BOOBOO THE FOOL

Happy Valentine's Day! Since love is in the air, let's talk SIDE CHICKS. In this episode KT and Kayla talk about the pettiest reasons they wouldn't date someone, how to navigate frienships where a friend's behavior goes against your morals, and messing around with someone who is in a relationship. The ladies also discuss a recent topic that KT did on air asking women who are proud side chicks if they feel like they deserve a gift on Valentine's Day. Enjoy!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Good Petty Ish Podcast. Welcome backto another episode of Petty Ish. I'm
Kayla. I'm Kayla Kat. Youknow, Kayla. That's good what you
do. Well, how are youfeeling. There's your cough going cuz?

(00:22):
No, yes, sexy, soundlike a chain smoke girl. Okay,
So I'm so sorry that you'll haveto listen to this, but I got
a chest X ray. Well.Remember when I get sick, I beget
I get sicked for long periods oftime because of my autoimmune disease. But
I've been taking such good care ofmyself recently, so I haven't been getting

(00:44):
sick often, but when I do, I have to prepare myself for it
to be like this ten years long. Yeah, So it's not like I
feel physically sick. It's just thiscough I had to get a chest X
try to roll out. Pneumonia andbronchitis both rolled out, so they can't
give me antibiotics. So basically,I just have to ride this wave.
But I'm not the only one.This has happened to my cousin. Her
cough lasted for like a month anda half. I know some people here

(01:07):
we're talking about how they've been sickfor like two months, So it's something
in the air where it's lingering foreverybody, not just me. No,
that does happen. Whenever I geta cough. It doesn't just go right
away. I'm like, yeah,but you're on no freaking radio podcast and
he had to talk and he's timeto be patty and your coughs. Yeah,

(01:29):
what you're doing. I feel likewe voth for a petty. We
fired somebody whoa we were going tobut he quit first. You're right,
And that's what I like, eventhough we all signed a contract, is
that like, no one void technicallythat's why. Like, but technically since
he signed the contract, we couldsue, because girl, we were gonna

(01:51):
fight him anyway, you right.Basically, we hired an editor for our
social media clips because up until thispoint, I've been doing it but it's
just so time consuming and it's alot, and it's a lot, it's
hard work. So we're like,you know what, let's put it in
the budget to hire somebody to dothree clips for us a week, just
to put on our socials because wheneverwe post on at least TikTok, it'd

(02:13):
be going up, you know,and it's helping our streams and stuff.
So we were like, we needsomebody to help us do this. So
we advertised for somebody to help usand got a lot of inquiries. But
somebody from my past that I wentto college with. He was like,
you know, hey, Kayla,like I would love to do this for
you. I'm trying to get myfoot in the door. And we were

(02:35):
trying to go with the lowest budgetperson because you know, Petty is is
still brand new. You get whatyou paid for. He was quite affordable,
very affordable. Yeah, so wewent with him. We did a
trial run and it was fine.His first week was the week of Tory
Heart. Maybe not the week tothrow them into the wolves like that,

(02:55):
but I guess the content wasn't upto our standards and it wasn't it just
I didn't like it. I justwasn't. Yeah, I think that.
You know, we've been doing pettishfor a while, but when we had
something that could have been as bigas what Tory Hart was, I saw
worker Kayla come out and it wasn'tplaytime. It was like, this isn't
good enough. This is what Idon't like. This is what I don't

(03:17):
like. And I'm like, Kayla, let's try a compliment sandwich. This
is what I like. This iswhat I don't like, this is what
I like. Was that being mean? You just started off with fuck your
mom? And no that was anexaggeration, but it was like, yeah,
no, this isn't good. Thisis why it's not good. I

(03:37):
gave you clear directions. Here's myemail again. If you're not understanding,
please let me know. But thisis what I need changed listen. And
you're not wrong for that. Iam a very very nice person, I
agree, but when it comes tomy career, in my in my brand,
like you got to get this shipright, you know what I mean?
And I hold myself to a certainstandards of the people that I have

(03:59):
around me, like I hold themto a certain standard if you want to
work with me. I agree,I agree. So I could have came
off nicer, but I think itwas. I think it was like the
time crunch, like with Tory Hartwas our biggest breakthrough thing, and I
was just like no, like Iasked you to do this, this and
this, you and if you didn'tfollow clear instructions and what do we?

(04:21):
What do we? And I kindof message and I'm like, hey,
friend, just so you know,I really do enjoy this. That and
the third of no, we don'tgot time for that. I said,
it was clear as day in theemail. Why am I not receiving what
I asked for? So after that, like he just quit. Yeah,
but it was fine because we weregonna part ways anyway. But we had

(04:42):
a group chat that I named Pettyishthe Pettish Crew or something with like all
these movie you said, yeah,something like that. And as soon as
he quit, I changed the nameliterally, and then if I could have
left the group chat, I would, but you can only leave after four
people. That girl Patty, Thatwas Patty. So the Tory Heart video

(05:03):
and my Lox video is still verymuch going up on Instagram and TikTok where
we get new comments. Oh yeah, we do every so often. Yeah,
and yeah, I go back you. You commented six weeks ago or
six days ago about you know whatdid they say, Oh, I must
be on food stamps. I'm payingall that in my hair, but I'm

(05:24):
still on food stamps, which isvery racist. Would you up said that
if I was a white woman saidI spent that much on my hair?
I doubt it and then people like, yeah, you got jipped, you
are a lick they saw all walkin just all these yeah, And I
just been clapping back at people likeliterally three weeks l oh yeah, I
get the notifications on my phone everytime because what they're not going to do,
Kayla? It's playing in my face. I think pieces, like think

(05:48):
pieces on social media behind it likea screen. Would you ever say that
to Kayla's face? And then ontop of that, I just don't understand
how you draw these entire conclusions untilthese entire stories when you don't know me,
and it's they don't know that clip, they don't know your situation.
They don't know how much money youmake, so how much I saved or

