January 7, 2026 • 25 mins
This episode is a full cocktail of chaos and character. Astra takes us inside her New Year’s Eve in Times Square, because yes… she actually did it (VIP-style.) Then we get an update on Francois “Blue Eyes” (the saga continues), plus Danielle’s Bumble + billboard era because she’s officially a woman making an impact. And Wendy shares a moment where she had to gently shut someone down — but now she’s wondering if she said too much trying to be nice.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh, get me cocktails. I'm Wendy, I'm Astra.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Danielle and we are Tails over Cocktails. Yeah.
The stories are real, the laps.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Are loud, and there's always something to sit on.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hey, how you doing. It's a weekly mix of absolutely
chaos cocktails and way too honest conversations.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Pull up a chair and pour something. It's about to
get fun. Way sho is.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Num and might make you a potty mouna. I love
being a.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Potty mail Happy New Year Happy Because when we start,
I do want to let everybody know that they should
be following us on our Instagram page at Tails over
Cocktails because I'm trying to get us to build it
up as quick as we can. So tell a friend
to tell a friend to follow us.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah, tell all your friends.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Everyone should be following us. I want us to reach
a thousand within a week if we can.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I think we can do that.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I think we could do I think we could just
keep what he's like a thousand, maybe like six hundred?
Yeah maybe yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Because I never read about like close how many friends
you got.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I've got a lot of friends.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I've got a lot of friends too. It's just a
matter of convincing them to follow us back.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm gonna tell them I'll give you.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Right now, we're almost at six hundred. Oh okay, so
I a thousand.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, I think we can.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I think we can do it.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I don't realize how many followers we had.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, I know, remember we only had one.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Follower, No, we had three. It was us three started
being to West and Adriana.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I know they have a Puppyney Barney. His last name
was a Nastis.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well let's recap. What did we do for New Year's
even our well, our New Year's break, I should say,
in our holiday break.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Well, Wendy was off the week of the fifteenth.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yes, really, I think, and then I was back here
right and I was off for two weeks.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I was off for two weeks.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh my god. It was so tough coming back.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I know, today is my first day back. And I
was like.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Dragging ass, dragging ass, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Like you forgot what you did, what you do for
a living.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
No, I actually forgot that I had a job. I
was like, I'm glad that I'm getting a paycheck and
I'm not working, Like, how do I sign up for
this life? How can I just never work but get
money deposited into my account?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, like a sugar daddy.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, I'm looking for one if anyone has one.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
For three of them, okidding.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I've been I want to join sugar Daddy meat dot com.
Oh my gosh, could you imagine.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I could, because you probably juggle about three or four
of them. You'd have all the bills paid.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
My god, I wish it'd be awesome. He looks amazing.
By the way, I haven't seen you since oh before Christmas.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, Breed did it for me.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It looks so good.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I made a doc.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Thank you? Should I say, ladies and everybody doing okay?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
So I did the New Year's eve ball drop like
we talked about.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
So lucky.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I had the NYPD police escort. Big shout out to
my boy Jude, and also to Sergeant Leave taking care
of all that. I know.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I love sergeantly.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, I don't know Sergeant.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I don't know either. I like James. Yeah, it just
sounds very efficial. Yea is the fast.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Jude is the best. We had great views. It was incredible,
and you next year you need to I feel like
it's a tradition. Now I've just been doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
But how was it facing the crowd? Though?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
There there you're when you're being police escorted in, there
is no crowd. You're passing by the crowd. You're like
waving to them, like hi everybody, but they're like, who
is that? Is that someone famous?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
We are, We're just special. We're VVIP.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah. I was supposed to go with my friend because
her husband works for NYPD, but they the police commissioner apparently.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Oh yes, not to do it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yep, there was Yep, there was a whole big thing
I heard about. We had to get there at ten thirty,
and that's unheard of. Normally we get there like eleven thirty,
eleven forty five. You walk in and out usually usually
this time. And I'm not gonna lie. My toesies were cold.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I was out jacket, I.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Was layered up. I had I had thermal leggings with
jeans on top. I had two shirts and a sweatshirt
plus my Canada Goose jacket, plus my shoes, hat, gloves, scarfs,
and I was still still cold.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
I think it was actually and I don't have the
stat in front of me. But I think it was
actually the coldest New Year that we've.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Seen in No, I wouldn't say so amount of years.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I remember though, the year of twenty seventeen into eighteen
there was a big blizzard because I was in Thailand
at that time.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So I was.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Like, everyone back at the ball today, Oh my god.
But yeah, that was.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Still if you think, but that was almost ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Wow, sod.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, this was probably the coldest New Year's Eve we've
seen in like maybe nine years.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
True. I will say my toes and my fingers they
had to defrost when I got home. I was like
Mariah carried defrost.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I just want to bring something up. I don't know
if you ladies also have of circulation issues. Last night
and actually just lately, I've noticed it's so much worse.
I cannot get my feet and my fingers to warm up. Really,
they feel like they're going to fall off. I have
such trouble with temperature regulation. Really don't know if it's
related to anything else. It might be the weather. I mean,
(05:17):
I'm like this all the time. Oh, even in the summer. Sometimes, Yeah,
I like I'm in an ac room. I will have trouble.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Maybe you need to get those foot in hand warmer.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I was just wondering about that. I was on Amazon
last night with the heated socks with them that I'm
wondering if.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Anybody else for a friend of mine really and they
worked great because he loved to ski.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
And by the way, I do have another update. I
tried acupuncture. Oh that did not go well. Oh no,
it was so painful. Is it supposed to hurt?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Where did you go? No?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I went to one of like one of the high
most highly rated acupunctures on Long Island and it was
the most excruciating feeling. Not all of the needles of
the one in my forehead, I guess because we're used
to go there. But I was like, why does this
hurt so much? He had to remove half the needles.
