Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KBPI and your show time for
stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stalt y'all all stop line, Yeah you are stupid stories
brought you by.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Steal and Steel Dealers dot Com. All right, let's get
to it.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
One of five employees violate return to obbice policies, and
many workers claim up quit if the company forces compliance,
Well you workers are called stupid and soon be unemployed.
Yeah please, Some people will still carry get them ount
of cash on them. Average man carries seventy eight dollars?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Really on cat?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Do you have any cash on you right now?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
I do?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
How much?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Not seventy eight dollars? Probably about fifty about fifty bucks.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I had one hundred and two dollars the other day.
And then my boy Tommy and Danny rent a couple
of things over from our friendless set to the house.
And anyway, I want to give him some gas mine
because I thought it was cool. So I gave them
fifty bucks apiece at two fifties, and now I have
one dollar. They had that in my pocket for the
last few days. That's it. One dollar, just dying to
(01:07):
burn burn it on something. What can I get for
a dollar? So far? I found nothing in three days.
All right, Apparently the Chippendale dancers are unionizing. Oh really,
I think that's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Where are they going to keep that union card?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Right at eighteen wheel were overturned early Monday morning in Mississippi,
and it was a terrifying situation for the driver because
he was transporting bees at the scope earlier day. I
feel like everybody that transports bees in upstair percentage of
crashing by like fifty percent. A lot of bee transport
(01:45):
semis into crashing.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Which is strange because I would hope people wouldn't be
tailgating so much. You don't want to fall too close
to a B truck.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, I thought you were gonna hit us with a
mind you one bees? Andess there's something. Where's the punchlines?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
No punchline, just just thoughts? Okay, all right?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Look, a lot of people are curious because there's been
more and more this kind of funny too. Man, this
is a dream of mine. Look, if you all are
doing this, let me know because I gotta get in
on this. More and more dirt bikes ATVs and side
by sides apparently been downtown dinner and a lot of
people are asking is it legal for dirt bikes ATVs
(02:27):
and these side by sides to be on city streets.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Well no, I don't even need to read the article.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Tell you no. I mean I highlighted right here. DPD
says the street use of all trade vehgles and four
wheelers like side by sides and dirt bikes is illegal
in Dipper. Well no, Sherl Lockett says, right on there,
off road use only. Uh, dumb ass, What kind of
stupid question is that? But is it fun to drive
them on the street? Absolutely? There is no way a
(02:57):
cop can catch me. If I was downtown dinner on
a dirt.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Bike, just.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
It would be the ultimate awesome chase, Like I would
have so much freaking fun just just wheeling the dirt. Like. Man, oh,
I wish we could play a game like that. I
was there, shut down downtown. Bring a bunch of dirtbike
you could play cops. You can play dirt bike here,
whichever one you want. You got catches, dude, it would
(03:23):
be a riot. God, that seems like so much fun.
I know a lot of people don't understand, but trust me, man,
if you could ride a dirt bike downtown as a
you know, as a course or a track or a
you know, ops goes. Oh my god, so fun between
you know, jumping off. I mean, you don't understand on
(03:47):
dirt bike you could huck the thing several stories, you know,
sometimes do, but man, it would provide the ultimate fun.
It would be a blast, all right? Can you tell
them they't efatuated by that anyway? A woman in Washington
State she had to call the cops her property was
invaded by more than one hundred raccoons. Uh oh, she said,
(04:10):
I was terrified. She had to escape to her car
to get away from all the raccoons. But rewind a
little bit. She was asking for it.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
This woman says she's been feeding the raccoons for thirty
five freaking years. What do you expect thirty five years?
You got to open an everybody restaurant for raccoons? Well,
hell yeah, raccoon's gonna get around your house, you idiot.
What do you think was gonna happen?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
She probably cut them off and they got angry, right,
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
But she said things started to get out of control recently. Yeah, well,
you've been feeding for thirty five freaking years. How long
did you think it'd take.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I'm surprised you only had one hundred. After thirty five years.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
She called police because they started closing in on her.
