May 26, 2026 • 10 mins
Man jumps into a Smoking Chimney to Escape The Police. Spoiler Alert: He does not.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One nine KBPI and your show time for stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah yeah, you are Stupid Stories.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Brought to you by Fan Expo, Denver. It starts Thursday,
goes all weekend long.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Fan Expo, which is Comic Con.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Right formerly known as the Comic Con Yes, all right.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Uh all right. Spend the time in nature is in
the news because of the long list of health benefits.
It reduce the stress, anxiety, exercise improves mood, increased focus,
better sleep. And you know, actually, solo walks can even
help reduce loneliness. Even if you walk in by yourself,
(00:42):
He's still here in two steps.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Walking solo reduces loneliness. Huh, you must.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Be a really lonely ass person if you're walking solo,
it is still reduces loneliness. What airlines would you see
to like to make it come back?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
This panem still a thing.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
PanAm No, but that's the one I'm making a comeback
is ambusiness comeback. The Pan American World Airlines aka pan
am man. I was so hoping spirit will make you
come back.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Pan Am was always those ones that back in the
day was like the luxury like that's where people dressed
up to fly.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Ain't nobody dressed up to fly Now, it's like pajamas
are in the average all in costs them well. Date
in America, including pre date grooming and gas money as well,
it cost the date itself has climbed to one hundred
and eighty nine dollars.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Millennials spend the most at two hundred and fifty two
dollars a date. Damn wow, y'all getting yourselves too ready?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Like you know, I say that, but if you're going
to a concert, that's what's going to cost you.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
But nobody's going concert I mean concerts. I feel like
that's what you do after you together. That's like, yeah,
that's still a date. But like this seems like to
be like a first date conversation. I mean, maybe you
want to go all out, but this is saying every date.
Millennials was spending two hundred and fifty two dollars on average.
(02:15):
No wonder you can't afford the house. That seems crazy expensive.
Four million fewer foreign visitors came in United States last
year compared to twenty twenty four. You know what that means?
Visitors spending has decreased by more than eight billion dollars,
(02:37):
which yeah, has been another blow to the economy. That's
not good. A dog accidentally shot a woman. Scoop, the
dog shot the woman, huh yay, probably trying to shoot
a cat. It looks like the dog accidentally shot a
woman with a shotgun at a convenience store. To brask of,
the dog just jumped on a loaded gun and fired it,
(02:58):
hitting the woman. What hitting a woman in another vehicle
in the arm. Damn, this was at a convenience store.
The dog did that, and it hit a woman in
the arm.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
In her car in a different car, right.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, damn uh. It looks like police are investigating the
owners of the dog. Looked like they're in a lot
of trouble, because I would think so I should. I've
tried to lay it on the dog. Well, ever since
you know he got bit by that raccoon, he's been
(03:34):
really weird.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Not my gun belong to the dog. I'm a felon.
I can't have it.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Right, And some bits loaded it too. Look at that
twenty four dining twenty four hour dining establishment starting apparently
gonna make a comeback. Oh really yeah, strength dramatically during
the pandemic. But apparently they're they're making a comeback because
people like to eat at two thirty in the morning. Dude,
this is wild. Headline China expects to start full scale
(04:04):
delivery of flying cars for twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Wow, so a year from now. Huh yeah, yeah, I'm
not ready for flying cars.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
A what a full monthleet of flying cars? Dude? That
would be wild. This is why the father in Florida
says a lift driver used artificial intelligence to fabricate photos
of car damage and charge his daughters a seventy five
dollars damage fee after a trip home from the beach.
(04:38):
Oh lame, lame, all right, fireworks stand? Is it the news?
Because I don't know what they were thinking, but it's
happened in Texas, so what he said. Investigation is underway
(04:59):
at the firework stand caught fire on Monday afternoon. According
to fire Marshall official save the uh the preliminary information
in the case that the fire was accidental. Some welders
were working on the actual fireworks stand. Oh no, yeah,
(05:21):
welding on top of some of the some of the
framing of the stand and didn't think that the shack
would you know, light up the fireworks? Like what it's okay?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
We're welding over here. The fireworks are right below us.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
You will sit there owning a fireworks stand an old
truck and tell me you don't have any squeaky a arms,
worn out ball joints, rust a cab corner, torn seats,
or even a blown out speaker. What No, that's not
how that worked anyway. Yeah, fireworks welding, they don't really
go that weldgether, We're going a TikTok named Nira. She
(05:58):
went to a frozen yogurt place and it was an
entirely self serve experience.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Oh okay, no employees at all. Huh No, she.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Got her own cup, she filled herself, did her on topics,
wait in line, paid the kiosk using Apple pay, no clerk,
nothing the process.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
She was a bit confused, as I would be when
the screen says how much would you like to tip today?
