His Balls Are In Her Purse

In our first Entertainment Headlines segment of the day, the story of how Justin Timberlake has been put on lockdown..by his wife. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're just talking about all things. Jesse Jackson Rest in
Peace was talking about and how the world's always been
in this state of chaos, but social media puts us
there and you brought up a point there during during
the commercial break, just the pace of things is rapidly increasing. Yeah,
and yesterday I saw, actually this is early this morning,
these Chinese robots and the amount of how the distance

(00:21):
they've come in one year, and now they can handle
numb chucks, they can do karate, they can do all
this stuff. And it's like, dude, we are in the
Terminator movie.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Right, like, how is this good?

Speaker 1 (00:32):
We can't. AI is learning so fast we we can't
even explain it or control it. Like it's doing things
we never could have anticipated while we're simultaneously building unstoppable
robots and like people are putting full movies out on
social media that they made in three minutes on AI.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Yeah, it was like a bad plan.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
But dude, you can't put the genie back in the jar.
You know, who's really got this thing figured out? The unibomber.
I mean, he was living out in the way, you know,
didn't need anybody until he wanted to come in and
do some horrible anger.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
That was a problem.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, but the isolation was good, but then that drives
you crazy living off the land. I mean, right now,
it's time for this world.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Man. This this might be filed under tabloid garbage, but
you see it and you read it, you go, that's fun.
Big story out from an outlet that's saying that Jessica Biel,
the wife of Justin Timberlay, absolutely owns him right now.

(02:05):
He's not even allowed to go out and hang out
with hang out with the guy friends.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Now.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
He's had a couple events that happened. In twenty nineteen,
he was photographed with the co star of a movie
he was in and they were holding hands, and then
he had the dui in twenty twenty four. Here's what
a source tells star, he has no star. He've seen
that up probably at the grocery store with bat Boy

(02:33):
and all that stuff. Bat Boy remember bat Boy quote.
There is a very clear understanding that he is not
calling the shots anymore, not if he wants to keep
her happy and remain a married man. He does not
question her, he does not push back, and he certainly
does not get to do whatever he feels like. She
has full access to his phone and his social media

(02:53):
in any moment she wants, he has to hand it
over for her to look at.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Okay, do they know that?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
How do they know that? They don't? All?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Right, Well, what I was going to say is, to me,
first of all, he hit the lady Lotto. She's exquisite,
but she's aging.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Just like all of us.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Nice good point. Second of all, aging very well to me, Yes,
to me, this sounds like he has made a violation
and he's holding on for dear life and he's almost
blown it, like he has violated the trust. And she's like,
this is the last straw. This is the only way
I stick with your dumb ass. Yeah, I got to
monitor you because you can't control yourself.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Right.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
I think that's probably what's happening, right, Okay, Can I
offer the opinion that she's the second best Jessica?

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Alba, yeah, Alba, Like, if you have to pick a Jessica,
we're picking out that movie where she swims up. Yeah,
that's that. I mean, I just saw the Bad Bunny
halftime shit and I was like, man, she's almost as
hot as Pedro Pascal for Fastball never lost velocity.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
They're both great. He's also in a phase of his
life where he can't just pop and lock it and
make her squirm anymore.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
You know, oh used to be able to squirm.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
That was Yeah, yeah, TM like squirt I don't know
squirt Squirm. Squirtle was a Pokemon character, one of the
greats so I friends joked in this article. Friends joke
that he's on permanent probation, but it's not far off.
He does not want to lose her, and that means

(04:28):
he has to live by her very strict rules, holding
on for life until she can trust him again. Guys,
you're just You're justin Timberlake, Conjessica Bill, Why not just
open that thing up and keep slaying for the next
seven years?

Speaker 1 (04:41):
And the open marriages, an open marriage for both sides,
have a few rules, And yeah, go ahead and invite
in Ryan and Blake and just get on down the trail,
you know what I'm saying. Maybe uh, Taylor and Kelsey
get them in the mix. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like
him obviously, he's so talented. And part of the reason

(05:03):
I like him so much is how good he was
on SNL. He was great. He's really good when he's
on SNL and he's funny as hell, and he's really talented.
He's got one fatal flaw that he's tight with Fallon.
That's it, and I guarantee you, and I guarantee you,
that's probably what she's beaten down by. She's not checking
for other gals. She's checking for Are you making plans
with Fallon? No, he whips my ass. We're not doing it.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
I don't think we'll have time for it today, but
I've got a Fallin story for tomorrow or later in
the week. Uh huh. That involves guess what the Epstein
Files and some pizza sauce I saw.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
Really, I do want to get to this because I
saw one of the greatest tweets of all time about
this the other day. So maybe we'll do it tomorrow
or later in the show. All Right, there you have it, Christina,
Where are you going to take us next? In the
Cookie Jar?

Speaker 2 (05:50):
We had a concert at an army's over the weekend.
I'll give you those details next and then you go