January 29, 2026 • 41 mins
On this week's therapy session: Danielle updates us on her foot surgery and how she's scootin' around. In Astra's world - actions speak louder than words, and they leave her a bit confused. Wendy's January had her entire world come crashing down, and she's ready for a 2026 kick-off redo.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh that can't me cocktails woo. I'm Wendy, I'm Astra, and.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm Danielle and we are tails over cocktails.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
The stories are real, the laughs are loud, and there's
always something to sit on.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Hey, how you doing. It's a weekly mix of absolute chaos,
cocktails and way too honest conversations. Pull up a chair
and for something. It's about to get fun. Whoa, all right, guys,
I see that we all have water bottles for me
(00:39):
because I am constantly dehydrated.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And you should be the one with the water bottle
right now. I know here. If I could pass it
to you, I would.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm not kidding up. We'll have to wait the thirty minutes.
I'll be fine. Oh boy, So how is everybody. It's
been a little while. I think the last episode we did.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Was before the holiday that came a couple of weeks.
It was probably it was about, yeah, about two to
three weeks ago.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I'd say it feels like forever ago.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
It was about three. It was definitely three.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
The month of January has been so rough it's not
even over yet.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
It's been going on forever. I know.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
It's the longest month of the year.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
You're so close, daniel Yeah, you're so close to your
mic Yeah, Danielle forgot her microphone in storage because she
moved yep, and so now she's not You're on one
of those like Apple like actually the head but you're
using like the microphone part of it.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Sorry, okay, because you can lift it up a little bit.
But you took your hair out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
there you go. How do I look?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Now?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That's perfect? I know we should we should let everybody
know that we aren't in the studio together right now.
We actually decided to, uh to do a little episode
from our homes.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yes, actually, you're the only one that's not in rough shape.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I mean and maybe mentally not in good shape, but
like but physically, yeah, I'm the only one that's physically
in great shape. Right now, we got to talk about
you guys. What's going on? Oh boy, who do we
start with? Daniel? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Well, I had foot surgery last Tuesday on the twentieth,
so whenever that Tuesday was last week?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, what did you have done? Because you've been sending
us some pictures of your photos.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Oh, I signed up for feet find dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
With those little antennas hanging out of your toes. There
is a place for everybody, Yeah, there is.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
You be surprised.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
How make so far?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh I haven't even you have to pay to be
on it.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
It's like, wait, I can we repine for a second,
because I've actually been really intrigued by these graphic photos. Oh,
I like weird medical shit. So can you explain exactly
what you what you had done and why?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Okay, So I started dancing at a very.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Young age, and so you know, always dancing blah blah blah,
danced for a football team, worked at the Mets. I
was always like running around and weird shoes. And at
some point when I worked for ESPN Radio, I was
in heels a lot for our events, and standing up
(03:26):
on my feet for like twelve hours at a time
in heels was horrendous. So my feet started, well, my
toes started to get like scrunched, and then one of
my toes became like it's not a bad hammer toe,
but it was becoming a hammer toe. It goes like this,
(03:50):
yeah it looks like a hammer so uh yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I mean it.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It was just annoying and like I just hated it
and it would bother me and my my other toes
weren't as straight as they should have been because of
all the belly And yeah, so I got my toes fixed.
I have three wires in my second, third, and fourth toe,
and then my pinky toe.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I have a.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Bunch of stitches.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Well, I have stitches, and all of them except the
big toe.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
And so in two weeks from this.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Past Tuesday, I'll have my stitches removed, and then in
five weeks I'll have the wires removed, and then in
six weeks I'll be able to go back to work.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Oh wow, So how are you getting around now?
Speaker 4 (04:38):
I have you How do you get to the kitchens?
You make yourself some food?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
I have a scooter.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Do you have a horn on it?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
No, but I need to buy one. I have a
cup holder on it.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Though you actually left your apartment.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Oh yeah, I take the scooter and I go around
the house.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Okay, so we just had a major snowstorm. How are
you taking the scooter out in the snow.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I'm not going outside, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Just making sure.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
So you're like going around your building?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yeah, inside the building.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
She's getting exercise for one leg mate?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah wait until yeah, I'm like, oh, my hip herds.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So does this mean you're going to have to do
the other foot two?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah, I have to do that.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
So April seventh they have tentatively held for me to
get the right foot done.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Oh gosh, that's going to be another like six weeks
laid up with that. Fine.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah, So my idea is to come back to work
for a few weeks and then.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I mean you were able to do your job mostly
from home. Yeah, except for the artist stuff that you do.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, except for wrangling them. And then I just have to.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Be better before Memorial Day because that's when everything starts
kicking off for yeah, like our jump Start to Summer
event for Zo one hundred, and then it just it's
everything after that, you know.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
So it's fine, but it's healing, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Or yeah, the doctor said, my toes look fabulous.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Fabulous toes we've seen them.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Mm.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
You better start selling those tootsies for some Monday.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
You know, you never know how much money you can make.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Wait, here's the question. Did you shave your big toe
before your search?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
So?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I used to shave my toe before going on a date.
Come on, everybody shaves their big toes.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I always shave my toes, but I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
But oh god, I hate hair anywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Like I actually had gotten my lasered a while back.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
That never lasts forever.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Honestly, I haven't seen any hair pop up. And it
might be like one random strand and I'll just like
pluck it out or maybe shave it. But like, it's
not like a hairy toe. I'm just thinking about somebody being.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
So close to my feet.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I would like, oh, I hate feet. Nobody trying to
tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
When I saw doctor Brad our friend doctor Brad.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yes, so I went for a couple.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Of years ago, I went for consultation on my toes
and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I mean he's so hot.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
He's gay, but like he's so hot, and I'm like,
I'm like, oh my god, i gotta show this hot
ass doctor my feet.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
It does, and you know why, you probably have the
cutest feet compared to all the other patients, like you know,
like you, he's probably seen some things.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, and smelled some things too.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Gosh, that's why I only let the nail salon touch
my feet. I will not let any guy ever touch
my feet. I don't care who you are, never ever
ever a man.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
You only go to the to the nail salon and
get your feet touched.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yes, that's the only time.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
You don't have a man there that does your feet
at the nail salon.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
No, it's always the women. The only man, okay, the
only man that gets to touch my feet. I get
a massage at the massage parlor. Then he touches my feet.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
But that's it, Astro, what's going on with that? Francois?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Oh are we allowed to ask Francois?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Is he here?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
No, he's not here. No, he's not here. The only
person that's here with me is Nyla.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Hi, Nyla.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You want to see. Here's Nyla. Here she is. Oh,
she's sitting in her shirt, says I am perfect.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Oh she is.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
She truly is so uh, I don't know. Let's just
say that he's been saying and doing a lot of
the right things. And he was initially being consistent. He
was like validating my feelings. He was like taking accountability
when I would express my needs because you know, we've
hung out like five times already in the past like
month and a half. But then recently there was a shift. Shifts. Yeah,
(08:52):
he shifted and kind of pulled to Houdini and disappeared
on me. What, yes, like, I feel like I disappeared,
ghosted almost.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
What I think because he went back to France had
something to do with this.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I don't think so, because I saw him when he
came back, So I don't think it had anything to
do with it.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I think it had anything to do with the conversations
getting a little bit more than surface level. You know.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I don't think that our conversations have actually really gotten
past surface level, like I've tried. But I feel like
he's he's guarded, if that makes sense, you know. I
feel like he's I don't feel like he wants to
be vulnerable, which you know that's tough for all of us.
I mean, I'm gonna be honest with you, like you know,
when you first meet somebody, of course you're not going
(09:40):
to just open up right away. And I get that,
But like we were talking every day, you know, facetiming, texting, calling,
so like for there to be a shift, I decided
to get a little vulnerable, and I actually mentioned that
I feel like there's a shift and things have been inconsistent,
and that consistency kind of matters to me, and you know,
this isn't a good time to date with intentions and
(10:02):
be honest. And I sent that to him as a
text because we had gone a couple of days without talking,
and like, to me, if you're going every day with
talking and then all of a sudden you just stop,
that's kind of like it makes you get in your
own head where you're like, what happened?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Like, okay, so you gave him a really easy out
I did.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
What was his response to all that? So basically I
was okay. So I was hoping it could go a
few ways. Either he could a just like not respond
because no response is a response, or he could say,
you know, I'm not in the right headspace right now
to be dating. But he responded. He claims that you
(10:41):
know he wants to get to know me with intentions,
because I had said, listen, I'm looking to date with
intention so it's like, if you're not, just let me know.
