Dirty Little Secret: I Secretly Hired Someone To Do My Job!

What would you do if you discovered your coworker wasn't actually doing their job... because they secretly hired someone else to do it for them?

Today's Dirty Little Secret featured one of the most shocking workplace confessions we've ever heard. A listener revealed that after her company switched to remote work, she became so bored that she secretly paid a friend to sit at her computer and keep her status active throughout the day while she went out and lived her life. Instead of working, she's running errands, DoorDashing for extra cash, flipping items on Facebook Marketplace, and collecting a paycheck while someone else handles the job.

The craziest part? Her employer has no idea. She's never missed a deadline, received a great performance review, and says everything is running smoothly. Is she an evil genius who's figured out the ultimate work-life hack, or is she one discovery away from losing it all?

Listen to this jaw-dropping Dirty Little Secret and decide for yourself. Have a secret of your own? 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Dirty Little Secret with Billy the Kid in the
Morning on Mix 102.9. Brought to you by Mint Dentistry.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
If you have a secret, bring it on. Make it good.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
It's Billy the Kid, Candace Lopez, producer Pooh. It doesn't
matter what the confession is. It just feels good to
get it off your chest.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
I think next week we're going to confess something for
Dirty Little Secret. At least I said I would. I
don't know if Candace will. I will, yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
I don't know if you'll like it. Yeah, I will.
What do you mean you don't know if we'll like it? Well,
you think my secrets are weak. Well, because they are.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
They are. I'll give you a weak secret.

Speaker 3 (00:30):
The last time we did this, we said you went
last and we said all these like deep secrets we've
never said on the air.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
And she's like, I got a secret. Sometimes I cook
this and don't tell Eric that there's salt in it.
And we're like, what? That was your secret. So either way,
we might do it next week. But you're right. I
got to make sure your secret is good.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
All right.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Seek your soft secrets. Your diet secrets. Fine.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
They're light. All right. 833-787-1029 if you got one, and
you do.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
So I have a work secret that could get me
fired immediately because this is crazy. It's the wrong person here.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
What is going on?

Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah. Okay, so about a year and a half ago,
my company closed our main office and moved, I'd say,
about 90% of us to working from home, and I
was one of them, right?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
So not to brag, not to brag, but I can
do this in my sleep. Like, eyes closed, I just
sit at a computer all day, answer emails, I think, think.
You get it.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's not a big deal, you know what I mean?
And it pays good. But it's definitely not exciting. So
after a couple of months of working from home, I
was so bored. And I just wanted to sleep half
the time, okay? But don't worry about it. And I
was seriously considering quitting.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Then I said, you know what?

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I have a friend who has a disability and has
a ton of free time. I offered to pay them
every week to basically sit at the computer, keep me active,
move the mouse around, okay? So it looks like I'm working.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
So you hire, wait, you said that you have a
friend on disability who does. So you hired someone to
do your job for you.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
How's that working out? Yeah. How can you do that?

Speaker 3 (02:18):
But how do you– so you're not paying them– you're
obviously not paying them your full salary because then you'd
be like.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
How do you survive?

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Because, I mean, so you've got to consider they're already
getting disabilities. So I'm just giving them a little sharp shot,
and this has really been working out. And nobody at
my company has caught on whatsoever.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Right.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
And in the meantime, I'm living my best life. And
I feel like I'm unemployed, but I'm completely employed. So
what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh, you're just doing your thing. She's doing Real Housewives Live. Yeah,
she is.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Exactly. I run errands, go shopping sometimes. Now, you're going
to think this is strange, but I door dash during
my workday to make extra money while somebody else is
at my house doing the job I'm currently being paid for.
And I got, you know, other little side hustles where
I find stuff cheap, flip it, sell it on Facebook market.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
So you got.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
So you're doing door dash?

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah, you're making money.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Huh.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Golly. I don't know if this is the smartest... This
might be the smartest plan I've ever heard.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
I mean.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
People outsource things all the time. This makes sense. Yeah,
you basically outsourced your own job without permission. Right.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
You got to think outside the box, okay?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Yeah, so, I mean, would they? Of course they would care.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
I'm not going to say your work wouldn't care because
they have no idea what's going on, but the job's
getting done.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Exactly. The job is getting done. My boss is happy.
I've never missed a deadline. Nobody's complaining about my performance.
In fact, I got a good review. So part of
me is like, who cares? Who cares?

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Right. They don't care.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, she's just sitting back, clicking her mouth. And obviously
my company would care, which is why I'm calling you
guys anonymously. This isn't even my voice.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
You are.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
You're something else.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
I need a side hustle. I need, like... You sound
super happy.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
I'm wondering if I could pay someone to do this
and then I go out and do something else and
double dip.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
You're double dipping.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yes, he is.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Well, you know what?

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Living your best life. You got all the time in
the world to do whatever you want. And, I mean,
I do understand that. Like, I would get bored working
from home. You do kind of go crazy. So you
just got to do something. And this way you get
to do whatever you want. You get some more money.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
It all works out.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
And.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
So you're making.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
More money, even when you're paying, as you're paying someone
to do your job, you're still making more money than
you would if you were just working your job.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yes, I am. And doing that is actually kind of fun.
You know what I mean? People don't tip like they should,
but it's interesting. I've met a lot of people and
stuff like that. I feel busy, like I'm moving and
in the sun.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Like productive.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Being at home is fun. Yeah, yeah. Being at home
all the time, I'm bored out of my mind.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I wonder if there's other people who do this. I'm
going to find out. If you do this, let me know.
But thank you for your secret, and good for you.
And don't worry, if I get you as a DoorDash,
I'll tip you well.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Okay. Hook me up. All right. You're an evil genius.
Thank you. Have a good one.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
You too.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Too many people ideas out there now.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Right?

Speaker 2 (05:33):
I wonder if I could do that. Don't try it
at home.