February 5, 2026 • 42 mins
On this episode of Tales Over Cocktails, Astra gets some much-needed clarity and considers throwing in the towel or reassessing. Wendy is finally seeing improvements in her health, but had a creepy cold run-in. Danielle stubs her newly-operated toe and finds herself back at the doctor's office because of it. The ladies also consider how steep the "single tax" is in this economy and discuss the pros and cons of lavender marriage.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, get me cocktails. Woo. I'm Wendy, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Astra, and I'm Danielle.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
And we are Tails over Cocktails.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Where the stories are real.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
The laughs are loud, and there's always something to sip on.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's a weekly mix of absolute chaos, cocktails and way
too honest conversations. Pull up a chair and for something.
It's about to get fun.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Whoa oh, that's our cueue.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I know I love it, obviously, Welcome to the pod.
Before we start, we have to remind everyone to give
us a little follow on Instagram at Tails over Cocktails
because we are still trying to build. We haven't reached
our one thousand mark that we wanted to yet.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I don't know where everybody is. We're sleeping.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
We all got snowed in.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I feel like the more people were on social media,
the more opportunities they had to go give us a
little follow.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Racked with us a bit exactly. I don't know what
you're waiting for. Run over there and tap that little
follow button.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It's very simple.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Why do I look like the ghost of Christmas Past?
We're pasting out some video right now. I don't know
if this is ever gonna see the light of day.
But do you see what is going on?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
You look fine?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, look at me. I look like a hot mess.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Look at me, I look like a hot mess. You
guys look great. By the way, How do we feel
about recording from home? I actually like it. I'm not
gonna lie. Is it giving pandemic? Yeah, it kind of is.
But you want to know something, it's it gives us
the ability to do it at any time that we
want to now, and we don't have to feel.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Rushed, right, yeah, because you know, Danielle, not to point fingers.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
But you are always running into a meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
You always have a nine thirty, ten o'clock and then
I'm always running late and it just and I'm already there,
so I'm just.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Waiting on you guys. So at the end of the day,
it's like I feel like when we do it in
the evening, we're also like pump up from the day.
We're like ready to go. In the morning, we're still
kind of waking up. You know, girl, I'm ready to
go to bed. I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't talk about going to bed. I'm the one that's
up early. Out of this whole crew. Okay, no, no,
no, no no no.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Ever since Ali's fiasco, we now get up a whole
hour earlier because that's when he.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Wants to get up and eat and what time you up?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
So it used to be like around six fifteen out
it's it's not a whole hour five forty two.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh okay, don't shut if I'm up at five am,
Oh okay, all right. Mm hmm. He's like, it's time, girl,
get up.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
You need to feed me, and I'm I'm happy to
do it because of our whole six months of January
was so traumatic. I'm just happy he wants to eat
and I will. I will get up at any time
he wants to give his boy food.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
I when I go to work, I wake up at
five o'clock when I'm coming into the office morning showing.
But yeah, but now I sleep a little bit later
and then i'll i'll I'll wake up at like six
thirty seven, and then I'll i'll fall back to sleep
because I'm like a couple of hours.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
It's your foot, that's you know, handling everything right now?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh gosh, I so today I stubbed my toe really badly.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
The toe you had surgery on, Yeah, the foot foot?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Uh that I had to run to the doctor because
of Yeah, I mean I'm in I'm in excruciating pain.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Wait did the did the little needle thing fall out?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
No, it pushed in more.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Yeah, so I went to the doctor. She had to
wiggle it out a little bit.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And uh. Yeah, So they are you taking like advil
or yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, advil?
Speaker 1 (03:50):
That's it. You need perks if they don't do that anymore,
that they never want to get I.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Was on oxy coaton for four days and I got
rid of them.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I saw them in the garbage.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
They make you constipated.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah, I felt like I gave birth when I went
to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
And I've never given birth before, but that day I
felt like I gave birth.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Now you know what birth feels like, and I don't
even know.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
So question, do you feel, Danielle, like you're missing out
a little bit?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You feel a little bit of fomo not being in
the office.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I do miss being in the office, but she's still
doing work. Yeah, I'm still doing work and I can't
drive yet.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
So so how do you get to the doctor you're ubering?
Speaker 2 (04:37):
No, I have my friend bring me. Oh okay, yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Thank god she she actually works at night, so she
brought me to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah. I was there for a couple of hours because
you know, I just ran over there.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
No appointment, no appointment, so goodness, yeah I was.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I don't know. I was just in so much pain
and I'm still in so much pain.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
And that's why. I mean, I got messages too. We
were talking earlier. People were like, you weren't so talkative
on the pod last.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Week, and I'm sorry to call you out on that
because I felt like, I hope we weren't talking all
over you and I know that there was an issue
with the microphone and that's okay, surgery. We never want
to make you feel excluded in anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, no, no, I just I just don't feel well.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I think she was just so high on like pills
that she was kind of just listening. Why you're hanging
out of her feet. No, but she's listening to us
like she's like, oh, let me listen to this podcast.
Oh wait, I'm on it.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
But no, you know, and I feel bad because you
know me, I like to chime in and be silly
and talk. Yeah, I like to talk a lot, so
I'm sorry to our listeners and new ladies.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
That's all right, I'm just myself.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But we did a lot of talking last week, and
obviously you could always go back and listen to that pod.
I do want to kind of read group off something
that I was talking about last week. Have you guys
ever met someone whose intentions were genuine but the ability
to show up just wasn't there?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Absolutely? Oh absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Everybody's a big old liar.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
They say something and they think they mean it right there,
and I't necessarily trying to swindle you.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Right. Sometimes people could be overwhelmed, stress shut down. You know.
They might like you, but liking you is not the
same as being able to show up for you, you know.
So I kind of wanted to just kind of get
into this a little bit so that we can like
wrap up what we were talking about. But sometimes the
strongest thing that you can do is accept the answer
that somebody gives you, even when it's kind of like
wrapped up in kindness. Okay, So basically what happened last week,
(06:40):
which I said, go back to the pod and listen,
I have to say everything that transpired is all about
timing capacity and self awareness and the right person. You know,
the right person doesn't just like you. They have to
have room for you at the end of the day.
So what I will say moving forward is I will
not be talking about any other relationship or hard launching
(07:01):
any good news on this dating front until I have
a ring on my finger, because if I ever decide
to date again, I'm going to realize that, you know,
I have to realize first if I know how to date,
because this is something that I've actually been thinking about.
I don't know how to date. I know, I've brought
this up before on the pod, and it kind of
wants I kind of want to branch off on something
because as you guys know, like I'm a big hopeless romantic,
(07:23):
I'm a big lover girl. Like you know, it's rare
necklace right there, right yeah, love, which it's so funny.
I've actually had people ask me like, oh, did a
boyfriend buy that for you? No, I bought it for
myself because like I love love, you know, and it's rare.
And you guys know this that I ever like someone.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
So you know, I started thinking very valent I'm like
wearing all black and you're all valan red.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
We're all in red right now. I know. I actually
was starting to wonder if maybe I had come on
too strong or too fast, And that's something that I
definitely didn't mean to do. I just got super excited
and wanted to genuinely know, you know, get to know
this person, because, as you guys know, I've been head
on the inside like dead. So when you wake up
your heart, it's like you get you get alive for
(08:06):
the first time. I mean, I'm sure a lot of guys. Yeah,
I'm sure you guys have gone through that too, cause
it's like, you know, we've all been like, you know,
if we're not with somebody for a while, it's like
you just I don't know. I always tell people I'm
like black hearted, Like I just am kind of like
cold and empty, and you know, so it's like when
somebody like sparks you, it's like, oh my god, this
is so great, and like you get super excited. So
sometimes I start to wonder, like, did I maybe come
(08:27):
on too strong?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I think you need to give yourself some grace. I
don't think it has anything to do with you. I
really don't. I think if anything, you're very self realized.
I think you've been upfront, honest with everyone you meet
about your needs, about what you're looking for. And if
you know that's not the right fit for someone that
has nothing to do with you, it's not on you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
And also if you get mixed messages from anyone, that's
another thing that's that's not your fault.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So give yourself some grace.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, give me grace.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So I've been like doing a little research on dating,
like what are the rules on dating? Like how long
should you be dating somebody? Are you finally going to
date more than one person at a time?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
You on the Bachelor next Daniel, you know, let's get
it on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
You need to date twenty five? Oh my gosh. No,
yes you.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
And I commented on that post today Chris Harrison post.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh, yes, he's looking, he's doing it dating that he's back. Yes,
he's going to be posting this dating show and they're
looking for people the Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
No, it's totally totally different.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
He's looking for people who are looking to date with
intention and get married. What was the wording? It was
like a traditional marriage? Okay, call Chris, do you have
his number?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I should you know what I'm going to try to summon,
but always I have Carson dailies.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I just want to I just want to put this
out here. I started trying to educate myself on like
the proper rules of dating, and from what I'm seeing,
people say that you should give it about three months
and that would include consistent communication, texting or talking at
least once or twice a day, and then seeing each
other at least once or twice a week as time progresses.
So maybe I was trying to get a little ahead
of myself. And again I'm not trying to say that
(10:12):
I'm blaming myself for anything. I just, like I said,
was awoken that I'm like, wow, this this feels so great,
Like why would I not want to see this person
and talk to this person and hang out with this person.