I couldn't tolerate them. He put one in my hand
(06:10):
and I was actually immediate tears.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
No way, Oh, I love the one. I put them
in my hands.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh my god, it feels great. I feel like your
sensory is just overheightened.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Is that what that is? Maybe someone else and I
know that. Actually, do you know Diane Gardner? Yes, she's
one of our listeners and she.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, I'm friends with her son.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
She's so sweet. When I posted about this on my story,
she reached out and was like, Wendy, it should not.
She talks like you. She does, Wendy, but like a
grandma version. Diane. God, Diane, Wendy is Diane. Acupuncture should
not be hurting you. It shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I'm sure she didn't say hurting. She said, Wendy drawling.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Wait, I have the voicemail.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh my god, should not be hurting you?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, yeah, eat any pain? And yeah, so like she
sounds a little bit like you.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
She's pronouncing her Oh, I don't pronounce my eyes. But
that's so funny, Diane, punk should not be hard and
you exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Well, we'll give it another go and see, but yeah,
it may not be the therapy for me. My good.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So yeah, so let's what's been going on with everybody?
We gotta do like a quick catch up.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I know, I want to hear about this. Was it
tinder no bumbo?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Dan yell on a day?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Sweet, Oh my god. We had the best time. Went
to Fushimi and Brooklyn who picked the place he did
because I don't know anything in Brooklyn except.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Pez you went to. So he lives in Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
No, he lives on Staten Island, but he's from Canos.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Did like me meet halfway and you met me halfway?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Oh, let's do that today. Yeah. We had a really
nice time. He's so nice. We talked for like three
and a half hours. What an nice man.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I didn't want to leave, but I had to wake
up early the next day to like babysit six o'clock
in the morning. I had to wake up early. But
we had such a great time chatting for three and
him as we're going through like my marriage and then
my breakup recently and his exes and you know, just
putting everything out there.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Just can I just say for a second, it seems
like you two on your first date really scratched like
surface level and beyond. Yeah, you went and you actually
went a little bit deeper.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Because I was just talking to Astra yesterday.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Right, I need to learn those those skills skills, Yeah,
because I just like to get to know a person.
I don't go digging deep like I'm a digger.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I dig deep.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
But did you feel like he was also digging too?
A little bit or yeah, just naturally, but like.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
It just naturally, like the conversation just flowed naturally.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I mean, I'm all about building a friendship before a relationship. Personally,
I'd rather be with someone first before jumping into a relationship,
because I find when you jump into the relationship and
then you're starting to learn the person as you go,
you might realize this isn't somebody I really like anymore. Yeah,
so I'd rather start to know them and slowly.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Okay, you know, I'm like, I just want to hear
it all.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, but I just like say, you don't know that much,
like do you what what's Francois's favorite color? I don't know,
like his eyes.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I was gonna say maybe blue, like his eyes, but
I don't that. I mean, listen, who's gonna ask that
on a first date?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
What's your favorite color?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Nice to meet you?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But is he out?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
What's your favorite color? Perfect?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You know?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
But I do that next time.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I mean listen, I would ask, you know, do you
have brothers, sisters? Things like that, like are you you know,
are you looking to ever get married? You want to
have kids?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Like?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Those are things I do talk about.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Did you talk about that yet.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It's nice you speak about that with Francois.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I did. But you know, it's not like I'm gonna
be digging like. I'm not like his therapist.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I'm not gonna be like so sitting.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Back with a pet and pad, like, tell me about
your childhood growing up, let me hear what are your
quirks in life.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I've read that when someone discloses such personal information so
early off the bat, it can be a red flag.
That's what I think, to you and play they can
use that information to manipulate you. It's like narcissistic.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It is because you know why. Also, if you do
put out too much, then people are going to try
to build that dream person around.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What you like and dislike.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
You might say I don't like guys or I don't
like girls that do X y Z. So now if
that's something you do, you're not going to do it.
So now you're kind of already putting it out there.
I'd rather let that person show me who they are
and I'll decide from there if I want to continue
going or not.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
But also, if someone tells you about something horrific that
happened to them.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
It the vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I do like, well, the vulnerability, yes, but it almost
puts you in a position where you're feeling bad for them.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I'm sure this came up organically just because you're you're
a twaka.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I am a smooth talaka.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You are you are?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
You know? I just, I mean, I just I put
it all out there, like I don't you know. And
it's funny because I was trying to read the menu
and I was like, oh, I gotta get my glasses.
He's like, you wear glasses. I said, yeah, I'm forty six,
I'm in my mid forties. I gotta use my glasses. Oh.
It was so funny. I was cracking them up. And
that's the one thing too that he was saying. He's like,
(11:18):
you're so funny, goss.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
What people love. They want to know that somebody can
make them laugh. Yeah right there. So does that mean
date number two is gonna happen?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I mean we'll see. Yeah, I'm sure it will happen.
But now I'm busy and now I'm getting my foot
surgery next week, so but not next week the week after,
but you know, I have to I have to just
get everything in order, and then you know, I'm not
gonna be able to walk really, so I'm gonna be
on crutches. I'll be on crutches, I'll be in a boot. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Are you still going to come into the office.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
No, I can't come in for like four weeks.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh my god. We're gonna have to be dumbing her.
I was gonna say, you'll have to dust off the
old the old panorama microphone.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
But what's happening next week is I'm going to be
on a billboard in Times.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You Are.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So I was chosen from actually Ben Henry, who works here,
nominated me to be chosen as one of one hundred
women of impact for an organization called Caring Kind And
it's for Alzheimer's and brain health and just powerful women
who want to make a difference, who do philanthropy and everything.
(12:30):
So I was chosen one of one hundred women, like
I mentioned, and a bunch of us got together in
November and we did a photo shoot in Hudson Yards
in a studio there, and yeah, it was so cool.
