to stick to this and we're going to see be
monogamous or maybe not, or we're going to try this
(07:20):
for six weeks, three months, a year or whatever they
put in all of these arbitrary kind of binders in here.
And if it sounds good to you, and it sounds
good to me, that we're now in a soft commitment,
doesn't mean we have to live together, doesn't mean or
(07:40):
it means that we may live together. But the key
is there really is no commitment because it's not iron clad,
it's not legally binding. At any given moment. You can
have the conversation out. Well, I know we started out
(08:01):
like that, and at the time we started out, that's
what I was thinking and feeling. But that's not what
I'm feeling or thinking right now. So I want to
make some changes or I've decided that I'm going to
do something totally different. You know, I really would like
to keep you as a friend or maybe not. You know,
whatever it is, I can end it.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
And what they say, I was going to say this,
and you're right on the point, doctor Jeffries, and also
I wanted to say this with this to you says
what often unfolds is a quiet negotiation between what is
and what is desired, not because the desire for more
has diminished, but because the landscape seems to reward those
(08:45):
who ask for less. What we do now is what
we're saying. We're dating exclusively. You're not my boyfriend or girlfriend,
but we're only dating each other.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And maybe not right you are my primary person, see
but because and that's what the truth to me is
that when people put one person, usually it's one person
in the relationship has stronger feelings than the other person,
(09:18):
or that person is hoping to move towards marriage or
moving in together or something that's more, you know, a
more committed level. And this is an abordance of that.
I may not say the words that we're exclusive, but
we have a soft commitment and just leave it at that.
(09:41):
And then if I see somebody that has my interests
and I start seeing that person, I can come back
to you and say, well, I'm in a different place
now and so I've been seeing this other person and
I'd like to continue to see them. Do you have
a problem with that? You know? And if you do,
then I can say, well, I'm gonna have to rethink
(10:05):
our soft commitment because because of this other person, I
don't think I can honor that now, or I say
in the beginning while we're negotiating that this is something
that we can do. We're exclusive unless we tell each other,
and we have the right to see other people. And
(10:27):
so it's constant negotiation. But no, there's no firm footing
that you can count on.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
So it's like doctor Jeffers are saying, we go together,
but we're not together.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Yeah, we're not going steady now.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Yeah, we go together, but we're not together.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Right, we're going we go together. Yeah, that's the commitment.
But we're establishing we're a couple. But if at any
given time one of us or both of us decide
that this is no longer suitable to us, or we
need to make some changes, we can do that, including
seeing other people or not seeing each other at all anymore.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Okay, so so the you know, these young people they
come up with all kinds of self commitments. But but
some older folks, older folks, they're doing doing it as well.
Or have they been doing it all the time, doctor jeffries.
But we called it, we called it something else.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yeah, we did.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
That's my friend, that's my long term friends.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
They may not live together, but everybody knows, they don't
deal with anybody else. That's my friends, This is my friend,
you know, and friend has kind of dragged back this
is my friend you know kind of thing, and there's
an understanding that they are a couple and that there
is nobody else that in terms of this romantic intimate relationship.
(11:57):
For whatever reason, they may opt not to live in
the same house, or maybe they do, or they may
opt not to get married. And for seniors who are
receiving Social Security and other benefits, then for financial economic reasons,
(12:17):
if I get married, I lose my tension, or I
lose my husband's tension or my wife's tension or whatever
you may have in place because my marital status changed.
So they live together as husband and wife, but for
economic reasons they maintain their separate financial arrangements. And the
(12:40):
thing that maybe some people don't realize self commitments is
illegal in a business term, oh and what they do.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
And it happens.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Particularly with a lot of nonprofits where let's say where
you're applying for grant funds or you're hiring some for
the duration a fund that you may get or grant
that you may receive, and what you're establishing is a
memorandom of Understanding mo OU, and in the MoU you
(13:14):
identify yourself as the person who's originating the memorandum of understanding.
That would be the me in this part. And then
whoever I'm addressing this to be it an individual person.
I'm going to hire you to be the director of
this project that is funded by X, Y and Z
(13:36):
Foundation for the duration of these monies being made available
to this organization. If at any time there's a change
in funding or we lose the funding or whatever that
comes where these funds are no longer available, there's this
(13:58):
person understands that we are not obligated to maintain their employment.
So well, I'm not offering you a full time job
or even a part time job with necessarily with benefits
or longevity or where you're in a promotion range where
you can seek for you know, moving up in the thing.