But then it's like maybe I need to learn, right,
maybe I need to learn how to slow it down
and like space it out because you don't really know
somebody for a while. And I also feel like maybe
(10:36):
I wasn't putting my whole like I like my representative
wasn't fully me at the end of the day because
I was like so excited that I'm trying to jam
pack everything in that maybe it was like, holy crap,
like overload too much. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I think at our age too, everyone's got something going
on in their life and we only have so much
bandwidth right right. And I'm not making excuses for anybody
out there, because I think if you show up wanting
to date, like you should be ready so that you're
not inconveniencing anyone. But I think you know, you have
so much bandwidth and then to allow And this is
(11:12):
why I don't date, to allow.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Another person in right, And so it's a lot, it's work.
It actually is work, it is see, and that's why
I feel the whole dating thing. That's why I don't
like dating. I feel like if you go out on
a date once or twice, you should know if you
still want to keep hanging out with that person or
not after like the second date, if you're just not
feeling them, then just like let it go, you know,
because when you're going through more and on a longer
(11:35):
period of time, you're building more feelings, not love, but
you're feeling you know, you're getting feelings, You're getting invested
in this person. You want to know more. You want
to get the vulnerability start to you know, like I
personally opened up like and started to share and be
a different person than I've ever been in other like relationships.
To be honest with you, like, I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Wait, what is the longest conversation you've had on the
phone somebody with someone?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I'll be like, getting to know me. I do love
to talk, but I mean I would say, maybe, well,
you know what it was, scaled back a little bit,
I would say it was probably like maybe thirty forty minutes.
I guess it's yeah. And here's the thing. When I
was younger, I remember I would lay on my floor
in my room and be talking for hours till the
(12:23):
sun came up, like I was that first, and that
would be like yeah, yeah that you know, you become
like best friends with somebody. And that's kind of what
I think I would want. And that's why for me
and what works for me is conversation, talking, getting to
know and spending more time as opposed to not talking.
When I When I when I don't talk to someone,
that's when I start to think, like maybe they're not interested,
(12:46):
because they do say when someone is very interested, they're
going to go that extra mile to always make sure
to talk to you, check in with you, because you
can't go twenty four hours without talking to somebody that
you like, right, It's just natural. I mean even my friends,
Like it's not some of my friends, like we're texting
all day long, you know, and if we go even
a day without talking, I feel like something's missing, you know. Yeah,
(13:07):
I always I text my friends and I'm like proof
of life. Just check it in, make sure you're like right, Like, hey,
you good, because like if I don't hear from my
best friend and we talk all day long, but it's like,
it's funny because that's why I love texting, because it's
like you can text and then you could just stop
and then you just can all tell you you can
do other things at the same time, right, you can.
It's not as disrupted. You're not on a phone call
(13:28):
or on a FaceTime where you're like I have to
get this person one hundred percent attention. Like you can't
be like cleaning your house while somebody's on the phone.
They're gonna be like, what the hell are you doing.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
So I will say with this whole situation with dating,
seeing you of all people get anxious because of this
like withdrawal. That's when I felt like something was really off.
And again, like I know, you're very aware of your
issue and you're wanting to be connected quite to somebody, right,
(13:58):
But you also have a point that when you're dating
someone and you're getting to know them and things are
going well.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That you want to watch the momentum going. You want
to keep the momentum going. Yeah, right, and you show
up so you know. And what's crazy is like thinking
about past relationships, which obviously, like I said, I've been
single seven years now, so it's like hard to think
back that far. But I do know that when I
would be dating or I can't even say dating because
like that was the thing I never dated. It was
always it just turned into a boyfriend. So like relate
(14:25):
my past relationships. It's just I personally can't stand if
like I'm not talking to that person or checking in
with that person. But I also don't want to be
like questioned or like there's certain like things that will
start to trigger, you know, like and I mean that
wasn't even like I have to say, this was probably
one of the most mature things, and it was a
(14:46):
little step out of my own comfort zone. I was
able to actually express how I'm feeling and things that
I want that would make me feel I've never done
that before, so that was like my vulnerability coming out.
And that's the very growth. That's great.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I was just gonna say, that's growth. That's maturity. That's
being aware of your emotions.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And not being afraid to say what you want. I
feel like again, we talked about you always being the
fixer and the giver and the hand instead of trying
to squish yourself into someone else's box and the mpath.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I feel everybody's feelings and pain, and I know when
something's going on, and I really like it's like a
blessing and a curse. No, it's it's definitely a curse.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I feel that one like I feel I absorb everybody's
energy and it's horrific.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But that's why, for the record, I'm going back into
my little bubble and I don't want to be bothered because,
you know why, having the ability to have my heart
rewoken and not panning out to the way that I
had envisioned or romanticized it to be, I'm like, check, please,
I'm out now.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Listen I think take a break, regroup. I think from
every experience you learn and grow. I mean, look at
I remember your ex from a million years ago, and
because of that situation, you ended up with Nyla I did.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I was just thinking this, like everything, no.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Matter what horrific tragedy happened in the past, there's always something.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I like to think.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Sorry for the toxic positivity, but I like to think
there's always something good that comes out of it. I mean,
like you do with Ali. You end up with Ali
yours literally the same snaruation, right, yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, and now and this.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
In this case, you're learning how to communicate your needs and.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
You know what, And I have to say that is
one positive step for me. And I'm like, I'm actually
kind of proud of myself. I'm still kind of nervous
because that's it's out of my comfort zone and being
vulnerable is very, very tough for me. But I feel
that in order to have a mature relationship, you have
to be vulnerable. Yeah, and it's hard, it's so hard,
but you know, I guess it won't be hard with
(16:54):
the right person, that's right, That's right.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Well, if we don't take a break here, Henry p
d Is going to we are going to take a break.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
You're going to take it a break. We'll take a break,
and we're going to come back with Wendy and we're back.
Oh hi, guys, I've done.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
We were you know, we were so emotionally drained the
last episode that we didn't even care about the commercials.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I know. Yeah, And it was funny when I was
listening back, I'm like, wait, we never took any commercial
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
And obviously Henry did say something and I was like,
I'm literally Allie was dying and so was I.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So we just didn't care. But you know, if we.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Are going to start trying to sell and monetize this pod,
which would be nice, I was talking to Jody about it, like,
we're gonna have to be more mindful of these things.
So we will, Yeah, we will.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So I know you do have some stuff that you
wanted to bring up when.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
I didn't come to the table as prepared. But I
do have a couple of things, you know, in this snowstorm,
and you know, we talked about last week how I
was really struggling with my fibromyalgia. This is probably one
of the worst.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Flares I've ever had.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
I've been walking around with the cane, although I did
forget the Remember I forgot the cane this morning. You did,
the fact that I forgot it meant I didn't really
need to rely on it so much.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
So I you know, I'm proud of you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm walking a little bit bottle, thank you, thank you.
I'm trying my best. It's like, I still have the
zings and the legs, but I think with these push through. Yeah,
but these temps warming up a little bit, it's it's
more tolerable. I don't I mean, I'm guessing it's weather related.
It could be anything, but I.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Mean I don't even have fibromyalga, and I can't walk
out in this weather when it's freezing. It's like painfully.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
The best way I can describe it, and this isn't
even accurate, is have you ever gotten pins and needles
where it feels painful?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Or Yeah, when you're sitting on the bowl too long, or.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
If you sit a weird way on the train and
then you get like and then it's like whoa, it
like actually hurts to move it.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, when you're sitting on the bowl too long because
you're scrolling on Instagram and TikTok as freakoutely.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
That's like the best way I can describe it. But
it's like I almost feel like I'm losing control of
my legs. That's why I had to have the mobility aid.
But I will say some people like you you were fine,
You were like, oh, you know whatever, like how are
you feeling fine? And then I would get these stairs
from certain people at.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Work, on the train, anywhere, some work. That's why I
think the stair might be because you're so young to
be using a cane and people are like, why, here's
the thing? Can I tell you?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
When people look at me that way and I'm going
to do my best impression of it, I feel like
I don't I want to leave the mobility aid at home,
even though I need it, because I just it makes
me feel a certain way, but I mean comfortable.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I'm sure this was the look? This is the look? Really?
Is it like I feel bad for you look? Or
is it I'm shocked that you're using can It's like
I feel bad for you look.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
And it's typically and I'm not saying people that we know,
but like just in general, people give me a double take.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
And it's usually the older men, usually like boomer men,
of course, and I kind of want to be like,
you know, not for nothing. I am blessed. I am
very lucky.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
This is not a an all the time things like
when I'm flaring up. But I can't imagine how people
who use mobility aids feel.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
When they old stared at all the time.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, it's horrible.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I even get the looks with my foot.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, listen, I again. I I appreciate the empathy. I
think it's like a very nice thing when people are
concerned about you and when they ask about you.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
But people get up to give you their seat, yes,
oh good.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Yes, But I usually say, usually like if I'm on
the subway, it's for one stop, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Like, no, no, it's okay. Really, I'm getting off that.
Oh that's sweet.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I think I'm too nice. I think I'm too nice.
So this was my next topic for you. Uh huh huh.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
During the snowstorm, I don't know why I decided I
was going to go try to shovel myself.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I went out.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Needle legs, come on, yeah, I went out in the
thick of it while it was still coming down and
I did a little tiny bit and then I it
came down about an hour later, it was completely covered
everything I did. So I said, you know, this is
going to be the day that I try this shoveler app.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Have you heard of this? No?
Speaker 3 (20:57):
No, it's called here. I have it on my phone.
