July 31, 2024 • 12 mins
We spoke with Donna Finneran, Founder and President of the Brian O'Connell Homeless Project, about starting the Brian O'Connell Homeless Foundation in honor of her twin brother, Brian O'Connell, who passed away while homeless. Donna makes and delivers "Brian Bags" to the homeless every day.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for listening to Community Access. I'm Allison de
Merz and today have a very special guest with me,
an amazing woman named Donna Fennerin. Donna is the founder
and director of Brian's Bags, which we're going to talk about.
I'm so happy that you came here and you can
share your story with everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You have one of those stories where something really bad happens,
but you turn it around and you make it good. Yes,
let's talk about that story. How did all of that
come about? Well, my twin brother, Brian worked down on
Wall Street on Bleeker Street, witnessed the tragedy of nine
to eleven, the planes crashing into the buildings, people jumping
(00:41):
to their debts. He was never the same after that.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Came and lived with my husband and I for well
over two years, just sitting rocking at my table, and
he got a job, was able to get a job
in Waterbury and got an apartment and was doing very well.
On the tenth anniversary of nine eleven, the ringing of
all the names of the people that had died in
the building, my brother PTSD came back like as if
(01:07):
it was yesterday. Ranton and Raven that more people died
after nine to eleven from cancer and homelessness in the city,
more than the three thousand people that died in the building.
My twin brother lost his job, lost his apartment, and
he found himself homeless in Waterbury, not telling any of
(01:27):
his family members that he was homeless and just living
day to day homelessness. A man by the name of
Kevin Zach, who found my twin brother's bones in the woods,
went to his childhood friend, who was Father Sullivan from
the Assumption Church down in Antsnia. The two of them
(01:51):
decided that they were going to claim Brian's body, and
I was trying to claim Brian's body also, and it
wasn't until the State's Medical Examiner's office Brian was found
in October. In that time, I had survivor's guilt, very bad,
wondering what I could have done for my brother, what
(02:11):
I could have done more for him, looking for him,
I couldn't find him.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
No, you're fine, it's okay. You feel emotion, it's understandable.
It's your twin brother.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
So I had severe depression, survivor's guilt, and on that
day that I was going to commit suicide, I had
everything planned what I was going to do. I wanted
my twin brother to be buried with me. We were
born together, we should die together. Why he had a
different life than God gave me is I don't know.
(02:48):
But on the day that I was gonna commit suicide,
I called the State's Medical Examiner's office one last time,
and that was on December twenty second, two thousand and seventeen,
and I had to refer to him what I called
His case number was two zero one six one ninety nine,
(03:09):
and it was the year he died, twenty and sixteen,
and he was the one hundred and ninety ninth homeless
person in Connecticut. Unclaimed that just broke me. My phone
rang and it was Father Sullivan from the Church of Assumption.
I knew right then and there that God had answered
my husband's prayers about me and my depression. And here
(03:32):
this man saved my life. He did a mass for
my twin brother, and over three hundred and fifty people
attended a mass for a homeless man that nobody knew.
I knew that I had to do something out of
a tragedy like this. I knew I wanted to change
(03:55):
one person a day to look at a homeless person
that it's somebody's brother and mother and father out on
the street. So my foundation started that March of twenty
seventeen and we have not stopped.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Tell us about Brian's Bags that you refer to. Brian's
Bags is a gallant sized bag. It has everything that
a homeless person will need. It has water, It has
a first aid kit that is put together by all
the Boy Scouts and Girls Scout troops in my town, Watertown.
It has a little prayer saying that there's always hope
(04:31):
and that somebody's thinking about you. It has a can
of chicken salad and tuna salad with crackers and a
little spoon. It has a pair of socks, toothbrush, toothpaste, geyodorant.
It has three different sets of crackers, and on the
very top there's a slim gym. Let's go back for
a moment. When your brother began to spiral down, where
(04:55):
did he actually live homeless?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
He lived on the of the Naugatuck River.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
So for a while there you were seeing your brother
and bringing him things that he needed, and then for
a time you didn't have any contact with him. You
didn't know where he.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Was right I was seeing him every Monday, just to
take him to the grocery store. He was a smoker.
I knew he had lost his job. And then one
day he just stopped showing up for me, and then
I went out looking.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
For him, and then you couldn't find him, But mister
Zach actually stumbled upon him. Yes, and his wife used
to make what's called Reggie bags, a homeless person named Reggie.
So she put these bags together like Brian's bags exactly.
