January 12, 2026 • 29 mins
Grief hits differently depending on how the loved one is lost. Companions on a Journey Grief Support has gathered for 30 years in the Cincinnati region, helping widows, parents, children and all others survive their grief, express it in a safe environment, and is a no-cost program. The founders have formed several types of groups for young widows/widowers, older ones, and now people who have lost their cherished loved one through drug Overdose, whether intentional or accidental. Today's show with facilitator Julie Leonard explores the support system created for this special population, tells where to find it and offers first-hand experience in the intentional death of her husband by overdose.
Companions on a Journey Grief Support website
Companions on a Journey Grief Support, Inc.
8857 Cincinnati Dayton Rd. Suite #002
West Chester, OH 45069
513-870-9108
Monday-Thursday, 9am-3pm
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This week on iHeart Sinsey.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Where our society lacks knowledge, deeply, deeply lacks knowledge is
how to talk to people who have had a loss.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Today, my guess is Julie Leonard, one of the three
new facilitators of a grief support group in the Try State,
a special group of friends and family who have lost
loved ones through drug overdose. Julie explains her own loss
and why she now helps others make their way through
the very personal grieving process and where you can find
out more about Companions on a Journey, a no cost
(00:33):
grief support system in the Try State. Now on iHeart
Sinsey with Sandy Collins, This is iHeart since I'm Sandy Collins.
You know one thing that we don't talk about enough
in public is grief. So many of us are hurting
from recent deaths, long ago losses, dealing with loved ones
who leave us way too soon. So the nonprofit Companions
(00:55):
on a Journey Grief support Group has been providing in
person grief support for beef children and teens, adults and
families here in Southwest Ohio since nineteen ninety seven. In
twenty twenty four, they helped over one thousand adults and
nearly two thousand children find hope and strength and healing
through the grief process. Now, this began with one woman
(01:16):
who lost her husband and her children's father suddenly through
an illness. The founder of Companions on a Journey couldn't
find the resources that she felt her family needed to
get the support for her two boys, so they lost
their dad at a critical time in their lives when
they were teenagers. So she started Companions on a Journey
to kind of help those who find themselves in a
similar situation. So, through donations, Companions on a Journey pays
(01:38):
facilitators to hold support meetings now in multiple locations across
the tri State to offer a safe place for understanding
where like minded others can offer support to each other
and help. So we're coming up on thirty years, and
over the last three decades, Companions on a Journey's grown
to include special populations, like the young teen men at
(02:01):
Moeller High School. They meet and share their losses of
their parents and their grandparents and friends, and then find
commonality with their fellow students. When someone dies, it's obviously hard,
but the circumstances can make it harder to handle. You know,
we're all preparing to lose our grandparents and our parents
someday to old age. Hopefully we're not prepared often for
(02:25):
a family member or a friend or partner to die
violently or accidentally, or even at their own hand, whether
it was an accident or intentional. So today let me
get to it. Now. We are a learning of a
new group created out of a specific need of losing
someone we love who overdosed. My guest today is one
(02:46):
of the new founders of this support group, Julie Leonard.
She's going to share her story and how tri staters
who find themselves facing this tragedy to find some loving
support from others who share your experience. So, Julie Leonard,
welcome and thanks for taking time today here.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
How are you, Absolutely my pleasure. I'm doing well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So tell me a bit about your story, how you
came to companions on a journey, and how you came
to running this group. We'll start first with the little
bit about you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Absolutely. So. In two thousand and eight, my husband Steve
took his own life by overdose, and we had at
the time three kids. We have three kids, but they
were at the time nine, six and two, and I
met Sheila because I was a parishioner where she goes
to church at Saint Maximilliam Colby, and she introduced me
(03:43):
to companions on a journey at that point, and my
first experience with kind of being a misfit in a
group was I joined the Widow's Group and it was
me and a bunch of other people who were in
their seventies who had lost partners of fifty plus years.
They were struggling with being alone, cooking for one, all
(04:04):
of those kinds of struggles that one would expect, and
I was struggling with trying to restart my career. I'd
been a stay at home mom trying to figure out
how to manage everything with three little kids, manage their grief.
We had things in common, but so much was just
a misfit, and I ended up being one of the
(04:24):
founding members of the Young Widows Group. I had known
a couple of other people from my career PNG who
had lost spouses, and so we kind of formed that group.
I wasn't ready to go to a suicide lost group
at the time. They had a group I attended once
there were people talking about losing a child, and I
(04:46):
was just so raw. I couldn't I couldn't handle it.
So I stuck with a Young Widow's group through the
early part of my healing and eventually started facilitating co
facilitating in that group. And then Sheila express need for
a facilitator to join the Hope and Healing after a
suicide loss group, and I tried that, and I felt
(05:08):
that I found that I was in a better place
and I was able to handle that topic because it's different,
it's more raw, there's more anger and guilt and struggle
with why. It's a lot easier to wrap your head
around the why of a cancer loss. For example, when
you can see the scans of a tumor, you can
(05:28):
see blood work, you know what's going on. When it's
a symptom of the mind. What that ends up looking
like is behavior and choices. And the thing that took
me such a long time to wrap my personal mind
around is those choices are being made with a mind,
with your brain that is broken, it is damaged, it
(05:50):
is ill. And because of that, the choices that people make,
you struggle so much trying to understand why can't you
just make better choices? And you need to really get
to a place of compassion. There's a lot of additional
layers of emotion that you have to kind of get through,
and then there's all the social stigma that comes with it.