It's called shoveler put your address in.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
And I mean, in a big snowstorm, it's going to
be like one hundred bucks. It's not me, but you
know what, it's my it especially with them on the story.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
We got yes, and it was so I did it
too early. I got excited. I thought that the snow
was going to stop, and I was like, let me
have them come, and they literally send somebody immediately.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
So I was like, oh crap, I should have had
them come.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Like later at night or tomorrow. So the guy comes
and he comes to the door, like I did not
have to interact the thing with this app is that
you don't have to interact with people. Wow, okay, you
could just like you just pay them on the thing.
You don't even have to look at them.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Oh, they just in front of your house shoveling away.
They just yeah, snowblow they come with like a like
good equipment. They had just salt and everything.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I went up to the guy and I was like, hey,
I'm like, I'm sorry I had you come so early.
You know, how much would you charge off the app
if I needed you to come back tomorrow?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Say? And I texted you guys. This guy took that
as a come on, like you were hitting on him.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
I said, do you mind if I get your number
and consider you for when it's if it snows again?
Is he gonna give me a twenty dollars discount.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
To do off the app? Are you looking at the messages?
He was? Oh, he was sending me some. It started
off with hey, what do you do for a living?
And then he's so well. First of all, let me
ask you, was he even like remotely good looking by
any chance?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I mean, I'm not into dudes, but yeah, for a guy.
First off, he must have been in his twenties. Okay,
so that's one. So I'm like flattered, but like weirded out.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
So now I'm like, this is where I live? First off?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Oh no, I don't know how that was perceived as
a come on, right, I know you're literally just want
to have a contact who can do a siring.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
They did a beautiful job. By the way, I.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Hope, I hope you didn't say when can you come
back and plow me?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
She's bad? Wait it yay, wait back.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
So anyway, like I didn't really think much of it
at the time, and then the next day it clearly
needs to be shoveled again, and he messages me I'm
gonna be in the area again, I'll come do that.
And I was like, okay, fine, Like I said, his
eighty dollars still good, I'll let you know.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
So I'm like, so wait, the app charge to one
hundred and he was willing to do it for eighty eighty.
So okay, he goes, I'll let you know.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
So I was like, okay, maybe he's gonna assess and see,
like if there's not a ton of snow, maybe it'll
be less. They do it in like thirty minutes. It's
more than one person or it's just him and some
other dude. It's him and some other guys. Got it, Okay,
So he texts me about an hour later he goes,
you know what, consider this the start of our friendship
or something to that effect.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Oh yeah, take it as a gift of friendship anything.
I just finished my day. I said, absolutely not, And
I ended up venmowing him or whatever. And I was like,
I want nothing to do with this, because you don't
want to owe weird strangers anyow. No, not at all.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Yeah, so he's gonna ask you to blow him instead
of you.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You gotta stop doing that. Oh wait a second, wait
a second, I need I need to say, So you
sent us these screenshots?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
How do I go?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
How do you go from the text to the whats app?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Why is he talking to you on my phone?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
No, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
That was the part that weirdened me out, because first
off I blocked him because you know, you can look
at my messages. I was like, you did a beautiful job.
May keep you in mind every time it snows. And
then it was like about the money, and then.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Uh, right, you're being very professional about it. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I hope we can can keep talk if you don't mind.
And then oh, I told him I was married. I said,
I don't think my husband would like that husband I
was gonna have like Becca.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Meanwhile, he's probably thinking what husband he'd be out here shoveling.
I told him I told him he was stuck in
the city. Okay, I said, oh, you know, thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
I'm like, now we'll have to place the park, thank
you very much. I don't think anything of it. The
next day, I get a message on WhatsApp, which I
don't even use, so now I'm a little weirded out.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
And he says, I'm sorry to bother you, but can
I tell you something? What I have to tell you?
He's like, I blocked him. No, you know what he
has to tell you that he drove by your house
again and never saw your husband's car in the driveway,
so he's gonna say, where's your husband? Now?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
We use one car.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
That is my theme song. I swear I love that
song so much. I keep saying I'm going to keep
playing it and posting it and manifesting until I get
my husband and my ring and my child and everything
that I want. But anyway, back to my day, Sorry
about it. That's pretty much all I digress.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh no, I keep I keep running into these weird issues,
Like anytime there's trouble to be found, I find it.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I love it. No, yeah, we do have one more
topic for you to mention. I know we wanted to
talk about it. Yeah, we were discussing this, you know,
this one. But she has to she has to jump
in on this. Yeah, I want to take on it.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
So you know, I'm not really I'm not interested in
dating at all. We've kind of touched upon sexuality stuff.
This has nothing to do with sexuality at all. How
do we feel about lavender marriages?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Do you know what that is? I love it.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I know lavender. I spray on my pillow. What's a
lavender marriage?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
A lavender marriage is when a straight woman marries a
gay man and they cohabitate, they have children, partnership it is,
it's a partnership, but they all they have their own
separate lives, so it's like he still can have his guys,
she can still have her guys, but they live together.
So they live under one roof together. They tax bands together. Yep,
(26:32):
they have children. They have a whole family, so it's
like they have the mother and father for the kids.
And if anybody, if they do start dating someone, let's
just say they learn how to incorporate them into the
dynamic that they run.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
You'll think about how expensive it is to live these days.
I mean to think about most of the country had
their healthcare. Their cost go through the roof. Rents across
New York City and everywhere, really beyond beyond. I won't
even ask how much both of your rents are.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And that's the thing we're all like, wehn, do you
have a mortgage? There's rent. There is something called the
single tax. And you know what's interesting is that.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
We all pay it, all of us, the single tax. Yes,
because we're not splitting our expenses with anybody. We're keeping
ourselves alive on a single income. In this world, in
this universe is no, we're.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
All sinks to sale income no.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Kids in this economy, I think you need to make
like two hundred thousand dollars to live, and.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's why you need to be a dink double income
no kids, or if you add kids into the mix,
because you have a lavender marriage, I mean, why not?
And you want to know what's so funny? When Wendy
brought up a lavender marriage thing to me, I immediately said,
it's funny you should say that. I've been considering that
because I do have a friend who is well he
says he's interested in doing that with me. He is
(27:52):
very good looking, he is gay, he wants to have kids,
he's an orthodontist. He's one of my friend's best friends.
He was actually my partner in my friend's wedding, and
he had a gay wedding. So I was like, you know,
this dating is just not working out for me. Maybe
I need to be in a lavender marriage.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Wouldn't it be nice to come home and just sit
down and watch a show with someone.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
But there's no bullshit, there's.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
No expectations, there's no weird. I mean, I guess you
could fight with anybody. You could fight with, your girlfriend,
you could fight with but just knowing that if you
find someone who is responsible enough to and reliable enough
to split expenses, but your partner to be someone who
you know is your best friend and.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Your ear and your other half.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
And because listen, it's not like you're missing the sex
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Like and see, Danielle is probably like, hell no, I
want to get plowed blow back here. Yeah, I would
consider it, you know, especially with the way that the
dating landscape's been in this and this day and age
and all the videos that keep popping up on Instagram
and and TikTok about how everybody's like dating sucks, and
(29:01):
if you're married or in a relationship, hold on to
the person you're with, even if you guys are fighting.
Make it work. Like I say that all the time
because it's like it's rough on these streets. People can't
afford it.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It is rough. It is rough.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
I mean kind of people are staying in relationships just
for the economy, right.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
But you know what, and like I said, I'm a
lover girl. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love love, but
if love doesn't want to love me back, I got
to figure out what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Listen, I was married for a while and I could
have stayed, but I was. It just wasn't working.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
And that's the thing. You don't want to force something
that's not right.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
And we're still friends. We talk all the time, but
like I think we're just better off friends. And then
it's like, I don't think I could technically marry my
gay friend to cohabitate with.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I don't know, really, I mean, we could live together.
I ain't marrying him.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I mean, you know, you don't have to get married.
It could just be called a lavender marriage because you
guys are kind like sharing things. But you could go
through it. I mean, it'd be a fun party, that's
for sure. Imagine that wedding reception. It would be a
fun time.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I'm never getting married again.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Really, I don't want anybody in my house. Everyone who
says that, everyone who's been married says they will never
get married again.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
What's the point?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Like it's so overrated? I feel like it's such an
old fast what it's an old fashioned idea. If we
are with partners, it's because we choose to be right
and because they add value to what you already bring
to your own table. And that's how I feel like.
That's why I always say for someone to come in
to my energy and my space and my life, you
(30:38):
better be coming with something that's, you know, equal to
or better then that I'm already doing for myself.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
You know, there was something else that we were talking
about behind the scenes. I feel that a lot of
men sis men are sometimes intimidated by a successful independent woman.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I think that that's very true. And you want to
know something, I've seen it happen a lot because once
a guy starts talking to you and they they see
that you're like a triple threat, Like they're like, hold
up a second, you're pretty, you're smart, you make good money,
you carry yourself while you you speak so well like
because they usually see a pretty girl, they think that
she's an airhead. Or they'll see an ugly girl and
they'll think that she's smart. So it's like you never
(31:18):
have like everything in one like, but when you're like
the full package, for some reason, guys get intimidated. But
then I've also met other guys that are like, no,
I want a strong independent woman. I don't get intimidated
by that. And I said, well, then you need to
start teaching a lot of these men out there, because
most of them are a lot of men that do
feel intimidated by a strong independent woman.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
They will try to bring them down right because they
don't want to feel emasculated by right. And it'll be
it'll it'll like if you have someone with narcissistic tendencies.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It starts off small.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Like just a little bit of gaslights, oh, little digs
just bring just to bring it down a notch, to
knock you down, trying to humble you.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
But meanwhile, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm gonna humble you right now.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Yeah, Oh I have gray hair coming in, Oh I
had a pimple.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Oh what is this pinch in my set? Get out
of here?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
You know what, back in the in the early two thousands,
I had a boyfriend like that.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
It did awful.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
He was literally the worst person you could ever ever,
ever imagine.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Just just be like, oh what's this? What's that? You know,
just to feel yeah, yeah, And we've all encountered those
type of guys. And that's what I feel, chips away
at our own self worth at times, which is why
when you try to get into a healthy relationship, you
end up getting those triggers because for some reason, you've
already been gas lit. And like I think for you,
(32:38):
I think for.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
You specifically is like when people pull back on communication.