And then you decided to take that on for yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I asked her if I can change the names of
Reggie bags to Brian bags, and she gave me her
blessing right away, and she carries Brian bags in her
car to this day.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, I've seen you pack these Brian bags. I say,
you pack them with love. The fact that you fit
every single item into this bag, it is unbelievable. People
love the bags.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
When they see the bag, the first impression is thank
you God, thank you so much. And some of them
say to me, do I only take one thing out
of that bag? And then when I tell them that
the whole entire bag is theirs, we bless somebody that day.
It doesn't take hunger out of their sight. It's just
to hold them over very nice. Socks are so important
(06:31):
to the homeless besides food, correct, the number one thing
is socks and water. They cannot go into a restaurant
and nests for water if they're not sitting there eating something.
So the most important thing is socks and water.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yes, over the years, you've had parties or events where
people would come together and make all of these bags.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I have over two hundred schools and churches all throughout Connecticut,
New York, Croaton on the Hudson all do Brian bags.
I go to the schools and I tell them my story,
and every child, with the permission of their parents, make
a Brian bag and take one home. My mission is
(07:16):
about not making two hundred and fifty Brian bags with
a school and then I take those two hundred and
fifty Brian bags and give them out. That's not what
my mission is. My mission is for the school to
make the bags, and everybody go out there and look
at a homeless person the way I do that. It's
somebody's brother and sister out there, and it becomes very
(07:38):
contagious when you start giving out the bags. And then
when you don't have a bag, you're like, oh, I
have to make more bags. Because there are more and
more homeless every day. In every town, towns that did
not have homeless, there's homeless people in that town now.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I always say it could happen to anyone at any time,
in any walk of life.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Everybody, every homeless person that's out there has their story
why they're homeless, every one of them. Not one homeless
person ever raised their hand in fifth grade and said
I want to be homeless. They all had a dream,
just like you and I, to be a doctor, a lawyer,
(08:20):
a radio announcement, somebody they wanted to work. Nobody wants
to wake up and say I want to lose everything
today and be homeless. It happens to every can happen
to any one of us at any time, and it
can happen in anybody's family.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
On your website, brianoc dot org, there's a place where
people can donate money or purchase bags. Correct, So how
does how much is one bag? For example? To make?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Usually one bag takes about twelve dollars to make, and
then we get schools and churches donating the stuff, and
then the bags costs nothing because we're getting the stuff
all donated. But everybody in all the churches and schools,
they all love to do Brian bags. They called me
back year after year to do these Brian bags.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
But if somebody wanted to, they could go to the
website and they could just donate and purchase a couple
of bags for you to give out.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yes, and they can always meet me at the Basilica
Church in Waterbury and I can give them the bags.
That's where we do all the transactions. We are the
most God blessed person people when we give out those
Brian bags. Because when you give a Brian bag, the
excitement on a homeless person's face. First of all, you
took away homelessness for three seconds out of their life,
(09:38):
three seconds. And the God blessing me. And we're the
most God blessed people. God wants us to help people,
and this is what we do.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
What advice would you offer to someone who was feeling
suicidal the way you were, how you pulled yourself out
of that. What advice would you give them? My foundation
is faith based. I just tell people, the more you pray,
remember our prayers are not answered on our time, they're
answered on his time, so I can just tell people pray.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Depression can hit anybody at any time.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And again, mental health and addiction go hand in hand,
and we find a lot of people are homeless for
those reasons. So it's not our job to judge. It's
our job to be kind. I tell everybody, do not
look at that homeless person. And when you give out
a Brian bag, I say to them, good morning. My
name is Donna. Can you use a hand up today?
(10:33):
Their pride is so important. They would not be on
that street if they were not hungry or in need
of something. And even if you don't have a Brian bag,
I tell all the kids, smile, say good morning, because
sometimes we are the only ones talking to the homeless people.
And I have friends of mine that ask for Brian
bags on a daily weekly. They want to give out
(10:56):
those Brian bags. They see the joy that a homeless
person and gets for three seconds when they're given that bag,
and they leave the street corner when you give them
that bag. The only thing that a blind man can
see or a deaf person can.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Hear is your kindness. So please be kind to everybody
that you see out there, and no judgment if you
see them with a new coat on a new pair
of shoes. Always think that somebody like me is giving
that homeless person a brand new shoes and a brand
new winter coat. So please just be kind to everybody.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I agree with you. I'm speaking with Donna Finnerin from
Brian's Bags again. Go to brianoc dot org. Thank you
so much for the amazing work that you do, for
serving the community, and for all of your kindness. We
truly appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Thank you so much for having me here Allison, and
it was great seeing you again.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Thank you. I'm Alison Demurs. Thank you for listening to
community excess.