(06:09):
how long I saved? And wedo live in LA. I don't know
why it's so hard to comprehend that, Like where you live is according the
prices recording where you live? Yeah, and they're like, oh, she
look at you saying you live inLA trying to brag and then you bragging
about getting licked or taking advantage ofit hurts. I feel it like your

(06:31):
throat is going through it. You'reall bright red, your face is super
Can you hail me, take thewheel. But yeah, they're like,
yeah, yeah, you're saying youlive in LA and you're bragging, but
you're gonna take an advantage of it. I'm like, I didn't know sand
I lived. You knowl A wasbragging right, Like, I just that's

(06:54):
that's just where I live. Comeon, now, I wish I could
pay the prices you pay, likeI just so, yeah, that's that's
my petty things. People are bold, ridiculous, ridiculous petty things our listeners
did. I heard of a guywho wants booked every other seat in the
movie theater to split up couples onValentine's Day? Stop it, where's this
guy? How much money you got, right, and why are you spending

(07:16):
it on doing that? You gottoo much time on your hands, and
you got too much money to besingle. Something must be up with you.
And you also are very bitter,very bitter, like let people be
happy? Why don't you want anybodyhappy? It reminds me of that meme
where you see that guy just sittingbehind the couple with his shoe like he's
about to throw it at them.He's like, my plans for Valentine's Day
that's the meme, and I'm like, yeah, that's that. That's that.

(07:39):
I will be healed one day.One day, someone said my ex
cheated on me for the third time, and instead of crying and taking him
back like I always do, Idecided to get my lick back. He
face timed me one night and Ianswered while in the middle of having sex
with my ex. So he sawsex with wow from behind? Wow,

(08:03):
I screen recorded, you want toput you on Twitter, savage, But
yeah, that's hurtful. God.So yeah, Valentine's Day bringing out the
ugly people is tomorrow. Yeah youfeeling I feel like I haven't even really
had time to think about it becauseI'm busy and I just have plans and

(08:24):
things to do that aren't romantic.But I'm busy. What about you?
I mean, you got a gift? Oh yeah, I bought my Valentine's
Day Keep cool, Keep it cool. Have you that appreciate it? This
is like the nicest gift that I'vegotten in four years on Valentine's Day.
That was I just came from acomedy show and they were just giving those

(08:46):
out and I had to again,this is the nicest gift I've gotten in
four years. On Valentine's Day.You know what I'm going to I know
where you're going with this. I'mhappy you're single. I'm happy I'm single
too. I'm gonna do buy myselfflower seriously though, because honestly, like,

(09:11):
I ain't gonna even get into that. But I haven't had a good
Valentine's Day. I don't even rememberthe last memorable Valentine's Day. So I'm
on this self love journey. Yeah, and I just said, I'm gonna
take myself on a massage maybe tomorrow, give myself massage. Go to say
with the massage, I'll tell youthat's all. And then I also my
favorite restaurant is Olive Garden. Everyoneis that. I think I'm gonna treat

(09:33):
myself to Olive Garden, so Irefuse to be sad. Tomorrow is just
another day, and instead of spendingit with somebody else, I'm gonna spend
it with myself. That is amazing. You can also pull up I'll be
working at a single sore at tooAmaze and it will be from I'll be
working from nine pm to two am. Wait, so what is this?
What do you do with this war? Right? Eat drink and ling.

(09:56):
Yeah, I'm sure it's just gonnabe a bunch of singles who don't have
plans on Valentine's Day and and Iwill be working so feeding and giving people
drinks and making as much money asI can make. And I'd love for
you if you have the time tocome in, bring whoever you want to
bring. And yeah, we'll seeif the five guys are out in Englewood.
Okay, I mean I get offof work, you know, hella
late, but I know I mightpull out. That sounds like a lot
of fun. Yeah. Yeah.Other than that, how was your week

(10:20):
or this Valentine's Day? Fuddyduddy stuff? It was a good chill week.
I mean, I've just been dealingwith this cough, but I've still been
pushing through despite all that. Ithink the only memorable thing that happened this
week was the super Bowl party meand my friends through a Taylor Swift theme.
It looks so cute party because welove Taylor around here, so we're

(10:41):
hearing for the Chiefs and it wasfun. We all like dressed up in
Taylor Swift gear. So I hadmy like nineteen eighty nine hat. Joy
came like her sparkly, you know, co and we had t shirts that
said go Taylor's boyfriend, and itwas a lot of fun. We made
food. I made buffalo chicken dip, had wings and it was it was
a fun time. That sounds thatsounds like a lot of fun. I

(11:03):
was working, but I did walkaway to see Usher's performance, and I
thought it was one of the bestin Super Bowl history. Really, I
did. It hit me in suchthe nostalgias. I thought the energy was
just top notch. I loved AliciaKeys, little John Ludacris, uh se
Lo. I mean, oh mygod, it was not but people did.