Somebody did that to you, and and that's where that
fear comes.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
From, right, And it's like, you know, it's so funny.
I try to think, like why do I feel this
way when I know it's not really like I should
not be giving someone the power to make me feel sad, broken,
upset When it's like why, like why am I doing that?
It's like I can't even pinpoint what it is. I
don't think it's even about them.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I think it's about it, it's about past trauma, it's
about experiences. Like for Dee and I, I think that
we're triggered by people being overly critical of us.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I've lived with excees too, so like we've all had
like cohabitating people and it's just sometimes too when people
are within your space, they get a little too comfortable
and they say things that you know, words hurt at
the end of the day, and they people say, like,
you know, you got to watch what you say to
people because you never know how many times they're going
to be replaying that in their head. And that's what
(33:34):
causes people to be broken. And it's hard to like
repair after you've been broken down by somebody so bad
you think you've buried it or you think you've worked
through it, and then it's like it just kind of
comes back. It gets better.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
It does, because I think I'm so much more satisfied
being by myself and being able to entertain myself.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
I actually enjoyed being home.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Now, well, let's take a quick break. We're gonna come
back and talk with Danielle because we've got to catch
up on her foot and everything else.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Hey, so I know we briefly touched upon your feet
or we didn't really touch your feet couci coo feet.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I get my stitches out next week and I booked
my right foot for April seventh. Two.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
How are you gonna go through this other? Yes?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
I just I just have to get them done, you know,
before the summer.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
How's how's the shaving situation? Because I know you were
concerned that you think that you're like, leg is gonna
be hairy?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Wait? Can I just tell you? Last night, I'm on
the phone my sister. I was like, law, you.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Gotta see how hairy my leg is under here.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
She goes, why don't you shave it?
Speaker 4 (34:45):
I'm like, because I can't get a wet But I
used something today and I shaved.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
What did you use I used?
Speaker 4 (34:52):
I used, you know, the the derma.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Thing, that Derma planet.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yes, yeah, so I used that on my my leg.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Oh my gosh, Why does it matter?
Speaker 4 (35:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
I hate hair.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah, but with this weather right now, at least you
got a perfect sock on.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, So I shave. Oh man, I was just like, oh,
get it off of me.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
So you are So the next surgery is for April,
you said.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
April seventh, So uh, I have to I have to
be ready for a jump starts to summer for u
Z one hundred, So that is always memory all day weekend,
and so my stitches will come out the Tuesday before
(35:41):
like that really cutting a cloth.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Ye, and then I took it.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
You're gonna be pretty healed.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, yeah, I'll be pretty healed.
Speaker 4 (35:49):
And then also my birthday is the following week, so
I took off that whole week.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
So you just don't don't be breaking legs dancing because
we don't need you, like laying up with your day feet.
Do you feel like it already? You know how to
manage it a little bit better and how to be
a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, I just gotta I just gotta be careful and
not stub my toe. I stubbed my foot three times.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And today was the hardest time.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
I just how did you stop? Like what happened?
Speaker 4 (36:18):
So I have an island in my apartment, and uh,
I went to get the garbage and I misjudged my
toe and I hit the edge of the island and
I was screaming, cursing everything, and I was like I
can't feel my toe.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
I can't feel my toe. Oh my god. I call
my friend. She picks me up.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
We run over to the doctor's office. The doctor is like,
give me some time, all right. Line from sitting there
like messaging people working at the same time, and she
was just like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
She wiggled the thing a little, the wire and yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
It hurts. My toes are perfectly fun right now.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
But but also on Tuesday, I got in, I got
clearer liners.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So from my face to my feet, I'm gonna be.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
To the toes now. You just got to work on
the boobs. Yeah, you need to do anything. I know
you don't. She's saying she wants to do boobs.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I'm like, why, I'm coming for you.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Yeah, but you know I did mine and then I
took them out.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
Well, look up motiva with the preserve a uh incision.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
It's very small it, you know, it's just look it up.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Taking their their implants out right. They want xplant because
you know why it causes like implant illness. Like I'll
tell you, like, I mean, I had we know what
we do. I had I think that I didn't have it,
but I had the mind in for ten years, and
there were times where it's like they would be very uncomfortable.
I remember really like a pinch, Like there'd be times
I'd be laying a specific way. Wait, so where did
(38:06):
they put them when they took them out, they they'd
like discard them, I guess. But then what they did
was I mind you home and with a baggy of boomsack. No,
but they took my fat and put it back in.
So my boobs now are real because they have my
real fat in them. What. Yeah, I had, I had
(38:27):
fat transfer. So I had LiPo done to take out that. Yeah,
he did. So he took it out of my stomach,
my flanks, my back like I did LiPo three sixty.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I was in a lot of pain. Oh my gosh,
it was painful. You know what pain is beauty and
beauty is pain. That's what I always say whenever I
get anything done that can dissolve. So like where Yes,
So what they do is they overfill your boobs because
they know that your fat is going to deplete. So
they say that it holds up to about sixty percent
and depletes forty. However, here was my issue. Back in
(38:58):
the day. I did used to go to the gym.
Pole don't believe me, but I did. I used to
go to the gym. I actually did, and because you
know why, because I hate the gym.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I hate.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I hate. Well, this is why I hate the gym.
I'm gonna explain why I hate the gym now now
now the truth comes out. The reason why I hate
the gym is because when I used to go to
the gym, it wasn't working. I even got a trainer,
I tried to lose weight. Nothing was helping me. I
was just gaining weight. So I'm just like, you know what,
let me just get the light bo because I'm having
a problem toning my stomach, like it just was not
tightening up. So he lightpoed me out. Everything is tight toned,
(39:27):
pulled in everything, and he puts the fat in the boobs.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, these boobs are so big. There'
as big as my implants. Like the reason why I
took out the implants because I wanted them smaller. He's like, well,
don't worry, you're gonna lose some of it. Well, I
never lost any of it, because I told you I
wasn't able to lose weight in the gym, so that
fat from my stomach that was now in my boobs
wasn't going anywhere. So I'm just like, how on earth,
(39:50):
Like do I need to get lightpo on my boobs
now to get with my boobs down? But luckily, now
that I have lost weight, my boobs have gone down
because I've lost fat, so everything is coming down now
and I'm actually happy. I don't know where. I guess
your body just melts it down, but either way, like,
I'm so happy now at the size of my boobs,
Like they are not those gigantic melons that they once were.
(40:13):
They were melons.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Man.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I have pictures. I look at my old pictures and
I'm like, damn, I was all boob. I try not
to follow.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
These trends because every couple of years things change. You know,
first we have the thin eyebrows and then we're tattooing
them back on, and I know then it was all
about big bush and then it's like, oh these.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Small big butt, now small butt now that people want
Kim Kardashian. Now they don't want Kardashian.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Like.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I can't keep up either, But.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
It's just easier to not do anything at all, you know,
and sometimes I sit back and I'm like, why did
I ever go through all this, like all the money
I've spent on my body, you know, like boobs in,
boobs out, Like I'm over it.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
But at the end of the day, though, I'm always
happy with the way that I look. So it's like
I'm happy at for that moment, and then when I
need to change something, I change it. You know. That's
why I'm a big advocate for people that want to
do anything. Like I hate when people are like, don't
get this done, don't do that. Do what makes you happy.
That's what I said something to D I said something
the other day like you don't need it and whatever.
(41:11):
Do what you want. Do what makes you happy, right,
you gotta do it makes you happy.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
You don't need it, you just need money.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, but you know what, that's why I said, do
the fat transfer, because at least it's your own fat.
Like when you put a foreign object in, you're taking
the risk of it potentially rejecting. That's all. So you
just got to think about those things.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Well, I don't really have a lot of fat on me,
so the only way only thing is like my thighs
and inner thighe that's about it.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Otherwise you'll have nice sculpted inner thighs and nice boobs.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I'll talk to Tarani when I go see him.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
See what he could do. He could squeeze that a
little extra.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Eh, let's squeeze it baby.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
All right, guys, we're coming up on Yeah, we're coming
up on forty five minutes or so, so I know
it's one of the longer ones. We should probably give
out our socials and remind everybody to throw as a
follow if they would.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
So, of course you can find me on the Gram
and on TikTok and everywhere else, at Astra on the air,
and I'm Wendy Wild.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Radio, and I'm at Danielle DeLillo.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
And of course together we're tails over Cocktails cocktail. Get
allow over there, because you know, we need to get
our following count up to at least one thousand. Oh yeah,
all right, guys, have a great week. Everybody have the belief. Bye, cheers,
Oh, get me cocktails. Woo. I'm Wendy, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Astra, and I'm Danielle.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
And we are Tails over Cocktails.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Where the stories are real.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
The laughs are loud, and there's always something to sip on.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hey, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's a weekly mix of absolute chaos, cocktails and way
too honest conversations. Pull up a chair and for something.
