Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is iHeart Sinsey. This is a voice for the
Tri State community, bringing you solutions to problems that we
experience here in the Tri State and many more things.
That's what we're doing today. I'm Sandy Collins. You know,
grief hits all ages, all races, all economic groups. Losing
somebody that you love and depend on drastically changes your
(00:22):
world forever. We've all been through it, some more than others.
Is something that we don't talk about. And today my
guests want that to change. They lost someone special and
use their experience to create a loving community. They call
Companions on a Journey grief support. It's based in Old
Westchester where anyone can go to find help and resources
(00:42):
to survive it, live with it, and make the right
choices when grief strikes. I'd like to welcome my guest,
Sheila monofol Canosa, and she is the founder of Companions
on a Journey. It's a grief support group. It's very
unique here in the Tri State. She's the executive director
and her sons are with us, Tony and Mike, and
(01:03):
they're here today to talk about a very special event
that helps raise money to promote their mission. If you
will to help people with their grief. So, Sheila, Tony, Mike,
welcome to iHeart Cincy, and thank you for being here today.
Everybody all right, great, thanks for having us, no problem.
(01:24):
Let's let's talk about Companions on a Journey. It's an
interesting name, Sheila. We've had your organization on before. Let's
remind folks what Companions on a Journey is, why you
started it, and what it offers people here in the
Tri State.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Well, I started Companions on a Journey after my first
husband's death. He was thirty nine and I had three
children at the time and work for Procton Gamble.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It asks for some time off. Couldn't get that time
off back then.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
And so I designed and I really took it to
prayer to find out what God wanted me to do
with the rest of my life.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And I got one day, you have a bereavement center.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
And didn't know what that was, but I realized I
had to put my own oxygen mask on first to
understand what myself was going through and what my children
were going through. Because unless I can help our family,
how can I help someone else? And so then in
nineteen ninety seven, which was twenty seven years ago, we
began companions on a Journey. God even gave me the
(02:27):
name Companions on a Journey. I was at church and said,
can you give me the name?
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Lord?
Speaker 2 (02:31):
And I got companions on a Journey, And I thought
that just came too easy.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
And the very very song was we are companions on
a journey.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
No, that's why we are companions.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We work with children, teens, adults and families, one child,
one teen adult at a time, and we also work
we have many different services. We work with workplace support,
which I've supported Tony and Mike's organization, Pro Link, community education,
family programs, adult programs, mending hearts for grieving children, teens
(03:04):
and families, as well as our school program and this
memorial golf outing named on behalf of my husband, Vince Monofo.
This is our tenth year to have that, and I thought,
having my sons, you know, they could give you a
perspective of the importance of being able to help a
grieving child as well as adults and workplace grief.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Tony Michael, you both lost your father when you were younger.
How old were you, Tony?
Speaker 4 (03:32):
I was fourteen years old. It happened my first day
of high school, freshman year.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
At Mouler and Michael, I was twelve years old and
I was in sixth grade.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So your father died suddenly. He wasn't sick.
Speaker 5 (03:50):
Now, he had battle cancer for over ten years. It
was given less than a year to live and he
ended up living ten. So we feel like that we
were blessed to have those ten years with our father.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You saw what your mother went through. Do either one
of you mind telling us a little bit about what
you went through when you lost your dad, Michael and
Go first.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Yeah, basically you see your parents as you know, Superman, Superwoman,
you know nothing can happen to him. Even though you
know our father was sick, you know, I never thought
that he would pass. So basically, you get your heart
ripped out and you get lost. You're lonely, you know
why me And it's a very vulnerable time that I
(04:38):
guess you could take a lot of different directions in life.
So really having the expertise the people to help you
grieve is so so important because if you don't grieve,
you're eventually gonna grieve, and I think it's a lot worse.
So you have to get it out. You have to
speak your mind, and it's great to have like mind
(04:59):
and peace people around you that have gone through it.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Tony your thoughts on this, Yeah, you know, for me
it was similar to Mike, but certainly you don't expect
your parents to pass away and then suddenly they do.
And for me, it was right when I was beginning
high school and I was playing football and you would
see the dads, you know, with their sons after practice
(05:24):
or at the games, and suddenly you realize, for the
rest of your life, you're going to miss something. And
so I started kind of forward thinking about you know,
getting my driver's license, prom you know, graduating high school,
what college am I going to go to, marriage, grandkids,
(05:44):
And you can find yourself in a really dark spot,
and you know, fortunately our mom was proactive and saying, hey,
you need to go speak to somebody.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
You need to go talk to somebody. And for me, personally,
I went and all five different counselors, and I just
felt like none of them could really relate to me.
And they said they would say, I know what you're
going through, and I'm like, oh, really, you lost your
father in high school and they're like, well, I didn't
lose my father, but I lost my grandfather. I'm like, well, actually,
(06:15):
you don't know what that's like then, And so it
wasn't until I met father Mike at Moehler, who lost
his father in high school, and he said, I get you,
And I said, what do you mean? Because I lost
my father in high school. And right then I knew
I could be fully open and transparent with him because
he felt my pain. And I think that's what special
Black commanders on the journey is they have so many
(06:39):
different experts that unfortunately have gone through experiences that people
can relate to.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Sheila, you were able to find some resources when there
weren't any. You created your own. How did you do
when they were trying to find their way as young
men and a grieving the loss of your husband and
their father.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Well, first of all, I would say, even to this day,
if I talk about my children's grief, it can cause
me to have a grief moment, because the christ of
your children at the hardest part of their life, when
they need their father the most, it's devastating to you.