It was like fifteen twenty of us per shot.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So what day does it premiere?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
January twelfth to the twenty fourth.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Wow, we're just going on take a picture of.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
It, pictures, videos. I want to see a reaction. I
got get the reaction, man, Like, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
God, I know at what I'm gonna say, I'm going
to probably cry my eyes out. I'm so excited. And
as I've ever been on a billboard before.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I mean, I you know, that's like my dream.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But I was saying to Danielle, I'm like, if I'm
on a billboard, it's because I want my guy to
be proposing to me. Square. That's why I want to
be on the billboard.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
I wanted to be like, I want to be up there,
you know, from my own accomplishments. But uh, let's let's
try this thing, guys. So Henry p. D has been
talking about how our commercials just cut us off mid sentence.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Oh, we'll be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Let's see if that actually worked, Henry. If it doesn't,
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
And you know what, Henry, you're gonna have to just
deal with whenever they put the commercials in yell at
Skeary Jones exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
We're trying to learn. We're trying to learn.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, I don't know how any of that works.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
So yeah, whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Oh, so I do have a little bit of an
update about Francois. So I told you guys, we had
four dates, which was great, and then he went away
to pass Yeah for like two and a half weeks.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Oh it's a long time.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
What you want to know something? Pretty much almost every
day he either called, texted or facetimed me, which I thought,
I mean, that shows sweet, right that he's interested.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
He thinks, I don't think so, my friend, guys are
just not wasting their time face timing if they're not interested.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That actually brings me to a topic I wanted to
bring up because I've been, like, you know, scrolling on
Instagram and stuff, and people talk about when it comes
to dating that you should never put your eggs in
one basket. And I disagree with that because I feel like,
if you're dating someone, you should be focusing on that
one person. But people are like, no, you should be
dating multiple people. You sent that to me, I don't
(14:41):
agree with.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
It's like they're auditioning for this role because well, here's
the here's the positive to that. If one of the
say you're going on like and I'm not saying you're
hooking up with three different people. That's something different. You're
getting to know three different people. If one of them
really pulls an ick, a bad behavior, or a red flag,
guess what, Like, you're not gonna feel as bad saying Okay,
(15:02):
we're gonna phase Billy Bob out because you've got you
got Timmy Tom and Francois blue Eyes.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
But what if you're going out with like those three people,
and what if they're all good, then you're gonna have
to sit there and cheat you.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I can't do that, and I can't point.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Is going to are gonna show. I don't give.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
See, I don't know. I feel like for me, I
need to put one hundred percent energy into one person
at a time because if it doesn't work out, then
I'll move on to the next. I'm not gonna sit
here and juggle five different people.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I can't juggle.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I feel like it's cheating. And then people are like,
it's not cheating because you're not cheating on anyone.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I've got cheating on anyone when you're just getting to
know someone and talking to them and going out for
a coffee or me, I guess cause I've always been
a relationship girly, you know. And I've always been in relationships.
I've never juggled, I've never dated, like ever, this is
all new to me.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, so I don't know. I was just wondering, like,
where you guys stand. I can't I can't just send
you this.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I think I sent you a reel yesterday. I'm trying
to keep track of all the reels I send.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Oh my god, there's so many reels in our chat.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
There are like, let's just say there are twenty percent
of guys out there that are decent, good guys that
really are committed to having a relationship and putting in
the effort. But like, for the longest time, we were
settling for that other eighty percent because we had to
or that was what was expected of us. So we
were more willing to put up with bad behavior, to
(16:22):
put in more emotional labor, to put in more work.
And now I think things are changing because we make
our own money, we have our own place to live,
we don't need you. So now it's time for these
men to step it up, step it up, step it up.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I mean, I feel like back in the day, men
always stepped it up. Now it's like I don't know.
I don't know that's true.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
I think that women were just more likely to put
up with shit that too.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I guess a lot of settles, a lot of people
I know did settle. That's something I refuse to do.
I will not settle, And that's why I also don't
want to juggle and date more than one person at a time.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I mean, it is kind of exhausting thinking, is why
I don't date. But it is but a date. So
I don't know the point of that video I sent
you is that, like any other species, women are not
going to pro create if the mail is not up
to her expectations. Yet historically women did because that's what
(17:14):
was expected. Yeah, this this whole idea that you have to.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Get married, you have to have kids, you have to
do this. Do you have to not?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
No, it's like manufactured, this whole idea.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
And you know, recently I've been talking to my high
school crush.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Is it Eddie?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
No? That was my football playoff.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I'm sorry, you can't keep the cheap track of these guys.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I know, oh Eddie's the best. Yeah, but this guy,
like I always had the biggest crush on him. I
even bought the same Colorado Rockies jacket that he had.
Was it? Wait? What is it that?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Like wind breaker? Yeah? Oh my god? They could match him? Yeah,
you want to date him or be his twin?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
No, I wanted to date him, but like it's so
funny because he wound up dating somebody else that we
went to school with, and like his dad always said, like,
you're dating and wrong girl, blah blah blah. And you
know now he's like married as kids whatever. But like
we've been chatting and just checking on each other, and
it's it's so nice to have this dolge feeling. Yeah, yeah,
(18:20):
it's so cute.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Are you the one that got away?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I think I was, Yeah, but he definitely was too.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But you know, you know, it's like I always think
to myself, if you could go back in time, like
would you change anything or would you just continue moving
forward with the way life is.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
M that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I think all of these things that have happened, at
least to me. I don't know if you can speak
to this too, but it's like taught me a really
important lesson to where I am now. And I'm happy
with her I am now. You know, I've made a
lot of realizations. Yeah, yeah, but I think I would
not have gotten there without being able to break this
(18:57):
cycle of bad habits.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
That what happen when a guy comes and hits on you?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Well, funny you should say, I'm you may have to
police me a little bit on this one because I
have a story. But I don't want to accidentally let
it slip who this person is we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh, okay, do we know that person?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh, this is intriguing.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Might not? You might not and I didn't. I don't
even But okay, let's just say that. You know, when
you're either in an industry or you go to a
school and you have someone who's kind of an acquaintance
that you've known for years and years and years, but
you would never say you were actually like friends.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
You just have commonalities.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Commonalities, yeah, social media friends. Maybe you meet up at
it some sort of event, stuff like that. So I
get a message and it was a damn was it
a sled in the gym? Yeah? And it was like, hey,
we should catch up sometime. And you know, here's the thing.
