November 10, 2025 • 29 mins
Jilyne Jarvis joins Jessamyn to discuss the importance of building confidence in young women and why it's so important early in life, as well as why it wanes at such a young age.
Under Jilyne’s leadership, ZGiRLS has transitioned from a pilot project in 2014 to a nationally-recognized foundation today, raising over $2.5 million in support and delivering more than 57,000 mentorship hours to more than 4,500 middle school girls. Seattle sports stars including Sue Bird, Val Whiting, and Lauren Barnes, have volunteered as mentors over the years.
In 2023, more than 72% of participants accessed ZGiRLS programs for free, reflecting the organization's commitment to inclusivity and accessibility. ZGiRLS also celebrated the milestone of serving over 1,300 girls ages 11-14 in a single year, signaling a successful pivot from in-person events to fully online programs in 2020.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome in.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is Jesson and McIntyre, your host of Seattle Voice,
your community voice presented by iHeart Radio in Seattle, and
I'm thrilled to be joined once again by Jeleene Jarvis,
who joins me here in studio today. So thank you
for making the commute to you and Sydney who works
with you. I appreciate you coming into Seattle because I
just love having these space to face conversations.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I think it's great. Thank you for being here. I
would rather be nowhere else but right here with you.
Well that makes me really happy.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
And now I'm gonna have to kind of like tamp
myself down with that confidence boost right there.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
If you guys didn't hear our first episode, you can
always go back.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
It was about a month ago that I got to
meet Jeleen for the first time and Sydney who came
in as well, when we talked about Z Girls, and
you can always go back and listen to that just
search Seattle Voice on the iHeart Radio app. But I'd
like to reintroduce you to the audience and just tell
me about Z Girls and the founding of that.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, well, thanks for having me back. It's so good
to be here.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I was just reflecting on sharing a little bit of
the real story of founding Z Girls.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
It's not something I share.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
A lot, so I thought you for doing it here
totally and it makes me, you know, a little bit
nervous because it's so honest and so personal. But I
want people to know what really happened in the starting
of Ze Girls and why. So I was a professional
ski racer and started Z Girls out of you know,
we had a first pilot program because we wanted to
give girls tools to build confidence. So we launched a
(01:30):
pilot program back in twenty twelve just as an idea
was like, let's just see what happens when we give
these tools to a bunch of ski racers. And as
we were building it, we got really good feedback and
we actually entered the idea into this business line competition
at the University of Washington, and we were going through
that process and we were about in the final stages
(01:52):
of the competition, so we admitted it to the Sweet
sixteen and then we actually ended up getting second place overall.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And I remember after that competition, I was talking with
my co founder and I got a phone call from
my mother and she shared that my coach, my ski
coach growing up, was one of the biggest role models
in my entire life. His daughter, at sixteen died by suicide.
That's tragic, and I remember getting that phone call and
(02:21):
the devastation. I mean even my voice still shakes nowadays
when I think about it.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
It doesn't, No, it doesn't. It impacts you forever.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
But what I thought in that moment is I called
my co founder and I said, Z Girls.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Has to exist.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
We have to do this, and not because we are
a suicide prevention organization, but because it shows that the
mind is invisible and so often we don't know what
girls are struggling with. We don't know what's happening in
their life. And if we could give resources to girls
to understand what how to navigate the thoughts that they
(02:56):
have to realize that what you think isn't always true
and there are things that you can do to navigate
those challenges and navigate things with your self worth and
your confidence still intact. So from that moment on, we said, no,
Sea Girls has to exist. And I've been dedicating the
last twelve years to making sure that we do everything
(03:18):
in our power to do that.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I love that again.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Juline Jarvis is joining me here in studio not only
a co founder of Z Girls, but executive director as well.
So a lot of plates in the air when it
comes to that, and I think it's important to have
a woman's voice on this, specifically me. I'm talking as
a woman. And I shared with you the last time
that you were in studio. Even though I was a
(03:43):
quote unquote you know, star athlete, captains of teams and
everything played in college, I had so many insecurities and
I don't know how these women can navigate it. Can
you tell us a little bit more about these pros
and what they actually do?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Totally, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, we've been we've been doing this for eleven years,
and so we give girls concrete tools that they can
use to navigate their mind. We've served over sixty five
hundred girls to this point, but it's still not enough.
We are hearing from our community, from girls all over
the place that we need help, we need more tools,
(04:24):
more resources, and we're like, we hear you, We're coming.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
And so that's actually what we're doing right now.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
We are launching something called Closing the Confidence Gap, and
I'll introduce what the confidence gap is really quick.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
So right around age thirteen fourteen, girls confidence drops by
forty percent, boys confidence stays the same. If you project
that out into the future into adulthood, that's called the
confidence gap. Is that the gap between girls and boys
that we are trying to close, because what happens when
girls don't have confidence into adulthood. They don't apply for
(04:59):
that because they don't think that they're qualified. They don't
raise their hand to use their voice, they don't contribute
to society and communities in ways that they should because
they're stuck in self doubt and they're stuck in insecurity.
And so we want to tackle that before it becomes
a problem. We want to tackle it right before that
confidence gap starts. So we're closing the confidence gap.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
And the way we're doing it is we are going
to organizations that already serve girls. So these are sports teams,
after school clubs, organizations, and we are equipping them with
the resources that we already teach because that is so
much more scalable and it can go far and wide quickly.
So our goal is right now we're raising one hundred
(05:45):
thousand dollars to serve ten thousand girls. And it's starting now,
Like we're raising money right now and we're going to
kick it off in January and start building this because
more girls need it.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'm excited again. Jilly Jarvis joining me with Ze Girls
in studio. Jessman McIntyre Seattle Voice. You can find us
on iHeartRadio across all six of our platforms every Sunday.
And one of the things that I really like that
you brought up, you're an athlete.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm an athlete.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
There's a lot of other people out there that aren't.
What kind of clubs do you engage with? I know
that your in way was through sports, but is there
room to grow outside of just sports?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
That's exactly it.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yes, So we started very sports specific, right, but since in.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Real house it makes sense. Yeah, I mean, it's what
I know and it's a lens to learn.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Right. So if you just say be confident, here's how
that's not as impactful as if when you tell stories.
And so what we do is we bring women into
our organization that tell stories, that share their own personal experiences.