(06:13):
I do know that two of the other folks that
are going to be facilitating really were kind of the
spark and the advocates or creating this overdose loss group
because they had experienced that same kind of loss, and
so they were in an open grief group and those
groups are kind of any type of loss, and they
(06:34):
love their group, but they kept thinking, I want to
talk more about the things that are kind of unique
to this type of loss. I found that to be
really healing and important once I was ready in the
suicide loss group. The widow's group is different too, child
loss groups those folks have. It's a different experience. And
so the beauty of the way COJ does this is
(06:57):
you're in a group of people who not only understand loss,
but they also understand all of the particulars of your
type of loss.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
It really does make a difference when you're all speaking
kind of the same language. You're listening to Julie Leonard,
she is the new facilitator, one of three that's going
to be leading groups of folks who lose their loved
ones through overdose and trying to deal specifically with the
issues that happen when you lose someone like that. I've
(07:28):
told Sheila before and and you know, I lost my
dad when I was five, So you miss them forever.
You miss them through all of the special moments that
you would share with that loved one, high school graduations,
turning sixteen, college marriage, birth of your children. And that
is really tough. But it's different because he died naturally.
(07:50):
I can't imagine how difficult it is when someone is murdered,
or someone takes their own life, or it's an accident.
They just drive away by sweetie, I'll see you later,
and then some clown hits them on the highway and
that's it. So there are different types of loss, and
I love that Companions on a Journey is really focusing
on finding those core groups and serving their needs. Let
(08:12):
me tell you, Companions on a Journey doesn't charge anything.
So let's talk about that just real quick so that
we can get back so people aren't thinking, oh, do
I have to pay for this? You know, how does
this work?
Speaker 2 (08:22):
So you had mentioned the facilitators. There are a few
people on staff that the vast majority of us are volunteer,
so most of the organization runs on volunteers. We're in
I don't even remember the statistic how many schools across
the Cincinnati region.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I think it's at least dozens. I remember that.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I think it's more like sixty. So it's a lot.
I should I should have had that. It's okay, I apologize,
But there are there are a myriad of adult groups.
There are an awful lot of activities. There's a there's
a Mending Hearts for families and children where the parents
and children come together, or guardians and so those programs
(09:05):
are all run on donations. So there's an annual golf
outing each year and there's a breakfast and between those
two things and just people who do ongoing gifting. That's
that's where all of the funding comes from.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
So you can contact companions on a journey if you want. Today,
they're online and we'll give you more contact information as
well about how to access or at least start that conversation.
Not everybody's ready to jump in, you know, They're like,
I just want to know what am I getting into?
And sometimes, like you said, you're not even ready to
(09:41):
grieve even though you're grieving. How long did it take
you from when you first started into the Elderly Widows
group to moving to the Young Widow's group and then
moving on to addressing the suicide loss. How many years
or months was that.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I have my degrees in psychology, so I immediately wanted help.
Immediately started with an individual therapist. I got my kids
into therapy, and I started us into groups. I know
not everybody does that. Some people start when it's very fresh,
some people it might be years.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
I started with the Widows group fairly quickly, I would say,
probably within the month after my loss, and I probably
attended that two or three times and was in conversation
with Sheila at the same time about this is.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Wonderful and they're lovely, but this isn't quite working for me,
And then she was kind of her wheels returning, and
so that Young Widows group started up fairly quickly. From there,
I went through, you know, attending as a member for
several years and starting to help facilitate, went to facilitator training,
and then became one of the co facilitators of that
(10:53):
Young Widows group again. For I probably did that for
a year or two, so it took some time. I
don't know that if I had been asked earlier that
I would have thought I wasn't ready to join the
suicide loss group. I just think it was sort of
timing when they needed somebody trying.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
To give folks an idea of how long it takes
to actually get through some of these things. Just a
side note, when I was in my twenties, I was
so worried about losing my mother because my dad had
passed when I was a kid, that I wanted to
go to a grief support group before she even died,
because I was terrified of how am I going to function?
(11:32):
And it was through talking to my doctor and explaining
my absolute abject fear where he said, you know, this
is a natural, normal thing that will happen, and you
will have the strength to get through it and you
need to do whatever you need to do, and that
just really helped me. So just reaching out to my
doctor to start with about grief, whether it's before, during,
or after, is a great place to start. And of
(11:54):
course companions on the journey is there as well. We
got a quick reset. We'll be back with more. iHeart Sincy.
Was Julie Leonard talking about the grief support group for
overdose loss at Companions on a Journey that's coming up
on iHeart Cincy. This is fifty five karc an iHeartRadio station.
(12:16):
All right, let's get back to it. This is iHeart Cincy.
I'm your host Sandy Collins. Today we're talking with Julie Leonard.
She is one of the new facilitators of a support
group from Companions on a Journey that is focusing on
the loss from overdose and how to deal with the
myriad of emotions and problems and offers solutions for folks
(12:38):
here in the Tri State who are grieving. Julie got
involved with Companions on a Journey after she suffered a
loss her husband intentionally overdosed and left her with her
two children and a lot of unanswered questions and a
lot of grief. By the way, if you are feeling
that way, if you're feeling like help, called nine eight eight.
(13:02):
That number is nationwide. It'll connect you with local resources,
people who will not judge, people who care, and people
who want to see you get the help that you need.
Because you don't want to make a permanent decision based
on a temporary problem. So let's talk about the overdose
support group that's here. Where are they going to be
(13:24):
meeting and can you give an idea of like, you
know what, when and how that works.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
So that meeting is going to be held at spring
Grove Funeral Home on spring Grove Avenue. They have a
really lovely meeting space there. It's going to meet the
fourth Tuesday of every month, and so we typically try
to stick to that day. Occasionally, if there's a holiday
or something that falls on that date, it might move.
(13:50):
I don't know how vulnerable the fourth Tuesday is to that.