(11:28):
People didn't think he was like,you know, you know, the
little piece he was giving it,giving that with the socks. I was
like, is that Kanye And butthey were loving ton socks. So I
could look stupid as long as thelouver because I paid how much of them
dumb ass socks. So first ofall, it was it was a very
good performance. Though. Did yousee mister still your girl grabbing all up

(11:52):
on Alicia? Oh my gosh,yes, but that's Usher. Though everybody
was around me play, everybody waslike, oh that's inappropriate, Like that's
somebody's wife, and you know,Usher just got married like the day of
the Super Bowl too. But likeit's all a performance thing, you know,
that's what he does. He didit all during his residency, like

(12:13):
that's a part of his character.It's just come on now, it's not
that big of a deal. Idon't think. Yeah, and I think
that people who are performers get it. And that's why Swiss Beats literally spoke
out in support of Yeah, whatUsher and Alicia Keys was doing. He
pretty much said, let me getmy thang. He said, y'all talking

(12:33):
about the wrong damn thing. Y'alldon't see that amazing dress covering and the
entire the amazing dress covering the entirestadium. Tonight's performance was nothing but amazing
with two giants. Congratulations Usher andmy leave my love Alicia Keys. That
song is a classic, and wedon't need those negative vibes on this side.
We make a history. But yeah, y'all not gonna Kickie Palmer,

(12:56):
Alicia Keys and Swiss Beats. Yeah, that's what we're not about to do.
I thought the whole thing was great. I thought it was phenomenal.
I did think it was a littlechaotic, with the I think just coming
from Rihanna and how uniformed it waslast year, and it was just like
when I when it was just alot of different costumes and there's a lot
of people in the field too.It just it was a lot going on.

(13:16):
It was given Vegas because it waslively like Vegas, and honestly,
I thought, you know, Rihannawas pregnant, so she you know,
you can only do so much whyyou're pregnant, and she has a great
you know, discography and great songs. But the performance for me, you
know, I like to see theextornists. I like to see the over
the top and if your body cando it, yes, I should take

(13:37):
that shot off. I mean honestly, because I prefer Rihanna's halftime over ushers,
and I completely prefer the opposite.So yeah, to each his own.
But I did think it was pettyof the Internet to try to,
you know, tear apart Swiss Beatsand only Keys and say that they're you
know whatever. And I'm sure alot of people couldn't date a famous person

(13:58):
like Glicia Keys or an Usher becausethey can't see their partner up there doing
that. So what's the pettiest reasonthat you would not date someone, pettiest
reason that I would not date someone. Let's see, I know that I
am five one, but I'm notgonna date somebody who's like five five.

(14:22):
Oh they got four inches on youand you're still not doing it. No,
Okay, okay, maybe like maybeI just haven't come across the one.
But I'm so attracted to that,Like, and all I've ever did
was like he's football basketball. That'sprobably why I'm always getting jeeted on.
But like these athletes like the sixfoot you know, like I had the

(14:43):
type, so I've never steered outsideof that type. So maybe that's my
problem and maybe I need to switchit up. But the pettiest reason is
probably like the height or if something'slike a little off with your tee.
Wow, you're a teethy girl.I didn't know you were a tee girl.
Like the mouth and the smile likemakes so much right, right,

(15:03):
yeah, and so, and it'slittle things bother me, like if you
have sandwich teeth you always have,like you know when people have like build
up the sandwich, I call itsandwich teeth, Like you made that up.
That's not a thing. But allright, all right, you got
sandwich teeth. Don't be smiling inKayles's face because she's like, get that
cried out your your sandwich teeth.I would say, I definitely hmmm if

(15:33):
all you want to talk about islike pop culture like Taylor Swift and Beyonce,
and I just feel like I don'tI don't like you. And then
also if you don't tip the servingstaff, I will not call you again.
If you order something that has salmonand you say I want to Solomon,

(15:54):
I'm disgusted. I hate that somuch. Like literally I went on
a date with a guy who ordereda salmon and didn't tip, and it
was the worst nightmare come to cometo Like, I was like, fuck
that. Uh some of the thingsI saw on the internet, And I
want to know what you agree withand what you don't agree with. Okay,
he dressed too loud? What doesthat mean? Like two bright colors?

(16:15):
Two bright colors, like two attentiongrabby outfits like look at me,
look at me. My outfit screamslook at me. I agree, okay,
like like the green pants with theorange shirt and then like the the
fordo hat. What is it gonnafor? Daro hat. Oh my god,

(16:38):
is fda fad door fedora? Wow? Embarrassing? So like that kind
of thing is just like No,I think I I'm a simple The thing
is I like to dress too,but like too much, like that is
just too I don't know. Youlike subtle, subtle sneak up and I

(17:00):
also like somebody who like clashes wellwith me or goes well with me.
So you only go orange type greenpants? No, what about you?
You like that? It depends yeah, because if you get like if you
if you walk in with that loudoutfit and then you also got the confidence
and the outpha energy about you andyou just dominate the room that you own.

(17:21):
I like that, Okay, Ido. His butt was bigger than
mine. That was my ex andmy all three of my last exes butts
were bigger than mine. I wasn'texpecting that response. Kala was badass.

(17:42):
I like butts, me too,I like boy butts. I like butts,
so I don't mind big butts either. That's not a dope. I
mean, it can't look like aBBL No, it can't look too like
round and fluffy like, so youdon't have don't have big hips so black
school, but don't have the hipsto go, and I don't want you
actively like working on the butt justso like you can so it can get

(18:04):
big, like it just needs tobe you know what I mean, Because
that's a little sus And I dofeel like if it's too too big,
it comes off smelly looking. AndI don't like a smelly looking But what
do you mean it? Because I'llyou just got mad ass and you're a
grown big man and you're just bigin the ass, Like do you wipe
that shit? You can't, it'stoo much ass, and you don't shower

(18:26):
after you shit, And I justfeel like it smells funny. I never
smelled the big, nasty smelling butt. But it's just the bibs and I
guess jiggles while you walk like morethan mine. Oh you got the girl?
Yeah, I might slap it acouple of times, did I'm not
here? Oh this one I agreewith a thousand percent. He doesn't believe
in God absolute Oh my gosh,story time. Yeah, you know,

(18:48):
I'm a TikToker now, so Iknow exactly what that means. So I
dated So I used to go toa Christian university, right, So we
all were. It was drilled intoour minds the whole Jesus thing. And
I am a Christian myself, butI dated somebody who we went to the
same university. But over time,this like the way that they presented God