And I was telling you this and not to sound bitchy,
but I have such limited time and I have such
(19:54):
limited days where I actually feel okay. A lot of
people don't understand fibromyalgia that, like, for me, it it's
very hard to muster up the energy to do anything.
So I have priorities. I want to see my sister,
I want to see my best friend. I want to
see my grandma, like you know, anybody else, Like making
time for anyone else either has to be last minute
when I'm feeling good, or like they're really far down
the list. He starts throwing out dates. He starts throwing
(20:16):
out and I was like, and the other thing is
I have food allergies, so like going to the restaurants
is a little triggering for me because well, you know,
for other reasons that we talked about last week. So
they're really persistent or organized trying to make these plans happen.
And I would love to meet them in person. Yeah,
you want to meet in real life? Sure, I think
it would be fun, it would be great. But then
(20:37):
I start noticing the messages getting a little flirtatious, and
I'm immediately uncomfortable. He straight up says, if I'm being flirty,
it's because I hope that after we meet, we can
just see where it goes.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
See that gives me the ick right there, right there,
and I hope he's not listening, but I'm like, why.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Do you feel entitled to that opportunity? First off, you know,
and you can tell me this. I'm trying to remember
what I.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Said, But what was your response back to that?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Well, I said, you know, sorry to make things awkward,
but I'm not dating men right now? Do I need
to disclose my orientation so that I can make this
person feel better? Like, I don't think that was even necessary.
I could have just said I it's I'm not interesting.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I think it kind of is necessary, and I'll say
why because I've gently tried to put guys like, to
try to turn them down where I'm just like, you know,
I'm not interested, but they still keep going and going
and going, and it's like, I don't want to be
super mean, but I'm also trying to be like as
clear as I could be, like.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
I'm just a If somebody can't take no for an answer,
and they can, I think I could change you. Oh
my god, I got my own little flag. It's kind
of a rare one. Listen, there's so many facets to this,
but I think at the end of the day, the
question is did I need to disclose this information or was.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
It just easier but it was a good way to
shut it down?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
It is easier. But also here's the other thing. I
know for a fact that this person is recently out
of like a marriage. Why can guys not be satisfied
being single?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Being alone?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Why does everything have to why does everything have to
be like, oh, we'll see where it goes. Why are
you looking for a replacement wife?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Why?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I mean, I'm so perfectly happy just living my life
in peace with my friends, my family, my cat. Of course,
that's why I say, unless you're going to bring some
sort of value of like greatness to the table, wow,
and don't disrupt the flow, yeah, the life that you
don't And don't be like thinking that you're entitled to
(22:35):
this opportunity.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah. If you're not adding any value, don't add any stress.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
And I'm not throwing shit, I really, I really hope
he's not listening. Well, it has been my experience with
some men that they would not treat a male colleague
this way.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
What if a woman wanted to approach you, now, what
would you do?
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I mean, maybe it's that I just really enjoy my
single time, my alone time and the way my life
is right now, and I have other priorities like my health.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
But I mean, I've shut my light to men for
the longest I've been single, seven years.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I do wonder if part of this is just due
to past trauma. I think so, yeah, and that I
just I am not willing to raise another man baby.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Also all of the past traumatic experiences we've all experienced
with men.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
It's like you mentioned that you mentioned therapy when I
was talking to you. How do we feel about men
who go to therapy? To therapy?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I love that. I wish that's every boyfriend. It would
have helped him.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I think it's good if a man can actually open
up to somebody and talk about things that are bothering him.
That's actually or that.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
They're on a journey healing and right, and because at.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Least they recognize they have certain falls of flaws or
faults in them. So I do think that that's that's
fable and honorable of them.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Yeah, that's more therapy in twenty twenty six. Yeah, you know,
like us women, And I'm sorry, but it is not
going backwards. Like we are more independent. We if you
if you want to get to our level, like you
have to be open to change and growth and healing
and growing together again.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, look at you on men, look at this.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I feel like I just want to like, uh, service
or something.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Instead of being like, oh, like you know, women are
causing this loneliness thing, it's like, no, we're actually not.
Our standards are not too high. We just want equality.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Equality baby.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Who hear that?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Self realized? Men? I love it.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
It's a great way to end things today, guys, I
think so.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Yeah, I hope we got the commercial on the right spots.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Well, deal with it. Sorry, Henry.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Sorry, And now he's gonna work with us because he's like,
honestly our longtime listener here.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, he's such a peach.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I love him. He's such a peach. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Well, and Diane, Diane, Well, if there's any topics that
you want us to cover and you're listening, you know,
you could always feel free to follow us on Instagram
at tails over Cocktails, slide into the d MS, give
us your topic ideas.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
We will definitely shout you out and talk about that.
It'll be Astra because she's the only one locked in.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
So I actually have the pass word unless you change.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
No, I didn't change.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
We should probably change it because somebody else has the passwords. Pooh,
so what he.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Can read our DM he can. He's gonna be like
guys for some reason, like you should talk about pickles
this week. Oh my god, that's why I said that.
All right, with that social media? All right, Well, I'm
at Astra on the air, I'm Wendy Wild Radio.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And I'm at Danielle DeLillo and like I said before,
together we are tails over cottails. Have a great week.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Woo woo.