So he was like, you know, I want to I
want to keep building out a pace that feels good
for the both of us. And in my head, I'm like, well,
what pace is that? The pace of an escargo? Because
everything's been going perfectly fine. So I don't know like
(11:04):
the right and wrong way of dating. But to me,
if you're into somebody, you want to see them at
least like once or twice a week. You want to
check in daily at least once or twice, right, I mean, listen,
maybe I'm used to the people that text and call
each other all day long, and I get it. Maybe
that's not healthy. I mean, if people consider that love bombing,
I don't know. That's something that I've always been used to,
(11:25):
like in all relationships, always like texting throughout the day,
reaching out, being like, hey, how's your day going, Hey,
just checking in, just thinking about you whatever. So it's like,
you know, ever since so ever since I addressed this
and he wrote me back with his whole like he
wants you know, he's interested in also having these intentions,
he's now gone radio silent again.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
So I think everybody's a little different. It varies person
to person how much people are involved with their phone
and texting and whatnot. But you flat out expressed your
needs and said, hey, listen, I'm dating with intention and
I value consistency.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Right, and communication and just communication and reassurance right.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
And his response was great, the words seemed like they aligned.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right, and but the actions are not there. So I'm
not trying to diagnose him, but based off this behavior,
I feel like he's either like a emotionally unavailable or
B he's got an avoidant attachment style because I feel
like I feel like he's pulling back. Maybe he was
starting to like me again, I don't know. I can't
(12:33):
speak on his behalf, but like, from what I'm looking at,
I mean, you're not going to hang out with somebody
that you're not interested in, at least I won't. I'm
not going to waste my time.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Maybe once it gets to a certain level of intimacy.
And I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
About right depth, depth of a conversation, right, And I
mean all of a sudden, an avoidant would be scared away, right.
I mean I was starting to think, you know, maybe
a relationship in his past might have left him hurt
and scorned. Maybe he was starting to catch feelings and
maybe he's s this leaning towards something more serious and
that might have triggered him so might have pulled away.
I mean, again, these are the things that like go
(13:05):
through a person's mind when.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Or you're just busy or he's just busy.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I want to know something. As they say, you're never
too busy. Everyone has the same twenty four hours in
a day. You're never too busy to actually reach out
to someone. It takes five secons to be like, hey, listen,
I have a really busy day. Can I talk to
you tonight? That's it. I'm not saying you need to
spend an.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Hour with the response that he gave you because you
gave him such an easy out. He could have just
been like, yeah, you know what, I'm glad you reached out.
It's you know, I really have enjoyed getting to know you.
But I just don't have the time like he could
have been as he could have.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
And it's like, maybe he doesn't want to like hurt
my feelings, but I would rather someone just be honest
instead of being like no, like taking accountability like I
said he did, where he's just like, you know what,
it's my fault, Like you know, I do wanna, I
do want to date with intention. I do that, you know,
I'm so to me. I'm just like, but if that's
the case, then how come I haven't heard from you again?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Billion dollar question? Is he still checking your story?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
He is, I.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Am, and guess what he's gonna hear this episode?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
So waited to text her listening to a thirty minute episode.
I hate to tell you.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
But exactly exactly. I mean, listen, we've all been hurt,
you know, we've been scoring from our past and stuff,
but like that should not define our future. And again,
if he's looking at his past as like, oh my gosh,
you know, I'm feeling feelings that I've had in the past,
and like I've been burned before, Like we've all been burned,
We've all gone like I've been in deep dark places too.
But like, how are you gonna move on and try
(14:34):
to be happy with somebody if you can't at least
just let your guard down a little bit. And again,
it's hard for me. I you know me, I don't date.
I don't date at all, So this kind of stings.
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Oh, I see why you don't, because if it gets
you this worked up because of the unknown and where
you stand, who wants that shit? It's just it's too much.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, So I'm I feel like I'm just gonna go
back in my little bubble retreat. Not open my heart
again because I just I don't know. I mean again,
he could just be busy, but bussy but too okay,
but but too busy he posts on his Instagram stories.
You know, he definitely has time to do whatever he's doing. So,
like I said, you could be taking a pooh and
(15:15):
text somebody.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
That's usually when I send you.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Messages, you know. But like but for me, like I'm
that hopeless romantic type, so like I try to stay hopeful,
but at the same time, it's like I'm feeling confused
at this point because it's like I just don't have
an answer, and I want a guy that's gonna be
into me. He's gonna show me that on priority. He's
gonna be emotionally available, he's gonna be transparent, you know.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Like it's hard for me to hope that the guys
are lined up to take you out. It's just that
you are so freaking picky.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Right, and I don't And that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I can't that you have your pick of any guy.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, but all the guys that want to hang out
with me are not you know. It is like they
always say, like, like the type that I like doesn't
like me. Back. So that's kind of how these guys are.
They're like I like you where you don't like me back,
Like I'm sorry, like I don't. I'm super picky because
I know what I'm looking for and like this guy,
and I hate to say it, like like piqued my interest,
so that's why I gave it an opportunity and a chance.
(16:11):
But like to be going radio silent now and leaving
me to wonder, like what the heck happened? And I
know I didn't do anything. It makes me question like
was he actually really interested or not?
Speaker 4 (16:21):
So a question would you ever consider broadening your search?
I don't want who would treat you the way that
you want to be treated.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I have been single for seven years now, and I
don't like after this of me just literally like opening
myself up again and trying and actually liking someone, I
don't want to like anyone anymore now, Like I kind
of wanted to retreat back into my little hole and
just everybody leave me the fuck alone.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Okay, That's where I'm at, you know, and.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It sucks because it's like I love love, you know,
I want to just be happy and like, listen, I'm
not saying I'm gonna marry the guy. Like that wasn't like, oh,
I mean, like, I meet you high, nice meta, let's
get married. No oh, but like I actually wanted to
see where this would go. And for him to pull
back the way he did and for me to not
have any clarity right now is like it's really like
(17:11):
eating at me.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
I find and this is not to generalize everyone, you know,
put everyone into the same group, but a lot of
men in this generation they are not exactly emotionally mature.
I don't know that. I don't know where they learn
how to be emotionally mature and regulated. But I find
(17:33):
that they all have something little something, something that's gonna
eat away.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But you know what though, But that's where you lean
on your partner to try to be like, listen, this
is what bothers me or whatever, and like you can
work together through it. You can't do that far.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
It's so hard to even get that far, yeah, where
you're even in a serious relationship, because a lot of
these guys are like they see pretty girl on the
internet and then they meet up and it's really fun
and things are going well, but then all of a sudden,
the questions get a little bit deeper and they're like poof.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And that was the thing, like I was trying to
just tiptoe. I wasn't even trying to dig into deep
questions right away because again, I am not a dater.
The way my life has always been is I meet
a guy and we just end up being together. Like
because to me, if I meet you and I like you,
I'm gonna hang out with you again. If I don't
like you the first one I meet you, that's it.
So it's a one and done, like I'm not gonna
(18:21):
hang out with you. So for me, it's like all
my relationships have always just kind of morphed into a relationship.
There was never a let me ask you to be
my girlfriend, Like it's just yeah, it's just more like
it's just more like you guys are hanging out so
much that like all right, clearly they're not with anybody else,
so like we're just together. Yeah, you know, me will too,
(18:42):
right there. I don't know what this whole dating thing is.
And that's why when you know, I know, Wendy, you're
all about like, don't put your eggs in one basket.
You should be out there, you know, having a bunch
of people.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I can't saying this for your mental health. See, that's
the thing is you are open to love you you,
I think, deep down really want it.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I do want it.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
And if that's the case, I feel like setting yourself
up for disappointment because you know, just look at the
statistics here, look at how most of these guys pan out,
because if they if it wasn't this way, you would
be in a committed relationship with someone.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So nobody, nobody stands up to the like the level
of guy that I want, you know what I'm saying.
So for me to have given this guy that chance,
but there was huge for me.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
There's a B and C. And I'm not saying to
get serious with everyone, but I'm just saying, if one
of the max out of line where you ask them
to you know what their intentions are and say that
showing up is a value of yours and they don't,
you are still getting to know B and C. And
you're not. Your mind isn't doing the squirrel thing.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
But I kind of get that intention question in the beginning,
Like I get that out of the way because it's like, again,
if I meet you, clearly like you're either looking to
build something, or you're just looking to hook up. So
if you're looking to hook you're out. If you're looking
to build something and you're you know, not talking to
other people, then like I want to explore that and
(20:09):
just kind of see where it goes. Let's see if
we click. You know, we may not click, and you
know what, maybe he maybe he didn't click with me
and I thought I clicked with it, you know what
I'm saying, Like, I don't know, I.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Might not know.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Also, what here's like just playing Devil's Advocate. What if
what if he thought he was dating with intention? What
if he thinks he wants a relationship. What if he
you know, but he, for whatever unexplained reason, is scared
of something.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
So then why can't you just talk about that? Just
be like listen, you know, I've gone through messed up
things in the past, like I said, we all have.
So it's like I'm not trying to be a fixer.
Like that's always been my problem in relationships. I'm always
the fixer, and I don't want to have to baby
someone and fix them. I don't mind trying to help
them get through their shit.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
But like at the side, of that role usually fall
to the woman.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Because we're the nurturers.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
We are sure why why is that? Because we have
our own mental health to deal with.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
We do, And you know what, here's the crazy part.