(19:08):
to us and made it seem likethey mixed politics and God a lot at
that school. Religious people and Christianityand God are just different things. So
it turned him away from God.And I tried my hardest to, you
know, get him to see adifferent perspective, like your relationship can look
different than the than our parents relationshipwith God. But he just became basically

(19:30):
this atheist right now, to thepoint where he doesn't even believe in Jesus
and God. And he's always obviouslywe don't even speak anymore, but he's
always going on these rants on socialmedia about his ideology and how does all
this crazy stuff about God isn't real, and like pushing it on other people.
And that's my problem, Like,believe what you believe, don't believe

(19:52):
what you don't want to believe,but don't try to force that on other
people. Because that's what our schooldid to us. They tried to get
us to think one way and wehated that. And now look at you.
You're on the opposite side of thisspectrum, and you're trying to get
all of us to not believe inGod. I think that a thousand percent
happens way too much where religious peopleor people who man manipulate religion and try

(20:15):
to damn everybody to hell and sayyou have to follow these strict rules or
else you're not a good person.That I feel like nine times out of
ten, it turns a lot ofpeople off to God and they blame God
for these faulty people and their rules. I do think that people who don't
believe in God typically have a faultymoral compass. My ex definitely identified as

(20:38):
an atheist, and he had hismoral compass was just questionable. The things
that you did, the unapologetically,the stealing, the lying, the manipulating,
and it's just you don't have anyguilt because you don'teel like you have
to answer to anything or anyone.At the end of the day, I
just equally yoked, bro equally yoked. If you'lieve in God, I can't.

(20:59):
I just can't. I don't knowhow anybody could go about this life
not believing in a higher power,Like where do you put all your trust
in? Who do you talk towhen you're just by yourself? You know
what I mean? How does itthe adversity of this world and not eat
you up and spit you out?If you have no hope, if you
have nothing to believe in, nothingthat's holding you together? You know what
I mean? Even if you're believingin Buddha or whatever religion. It is

(21:21):
like, I feel like everybody needssomething to get them to keep going.
And it does show that even ifyou aren't religion, if if you follow
like those religious beliefs or have thosevalues, you typically are healthier and happier.
That's true. Deep stuff. Hedoesn't or they don't drink water?
Who doesn't drink water? Bro?Is that a petty thing that you won't
date somebody for? Absolutely? Thatmeans your breastink, That means your skin

(21:41):
is not clear, you taste SALTYAyeah, your fluids aren't. I've never
met anybody who actively said I don'tdrink water. I've met plenty of people,
at least in my younger years,like I don't drink water. What
is their reason? It's nasty?They don't like the taste of it.
It don't even tastes like nothing.That's what people say. Some people who
taste it don't like it. Itmakes you feel better. What do you
drink when you're hungover? What doyou drink like when you're hot? Yeah,

(22:04):
i'd bet when you have a headache. I don't know if y'all ever
woke up in the middle of thenight and just had the bottle next to
you and just drank that. Thatis there. There's very little more satisfying.
It's quite orgasmic. I think clearlythey didn't have black parents because that
was the cure for everything. Youhave a headache, Drink water. You
got a cold, Drink water,you're thrown up, Drink water. Stuff

(22:25):
your toe, drink water a dealbreaker. They smoked cigarettes. I don't
like that. No, yeah,I'm not. I it doesn't even get
you high. What's the reason youjust smell? And no? No,
I don't Okay, yeah, no, all right, let us know the
pettiest reasons you won't date. Somebodyhit us up at the Pettish Podcast and

(22:48):
add to the list. Yes,but I want to know. Now.
We made our mistakes, k We'vewe've shared our stories about how we have
been the other chick and we feltbad for I will well, I was
not. I did not know.Oh, you didn't know. I didn't
know I was the side chick.Oh I know, wait did I know
this? I think we talked.We've been doing pattistra how long now?

(23:11):
Girl? You know I can't evenremember when I have a breakfast. Girl,
I didn't know that I was theside chick. This was back in
college and I ended up meeting upwith all the other girls and like that
was the thing. But I neverI would never actively be with somebody knowing
that. Never ever. Well,I definitely made my mistakes in the past.
And it was when I was goingthrough my own situation with my with

(23:34):
my ex and breaking up with himand being cheated on left and right,
right and left, left and right, right and left, and it was
just like, you know, ifthis is what it is, I don't
want you want a revenge tour?Not necessary? I would say, it
was more just yeah, I justI didn't care. And if this is
what relationships are and everybody's out heredoing it, I'd rather be on that
side of the relationship than the girlgetting cheated on left and right. And

(23:55):
again it wasn't right. It wastotally disgusting, But it was a guy
I work with and I had acrush on him for the longest time,
Like I was in the relationship.He was my work husband. I just
love seeing him at work. Andthen when I did get single, I
made my move, but I didn'tknow they had a relationship. I had
a girlfriend at the time when Imade my move, or when I grew
my feelings. But when I foundout, I didn't stop until I felt

(24:18):
bad and I was like, yo, this is like real fucked up,
Like I don't feel good about this. I think they lived together and it
was like a real situation and Ifelt awful about it, and it's still
something I feel awful about to thisday. He tries to think, I
don't know if they're together. Idon't know what the update is. But
if he's like, oh, i'llbe in LA I want to link up,
I'm like, yeah, you justbring back really really embarrassing bad feelings
for me. I'd never been proudof it. I've been one. I've

(24:41):
never been proud of it. Thesechicks are too proud. Have you heard
the latest? I'm fucking I don'tknow what. God, So I've seen
this trend and I see girls standingnext to them man pointing at him and

(25:02):
you know, I guess laughing atthe other girl that's fucking him too,
But like, what's up with yourpH balance? How are you proud of
this? How is this a thing? I've seen this trend like really take
off. So it's funny because EJand I were actually just doing a topic
on the radio earlier today. Wewere talking about side chicks and Valentine's Day
and we were asking people, asa side chick, please call us up

(25:26):
and tell us if you think thatyou deserve a gift on Valentine's Day.
And I was saying, like,if you really feel that you needed,
you deserve a gift, at leastwait till the day after, wait till
the fifteenth. Well, this isone of the calls that we got.
Absolutely, I've been known your joball year long. Of course I deserve
everything once more on the day,Lafe, you say everything? Please?