It doesn't happen very often. In the Suicide Lost group,
we meet the first Tuesday of the month and that
will be help from six to seven thirty pm. And
each of those groups typically has a topic, there's an
activity that goes with it. You get some materials to
take home with you, some things to think about. The
(14:12):
Really my experience with these groups has been that there's
kind of instant connection and camaraderie between people. Some people
arrive and they're really worried. It's hard to get out
of the car, it's hard to get in there, and
they think they're going to be expected to do a
bunch of talking. All you really have to say is
(14:33):
your first name and who you're there to remember. And
if that's all you can get out for a while,
that's okay. You're still going to take something away from
the other things that people are saying. And I really
do find that over time people are able to share more.
It is a place that some people will kind of
reserve to go cry. Those tiers are in a safe space. Men, women,
(14:57):
people of all ages. The connection that you find there
in the shared experiences is really truly powerful. And I
know that for overdose it's very similar to suicide loss
in that the person is making choices that are driven
by addiction. That addictive brain is very different than a
(15:18):
healthy brain in the same way that a suicidal brain
is very different. And there's all of the things that
lead up to that overdose loss. Oftentimes, there are people
who have been stealing from their family members, They've been lying,
they you know's, they may have been in and out
of rehab, they may have lost jobs. Sometimes they may
have had run ins with the law, and there's guilt
(15:40):
and shame and anger and all these past terrible things
that have been said to them. All of that adds
these layers to the loss, to the grief, and so
I think the opportunity for people to really talk about
that experience is going to be really important.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Part of what you're assuming is that it's an intentional overdose,
I'm also thinking, yeah, I'm also thinking of people that
just accidentally here, you know, I don't feel well, I've
got a pill and yeah, take this, my doctor gives
it to me. It's it's fake, and you're spentanyl and
you're gone. So exactly, there is a different need there too.
There's a whole subset of people who just die accidentally
(16:20):
through overdose, but you're welcoming them to this group as well.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
There are going to be people who maybe you know,
maybe they have a child or a family member who
goes to a party, or they accept a med from
somebody that they think is supposed to help them with
the headache that they have and it's laced with something
and they didn't know. Those kind of accidents happen far
more often than we realize, and it can be very
(16:46):
sudden and out of nowhere, and it can be a
person that had no history whatsoever. So there are going
to be some differences in those experiences. You make a
great point.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
I'm speaking with Julie Leonard, and she is one of
the facilitators of a new group being formed by companions
on a journey for if people who've lost their loved ones,
their friends, their family, their neighbors through overdose, and the
difference in losing someone in that manner versus a car
accident or the worst murder, somebody gets killed, people that
(17:20):
lose their children through the gunfire. That's here in Cincinnati.
There's so much grief in this town, and we're trying
to acknowledge that and offer support for folks that find
themselves in those situations and know that you're not alone. Julie,
after your husband took his life, can you share a
(17:40):
little bit about how you felt the stigma or the
way people were treating you. Was it different, did you
notice people treating you any differently? Did it make you mad?
Were you aware? I mean, just kind of give us
an idea of what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Sure, only have a really good support system, and I
feel very, very blessed. I didn't have infighting with family members.
I know there are people in my groups who have
been told that this was your fault. You should have
seen it coming. You know awful things. I think where
our society lacks knowledge, deeply, deeply lacks knowledge is how
(18:19):
to talk to people who have had a loss the
most ridiculous things. I was forty and so I was
often told, oh, you're young, you'll find love again. That's
not the point. I just lost my spouse, my life partner,
the parents of my children. I didn't want to hear that.
They oftentimes would get angry on my behalf and say
(18:40):
things like he took the easy way out. Suicide is
not an easy way out. Addiction is not something easy
to battle, and I never felt that that was an
appropriate thing to say to someone. They would say, you know,
it was a selfish decision on his part. I truly
(19:01):
believe that when someone takes their own life, they're not
intending to die anymore than what their intention is is
to stop the pain that they're in. That has taken
some time and a lot of reading and classes and
things that have helped me better understand suicidality and how
that all happens. But the insensitive things that people say
(19:24):
not at all helpful. And I found that My job
became educating people about how to deal with someone who
has had a loss, more simple losses that you may
have been expected that aren't as complicated. People still say
things like, oh, they're in a better place.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
It doesn't help.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It doesn't help. And I think what our problem is
a society is we don't know how to just sit
with someone in their pain. We try to fix it
or try to say something positive, like the person is
going to then forget that they're going through this.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So let's play armchair psychologists. I know you are one,
but or a psychology psychology lover as a student. So
what do you say when someone says I mean, there's
very simple responses when someone is telling you that they've
lost someone. You want to just kind of jog through
some of those so people get an idea of how
simple it can be to respond to someone who's lost
(20:19):
a loved one.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Sometimes you don't need to say anything at all, just
sit with the person. Sometimes you can say tell me
about your person. Sometimes you can ask what they would like,
and I think that is the most powerful thing. A
lot of times people will say what can I bring you?
How can I help you? What do you need in
that first early couple of months of loss. You don't
(20:43):
know what you need, you don't know what you want,
but just saying what would you like to do right now?
Do you want to talk to me about the person,
would you like me to sit with you, would you
like to go do something to distract you for a
little while. All of those kinds of things are helpful,
and in the moment I think a person can tell
you what they need. I also found it incredibly helpful
(21:07):
as a newly single mom with three little kids when
somebody would call me on their way from to the
grocery store and say, what do you need? Because at
the time, in two thousand and eight, we didn't have
grocery delivery and all the kinds of things that we
have now. It was just really nice for somebody to acknowledge, Hey,
are you out of milk? You need toilet paper? You know?
(21:27):
Can I grab something for you and drop it by?