So and I I know I mentioned this to you
guys though, but it's like, so for seven years I've
been single and now dating this guy has like resurfaced
like this anxiety in me because I'm being left like
to wonder and I'm just like I thought, I did
all this work on myself all this year.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Stop dating. But you know what's okay? When and one
of my has anxiety, we know that, like something is
really wrong.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Because I don't have anxiety, but you want to know something.
One of my friends made a good point. She was like,
it's because you've suppressed it and you haven't been dating,
and now this has resurfaced things that you thought you
worked on. And I'm just like, wow, maybe I maybe
I do need to talk to someone. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
I got therapy is awesome. I love therapy me too.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I just want I just love love. I just want
to be fucking happy, Like Jesus.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
You are very what's the what's the term I'm looking
for your very self aware. I think that I think
you would love therapy because it would really just give
you a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk
to you just bounce ideas off of, and they would
tell you that you're doing the right things.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It's just like I'm doing the right things with the
wrong results. I mean, listen, I know, when do you
get a chance to like, quote unquote meet him? But
Danielle did, she got to see him on FaceTime.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
From what you told me, he didn't seem like the
kind of guy that was a love bomber and a ghost. No,
I didn't get that from all of the things you said.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I didn't seem mature.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
So and also the response kind of are we sure
he's okay? Do we not do a wellness check? Because
because the response was weird, it seems like he.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Was told like like he's so into me and that
he wants to like build on something. But yet, like
I said, actions over words, because it's like that's why
I'm like, well then why would you say that? But
yet now still not talk to me?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
So from here, what do we do? What do you do?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
That's a good question. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I think at this point, how long has it been
with the radio silence.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
It's just been a couple of days. It's only been
like four days now.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
But still, this is after you said that you value
someone showing up and checking in.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Right, and I think at this point and he acknowledged that,
and yet is not following up on the reassurance that
I'm looking for.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
I think at this point, if he does, you can
just tell him.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Listen.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
I really put it all on the table and told
you what I'm looking for, and I just don't think
that it's it's a fit.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
What do you have to lose?
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Well, she keeps bussing over this one person, you know,
maybe B and C. She's missing out an opportunity to
get to know them.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Listen, there's no opportunity is knocking at my door. Trust
me that.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
I think it's time to take your very narrow search
and just widen it a little bit, maybe allow one
thing that you wouldn't normally, and you might be surprised.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Listen, you look at the roster of guys I've dated
in the past, the boyfriends I've had. I have widened
my my roster of like qualifications. I'm not gonna say
I've settled, but basically I've settled. So it's like I've
given the underdog a chance and I still end up
with the same result. So why can't I be picky
and pick what it is that I really want.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
I have a theory, and I think that all of
us can relate to this. I think that in every
relationship there's the giver and then the taker. Ideally, in
a perfect relationship, you would have everybody doing fifty to fifty, right,
like you give and you take. But I feel as though,
for whatever reason, all of us have always attracted the takers, right,
(24:49):
and you are so willing to give, but it makes
you a target for this sort of thing to happen.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Trust your wish to take.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
You're like too available, too willing to bend.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Over backwards to accommodate and make somebody happy because you
know what, Like I like to see other people happy,
So if there's something they want to do, I'm like, oh,
I'll make that happen. Maybe it's time to stop.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Maybe don't.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
But then I feel like I'm not contributing. It's weird,
you know.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Well, what are people? What are people contributing to your life?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Stress? Why don't we ask our tailies because I would
love to hear from the talies. You know what, I
want to know from the tailies, what they think I
should do. Like because again, listen, he's not a bad guy.
I don't have an issue with him. I'm just right now.
I have an issue with the fact that I feel
like I've been ghosted and it's not like anything happened,
(25:41):
you know, like at least if there was a little
bit of an argument or a fight, then I would
understand that one hundred percent. Because personally, if something were
to happen in the beginning of dating someone and it
doesn't feel right with me, like a fight of some sort,
I'm walking really quick because it's only going to get worse.
But everything has been perfection, at least in my eyes.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
I guess the big the question mark is giving all
the anxiety.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'm only getting the anxiety because I'm not getting the
proper communication that I require.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
So after, how does it feel to have anxiety? You know,
I'm in a constant state of anxiety. My anxiety doesn't
go away.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
I don't like this.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
I don't trying to sleep when I'm trying to eat,
when I'm like this, when I'm trying to do everything
and you don't like it when it's hitting you for
five seconds five seconds.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
It's been hitting me now for like for like almost
two weeks. I just I can't take it, Like it
literally is making my head just play all these things
like what was it? Was it something I said? Was
it something I did? And I'm putting the blame on myself,
which is there is should be no blame why I
didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
And my I had a former therapist. She was this
really older woman who had one tooth. She was so cute,
just like one little tooth on the bottom, and she
used to call it the squirrelies or the swirlies. Oh,
And I was like, oh, like when you think of
it as something cute like that, it is because you're spiraling.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
You're are you swirling out of control? Like it's it's
wild that like the And then then what makes everything
worse is scrolling on Instagram and TikTok and all these damn.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
Video still eight hours a day on there, like that
can't be good for anybody.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
It's like the things that you know, the videos I'm watching,
and I'm like, yes, yes, that does remind me of
this yes, that is this and the quotes i'm reading.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Yes, you have messed up my algorithm too. Thank you.
I know I'm getting these weird gangious avoidant attachment. I'm like,
where are my cat videos?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I'm sorry, guys, but thank you for my little therapy session.
Let's move on to you though, now, Wendy, because I
don't want to. I don't want to start spiraling. But yeah,
I mean, I guess to be continued.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Or we're so negative this pod, and I don't mean
to be, but I will say that things before you
start feeling really bad for me. Things are definitely on
the upswing. I hope. I'm afraid. I'm like afraid to
jinx anything. But this month of January has been so horrific.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
You you mesk for like two weeks.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
What happened? I didn't well, okay, So I ended up
taking a like a kind of a forced vacation because
I was so ill. So I came home on January ninth.
It was a Friday, and I noticed like Allie had
thrown up everywhere, and he's not a thrower upper. So
I'm like, okay, buddy, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I went upstairs. I want to go check on me.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
They didn't feel well, so immediately I took him to
the er and it's a really good ar. It has
great reviews for cats. I mean, when dogs throw up
all the time, but with cats, like they can get
into something, it can be an obstruction. I just wanted
to be sure. So they treat him, and the very
next day he is sick again, so I call them
(28:39):
in a panic. They're like, you know, just bring him back.
I think we need to do a better sonogram. Meanwhile,
I'm not feeling great myself because I know we've talked
about this on previous pods. I suffer from fibromyalgia and
I have a slew of symptoms from body eggs, fashi
of pain, joint aggs, and my very nervous stomach. We'll
(29:00):
just leave it there. So I'm trying to manage taking
him back to the er while I'm literally shitting myself.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Oh my gosh. So it's like you're falling apart. He's
falling apart, going to blow.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Up this bathroom at the er, and I hope I
don't embarrass myself.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
At least you're in the er though maybe not your
r but somebody's.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
In a health bring it back. I'm so nervous for
he's like really not doing great. And meanwhile they're kind
of pumping him full of all these different pain meds
and anti nausea and all sorts of stuff and sedation.
And so the test comes back clean, the blood test
comes back good. They're like, well, you know, he probably
just had an upset stomach. We'll send you home with
(29:39):
even more meds. I bring him back and this happens
two more times, and every time he's progressively getting worse.
They repeat the sonogram. These things are expensive. Now I
do have pet health insurance, but you know you have
to wait for reimbursement. You have to put this money
up up front front, right And he now he's rolling
and then his face is huge, and I'm like, what
is going on? So four am, I'm desperate, and I Google.
(30:05):
I'm like, I can't. I can't bring him anymore. First off, dogs,
you know, with Nyla, she doesn't mind going on trips.
Cats don't like to go anywhere. It's really stressful for them,
and their little systems can't handle these things. So I
find this doctor, Elizabeth Cohen, who is a home bet
that's incredible, and she first off, I mean responds first
thing in the morning. I had text Yeah, you can
(30:27):
reach her all hours of the day. Now she's also famous.
Now I did not know this at the time, but
Bartel knew who she was because she used to have
a radio show on eight eighty Wow or she would
give pet tips. And she's got like a very famous family.
She has very famous clients who I will not mention. Okay,
like it's incredible, I'll tell you off Mike. But she, oh, yeah,
(30:50):
responsive is anything. And then she's like, you know, I
can come today. It's a good So she comes in,
she takes her shoes off, she goes upstairs, seas.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Him in the bed.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
She jumps into my bed with this emergency shot, which
is like he is having an allergic reaction to whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
They gave him.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
She had been reviewing his file that I sent. They
had given him nineteen different medications.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Meanwhile, I'm like, wow, uh one the er, the er
that he went to four times for all.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
He's not good. You're not supposed to be putting all
that stuff into an animal.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
And one of them, one of the things they gave
him is an antibiotic that stays it's one shot that
stays in your system for up to thirty days. The
main effects will last like fourteen days, so I can't
get it out of him. So his his face is
all swollen. So she gives the emergency shot. About an
hour later, he's like not dying anymore as he was dying.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Wait was she staying there the whole time too?