(14:20):
I'm saying, I'm hiring you to work up and you
will be paid by these designated funds as long as
the funds are there and you're doing good work.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
It works.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
If the funds go or they're cut, then you may
be in jeopardy of losing your job. So it's stay
very clearly now and in a hard contract, everybody spills
out explicitly what I'm going to be responsible for, what
my expectations of you are, and what will happen is
(14:52):
the event that these expectations are not met, and with
the idea that one or both of us can choose
within x amount of time to you know X, you know,
conclude this contract and if we both in agreement to
all of that, then we sign it, and that that's
legally bind it because you know then what everybody's behavior is.
(15:16):
So what I'm suggesting when.
Speaker 7 (15:18):
When you talk in terms of soft contracts, if we
want to fully execute the model, do a memorandom of
understanding because we don't talk to each other.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
This is a map which will allow you to spell
out why do I want to be in a soft
commitment with you? Why can't we just continue dating? And
if you ask me out or I have tickets to something,
I can invite you.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Why are we going to.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
The soft relationship or a soft commitment? We both need
to be clear about why we're doing. That is my
definition of a committed relationship or a soft commitment. Because
everybody has different definitions of words that are important to them.
(16:07):
We know that some people assume when we get married everything.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
Is on board.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
There is no cheating, there's no side pieces, there is
no this. Our moneys are co mingled, and and you know,
if you bring in the other aspects about what our
roles are and all of that, all of that is
spelled out either traditionally or socially, or we have worked
out what's gonna work with us. Is going to go
(16:37):
to work every day. I may work if I choose to,
but maybe I don't want to, or I work until
the baby is born. It's an understanding that we have.
And so people don't typically talk about all the things
that are involved in meshing your life with somebody else,
(17:00):
whether it's soft, hard, or whatever. We don't talk about
what about money. I have money, you have money. How
we're going to manage expenses. Most people will do one
or two ways. Everybody splits down the middle what the
expenses are, and if that's not if one of us
(17:21):
makes more money, then we may negotiate. The person who
makes more money will pay a larger portion of the rent,
or you know, the higher bills on the thing. Some
people even go into buying houses and cars and stuff
together they're a soft commitment, or they're living together. I
(17:45):
tell people all the time, if you are not married
to this person, do not tie your finances, your credit score,
or any of that other stuff up where somebody else
has the level to damage you because economically, financially, credit
worthiness and all of that that stuff can mess you
(18:08):
up for years.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
You know.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
And when people are blindly in love and your man
or your woman doesn't have a car and you want
to see them in a car, and you go out
and put a car, whether you rent it, by lease
it or borrow it, if you sign your name to it,
they can take the car, do whatever they want to.
Not take care of the car, damage it. Let somebody
(18:33):
else use guess who's responsible for it, the person whose
name is on the thing. So don't go in and
make yourself legally liable something and you have no legal
attachments to the person that you're putting yourself at risk for.
You know, love may be blind, but the law is
(18:53):
not right.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Right, And I want to ask this question, doctor Jefferson.
So so when we talk about soft commitments, whether whether
whether you're young or old, do people and you've been
you've been doing your job for a long time and
doing relationships. Do people still believe in love the kind
that's and we've been talking about this all year, intentionally
(19:21):
secure and worth giving your full self to someone. Do
people still believe in that?
Speaker 3 (19:29):
I think that when people and I'm going to use
the term, when people consider themselves being in love with
somebody or they've fallen in love with somebody. And usually
this is like the first three six months to a year,
when everything is magical. Everybody's still on their best behavior
(19:50):
and everything and you know, the world birds are singing,
the flowers blooming, and just you love everything about the person.
But what happens, and we talked about the different stages
of love and being in love. You are not fully
of yourself at that time because love is liking in toxin.
(20:11):
It's like a drug. You don't the things about the
person that's the object of your love. Everything is kind
of through rose colored glasses. The things that will later
make you grit your teeth. These are the things that
you find in endearing or they're so cute, or you
laugh about them and all of that because usually you're
(20:33):
in a bubble during this time and everything is focused
on each other and it will last until reality comes
in and you have to come out of the bubble
and deal with something as to mature adults. Sometimes that's
manufactured by one of the partners, where maybe if their
(20:55):
children presence and you don't have any together, then that
comes initial how we're gonna deal with your children aregnant.