It's about to get fun.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Whoa oh, that's our cueue.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I know I love it, obviously, Welcome to the pod.
Before we start, we have to remind everyone to give
us a little follow on Instagram at Tails over Cocktails
because we are still trying to build. We haven't reached
our one thousand mark that we wanted to yet.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I don't know where everybody is. We're sleeping.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
We all got snowed in.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
I feel like the more people were on social media,
the more opportunities they had to go give us a
little follow.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Racked with us a bit exactly. I don't know what
you're waiting for. Run over there and tap that little
follow button.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It's very simple.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Why do I look like the ghost of Christmas Past?
We're pasting out some video right now. I don't know
if this is ever gonna see the light of day.
But do you see what is going on?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
You look fine?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Yeah, look at me. I look like a hot mess.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Look at me, I look like a hot mess. You
guys look great. By the way, How do we feel
about recording from home? I actually like it. I'm not
gonna lie. Is it giving pandemic? Yeah, it kind of is.
But you want to know something, it's it gives us
the ability to do it at any time that we
want to now, and we don't have to feel.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Rushed, right, yeah, because you know, Danielle, not to point fingers.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
But you are always running into a meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
You always have a nine thirty, ten o'clock and then
I'm always running late and it just and I'm already there,
so I'm just.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Waiting on you guys. So at the end of the day,
it's like I feel like when we do it in
the evening, we're also like pump up from the day.
We're like ready to go. In the morning, we're still
kind of waking up. You know, girl, I'm ready to
go to bed. I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't talk about going to bed. I'm the one that's
up early. Out of this whole crew. Okay, no, no,
no, no no no.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Ever since Ali's fiasco, we now get up a whole
hour earlier because that's when he.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Wants to get up and eat and what time you up?
Speaker 3 (02:19):
So it used to be like around six fifteen out
it's it's not a whole hour five forty two.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Oh okay, don't shut if I'm up at five am,
Oh okay, all right. Mm hmm. He's like, it's time, girl,
get up.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
You need to feed me, and I'm I'm happy to
do it because of our whole six months of January
was so traumatic. I'm just happy he wants to eat
and I will. I will get up at any time
he wants to give his boy food.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
I when I go to work, I wake up at
five o'clock when I'm coming into the office morning showing.
But yeah, but now I sleep a little bit later
and then i'll i'll I'll wake up at like six
thirty seven, and then I'll i'll fall back to sleep
because I'm like a couple of hours.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
It's your foot, that's you know, handling everything right now?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh gosh, I so today I stubbed my toe really badly.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
The toe you had surgery on, Yeah, the foot foot?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Uh that I had to run to the doctor because
of Yeah, I mean I'm in I'm in excruciating pain.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Wait did the did the little needle thing fall out?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
No, it pushed in more.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Yeah, so I went to the doctor. She had to
wiggle it out a little bit.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And uh. Yeah, So they are you taking like advil
or yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, advil?
Speaker 1 (03:50):
That's it. You need perks if they don't do that anymore,
that they never want to get I.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Was on oxy coaton for four days and I got
rid of them.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I saw them in the garbage.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
They make you constipated.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
Yeah, I felt like I gave birth when I went
to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
And I've never given birth before, but that day I
felt like I gave birth.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Now you know what birth feels like, and I don't
even know.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
So question, do you feel, Danielle, like you're missing out
a little bit?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
You feel a little bit of fomo not being in
the office.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I do miss being in the office, but she's still
doing work. Yeah, I'm still doing work and I can't
drive yet.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
So so how do you get to the doctor you're ubering?
Speaker 2 (04:37):
No, I have my friend bring me. Oh okay, yeah, yeah, so.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Thank god she she actually works at night, so she
brought me to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah. I was there for a couple of hours because
you know, I just ran over there.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
No appointment, no appointment, so goodness, yeah I was.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I don't know. I was just in so much pain
and I'm still in so much pain.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
And that's why. I mean, I got messages too. We
were talking earlier. People were like, you weren't so talkative
on the pod last.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Week, and I'm sorry to call you out on that
because I felt like, I hope we weren't talking all
over you and I know that there was an issue
with the microphone and that's okay, surgery. We never want
to make you feel excluded in anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
No, no, no, I just I just don't feel well.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I think she was just so high on like pills
that she was kind of just listening. Why you're hanging
out of her feet. No, but she's listening to us
like she's like, oh, let me listen to this podcast.
Oh wait, I'm on it.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
But no, you know, and I feel bad because you
know me, I like to chime in and be silly
and talk. Yeah, I like to talk a lot, so
I'm sorry to our listeners and new ladies.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
That's all right, I'm just myself.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But we did a lot of talking last week, and
obviously you could always go back and listen to that pod.
I do want to kind of read group off something
that I was talking about last week. Have you guys
ever met someone whose intentions were genuine but the ability
to show up just wasn't there?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Absolutely? Oh absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Everybody's a big old liar.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
They say something and they think they mean it right there,
and I't necessarily trying to swindle you.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Right. Sometimes people could be overwhelmed, stress shut down. You know.
They might like you, but liking you is not the
same as being able to show up for you, you know.
So I kind of wanted to just kind of get
into this a little bit so that we can like
wrap up what we were talking about. But sometimes the
strongest thing that you can do is accept the answer
that somebody gives you, even when it's kind of like
wrapped up in kindness. Okay, So basically what happened last week,
(06:40):
which I said, go back to the pod and listen,
I have to say everything that transpired is all about
timing capacity and self awareness and the right person. You know,
the right person doesn't just like you. They have to
have room for you at the end of the day.
So what I will say moving forward is I will
not be talking about any other relationship or hard launching
(07:01):
any good news on this dating front until I have
a ring on my finger, because if I ever decide
to date again, I'm going to realize that, you know,
I have to realize first if I know how to date,
because this is something that I've actually been thinking about.
I don't know how to date. I know, I've brought
this up before on the pod, and it kind of
wants I kind of want to branch off on something
because as you guys know, like I'm a big hopeless romantic,
(07:23):
I'm a big lover girl. Like you know, it's rare
necklace right there, right yeah, love, which it's so funny.
I've actually had people ask me like, oh, did a
boyfriend buy that for you? No, I bought it for
myself because like I love love, you know, and it's rare.
And you guys know this that I ever like someone.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
So you know, I started thinking very valent I'm like
wearing all black and you're all valan red.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
We're all in red right now. I know. I actually
was starting to wonder if maybe I had come on
too strong or too fast, And that's something that I
definitely didn't mean to do. I just got super excited
and wanted to genuinely know, you know, get to know
this person, because, as you guys know, I've been head
on the inside like dead. So when you wake up
your heart, it's like you get you get alive for
(08:06):
the first time. I mean, I'm sure a lot of guys. Yeah,
I'm sure you guys have gone through that too, cause
it's like, you know, we've all been like, you know,
if we're not with somebody for a while, it's like
you just I don't know. I always tell people I'm
like black hearted, Like I just am kind of like
cold and empty, and you know, so it's like when
somebody like sparks you, it's like, oh my god, this
is so great, and like you get super excited. So
sometimes I start to wonder, like, did I maybe come
(08:27):
on too strong?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
I think you need to give yourself some grace. I
don't think it has anything to do with you. I
really don't. I think if anything, you're very self realized.
I think you've been upfront, honest with everyone you meet
about your needs, about what you're looking for. And if
you know that's not the right fit for someone that
has nothing to do with you, it's not on you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
And also if you get mixed messages from anyone, that's
another thing that's that's not your fault.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
So give yourself some grace.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, give me grace.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
So I've been like doing a little research on dating,
like what are the rules on dating? Like how long
should you be dating somebody? Are you finally going to
date more than one person at a time?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
You on the Bachelor next Daniel, you know, let's get
it on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
You need to date twenty five? Oh my gosh. No,
yes you.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
And I commented on that post today Chris Harrison post.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh, yes, he's looking, he's doing it dating that he's back. Yes,
he's going to be posting this dating show and they're
looking for people the Bachelor.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
No, it's totally totally different.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
He's looking for people who are looking to date with
intention and get married. What was the wording? It was
like a traditional marriage? Okay, call Chris, do you have
his number?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I should you know what I'm going to try to summon,
but always I have Carson dailies.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
I just want to I just want to put this
out here. I started trying to educate myself on like
the proper rules of dating, and from what I'm seeing,
people say that you should give it about three months
and that would include consistent communication, texting or talking at
least once or twice a day, and then seeing each
other at least once or twice a week as time progresses.
So maybe I was trying to get a little ahead
of myself. And again I'm not trying to say that
(10:12):
I'm blaming myself for anything. I just, like I said,
was awoken that I'm like, wow, this this feels so great,
Like why would I not want to see this person
and talk to this person and hang out with this person.
But then it's like maybe I need to learn, right,
maybe I need to learn how to slow it down
and like space it out because you don't really know
somebody for a while. And I also feel like maybe
(10:36):
I wasn't putting my whole like I like my representative
wasn't fully me at the end of the day because
I was like so excited that I'm trying to jam
pack everything in that maybe it was like, holy crap,
like overload too much. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I think at our age too, everyone's got something going
on in their life and we only have so much
bandwidth right right. And I'm not making excuses for anybody
out there, because I think if you show up wanting
to date, like you should be ready so that you're
not inconveniencing anyone. But I think you know, you have
so much bandwidth and then to allow And this is
(11:12):
why I don't date, to allow.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Another person in right, And so it's a lot, it's work.