(25:48):
I would you need different from thered Why do you feel like you deserve
more than the main check? Imean because he's coming up here with me,
because she not doing what she's supposedto do. So, you know,
I think that should be rewarded.Somebody needs more than a ghost star.
Wow, listen to this other one. I think this is absolutely we
need our day, We need ourmoney because they got to pay extra because

(26:12):
they're already gonna be leaving us onValentine's Day. They can't leave us high
and dry. I want to emptythe pocket. The only reason I'm asking
because earlier today this lady was like, she's a side chick. I'm proud
to be a side check. Andwe know our day is not Valentine's Day,
but you need to give us somethingon the thirteenth or the fifteenth,
exactly, preferably the thirteenth. Don'tcome at me at the end. No,

(26:32):
I don't want that. I mean, but you know you can't be
with the person on the fourteenth,So I don't get it. But I
expect to have priority over Valentine's Day. So tell me that I'm special.
You will be coming to me first, then her after, so I could
be like I got them first.Isn't it crazy that people actually have this
mindset, that people actually feel soentitled that as their and their role as

(26:55):
a side chick, that they thinkthat they deserve priority over main chick.
Is disheartening. It makes me likeso happy that I'm single sometimes, Like
I'd rather be single every day ofthe of the year than do that and
think that that's what I need todeal with in order to be with somebody.
Yeah, you don't realize that.You need to realize that you're a

(27:18):
priority and he needs to treat you. He's fucking somebody else and you're okay
with that. My question for thesewomen were do you not feel bad that
you are literally breaking another woman's heart? Are you not a girl's girl?
Do you not care? Listen towhat this other person said? Hi,
I was calling about your comment aboutif a side chick should expect something,

(27:40):
and yeah, of course, areyou a side chick? I am?
So how do you feel that you'rethe side chick? I don't feel anything,
really. I mean today we wentout and I actually laughed. I
was like, yeah, side chick, take today, and I'm the fifteenth,
so it's my day to get allof the things. So what do
you expect, you know, foryou're not necessarily being able to spend Valentine's

(28:00):
Day with this person, Like,what do you expect as the sidekick to
get well, dinner which we alreadydid, drinks, we're about to go
out, gives all of everything,always the normal thing. I just get
it the day before or the dayafter. Do you feel bad that you
are the side chick and he hassomebody else that he's going home to or
no? No, because everybody's hada situations that are complicated and it's not

(28:23):
Some people just can't leave for whateverreason. And you know, it is
what it is. I'm not doinganything wrong. I don't have anyone at
home, so that that's that person'schallenge, you know, And that's a
lot of people's mindset. I'm notin the relationship. I don't owe the
loyalty. It's his responsibility to beloyal to you. He's choosing not to,
so what the fuck am I todo? That is the craziest mindset

(28:45):
to ever have ever. And actuallythat was so triggering to me. It
was so triggering to me to hearthat a woman could actually say, it's
not my problem. I'm not doinganything. That's what that's their situation,
that's what they got going on.I'm good over here. I'm being sad.
My needs are being taken care of. I'm being taken out to dinner
and that's all that matters. Ithink that's so selfish. And I asked
the girl and I was like,well, if the roles were reversed,

(29:08):
you know, and you were themaids, that would never happen to me
because I know how the type ofguy that he is, I would never
be with someone like him. Wow, but you are the but you are
you know what I mean. He'slike, I'll never be with somebody like
that full time, is what shewas saying. It's just and people think,
you know, you said something earlierto the to the extent of why

(29:32):
don't you feel bad about doing thatto another woman? But I think that
women are socially conditioned to, youknow, be caddy against each other and
compete against each other. And I'mbetter than you because I got this man
and you're, you know, thedumb ass who thinks that he loves you,
but he's again eating me and doingthis because we're all at the end
of the day where, whether wewant to admit it or not, there's

(29:56):
a what is it a biological timeclock that's clicking ticking for when we can
have our children, and we alltrying to get a meet. So if
your mate's giving me the attention,what forever reason? I feel like I
gotta take it. And it's reallyfucked up. It's really sad. And
I literally said, I was like, it's so sad that there's women out
there that have this mindset and thatthey do not care about the other woman.

(30:18):
And as someone who was the mainchick, and to find out that
another woman literally had no respect forme, did not care about me whatsoever.
Would text my man at all hours, would send him I message games,
would send him voice messages, thinkingI don't know what she was hoping
to get. Was she expecting himto leave me for her? And nine

(30:40):
times out of ten that's what theywant, but it never even actually happens.
Are you okay with being second placefor the rest of your life?
Are you okay with being a backupfor the rest of your life? That
says a lot about you and howyou feel about yourself more so than me.
Fair unless he's like you know,because these I think a lot of
the times you do blame the womana lot of the times, like the
woman she should know and why wouldyou do that to like, why is
the man doing this? Or ishe telling her like does she even know

(31:03):
that you guys are so together?Or is he telling her like I can't
stand her and I need to berescued and she's doing this like and it's
like, oh my god, asnurture as women were, Like, how
can I protect you or how canI help you through this? So I
really do want to put most ofthe blame one of the men. And
I also want to say it's awfulwhen your man is texting and calling and
the voice noting and whatever messaging thesewomen. It's even worse when the woman