Unplanned pregnancy due to irre irresponsible mating may occur and
you have to come to a decision about what are
we going to do about our pregnancy, job things. One
(21:19):
of us may lose our job and finances get funny.
I love you, but then when I'm the one who
has to pay everything now and I don't see you
looking like you really out there, you know, all twelve
twenty seven looking for a job, I may become a
different kind of person. You know, when I got to
(21:41):
give put gas in your car, or you gotta give
me gas money, or I need you to pay my
car now money will will put a different twist on it.
Other family members, friends, long term friends, but one of
you may not be in favor of that person.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
You know.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Weight body changes sometimes, you know, people lose weight while
they're in love. Some people gain weight because they fat
and happy, or maybe you spending time with them. You
see that what you thought was a couple of glasses
of wine every now and then, it's two or three
bottles a night. And you concern health problems that somebody
(22:22):
fails to tell you about. Oh, I've been treated for
this for years. So the whole thing when we talk
about giving the relationship time before you commit to soft commitments,
higher commitments, any kind of commitments. They spend time with
the person in different settings, and as it progresses, spend
(22:43):
times with their friends, with their colleagues, whatever they do
that occupies their life. Do that for each other where
you get to observe them with other people, with their relatives.
You know, especially one of the family gathers. You can
miss one of those, because that tells you a whole
lot about the dynamics in the families. Everybody in the
(23:06):
house screaming at each other all the time. There's crowded,
jam packed, but everybody's happy. You may get that may
be okay with you because you don't feel any tension.
It's just different from your little quiet things that your
people's have. But you have to take all of that
into consideration and then imagine yourself in the thick of
it and saying is this something that I can grow
(23:29):
to love and appreciate as well? And the jealousy factors.
You know, you spent twenty four to seven together now,
but now reality is in here. Maybe you have to
work longer hours, or maybe you have to now travel,
or you're in school and working, or you have other responsibilities.
How is this potential person responding to that? Are they jealous?
(23:52):
Are they controlling? Are they complaining because you're not available
to do this? And always with the finances, you know,
your finances are private until you're at a point where
we are talking about how my finances and your finances
need to interact with each other for something that we
(24:14):
want to do. If we're talking about moving in together,
and surely this is at least twelve to fourteen months
after you've met, not the first six weeks or three months,
but even at that point, the only finances that should
be exclosed your bank dumberes, your card numbers, and all
of that is on a need to know basis and
(24:37):
never passwords and stuff like that because you just still
don't know the person, and you don't know who you
are with the person. You still in money Mooney land
and they're taking you.
Speaker 5 (24:50):
For a ride or you're one a many.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
So you have to prepare yourself for that until you
feel a sense of confidence that I have at least
spend enough time and been in enough situations, and please
have one gigantic argument during this time.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Why is there, doctor Jeffery, Why you need an argument because.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
You need to see how the person handles frustration and anger.
Speaker 5 (25:19):
You know, you have to see that because that tells
you something about when you live together, and during the
beginning of it, there's going to.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Be frustration and what have you, especially if you've lived
by yourself or what have you never lived with a roommate,
or you know, having lived with somebody in a long time,
or if one of you is moving into the other space.
You know they got this, you know they've got the
little the phone right here to the left side of
(25:51):
the table, you right handed. You want it on this side.
And they lose their mind because you move the phone,
or why did you put the musk and the ketchup
and the refrigerator. We don't never do. I mean, little
things can send things exploding, opening each other's mail, you know,
answering each other's phone, checking other people's messages. Those kinds
(26:13):
of things will tell you whether people have secrets have
are they mature enough to have a discussion or disagreement.
If somebody, when they get ANGERI starts throwing things or
putting holes in the walls or screaming and hollering and crying,
you need to know that is that a person that
you care to involve in your life? The person is
(26:37):
the person stable? You know, what does the medicine cabinet
look like? All those kinds of things you know, observe,
be observant, Be observant. And the older you are, the
longer and the more cautious you should be because you're
not a kid anymore in process of growing up in development.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
You are a grown person.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
You have a life, You have life experiences, which means
that you have expenses that are yours. You have money
and how you're managing your money. You may have savings, stocks, whatever,
but it's your business. It's your business until it's not.
And that should be way down the pipe because you'd
(27:23):
be surprised how money and somebody else's assets and resources
can change the dynamics of a relationship. You want somebody
to love you, not to be a nurse or a purse.