It actually is work, it is see, and that's why
I feel the whole dating thing. That's why I don't
like dating. I feel like if you go out on
a date once or twice, you should know if you
still want to keep hanging out with that person or
not after like the second date, if you're just not
feeling them, then just like let it go, you know,
because when you're going through more and on a longer
(11:35):
period of time, you're building more feelings, not love, but
you're feeling you know, you're getting feelings, You're getting invested
in this person. You want to know more. You want
to get the vulnerability start to you know, like I
personally opened up like and started to share and be
a different person than I've ever been in other like relationships.
To be honest with you, like, I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Wait, what is the longest conversation you've had on the
phone somebody with someone?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I'll be like, getting to know me. I do love
to talk, but I mean I would say, maybe, well,
you know what it was, scaled back a little bit,
I would say it was probably like maybe thirty forty minutes.
I guess it's yeah. And here's the thing. When I
was younger, I remember I would lay on my floor
in my room and be talking for hours till the
(12:23):
sun came up, like I was that first, and that
would be like yeah, yeah that you know, you become
like best friends with somebody. And that's kind of what
I think I would want. And that's why for me
and what works for me is conversation, talking, getting to
know and spending more time as opposed to not talking.
When I When I when I don't talk to someone,
that's when I start to think, like maybe they're not interested,
(12:46):
because they do say when someone is very interested, they're
going to go that extra mile to always make sure
to talk to you, check in with you, because you
can't go twenty four hours without talking to somebody that
you like, right, It's just natural. I mean even my friends,
Like it's not some of my friends, like we're texting
all day long, you know, and if we go even
a day without talking, I feel like something's missing, you know. Yeah,
(13:07):
I always I text my friends and I'm like proof
of life. Just check it in, make sure you're like right, Like, hey,
you good, because like if I don't hear from my
best friend and we talk all day long, but it's like,
it's funny because that's why I love texting, because it's
like you can text and then you could just stop
and then you just can all tell you you can
do other things at the same time, right, you can.
It's not as disrupted. You're not on a phone call
(13:28):
or on a FaceTime where you're like I have to
get this person one hundred percent attention. Like you can't
be like cleaning your house while somebody's on the phone.
They're gonna be like, what the hell are you doing.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
So I will say with this whole situation with dating,
seeing you of all people get anxious because of this
like withdrawal. That's when I felt like something was really off.
And again, like I know, you're very aware of your
issue and you're wanting to be connected quite to somebody, right,
(13:58):
But you also have a point that when you're dating
someone and you're getting to know them and things are
going well.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That you want to watch the momentum going. You want
to keep the momentum going. Yeah, right, and you show
up so you know. And what's crazy is like thinking
about past relationships, which obviously, like I said, I've been
single seven years now, so it's like hard to think
back that far. But I do know that when I
would be dating or I can't even say dating because
like that was the thing I never dated. It was
always it just turned into a boyfriend. So like relate
(14:25):
my past relationships. It's just I personally can't stand if
like I'm not talking to that person or checking in
with that person. But I also don't want to be
like questioned or like there's certain like things that will
start to trigger, you know, like and I mean that
wasn't even like I have to say, this was probably
one of the most mature things, and it was a
(14:46):
little step out of my own comfort zone. I was
able to actually express how I'm feeling and things that
I want that would make me feel I've never done
that before, so that was like my vulnerability coming out.
And that's the very growth. That's great.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I was just gonna say, that's growth. That's maturity. That's
being aware of your emotions.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
And not being afraid to say what you want. I
feel like again, we talked about you always being the
fixer and the giver and the hand instead of trying
to squish yourself into someone else's box and the mpath.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I feel everybody's feelings and pain, and I know when
something's going on, and I really like it's like a
blessing and a curse. No, it's it's definitely a curse.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I feel that one like I feel I absorb everybody's
energy and it's horrific.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But that's why, for the record, I'm going back into
my little bubble and I don't want to be bothered because,
you know why, having the ability to have my heart
rewoken and not panning out to the way that I
had envisioned or romanticized it to be, I'm like, check, please,
I'm out now.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Listen I think take a break, regroup. I think from
every experience you learn and grow. I mean, look at
I remember your ex from a million years ago, and
because of that situation, you ended up with Nyla I did.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
I was just thinking this, like everything, no.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Matter what horrific tragedy happened in the past, there's always something.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I like to think.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Sorry for the toxic positivity, but I like to think
there's always something good that comes out of it. I mean,
like you do with Ali. You end up with Ali
yours literally the same snaruation, right, yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Yeah, and now and this.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
In this case, you're learning how to communicate your needs and.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
You know what, And I have to say that is
one positive step for me. And I'm like, I'm actually
kind of proud of myself. I'm still kind of nervous
because that's it's out of my comfort zone and being
vulnerable is very, very tough for me. But I feel
that in order to have a mature relationship, you have
to be vulnerable. Yeah, and it's hard, it's so hard,
but you know, I guess it won't be hard with
(16:54):
the right person, that's right, That's right.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
Well, if we don't take a break here, Henry p
d Is going to we are going to take a break.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
You're going to take it a break. We'll take a break,
and we're going to come back with Wendy and we're back.
Oh hi, guys, I've done.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
We were you know, we were so emotionally drained the
last episode that we didn't even care about the commercials.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I know. Yeah, And it was funny when I was
listening back, I'm like, wait, we never took any commercial
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
And obviously Henry did say something and I was like,
I'm literally Allie was dying and so was I.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
So we just didn't care. But you know, if we.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Are going to start trying to sell and monetize this pod,
which would be nice, I was talking to Jody about it, like,
we're gonna have to be more mindful of these things.
So we will, Yeah, we will.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So I know you do have some stuff that you
wanted to bring up when.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
I didn't come to the table as prepared. But I
do have a couple of things, you know, in this snowstorm,
and you know, we talked about last week how I
was really struggling with my fibromyalgia. This is probably one
of the worst.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Flares I've ever had.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
I've been walking around with the cane, although I did
forget the Remember I forgot the cane this morning. You did,
the fact that I forgot it meant I didn't really
need to rely on it so much.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
So I you know, I'm proud of you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
I'm walking a little bit bottle, thank you, thank you.
I'm trying my best. It's like, I still have the
zings and the legs, but I think with these push through. Yeah,
but these temps warming up a little bit, it's it's
more tolerable. I don't I mean, I'm guessing it's weather related.
It could be anything, but I.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Mean I don't even have fibromyalga, and I can't walk
out in this weather when it's freezing. It's like painfully.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
The best way I can describe it, and this isn't
even accurate, is have you ever gotten pins and needles
where it feels painful?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Or Yeah, when you're sitting on the bowl too long, or.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
If you sit a weird way on the train and
then you get like and then it's like whoa, it
like actually hurts to move it.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, when you're sitting on the bowl too long because
you're scrolling on Instagram and TikTok as freakoutely.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
That's like the best way I can describe it. But
it's like I almost feel like I'm losing control of
my legs. That's why I had to have the mobility aid.
But I will say some people like you you were fine,
You were like, oh, you know whatever, like how are
you feeling fine? And then I would get these stairs
from certain people at.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Work, on the train, anywhere, some work. That's why I
think the stair might be because you're so young to
be using a cane and people are like, why, here's
the thing? Can I tell you?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
When people look at me that way and I'm going
to do my best impression of it, I feel like
I don't I want to leave the mobility aid at home,
even though I need it, because I just it makes
me feel a certain way, but I mean comfortable.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I'm sure this was the look? This is the look? Really?
Is it like I feel bad for you look? Or
is it I'm shocked that you're using can It's like
I feel bad for you look.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
And it's typically and I'm not saying people that we know,
but like just in general, people give me a double take.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
And it's usually the older men, usually like boomer men,
of course, and I kind of want to be like,
you know, not for nothing. I am blessed. I am
very lucky.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
This is not a an all the time things like
when I'm flaring up. But I can't imagine how people
who use mobility aids feel.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
When they old stared at all the time.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, it's horrible.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I even get the looks with my foot.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, listen, I again. I I appreciate the empathy. I
think it's like a very nice thing when people are
concerned about you and when they ask about you.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
But people get up to give you their seat, yes,
oh good.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Yes, But I usually say, usually like if I'm on
the subway, it's for one stop, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Like, no, no, it's okay. Really, I'm getting off that.
Oh that's sweet.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I think I'm too nice. I think I'm too nice.
So this was my next topic for you. Uh huh huh.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
During the snowstorm, I don't know why I decided I
was going to go try to shovel myself.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I went out.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
Needle legs, come on, yeah, I went out in the
thick of it while it was still coming down and
I did a little tiny bit and then I it
came down about an hour later, it was completely covered
everything I did. So I said, you know, this is
going to be the day that I try this shoveler app.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Have you heard of this? No?
Speaker 3 (20:57):
No, it's called here. I have it on my phone.
It's called shoveler put your address in.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
And I mean, in a big snowstorm, it's going to
be like one hundred bucks. It's not me, but you
know what, it's my it especially with them on the story.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
We got yes, and it was so I did it
too early. I got excited. I thought that the snow
was going to stop, and I was like, let me
have them come, and they literally send somebody immediately.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
So I was like, oh crap, I should have had
them come.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Like later at night or tomorrow. So the guy comes
and he comes to the door, like I did not
have to interact the thing with this app is that
you don't have to interact with people. Wow, okay, you
could just like you just pay them on the thing.