Speaker 4 (31:47):
She stayed for a for a while to make sure
he was stabilized. And then he got fluids, and she goes,
you are to cease all medications, everything, stop everything, and
we're only doing this emergency steroid and you're gonna start
him on steroids and that's it. And it's been such
a slow, slow process and for me too, I don't know.
(32:09):
You know. Then this cold came in which made my
flare up times one thousand d I know you haven't
been in the office because of your foot, but I'm
walking with a cane.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Now, Yeah, she's coming in with a cane.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Like usually I would use it to just get to
and from the train, but I can't like my legs.
The best way I can describe it is have you
ever had the painful pins and needles? Oh? Yes, you
know when you like you're sitting in a weird way
and then it like almost like hurts to move your legs. Yeap,
that is kind of the sensation. Oh that's so so
(32:42):
if you feel like you could buckle out. So I
have that going on.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
My stomach's been really bad.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
So I ended up. I talked to Bartell and he's like,
you have so much going on. He's like, take a vacation,
and then after that we can talk about work from
home because we have the snowstorm. So I actually worked
from home for Monday and Tuesday, and then I was like,
I need to come back.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
But Bartell is such an angel.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
He's an actual angel. Literally, the fact that he was
willing to say, you know what, take a vacation. I
will cover for you. I needed it more and I
never take vacations in January ever.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
And I know you were so miserable. You're like kicking
and screaming over it too.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
You're like, I don't want to but yeah, yeah, because
I was like, yeah it was.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
It was so hard.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
This is probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through,
even more so than doctor Nebraska's situation leaving the house
and everything. Wow, this was so hard because I'm trying
to keep this little boy alive. I have to give
him pills. They actually trained me with IVY injections, so
I was giving him, Yes, I was giving him IV
infusions at home. I was syringe beating him because he
couldn't eat because his mouth is up.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
How do you find a cat's vein?
Speaker 4 (33:50):
So this is actually subcutaneous fluid. So I'm only I'm
not licensed to do anything I've trained to only do
under the skin. I can't find a vein, gotcha?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Because I was like, how are we see?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
I wish you could do this with humans because I
feel like I could do some subcutaneous fluids, But I
think it's only for pets because they have that big
If you ever like grab a probably grab Nyla's like
back of her scruff. She probablys like a lot of
like jiggles there.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yeah, so they do it. It actually does hydrate them.
And yeah, so like only it was funny because I
was also doctor Elizabeth. She gosh, she's like she's another angel.
Like I love her so much. I would call her
every day crying and she would take my calls and
she's like, Wendy, this is going to be a slow process.
By the way, I don't think it was ever a
(34:35):
stomach ache that was wrong with him. Turns out my
cat is also immunocompromised, has an autoimmune and it wasn't
his stomach at all. It was his mouth. Yeah, he
had a flare up around his mouth that caused him.
You know, if please, if it if it tasted anything
like it smelled, oh, it would make me vomit too.
(34:55):
So the fact that they and he's not.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Good at the vet.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
He was great with her, but he he's not good
when you take him somewhere.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
He's good because he's home and he feels safe.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Yes, So they weren't able to really take a good
look in his mouth, and they were afraid of him
because he's a giant, little panther. So she believes that
he's always had this. It's called EGC eocyphals of some
of the granuloma complex. It can be triggered by you
ready for this stress dietary allergens. Sound familiar, Okay, sound familiar.
(35:33):
So basically me and me and my cat have these
matching autoimmunes.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
I mean, if this isn't the perfect cat for you,
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
I'm we just need to keep his stress levels down
and I need to look into lower allergen food, like
maybe single ingredients stuff. So but the thing is, his
vomiting episode probably would have cleared up on its own,
and the fact that I brought him to the yar
the guilt. I tell you, I really was trying to
do the best for him.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
But all while also being sick. Mind you, like.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Myself there, I could not believe it. I went through
so much of I can't even tell you how much
a moodium I have gone through. I'm completely out. I
went through an entire box over the last week and
a half. So he yeah, I mean, yeah, so it'll
have to be something that we manage from now on.
But whatever they did at the er really took his
(36:23):
already compromised immune system and put it into overdrive and
probably put mine into overdrive too. But he finally stopped drooling.
He does have these ulcers on his tongue still, but
he's able to eat on his own. I was like,
I was like syringe feeding him. So yeah, if you've
been wondering why I've been a hot mess.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Were literally falling apart.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
What is going on? Word with a storm too, because
you know, living in a house, you have to worry
about a lot of different things, Like I have to
call your mold people, by the way, because I'm like
pretty sure behind the walls of my basement there's like
some moisture.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
And that's what I'm thinking could have triggered all of this,
Like you might have mold in your house that you're
not aware of. I think there's something else, you know,
like I was saying, it could be something in your insulation,
it could be something in the pain.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
I mean, I believe something is in the basement. Whether
it's like a pressing issue, I don't know. I do
think that his issue was definitely made a thousand times
worse by the medication that we couldn't get out.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Of his system. And how's he feeling now?
Speaker 4 (37:20):
Though he seems he's really tired still because of the
pregdice a loan, but he's like out of immediate danger.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's it.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
That's my crazy, sad story.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
And how are you feeling.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I'm holding food down. And by the way, I just
did a door dash. I put it away minutes before
we logged on to do this. I got bone broth
actually made me a whole list of things that I needed.
I did eat so that I can actually.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Get some protein in you and to try to like
get your stomach back.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
In worthing seven or I lost eight pounds, I know,
eight since the ninth.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
I'm just like, Wow, I can't believe that. That's crazy. Yeah,
but you know what, but it's good because it's like
either you lose weight when you're sick, or you lose
weight for a breakup like that, like the time you
ever really lose this.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Wait, this really did feel I know it sounds dramatic,
but this really felt like my darkest hour. And I've
been through some shit. Like imagine closing on a house
when you think you're gonna be in on this whole
new journey with someone and then have them peace like
literally ghost ghosting dude, then for four and a half years.
But this was worse. This was worse.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
So what's with the ghosting epidemic? I think men nowadays
for Halloween need to be wearing damn sheets over their
head with eyeballs cut out because they're all freaking ghosted.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
We have enough of that ghost on right now.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Done with it. I'm done, dark, dark, dark, gosh, Well
hopefully we all uh, we all get a bet, we
all get better. For the next.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Episode, I was gonna say, February will be better. This
was the you know I we did. You see in
the prep it talked about January official leaping the worst
month ever. Researchers actually confirmed this, and I concur mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I concur too. I thought twenty twenty six, I was like,
this is gonna be my year. Everything feels great, and
now it's like crumbling down on all of us right now.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
No, no, no, I think we just you know, we needed
to get the rot out so that we could start fresh.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Ye, and the next eleven months are gonna be better.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
So February first, we're gonna say Happy New Year, Happy
New Year.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Next episode, get us out of get us out of here.
That's how I'm gonna do the darkest timeline.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yeah, that's what it is. January is just month thirteen
from twenty twenty five twenty twenty six, starts on February first.
Speaker 4 (39:31):
So listen, if I can just ask a favor of
all my tailies out there. Everyone listening, whether you're tuned
in for the first time or have been with us
for the last five years, if you all could just
think the most positive thoughts for Ali, because I feel
as though when he's feeling good, my mood improves and
then my health improves. Like it's so sad how attached
I am to him like that. But if you could
(39:53):
just keep those prayers and spells and whatever it is
you do coming, we would appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
Wendy and her attach issues.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Has a theme. He's my soulmate. He really is. Oh.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
He's He's my baby, He's my husband, I say. I
tell him all the time. I'm like, you're my husband,
You're my baby, You're my soulmate, You're my everything.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I love to marry my cat. Well, I'm happy that
I get to see Wendy now she's back in studio.
Can't wait for Danielle to get back into the studio
as well.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
I want to use your scooter? Can I use your
scooter when you're done with it? I might need it.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Yeah, it's cute. I got it from Walmot.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You got to bling it out?
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Oh my no, send me a link, yeah I will.
It's so way cooler than my cane. Let me tell you,
I feel like a thousand years old.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Oh my god, is this the joy And I'm like
the joys I'm getting old. Yeah, joys of getting old. Guys,
this is not cool.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Tail's over Grandma, tail tails over Jello jell. I love it.
With that said, let's give out our socials.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
All right, Well, I'm Astra on the air.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Oh, go ahead, I'm Wendy Wild Radio, and I'm Dan
Oh that can't me cocktails woo. I'm Wendy, I'm Astra, and.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I'm Danielle and we are tails over cocktails.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yea.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
The stories are real, the laughs are loud, and there's
always something to sit on.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Hey, how you doing. It's a weekly mix of absolute chaos,
cocktails and way too honest conversations. Pull up a chair
and for something. It's about to get fun. Whoa, all right, guys,
I see that we all have water bottles for me
(00:39):
because I am constantly dehydrated.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And you should be the one with the water bottle
right now. I know here. If I could pass it
to you, I would.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I'm not kidding up. We'll have to wait the thirty minutes.