And I just knew as a family we needed to
pull together, because I feel a family that grieves together
(07:27):
heals together.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
And we still grieve.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know, We'll be sitting around the table for Thanksgiving
or an event and we'll go, who's sitting in Dad's chair?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Get out of his chair, you know, So we still
talk about him, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
And the boys have a family first wall that talks
about their legacy and how their legacy.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Has also fulfilled their father's legacy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
And I want that for all children and families, you know,
to realize that we've gone through the toughest thing that
we can in our lives. But you know, by providing
that hope, strain and healing to individuals that are grieving,
and to be able to help parents to be able
to see through the eyes of their children, that we
can help build that strength that they need.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
We companion with them. And it's ongoing.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You know, grief just doesn't affect you the first year,
the second year, as Tony talked about, you know, learning
how to drive a car. You know, I remember going
in his room and there was this cheese of picture
and it was tilted and I fixed it and there
was a hole in the wall and Tony said, I said, Tony,
tell me what's going on here? And he said, I'm angry.
Mom and I said, well, I can see that you
(08:34):
were angry. What was it about? And he goes, I'm
angry that dad's not here to teach me how to
drive a car.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
And I said, I'm angry about that too.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
So what we ended up doing was we got this
backling and the tape and sanded the wall down and
fixed it, and we talked about ways in which we
could cope with that anger, because it's okay to be okay,
and it's okay not to be okay, but when we
keep it inside of us, it becomes like concrete. And
so we really have to find ways, and we have
various different activities and sessions that we bring out that
(09:04):
voice for that child or that adult, as well as
in the workplace as well. And so for me, I'm
very proud of my sons and all of my children
because they continue to they continue to honor their grief,
and that is really what we want people to do
in life, is to honor your grief, not to be
ashamed by it, because if it's unresolved, it can become
(09:27):
really heavy for someone, causing them to lose their self esteem.
There's self confidence, all those different things, and maybe even
cause risky behaviors and possibly even suicide if unresolved. So
we don't want it to become complicated. We want it
to be where they can manage it.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Your services don't cost anything. All they have to do
is contact companions on a journey and you have the
website there with all the information. There are programs all
over in schools at the location. Also, you're still up
in the Dayton area as well in Montgomery County.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
We have a group CJ in Dayton, but currently it's
all Westchester down and we're really looking forward to this.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
The golf outing.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Was your husband a golfer?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
My husband was a left handed golfer. So I will
say that.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
My sons and I have a grandson, Tyler, that just
placed second in his age group for golfing, So we
say that dad maybe had a little bit of that,
you know in him. But we chose August because that
was the month that Fince died and Michael and our
past one of our passport members, Ryan but had came
(10:37):
to us and said, you know what, we.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Need to get you out of the home and into
an office.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And so the first year we raised enough funds to
cover our entire rent for a year and our utilities,
and so that was the first and now this carries
us to be able to provide those services to the
bereaved free of charge.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Tony and Michael, which one of you is the better golfer?
No no competition here, but.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
I think Tony and I need to get on the
course more. I would like to play him to see
who's better.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
You haven't played yet.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
We're not great, I'll tell you that.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I think it depends on the day, Sandy. I think
it's it goes back and forth. I think the one
thing that we can agree on, both of our oldest
boys are better than both of us.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You know, And that's that's something that you can you
can admit to your family that doesn't hurt at all
because you're so proud of your kids. And that's a
good thing too about this golf tournament. You don't have
to be great. You just have to participate in and
believe in the mission and meet this great family. It's
just coming up the tenth anniversary of the Vince Monofo
(11:46):
Golf Outing and that is August the seventh. Where's it
held and how do we get signed up? Chila?
Speaker 3 (11:53):
It's at glen View golf course.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
You can sign up online or if you want to
contact Alyssa Luigi for numbers five one, three, five, four, nine, seven, eight,
one eight or again, you can go to our website
and sign up. We have spots available as well as
sponsorships and it's going to be a fun day.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
We love playing, playing with friends, family. It's such a
good cause and you know, we wouldn't be where we're
at today if it wasn't for companions on a journey,
you know. Again, shout out to Ryan but for helping
us start the golf outing and where it's started to
(12:34):
where it's now. It's tremendous.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Glenn.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
You is a great, great course. If you've not been there,
it's one of Cincinnati Public's finest courses. And we always
have a blast and uh celebrating the loved ones that
we've lost.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Tony's some final words, Yeah, obviously final words.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
I am just really grateful for coj obviously proud of
our mom for you know, really listening to God and
following her heart. You know, she has helped pro Link
out over the thirteen years that we have been in business.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Pro Link is your company.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Yeah, pro Link is a workforce Solutions staffing firm headquartered
here in Cincinnati, and we staff all over the country.
But unfortunately, over the last four years or thirteen years,
we've lost four people, and Companions on the Journey has
come in and provided grief support and counseling to the
(13:30):
individuals that were impacted. It's just a wonderful cause, and
you know, the golf outing, to Mike's point, is really
a great way for all of us to get together
support a great cause, but also celebrate our loved ones
that we have lost in the past and really carry
out their individual legacies.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Sheila, thanks so much for being on the show. Let
us know how the golf tournament goes, will you We
sure will.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Sandy, thank you again for having us.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, thanks, Sandy, Thank you. They are online at Companions
on a Journey, a nonprofit located at eighty eight fifty
seven Cincinnati Dayton Road in Westchester Township. I got email.
If you've got a question, comment suggestion, hit the sund
button and send it to Iheartsinsey with an i at
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(14:17):
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Speaker 5 (14:29):
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