That is how you connect and teach. And so now
we're like, okay, we got this, and we are already
offering our online programs all the time. Those are happening,
but now we're going to organizations that girls play instruments,
(06:57):
girls read books, girls do art, girls are in stem
So all of these organizations can teach what we teach
with their language, with their experiences, and so that's why
we're equipping female role models that are already in these
spaces to teach this because they know best and they
can make it relatable for the girls in their community.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I absolutely love that, and I think it could because
I mean, I'm everyone here at work calls me a
five tool player. You know, I'm a reader. I was
a musician as well. Athlete is where I focus. But yeah,
I'm absolutely right in line with everything.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I was, you know, really good in biology and everything
I wanted to write, so I went into sports journalism.
And I think that also when it comes to girls
who have ambition, that they don't know which avenue to
go at least that was my personal experience, because you
can be good at a lot of things, but where
do you want to excel?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Is that part of where this confidence gap is.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Like maybe I can only do one thing because that's
the one thing I want to focus on.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
M I love that you know. Where my mind goes
is to the concept of scarcity. And I think what
happens to a lot of us in our youth is
we believe, not necessarily with our self, that we can
only be one thing. But I think we think we're
competing with each other for the same amount of whatever
it is that we're going for success, winning, losing. So
(08:24):
we think if Jessamine wins, that means Jelene can't, or
if Jessamine gets an A on her test, that means
Jelene can't. And I think we're in this misbelief. It's
not true that you and I are competing for the
same pie. I don't think there has to be a pie.
And that is part of it. That is part of
(08:44):
closing the gap in that debunking and helping girls realize
you're not actually in competition with each other for your
own success, be.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
In competition with yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And then back to what you were saying is yeah,
you don't have to put yourself in a box. You
don't have to be just one thing. Follow your curiosity,
keep leading where that goes, and you know you're not
you don't have to be just one thing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yes, Oh my gosh, Dylan Jarvis, thank you your preaching
of the choir over here. But you know, I'm a
sideline reporter.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I've been doing it. This is my fourteenth season.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I travel every single weekend for Washington State football, and
I've done TV as well, and I was very disappointed
in the feedback I would get because I note stories, interviews.
I nailed it. Your makeup is shiny, your hair looks weird.
Oh like it's raining, But isn't the stuff I'm saying good?
I get TV as a visual medium, and that is
(09:40):
what people do focus on. I got the most criticism
in that business that had nothing to do with my work,
And that's why I honestly love radio because I want
to focus on the storytelling and the game and this
and that. But people would think they were complimenting me
by being negative about other women, who, oh, you're better
(10:04):
than her, you know, famous gorgeous national reporters that we're
on TV, and oh, we need you, you're better than her,
And I'm like, why do you think an insult is
a compliment?
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Have you experienced an Absolutely they're pinning you against each other.
Involuntary and thinking they're compliment to you, totally, totally, because
they're also at the belief that there's only one spot
at the table, right, there's only one seat. No, we're
bringing fifty seats to the table, or we're gonna make
our own table. Yes, you know, because it's just it's
the way our culture is set up, and it starts
(10:41):
very young. And I'm gonna put myself in that I'm
gonna raise my hand and say I was raised this
way too. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm
not in competition with other girls serving organizations. I'm not
in competition you know, with other nonprofits that are raising money.
It's we are all doing this together, and we're moving
ball forward together, and it's so much easier and nicer
(11:04):
to work in community with other people.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
But I do get sucked in to believing that I
have to beat you to be where I need to
be or I'm not as good as you. Sure, totally.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
If you are here and I'm here like I'm doing
hand Jesus just as his audio. But if you are
up here and I'm just right below you, then I
am not winning.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Yeah, I'm threatened by your success right right, And it
does what an invitation to say, Wow, look at jessm
and she's doing this thing. I know I can't too,
because she's done it. I think so many of us
look to social media and see the success of people
and think, oh, they can do that.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I can't. That's all for helf fake anyway.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You're not with the best out there anyway. So you know,
I think I love these kind of conversations because I
raise my hand and say, I'm in this too. I
have to combat these you know, habits, these pad earns,
these things that I've grown up with and I do
this day in day out, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
And that's why I stand in front.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Of these girls and say, hey, I do this too,
but we don't have to. We get the choice to change,
and it starts in your mind, and it starts the
decisions you make and how you show up with your friends,
with your peers.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So yeah, no, I experienced that too. Yeah, I got
one hundred percent. Just I hear so much. I'm gonna
tell you a little story here. I just want to
make sure everyone knows who we're talking to. This is
the Z Girls co founder Jelene Jarvis, who also serves
as executive director. I highly recommend checking everything that they're
doing out, especially because the growth over twelve years seems
(12:40):
to not be stopping. As a sideline reporter, I was
very intimidated by the gorgeous TV women. Oh Like, I'm
a bigger girl, I play college volleyball, I work out,
But these women are just models that are standing next
to me.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I made a decision three years in to start sharing
information and I'm not competing with them. I'm on radio,
they're on TV. And I just remember Maria Taylor was
one of the first women who was working a game
I was working. Mike Leach was the head coach, so
we got a lot of national games just because of the.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I guess I want to call it the fanfare around him.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And so it was big networks, very highly touted personalities.
And I said, hey, do you need any pronunciation help?
As you know, working in the Pacific Northwest, there's a
lot of interesting pronunciations. It goes that way with any
football team anyway. But there's one hundred guys on the roster.
And then I started telling her about, Hey, I think
(13:40):
that this guy's actually going to start at right guard
today and she goes, oh, I didn't have that, And
then if she goes, when I go to the other sideline,
because the national team has to or a national broadcast
has to cover both sidelines, I only had to cover
my own team. I probably wasn't even allowed on the
other sideline. And we went back and forth. She goes,
if I get anything from over there, you need to
know about And it was great. It was just like
(14:03):
a decision I made where I'm like, hey, do you
need to know this? Okay, just let me know. And
then I did it with everyone. And the majority of
sideline reporters on television at least are female. The majority
in radio are male because they probably want to get
to the booth at some point. So every I've become
(14:23):
such good friends with so many women who work in television.
Sidney Brunson huge one. She went to Washington State. She
did a lot of our games for her PAC twelve network.