Those little things just were a tremendous help to me.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So basically, the idea is you don't have to be
a master communicator in order to show some empathy to
your family member, and you don't have to fix their pain.
You can just simply acknowledge I'm so hurting for you
or I wish you weren't going through this right, and
that's whar is with you?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, I'm thinking about you. If they're a person that
you not be religious, would you like me to pray
for you? I always talk about there's this surprise that
happens to people when they lose someone. There are people
that you think are going to be there for you
through thick and thin, people who are good, solid friends
and family members that you expect are going to be
(22:18):
there to listen and talk, and they can't handle it
and they disappear. And that is always an additional layer
of loss that shocks a lot of people. And then
there are those people that come out of the woodwork
that you didn't think you knew that well, that you
didn't expect to be there, and they show up in
ways that just blow your mind. The change in your
friendships and relationships. I know, being part of a couple
(22:41):
and then suddenly not my couple. Friends didn't know what
to do with me anymore. Do you want to come
along or are you going to feel like a fifth wheel?
You know? All of that sort of it changes a
lot of your social dynamic, and so I found that
I had my friends that would ask how are you,
and I could give them the really really And then
(23:01):
there were my friends who would say how are you
that really couldn't handle the answer, and I'd say I'm fine,
or I'd say something a little flip like I'm upright,
you know, I'm vertical today, and that would be that
would be that. But those that second group of people,
the little more surfacy group, they were the people I
went to when I just wanted to go out for
a couple of hours and not talk about it. Can
(23:22):
we go to the movies, Can we go out and
have breakfast, you know, can we go do something? Can
we go for a walk and not get into a
deep conversation. So you have to kind of understand who
your people are and forgive them if they're not who
you think you need.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I want to talk to the people who don't naturally
go towards support groups or reading about these kinds of
issues and gaining access. They're just grieving and they don't
know what is going on. It's really so helpful to
have somebody leading the group that can anticipate how you
(23:59):
may be feeling and can answer those questions before you
get there, or you give them a heads up of
if you find your friend's group is splitting, here's maybe
what's going on, and here's how I handled it, and
give people options, because all that seems to just shut
(24:19):
down when you're in trauma.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
The thing that I say about the groups is sometimes
it's talking about your feelings. Sometimes it's people cry. They
talk about you know, those feelings. I don't know what
to do, I'm feeling guilty. You know. Other parts of
those groups are very practical. I remember having a conversation
before Christmas when my husband died. Do we put up
a stocking for him? How do you guys handle that?
(24:46):
What do we do? How do we talk about holidays
in particular navigating all of that. We're just coming out
of that season. But through November and December, our groups
all talked a lot about your sort of Griever's bill
of rights. What how do you go into the holidays?
You know, we always tell people if you want to
make the plan and you want to go, go, If
(25:06):
you don't, don't and don't feel guilty about it, or
tell people I'm going to show up, but I may leave.
I may leave before you think it's the right time,
have an escape plan, don't ride with somebody where you're
stuck there the whole time. And you know, we talk
about those practical kinds of things. We talk sometimes about
navigating the processes that you have to go through if
(25:28):
you've got in a state for somebody that has to
be closed down, and all the feelings and the hassles
that come with getting their name off of bills and
those kinds of things. How does a parent talk about
and answer the question do you have kids to a
stranger that you're just meeting, Well, you know, if you've
lost a child, do you tell them that? So it's
(25:51):
some of it's very practical and very sort of logistical too,
And I think there's a lot of benefit in that
of that anticipation of what might come up, giving people
heads up in some ways to address it, or when
they come in and say this just happened to me,
Oh oh lord, what do I do? You know? And
other people can kind of and it's not always just
the facilitator. We have people to come back to those
(26:13):
groups long after their loss because they are kind of
giving back. They're finding ways to share what they've learned
and they find that that helps them in their healing
as well. So we've people that come for years. Part
of it's their own healing, and part of it is
having that opportunity to share their experiences with the other
group members that are newer to loss.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Julie, there's two parts of this equation that for success. Basically,
one is you being able to voice what you need
and I'm going to go or I'm not going to go,
or i'm going to this is what I can handle
and this is what I can't. So you've got to
find the strength to do that. And the other one
is if you're not the one who's lost someone, if
you're the one supporting them, it's up to you to
(26:55):
honor their need and don't say all those stupid things
that we just talked about a little while ago. It
is just and you know, it's always out of just
not knowing. So that's why we're here. We're just trying
to make sure people say, don't say they're in a
better place, you know, don't do what they told me
when I was five, God missed your father, so he
(27:17):
took him home because he wasn't feeling well. I said, well,
what about his daughter? His daughter misses her dad. Why
would God's will, you know, supersede this little kid's you know, life.
And so it was and it was not a mean thing.
I mean, that's just what you think is going to
be helpful and it's not.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
So.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
My guest today is Julie Leonard. She is one of
the facilitators of a new overdose grief group through Companions
on a Journey. Thanks for taking the time to do this.
I really enjoyed it. And if somebody wants to get
a hold of Companions on a Journey, how do they
do that?