I'll be fine. Oh boy, So how is everybody. It's
been a little while. I think the last episode we did.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Was before the holiday that came a couple of weeks.
It was probably it was about, yeah, about two to
three weeks ago.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
I'd say it feels like forever ago.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
It was about three. It was definitely three.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
The month of January has been so rough it's not
even over yet.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
It's been going on forever. I know.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
It's the longest month of the year.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
You're so close, daniel Yeah, you're so close to your
mic Yeah, Danielle forgot her microphone in storage because she
moved yep, and so now she's not You're on one
of those like Apple like actually the head but you're
using like the microphone part of it.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Sorry, okay, because you can lift it up a little bit.
But you took your hair out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
there you go. How do I look?
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Now?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
That's perfect? I know we should we should let everybody
know that we aren't in the studio together right now.
We actually decided to, uh to do a little episode
from our homes.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yes, actually, you're the only one that's not in rough shape.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I mean and maybe mentally not in good shape, but
like but physically, yeah, I'm the only one that's physically
in great shape. Right now, we got to talk about
you guys. What's going on? Oh boy, who do we
start with? Daniel? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Well, I had foot surgery last Tuesday on the twentieth,
so whenever that Tuesday was last week?
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yeah, what did you have done? Because you've been sending
us some pictures of your photos.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Oh, I signed up for feet find dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
With those little antennas hanging out of your toes. There
is a place for everybody, Yeah, there is.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
You be surprised.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
How make so far?
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh I haven't even you have to pay to be
on it.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
It's like, wait, I can we repine for a second,
because I've actually been really intrigued by these graphic photos. Oh,
I like weird medical shit. So can you explain exactly
what you what you had done and why?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Okay, So I started dancing at a very.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Young age, and so you know, always dancing blah blah blah,
danced for a football team, worked at the Mets. I
was always like running around and weird shoes. And at
some point when I worked for ESPN Radio, I was
in heels a lot for our events, and standing up
(03:26):
on my feet for like twelve hours at a time
in heels was horrendous. So my feet started, well, my
toes started to get like scrunched, and then one of
my toes became like it's not a bad hammer toe,
but it was becoming a hammer toe. It goes like this,
(03:50):
yeah it looks like a hammer so uh yeah, so.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I mean it.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It was just annoying and like I just hated it
and it would bother me and my my other toes
weren't as straight as they should have been because of
all the belly And yeah, so I got my toes fixed.
I have three wires in my second, third, and fourth toe,
and then my pinky toe.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I have a.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Bunch of stitches.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Well, I have stitches, and all of them except the
big toe.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
And so in two weeks from this.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Past Tuesday, I'll have my stitches removed, and then in
five weeks I'll have the wires removed, and then in
six weeks I'll be able to go back to work.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Oh wow, So how are you getting around now?
Speaker 4 (04:38):
I have you How do you get to the kitchens?
You make yourself some food?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
I have a scooter.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Do you have a horn on it?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
No, but I need to buy one. I have a
cup holder on it.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Though you actually left your apartment.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Oh yeah, I take the scooter and I go around
the house.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Okay, so we just had a major snowstorm. How are
you taking the scooter out in the snow.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I'm not going outside, okay.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Just making sure.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
So you're like going around your building?
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yeah, inside the building.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
She's getting exercise for one leg mate?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah wait until yeah, I'm like, oh, my hip herds.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So does this mean you're going to have to do
the other foot two?
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah, I have to do that.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
So April seventh they have tentatively held for me to
get the right foot done.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Oh gosh, that's going to be another like six weeks
laid up with that. Fine.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah, So my idea is to come back to work
for a few weeks and then.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I mean you were able to do your job mostly
from home. Yeah, except for the artist stuff that you do.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah, except for wrangling them. And then I just have to.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Be better before Memorial Day because that's when everything starts
kicking off for yeah, like our jump Start to Summer
event for Zo one hundred, and then it just it's
everything after that, you know.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
So it's fine, but it's healing, okay.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Or yeah, the doctor said, my toes look fabulous.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Fabulous toes we've seen them.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Mm.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
You better start selling those tootsies for some Monday.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
You know, you never know how much money you can make.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Wait, here's the question. Did you shave your big toe
before your search?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
So?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I used to shave my toe before going on a date.
Come on, everybody shaves their big toes.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I always shave my toes, but I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
But oh god, I hate hair anywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Like I actually had gotten my lasered a while back.
Speaker 4 (06:39):
That never lasts forever.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Honestly, I haven't seen any hair pop up. And it
might be like one random strand and I'll just like
pluck it out or maybe shave it. But like, it's
not like a hairy toe. I'm just thinking about somebody being.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
So close to my feet.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I would like, oh, I hate feet. Nobody trying to
tell you.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
When I saw doctor Brad our friend doctor Brad.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yes, so I went for a couple.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Of years ago, I went for consultation on my toes
and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I mean he's so hot.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
He's gay, but like he's so hot, and I'm like,
I'm like, oh my god, i gotta show this hot
ass doctor my feet.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
It does, and you know why, you probably have the
cutest feet compared to all the other patients, like you know,
like you, he's probably seen some things.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah, and smelled some things too.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Gosh, that's why I only let the nail salon touch
my feet. I will not let any guy ever touch
my feet. I don't care who you are, never ever
ever a man.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
You only go to the to the nail salon and
get your feet touched.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yes, that's the only time.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
You don't have a man there that does your feet
at the nail salon.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
No, it's always the women. The only man, okay, the
only man that gets to touch my feet. I get
a massage at the massage parlor. Then he touches my feet.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
But that's it, Astro, what's going on with that? Francois?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Oh are we allowed to ask Francois?
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Is he here?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
No, he's not here. No, he's not here. The only
person that's here with me is Nyla.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Hi, Nyla.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You want to see. Here's Nyla. Here she is. Oh,
she's sitting in her shirt, says I am perfect.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Oh she is.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
She truly is so uh, I don't know. Let's just
say that he's been saying and doing a lot of
the right things. And he was initially being consistent. He
was like validating my feelings. He was like taking accountability
when I would express my needs because you know, we've
hung out like five times already in the past like
month and a half. But then recently there was a shift. Shifts. Yeah,
(08:52):
he shifted and kind of pulled to Houdini and disappeared
on me. What, yes, like, I feel like I disappeared,
ghosted almost.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
What I think because he went back to France had
something to do with this.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I don't think so, because I saw him when he
came back, So I don't think it had anything to
do with it.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I think it had anything to do with the conversations
getting a little bit more than surface level. You know.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I don't think that our conversations have actually really gotten
past surface level, like I've tried. But I feel like
he's he's guarded, if that makes sense, you know. I
feel like he's I don't feel like he wants to
be vulnerable, which you know that's tough for all of us.
I mean, I'm gonna be honest with you, like you know,
when you first meet somebody, of course you're not going
(09:40):
to just open up right away. And I get that,
But like we were talking every day, you know, facetiming, texting, calling,
so like for there to be a shift, I decided
to get a little vulnerable, and I actually mentioned that
I feel like there's a shift and things have been inconsistent,
and that consistency kind of matters to me, and you know,
this isn't a good time to date with intentions and
(10:02):
be honest. And I sent that to him as a
text because we had gone a couple of days without talking,
and like, to me, if you're going every day with
talking and then all of a sudden you just stop,
that's kind of like it makes you get in your
own head where you're like, what happened?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
Like, okay, so you gave him a really easy out
I did.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
What was his response to all that? So basically I
was okay. So I was hoping it could go a
few ways. Either he could a just like not respond
because no response is a response, or he could say,
you know, I'm not in the right headspace right now
to be dating. But he responded. He claims that you
(10:41):
know he wants to get to know me with intentions,
because I had said, listen, I'm looking to date with
intention so it's like, if you're not, just let me know.
So he was like, you know, I want to I
want to keep building out a pace that feels good
for the both of us. And in my head, I'm like, well,
what pace is that? The pace of an escargo? Because
everything's been going perfectly fine. So I don't know like
(11:04):
the right and wrong way of dating. But to me,
if you're into somebody, you want to see them at
least like once or twice a week. You want to
check in daily at least once or twice, right, I mean, listen,
maybe I'm used to the people that text and call
each other all day long, and I get it. Maybe
that's not healthy. I mean, if people consider that love bombing,
I don't know. That's something that I've always been used to,
(11:25):
like in all relationships, always like texting throughout the day,
reaching out, being like, hey, how's your day going, Hey,
just checking in, just thinking about you whatever. So it's like,
you know, ever since so ever since I addressed this
and he wrote me back with his whole like he
wants you know, he's interested in also having these intentions,
he's now gone radio silent again.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
So I think everybody's a little different. It varies person
to person how much people are involved with their phone
and texting and whatnot. But you flat out expressed your
needs and said, hey, listen, I'm dating with intention and
I value consistency.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Right, and communication and just communication and reassurance right.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
And his response was great, the words seemed like they aligned.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right, and but the actions are not there. So I'm
not trying to diagnose him, but based off this behavior,
I feel like he's either like a emotionally unavailable or
B he's got an avoidant attachment style because I feel
like I feel like he's pulling back. Maybe he was
starting to like me again, I don't know. I can't
(12:33):
speak on his behalf, but like, from what I'm looking at,
I mean, you're not going to hang out with somebody
that you're not interested in, at least I won't. I'm
not going to waste my time.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Maybe once it gets to a certain level of intimacy.