Molly McKnight has been amazing. Aaron andrews helped me out
when I sideline it for the Seahawks. She came running
up to me. It was during COVID and so there
were no fans in the stands. I had a mask on.
(14:43):
She had a mask on. She's hearing the guys upstairs
on the TV broadcast see that Jared Goff got injured.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
That's a huge story. So she comes running up to
me and we're trying to understand each other. She pulls
her mask out and goes, dere gov it is the
on the back of a helmet. He's out. I'm running
over there. You can report that, and I might thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You're probably the most famous sideline reporter out there, and
we just shared notes and everything and anyway, that's a
long winded story, but I wanted to let people know
that women in this industry are not in any way
in competition with each other. And the only people who
have been jerks to me television sideline reporting wise, and
(15:26):
it's not all of them, but at bedmin yeah, and
it was only two of them.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, but it was.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
This I'm above you kind of thing. And I don't
want to call it genderbeast, but it happens. Never from
a woman, yeah, ever, have only helped each other.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
What a gift.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
And it just goes back to that concept that a
rising tide raises all boats.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Thank you, right, the water rises.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
You don't have to put a hole in someone else's
boat and say hi, bye, let all the boats rise.
And I think women, once you see it, once you
see what it can be when you lower the guard
and you're like, okay, we're not in competition with each other.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Let's join forces.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Oh my, what unleashes when women join together, and you know,
it's unstoppable. And that's the world that I want to
live in. And that's the world that we're creating together,
all of us women, girls. We're showing what it looks like.
And then we're this next generation is going to be
so different than us, and I can't wait. I'm so
(16:25):
excited to see them, you know, enter adulthood with their
self worth intact, knowing that they can take on challenges.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
We're not trying to teach girls that they're not going
to fail or that they're not going to have challenges.
That is guaranteed in life. You are absolutely going to fail.
You have to acknowledge that, and you have to make
friends with that. You are about absolutely going to have
challenges time and time again. There's no way to get
to success without either of those two things. But you
do not have to shed all of your confidence on
(16:57):
the journey. You can have your confidence intact and you
can continue forward bravely. You can have fear sit next
to you and take that step forward bravely. Anyway, let
us show you how to do that because we do
it every day. It may not look like it on
social media, but we do things scared all the time,
and you can too, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Julian Jarvis here with z girls, and I do want
to get into the event that you have coming up.
But that just reminded me of something I don't know
if I shared with you my little bracelet that I
wear every day.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
It was two years ago. My dad at Christmas gave
it to me.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
It's Morse code for zero bleeps given, and he goes,
you give this is on Christmas Eve, gives it to
me and said you give too many bleeps. He gave
it to my sister and sister in law too.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Andy. He's a football coach and he's like, you care
too much.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
But it was I accepted that message though, because that's
what he was saying, is that you're amazing. Why are
you giving so many bleeps about stuff that doesn't matter?
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Is that other people's opinions?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I think just anxiety about you know, my performance.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I really got good at not paying attention to other
people's opinions because I noticed that ninety seven percent of
them are positive. Yeah, but the three percent is what
we pay attention to, right, And so I backed to
have social media just because.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
I only put facts out there.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I used to share my life a lot, and you know,
just you know, when someone is like, oh, she's fatter
than I thought, she was, like, well, you don't know me,
and also I'm beautiful, so go away totally. So I
don't need to see that. And I don't like blocking
people because that gives them the attention that they got
to me. And you know, so I just I backed
(18:42):
off that and that helped. And I think that this
next generation, I don't know, if you feel this way,
that social media is not going.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
To be that cool. I hope so, I really hope
so too.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm okay, I know a lot of my job in
this business is tied to social media. I hope the
next generation doesn't have to experience it.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I have so too.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
And I think we're learning enough nowadays about how toxic
and how you know, difficult it could be on your
mind and your mental health. It's not good, it's consuming,
it's addicting. They have scientists that are much smarter than us.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Oh, the founders of those companies have did a documentary
saying it totally.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
They decided that they are using the same technology as
slot machines to make you addicted to social media. It's
excruciating to learn about and now we know why we
just you know, get sucked into it.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
But I think we know enough now to combat it.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
I agree, and I hope you are right that this
next generation says puts down their phones and says we
don't either.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Well, I'm hoping that I'm like the aunt. You know,
I have a niece and nephew they're ten and eight.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I hope.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I hope that they're like, oh, only old people do that.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
I could be the example about what's not I'm with that.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
I will be the old person that is not cool
if you stop musing.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yes, yeah, I think it all starts out with wanting
to communicate with each other, right totally. Facebook was around
our first thing and you're like, oh, I want to
see what my friends are up to, and then as
that evolved, it turned into well I'm connected to my
family on here and I live across the coast from
my entire family, so oh, now they can see what
(20:16):
I'm doing and it seems nice and then you get
you know, I've had a unfortunately, when you're a public
facing figure, you know, I had some stalking issues that
you know obviously arise through the use of social media
and people could find things out. I didn't like that
it has so many avenues of being bad. I like
(20:37):
to share things with people, and I did that for
a while before Twitter became a cesspool. And this is
years ago where I took a walk with my dog
this morning before work. I like to share that with
people because there's so much positivity before I think it's
gonna eat itself.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, and you know what I'm seeing that's a good
trend is vulnerability and honesty about struggles.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Agree.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'm loving the influencers right now that are saying, hey,
I got up this morning and I was getting dressed.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I thought twice about what I was wearing. But you
know when I'm wearing this and they like.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Pinch their side, you know, to show that like what
body fat really should look like, or you know, they're
talking about the insecurities that they have or how something
didn't go well.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Show me the struggle, show me the downfall, show me
the things that we're all experiencing day and day out.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Like that's the good side. But it's rare. It does not.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Happen very often. And yeah, I mean the trolling and
everything like that, it's horrible.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
It's gonna be there. Yeah. I call everyone, whether they're
real or not, just about Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Like, if I see negativity, it's my own little like
mental note where I'm like, that's about that's not a
real person. Yeah, and if they are, I'm sad for
them totally. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Again.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Juliane Jarvis joining me from Sea Girls here. iHeartRadio. You're
listening to Seattle Voice across all of our stations today
and Jiline, I wanted to talk to you about this
event that you have coming up and just you.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I'll let you talk because I like your voice better
than Minel. Well, we have an event coming up.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
It's at Rough and Tumble Pub in Ballard and it's
really the kickoff of our end of year campaign called
Closing the Confidence Gap.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
And this is a sneak peak.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
The actual campaign kicks off November nineteenth in a couple
of weeks and so we're so excited for that and
anyone is welcome. It's a free event, an incredible space.