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Probably best bet is to start with the website. It's
www dot Companions on a Journey dot org. That would
be one way, or they can call the main number
five one three eight, seven zero nine one zero eight.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Julie, thanks so much. Enjoy this kind of mild January
until it comes back winter. So thanks again, take care
one more time. That website is Companions on a Journey
dot org. They've been here in the Tri State for
thirty years or so, helping folks get through the grief
(28:31):
of the loss of loved ones. If you missed any
part of this show, you can hear this show on
the iHeartRadio app. Just look under podcasts and search for
my name, Sandy Collins. It'll pop right up. If you
know of somebody here in the Tri State, a group,
an individual, an answer to a problem that we have
in the Tri State, shoot me an email let me
(28:51):
know about it. The email address is Iheartsincy at iHeartMedia
dot com. Iheartsincy with an eye at the end at
iHeartMedia dot com. I'm Sandy Collins. We'll see you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
iHeart Cincy is a production of iHeartMedia Cincinnati,
This week on iHeart Sinsey.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Where our society lacks knowledge, deeply, deeply lacks knowledge is
how to talk to people who have had a loss.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Today, my guess is Julie Leonard, one of the three
new facilitators of a grief support group in the Try State,
a special group of friends and family who have lost
loved ones through drug overdose. Julie explains her own loss
and why she now helps others make their way through
the very personal grieving process and where you can find
out more about Companions on a Journey, a no cost
(00:33):
grief support system in the Try State. Now on iHeart
Sinsey with Sandy Collins, This is iHeart since I'm Sandy Collins.
You know one thing that we don't talk about enough
in public is grief. So many of us are hurting
from recent deaths, long ago losses, dealing with loved ones
who leave us way too soon. So the nonprofit Companions
(00:55):
on a Journey Grief support Group has been providing in
person grief support for beef children and teens, adults and
families here in Southwest Ohio since nineteen ninety seven. In
twenty twenty four, they helped over one thousand adults and
nearly two thousand children find hope and strength and healing
through the grief process. Now, this began with one woman
(01:16):
who lost her husband and her children's father suddenly through
an illness. The founder of Companions on a Journey couldn't
find the resources that she felt her family needed to
get the support for her two boys, so they lost
their dad at a critical time in their lives when
they were teenagers. So she started Companions on a Journey
to kind of help those who find themselves in a
similar situation. So, through donations, Companions on a Journey pays
(01:38):
facilitators to hold support meetings now in multiple locations across
the tri State to offer a safe place for understanding
where like minded others can offer support to each other
and help. So we're coming up on thirty years, and
over the last three decades, Companions on a Journey's grown
to include special populations, like the young teen men at
(02:01):
Moeller High School. They meet and share their losses of
their parents and their grandparents and friends, and then find
commonality with their fellow students. When someone dies, it's obviously hard,
but the circumstances can make it harder to handle. You know,
we're all preparing to lose our grandparents and our parents
someday to old age. Hopefully we're not prepared often for
(02:25):
a family member or a friend or partner to die
violently or accidentally, or even at their own hand, whether
it was an accident or intentional. So today let me
get to it. Now. We are a learning of a
new group created out of a specific need of losing
someone we love who overdosed. My guest today is one
(02:46):
of the new founders of this support group, Julie Leonard.
She's going to share her story and how tri staters
who find themselves facing this tragedy to find some loving
support from others who share your experience. So, Julie Leonard,
welcome and thanks for taking time today here.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
How are you, Absolutely my pleasure. I'm doing well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
So tell me a bit about your story, how you
came to companions on a journey, and how you came
to running this group. We'll start first with the little
bit about you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Absolutely. So. In two thousand and eight, my husband Steve
took his own life by overdose, and we had at
the time three kids. We have three kids, but they
were at the time nine, six and two, and I
met Sheila because I was a parishioner where she goes
to church at Saint Maximilliam Colby, and she introduced me
(03:43):
to companions on a journey at that point, and my
first experience with kind of being a misfit in a
group was I joined the Widow's Group and it was
me and a bunch of other people who were in
their seventies who had lost partners of fifty plus years.
They were struggling with being alone, cooking for one, all
(04:04):
of those kinds of struggles that one would expect, and
I was struggling with trying to restart my career. I'd
been a stay at home mom trying to figure out
how to manage everything with three little kids, manage their grief.
We had things in common, but so much was just
a misfit, and I ended up being one of the
(04:24):
founding members of the Young Widows Group. I had known
a couple of other people from my career PNG who
had lost spouses, and so we kind of formed that group.
I wasn't ready to go to a suicide lost group
at the time. They had a group I attended once
there were people talking about losing a child, and I
(04:46):
was just so raw. I couldn't I couldn't handle it.
So I stuck with a Young Widow's group through the
early part of my healing and eventually started facilitating co
facilitating in that group. And then Sheila express need for
a facilitator to join the Hope and Healing after a
suicide loss group, and I tried that, and I felt
(05:08):
that I found that I was in a better place
and I was able to handle that topic because it's different,
it's more raw, there's more anger and guilt and struggle
with why. It's a lot easier to wrap your head
around the why of a cancer loss. For example, when
you can see the scans of a tumor, you can
(05:28):
see blood work, you know what's going on. When it's
a symptom of the mind. What that ends up looking
like is behavior and choices. And the thing that took
me such a long time to wrap my personal mind
around is those choices are being made with a mind,
with your brain that is broken, it is damaged, it
(05:50):
is ill. And because of that, the choices that people make,
you struggle so much trying to understand why can't you
just make better choices? And you need to really get
to a place of compassion. There's a lot of additional
layers of emotion that you have to kind of get through,
and then there's all the social stigma that comes with it.
(06:13):
I do know that two of the other folks that
are going to be facilitating really were kind of the
spark and the advocates or creating this overdose loss group
because they had experienced that same kind of loss, and
so they were in an open grief group and those
groups are kind of any type of loss, and they
(06:34):
love their group, but they kept thinking, I want to
talk more about the things that are kind of unique
to this type of loss. I found that to be
really healing and important once I was ready in the
suicide loss group. The widow's group is different too, child
loss groups those folks have. It's a different experience. And
so the beauty of the way COJ does this is
(06:57):
you're in a group of people who not only understand loss,
but they also understand all of the particulars of your
type of loss.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
It really does make a difference when you're all speaking
kind of the same language. You're listening to Julie Leonard,
she is the new facilitator, one of three that's going
to be leading groups of folks who lose their loved
ones through overdose and trying to deal specifically with the
issues that happen when you lose someone like that. I've
(07:28):
told Sheila before and and you know, I lost my
dad when I was five, So you miss them forever.