You want them to love you as a person.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
I like that you want somebody not for the nurse
or the purse. Well, you know, you have a lot
of folks who want the purse, doctor Jeffers exactly.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
They want the purse.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
It looks like and wouldn't that person know? Or I
guess people are just so in love. You don't see
anybody wanting you for being a nurse or for your purpose.
Speaker 5 (28:06):
You know.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
The thing of it is, And the word that comes
to mind is that you're thirsty. Some people are so
love starved, so hungry, so hungry for a hug or
a touch, you know, or for physical intimacy and warmth,
that they're anxious.
Speaker 5 (28:28):
You know how, you you know.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
How if you go grocery shopping and you haven't evening
and you're hungry, everything looks good to you, and you
snack where you normally don't try to snack.
Speaker 6 (28:37):
Some stuff in the store and all.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Of that stuff, and it's not satisfying to you, but
you just stuff and stuff in your mouth because you're hungry,
and you rushed and you're tied, and you don't really
feel like fixing anything. But in relationships. There are people
who are so love start and physical touch. And we know,
(29:01):
we know from the Thriving Babies studies that we as
humans crave, desire and need human touch. When you hug
somebody and you and they hold onto you, and you're
holding onto them, and and and just feeling the warmth
and the comfort and the and the love and the
(29:24):
safety and that embrace all kinds of oxyton and things
start going through your brains and dowarphins are moving and
and all of that. And and after a really nice
hug where you don't just tap, touch and release, but
where you've been there and where you've embodied the experience,
(29:47):
pay attention to how you feel, how you feel afterwards.
That's really an indication of that we need love, care, concern,
and companionship. But what what you want to do is
to make sure that you check it out. You know,
you rat it, you vett it, you know, don't be
(30:08):
ashamed or embarrassed about whatever it takes to do background
checks on each other and all of that, because people
will lie, people will hide stuff, people within the truth,
and you may be shocked at the person that is
presenting him of herself to you. But you need to
(30:28):
know that now what you find out about the person,
you still may want to be with that person, and
as an adult, you have a right to make that decision.
But what I like to tell the people make sure
that you are duly informed of anything of significance that
might change your attitude or your perception of the person.
(30:51):
And I would say that in an early conversation, you know,
as we get to know each other, if there's something
you know I don't. I'm not asking you to tell
me everything about your life now, but as we get
to know each other, and after you know, if things progress,
I would hope that if there's something that is in
(31:15):
your past or even in your recent past or present
now that you may feel would impact how I would
feel about you or how my feelings are growing for you,
please be honest with me and let me make an
informed decision about that, because if that doesn't happen, and
(31:36):
later on down the path you find out about it,
you feel lied to, You feel betrayed. And we talked
about betrayal of trust, lied about that. What else are
you lying about?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
You know?
Speaker 3 (31:48):
And a lot of people go through the whole prices
of focusing just don't. Are you seeing somebody else or
you're talking to somebody else. You don't care about that
in thee because you are not committed to this person yet.
But what you do is you use that as an
indication as to how honesty are with you. Nobody who's
(32:11):
just seeing you the first two or three times, if
they're dating actively dating, is only seeing you. And if
they are, they just broke up or they're seeing somebody
else along with you, you should assume that. And then that's
when you have the conversation what is your dating stats?
There's nothing wrong with people saying, well, I have multiple friends,
(32:35):
and I go out with this person for that, and
we do this for that, and there's this one person
we're really good friends. I probably see him or her
more than anybody else. That's honest. That just tells you
that you can't expect to put somebody in boundary, you know,
in binders right now because the active But you come
(32:58):
back to it again, so we're seeing each other more.
We need to talk about these other people that you're seeing,
you know, any commitments in that way, anything your friends
would benefit, especially if somebody else is sleeping with somebody else.
Speaker 5 (33:16):
You want to know that.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
That's why we shouldn't be too quick to have unprotected sex.
Not only you know you may be too old to
have a baby, but an older man is never too
old not to make a baby. And you may not
want a baby, and he may not want a baby.
And I don't think we take that seriously enough. We
(33:38):
bring children into world as accidents, and then that's a
twenty five plus year commitment. So all those things that
you want as you are a seasoned person, I'm a
toure person and you're looking for a relationship, be clear
about what you want in need, Be honest about so
(34:00):
what your deal breakers are. Be open to somebody saying
I'm not just seeing you exclusively. If you tell me that,
then I know what we're not going to be doing
until I feel more comfortable in the where we're heading.
