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June 10, 2024 8 mins
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(00:00):
Wake Joe. Well, another day, another pregnant Ashley. I can't believe

(00:23):
I really thought I was playing,you know, koy last week towards the
end of the week, I'm like, this baby's coming this weekend. I
had no rhyme or reason as towhy I have had not a singular sign
of labor. So I don't knowwhy. But I was maybe my mother's
birthday yesterday, when my best friend'sbirthday was yesterday. Maybe I'm gonna have
a little Gemini baby on the ninth. Now it's the tenth, and the

(00:46):
baby's still inside of me. Okay, can't we just play up for the
twenty first like we've all been doingsince the beginning the full term? But
they don't come on their due dates. But point five percent of babies actually
come on their due dates, probablyaround that date, right, whether it's
a day or two before or aday or two. And it's so crazy
because I know people are just tryingto help, But the amount of DMS

(01:10):
I received from women being like,oh, I went forty and five,
I went forty one weeks, Iwent forty two. Don't even look in
my direction if I go after fortyweeks, like don't look over here.
Don't talk to me. MARLINI whoworks in this building told me one hundred
percent guaranteed me I was having thisbaby yesterday. I said, if you
see me Monday and I'm still pregnant, I will slap you. So don't

(01:33):
come. But she's making gonna makemy breakfast. Let me be nice,
but don't tell me these things.But there are too many people out there
who think they know and they don'tknow, because you know what, if
it was down to a science,it'd be a book out there telling you
this is how you do it.I'm so thankful for the first time with
Layla, because like I didn't knowwhat to expect and I just woke up

(01:53):
on thirty seven weeks and moved.Now I know what's gonna happen. So
Bertha is scary. But number two, it's this waiting game and I hate
it, Like when is it goingto be? What? What is ha
Penny? It'll be when it's whenit's here, Yeah, it'll be when
it I'm I'm stressed to the max, like it's I can't get my shoes

(02:14):
on myself. I can't Like Iwas trying to take the clothes out of
the laundry yesterday, and I waslike, just let me do it like
I can do it. I'm notnot who I once wasa crazy. I
also really thought that maybe as soonas none As funeral was over, my
body could then like compute, like, Okay, we have closed that chapter

(02:38):
and we can move on and wecan have a baby. Now, where's
the baby? Yeah? Could betoday though, right, could be this
afternoon, It could be in anhour. I don't know. I hope.
I wanted to tell you guys.So remember Nonea's funeral took place Saturday
in North Carolina. My whole familywas there obviously except for me, and

(02:59):
I was able to watch it virtually. Now, remember the specific part about
this funeral was that my grandmother hadwritten it out herself, so she did
not want any of her sons tospeak. She only wanted the priest to
speak. And you know, I'vebeen to enough funerals at this time in
my life that you can tell whenthe priest has had no or pastor has

(03:23):
had no relationship with the person thathas died. Right, it's like this
generic. First off, my grandmotherwrote a book about herself, and he
quoted the book multiple times which Ithought was just unbelievable. He held the
book, he had it in hishand. He had had a real relationship
with my grandmother because she worked atthe church for years and years and years.

(03:45):
He got emotional a couple of timesabout the fact that she's you know,
he hasn't seen her at service.Uh. But there was one specific
part that I just loved. Hetalked about the day your remembers the day
years ago when my nana went upto him and was like, can I
can I talk to you in youroffice? And he was like sure,

(04:06):
Frian. You know. So theygo into his office and they sit down
and he's like, what's what's goingon? Like, are you okay?
He said at this point, shehad just like renewed her faith with the
with the Catholic Church a couple ofyears back, so he knew it wasn't
something like that. Again, thisis years ago. She goes, no,
I just wanted to check in calendarwise and see what you have scheduled

(04:29):
in the next few years, becauseI want you to do my funeral.
Geez. I look back at herand I said, Fran, yeah,
like I'm open, what are youthinking? And she goes whenever you have
the time, and they had likea little giggle about it. But he's
like, I knew in that timeperiod, like in that like five second
conversation, that she was very seriousthat she wanted not only me to do

(04:53):
her funeral, but me to bethe only person that spoke at her funeral.
And he was just I mean,he was so good, like so
good. And again he knew her. He had been to my grandmother's home,
she had spent so much time inthe church, and he ended uh
his eulogy with a line from herbook and it was like one of the

(05:14):
last lines in her book's gonna mademe cry. But she just said,
I hope when I'm gone, youguys all miss me a little. And
he's like, oh, I hateto tell you, a friend, but
you failed because I can see byall of the two hundred and three hundred
plus people in here that everyone's goingto miss you a lot. It was.
It was amazing. I it wasgreat. I went with the Duke.
I wore my duke, I hadmy Duke flowers, I had none
his picture up. I did thebest I could from from where I was,

(05:38):
But it was it was a verynice closing of that chapter, and
I think the way Nana wrote outher funeral plans because that's how she is,
it was. It was very beautiful. I'm sorry, Frand it's hard
to pencil in the days. Yeah, yeah, you start to feel something,
let's let's revisit totally a fluid situation. We'll see. But uh yeah,

(06:00):
this was like years ago when shewas in perfect health and he was
like a short fran, let meknow the date and we can get it
done. So yeah, obviously Iwas bummed that I couldn't be there,
and there were a lot of tears, but I just thought for what she
would have wanted, it was.It was perfect. Yeah, Rip's had
none of one of the greats.And everybody was asking me, why didn't

(06:20):
you post the video of you knockingdown? And I'm like, I can't
post that on her funeral day.I will do it in the upcoming weeks.
But everybody was like, come on, I just felt bad. Yeah
no, I feel like that.Yeah, like she's not with us anymore.
But she was almost dead at mywedding. Yeah you know what I
mean, So we just gotta moveon. But anyways, how was everyone

(06:41):
else's weekend? Uh, it wascrazy. I had I had date night
on Saturday. I was looking forwardto this. It was great. You
know we may Oh my god,this story. We made plans. I
was so excited. That night wasgreat. We got there about seven thirty.
The night was young. Yeah,we had dinner and went next door
to have a couple more cock tales. It was great. Then all of
a sudden, my wife gets aphone call from her dad, and she's

(07:03):
annoyed, and she's like, whatthe hell because usually this call for nothing.
I'm like, well, it's nineo'clock. Maybe you should answer it
because something might be wrong. Sheanswered it. She starts talking and like
I can tell that something's wrong.And then I hear on the other end
like, well, I think maybeyou should be here. I'm like,
oh my god, it's something dying. So it turns out that my mother

(07:24):
in law fell in the shower andbroke her arm. Geez, she ruled
my date night. You don't understand. I had already put the viacua in
ready, ready to go to theheart. I went to conquered in the

(07:44):
middle of the night, sitting therein the er for hours. Yeah,
like ware to roll. I wishso annoyed. I ended up going to
the car to sleep because all thesepeople kept coming in. It was like
the ear was the Wild West.So I left when in the car,
fell asleep till like two am,till she came back out and said it's
time to go home. Is it'sfine. They can fix that. They

(08:07):
can fix that, Like she ruledmy date night. Guys like, like,
she's fine. You know she didn'thave surgery at some point. But
man, where was it conquered?Conquered away from anybody saw a man sleeping
with a hard penis in the conquereder parking lot. We're sorry, our apologies
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