If you haven't been to Rough and Tumble, you have
to go. And we're going to be talking about, Yeah,
what it means to close the confidence gap, and what
this means for girls, what it means for women, and
what it means for our future in leadership, and what
(22:40):
happens when girls step into their confidence and don't let
it fall and decline in middle school.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, it's crazy because I can go through my own
life and just know that that is the exact age
when I started to question you know, a lot of confidence. Yeah,
it was around like eleven twelve for me. That's when
I really got into sports. So that helped because I
found a different community and everything.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
But we could run free and.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Play in a sprinkler and not worry about what we're
wearing and drink.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Out of a hose and school was exciting.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, you know, you wanted to see your friends, you
wanted to be happy and have this community and it once.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I'm going to ask you this question.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And I know neither of us are doctors or anything,
but we go through puberty earlier. Yeah, then guys, do
and do you think just your own experience, my own experience, does.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
That play a role in all the things that are
happening in your brain? And yeah, hormones, Yeah, I mean,
I I'll speak for myself personally. I think I struggled
the most right around sixteen.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
And if you had, if you had met me at
that age, you wouldn't have known.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
You wouldn't have known that I had a confidence problem
because I was extroverted and I was very good at
my sport, and so you know, people look, oh, she's
got the recipe to be confident, and I didn't. I
struggled so much, And that was about when I was
in puberty, you know. And you know, perhaps it was hormonal,
but I think a lot of it was just your
mind is invisible, and I didn't know who to talk
(24:12):
to about the fact that I felt alone surrounded by people.
I had people around me all the time, and I
just felt so confused. And you know, the thoughts that
I had was You're not enough, you can't do it.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Who do you think you are? Everybody has those thoughts.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yes, I didn't know that, and so now you know,
we're hoping to change that into hoping to help girls.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Recognize much much younger, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
With you and open the line of communication. You can't
talk to any girls about that, yes, and.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
They're gonna say me too. Yeah, I feel that same way.
Thank you for being honest with me. Yeah, I still
remember mine.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I was younger when I started developing, when I went
through puberty, right, and sorry if that's too much for
you guys out there, but deal with it. I was twelve, yeah,
or eleven actually, and then I got a lot of
it tension from young men, which was very uncomfortable with.
And when I went to junior high, we did seventh
and eighth grade in New York, so you go from
(25:09):
elementary school to junior high and then you know, everyone's
kind of going through different phases. So some of them
are kind of getting to young men age, and some
of the boys were waiting for their growth spurt.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
All of us girls were dealing with stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And I remember being in seventh grade getting what I
wouldn't consider harassed, but followed around by boys who were
a year older than me and the girls who are
a year older.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That feels like five years older.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
When you're that age, it's intimidating and stuff really didn't
like me. Yeah, and I did nothing. I was so
uncomfortable with it. I didn't engage, I didn't talk to them.
I just kind of quietly held my books and went away.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I went to the library, and like a public library,
not the school library, went to my hometown library. I
followed in there by sixteen year olds. They had driven
and saw me walking down the street from my parents'
house and followed me in there and tried to talk
to me. And I was kind of terrified. They're not
doing anything to me, but I was mortified, more mortified
(26:15):
than terrified, where I'm just like, God, I don't know
what to do.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
And I just sat there quietly and studied and ignored them.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
That crushed me in that, and then the girls didn't
like me because of that.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
There's nothing you can do to fit in. No, You're like,
I can't change my body. I don't know what to
do with this. And it's so I'm so glad you
shared that, because thanks, I have really talked about that
ever totally, and your experience is so similar to every
girl that goes through that at that age. And I
wish that we had known each other at that age
and have been able to talk because I wanted to
(26:48):
be you. If we had met at that age, I
would have looked at you and said, all I want
is to go through puberty. I used to stuff my
bra because I wanted breasts. Oh, you're not alone, and
so I wanted to be the one that looked older
and you wanted to not go through it.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
It's like I just didn't want the attention, and I
wanted the attention. It's so but it's it's so interesting
to hear that each of us has that story, each
of us has that experience that is rooted in what
do I do?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I just you know, where do I fit in? How
do I be myself? I just want to be accepted,
that's all.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
I don't want to belong. I want to belong with
my peers. I want to be loved for who I am.
And you can't change the fact that you went through puberty.
You can't change what's going on with your body. So
thanks for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Thank you for understanding what I was, you know, doing
like we're all different people too, and the comfort level
you know that I'm not in an age I could
talk to my parents about it. I knew how much
of the girls didn't like it, so I couldn't talk
to friends about it because I thought maybe I'd put
my friends in the same headspace as these older girls
who were like, who is this fresh meat in here?
(28:01):
Oh my god, I just play basketball.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Man, totally, Just hold me that ball, give me a jersey.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
We both had different experiences too, even though we both
were different, because everyone should know that someone else there relates,
someone out there relates to everything.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
This has been so cathartic for me. But I want
to know.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Also, if people want to get involved in Z Girls
learn More, how can they do?
Speaker 3 (28:24):
So go to z girls dot org And if if
you want to get involved, please do check us out.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
We are fully funded by our community, so our.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Programs are free, and so we ask our community to
join us and making this possible.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
And the need is massive.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
There is such a need right now to bring this
to so so many girls, and we will do everything
in our power to keep doing that. I love getting
to do this work because I need it too. So yeah,
check us out. If you have a middle school girl,
sign her up for a program. We'd love to meet her,
love or have her in there love to give her
these tools because everybody needs them.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
I agree again Jelene Jarvis with the Z girls here
with me, and once again, just in case people missed earlier.
I know people can be busy on the weekend while
they're listening to this show. How can they find more
information about your Rough and Tumble event?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Go to zegos dot org the get involved.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
There's a link right there to register and show up
or to show up just come, just come, And what
time does that get kicked off?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Six pm?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Well, thank you so much. It's such a joy to
see you and both Sydney. Thank you for making this
happen because we had a great conversation when she first
reached out and I was like, I need to meet
both of you in person, and I love this continue
following all the work that you do, and I just
wish you the best of luck.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
It's gonna be so awesome. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
You've been listening to Seattle Voice. This is Jessman McIntyre.