Thank you for listening to Community Access. I'm Allison de
Merz and today have a very special guest with me,
an amazing woman named Donna Fennerin. Donna is the founder
and director of Brian's Bags, which we're going to talk about.
I'm so happy that you came here and you can
share your story with everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You have one of those stories where something really bad happens,
but you turn it around and you make it good. Yes,
let's talk about that story. How did all of that
come about? Well, my twin brother, Brian worked down on
Wall Street on Bleeker Street, witnessed the tragedy of nine
to eleven, the planes crashing into the buildings, people jumping
(00:41):
to their debts. He was never the same after that.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Came and lived with my husband and I for well
over two years, just sitting rocking at my table, and
he got a job, was able to get a job
in Waterbury and got an apartment and was doing very well.
On the tenth anniversary of nine eleven, the ringing of
all the names of the people that had died in
the building, my brother PTSD came back like as if
(01:07):
it was yesterday. Ranton and Raven that more people died
after nine to eleven from cancer and homelessness in the city,
more than the three thousand people that died in the building.
My twin brother lost his job, lost his apartment, and
he found himself homeless in Waterbury, not telling any of
(01:27):
his family members that he was homeless and just living
day to day homelessness. A man by the name of
Kevin Zach, who found my twin brother's bones in the woods,
went to his childhood friend, who was Father Sullivan from
the Assumption Church down in Antsnia. The two of them
(01:51):
decided that they were going to claim Brian's body, and
I was trying to claim Brian's body also, and it
wasn't until the State's Medical Examiner's office Brian was found
in October. In that time, I had survivor's guilt, very bad,
wondering what I could have done for my brother, what
(02:11):
I could have done more for him, looking for him,
I couldn't find him.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
No, you're fine, it's okay. You feel emotion, it's understandable.
It's your twin brother.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
So I had severe depression, survivor's guilt, and on that
day that I was going to commit suicide, I had
everything planned what I was going to do. I wanted
my twin brother to be buried with me. We were
born together, we should die together. Why he had a
different life than God gave me is I don't know.
(02:48):
But on the day that I was gonna commit suicide,
I called the State's Medical Examiner's office one last time,
and that was on December twenty second, two thousand and seventeen,
and I had to refer to him what I called
His case number was two zero one six one ninety nine,
(03:09):
and it was the year he died, twenty and sixteen,
and he was the one hundred and ninety ninth homeless
person in Connecticut. Unclaimed that just broke me. My phone
rang and it was Father Sullivan from the Church of Assumption.
I knew right then and there that God had answered
my husband's prayers about me and my depression. And here
(03:32):
this man saved my life. He did a mass for
my twin brother, and over three hundred and fifty people
attended a mass for a homeless man that nobody knew.
I knew that I had to do something out of
a tragedy like this. I knew I wanted to change
(03:55):
one person a day to look at a homeless person
that it's somebody's brother and mother and father out on
the street. So my foundation started that March of twenty
seventeen and we have not stopped.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Tell us about Brian's Bags that you refer to. Brian's
Bags is a gallant sized bag. It has everything that
a homeless person will need. It has water, It has
a first aid kit that is put together by all
the Boy Scouts and Girls Scout troops in my town, Watertown.
It has a little prayer saying that there's always hope
(04:31):
and that somebody's thinking about you. It has a can
of chicken salad and tuna salad with crackers and a
little spoon. It has a pair of socks, toothbrush, toothpaste, geyodorant.
It has three different sets of crackers, and on the
very top there's a slim gym. Let's go back for
a moment. When your brother began to spiral down, where
(04:55):
did he actually live homeless?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
He lived on the of the Naugatuck River.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
So for a while there you were seeing your brother
and bringing him things that he needed, and then for
a time you didn't have any contact with him. You
didn't know where he.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Was right I was seeing him every Monday, just to
take him to the grocery store. He was a smoker.
I knew he had lost his job. And then one
day he just stopped showing up for me, and then
I went out looking.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
For him, and then you couldn't find him, But mister
Zach actually stumbled upon him. Yes, and his wife used
to make what's called Reggie bags, a homeless person named Reggie.
So she put these bags together like Brian's bags exactly.