You miss them through all of the special moments that
you would share with that loved one, high school graduations,
turning sixteen, college marriage, birth of your children. And that
is really tough. But it's different because he died naturally.
(07:50):
I can't imagine how difficult it is when someone is murdered,
or someone takes their own life, or it's an accident.
They just drive away by sweetie, I'll see you later,
and then some clown hits them on the highway and
that's it. So there are different types of loss, and
I love that Companions on a Journey is really focusing
on finding those core groups and serving their needs. Let
(08:12):
me tell you, Companions on a Journey doesn't charge anything.
So let's talk about that just real quick so that
we can get back so people aren't thinking, oh, do
I have to pay for this? You know, how does
this work?
Speaker 2 (08:22):
So you had mentioned the facilitators. There are a few
people on staff that the vast majority of us are volunteer,
so most of the organization runs on volunteers. We're in
I don't even remember the statistic how many schools across
the Cincinnati region.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I think it's at least dozens. I remember that.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
I think it's more like sixty. So it's a lot.
I should I should have had that. It's okay, I apologize,
But there are there are a myriad of adult groups.
There are an awful lot of activities. There's a there's
a Mending Hearts for families and children where the parents
and children come together, or guardians and so those programs
(09:05):
are all run on donations. So there's an annual golf
outing each year and there's a breakfast and between those
two things and just people who do ongoing gifting. That's
that's where all of the funding comes from.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
So you can contact companions on a journey if you want. Today,
they're online and we'll give you more contact information as
well about how to access or at least start that conversation.
Not everybody's ready to jump in, you know, They're like,
I just want to know what am I getting into?
And sometimes, like you said, you're not even ready to
(09:41):
grieve even though you're grieving. How long did it take
you from when you first started into the Elderly Widows
group to moving to the Young Widow's group and then
moving on to addressing the suicide loss. How many years
or months was that.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I have my degrees in psychology, so I immediately wanted help.
Immediately started with an individual therapist. I got my kids
into therapy, and I started us into groups. I know
not everybody does that. Some people start when it's very fresh,
some people it might be years.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
I started with the Widows group fairly quickly, I would say,
probably within the month after my loss, and I probably
attended that two or three times and was in conversation
with Sheila at the same time about this is.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Wonderful and they're lovely, but this isn't quite working for me,
And then she was kind of her wheels returning, and
so that Young Widows group started up fairly quickly. From there,
I went through, you know, attending as a member for
several years and starting to help facilitate, went to facilitator training,
and then became one of the co facilitators of that
(10:53):
Young Widows group again. For I probably did that for
a year or two, so it took some time. I
don't know that if I had been asked earlier that
I would have thought I wasn't ready to join the
suicide loss group. I just think it was sort of
timing when they needed somebody trying.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
To give folks an idea of how long it takes
to actually get through some of these things. Just a
side note, when I was in my twenties, I was
so worried about losing my mother because my dad had
passed when I was a kid, that I wanted to
go to a grief support group before she even died,
because I was terrified of how am I going to function?
(11:32):
And it was through talking to my doctor and explaining
my absolute abject fear where he said, you know, this
is a natural, normal thing that will happen, and you
will have the strength to get through it and you
need to do whatever you need to do, and that
just really helped me. So just reaching out to my
doctor to start with about grief, whether it's before, during,
or after, is a great place to start. And of
(11:54):
course companions on the journey is there as well. We
got a quick reset. We'll be back with more. iHeart Sincy.
Was Julie Leonard talking about the grief support group for
overdose loss at Companions on a Journey that's coming up
on iHeart Cincy. This is fifty five karc an iHeartRadio station.
(12:16):
All right, let's get back to it. This is iHeart Cincy.
I'm your host Sandy Collins. Today we're talking with Julie Leonard.
She is one of the new facilitators of a support
group from Companions on a Journey that is focusing on
the loss from overdose and how to deal with the
myriad of emotions and problems and offers solutions for folks
(12:38):
here in the Tri State who are grieving. Julie got
involved with Companions on a Journey after she suffered a
loss her husband intentionally overdosed and left her with her
two children and a lot of unanswered questions and a
lot of grief. By the way, if you are feeling
that way, if you're feeling like help, called nine eight eight.
(13:02):
That number is nationwide. It'll connect you with local resources,
people who will not judge, people who care, and people
who want to see you get the help that you need.
Because you don't want to make a permanent decision based
on a temporary problem. So let's talk about the overdose
support group that's here. Where are they going to be
(13:24):
meeting and can you give an idea of like, you
know what, when and how that works.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
So that meeting is going to be held at spring
Grove Funeral Home on spring Grove Avenue. They have a
really lovely meeting space there. It's going to meet the
fourth Tuesday of every month, and so we typically try
to stick to that day. Occasionally, if there's a holiday
or something that falls on that date, it might move.
(13:50):
I don't know how vulnerable the fourth Tuesday is to that.
It doesn't happen very often. In the Suicide Lost group,
we meet the first Tuesday of the month and that
will be help from six to seven thirty pm. And
each of those groups typically has a topic, there's an
activity that goes with it. You get some materials to
take home with you, some things to think about. The
(14:12):
Really my experience with these groups has been that there's
kind of instant connection and camaraderie between people. Some people
arrive and they're really worried. It's hard to get out
of the car, it's hard to get in there, and
they think they're going to be expected to do a
bunch of talking. All you really have to say is
(14:33):
your first name and who you're there to remember. And
if that's all you can get out for a while,
that's okay. You're still going to take something away from
the other things that people are saying. And I really
do find that over time people are able to share more.