You're also Seattle Voice, presented by iHeartMedia dot com. Remember
if you want your voice heard, just email Seattle Voice
at iHeartMedia dot com We'll talk to you next week.
Welcome in.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
This is Jesson and McIntyre, your host of Seattle Voice,
your community voice presented by iHeart Radio in Seattle, and
I'm thrilled to be joined once again by Jeleene Jarvis,
who joins me here in studio today. So thank you
for making the commute to you and Sydney who works
with you. I appreciate you coming into Seattle because I
just love having these space to face conversations.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
I think it's great. Thank you for being here. I
would rather be nowhere else but right here with you.
Well that makes me really happy.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
And now I'm gonna have to kind of like tamp
myself down with that confidence boost right there.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
If you guys didn't hear our first episode, you can
always go back.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
It was about a month ago that I got to
meet Jeleen for the first time and Sydney who came
in as well, when we talked about Z Girls, and
you can always go back and listen to that just
search Seattle Voice on the iHeart Radio app. But I'd
like to reintroduce you to the audience and just tell
me about Z Girls and the founding of that.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
Yeah, well, thanks for having me back. It's so good
to be here.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I was just reflecting on sharing a little bit of
the real story of founding Z Girls.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
It's not something I share.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
A lot, so I thought you for doing it here
totally and it makes me, you know, a little bit
nervous because it's so honest and so personal. But I
want people to know what really happened in the starting
of Ze Girls and why. So I was a professional
ski racer and started Z Girls out of you know,
we had a first pilot program because we wanted to
give girls tools to build confidence. So we launched a
(01:30):
pilot program back in twenty twelve just as an idea
was like, let's just see what happens when we give
these tools to a bunch of ski racers. And as
we were building it, we got really good feedback and
we actually entered the idea into this business line competition
at the University of Washington, and we were going through
that process and we were about in the final stages
(01:52):
of the competition, so we admitted it to the Sweet
sixteen and then we actually ended up getting second place overall.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
And I remember after that competition, I was talking with
my co founder and I got a phone call from
my mother and she shared that my coach, my ski
coach growing up, was one of the biggest role models
in my entire life. His daughter, at sixteen died by suicide.
That's tragic, and I remember getting that phone call and
(02:21):
the devastation. I mean even my voice still shakes nowadays
when I think about it.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
It doesn't, No, it doesn't. It impacts you forever.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
But what I thought in that moment is I called
my co founder and I said, Z Girls.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Has to exist.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
We have to do this, and not because we are
a suicide prevention organization, but because it shows that the
mind is invisible and so often we don't know what
girls are struggling with. We don't know what's happening in
their life. And if we could give resources to girls
to understand what how to navigate the thoughts that they
(02:56):
have to realize that what you think isn't always true
and there are things that you can do to navigate
those challenges and navigate things with your self worth and
your confidence still intact. So from that moment on, we said, no,
Sea Girls has to exist. And I've been dedicating the
last twelve years to making sure that we do everything
(03:18):
in our power to do that.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
I love that again.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Juline Jarvis is joining me here in studio not only
a co founder of Z Girls, but executive director as well.
So a lot of plates in the air when it
comes to that, and I think it's important to have
a woman's voice on this, specifically me. I'm talking as
a woman. And I shared with you the last time
that you were in studio. Even though I was a
(03:43):
quote unquote you know, star athlete, captains of teams and
everything played in college, I had so many insecurities and
I don't know how these women can navigate it. Can
you tell us a little bit more about these pros
and what they actually do?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Totally, so thank you.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, we've been we've been doing this for eleven years,
and so we give girls concrete tools that they can
use to navigate their mind. We've served over sixty five
hundred girls to this point, but it's still not enough.
We are hearing from our community, from girls all over
the place that we need help, we need more tools,
(04:24):
more resources, and we're like, we hear you, We're coming.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
And so that's actually what we're doing right now.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
We are launching something called Closing the Confidence Gap, and
I'll introduce what the confidence gap is really quick.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
So right around age thirteen fourteen, girls confidence drops by
forty percent, boys confidence stays the same. If you project
that out into the future into adulthood, that's called the
confidence gap. Is that the gap between girls and boys
that we are trying to close, because what happens when
girls don't have confidence into adulthood. They don't apply for
(04:59):
that because they don't think that they're qualified. They don't
raise their hand to use their voice, they don't contribute
to society and communities in ways that they should because
they're stuck in self doubt and they're stuck in insecurity.
And so we want to tackle that before it becomes
a problem. We want to tackle it right before that
confidence gap starts. So we're closing the confidence gap.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
And the way we're doing it is we are going
to organizations that already serve girls. So these are sports teams,
after school clubs, organizations, and we are equipping them with
the resources that we already teach because that is so
much more scalable and it can go far and wide quickly.
So our goal is right now we're raising one hundred
(05:45):
thousand dollars to serve ten thousand girls. And it's starting now,
Like we're raising money right now and we're going to
kick it off in January and start building this because
more girls need it.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'm excited again. Jilly Jarvis joining me with Ze Girls
in studio. Jessman McIntyre Seattle Voice. You can find us
on iHeartRadio across all six of our platforms every Sunday.
And one of the things that I really like that
you brought up, you're an athlete.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm an athlete.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
There's a lot of other people out there that aren't.
What kind of clubs do you engage with? I know
that your in way was through sports, but is there
room to grow outside of just sports?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
That's exactly it.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Yes, So we started very sports specific, right, but since in.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Real house it makes sense. Yeah, I mean, it's what
I know and it's a lens to learn.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Right. So if you just say be confident, here's how
that's not as impactful as if when you tell stories.
And so what we do is we bring women into
our organization that tell stories, that share their own personal experiences.
That is how you connect and teach. And so now
we're like, okay, we got this, and we are already
offering our online programs all the time. Those are happening,
but now we're going to organizations that girls play instruments,
(06:57):
girls read books, girls do art, girls are in stem
So all of these organizations can teach what we teach
with their language, with their experiences, and so that's why
we're equipping female role models that are already in these
spaces to teach this because they know best and they
can make it relatable for the girls in their community.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I absolutely love that, and I think it could because
I mean, I'm everyone here at work calls me a
five tool player. You know, I'm a reader. I was
a musician as well. Athlete is where I focus. But yeah,
I'm absolutely right in line with everything.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I was, you know, really good in biology and everything
I wanted to write, so I went into sports journalism.