Oh, get me cocktails. I'm Wendy, I'm Astra.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
And I'm Danielle and we are Tails over Cocktails. Yeah.
The stories are real, the laps.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Are loud, and there's always something to sit on.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Hey, how you doing. It's a weekly mix of absolutely
chaos cocktails and way too honest conversations.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Pull up a chair and pour something. It's about to
get fun. Way sho is.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Num and might make you a potty mouna. I love
being a.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Potty mail Happy New Year Happy Because when we start,
I do want to let everybody know that they should
be following us on our Instagram page at Tails over
Cocktails because I'm trying to get us to build it
up as quick as we can. So tell a friend
to tell a friend to follow us.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah, tell all your friends.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Everyone should be following us. I want us to reach
a thousand within a week if we can.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I think we can do that.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I think we could do I think we could just
keep what he's like a thousand, maybe like six hundred?
Yeah maybe yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Because I never read about like close how many friends
you got.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I've got a lot of friends.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I've got a lot of friends too. It's just a
matter of convincing them to follow us back.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm gonna tell them I'll give you.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Right now, we're almost at six hundred. Oh okay, so
I a thousand.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, I think we can.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I think we can do it.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I don't realize how many followers we had.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, I know, remember we only had one.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Follower, No, we had three. It was us three started
being to West and Adriana.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I know they have a Puppyney Barney. His last name
was a Nastis.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well let's recap. What did we do for New Year's
even our well, our New Year's break, I should say,
in our holiday break.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Well, Wendy was off the week of the fifteenth.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Yes, really, I think, and then I was back here
right and I was off for two weeks.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I was off for two weeks.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh my god. It was so tough coming back.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
I know, today is my first day back. And I
was like.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Dragging ass, dragging ass, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Like you forgot what you did, what you do for
a living.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
No, I actually forgot that I had a job. I
was like, I'm glad that I'm getting a paycheck and
I'm not working, Like, how do I sign up for
this life? How can I just never work but get
money deposited into my account?
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Yeah, like a sugar daddy.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah, I'm looking for one if anyone has one.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
For three of them, okidding.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I've been I want to join sugar Daddy meat dot com.
Oh my gosh, could you imagine.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I could, because you probably juggle about three or four
of them. You'd have all the bills paid.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
My god, I wish it'd be awesome. He looks amazing.
By the way, I haven't seen you since oh before Christmas.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, Breed did it for me.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It looks so good.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
I made a doc.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Thank you? Should I say, ladies and everybody doing okay?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
So I did the New Year's eve ball drop like
we talked about.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
So lucky.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
I had the NYPD police escort. Big shout out to
my boy Jude, and also to Sergeant Leave taking care
of all that. I know.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I love sergeantly.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, I don't know Sergeant.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I don't know either. I like James. Yeah, it just
sounds very efficial. Yea is the fast.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Jude is the best. We had great views. It was incredible,
and you next year you need to I feel like
it's a tradition. Now I've just been doing it.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
But how was it facing the crowd? Though?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
There there you're when you're being police escorted in, there
is no crowd. You're passing by the crowd. You're like
waving to them, like hi everybody, but they're like, who
is that? Is that someone famous?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
We are, We're just special. We're VVIP.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah. I was supposed to go with my friend because
her husband works for NYPD, but they the police commissioner apparently.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Oh yes, not to do it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Yep, there was Yep, there was a whole big thing
I heard about. We had to get there at ten thirty,
and that's unheard of. Normally we get there like eleven thirty,
eleven forty five. You walk in and out usually usually
this time. And I'm not gonna lie. My toesies were cold.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I was out jacket, I.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Was layered up. I had I had thermal leggings with
jeans on top. I had two shirts and a sweatshirt
plus my Canada Goose jacket, plus my shoes, hat, gloves, scarfs,
and I was still still cold.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
I think it was actually and I don't have the
stat in front of me. But I think it was
actually the coldest New Year that we've.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Seen in No, I wouldn't say so amount of years.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I remember though, the year of twenty seventeen into eighteen
there was a big blizzard because I was in Thailand
at that time.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So I was.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Like, everyone back at the ball today, Oh my god.
But yeah, that was.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Still if you think, but that was almost ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Wow, sod.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, this was probably the coldest New Year's Eve we've
seen in like maybe nine years.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
True. I will say my toes and my fingers they
had to defrost when I got home. I was like
Mariah carried defrost.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
I just want to bring something up. I don't know
if you ladies also have of circulation issues. Last night
and actually just lately, I've noticed it's so much worse.
I cannot get my feet and my fingers to warm up. Really,
they feel like they're going to fall off. I have
such trouble with temperature regulation. Really don't know if it's
related to anything else. It might be the weather. I mean,
(05:17):
I'm like this all the time. Oh, even in the summer. Sometimes, Yeah,
I like I'm in an ac room. I will have trouble.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Maybe you need to get those foot in hand warmer.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I was just wondering about that. I was on Amazon
last night with the heated socks with them that I'm
wondering if.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Anybody else for a friend of mine really and they
worked great because he loved to ski.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
And by the way, I do have another update. I
tried acupuncture. Oh that did not go well. Oh no,
it was so painful. Is it supposed to hurt?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Where did you go? No?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
I went to one of like one of the high
most highly rated acupunctures on Long Island and it was
the most excruciating feeling. Not all of the needles of
the one in my forehead, I guess because we're used
to go there. But I was like, why does this
hurt so much? He had to remove half the needles.
I couldn't tolerate them. He put one in my hand
(06:10):
and I was actually immediate tears.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
No way, Oh, I love the one. I put them
in my hands.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Oh my god, it feels great. I feel like your
sensory is just overheightened.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Is that what that is? Maybe someone else and I
know that. Actually, do you know Diane Gardner? Yes, she's
one of our listeners and she.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, I'm friends with her son.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
She's so sweet. When I posted about this on my story,
she reached out and was like, Wendy, it should not.