She feared for her life. Raccoons was like, Oh, where's
a fool. My whole family's been living off you for
thirty years. Where's our food?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I'd like that. She locked herself in the car, like
like a Kujo scene.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Right, it's kind of like kujo.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Raccoon's all over the car, I imagine.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
She said. She tried to have them remove at one
specialist said he charged five hundred dollars per raccoon.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Ooh, so fifty grand to get rid of all one
hundred of them.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Deputies referred to Washington State Department of Fishing Wildlife to
find a solution. You know what solution's gonna be. A
bunch of dudes with I don't know ars are gonna
walk in there and empty a clip or two, and
everybody's gonna be app Okay, there you go, you dumb lady.
Don't do that again.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
I mean, it sounds like a thre'e eating from her.
Couldn't you just throw some poison out there?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I mean, you think this woman's capable of that.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I don't know if it's the most ethical way, but
they're gonna go somehow.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Oh, they're gonna go. You can probably find a couple
good old boys like hey, ten grand will handle that problem.
Get us a couple construction garbage bags and a few
rounds of AMMO, We're good to go, all right, Lisa
Marie Presley, everybody's aware of who she is. I bet
(06:18):
she was. Yes, yes, I guess when you look at
like that. But apparently her memoir came out yesterday and
it reveals some things that man were weird. Lisa Maria says, quote, well,
somebody else said for her, I guess my house has
(06:41):
a separate, you know, bedroom. And she kept Benjamin, her son,
her twenty seven year old son. I think it was
who passed away in twenty twenty. He took his own
life in twenty twenty, so I think it was drugs
or something like that. He committed suicide. But he kept
his body on dry ice at her home for two months.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Ooh, that's creepy.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Is that not weird? That's like weird, right?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
She said, there's no law to state of California that
you have to bury somebody immediately. And this is another
quote she had. I felt so fortunate that there was
a way that I could still parent him, delay it
a bit longer so that I can become okay with
laying him the rest. Look, man, that is creepy.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Man, I don't I'm going to add another layer of
creepy to this. Yeah, self inflicted gunshot wound.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Oh really yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Oh God, like a drug over nose. I don't see it,
but it's a little less gory.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, but a self inflicted gunshot wound, it gets worse.
Roddy says that she and her mom decide to get
tattoos that matched Benjamins. They had tattoo hours come to
the house and he he basically looked at Benjamin's tattoos
in person on.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
His body and did people to look at it too,
and did.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Their tattoos from that? Uh, I mean his body was
eventually laid the rest at Graceland. But after two months.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Oh, look, that is so weird, so weird.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I mean, people born in different ways, But that is creepy,
especially self in a gunshot wound. All right, here's the story.
How about pants to go hiking for you? This is
actually kind of funny. There Ai powered hiking pants that
give you forty percent more leg power. Oh okay, it's
(08:52):
got a built in ecoskeleton on each pant leg that
helps you push off while going up hill.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Interrupt.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, they lighten the load of protect your knees while
coming back down. They're called mow Slash go Mogo pants,
short for Mountain Goat. They're not this is crazy. They're
not too far off on the rise in either. The
first orders are shipping in twenty twenty five, so the
startup called Skip is making them. They teamed up with
(09:21):
a high end outwear brand called Arctics. Anyway, you can
pre order them now on line.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
They're five g's a pair, five thousand dollars five thousand
dollars a pair.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
They're a part of an emerging trend called movewhere move
whears clothing that literally helps you move around. But wow,
pants that help you go hiking. I can definitely see
this rodible. That's oh sure, I mean that's that's pretty
cool technology.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Maybe over eight people as well, this might be like
a jump start to dying.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Like, yeah, it helps them a system.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
You know, I want to go walking, but I can
hurt and.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, it definitely helps in that regard. I've seen that
a few incidences like that were these this move wire
and stuff, or it's got some some of ectoskelety to
help build muscles. You know, you tune in a percentage
if you want it to give you know, this percentage
or give you a ten percent aid or twenty percent,
eight or forty percent whatever. You're just it so that
you're must a little bit more load each time. And
(10:27):
it come from exercise. Pretty clue, all right, speak Besides,
how about this extra pill or you don't even have
to exercise and it actually gives you the benefits of exercising.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Forget the pants. Tell me more about the pill.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Researches in Denmark said they created a pill that mimics