You don't even have to look at them.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Oh, they just in front of your house shoveling away.
They just yeah, snowblow they come with like a like
good equipment. They had just salt and everything.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I went up to the guy and I was like, hey,
I'm like, I'm sorry I had you come so early.
You know, how much would you charge off the app
if I needed you to come back tomorrow?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Say? And I texted you guys. This guy took that
as a come on, like you were hitting on him.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
I said, do you mind if I get your number
and consider you for when it's if it snows again?
Is he gonna give me a twenty dollars discount.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
To do off the app? Are you looking at the messages?
He was? Oh, he was sending me some. It started
off with hey, what do you do for a living?
And then he's so well. First of all, let me
ask you, was he even like remotely good looking by
any chance?
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I mean, I'm not into dudes, but yeah, for a guy.
First off, he must have been in his twenties. Okay,
so that's one. So I'm like flattered, but like weirded out.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
So now I'm like, this is where I live? First off?
Speaker 3 (22:33):
Oh no, I don't know how that was perceived as
a come on, right, I know you're literally just want
to have a contact who can do a siring.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
They did a beautiful job. By the way, I.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Hope, I hope you didn't say when can you come
back and plow me?
Speaker 1 (22:48):
She's bad? Wait it yay, wait back.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
So anyway, like I didn't really think much of it
at the time, and then the next day it clearly
needs to be shoveled again, and he messages me I'm
gonna be in the area again, I'll come do that.
And I was like, okay, fine, Like I said, his
eighty dollars still good, I'll let you know.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
So I'm like, so wait, the app charge to one
hundred and he was willing to do it for eighty eighty.
So okay, he goes, I'll let you know.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
So I was like, okay, maybe he's gonna assess and see,
like if there's not a ton of snow, maybe it'll
be less. They do it in like thirty minutes. It's
more than one person or it's just him and some
other dude. It's him and some other guys. Got it, Okay,
So he texts me about an hour later he goes,
you know what, consider this the start of our friendship
or something to that effect.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Oh yeah, take it as a gift of friendship anything.
I just finished my day. I said, absolutely not, And
I ended up venmowing him or whatever. And I was like,
I want nothing to do with this, because you don't
want to owe weird strangers anyow. No, not at all.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Yeah, so he's gonna ask you to blow him instead
of you.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
You gotta stop doing that. Oh wait a second, wait
a second, I need I need to say, So you
sent us these screenshots?
Speaker 2 (24:06):
How do I go?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
How do you go from the text to the whats app?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Why is he talking to you on my phone?
Speaker 2 (24:13):
No, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
That was the part that weirdened me out, because first
off I blocked him because you know, you can look
at my messages. I was like, you did a beautiful job.
May keep you in mind every time it snows. And
then it was like about the money, and then.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Uh, right, you're being very professional about it. Thanks.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
I hope we can can keep talk if you don't mind.
And then oh, I told him I was married. I said,
I don't think my husband would like that husband I
was gonna have like Becca.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Meanwhile, he's probably thinking what husband he'd be out here shoveling.
I told him I told him he was stuck in
the city. Okay, I said, oh, you know, thank you.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
I'm like, now we'll have to place the park, thank
you very much. I don't think anything of it. The
next day, I get a message on WhatsApp, which I
don't even use, so now I'm a little weirded out.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
And he says, I'm sorry to bother you, but can
I tell you something? What I have to tell you?
He's like, I blocked him. No, you know what he
has to tell you that he drove by your house
again and never saw your husband's car in the driveway,
so he's gonna say, where's your husband? Now?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
We use one car.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
That is my theme song. I swear I love that
song so much. I keep saying I'm going to keep
playing it and posting it and manifesting until I get
my husband and my ring and my child and everything
that I want. But anyway, back to my day, Sorry
about it. That's pretty much all I digress.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh no, I keep I keep running into these weird issues,
Like anytime there's trouble to be found, I find it.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
I love it. No, yeah, we do have one more
topic for you to mention. I know we wanted to
talk about it. Yeah, we were discussing this, you know,
this one. But she has to she has to jump
in on this. Yeah, I want to take on it.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
So you know, I'm not really I'm not interested in
dating at all. We've kind of touched upon sexuality stuff.
This has nothing to do with sexuality at all. How
do we feel about lavender marriages?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Do you know what that is? I love it.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I know lavender. I spray on my pillow. What's a
lavender marriage?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
A lavender marriage is when a straight woman marries a
gay man and they cohabitate, they have children, partnership it is,
it's a partnership, but they all they have their own
separate lives, so it's like he still can have his guys,
she can still have her guys, but they live together.
So they live under one roof together. They tax bands together. Yep,
(26:32):
they have children. They have a whole family, so it's
like they have the mother and father for the kids.
And if anybody, if they do start dating someone, let's
just say they learn how to incorporate them into the
dynamic that they run.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
You'll think about how expensive it is to live these days.
I mean to think about most of the country had
their healthcare. Their cost go through the roof. Rents across
New York City and everywhere, really beyond beyond. I won't
even ask how much both of your rents are.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And that's the thing we're all like, wehn, do you
have a mortgage? There's rent. There is something called the
single tax. And you know what's interesting is that.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
We all pay it, all of us, the single tax. Yes,
because we're not splitting our expenses with anybody. We're keeping
ourselves alive on a single income. In this world, in
this universe is no, we're.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
All sinks to sale income no.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Kids in this economy, I think you need to make
like two hundred thousand dollars to live, and.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's why you need to be a dink double income
no kids, or if you add kids into the mix,
because you have a lavender marriage, I mean, why not?
And you want to know what's so funny? When Wendy
brought up a lavender marriage thing to me, I immediately said,
it's funny you should say that. I've been considering that
because I do have a friend who is well he
says he's interested in doing that with me. He is
(27:52):
very good looking, he is gay, he wants to have kids,
he's an orthodontist. He's one of my friend's best friends.
He was actually my partner in my friend's wedding, and
he had a gay wedding. So I was like, you know,
this dating is just not working out for me. Maybe
I need to be in a lavender marriage.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Wouldn't it be nice to come home and just sit
down and watch a show with someone.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
But there's no bullshit, there's.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
No expectations, there's no weird. I mean, I guess you
could fight with anybody. You could fight with, your girlfriend,
you could fight with but just knowing that if you
find someone who is responsible enough to and reliable enough
to split expenses, but your partner to be someone who
you know is your best friend and.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Your ear and your other half.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
And because listen, it's not like you're missing the sex
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Like and see, Danielle is probably like, hell no, I
want to get plowed blow back here. Yeah, I would
consider it, you know, especially with the way that the
dating landscape's been in this and this day and age
and all the videos that keep popping up on Instagram
and and TikTok about how everybody's like dating sucks, and
(29:01):
if you're married or in a relationship, hold on to
the person you're with, even if you guys are fighting.
Make it work. Like I say that all the time
because it's like it's rough on these streets. People can't
afford it.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It is rough. It is rough.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
I mean kind of people are staying in relationships just
for the economy, right.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
But you know what, and like I said, I'm a
lover girl. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love love, but
if love doesn't want to love me back, I got
to figure out what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Listen, I was married for a while and I could
have stayed, but I was. It just wasn't working.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
And that's the thing. You don't want to force something
that's not right.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
And we're still friends. We talk all the time, but
like I think we're just better off friends. And then
it's like, I don't think I could technically marry my
gay friend to cohabitate with.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
I don't know, really, I mean, we could live together.
I ain't marrying him.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I mean, you know, you don't have to get married.
It could just be called a lavender marriage because you
guys are kind like sharing things. But you could go
through it. I mean, it'd be a fun party, that's
for sure. Imagine that wedding reception. It would be a
fun time.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I'm never getting married again.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Really, I don't want anybody in my house. Everyone who
says that, everyone who's been married says they will never
get married again.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
What's the point?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Like it's so overrated? I feel like it's such an
old fast what it's an old fashioned idea. If we
are with partners, it's because we choose to be right
and because they add value to what you already bring
to your own table. And that's how I feel like.
That's why I always say for someone to come in
to my energy and my space and my life, you
(30:38):
better be coming with something that's, you know, equal to
or better then that I'm already doing for myself.
Speaker 3 (30:44):
You know, there was something else that we were talking
about behind the scenes. I feel that a lot of
men sis men are sometimes intimidated by a successful independent woman.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I think that that's very true. And you want to
know something, I've seen it happen a lot because once
a guy starts talking to you and they they see
that you're like a triple threat, Like they're like, hold
up a second, you're pretty, you're smart, you make good money,
you carry yourself while you you speak so well like
because they usually see a pretty girl, they think that
she's an airhead. Or they'll see an ugly girl and
they'll think that she's smart. So it's like you never
(31:18):
have like everything in one like, but when you're like
the full package, for some reason, guys get intimidated. But
then I've also met other guys that are like, no,
I want a strong independent woman. I don't get intimidated
by that. And I said, well, then you need to
start teaching a lot of these men out there, because
most of them are a lot of men that do
feel intimidated by a strong independent woman.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
They will try to bring them down right because they
don't want to feel emasculated by right. And it'll be
it'll it'll like if you have someone with narcissistic tendencies.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It starts off small.