And I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
About right depth, depth of a conversation, right, And I
mean all of a sudden, an avoidant would be scared away, right.
I mean I was starting to think, you know, maybe
a relationship in his past might have left him hurt
and scorned. Maybe he was starting to catch feelings and
maybe he's s this leaning towards something more serious and
that might have triggered him so might have pulled away.
I mean, again, these are the things that like go
(13:05):
through a person's mind when.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Or you're just busy or he's just busy.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I want to know something. As they say, you're never
too busy. Everyone has the same twenty four hours in
a day. You're never too busy to actually reach out
to someone. It takes five secons to be like, hey, listen,
I have a really busy day. Can I talk to
you tonight? That's it. I'm not saying you need to
spend an.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Hour with the response that he gave you because you
gave him such an easy out. He could have just
been like, yeah, you know what, I'm glad you reached out.
It's you know, I really have enjoyed getting to know you.
But I just don't have the time like he could
have been as he could have.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
And it's like, maybe he doesn't want to like hurt
my feelings, but I would rather someone just be honest
instead of being like no, like taking accountability like I
said he did, where he's just like, you know what,
it's my fault, Like you know, I do wanna, I
do want to date with intention. I do that, you know,
I'm so to me. I'm just like, but if that's
the case, then how come I haven't heard from you again?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Billion dollar question? Is he still checking your story?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
He is, I.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Am, and guess what he's gonna hear this episode?
Speaker 4 (14:06):
So waited to text her listening to a thirty minute episode.
I hate to tell you.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
But exactly exactly. I mean, listen, we've all been hurt,
you know, we've been scoring from our past and stuff,
but like that should not define our future. And again,
if he's looking at his past as like, oh my gosh,
you know, I'm feeling feelings that I've had in the past,
and like I've been burned before, Like we've all been burned,
We've all gone like I've been in deep dark places too.
But like, how are you gonna move on and try
(14:34):
to be happy with somebody if you can't at least
just let your guard down a little bit. And again,
it's hard for me. I you know me, I don't date.
I don't date at all, So this kind of stings.
I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Oh, I see why you don't, because if it gets
you this worked up because of the unknown and where
you stand, who wants that shit? It's just it's too much.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, So I'm I feel like I'm just gonna go
back in my little bubble retreat. Not open my heart
again because I just I don't know. I mean again,
he could just be busy, but bussy but too okay,
but but too busy he posts on his Instagram stories.
You know, he definitely has time to do whatever he's doing. So,
like I said, you could be taking a pooh and
(15:15):
text somebody.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
That's usually when I send you.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Messages, you know. But like but for me, like I'm
that hopeless romantic type, so like I try to stay hopeful,
but at the same time, it's like I'm feeling confused
at this point because it's like I just don't have
an answer, and I want a guy that's gonna be
into me. He's gonna show me that on priority. He's
gonna be emotionally available, he's gonna be transparent, you know.
Speaker 4 (15:39):
Like it's hard for me to hope that the guys
are lined up to take you out. It's just that
you are so freaking picky.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Right, and I don't And that's the thing.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I can't that you have your pick of any guy.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, but all the guys that want to hang out
with me are not you know. It is like they
always say, like, like the type that I like doesn't
like me. Back. So that's kind of how these guys are.
They're like I like you where you don't like me back,
Like I'm sorry, like I don't. I'm super picky because
I know what I'm looking for and like this guy,
and I hate to say it, like like piqued my interest,
so that's why I gave it an opportunity and a chance.
(16:11):
But like to be going radio silent now and leaving
me to wonder, like what the heck happened? And I
know I didn't do anything. It makes me question like
was he actually really interested or not?
Speaker 4 (16:21):
So a question would you ever consider broadening your search?
I don't want who would treat you the way that
you want to be treated.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I have been single for seven years now, and I
don't like after this of me just literally like opening
myself up again and trying and actually liking someone, I
don't want to like anyone anymore now, Like I kind
of wanted to retreat back into my little hole and
just everybody leave me the fuck alone.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Okay, That's where I'm at, you know, and.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
It sucks because it's like I love love, you know,
I want to just be happy and like, listen, I'm
not saying I'm gonna marry the guy. Like that wasn't like, oh,
I mean, like, I meet you high, nice meta, let's
get married. No oh, but like I actually wanted to
see where this would go. And for him to pull
back the way he did and for me to not
have any clarity right now is like it's really like
(17:11):
eating at me.
Speaker 4 (17:12):
I find and this is not to generalize everyone, you know,
put everyone into the same group, but a lot of
men in this generation they are not exactly emotionally mature.
I don't know that. I don't know where they learn
how to be emotionally mature and regulated. But I find
(17:33):
that they all have something little something, something that's gonna
eat away.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But you know what though, But that's where you lean
on your partner to try to be like, listen, this
is what bothers me or whatever, and like you can
work together through it. You can't do that far.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
It's so hard to even get that far, yeah, where
you're even in a serious relationship, because a lot of
these guys are like they see pretty girl on the
internet and then they meet up and it's really fun
and things are going well, but then all of a sudden,
the questions get a little bit deeper and they're like poof.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And that was the thing, like I was trying to
just tiptoe. I wasn't even trying to dig into deep
questions right away because again, I am not a dater.
The way my life has always been is I meet
a guy and we just end up being together. Like
because to me, if I meet you and I like you,
I'm gonna hang out with you again. If I don't
like you the first one I meet you, that's it.
So it's a one and done, like I'm not gonna
(18:21):
hang out with you. So for me, it's like all
my relationships have always just kind of morphed into a relationship.
There was never a let me ask you to be
my girlfriend, Like it's just yeah, it's just more like
it's just more like you guys are hanging out so
much that like all right, clearly they're not with anybody else,
so like we're just together. Yeah, you know, me will too,
(18:42):
right there. I don't know what this whole dating thing is.
And that's why when you know, I know, Wendy, you're
all about like, don't put your eggs in one basket.
You should be out there, you know, having a bunch
of people.
Speaker 4 (18:51):
I can't saying this for your mental health. See, that's
the thing is you are open to love you you,
I think, deep down really want it.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I do want it.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
And if that's the case, I feel like setting yourself
up for disappointment because you know, just look at the
statistics here, look at how most of these guys pan out,
because if they if it wasn't this way, you would
be in a committed relationship with someone.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So nobody, nobody stands up to the like the level
of guy that I want, you know what I'm saying.
So for me to have given this guy that chance,
but there was huge for me.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
There's a B and C. And I'm not saying to
get serious with everyone, but I'm just saying, if one
of the max out of line where you ask them
to you know what their intentions are and say that
showing up is a value of yours and they don't,
you are still getting to know B and C. And
you're not. Your mind isn't doing the squirrel thing.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
But I kind of get that intention question in the beginning,
Like I get that out of the way because it's like, again,
if I meet you, clearly like you're either looking to
build something, or you're just looking to hook up. So
if you're looking to hook you're out. If you're looking
to build something and you're you know, not talking to
other people, then like I want to explore that and
(20:09):
just kind of see where it goes. Let's see if
we click. You know, we may not click, and you
know what, maybe he maybe he didn't click with me
and I thought I clicked with it, you know what
I'm saying, Like, I don't know, I.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Might not know.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Also, what here's like just playing Devil's Advocate. What if
what if he thought he was dating with intention? What
if he thinks he wants a relationship. What if he
you know, but he, for whatever unexplained reason, is scared
of something.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
So then why can't you just talk about that? Just
be like listen, you know, I've gone through messed up
things in the past, like I said, we all have.
So it's like I'm not trying to be a fixer.
Like that's always been my problem in relationships. I'm always
the fixer, and I don't want to have to baby
someone and fix them. I don't mind trying to help
them get through their shit.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
But like at the side, of that role usually fall
to the woman.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Because we're the nurturers.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
We are sure why why is that? Because we have
our own mental health to deal with.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
We do, And you know what, here's the crazy part.
So and I I know I mentioned this to you
guys though, but it's like, so for seven years I've
been single and now dating this guy has like resurfaced
like this anxiety in me because I'm being left like
to wonder and I'm just like I thought, I did
all this work on myself all this year.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Stop dating. But you know what's okay? When and one
of my has anxiety, we know that, like something is
really wrong.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Because I don't have anxiety, but you want to know something.