And I think that also when it comes to girls
who have ambition, that they don't know which avenue to
go at least that was my personal experience, because you
can be good at a lot of things, but where
do you want to excel?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Is that part of where this confidence gap is.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Like maybe I can only do one thing because that's
the one thing I want to focus on.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
M I love that you know. Where my mind goes
is to the concept of scarcity. And I think what
happens to a lot of us in our youth is
we believe, not necessarily with our self, that we can
only be one thing. But I think we think we're
competing with each other for the same amount of whatever
it is that we're going for success, winning, losing. So
(08:24):
we think if Jessamine wins, that means Jelene can't, or
if Jessamine gets an A on her test, that means
Jelene can't. And I think we're in this misbelief. It's
not true that you and I are competing for the
same pie. I don't think there has to be a pie.
And that is part of it. That is part of
(08:44):
closing the gap in that debunking and helping girls realize
you're not actually in competition with each other for your
own success, be.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
In competition with yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
And then back to what you were saying is yeah,
you don't have to put yourself in a box. You
don't have to be just one thing. Follow your curiosity,
keep leading where that goes, and you know you're not
you don't have to be just one thing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yes, Oh my gosh, Dylan Jarvis, thank you your preaching
of the choir over here. But you know, I'm a
sideline reporter.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
I've been doing it. This is my fourteenth season.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I travel every single weekend for Washington State football, and
I've done TV as well, and I was very disappointed
in the feedback I would get because I note stories, interviews.
I nailed it. Your makeup is shiny, your hair looks weird.
Oh like it's raining, But isn't the stuff I'm saying good?
I get TV as a visual medium, and that is
(09:40):
what people do focus on. I got the most criticism
in that business that had nothing to do with my work,
And that's why I honestly love radio because I want
to focus on the storytelling and the game and this
and that. But people would think they were complimenting me
by being negative about other women, who, oh, you're better
(10:04):
than her, you know, famous gorgeous national reporters that we're
on TV, and oh, we need you, you're better than her,
And I'm like, why do you think an insult is
a compliment?
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Have you experienced an Absolutely they're pinning you against each other.
Involuntary and thinking they're compliment to you, totally, totally, because
they're also at the belief that there's only one spot
at the table, right, there's only one seat. No, we're
bringing fifty seats to the table, or we're gonna make
our own table. Yes, you know, because it's just it's
the way our culture is set up, and it starts
(10:41):
very young. And I'm gonna put myself in that I'm
gonna raise my hand and say I was raised this
way too. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm
not in competition with other girls serving organizations. I'm not
in competition you know, with other nonprofits that are raising money.
It's we are all doing this together, and we're moving
ball forward together, and it's so much easier and nicer
(11:04):
to work in community with other people.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
But I do get sucked in to believing that I
have to beat you to be where I need to
be or I'm not as good as you. Sure, totally.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
If you are here and I'm here like I'm doing
hand Jesus just as his audio. But if you are
up here and I'm just right below you, then I
am not winning.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Yeah, I'm threatened by your success right right, And it
does what an invitation to say, Wow, look at jessm
and she's doing this thing. I know I can't too,
because she's done it. I think so many of us
look to social media and see the success of people
and think, oh, they can do that.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
I can't. That's all for helf fake anyway.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
You're not with the best out there anyway. So you know,
I think I love these kind of conversations because I
raise my hand and say, I'm in this too. I
have to combat these you know, habits, these pad earns,
these things that I've grown up with and I do
this day in day out, you know.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
And that's why I stand in front.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Of these girls and say, hey, I do this too,
but we don't have to. We get the choice to change,
and it starts in your mind, and it starts the
decisions you make and how you show up with your friends,
with your peers.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So yeah, no, I experienced that too. Yeah, I got
one hundred percent. Just I hear so much. I'm gonna
tell you a little story here. I just want to
make sure everyone knows who we're talking to. This is
the Z Girls co founder Jelene Jarvis, who also serves
as executive director. I highly recommend checking everything that they're
doing out, especially because the growth over twelve years seems
(12:40):
to not be stopping. As a sideline reporter, I was
very intimidated by the gorgeous TV women. Oh Like, I'm
a bigger girl, I play college volleyball, I work out,
But these women are just models that are standing next
to me.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I made a decision three years in to start sharing
information and I'm not competing with them. I'm on radio,
they're on TV. And I just remember Maria Taylor was
one of the first women who was working a game
I was working. Mike Leach was the head coach, so
we got a lot of national games just because of the.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I guess I want to call it the fanfare around him.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And so it was big networks, very highly touted personalities.
And I said, hey, do you need any pronunciation help?
As you know, working in the Pacific Northwest, there's a
lot of interesting pronunciations. It goes that way with any
football team anyway. But there's one hundred guys on the roster.
And then I started telling her about, Hey, I think
(13:40):
that this guy's actually going to start at right guard
today and she goes, oh, I didn't have that, And
then if she goes, when I go to the other sideline,
because the national team has to or a national broadcast
has to cover both sidelines, I only had to cover
my own team. I probably wasn't even allowed on the
other sideline. And we went back and forth. She goes,
if I get anything from over there, you need to
know about And it was great. It was just like
(14:03):
a decision I made where I'm like, hey, do you
need to know this? Okay, just let me know. And
then I did it with everyone. And the majority of
sideline reporters on television at least are female. The majority
in radio are male because they probably want to get
to the booth at some point. So every I've become
(14:23):
such good friends with so many women who work in television.
Sidney Brunson huge one. She went to Washington State. She
did a lot of our games for her PAC twelve network.
Molly McKnight has been amazing. Aaron andrews helped me out
when I sideline it for the Seahawks. She came running
up to me. It was during COVID and so there
were no fans in the stands. I had a mask on.