She talks like you. She does, Wendy, but like a
grandma version. Diane. God, Diane, Wendy is Diane. Acupuncture should
not be hurting you. It shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I'm sure she didn't say hurting. She said, Wendy drawling.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Wait, I have the voicemail.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh my god, should not be hurting you?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Yeah, yeah, eat any pain? And yeah, so like she
sounds a little bit like you.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
She's pronouncing her Oh, I don't pronounce my eyes. But
that's so funny, Diane, punk should not be hard and
you exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Well, we'll give it another go and see, but yeah,
it may not be the therapy for me. My good.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So yeah, so let's what's been going on with everybody?
We gotta do like a quick catch up.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I know, I want to hear about this. Was it
tinder no bumbo?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Dan yell on a day?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, let's talk about it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Sweet, Oh my god. We had the best time. Went
to Fushimi and Brooklyn who picked the place he did
because I don't know anything in Brooklyn except.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Pez you went to. So he lives in Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
No, he lives on Staten Island, but he's from Canos.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Did like me meet halfway and you met me halfway?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Oh, let's do that today. Yeah. We had a really
nice time. He's so nice. We talked for like three
and a half hours. What an nice man.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I didn't want to leave, but I had to wake
up early the next day to like babysit six o'clock
in the morning. I had to wake up early. But
we had such a great time chatting for three and
him as we're going through like my marriage and then
my breakup recently and his exes and you know, just
putting everything out there.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Just can I just say for a second, it seems
like you two on your first date really scratched like
surface level and beyond. Yeah, you went and you actually
went a little bit deeper.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Because I was just talking to Astra yesterday.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Right, I need to learn those those skills skills, Yeah,
because I just like to get to know a person.
I don't go digging deep like I'm a digger.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I dig deep.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
But did you feel like he was also digging too?
A little bit or yeah, just naturally, but like.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
It just naturally, like the conversation just flowed naturally.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I mean, I'm all about building a friendship before a relationship. Personally,
I'd rather be with someone first before jumping into a relationship,
because I find when you jump into the relationship and
then you're starting to learn the person as you go,
you might realize this isn't somebody I really like anymore. Yeah,
so I'd rather start to know them and slowly.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Okay, you know, I'm like, I just want to hear
it all.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Yeah, but I just like say, you don't know that much,
like do you what what's Francois's favorite color? I don't know,
like his eyes.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I was gonna say maybe blue, like his eyes, but
I don't that. I mean, listen, who's gonna ask that
on a first date?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
What's your favorite color?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Nice to meet you?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But is he out?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
What's your favorite color? Perfect?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You know?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
But I do that next time.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I mean listen, I would ask, you know, do you
have brothers, sisters? Things like that, like are you you know,
are you looking to ever get married? You want to
have kids?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Like?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Those are things I do talk about.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Did you talk about that yet.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
It's nice you speak about that with Francois.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
I did. But you know, it's not like I'm gonna
be digging like. I'm not like his therapist.
Speaker 3 (09:56):
I'm not gonna be like so sitting.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Back with a pet and pad, like, tell me about
your childhood growing up, let me hear what are your
quirks in life.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
I've read that when someone discloses such personal information so
early off the bat, it can be a red flag.
That's what I think, to you and play they can
use that information to manipulate you. It's like narcissistic.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
It is because you know why. Also, if you do
put out too much, then people are going to try
to build that dream person around.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What you like and dislike.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
You might say I don't like guys or I don't
like girls that do X y Z. So now if
that's something you do, you're not going to do it.
So now you're kind of already putting it out there.
I'd rather let that person show me who they are
and I'll decide from there if I want to continue
going or not.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
But also, if someone tells you about something horrific that
happened to them.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
It the vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I do like, well, the vulnerability, yes, but it almost
puts you in a position where you're feeling bad for them.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
I'm sure this came up organically just because you're you're
a twaka.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I am a smooth talaka.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
You are you are?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
You know? I just, I mean, I just I put
it all out there, like I don't you know. And
it's funny because I was trying to read the menu
and I was like, oh, I gotta get my glasses.
He's like, you wear glasses. I said, yeah, I'm forty six,
I'm in my mid forties. I gotta use my glasses. Oh.
It was so funny. I was cracking them up. And
that's the one thing too that he was saying. He's like,
(11:18):
you're so funny, goss.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
What people love. They want to know that somebody can
make them laugh. Yeah right there. So does that mean
date number two is gonna happen?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I mean we'll see. Yeah, I'm sure it will happen.
But now I'm busy and now I'm getting my foot
surgery next week, so but not next week the week after,
but you know, I have to I have to just
get everything in order, and then you know, I'm not
gonna be able to walk really, so I'm gonna be
on crutches. I'll be on crutches, I'll be in a boot. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Are you still going to come into the office.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
No, I can't come in for like four weeks.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh my god. We're gonna have to be dumbing her.
I was gonna say, you'll have to dust off the
old the old panorama microphone.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
But what's happening next week is I'm going to be
on a billboard in Times.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
You Are.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So I was chosen from actually Ben Henry, who works here,
nominated me to be chosen as one of one hundred
women of impact for an organization called Caring Kind And
it's for Alzheimer's and brain health and just powerful women
who want to make a difference, who do philanthropy and everything.
(12:30):
So I was chosen one of one hundred women, like
I mentioned, and a bunch of us got together in
November and we did a photo shoot in Hudson Yards
in a studio there, and yeah, it was so cool.