And that's your choice. But if it's not a problem
(34:20):
for you, stay protected, have protected adult sex, and no
expectations until things change. We got to think about having
boundaries and without setting boundaries or raising boundaries, or changing
our values and our needs and our warrants out of
(34:41):
desperation because we're thirsty and we're hungry.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
All right, Very good doctor Jeffries. Hold on, hold on,
doctor Jeffries, as we take this break. If you've just
tuned in this afternoon, we are talking about soft commitments
and other rel relationship stuff. If you have a question
or two four doctor Jeffries this day, we do invite
(35:07):
you to call now nine zero one five three five
nine three four two eight hundred five zero three nine
three four two eight three three five three five nine
three four two will get you in to us. Or
(35:27):
if you can't call always we'll take the email. Bev
Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com. Bev Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com.
You're listening to double You D I A.
Speaker 8 (36:01):
Hi, this is David Porter, and you are listening to
the Queen of Talk, Bev Johnson. She is the one
and only. No one can tap her, no one can
stop her, and I'm in.
Speaker 9 (36:11):
Love with her. You're listening to Bev Johnson at w
D I A.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
You're listening to the Bev Johnson Show. Here's Bev Johnson
and we're talking soft commitments with doctor Dorothy Phrase going
to our phone lines to talk with you. Thank you
for waiting. Callers. Hi, Andre Hi, you're on the air,
Andre Andre Yes, Andre, I'm talking to you. Talk to
(37:23):
me in your telephone. Okay, so Andre, you hung up?
Call me again, talk to me in your telephone. Hi, k.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
Hi, Hi, how you doing.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
I'm doing well today, k and you Oh.
Speaker 4 (37:42):
Listen, listen to doctor Jeffers. All right, head. Had I
not had two full rats, thinking I'm smart and I
didn't know if i'm I promise you, she would definitely
be my therapy, she said, I would, she would beginning,
she would have been up and thinking, ya, I am
have you ever heard of a safety your sexual No?
(38:02):
Doctor Justin said.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Say that again.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
Kay, some people may say I'm spelling for you s
a p I oh sexual.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Sexual Okay, I'm yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
So you know, like she said, it's they are money
and that's what they need to realize. If it's their money,
whose money is it? There?
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Is there money?
Speaker 4 (38:25):
They a lot and if they put you in a
certain alignment category and you at the lowest echelon thet
them thinking that for themselves they be they be bad
when they grow up. I never understood why somebody wanted
to get your nails and they had done and say
another for three dollars. You never made sense to me.
(38:45):
And you know I mean me. I mean you can
pay twelve fifteen down dollars or a piece of hair.
I just thank god I got those girls and know
how to know grand babies. And that's something else too.
It's start with them. If you sit in there and
you're allowing your child to just to stake you because
I don't care who the mama, daddy, whoever. But you
don't get the ks Rant right. You don't get the
(39:07):
kays Ran and it stars there with the attitudes with
somebody breaking in what you said, punching walls, and the
behavior and supporting up behavior. You don't want me, you
don't like me, love dying self and doctor Jeffers, but
you not agree. You can't make them love you as
a friend of man safe, but you can make them
hatrere a that for me? Thank you? Kay?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
And you said you're sapio sexual. That's you.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Well. I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Oh okay, okay, I just want to. I just want
to get okay by w d I a unforegetfoone.
Speaker 10 (39:48):
That jumps the most beautiful thing in the world that
God gave man can it's a love from another woman
when she loved a man. That is so brutiful love,
conquer all there. I understand this things, these contracts and
all that kind of stuff. I don't believe that kind
of stuff, you know. I just believe it just being yourself.
Speaker 6 (40:10):
Any problems come up, deal with it.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
You know.
Speaker 6 (40:14):
If you want to go away, let her go. If
you want to go on his way, let him go.
You know what I'm saying. Just deal with it, Bell,
because all this other stuff, you know, it really don't
make no sense, because it's all about love. When you
love someone there and conquer everything in a relation, and
you will know when you find that soul mate. Okay,
(40:37):
and she he will know, and they will be together
forever and have a virtual family and things will be
all right. And you just deal with it. And I'm
out of.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Here, you unforgetful doctor j I'm back. I'm back. I'm
going to start with Kate first, because she said something
interesting and I don't know. She said, I don't know
if you know that is termed. She says she's a
safeio sexual s, a pio sexual You heard of that before.
