Dirty Little Secret:I Tried to Stop a Plane for My Friend

What started as a drunken attempt to help a friend turned into one of the biggest travel disasters imaginable.

A listener confesses that while heading to Las Vegas with a group of friends, one member of the group was running late and in danger of missing their flight. After a few too many airport drinks and a little too much confidence, he came up with what he thought was a genius plan: fake a seizure to delay the flight long enough for his friend to make it to the gate Unfortunately, the plan worked a little too well.

Flight attendants rushed into action, paramedics were called, airport personnel sprang into emergency mode, and the airline captain ultimately decided there was no way the "medical emergency" passenger was getting on the plane. Instead of heading to Las Vegas, he found himself taking an unexpected trip to the hospital while the flight departed without him...

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is dirty little secret, Nick's one or two point nine?
All right, any kind of confession, any kind of secret
you have, bring it eight three three seven eight seven
one o two nine. It doesn't matter what it is.
We can keep it anonymous to non judgment zone.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
You have a secret, what's up? Oh man?

Speaker 3 (00:18):
I'm like, I'm embarrassed even tell the story honestly because
it sounds so unbelievably stupid.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Now.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
But a couple of years ago, I completely ruined a
trip to Vegas by trying to be a hero while
I was drunk.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh yeah, drunk, heiro.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
When I heard drunk, I said, okay, what do you mean,
a drunk hero?

Speaker 2 (00:41):
All right?

Speaker 3 (00:42):
So me and a few bodies were headed to like
to Vegas for a guy's weekend, right, And we got
to the airport early, and we started having drinks, and
and it just turned into like way more than just
a couple.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Drinks, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Yeah, So by the time we were boarding, like as
as it happens right on our way Vegas, I guess
you should.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Uh so.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
But by the time we were boarding, like I was,
I was feeling feeling pretty good, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
I was feeling myself like real, real good.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
So one of our friends we didn't think was gonna
make it.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
He was. He didn't make it. He wasn't there early,
he wasn't drinking, he was running late, and we.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Were thinking like, he's probably gonna miss the flight. At
this point, you know, they started boarding. So my alcohol
fueled brain decided to say I've got this, and without
thinking it through for even two seconds, I decided to
fake having a seizure. WHOA yeah. I was like, if
I do this, they will stop the plane and it

(01:41):
will buy him some time to get there.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Oh my god, So you wait, you fake having a seizure?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
How did it go down?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
You're like, first of all, that's that has got to
be an alcohol fueled decision.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
I didn't say there was a lot of yeah, there's
not a lot of thinking involved.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
It was just kind of a yeah. And I'd like,
you asked, how did it go down?

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Well, it was me going down immediately and it.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Was not good.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
And then everybody else came down too, like it worked
really well, but not the way I had planned.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
People.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
So here you are, you're doing your thing, You're faking
a seizure, thinking this is going to stall the plane
from leaving.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
So what like, Oh, my buddy's gonna make it, and
I'll be like I'll be fine, you know what.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
So what happens.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Everybody both believed what was happening, except for my friends,
but they were smart enough not to get involved.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
They were just standing there kind of watching.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Everybody else bought it. Within seconds, flight attendants swarmed me.
You know, people were freaking out. The people at the
check in desk called paramedics and and like they got
you know, it was still I figured like once everyone
showed up, I just kind of snap out of it
and be like, oh, I feel fine, and then it
would be okay to fly.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Apparently that's not how it worked.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah, that's your drunk brain thinging. I wouldn't expect you
to be okay and continue on if you just but.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
I don't know how it works. I don't know, I
don't know. You're right. Yeah, I was like, oh, I
just have seizures. It's fine, I'm fine.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
But the so paramedics got there and they got close
and they could smell the alcohol in my breath. They
told the captain and he decided that he wasn't comfortable
letting me stay on the flight. I don't know if
you thought something was up, but either way, he was like,
this drunk seizure guy is not coming on the flight.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
So the plane took off without me. Oh and I couldn't.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Like yeah, and I couldn't admit that I was faking
the seizure at this point, because.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
I was like, I could get in a lot more trouble.
At least my drunk brain said that. To me, it
was like, tell them you're faking it.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
So I had to, you know, go to the take
a ride to the hospital.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Go through the whole thing. Oh yeah, And.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
The best part is the plane still left before my
friend even made it to the gates.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
You didn't get he didn't even get on the plane.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
We both didn't get to go. Yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
From the hospital. Yeah, where do you you? So you
actually had to go to the hospital. They're taking the
hospital to check you out and all.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah. But you know, like I just kind of played
a lot.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
Once I was at the hospital, I was like, I
feel fine, and then you know, they left.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
They let me go.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Everybody on that plane thought they witnessed like an actual emergency,
except for my friends.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
No, my God, what what?

Speaker 1 (04:34):
First of all, you're kind of a good friend, like, yeah,
a friend that would fake a season.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
So take one for the team.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
So I don't missed a flight because I'll tell you
what a pooh producer Poo's on his way to the
flight and he's late. I am not faking anything. I
know my go too bad.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
He's late.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
He's late. But oh well, I mean you learn.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, it was definitely one of the dumber things. But
I appreciate you guys validating like I was trying to
be a good friend. My heart was in the right place,
I felt.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
And there's so many people telling that story, like this
guy had a seizure and it was crazy freaking out
your friends like our idiot missed an entire trip. Our
idiot friend missed an entire trip. Oh that's a fun
story you got to tell. I don't know if it's
worth it, but either way, well, thank you sir, and

(05:25):
you have a good day. We appreciate you calling.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
I did mess up a flight one time though, because
I wanted to get off the flight. I had a
weird feeling. I wanted to get off the plane immediately
because the weather was bad and I thought they were
going to delay it, and they didn't, and I wouldn't
get on. I said, I got to get off, and
they were like what. I'm like, I have to get
off the plane. I got off there like well we
have to wait then and get your bags off, and
I'm like, do whatever you have to do. I can't
get on this flight. And I felt bad because I

(05:50):
was delaying the flight. But it was snowing so bad.
We were in New York. It was snowing so bad
that planes couldn't land. But you mean to tell me
we could take off? Oh wow. I'm like, no, I.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Don't feel comfortable doing that. I gotta go.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
They were mad, and I called Poo, who was in
New York at the time, too. Yeah, like we're driving
wherever we gotta go. Yeah, he was.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
He was cuddled up with some girl.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, I was some girl he.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
Was talking to.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
And I said, you got to meet me at budget
rent a car.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
I didn't ask no questions. I just showed up Cannon.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
He was what a good friend is? Like, how much
am I getting paid?

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Though,