It was like fifteen twenty of us per shot.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
So what day does it premiere?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
January twelfth to the twenty fourth.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Wow, we're just going on take a picture of.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
It, pictures, videos. I want to see a reaction. I
got get the reaction, man, Like, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
God, I know at what I'm gonna say, I'm going
to probably cry my eyes out. I'm so excited. And
as I've ever been on a billboard before.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
I mean, I you know, that's like my dream.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
But I was saying to Danielle, I'm like, if I'm
on a billboard, it's because I want my guy to
be proposing to me. Square. That's why I want to
be on the billboard.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
I wanted to be like, I want to be up there,
you know, from my own accomplishments. But uh, let's let's
try this thing, guys. So Henry p. D has been
talking about how our commercials just cut us off mid sentence.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Oh, we'll be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
Let's see if that actually worked, Henry. If it doesn't,
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
And you know what, Henry, you're gonna have to just
deal with whenever they put the commercials in yell at
Skeary Jones exactly.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
We're trying to learn. We're trying to learn.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah, I don't know how any of that works.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
So yeah, whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Oh, so I do have a little bit of an
update about Francois. So I told you guys, we had
four dates, which was great, and then he went away
to pass Yeah for like two and a half weeks.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Oh it's a long time.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
What you want to know something? Pretty much almost every
day he either called, texted or facetimed me, which I thought,
I mean, that shows sweet, right that he's interested.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
He thinks, I don't think so, my friend, guys are
just not wasting their time face timing if they're not interested.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That actually brings me to a topic I wanted to
bring up because I've been, like, you know, scrolling on
Instagram and stuff, and people talk about when it comes
to dating that you should never put your eggs in
one basket. And I disagree with that because I feel like,
if you're dating someone, you should be focusing on that
one person. But people are like, no, you should be
dating multiple people. You sent that to me, I don't
(14:41):
agree with.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
It's like they're auditioning for this role because well, here's
the here's the positive to that. If one of the
say you're going on like and I'm not saying you're
hooking up with three different people. That's something different. You're
getting to know three different people. If one of them
really pulls an ick, a bad behavior, or a red flag,
guess what, Like, you're not gonna feel as bad saying Okay,
(15:02):
we're gonna phase Billy Bob out because you've got you
got Timmy Tom and Francois blue Eyes.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
But what if you're going out with like those three people,
and what if they're all good, then you're gonna have
to sit there and cheat you.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I can't do that, and I can't point.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Is going to are gonna show. I don't give.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
See, I don't know. I feel like for me, I
need to put one hundred percent energy into one person
at a time because if it doesn't work out, then
I'll move on to the next. I'm not gonna sit
here and juggle five different people.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I can't juggle.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I feel like it's cheating. And then people are like,
it's not cheating because you're not cheating on anyone.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I've got cheating on anyone when you're just getting to
know someone and talking to them and going out for
a coffee or me, I guess cause I've always been
a relationship girly, you know. And I've always been in relationships.
I've never juggled, I've never dated, like ever, this is
all new to me.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Yeah, so I don't know. I was just wondering, like,
where you guys stand. I can't I can't just send
you this.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
I think I sent you a reel yesterday. I'm trying
to keep track of all the reels I send.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Oh my god, there's so many reels in our chat.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
There are like, let's just say there are twenty percent
of guys out there that are decent, good guys that
really are committed to having a relationship and putting in
the effort. But like, for the longest time, we were
settling for that other eighty percent because we had to
or that was what was expected of us. So we
were more willing to put up with bad behavior, to
(16:22):
put in more emotional labor, to put in more work.
And now I think things are changing because we make
our own money, we have our own place to live,
we don't need you. So now it's time for these
men to step it up, step it up, step it up.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I mean, I feel like back in the day, men
always stepped it up. Now it's like I don't know.
I don't know that's true.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
I think that women were just more likely to put
up with shit that too.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I guess a lot of settles, a lot of people
I know did settle. That's something I refuse to do.
I will not settle, And that's why I also don't
want to juggle and date more than one person at a time.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
I mean, it is kind of exhausting thinking, is why
I don't date. But it is but a date. So
I don't know the point of that video I sent
you is that, like any other species, women are not
going to pro create if the mail is not up
to her expectations. Yet historically women did because that's what
(17:14):
was expected. Yeah, this this whole idea that you have to.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Get married, you have to have kids, you have to
do this. Do you have to not?
Speaker 3 (17:21):
No, it's like manufactured, this whole idea.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Interesting.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
And you know, recently I've been talking to my high
school crush.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Is it Eddie?
Speaker 2 (17:33):
No? That was my football playoff.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I'm sorry, you can't keep the cheap track of these guys.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I know, oh Eddie's the best. Yeah, but this guy,
like I always had the biggest crush on him. I
even bought the same Colorado Rockies jacket that he had.
Was it? Wait? What is it that?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Like wind breaker? Yeah? Oh my god? They could match him? Yeah,
you want to date him or be his twin?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
No, I wanted to date him, but like it's so
funny because he wound up dating somebody else that we
went to school with, and like his dad always said, like,
you're dating and wrong girl, blah blah blah. And you
know now he's like married as kids whatever. But like
we've been chatting and just checking on each other, and
it's it's so nice to have this dolge feeling. Yeah, yeah,
(18:20):
it's so cute.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Are you the one that got away?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I think I was, Yeah, but he definitely was too.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But you know, you know, it's like I always think
to myself, if you could go back in time, like
would you change anything or would you just continue moving
forward with the way life is.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
M that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
I think all of these things that have happened, at
least to me. I don't know if you can speak
to this too, but it's like taught me a really
important lesson to where I am now. And I'm happy
with her I am now. You know, I've made a
lot of realizations. Yeah, yeah, but I think I would
not have gotten there without being able to break this
(18:57):
cycle of bad habits.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
That what happen when a guy comes and hits on you?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Well, funny you should say, I'm you may have to
police me a little bit on this one because I
have a story. But I don't want to accidentally let
it slip who this person is we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Oh, okay, do we know that person?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh, this is intriguing.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Might not? You might not and I didn't. I don't
even But okay, let's just say that. You know, when
you're either in an industry or you go to a
school and you have someone who's kind of an acquaintance
that you've known for years and years and years, but
you would never say you were actually like friends.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
You just have commonalities.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Commonalities, yeah, social media friends. Maybe you meet up at
it some sort of event, stuff like that. So I
get a message and it was a damn was it
a sled in the gym? Yeah? And it was like, hey,
we should catch up sometime. And you know, here's the thing.