(31:29):
has the boss to talk to youas the main chick, because that happened
to me before, where it's likethis is like this is my man,
and this is what we're doing,and I'm always going to love him and
I'm not going anywhere tell that story. It was when I was younger,
but it was his ex girlfriend andshe had his name tattooed super large on
her side. I think they weretogether for like maybe nine ten months or

(31:49):
something like that, so she obviouslydid the most. When they weren't even
together that long. They break up, me and him get together, and
from what I understand, I thinkthat maybe she may have been pregnant at
that time, and maybe they foundout later after they were broken up and
she ended up getting an abortion.But she was like holding that over him,
or it's like, you know,we were having a baby together,
and we'd have this, we'd havea five month old by now, we'd

(32:13):
have a one year old now,but a bit she got rid of it,
so you don't, God bless andit was, yeah, it was
kind of like, you know,just so you know, I think she
called my phone show just so youknow I'm done with him. But we
were doing X, Y and Zthis whole time, and I just thought
that you should know. And I'mlike, well, if you knew he
was with me, why would youdo that? And she was just I
love him with all my heart.I love him with everything in me,

(32:37):
and I just that's just what itis. I'm not like, that's I'm
sorry I act that way, butthat's my love and that's my heart,
and that's what it is. Shedid it to make herself feel better.
I mean, she needed that.It was an ego and a pride thing.
She wanted to feel like she wasbetter than you and that she had
him more attached than you, Butthen she had a better hold on your
man. Then you have a holdon your man. We both looked like,

(32:59):
okay at the end of the day, because he's nobody's man. He
sees fucking everybody in their in theirmom so we both looked dumb as hell.
You look dumb at hell for callingme. I looked dumb as hell
for for still dealing with him afteryou called me. And then it's just
what did she say? And thenafter she got fooling me, she uh
texted him like I told you Iwas gonna go out with a bang,
and then he sent me the screenshotof her saying that, Like it was

(33:21):
like she only did that to rowyou up, and I was dumb.
I was like eighteen nineteen, soit was, but it was like,
yeah, it was some shit.I dealt with some shit and you hung
up with him after right, No, we were together for six years,
girl, I was a dumb ass. Boom boo, dum fool, nice
to meet you. It's okay,girl, we've all been boo. Listen.

(33:44):
I can speak about it so proudlybecause I would never today and I've
grown through it. I've been throughit. I was a dumb ass so
many times, which is why I'mlike, I'm not dealing with that.
If I got to do all that, I'm not doing it. If you
show me who you are and whatyou are, I'm walking away because I've
sacrificed my peace in my sanity waytoo many times. Man, Should I
tell everybody how it was bootifuol?You can go for it, just petty

(34:04):
ish know how I how was bootifoollast year? I don't know. I
ain't never really really really really talkabout it. Should I? Should I
expose? Maybe give a little taste, a little a little teasers? Valentine's
Day? What did you? Whatdid you? What did you go through?
KT found out my man was ontender on Tinder and the b olk

(34:30):
app is still stay with his assboobootifool. But the kicker is the profile
pictures, pictures you talk, picturesI took or either was at my events?
The kicker on a red carpet event. The nerve, the nerves it

(34:51):
makes my insides like the nerve.The nerve I found out through my neighbor
she She texted Mekyla, just justmake it your You guys are okay.
I did see your man on Tinder, and that's somebody yourself who loves the
show, like loves the safe faceyou you care about image. Have an
outsider coming to me about my business, yes, knowing how I feel about

(35:15):
that, I don't know how youmean. See, that's why I don't
do it. I don't do it. I mean, that's why, that's
why all of his belongings were inthe pool. Oh good, I didn't
know you did that throwing over thebalcony. Thank for you. Yeah,
so we've all taken back a cheater. We've all looked like boo boo,
fool blue bood phone. Nice tomake chap. But it's okay. You
live and you learn learn. Hey, we've all been there. But also

(35:35):
back to the uh knowing that youwere side chick. I actually just remember
that there was a short period oftime or I wasn't a side chick,
but I was entertaining my ex whilehe had a girlfriend. And maybe this
is my karma, maybe everything thatit just came to me because I blocked
this side of my mind. Itwas during quarantine when everybody was depressed.
Yeah, and like everybody was goingoff the rails and lonely in my parents.

(36:00):
I'd moved back home and my exand I was like, not even
over at the time. I hada girlfriend, some white girl, and
he was still He's still obsessed me. He will always be obsessed me,
even to this day. We wereto like first love, and so we
would snapchat and it would just getto the point where it should not.
It would go too far the thingsthat we were snapping to each other,

(36:22):
and it was for a short berdof time, and eventually I was like,
I would not want this done tome. This is terrible, Kayla,
this isn't who you are. Stopit, and I cut it off.
But there was some times where Iwas sending some freaking snaps O wow,
quarantine in my parents' house, talkingabout some shit that sucks. H

(36:50):
Yeah. No. I definitely didget to the point though, where I
felt bad to and it's like,I don't want to do this. I
can't do this to this girl.She doesn't deserve it. I think they
were expecting kids, maybe happy,but you was actually having sex with him.
Oh it's okay. I think Ithink I forget. I think I
might have like a few times.I think so, yeah, everything like

(37:16):
nothing like every he what God blesshow awful awful? Forgive Caleb please.
I know I genuinely did feel bad, and it like it was. It
was like and and and my girls, my my. My community was like,
you know, don't do that,that's not cool. Like, but
if you know me, I'm gonnaask you advice. I'm gonna do what

(37:37):
I want to do at the endof the day, and you're gonna have
to just get over it and forgiveme later. My community was like,
yo, don't do that. That'snot cool, like like, leave that
man alone. It's like, butI love but I love him. It
was It wasn't that I fell inlove with him before I got it.
I just he was so fine tome. He was so attractive, he

(37:59):
was tad at to the maden hewere had. I liked it. I
liked it. Okay, okay,But that's another thing. That's another thing.
When you see that your friend isdoing too much, my community,
help me. If she is cheatingor she is in a relationship with a
married man. When do you stepin and say that goes against my morals.