One of my friends made a good point. She was like,
it's because you've suppressed it and you haven't been dating,
and now this has resurfaced things that you thought you
worked on. And I'm just like, wow, maybe I maybe
I do need to talk to someone. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
I got therapy is awesome. I love therapy me too.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I just want I just love love. I just want
to be fucking happy, Like Jesus.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
You are very what's the what's the term I'm looking
for your very self aware. I think that I think
you would love therapy because it would really just give
you a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk
to you just bounce ideas off of, and they would
tell you that you're doing the right things.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It's just like I'm doing the right things with the
wrong results. I mean, listen, I know, when do you
get a chance to like, quote unquote meet him? But
Danielle did, she got to see him on FaceTime.
Speaker 4 (22:21):
From what you told me, he didn't seem like the
kind of guy that was a love bomber and a ghost. No,
I didn't get that from all of the things you said.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
I didn't seem mature.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
So and also the response kind of are we sure
he's okay? Do we not do a wellness check? Because
because the response was weird, it seems like he.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Was told like like he's so into me and that
he wants to like build on something. But yet, like
I said, actions over words, because it's like that's why
I'm like, well then why would you say that? But
yet now still not talk to me?
Speaker 4 (22:53):
So from here, what do we do? What do you do?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
That's a good question. I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I think at this point, how long has it been
with the radio silence.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
It's just been a couple of days. It's only been
like four days now.
Speaker 4 (23:07):
But still, this is after you said that you value
someone showing up and checking in.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Right, and I think at this point and he acknowledged that,
and yet is not following up on the reassurance that
I'm looking for.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
I think at this point, if he does, you can
just tell him.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Listen.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
I really put it all on the table and told
you what I'm looking for, and I just don't think
that it's it's a fit.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
What do you have to lose?
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Well, she keeps bussing over this one person, you know,
maybe B and C. She's missing out an opportunity to
get to know them.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Listen, there's no opportunity is knocking at my door. Trust
me that.
Speaker 4 (23:51):
I think it's time to take your very narrow search
and just widen it a little bit, maybe allow one
thing that you wouldn't normally, and you might be surprised.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Listen, you look at the roster of guys I've dated
in the past, the boyfriends I've had. I have widened
my my roster of like qualifications. I'm not gonna say
I've settled, but basically I've settled. So it's like I've
given the underdog a chance and I still end up
with the same result. So why can't I be picky
and pick what it is that I really want.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
I have a theory, and I think that all of
us can relate to this. I think that in every
relationship there's the giver and then the taker. Ideally, in
a perfect relationship, you would have everybody doing fifty to fifty, right,
like you give and you take. But I feel as though,
for whatever reason, all of us have always attracted the takers, right,
(24:49):
and you are so willing to give, but it makes
you a target for this sort of thing to happen.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Trust your wish to take.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
You're like too available, too willing to bend.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Over backwards to accommodate and make somebody happy because you
know what, Like I like to see other people happy,
So if there's something they want to do, I'm like, oh,
I'll make that happen. Maybe it's time to stop.
Speaker 4 (25:12):
Maybe don't.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
But then I feel like I'm not contributing. It's weird,
you know.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Well, what are people? What are people contributing to your life?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Stress? Why don't we ask our tailies because I would
love to hear from the talies. You know what, I
want to know from the tailies, what they think I
should do. Like because again, listen, he's not a bad guy.
I don't have an issue with him. I'm just right now.
I have an issue with the fact that I feel
like I've been ghosted and it's not like anything happened,
(25:41):
you know, like at least if there was a little
bit of an argument or a fight, then I would
understand that one hundred percent. Because personally, if something were
to happen in the beginning of dating someone and it
doesn't feel right with me, like a fight of some sort,
I'm walking really quick because it's only going to get worse.
But everything has been perfection, at least in my eyes.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
I guess the big the question mark is giving all
the anxiety.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I'm only getting the anxiety because I'm not getting the
proper communication that I require.
Speaker 4 (26:13):
So after, how does it feel to have anxiety? You know,
I'm in a constant state of anxiety. My anxiety doesn't
go away.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
I don't like this.
Speaker 4 (26:21):
I don't trying to sleep when I'm trying to eat,
when I'm like this, when I'm trying to do everything
and you don't like it when it's hitting you for
five seconds five seconds.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
It's been hitting me now for like for like almost
two weeks. I just I can't take it, Like it
literally is making my head just play all these things
like what was it? Was it something I said? Was
it something I did? And I'm putting the blame on myself,
which is there is should be no blame why I
didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
And my I had a former therapist. She was this
really older woman who had one tooth. She was so cute,
just like one little tooth on the bottom, and she
used to call it the squirrelies or the swirlies. Oh,
And I was like, oh, like when you think of
it as something cute like that, it is because you're spiraling.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
You're are you swirling out of control? Like it's it's
wild that like the And then then what makes everything
worse is scrolling on Instagram and TikTok and all these damn.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
Video still eight hours a day on there, like that
can't be good for anybody.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
It's like the things that you know, the videos I'm watching,
and I'm like, yes, yes, that does remind me of
this yes, that is this and the quotes i'm reading.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Yes, you have messed up my algorithm too. Thank you.
I know I'm getting these weird gangious avoidant attachment. I'm like,
where are my cat videos?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
I'm sorry, guys, but thank you for my little therapy session.
Let's move on to you though, now, Wendy, because I
don't want to. I don't want to start spiraling. But yeah,
I mean, I guess to be continued.
Speaker 4 (27:41):
Or we're so negative this pod, and I don't mean
to be, but I will say that things before you
start feeling really bad for me. Things are definitely on
the upswing. I hope. I'm afraid. I'm like afraid to
jinx anything. But this month of January has been so horrific.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
You you mesk for like two weeks.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
What happened? I didn't well, okay, So I ended up
taking a like a kind of a forced vacation because
I was so ill. So I came home on January ninth.
It was a Friday, and I noticed like Allie had
thrown up everywhere, and he's not a thrower upper. So
I'm like, okay, buddy, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (28:16):
I went upstairs. I want to go check on me.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
They didn't feel well, so immediately I took him to
the er and it's a really good ar. It has
great reviews for cats. I mean, when dogs throw up
all the time, but with cats, like they can get
into something, it can be an obstruction. I just wanted
to be sure. So they treat him, and the very
next day he is sick again, so I call them
(28:39):
in a panic. They're like, you know, just bring him back.
I think we need to do a better sonogram. Meanwhile,
I'm not feeling great myself because I know we've talked
about this on previous pods. I suffer from fibromyalgia and
I have a slew of symptoms from body eggs, fashi
of pain, joint aggs, and my very nervous stomach. We'll
(29:00):
just leave it there. So I'm trying to manage taking
him back to the er while I'm literally shitting myself.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Oh my gosh. So it's like you're falling apart. He's
falling apart, going to blow.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Up this bathroom at the er, and I hope I
don't embarrass myself.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
At least you're in the er though maybe not your
r but somebody's.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
In a health bring it back. I'm so nervous for
he's like really not doing great. And meanwhile they're kind
of pumping him full of all these different pain meds
and anti nausea and all sorts of stuff and sedation.
And so the test comes back clean, the blood test
comes back good. They're like, well, you know, he probably
just had an upset stomach. We'll send you home with
(29:39):
even more meds. I bring him back and this happens
two more times, and every time he's progressively getting worse.
They repeat the sonogram. These things are expensive. Now I
do have pet health insurance, but you know you have
to wait for reimbursement. You have to put this money
up up front front, right And he now he's rolling
and then his face is huge, and I'm like, what
is going on? So four am, I'm desperate, and I Google.
(30:05):
I'm like, I can't. I can't bring him anymore. First off, dogs,
you know, with Nyla, she doesn't mind going on trips.
Cats don't like to go anywhere. It's really stressful for them,
and their little systems can't handle these things. So I
find this doctor, Elizabeth Cohen, who is a home bet
that's incredible, and she first off, I mean responds first
thing in the morning. I had text Yeah, you can
(30:27):
reach her all hours of the day. Now she's also famous.
Now I did not know this at the time, but
Bartel knew who she was because she used to have
a radio show on eight eighty Wow or she would
give pet tips. And she's got like a very famous family.
She has very famous clients who I will not mention. Okay,
like it's incredible, I'll tell you off Mike. But she, oh, yeah,
(30:50):
responsive is anything. And then she's like, you know, I
can come today. It's a good So she comes in,
she takes her shoes off, she goes upstairs, seas.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Him in the bed.
Speaker 4 (30:57):
She jumps into my bed with this emergency shot, which
is like he is having an allergic reaction to whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
They gave him.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
She had been reviewing his file that I sent. They
had given him nineteen different medications.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (31:12):
Meanwhile, I'm like, wow, uh one the er, the er
that he went to four times for all.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
He's not good. You're not supposed to be putting all
that stuff into an animal.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
And one of them, one of the things they gave
him is an antibiotic that stays it's one shot that
stays in your system for up to thirty days. The
main effects will last like fourteen days, so I can't
get it out of him. So his his face is
all swollen. So she gives the emergency shot. About an
hour later, he's like not dying anymore as he was dying.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Wait was she staying there the whole time too?
Speaker 4 (31:47):
She stayed for a for a while to make sure
he was stabilized. And then he got fluids, and she goes,
you are to cease all medications, everything, stop everything, and
we're only doing this emergency steroid and you're gonna start
him on steroids and that's it. And it's been such
a slow, slow process and for me too, I don't know.