(14:43):
She had a mask on. She's hearing the guys upstairs
on the TV broadcast see that Jared Goff got injured.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
That's a huge story. So she comes running up to
me and we're trying to understand each other. She pulls
her mask out and goes, dere gov it is the
on the back of a helmet. He's out. I'm running
over there. You can report that, and I might thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You're probably the most famous sideline reporter out there, and
we just shared notes and everything and anyway, that's a
long winded story, but I wanted to let people know
that women in this industry are not in any way
in competition with each other. And the only people who
have been jerks to me television sideline reporting wise, and
(15:26):
it's not all of them, but at bedmin yeah, and
it was only two of them.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, but it was.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
This I'm above you kind of thing. And I don't
want to call it genderbeast, but it happens. Never from
a woman, yeah, ever, have only helped each other.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
What a gift.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
And it just goes back to that concept that a
rising tide raises all boats.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Thank you, right, the water rises.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
You don't have to put a hole in someone else's
boat and say hi, bye, let all the boats rise.
And I think women, once you see it, once you
see what it can be when you lower the guard
and you're like, okay, we're not in competition with each other.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Let's join forces.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Oh my, what unleashes when women join together, and you know,
it's unstoppable. And that's the world that I want to
live in. And that's the world that we're creating together,
all of us women, girls. We're showing what it looks like.
And then we're this next generation is going to be
so different than us, and I can't wait. I'm so
(16:25):
excited to see them, you know, enter adulthood with their
self worth intact, knowing that they can take on challenges.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
We're not trying to teach girls that they're not going
to fail or that they're not going to have challenges.
That is guaranteed in life. You are absolutely going to fail.
You have to acknowledge that, and you have to make
friends with that. You are about absolutely going to have
challenges time and time again. There's no way to get
to success without either of those two things. But you
do not have to shed all of your confidence on
(16:57):
the journey. You can have your confidence intact and you
can continue forward bravely. You can have fear sit next
to you and take that step forward bravely. Anyway, let
us show you how to do that because we do
it every day. It may not look like it on
social media, but we do things scared all the time,
and you can too, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Julian Jarvis here with z girls, and I do want
to get into the event that you have coming up.
But that just reminded me of something I don't know
if I shared with you my little bracelet that I
wear every day.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
It was two years ago. My dad at Christmas gave
it to me.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
It's Morse code for zero bleeps given, and he goes,
you give this is on Christmas Eve, gives it to
me and said you give too many bleeps. He gave
it to my sister and sister in law too.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Andy. He's a football coach and he's like, you care
too much.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
But it was I accepted that message though, because that's
what he was saying, is that you're amazing. Why are
you giving so many bleeps about stuff that doesn't matter?
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Is that other people's opinions?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I think just anxiety about you know, my performance.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
I really got good at not paying attention to other
people's opinions because I noticed that ninety seven percent of
them are positive. Yeah, but the three percent is what
we pay attention to, right, And so I backed to
have social media just because.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
I only put facts out there.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I used to share my life a lot, and you know,
just you know, when someone is like, oh, she's fatter
than I thought, she was, like, well, you don't know me,
and also I'm beautiful, so go away totally. So I
don't need to see that. And I don't like blocking
people because that gives them the attention that they got
to me. And you know, so I just I backed
(18:42):
off that and that helped. And I think that this
next generation, I don't know, if you feel this way,
that social media is not going.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
To be that cool. I hope so, I really hope
so too.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I'm okay, I know a lot of my job in
this business is tied to social media. I hope the
next generation doesn't have to experience it.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
I have so too.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
And I think we're learning enough nowadays about how toxic
and how you know, difficult it could be on your
mind and your mental health. It's not good, it's consuming,
it's addicting. They have scientists that are much smarter than us.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Oh, the founders of those companies have did a documentary
saying it totally.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
They decided that they are using the same technology as
slot machines to make you addicted to social media. It's
excruciating to learn about and now we know why we
just you know, get sucked into it.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
But I think we know enough now to combat it.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
I agree, and I hope you are right that this
next generation says puts down their phones and says we
don't either.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Well, I'm hoping that I'm like the aunt. You know,
I have a niece and nephew they're ten and eight.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I hope.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I hope that they're like, oh, only old people do that.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
I could be the example about what's not I'm with that.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
I will be the old person that is not cool
if you stop musing.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yes, yeah, I think it all starts out with wanting
to communicate with each other, right totally. Facebook was around
our first thing and you're like, oh, I want to
see what my friends are up to, and then as
that evolved, it turned into well I'm connected to my
family on here and I live across the coast from
my entire family, so oh, now they can see what
(20:16):
I'm doing and it seems nice and then you get
you know, I've had a unfortunately, when you're a public
facing figure, you know, I had some stalking issues that
you know obviously arise through the use of social media
and people could find things out. I didn't like that
it has so many avenues of being bad. I like
(20:37):
to share things with people, and I did that for
a while before Twitter became a cesspool. And this is
years ago where I took a walk with my dog
this morning before work. I like to share that with
people because there's so much positivity before I think it's
gonna eat itself.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, and you know what I'm seeing that's a good
trend is vulnerability and honesty about struggles.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Agree.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
I'm loving the influencers right now that are saying, hey,
I got up this morning and I was getting dressed.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I thought twice about what I was wearing. But you
know when I'm wearing this and they like.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Pinch their side, you know, to show that like what
body fat really should look like, or you know, they're
talking about the insecurities that they have or how something
didn't go well.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Show me the struggle, show me the downfall, show me
the things that we're all experiencing day and day out.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Like that's the good side. But it's rare. It does not.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Happen very often. And yeah, I mean the trolling and
everything like that, it's horrible.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
It's gonna be there. Yeah. I call everyone, whether they're
real or not, just about Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Like, if I see negativity, it's my own little like
mental note where I'm like, that's about that's not a
real person. Yeah, and if they are, I'm sad for
them totally. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Again.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Juliane Jarvis joining me from Sea Girls here. iHeartRadio. You're
listening to Seattle Voice across all of our stations today
and Jiline, I wanted to talk to you about this
event that you have coming up and just you.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
I'll let you talk because I like your voice better
than Minel. Well, we have an event coming up.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
It's at Rough and Tumble Pub in Ballard and it's
really the kickoff of our end of year campaign called
Closing the Confidence Gap.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
And this is a sneak peak.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
The actual campaign kicks off November nineteenth in a couple
of weeks and so we're so excited for that and
anyone is welcome. It's a free event, an incredible space.