Speaker 3 (41:07):
I have, but it's escaping me right now.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Okay, okay, anyway, anyway she was saying that, But anyway,
her point was talking about She says, she agreed with
you when you're talking about the behavior of people and
getting to know them, because once you get with them
and then you see them hitting the walls and doing
all kinds of things. So she said, doctor Jeffries, it's
(41:31):
you can't make them love you, but you can make
them hate you.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
The person that's behaving.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Like that, uh huh, or any person well getting with
a person, yeah.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Right, your behavior. The thing about we first attracted to
what we see in the person. You know, the physique,
the physicalness of the person. Some people are attracted to
how the person thinks of how they're talking. But all
of that comes together and then you have, you know,
(42:07):
this sense that I'd like to get to know this
person better. But it's the behavior. Now, some people will
kill you with kindness. They want to be with you
so much, they want to be under you so much.
They are so needy until they don't want you to
breathe without them if you inhale and their exhale. That's
the other side of it. Now, people who are very lone,
(42:29):
they may think that that would not be something that
would be an issue for them, But I promise you
everything has to be in balanced, you know, that's just
the order of things. You need balance. Too much of anything,
not enough of something else, it's just not going to
be good. But this is the key. If you don't
know what it is that you want and need in
(42:52):
a relationship in your life at this point of your life,
you're starting off on the wrong foot. That means you
may accept anything because you don't have any idea. You know,
it's like buying a grab box and say, I'll figure
out where this goes when I get home and open it,
(43:12):
or it just even for you.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
Yeah. One of the things that an unforgetful came on
doctor Jefferson. He said that love conquers all. So if
there's problems, you just have to deal with it. I disagree.
You don't have to deal with it.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
No, you can choose not to. Yeah, some people say,
you know, peace, I think peace is what mature people want, right.
They want love, they want happiness, they want companion its,
but most of all they want peace. You know, and
you don't want to worry, You don't want to have
to struggle. They don't want drama, you know, they just
(43:52):
want peace. And if you can share a peaceful existence,
with somebody all those other things to love, the care,
the sex, the kindness, all that kind of and the companionship.
That's a great place to be at this point. That's
a great but you have to be very focused and
clear about what it is that you want in need.
(44:14):
Where as you're meeting people and considering different types of people,
you don't have to allow yourself to be desperate that
you don't rule out anybody. You know, the first person
that you meet that takes you on a day does
not have to become the project that you think that
you can work with and that's going to be your
(44:35):
happily ever after, right, And I think that's the attitude.
If you have an attitude of abundance that there's plenty.
All I have to do is prepare myself and go
where the food is or where you know where I
can meet these needs or meet these kinds of people.
You'll find that you'll meet more than your shriff of
(44:57):
when you immediate grasp are spending all your change time
jealous and that's I think what Kay was talking about.
And people have not worked on their issues and then
they bring that mess into your life. You got something
to deal with because now you resimble because you don't work,
especially if you've already done your work. So that's why
(45:17):
it's being very focused on ruling out and ruling in.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Okay, okay. And also I wanted to say, oh yeah,
and Kay gave you a compliment, Doctor Jeffery. She said, boy,
back in the day she needed you, you would definitely
have been her therapist.
Speaker 6 (45:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
K Kay said, you have definitely been her therapist. Oh
oh okay, oh okay, thank you, Kay. And Kate said,
we were talking about sapio sexual. She says, attracted to intellect.
That's what that means. Yes, attracted to intellect. Yeah, you
know what I have. Can I have a girl friend
(46:00):
who's like that, she's attracted to intellect?
Speaker 3 (46:06):
That would be me too.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
I know I'm not talking to you about you girlfriend,
but I'm talking about it. But good Yeah, thank you Ka.
Because a lot of people are attracted to intellect.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Yes, and we don't have enough of that going.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Around, No, we don't. We don't. So when we talk
about commitment, and I think next week, doctor Jeffers, you
wanted to kind of roll over, we're going to talk
about those seasoned folks.
Speaker 3 (46:32):
Yeah, like us, you want.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yeah, what is it that you want? And I know
we have a lot of seasoned folks out here who
want companionship. You want love, doctor Jeffries, they don't know
how to get it or they're going by it wrong.