And then you decided to take that on for yourself.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I asked her if I can change the names of
Reggie bags to Brian bags, and she gave me her
blessing right away, and she carries Brian bags in her
car to this day.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, I've seen you pack these Brian bags. I say,
you pack them with love. The fact that you fit
every single item into this bag, it is unbelievable. People
love the bags.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
When they see the bag, the first impression is thank
you God, thank you so much. And some of them
say to me, do I only take one thing out
of that bag? And then when I tell them that
the whole entire bag is theirs, we bless somebody that day.
It doesn't take hunger out of their sight. It's just
to hold them over very nice. Socks are so important
(06:31):
to the homeless besides food, correct, the number one thing
is socks and water. They cannot go into a restaurant
and nests for water if they're not sitting there eating something.
So the most important thing is socks and water.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yes, over the years, you've had parties or events where
people would come together and make all of these bags.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I have over two hundred schools and churches all throughout Connecticut,
New York, Croaton on the Hudson all do Brian bags.
I go to the schools and I tell them my story,
and every child, with the permission of their parents, make
a Brian bag and take one home. My mission is
(07:16):
about not making two hundred and fifty Brian bags with
a school and then I take those two hundred and
fifty Brian bags and give them out. That's not what
my mission is. My mission is for the school to
make the bags, and everybody go out there and look
at a homeless person the way I do that. It's
somebody's brother and sister out there, and it becomes very
(07:38):
contagious when you start giving out the bags. And then
when you don't have a bag, you're like, oh, I
have to make more bags. Because there are more and
more homeless every day. In every town, towns that did
not have homeless, there's homeless people in that town now.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I always say it could happen to anyone at any time,
in any walk of life.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Everybody, every homeless person that's out there has their story
why they're homeless, every one of them. Not one homeless
person ever raised their hand in fifth grade and said
I want to be homeless. They all had a dream,
just like you and I, to be a doctor, a lawyer,
(08:20):
a radio announcement, somebody they wanted to work. Nobody wants
to wake up and say I want to lose everything
today and be homeless. It happens to every can happen
to any one of us at any time, and it
can happen in anybody's family.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
On your website, brianoc dot org, there's a place where
people can donate money or purchase bags. Correct, So how
does how much is one bag? For example? To make?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Usually one bag takes about twelve dollars to make, and
then we get schools and churches donating the stuff, and
then the bags costs nothing because we're getting the stuff
all donated. But everybody in all the churches and schools,
they all love to do Brian bags. They called me
back year after year to do these Brian bags.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
But if somebody wanted to, they could go to the
website and they could just donate and purchase a couple
of bags for you to give out.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Yes, and they can always meet me at the Basilica
Church in Waterbury and I can give them the bags.
That's where we do all the transactions. We are the
most God blessed person people when we give out those
Brian bags. Because when you give a Brian bag, the
excitement on a homeless person's face. First of all, you
took away homelessness for three seconds out of their life,
(09:38):
three seconds. And the God blessing me. And we're the
most God blessed people. God wants us to help people,
and this is what we do.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
What advice would you offer to someone who was feeling
suicidal the way you were, how you pulled yourself out
of that. What advice would you give them? My foundation
is faith based. I just tell people, the more you pray,
remember our prayers are not answered on our time, they're
answered on his time, so I can just tell people pray.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Depression can hit anybody at any time.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And again, mental health and addiction go hand in hand,
and we find a lot of people are homeless for
those reasons. So it's not our job to judge. It's
our job to be kind. I tell everybody, do not
look at that homeless person. And when you give out
a Brian bag, I say to them, good morning. My
name is Donna. Can you use a hand up today?
(10:33):
Their pride is so important. They would not be on
that street if they were not hungry or in need
of something. And even if you don't have a Brian bag,
I tell all the kids, smile, say good morning, because
sometimes we are the only ones talking to the homeless people.
And I have friends of mine that ask for Brian
bags on a daily weekly. They want to give out
(10:56):
those Brian bags. They see the joy that a homeless
person and gets for three seconds when they're given that bag,
and they leave the street corner when you give them
that bag. The only thing that a blind man can
see or a deaf person can.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Hear is your kindness. So please be kind to everybody
that you see out there, and no judgment if you
see them with a new coat on a new pair
of shoes. Always think that somebody like me is giving
that homeless person a brand new shoes and a brand
new winter coat. So please just be kind to everybody.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
I agree with you. I'm speaking with Donna Finnerin from
Brian's Bags again. Go to brianoc dot org. Thank you
so much for the amazing work that you do, for
serving the community, and for all of your kindness. We
truly appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Thank you so much for having me here Allison, and
it was great seeing you again.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Thank you. I'm Alison Demurs. Thank you for listening to
community excess.
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