If you haven't been to Rough and Tumble, you have
to go. And we're going to be talking about, Yeah,
what it means to close the confidence gap, and what
this means for girls, what it means for women, and
what it means for our future in leadership, and what
(22:40):
happens when girls step into their confidence and don't let
it fall and decline in middle school.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, it's crazy because I can go through my own
life and just know that that is the exact age
when I started to question you know, a lot of confidence. Yeah,
it was around like eleven twelve for me. That's when
I really got into sports. So that helped because I
found a different community and everything.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
But we could run free and.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Play in a sprinkler and not worry about what we're
wearing and drink.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Out of a hose and school was exciting.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, you know, you wanted to see your friends, you
wanted to be happy and have this community and it once.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I'm going to ask you this question.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And I know neither of us are doctors or anything,
but we go through puberty earlier. Yeah, then guys, do
and do you think just your own experience, my own experience, does.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
That play a role in all the things that are
happening in your brain? And yeah, hormones, Yeah, I mean,
I I'll speak for myself personally. I think I struggled
the most right around sixteen.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
And if you had, if you had met me at
that age, you wouldn't have known.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
You wouldn't have known that I had a confidence problem
because I was extroverted and I was very good at
my sport, and so you know, people look, oh, she's
got the recipe to be confident, and I didn't. I
struggled so much, And that was about when I was
in puberty, you know. And you know, perhaps it was hormonal,
but I think a lot of it was just your
mind is invisible, and I didn't know who to talk
(24:12):
to about the fact that I felt alone surrounded by people.
I had people around me all the time, and I
just felt so confused. And you know, the thoughts that
I had was You're not enough, you can't do it.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Who do you think you are? Everybody has those thoughts.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yes, I didn't know that, and so now you know,
we're hoping to change that into hoping to help girls.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Recognize much much younger, there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
With you and open the line of communication. You can't
talk to any girls about that, yes, and.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
They're gonna say me too. Yeah, I feel that same way.
Thank you for being honest with me. Yeah, I still
remember mine.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I was younger when I started developing, when I went
through puberty, right, and sorry if that's too much for
you guys out there, but deal with it. I was twelve, yeah,
or eleven actually, and then I got a lot of
it tension from young men, which was very uncomfortable with.
And when I went to junior high, we did seventh
and eighth grade in New York, so you go from
(25:09):
elementary school to junior high and then you know, everyone's
kind of going through different phases. So some of them
are kind of getting to young men age, and some
of the boys were waiting for their growth spurt.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
All of us girls were dealing with stuff.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
And I remember being in seventh grade getting what I
wouldn't consider harassed, but followed around by boys who were
a year older than me and the girls who are
a year older.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That feels like five years older.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
When you're that age, it's intimidating and stuff really didn't
like me. Yeah, and I did nothing. I was so
uncomfortable with it. I didn't engage, I didn't talk to them.
I just kind of quietly held my books and went away.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
I couldn't.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
I went to the library, and like a public library,
not the school library, went to my hometown library. I
followed in there by sixteen year olds. They had driven
and saw me walking down the street from my parents'
house and followed me in there and tried to talk
to me. And I was kind of terrified. They're not
doing anything to me, but I was mortified, more mortified
(26:15):
than terrified, where I'm just like, God, I don't know
what to do.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
And I just sat there quietly and studied and ignored them.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
That crushed me in that, and then the girls didn't
like me because of that.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
There's nothing you can do to fit in. No, You're like,
I can't change my body. I don't know what to
do with this. And it's so I'm so glad you
shared that, because thanks, I have really talked about that
ever totally, and your experience is so similar to every
girl that goes through that at that age. And I
wish that we had known each other at that age
and have been able to talk because I wanted to
(26:48):
be you. If we had met at that age, I
would have looked at you and said, all I want
is to go through puberty. I used to stuff my
bra because I wanted breasts. Oh, you're not alone, and
so I wanted to be the one that looked older
and you wanted to not go through it.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
It's like I just didn't want the attention, and I
wanted the attention. It's so but it's it's so interesting
to hear that each of us has that story, each
of us has that experience that is rooted in what
do I do?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I just you know, where do I fit in? How
do I be myself? I just want to be accepted,
that's all.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
I don't want to belong. I want to belong with
my peers. I want to be loved for who I am.
And you can't change the fact that you went through puberty.
You can't change what's going on with your body. So
thanks for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Thank you for understanding what I was, you know, doing
like we're all different people too, and the comfort level
you know that I'm not in an age I could
talk to my parents about it. I knew how much
of the girls didn't like it, so I couldn't talk
to friends about it because I thought maybe I'd put
my friends in the same headspace as these older girls
who were like, who is this fresh meat in here?
(28:01):
Oh my god, I just play basketball.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Man, totally, Just hold me that ball, give me a jersey.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
We both had different experiences too, even though we both
were different, because everyone should know that someone else there relates,
someone out there relates to everything.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
This has been so cathartic for me. But I want
to know.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Also, if people want to get involved in Z Girls
learn More, how can they do?
Speaker 3 (28:24):
So go to z girls dot org And if if
you want to get involved, please do check us out.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
We are fully funded by our community, so our.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Programs are free, and so we ask our community to
join us and making this possible.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
And the need is massive.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
There is such a need right now to bring this
to so so many girls, and we will do everything
in our power to keep doing that. I love getting
to do this work because I need it too. So yeah,
check us out. If you have a middle school girl,
sign her up for a program. We'd love to meet her,
love or have her in there love to give her
these tools because everybody needs them.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
I agree again Jelene Jarvis with the Z girls here
with me, and once again, just in case people missed earlier.
I know people can be busy on the weekend while
they're listening to this show. How can they find more
information about your Rough and Tumble event?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Go to zegos dot org the get involved.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
There's a link right there to register and show up
or to show up just come, just come, And what
time does that get kicked off?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Six pm?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Well, thank you so much. It's such a joy to
see you and both Sydney. Thank you for making this
happen because we had a great conversation when she first
reached out and I was like, I need to meet
both of you in person, and I love this continue
following all the work that you do, and I just
wish you the best of luck.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
It's gonna be so awesome. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
You've been listening to Seattle Voice. This is Jessman McIntyre.
You're also Seattle Voice, presented by iHeartMedia dot com. Remember
if you want your voice heard, just email Seattle Voice
at iHeartMedia dot com We'll talk to you next week.
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