It is a place that some people will kind of
reserve to go cry. Those tiers are in a safe space. Men, women,
(14:57):
people of all ages. The connection that you find there
in the shared experiences is really truly powerful. And I
know that for overdose it's very similar to suicide loss
in that the person is making choices that are driven
by addiction. That addictive brain is very different than a
(15:18):
healthy brain in the same way that a suicidal brain
is very different. And there's all of the things that
lead up to that overdose loss. Oftentimes, there are people
who have been stealing from their family members, They've been lying,
they you know's, they may have been in and out
of rehab, they may have lost jobs. Sometimes they may
have had run ins with the law, and there's guilt
(15:40):
and shame and anger and all these past terrible things
that have been said to them. All of that adds
these layers to the loss, to the grief, and so
I think the opportunity for people to really talk about
that experience is going to be really important.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Part of what you're assuming is that it's an intentional overdose,
I'm also thinking, yeah, I'm also thinking of people that
just accidentally here, you know, I don't feel well, I've
got a pill and yeah, take this, my doctor gives
it to me. It's it's fake, and you're spentanyl and
you're gone. So exactly, there is a different need there too.
There's a whole subset of people who just die accidentally
(16:20):
through overdose, but you're welcoming them to this group as well.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
There are going to be people who maybe you know,
maybe they have a child or a family member who
goes to a party, or they accept a med from
somebody that they think is supposed to help them with
the headache that they have and it's laced with something
and they didn't know. Those kind of accidents happen far
more often than we realize, and it can be very
(16:46):
sudden and out of nowhere, and it can be a
person that had no history whatsoever. So there are going
to be some differences in those experiences. You make a
great point.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
I'm speaking with Julie Leonard, and she is one of
the facilitators of a new group being formed by companions
on a journey for if people who've lost their loved ones,
their friends, their family, their neighbors through overdose, and the
difference in losing someone in that manner versus a car
accident or the worst murder, somebody gets killed, people that
(17:20):
lose their children through the gunfire. That's here in Cincinnati.
There's so much grief in this town, and we're trying
to acknowledge that and offer support for folks that find
themselves in those situations and know that you're not alone. Julie,
after your husband took his life, can you share a
(17:40):
little bit about how you felt the stigma or the
way people were treating you. Was it different, did you
notice people treating you any differently? Did it make you mad?
Were you aware? I mean, just kind of give us
an idea of what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Sure, only have a really good support system, and I
feel very, very blessed. I didn't have infighting with family members.
I know there are people in my groups who have
been told that this was your fault. You should have
seen it coming. You know awful things. I think where
our society lacks knowledge, deeply, deeply lacks knowledge is how
(18:19):
to talk to people who have had a loss the
most ridiculous things. I was forty and so I was
often told, oh, you're young, you'll find love again. That's
not the point. I just lost my spouse, my life partner,
the parents of my children. I didn't want to hear that.
They oftentimes would get angry on my behalf and say
(18:40):
things like he took the easy way out. Suicide is
not an easy way out. Addiction is not something easy
to battle, and I never felt that that was an
appropriate thing to say to someone. They would say, you know,
it was a selfish decision on his part. I truly
(19:01):
believe that when someone takes their own life, they're not
intending to die anymore than what their intention is is
to stop the pain that they're in. That has taken
some time and a lot of reading and classes and
things that have helped me better understand suicidality and how
that all happens. But the insensitive things that people say
(19:24):
not at all helpful. And I found that My job
became educating people about how to deal with someone who
has had a loss, more simple losses that you may
have been expected that aren't as complicated. People still say
things like, oh, they're in a better place.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
It doesn't help.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It doesn't help. And I think what our problem is
a society is we don't know how to just sit
with someone in their pain. We try to fix it
or try to say something positive, like the person is
going to then forget that they're going through this.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So let's play armchair psychologists. I know you are one,
but or a psychology psychology lover as a student. So
what do you say when someone says I mean, there's
very simple responses when someone is telling you that they've
lost someone. You want to just kind of jog through
some of those so people get an idea of how
simple it can be to respond to someone who's lost
(20:19):
a loved one.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Sometimes you don't need to say anything at all, just
sit with the person. Sometimes you can say tell me
about your person. Sometimes you can ask what they would like,
and I think that is the most powerful thing. A
lot of times people will say what can I bring you?
How can I help you? What do you need in
that first early couple of months of loss. You don't
(20:43):
know what you need, you don't know what you want,
but just saying what would you like to do right now?
Do you want to talk to me about the person,
would you like me to sit with you, would you
like to go do something to distract you for a
little while. All of those kinds of things are helpful,
and in the moment I think a person can tell
you what they need. I also found it incredibly helpful
(21:07):
as a newly single mom with three little kids when
somebody would call me on their way from to the
grocery store and say, what do you need? Because at
the time, in two thousand and eight, we didn't have
grocery delivery and all the kinds of things that we
have now. It was just really nice for somebody to acknowledge, Hey,
are you out of milk? You need toilet paper? You know?
(21:27):
Can I grab something for you and drop it by?
Those little things just were a tremendous help to me.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
So basically, the idea is you don't have to be
a master communicator in order to show some empathy to
your family member, and you don't have to fix their pain.