And I was telling you this and not to sound bitchy,
but I have such limited time and I have such
(19:54):
limited days where I actually feel okay. A lot of
people don't understand fibromyalgia that, like, for me, it it's
very hard to muster up the energy to do anything.
So I have priorities. I want to see my sister,
I want to see my best friend. I want to
see my grandma, like you know, anybody else, Like making
time for anyone else either has to be last minute
when I'm feeling good, or like they're really far down
the list. He starts throwing out dates. He starts throwing
(20:16):
out and I was like, and the other thing is
I have food allergies, so like going to the restaurants
is a little triggering for me because well, you know,
for other reasons that we talked about last week. So
they're really persistent or organized trying to make these plans happen.
And I would love to meet them in person. Yeah,
you want to meet in real life? Sure, I think
it would be fun, it would be great. But then
(20:37):
I start noticing the messages getting a little flirtatious, and
I'm immediately uncomfortable. He straight up says, if I'm being flirty,
it's because I hope that after we meet, we can
just see where it goes.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
See that gives me the ick right there, right there,
and I hope he's not listening, but I'm like, why.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Do you feel entitled to that opportunity? First off, you know,
and you can tell me this. I'm trying to remember
what I.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Said, But what was your response back to that?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Well, I said, you know, sorry to make things awkward,
but I'm not dating men right now? Do I need
to disclose my orientation so that I can make this
person feel better? Like, I don't think that was even necessary.
I could have just said I it's I'm not interesting.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
I think it kind of is necessary, and I'll say
why because I've gently tried to put guys like, to
try to turn them down where I'm just like, you know,
I'm not interested, but they still keep going and going
and going, and it's like, I don't want to be
super mean, but I'm also trying to be like as
clear as I could be, like.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
I'm just a If somebody can't take no for an answer,
and they can, I think I could change you. Oh
my god, I got my own little flag. It's kind
of a rare one. Listen, there's so many facets to this,
but I think at the end of the day, the
question is did I need to disclose this information or was.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
It just easier but it was a good way to
shut it down?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
It is easier. But also here's the other thing. I
know for a fact that this person is recently out
of like a marriage. Why can guys not be satisfied
being single?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Being alone?
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Why does everything have to why does everything have to
be like, oh, we'll see where it goes. Why are
you looking for a replacement wife?
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Why?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I mean, I'm so perfectly happy just living my life
in peace with my friends, my family, my cat. Of course,
that's why I say, unless you're going to bring some
sort of value of like greatness to the table, wow,
and don't disrupt the flow, yeah, the life that you
don't And don't be like thinking that you're entitled to
(22:35):
this opportunity.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah. If you're not adding any value, don't add any stress.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
And I'm not throwing shit, I really, I really hope
he's not listening. Well, it has been my experience with
some men that they would not treat a male colleague
this way.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
What if a woman wanted to approach you, now, what
would you do?
Speaker 3 (22:52):
I mean, maybe it's that I just really enjoy my
single time, my alone time and the way my life
is right now, and I have other priorities like my health.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
But I mean, I've shut my light to men for
the longest I've been single, seven years.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I do wonder if part of this is just due
to past trauma. I think so, yeah, and that I
just I am not willing to raise another man baby.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Also all of the past traumatic experiences we've all experienced
with men.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
It's like you mentioned that you mentioned therapy when I
was talking to you. How do we feel about men
who go to therapy? To therapy?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I love that. I wish that's every boyfriend. It would
have helped him.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I think it's good if a man can actually open
up to somebody and talk about things that are bothering him.
That's actually or that.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
They're on a journey healing and right, and because at.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Least they recognize they have certain falls of flaws or
faults in them. So I do think that that's that's
fable and honorable of them.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
Yeah, that's more therapy in twenty twenty six. Yeah, you know,
like us women, And I'm sorry, but it is not
going backwards. Like we are more independent. We if you
if you want to get to our level, like you
have to be open to change and growth and healing
and growing together again.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah, look at you on men, look at this.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I feel like I just want to like, uh, service
or something.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Instead of being like, oh, like you know, women are
causing this loneliness thing, it's like, no, we're actually not.
Our standards are not too high. We just want equality.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Equality baby.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Who hear that?
Speaker 3 (24:19):
Self realized? Men? I love it.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
It's a great way to end things today, guys, I
think so.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Yeah, I hope we got the commercial on the right spots.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Well, deal with it. Sorry, Henry.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Sorry, And now he's gonna work with us because he's like,
honestly our longtime listener here.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, he's such a peach.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I love him. He's such a peach. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Well, and Diane, Diane, Well, if there's any topics that
you want us to cover and you're listening, you know,
you could always feel free to follow us on Instagram
at tails over Cocktails, slide into the d MS, give
us your topic ideas.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
We will definitely shout you out and talk about that.
It'll be Astra because she's the only one locked in.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
So I actually have the pass word unless you change.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
No, I didn't change.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
We should probably change it because somebody else has the passwords. Pooh,
so what he.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Can read our DM he can. He's gonna be like
guys for some reason, like you should talk about pickles
this week. Oh my god, that's why I said that.
All right, with that social media? All right, Well, I'm
at Astra on the air, I'm Wendy Wild Radio.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
And I'm at Danielle DeLillo and like I said before,
together we are tails over cottails. Have a great week.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Woo woo.
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