So we need to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (46:52):
That's right. They don't know how to get it and
don't know if they want to get it. And a
lot of times they're the ones blocking the door, you know,
you pushing the door closed and telling people I'm looking
for love to come in.
Speaker 4 (47:03):
And you have to do a lot.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Yeah, so we're gonna talk about we'll talk about next week.
We'll talk focus on you seasons folks, okay, uh and
and anything else we want to say about you really
need to And I think you gave some great points today,
doctor Jefferson when we talk about soft commitments and just
(47:27):
whether it's a soft one or a hard one, you
need to be committed. You need to be committed.
Speaker 3 (47:35):
Well you know, but like I said, understand, if you
if you really want commitment, what is the soft commitment
going to give you? That A regular commitment that that
that I think people go for the convenience. Somebody will say,
let's have a soft commitment, which means they can still
do what they want to do, and and and just
(47:57):
they're not saying that we're gonna have to work on this.
And at any moment that this doesn't show me anymore,
I can let you and it go. But that's why
I'm saying, you have to have clarity about what your
wants and your needs and your issues are, because if
you don't have clarity about it, you may say I
can live with a soft commitment, but then you end
(48:18):
up getting hurt because just because commitment is in there,
it does not mean what you may be expecting it
to mean. Yes, that's very important. And if the word
commitment is what you're looking for, let's talk about what
kind of commitment you know friends would benefit. But we're
committed and saying we're only going to deal with each other,
(48:40):
but we're going to live separately. We're going to keep
everything separately, but we're going to be the best of friends,
partners and lovers, all of those things you get to
create if the two people are willing to communicate and
be ethical and open and honest about what it is
they want to need, getting people to tell the truth,
that's it, that's what they want.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
And as you said earlier apart when in January when
we start intentional intent and purpose and purpose, that's what
we got it. So next week we're gonna talk to
these seasons folks. That's right, sounds good. Thank you, doctor Jeffers,
and thank you for being patient today as we talk
to doctor Bill Atkins and doctor Jason Turner, because there
(49:24):
it's important to talk to doctor Jeffers about souls to
the polls. They're having a big rally on Sunday trying
to get these folks to get ready to vote and
go vote. So we need that.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
That's absolutely wanted and needed, and I commend both of
them for pushing it. Keep pushing it. I said, it
is definitely what we need, not a problem at all.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
All right, doctor Jay, Well you have a fabulous weekend
and look forward to talking to you next week.
Speaker 6 (49:50):
Sister, all right, you take care.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
All right?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
How do you end up? Say hello, thank you, Doctor
Jeffres Bye bye. That is doctor Dorothy Jeffries, our Behavior
Relationship consult Tent.
Speaker 8 (50:10):
The views and opinions discussed on the BEV Johnson Show
are that of the hosts and callers, and not those
of the staff and sponsors of Wdia.
Speaker 2 (50:23):
It's been a good week y'all. Thank you all for listening.
Want to remind you, don't forget. I'll be rocking yeah
on Sunday night, rocking at the Rocking Chair with the
Ladies of the Rocking Chair. Yeah. They are presenting their
first annual step out featuring my Little pyt Jaywe will
(50:44):
be in the house Sunday, June seventh. Doors will open
up at seven pm and hosted by yours truly, Bev
Johnson's gonna be food, music, and a whole lot of fun.
And the president of the Ladies of the Rocking Chair here,
miss Jackie.
Speaker 7 (51:00):
Lie.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
What's up Jackie? She wants all of y'all to come
on out and rock at the Rocking Chair Sunday, June seventh,
the first annual step out with the Ladies of the
Chair with Jay Wann. Yeah. So I'll see you there.
I have my dinner on Sunday. Oh yeah, they're gonna
be serving ox tails yeah on Sunday at the Rocking Chair.
(51:23):
Yeah they will. They will. We rock with soul, food
and the best entertainment time. Yeah, we do so until tomorrow.
Please be safe, keep a cool head, y'all, don't let
anyone steal your joy. Until tomorrow, I'm Bev Johnson, and
(51:45):
y'all keep the faith. Mark Baker, Take Me Home Boyfriend,
SA
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Hey Jonas!
Hey Jonas! The official Jonas Brothers podcast. Hosted by Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas. It’s the Jonas Brothers you know... musicians, actors, and well, yes, brothers. Now, they’re sharing another side of themselves in the playful, intimate, and irreverent way only they can. Spend time with the Jonas Brothers here and stay a little bit longer for deep conversations like never before.
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.