the benefits of running ten k an exercise pill. So
this new molecule that's developed does mimic the effects it
has in your metaboloigt me say. Quote brings the body
into a metabolic state corresponding to running ten kilometers at
(10:58):
high speed and on an empty stomach. So it also
offers some benefits you get from fasting as well. Exercise
triggers this release of a hormone that suppresses your appetite well,
it also flushes fatty acids from your bloodstream. The good
news is this pill does apparently the same thing reduces
your risk for things like heart disease and diabetes.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
They haven't tested it on the humans yet, but they
tried it on rats and it triggered the release of
those same hormones. And if it does what they think
it does, they say it could be a game changer
for people who are too injured or too old to
work work out. You know people are there, What about
the people just don't want to work out? Right, that's
(11:43):
your demographic. Let's be honest. It's not gonna be a
game changer people are too injured or too old to
work out. It's gonna be a game changer for people
are too lazy.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
To I mean, if I can just take a pill
and it'll be like I ran a ten k before
I got to work, Yeah, I'm I'll sign that. Sign
me up, right, Although there is the big question what
are the side effects? Although we may not know yet.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Right, we won't, but there will be.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
It's too good to be true.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
This is too good to be true. A happily married
woman used twenty three ande meter DNA tests and trace
her family tree, and apparently she began to doubt whether
she should stay with her husband after seeing the results.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Uh oh.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Selena and Joseph Quinnones. They dated for a while. They married,
you know, about five months after they wow, after they
ran into each other after they met. I guess they
love at first sight. This couple. They went on to
have three kids together. It was after having kids and
Selena decided to start investigating her family history. She started
(12:48):
really diving into my DNA because I wanted to find
out my hair it is. My daughter is really dark skinned,
my son is curly hair, my middle child is light skinned.
Everybody would be like, what are you and I could
really give him, couldn't give me any answer. Besides, you
know Native American Boseline and Joseph from Colorado. They sent
out the DNA squabs. The results came back in and
(13:11):
they were stunned to find out that their cousins. Oh yes,
she said, When I realized that we were cousins, I
was a little sick to my stomach. I think she
would get a divorce. Are even supposed to be together?
The couple says none of their relatives recognize each other.
At the wedding. Okay, I.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Like how that came up in conversation at some point. Yeah,
did your mom know that they're right?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Well, we did, but we didn't want to say anything.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I thought they just looks similar.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Yeah, doesn't that look like our uncle? You look just
like my brother. But I'm not gonna say nothing. Uh. Anyway,
said to announce the surprising news about the DNA test
results to her husband on TikTok, and that's where that's
where she messed up. She thought it would be funny. Well,
(14:11):
you can imagine what happened. The clip went viral, I mean,
gained millions of views in a matter of a day
or two, and everybody was just blowing them up too.
People were like, you're just disgusting, You're just sturb and
it's gross. I feel bad. Kids. They just went off
and it's you know what happened when you put your
life on social media nowadays? Stop doing that. She's all
(14:35):
butt hurt now. I can't believe what we were saying.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Well, you got to think about like our grandparents' generation, though,
where a lot of them didn't move more than ten
or fifteen miles away from where they were born. Sometimes
their entire life. So you got to think that this
probably happens a lot more than THEEP.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I mean, in royalty back in rowan time, there were
people that wanted to keep it amongst the family members,
you know, creep. Nobody said anything they had back then.
All right, lastly, man, I've been shocked. I'm reading this
ten year old boy, a ten year old boy been arrested,
booked his juvenile He drove a stolen car through a
(15:17):
freaking school playground in Minneapolis, and it was It wasn't
an empty playground, it was packed with dozens of kids
at the time. They all could have been mowed down.
Thinking that nobody was hurt. It's weird. He's been arrested
twice before for stealing cars. He's ten, ten year olds.
This is the third time there's ten year old's been
(15:38):
arrested for stealing cars. He's also this is this He's
apparently a suspected more than a dozen other cases.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Oh wow.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
The boys family has reported cooperated with police and recognized
that he and they need a little help. Yep. Really,
you think he's ten and he's stole a car three times.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
He's got a rap list longer than me. In fourth grade.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Man, he's harder than you've ever dreamt of being.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Scoop.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
You better hope you never cross the ten year old
in a dark alley. He may beat you down.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
No, Principal, take my card right, Really?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I like me and midst Abacy Outlander and yours is
the only one I see. You'd be like here, here
you go, kid, Just take it. I don't get I
don't get beat up by.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
He is the key for the club.