You can just simply acknowledge I'm so hurting for you
or I wish you weren't going through this right, and
that's whar is with you?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, I'm thinking about you. If they're a person that
you not be religious, would you like me to pray
for you? I always talk about there's this surprise that
happens to people when they lose someone. There are people
that you think are going to be there for you
through thick and thin, people who are good, solid friends
and family members that you expect are going to be
(22:18):
there to listen and talk, and they can't handle it
and they disappear. And that is always an additional layer
of loss that shocks a lot of people. And then
there are those people that come out of the woodwork
that you didn't think you knew that well, that you
didn't expect to be there, and they show up in
ways that just blow your mind. The change in your
friendships and relationships. I know, being part of a couple
(22:41):
and then suddenly not my couple. Friends didn't know what
to do with me anymore. Do you want to come
along or are you going to feel like a fifth wheel?
You know? All of that sort of it changes a
lot of your social dynamic, and so I found that
I had my friends that would ask how are you,
and I could give them the really really And then
(23:01):
there were my friends who would say how are you
that really couldn't handle the answer, and I'd say I'm fine,
or I'd say something a little flip like I'm upright,
you know, I'm vertical today, and that would be that
would be that. But those that second group of people,
the little more surfacy group, they were the people I
went to when I just wanted to go out for
a couple of hours and not talk about it. Can
(23:22):
we go to the movies, Can we go out and
have breakfast, you know, can we go do something? Can
we go for a walk and not get into a
deep conversation. So you have to kind of understand who
your people are and forgive them if they're not who
you think you need.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I want to talk to the people who don't naturally
go towards support groups or reading about these kinds of
issues and gaining access. They're just grieving and they don't
know what is going on. It's really so helpful to
have somebody leading the group that can anticipate how you
(23:59):
may be feeling and can answer those questions before you
get there, or you give them a heads up of
if you find your friend's group is splitting, here's maybe
what's going on, and here's how I handled it, and
give people options, because all that seems to just shut
(24:19):
down when you're in trauma.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
The thing that I say about the groups is sometimes
it's talking about your feelings. Sometimes it's people cry. They
talk about you know, those feelings. I don't know what
to do, I'm feeling guilty. You know. Other parts of
those groups are very practical. I remember having a conversation
before Christmas when my husband died. Do we put up
a stocking for him? How do you guys handle that?
(24:46):
What do we do? How do we talk about holidays
in particular navigating all of that. We're just coming out
of that season. But through November and December, our groups
all talked a lot about your sort of Griever's bill
of rights. What how do you go into the holidays?
You know, we always tell people if you want to
make the plan and you want to go, go, If
(25:06):
you don't, don't and don't feel guilty about it, or
tell people I'm going to show up, but I may leave.
I may leave before you think it's the right time,
have an escape plan, don't ride with somebody where you're
stuck there the whole time. And you know, we talk
about those practical kinds of things. We talk sometimes about
navigating the processes that you have to go through if
(25:28):
you've got in a state for somebody that has to
be closed down, and all the feelings and the hassles
that come with getting their name off of bills and
those kinds of things. How does a parent talk about
and answer the question do you have kids to a
stranger that you're just meeting, Well, you know, if you've
lost a child, do you tell them that? So it's
(25:51):
some of it's very practical and very sort of logistical too,
And I think there's a lot of benefit in that
of that anticipation of what might come up, giving people
heads up in some ways to address it, or when
they come in and say this just happened to me,
Oh oh lord, what do I do? You know? And
other people can kind of and it's not always just
the facilitator. We have people to come back to those
(26:13):
groups long after their loss because they are kind of
giving back. They're finding ways to share what they've learned
and they find that that helps them in their healing
as well. So we've people that come for years. Part
of it's their own healing, and part of it is
having that opportunity to share their experiences with the other
group members that are newer to loss.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Julie, there's two parts of this equation that for success. Basically,
one is you being able to voice what you need
and I'm going to go or I'm not going to go,
or i'm going to this is what I can handle
and this is what I can't. So you've got to
find the strength to do that. And the other one
is if you're not the one who's lost someone, if
you're the one supporting them, it's up to you to
(26:55):
honor their need and don't say all those stupid things
that we just talked about a little while ago. It
is just and you know, it's always out of just
not knowing. So that's why we're here. We're just trying
to make sure people say, don't say they're in a
better place, you know, don't do what they told me
when I was five, God missed your father, so he
(27:17):
took him home because he wasn't feeling well. I said, well,
what about his daughter? His daughter misses her dad. Why
would God's will, you know, supersede this little kid's you know, life.
And so it was and it was not a mean thing.
I mean, that's just what you think is going to
be helpful and it's not.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
So.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
My guest today is Julie Leonard. She is one of
the facilitators of a new overdose grief group through Companions
on a Journey. Thanks for taking the time to do this.
I really enjoyed it. And if somebody wants to get
a hold of Companions on a Journey, how do they
do that?
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Probably best bet is to start with the website. It's
www dot Companions on a Journey dot org. That would
be one way, or they can call the main number
five one three eight, seven zero nine one zero eight.
Speaker 1 (28:10):
Julie, thanks so much. Enjoy this kind of mild January
until it comes back winter. So thanks again, take care
one more time. That website is Companions on a Journey
dot org. They've been here in the Tri State for
thirty years or so, helping folks get through the grief
(28:31):
of the loss of loved ones. If you missed any
part of this show, you can hear this show on
the iHeartRadio app. Just look under podcasts and search for
my name, Sandy Collins. It'll pop right up. If you
know of somebody here in the Tri State, a group,
an individual, an answer to a problem that we have
in the Tri State, shoot me an email let me
(28:51):
know about it. The email address is Iheartsincy at iHeartMedia
dot com. Iheartsincy with an eye at the end at
iHeartMedia dot com. I'm Sandy Collins. We'll see you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
iHeart Cincy is a production of iHeartMedia Cincinnati,
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Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com