Speaker 3 (31:47):
Like just a little bit of gaslights, oh, little digs
just bring just to bring it down a notch, to
knock you down, trying to humble you.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
But meanwhile, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm gonna humble you right now.
Speaker 4 (31:59):
Yeah, Oh I have gray hair coming in, Oh I
had a pimple.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Oh what is this pinch in my set? Get out
of here?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
You know what, back in the in the early two thousands,
I had a boyfriend like that.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
It did awful.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
He was literally the worst person you could ever ever,
ever imagine.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Just just be like, oh what's this? What's that? You know,
just to feel yeah, yeah, And we've all encountered those
type of guys. And that's what I feel, chips away
at our own self worth at times, which is why
when you try to get into a healthy relationship, you
end up getting those triggers because for some reason, you've
already been gas lit. And like I think for you,
(32:38):
I think for.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
You specifically is like when people pull back on communication.
Somebody did that to you, and and that's where that
fear comes.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
From, right, And it's like, you know, it's so funny.
I try to think, like why do I feel this
way when I know it's not really like I should
not be giving someone the power to make me feel sad, broken,
upset When it's like why, like why am I doing that?
It's like I can't even pinpoint what it is. I
don't think it's even about them.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
I think it's about it, it's about past trauma, it's
about experiences. Like for Dee and I, I think that
we're triggered by people being overly critical of us.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
I've lived with excees too, so like we've all had
like cohabitating people and it's just sometimes too when people
are within your space, they get a little too comfortable
and they say things that you know, words hurt at
the end of the day, and they people say, like,
you know, you got to watch what you say to
people because you never know how many times they're going
to be replaying that in their head. And that's what
(33:34):
causes people to be broken. And it's hard to like
repair after you've been broken down by somebody so bad
you think you've buried it or you think you've worked
through it, and then it's like it just kind of
comes back. It gets better.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
It does, because I think I'm so much more satisfied
being by myself and being able to entertain myself.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
I actually enjoyed being home.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Now, well, let's take a quick break. We're gonna come
back and talk with Danielle because we've got to catch
up on her foot and everything else.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Hey, so I know we briefly touched upon your feet
or we didn't really touch your feet couci coo feet.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I get my stitches out next week and I booked
my right foot for April seventh. Two.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
How are you gonna go through this other? Yes?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
I just I just have to get them done, you know,
before the summer.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
How's how's the shaving situation? Because I know you were
concerned that you think that you're like, leg is gonna
be hairy?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Wait? Can I just tell you? Last night, I'm on
the phone my sister. I was like, law, you.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Gotta see how hairy my leg is under here.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
She goes, why don't you shave it?
Speaker 4 (34:45):
I'm like, because I can't get a wet But I
used something today and I shaved.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
What did you use I used?
Speaker 4 (34:52):
I used, you know, the the derma.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Thing, that Derma planet.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yes, yeah, so I used that on my my leg.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Oh my gosh, Why does it matter?
Speaker 4 (35:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
I hate hair.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah, but with this weather right now, at least you
got a perfect sock on.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Yeah, So I shave. Oh man, I was just like, oh,
get it off of me.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
So you are So the next surgery is for April,
you said.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
April seventh, So uh, I have to I have to
be ready for a jump starts to summer for u
Z one hundred, So that is always memory all day weekend,
and so my stitches will come out the Tuesday before
(35:41):
like that really cutting a cloth.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Ye, and then I took it.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
You're gonna be pretty healed.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, yeah, I'll be pretty healed.
Speaker 4 (35:49):
And then also my birthday is the following week, so
I took off that whole week.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
So you just don't don't be breaking legs dancing because
we don't need you, like laying up with your day feet.
Do you feel like it already? You know how to
manage it a little bit better and how to be
a little bit more.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, I just gotta I just gotta be careful and
not stub my toe. I stubbed my foot three times.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And today was the hardest time.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
I just how did you stop? Like what happened?
Speaker 4 (36:18):
So I have an island in my apartment, and uh,
I went to get the garbage and I misjudged my
toe and I hit the edge of the island and
I was screaming, cursing everything, and I was like I
can't feel my toe.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
I can't feel my toe. Oh my god. I call
my friend. She picks me up.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
We run over to the doctor's office. The doctor is like,
give me some time, all right. Line from sitting there
like messaging people working at the same time, and she
was just like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
She wiggled the thing a little, the wire and yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
It hurts. My toes are perfectly fun right now.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
But but also on Tuesday, I got in, I got
clearer liners.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So from my face to my feet, I'm gonna be.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
To the toes now. You just got to work on
the boobs. Yeah, you need to do anything. I know
you don't. She's saying she wants to do boobs.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I'm like, why, I'm coming for you.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Yeah, but you know I did mine and then I
took them out.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
Well, look up motiva with the preserve a uh incision.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
It's very small it, you know, it's just look it up.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Taking their their implants out right. They want xplant because
you know why it causes like implant illness. Like I'll
tell you, like, I mean, I had we know what
we do. I had I think that I didn't have it,
but I had the mind in for ten years, and
there were times where it's like they would be very uncomfortable.
I remember really like a pinch, Like there'd be times
I'd be laying a specific way. Wait, so where did
(38:06):
they put them when they took them out, they they'd
like discard them, I guess. But then what they did
was I mind you home and with a baggy of boomsack. No,
but they took my fat and put it back in.
So my boobs now are real because they have my
real fat in them. What. Yeah, I had, I had
(38:27):
fat transfer. So I had LiPo done to take out that. Yeah,
he did. So he took it out of my stomach,
my flanks, my back like I did LiPo three sixty.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I was in a lot of pain. Oh my gosh,
it was painful. You know what pain is beauty and
beauty is pain. That's what I always say whenever I
get anything done that can dissolve. So like where Yes,
So what they do is they overfill your boobs because
they know that your fat is going to deplete. So
they say that it holds up to about sixty percent
and depletes forty. However, here was my issue. Back in
(38:58):
the day. I did used to go to the gym.
Pole don't believe me, but I did. I used to
go to the gym. I actually did, and because you
know why, because I hate the gym.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I hate.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I hate. Well, this is why I hate the gym.
I'm gonna explain why I hate the gym now now
now the truth comes out. The reason why I hate
the gym is because when I used to go to
the gym, it wasn't working. I even got a trainer,
I tried to lose weight. Nothing was helping me. I
was just gaining weight. So I'm just like, you know what,
let me just get the light bo because I'm having
a problem toning my stomach, like it just was not
tightening up. So he lightpoed me out. Everything is tight toned,
(39:27):
pulled in everything, and he puts the fat in the boobs.
So I'm like, oh my gosh, these boobs are so big. There'
as big as my implants. Like the reason why I
took out the implants because I wanted them smaller. He's like, well,
don't worry, you're gonna lose some of it. Well, I
never lost any of it, because I told you I
wasn't able to lose weight in the gym, so that
fat from my stomach that was now in my boobs
wasn't going anywhere. So I'm just like, how on earth,
(39:50):
Like do I need to get lightpo on my boobs
now to get with my boobs down? But luckily, now
that I have lost weight, my boobs have gone down
because I've lost fat, so everything is coming down now
and I'm actually happy. I don't know where. I guess
your body just melts it down, but either way, like,
I'm so happy now at the size of my boobs,
Like they are not those gigantic melons that they once were.
(40:13):
They were melons.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
Man.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
I have pictures. I look at my old pictures and
I'm like, damn, I was all boob. I try not
to follow.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
These trends because every couple of years things change. You know,
first we have the thin eyebrows and then we're tattooing
them back on, and I know then it was all
about big bush and then it's like, oh these.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Small big butt, now small butt now that people want
Kim Kardashian. Now they don't want Kardashian.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Like.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
I can't keep up either, But.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
It's just easier to not do anything at all, you know,
and sometimes I sit back and I'm like, why did
I ever go through all this, like all the money
I've spent on my body, you know, like boobs in,
boobs out, Like I'm over it.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
But at the end of the day, though, I'm always
happy with the way that I look. So it's like
I'm happy at for that moment, and then when I
need to change something, I change it. You know. That's
why I'm a big advocate for people that want to
do anything. Like I hate when people are like, don't
get this done, don't do that. Do what makes you happy.
That's what I said something to D I said something
the other day like you don't need it and whatever.
(41:11):
Do what you want. Do what makes you happy, right,
you gotta do it makes you happy.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
You don't need it, you just need money.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, but you know what, that's why I said, do
the fat transfer, because at least it's your own fat.
Like when you put a foreign object in, you're taking
the risk of it potentially rejecting. That's all. So you
just got to think about those things.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Well, I don't really have a lot of fat on me,
so the only way only thing is like my thighs
and inner thighe that's about it.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Otherwise you'll have nice sculpted inner thighs and nice boobs.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
I'll talk to Tarani when I go see him.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
See what he could do. He could squeeze that a
little extra.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Eh, let's squeeze it baby.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
All right, guys, we're coming up on Yeah, we're coming
up on forty five minutes or so, so I know
it's one of the longer ones. We should probably give
out our socials and remind everybody to throw as a
follow if they would.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
So, of course you can find me on the Gram
and on TikTok and everywhere else, at Astra on the air,
and I'm Wendy Wild.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Radio, and I'm at Danielle DeLillo.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
And of course together we're tails over Cocktails cocktail. Get
allow over there, because you know, we need to get
our following count up to at least one thousand. Oh yeah,
all right, guys, have a great week. Everybody have the belief. Bye, cheers,
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Dateline NBC
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