(38:22):
That's triggering to me. I don'tlike that. You need to stop.
Do you even stop being friends withthat person because they're doing too much.
It's not your relationship, it's theirrelationship. But you don't you don't
agree with her actions. See Ialways used to be like, nah,
that like, that's that's not cool. When you love somebody, you ride
with them like good bad ugly,you know, like I love you,
I'm gonna love you through the goodand the bad ugly, like I just

(38:44):
said. But if I'm to thepoint where it's affecting me and like the
way I'm happy or my peace ofmind, you gotta go. So if
I can't like, and then alsoif it's character indicative, like this is
who you are, it's how youtreat people, why would I Why would
I keep you close to me?Exactly? I feel like I'm in the
space of my life where I havebeen burned in relationships so much that any
little thing triggers me. So ifI and I only want people around me

(39:07):
that have good intentions and good moralsand treat people the way that they want
to be treated. And in noworld, I'm sorry, can my best
friend like cheat on her man andme actively support it? Absolutely not.
I would have to step away,you know, I don't want to hear
nothing about it, none of that, because I know what it's like to

(39:28):
be cheated on, and so nowyou trigger in my insecurities and I just
I don't want no parts. Iunderstand that. I'm more I'm not that
fast moving. So like if myfriend's like, oh, you know,
I'm cheating on my man right now, like I'm fucked up, I would
more like understand, why why areyou okay? So how long do you
plan on doing that? Like doyou think we need to tell? Like

(39:49):
I wouldn't be so quick to oh, you made a bad decision, fuck
off. I'm more of like,what's going on with your sister? Are
you good? Like? Why you? Because this isn't like you? So
what's going on? And if it'sto the point where that's just who you
are now and that's just what youwant to do to people. I got
to distance myself a little bit,but not to the point where I'm never
talking to you again, just tothe point where I'm protecting myself. I

(40:10):
did have a question for you,though, something I experienced recently, and
I wonder know how you would havehandled this. So I was scrolling social
media. It was about eleven thirtymy time, and I'm from the East
Coast, so at that's two thirtythree o'clock my friends and family's time.
And I see on a friend ofa friend, a friend of a friend's

(40:32):
boyfriend slash Partners, there was agirl recording herself on his story and you
could see like it was recorded onhis phone on his Instagram because it showed
the filter that she used right atthe top, so you know it's recorded
in Instagram. And it was avideo of the girl recording herself. I

(40:52):
screen shot at it. I sentit to my friend, like, I
don't know if this is something,but your girl's man, this was on
his story, know what you wantto do with that? I just want
I think y'all should know if it'snothing. I'm not being messy. I
just, you know, want wantto let y'all know. And then I
went back to the guy's page andit was deleted. So it was up
for like two three minutes max,three o'clock in the morning, two thirty

(41:13):
in the morning. So I askedmy friend, like later in life,
because you know, I got alife, she got a life. You
don't talk every day, but I'mlike, hey, whatever happened with that?
Did you ever tell your girl,And she was like, I decided
not to because she's not going toleave. They're in at a new chapter
in life, and it's just goingto make her mad at me at the

(41:36):
end of the day. Or itcould just affect our relationship because I know
he's not going anywhere. I know. I know that, So me saying
and you know also that your man'sout til two three in the morning,
which you think he's doing. I'mnot telling you something that you don't know.
So either you're ignoring it and I'mgoing to allow you to be happy,
or I'm just not going to sayanything because I don't want to,
you know, be boo boo toforeat the end of the day. So

(41:57):
how do you do you think thatthat my friend handled that or how would
you handle that? Yeah? Ithink she did. You can only help
people but so much. And iftime and time again they take their man
back, defend their man. Imean, people are not blind, people
are not oblivious. She knows thatshe's being cheated on, and she's choosing
to accept it. And I can'timagine the amount of times that her friend

(42:21):
has tried to say something, tryto give her a warning and she has
either come to his defense, becauseI feel like I have been that person
as well, where it's like,I know my man is having me look
stupid, but I'm going to makesure to the world that I clean it
up, go into like pr mode, like I am going to defend him.
I'm going to clean No, thisis actually what he was really doing.

(42:42):
And you know so, And whenyou're in that kind of space,
nobody can tell you anything. Sosometimes it's not worth it, and if
you want to keep your friendship,it's better not to say anything. I
agree, because I know when Iwas in that space, nobody could tell
me nothing about my man, myman, my man, and my man
was dogging me wolf Wolf, Butyou're not about to tell me because I'm

(43:04):
mad at you about that. Butthen at the same time, I got
mad if y'all knew something, andI found out y'all knew and nobody said
anything to me. So y'all likehaving this discussion about what the fuck I'm
going through because I know it's likeyou didn't just sit on that. That's
some juicy t that's sure. Pulldid you tell and why didn't you feel
comfortable enough to tell me? Idon't trust you now going forward, if

(43:24):
I found out that you knew somethinglike that you didn't tell me, I
don't trust you. It's a loselose. Then you get mad if I
tell you, and if I don't, you get mad later. What what
am I supposed to do? Idon't have the answer. I don't have
the answer either, I think,but I just feel. I feel like
it's a similar situation I was inwith my friend that was in a domestic
situation, and like, at thispoint I had to wipe my hands clean

(43:45):
and say no more. Because theamount of times I try to save her
and convince her to leave, I'llput the down deposit on your on your
apartment if you can't get out.Like all that, it was still no,
I'm gonna know, we're gonna fixthis. We're gonna, you know,
cleaning up his image. When they'rein it, you can't tell them
anything. No, you can't.And so later in life, when they