(32:09):
You know. Then this cold came in which made my
flare up times one thousand d I know you haven't
been in the office because of your foot, but I'm
walking with a cane.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Now, Yeah, she's coming in with a cane.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Like usually I would use it to just get to
and from the train, but I can't like my legs.
The best way I can describe it is have you
ever had the painful pins and needles? Oh? Yes, you
know when you like you're sitting in a weird way
and then it like almost like hurts to move your legs. Yeap,
that is kind of the sensation. Oh that's so so
(32:42):
if you feel like you could buckle out. So I
have that going on.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
My stomach's been really bad.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
So I ended up. I talked to Bartell and he's like,
you have so much going on. He's like, take a vacation,
and then after that we can talk about work from
home because we have the snowstorm. So I actually worked
from home for Monday and Tuesday, and then I was like,
I need to come back.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
But Bartell is such an angel.
Speaker 4 (33:05):
He's an actual angel. Literally, the fact that he was
willing to say, you know what, take a vacation. I
will cover for you. I needed it more and I
never take vacations in January ever.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
And I know you were so miserable. You're like kicking
and screaming over it too.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
You're like, I don't want to but yeah, yeah, because
I was like, yeah it was.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
It was so hard.
Speaker 4 (33:25):
This is probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through,
even more so than doctor Nebraska's situation leaving the house
and everything. Wow, this was so hard because I'm trying
to keep this little boy alive. I have to give
him pills. They actually trained me with IVY injections, so
I was giving him, Yes, I was giving him IV
infusions at home. I was syringe beating him because he
couldn't eat because his mouth is up.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
How do you find a cat's vein?
Speaker 4 (33:50):
So this is actually subcutaneous fluid. So I'm only I'm
not licensed to do anything I've trained to only do
under the skin. I can't find a vein, gotcha?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Because I was like, how are we see?
Speaker 4 (34:02):
I wish you could do this with humans because I
feel like I could do some subcutaneous fluids, But I
think it's only for pets because they have that big
If you ever like grab a probably grab Nyla's like
back of her scruff. She probablys like a lot of
like jiggles there.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yeah, so they do it. It actually does hydrate them.
And yeah, so like only it was funny because I
was also doctor Elizabeth. She gosh, she's like she's another angel.
Like I love her so much. I would call her
every day crying and she would take my calls and
she's like, Wendy, this is going to be a slow process.
By the way, I don't think it was ever a
(34:35):
stomach ache that was wrong with him. Turns out my
cat is also immunocompromised, has an autoimmune and it wasn't
his stomach at all. It was his mouth. Yeah, he
had a flare up around his mouth that caused him.
You know, if please, if it if it tasted anything
like it smelled, oh, it would make me vomit too.
(34:55):
So the fact that they and he's not.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Good at the vet.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
He was great with her, but he he's not good
when you take him somewhere.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
He's good because he's home and he feels safe.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Yes, So they weren't able to really take a good
look in his mouth, and they were afraid of him
because he's a giant, little panther. So she believes that
he's always had this. It's called EGC eocyphals of some
of the granuloma complex. It can be triggered by you
ready for this stress dietary allergens. Sound familiar, Okay, sound familiar.
(35:33):
So basically me and me and my cat have these
matching autoimmunes.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
I mean, if this isn't the perfect cat for you,
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
I'm we just need to keep his stress levels down
and I need to look into lower allergen food, like
maybe single ingredients stuff. So but the thing is, his
vomiting episode probably would have cleared up on its own,
and the fact that I brought him to the yar
the guilt. I tell you, I really was trying to
do the best for him.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
But all while also being sick. Mind you, like.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Myself there, I could not believe it. I went through
so much of I can't even tell you how much
a moodium I have gone through. I'm completely out. I
went through an entire box over the last week and
a half. So he yeah, I mean, yeah, so it'll
have to be something that we manage from now on.
But whatever they did at the er really took his
(36:23):
already compromised immune system and put it into overdrive and
probably put mine into overdrive too. But he finally stopped drooling.
He does have these ulcers on his tongue still, but
he's able to eat on his own. I was like,
I was like syringe feeding him. So yeah, if you've
been wondering why I've been a hot mess.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
Were literally falling apart.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
What is going on? Word with a storm too, because
you know, living in a house, you have to worry
about a lot of different things, Like I have to
call your mold people, by the way, because I'm like
pretty sure behind the walls of my basement there's like
some moisture.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
And that's what I'm thinking could have triggered all of this,
Like you might have mold in your house that you're
not aware of. I think there's something else, you know,
like I was saying, it could be something in your insulation,
it could be something in the pain.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
I mean, I believe something is in the basement. Whether
it's like a pressing issue, I don't know. I do
think that his issue was definitely made a thousand times
worse by the medication that we couldn't get out.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Of his system. And how's he feeling now?
Speaker 4 (37:20):
Though he seems he's really tired still because of the
pregdice a loan, but he's like out of immediate danger.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's it.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
That's my crazy, sad story.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
And how are you feeling.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
I'm holding food down. And by the way, I just
did a door dash. I put it away minutes before
we logged on to do this. I got bone broth
actually made me a whole list of things that I needed.
I did eat so that I can actually.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Get some protein in you and to try to like
get your stomach back.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
In worthing seven or I lost eight pounds, I know,
eight since the ninth.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
I'm just like, Wow, I can't believe that. That's crazy. Yeah,
but you know what, but it's good because it's like
either you lose weight when you're sick, or you lose
weight for a breakup like that, like the time you
ever really lose this.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Wait, this really did feel I know it sounds dramatic,
but this really felt like my darkest hour. And I've
been through some shit. Like imagine closing on a house
when you think you're gonna be in on this whole
new journey with someone and then have them peace like
literally ghost ghosting dude, then for four and a half years.
But this was worse. This was worse.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
So what's with the ghosting epidemic? I think men nowadays
for Halloween need to be wearing damn sheets over their
head with eyeballs cut out because they're all freaking ghosted.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
We have enough of that ghost on right now.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Done with it. I'm done, dark, dark, dark, gosh, Well
hopefully we all uh, we all get a bet, we
all get better. For the next.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Episode, I was gonna say, February will be better. This
was the you know I we did. You see in
the prep it talked about January official leaping the worst
month ever. Researchers actually confirmed this, and I concur mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I concur too. I thought twenty twenty six, I was like,
this is gonna be my year. Everything feels great, and
now it's like crumbling down on all of us right now.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
No, no, no, I think we just you know, we needed
to get the rot out so that we could start fresh.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Ye, and the next eleven months are gonna be better.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
So February first, we're gonna say Happy New Year, Happy
New Year.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Next episode, get us out of get us out of here.
That's how I'm gonna do the darkest timeline.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Yeah, that's what it is. January is just month thirteen
from twenty twenty five twenty twenty six, starts on February first.
Speaker 4 (39:31):
So listen, if I can just ask a favor of
all my tailies out there. Everyone listening, whether you're tuned
in for the first time or have been with us
for the last five years, if you all could just
think the most positive thoughts for Ali, because I feel
as though when he's feeling good, my mood improves and
then my health improves. Like it's so sad how attached
I am to him like that. But if you could
(39:53):
just keep those prayers and spells and whatever it is
you do coming, we would appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
Wendy and her attach issues.
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Has a theme. He's my soulmate. He really is. Oh.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
He's He's my baby, He's my husband, I say. I
tell him all the time. I'm like, you're my husband,
You're my baby, You're my soulmate, You're my everything.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I love to marry my cat. Well, I'm happy that
I get to see Wendy now she's back in studio.
Can't wait for Danielle to get back into the studio
as well.
Speaker 3 (40:22):
I can't wait.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
I want to use your scooter? Can I use your
scooter when you're done with it? I might need it.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
Yeah, it's cute. I got it from Walmot.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You got to bling it out?
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Oh my no, send me a link, yeah I will.
It's so way cooler than my cane. Let me tell you,
I feel like a thousand years old.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Oh my god, is this the joy And I'm like
the joys I'm getting old. Yeah, joys of getting old. Guys,
this is not cool.
Speaker 4 (40:51):
Tail's over Grandma, tail tails over Jello jell. I love it.
With that said, let's give out our socials.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
All right, Well, I'm Astra on the air.
Speaker 4 (41:05):
Oh, go ahead, I'm Wendy Wild Radio, and I'm Dan
Popular Podcasts
Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb
Joy is essential. And it's also elusive. You can't order it, borrow it, or simply hope it into life. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence: The Joy 101 Podcast with Hoda! Best known for her Emmy-winning work and co-anchoring Today, Hoda Kotb infuses her authenticity, curiosity, and warmth into conversations with the world’s most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sport icons, wellness experts, and everyday folks will share how they find, allow, and experience joy. Hoda will offer her own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced, harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune in to these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats. Joy after a breakup, joy as an empty-nester, joy after loss, joy as a caretaker — Hoda's new podcast will speak to you. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb, an iHeartPodcast.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com