(44:07):
are out of it and they findout that you found out that you knew
something and they're mad, I don'tthink that they have the right to be
mad. Honestly, you do nothave the right to be mad at me.
Now when I tried my hardest toget you out of that situation and
warn you, and you told meto fuck off, So that's fair.
Yeah, I don't. I don'tthink that. I don't think they'll have
the I don't. I don't liketo say what people have the right to

(44:29):
feel. You have the right towhatever feeling you feel. And I can
understand trust being broken at that point, but I think that's also a conversation
where was like you weren't you weren'treceptive, you won, never received it,
and I didn't want to lose youbecause I love you. So I
think they's just a way to goabout it. But yeah, I don't
think that you're right for being mad. But it's your feelings, you're entitled
to them. Such a sticky situation, Such a sticky situation, So petty

(44:51):
award of the week, woo.So, as we know, Beyonce has
released or is doing renaissance too,and it's country, and now all the
girls are country and ordering their asslist chaps and their boots and yeah,
all the sheep of the world arejust so easily influenced. So there's an
Oklahoma radio station, a country radiostation, that was refusing to play Beyonces

(45:16):
Texas, hold them because Beyonce isnot a country artist. But what you're
not going to do is Beyonce whilethe beehive is a thing. So when
they found out that the Oklahoma statstation isn't playing her song, they obviously
flooded the request line, flooded thecalls, and now they are adding Beyonces
Texas. Hold them. I sawthat their playlists as they should. Why

(45:39):
would you not? And also I'vebeen seeing some people say cultural culture,
cultural vulture, culture vulture. Firstof all, country music was started by
black people, and Beyonce's from Texas. Come on, now know your history
before you make ignorant comments like that. I can't. And I feel like
also country music is really really ballsyto dabble into just because they are so

(46:02):
they exclude so easily, Like ifyou're not one of them, you're not
one of them, right, Butthe one to do it is Beyonce.
Okay, you're gonna let me in. Don't play with her. Okay,
I'm gonna give mine to doctor Miami. Uh, he's so funny. He
confirmed penis enlargement surgeries actually exist,and he but the timing of this was
really funny. He talked about thisafter Drake's video, you know, surface

(46:25):
of it on Twitter. Yeah,so he just gets on you know tik
tok ands like you know it doesexist, penis a large? Yeah,
and I was I always thought thatthey did not. So that's thank you
doctor Miami for confirming that one andtwo. It's also rumored that, you
know, Drake got that body YadAYadA, yaddy done, and doctor Miami
was his doctor doing the six packsand this whole thing of the chest.

(46:45):
So maybe did he do the penisenlargement too. It's all allegedly, and
I'm not mad at it. Ifyou got your penis a large, go
for it. People get that breastand large and they're ass and large every
day, so you have a biggerpenis, my ex can hear? Go
for go for it? Yeah,Statty get it. I'm gonna go with

(47:07):
Oklahoma. No, I'm gonna gowith is it the Beehive? I'm gonna
go with doctor Miami because like that'sfunny. All right, We're going that
was That was shady, Patty.I worn't of the week? All right.
Alex from Pleasantville says, dear Kaylaand Kayla, how do you guys
end a date when you're not interestedin a guy, I feel like they

(47:27):
I feel like they always kind ofhover waiting for the verdict, and I
always feel so awkward to be puton the spot. So I always end
up saying I hope we can dothis again, sometimes when I really don't
hope we could do it again.Sometimes I also feel guilty rejecting them in
person, especially after they've paid.What would you girls do? Oh?
I would never reject in person thatnever. I have never done that.

(47:51):
Like I will lie and then neverspeak to you again. Like I I
know that's bad, but I'm notgood at being like I like feeling this,
like this wasn't my cup of tea. I think this should be the
last time that we see each other. I would never even when I meet
somebody at the club, you know, like actually that's a different story.
But if I'm like hanging out withsomebody at the club, like and they

(48:12):
bought me a drink and they askedmy number, it's like, oh yeah,
like we could we should hang outsometime, Like oh yeah, definitely
never talk to them again. Idon't know if I don't have the balls
to do it, but I justnot be rude. I think it takes
a different level of grown woman tobe like, hey, you know,
that was fun, thank you,but unfortunately you're just not my cup of
tea. Whatever. I think thatI would definitely not I would do the

(48:35):
you know, oh hope to seeyou again sometime, and then when they
call me, I'd be like,yeah, I could do a better overtext.
Yeah, I probably even even so, just make excuses as to why
I'm never available until they get thepicture like I'm just all of a sudden,
I'm just busy as fuck' So yeah, thanks for writing us. Yeah,
so, I mean that's our advice. Take it or leave it.
Oh, Kayla, we forgot totell them real quick about the game show

(48:55):
that we did this week. Ohfun, o, Kayla, We're on
a game show. Yeah, wedid portal one. It was so fun.
It was so much fun. Itwas like this virtual reality type of
game show. We were like,well, Kayla was the one playing in
the game, but she was likehitting the balls and I was cheering and
on and we got sucked into anotheruniverse. Yeah, we portalized. It's

(49:16):
so fun. So make sure youcheck out our episode. You gotta download
the Portal one app and watch uson March twenty fifth. It's going to
drop. We'll be reminded me right. Yes, I played the game and
my score was very low, soif you beat my score you get two
hundred dollars, which is good monies. Yeah, and it won't be easy
to beat her. You bitchy wouldnot have been able to do any better.

(49:37):
Okay, well make sure you checkout our photo one episode. Kayla,
you have anything fun coming up thisweek? Not really just Valentine's Day
with myself tomorrow, hanging out andtrying to get better, get healthy again.
Yeah, that sounds about right.Same here. I really have no
idea what I got coming up,but hopefully you guys come to the single
spore and check us out and followme at dk Lobston and I'm actually less,

(49:59):
I'm a supported and follow at thePettige podcast. Pace out, babe. Mm hm