Who does the tip go to? People? Behind the scenes?
I don't know. It's weird, right, right, how much would
you like to tip today? Like? Damn, I didn't even
see a person. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Sounds like a good business to run though, right. You
just have to show up in the morning, fill up
all your soft serve machines and cross your fingers that
nothing bad happens.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
So I always tip at Noodles okay, or wait Chipotle
on a to go order? Do you do you ever?
Do you tiptose? Like you just go in and like Noodles,
I just give my order at the counter and they
hand it to me in the bag, right, And I
still tipped her. But I keep asking myself why.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I do the same subway even though I'm walking out
with a sandwich.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
It's like die uh all right? So Hooters is trying
to pull himself out of bankruptcy by getting a family
friendly makeover in One of the bosses has even said
he wants to bring it back to the delightful TACKI
version of the chain. But he says, you will not
(07:40):
see a bunch of butt cheeks hanging out. And I'm like,
I find myself a little torn here because never has
the butt cheek been more popular than it is today
in twenty twenty six. I'm like, you can go anywhere,
you can go to Walmart, you can.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Go to any mall.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, and it's just there's girl butt cheek hanging out
all over the plate. It's like a thing like it's weird,
but it's like a thing now, Bro, it's not the short,
you know.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I think if Hooters wants to turn itself into a
family friendly place, it's gonna have to change the name altogether.
I think the whole aura of Hooters has just been
locked into what it is.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
He says, it's supposed to be a bordy beats look
with shorts that were like swimsuit cover ups. Uh right,
and the Hooters of those friendly beach owls. What what.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Trying to sell that Hooters stock? That's for sure?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah right. Lastly, police in Washington were called an address
of a vacant board up house that the neighbors suspected
somebody was trespassing. Why didn't think somebody is trespassing, scoop?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Why did they think somebody was trispassical?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Because there was smoke coming from the chimney.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh yeah, that's a good sign of a boarded up house.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, cops a ride. Nobody would answer the door, but
they could hear somebody inside the house. Ah. The person
climbed out the second story window onto the roof. The
cops sat it for him to come down, but instead
this dumb ass climbed into the chimney. Oh yeah, and
it was still smoking from the fire that he'd set
(09:16):
inside the house just stay warm. So you imagine he
got stuck. The fire department had to open up the
entire wall on the inside of the house to get
him out. Uh, dumb ass. He was arrested. Oh but
was oh you said, to the hospital and checked out first.
(09:37):
Unclear what the damages are, but he's gonna get him.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
We've been doing stupid stories for a long time, and
we've had our share of chimney stories.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Not one.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
They have never once made it through the chimney.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Isn't that what?
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Usually get about eight nine feet down and then all
of the sudden things tighten up a little bit.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah. Man, So I don't know why you Thickens think
you could just fly through a chimney.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Man, Thickens thinnins. Nobody. Nobody is making it through the chimney.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Nobody's getting through the chimney.
One nine KBPI and your show time for stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah yeah, you are Stupid Stories.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Brought to you by Fan Expo, Denver. It starts Thursday,
goes all weekend long.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Fan Expo, which is Comic Con.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Right formerly known as the Comic Con Yes, all right.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Uh all right. Spend the time in nature is in
the news because of the long list of health benefits.
It reduce the stress, anxiety, exercise improves mood, increased focus,
better sleep. And you know, actually, solo walks can even
help reduce loneliness. Even if you walk in by yourself,
(00:42):
He's still here in two steps.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Walking solo reduces loneliness. Huh, you must.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Be a really lonely ass person if you're walking solo,
it is still reduces loneliness. What airlines would you see
to like to make it come back?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
This panem still a thing.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
PanAm No, but that's the one I'm making a comeback
is ambusiness comeback. The Pan American World Airlines aka pan
am man. I was so hoping spirit will make you
come back.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Pan Am was always those ones that back in the
day was like the luxury like that's where people dressed
up to fly.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Ain't nobody dressed up to fly Now, it's like pajamas
are in the average all in costs them well. Date
in America, including pre date grooming and gas money as well,
it cost the date itself has climbed to one hundred
and eighty nine dollars.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Millennials spend the most at two hundred and fifty two
dollars a date. Damn wow, y'all getting yourselves too ready?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Like you know, I say that, but if you're going
to a concert, that's what's going to cost you.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
But nobody's going concert I mean concerts. I feel like
that's what you do after you together. That's like, yeah,
that's still a date. But like this seems like to
be like a first date conversation. I mean, maybe you
want to go all out, but this is saying every date.
Millennials was spending two hundred and fifty two dollars on average.
(02:15):
No wonder you can't afford the house. That seems crazy expensive.
Four million fewer foreign visitors came in United States last
year compared to twenty twenty four. You know what that means?
Visitors spending has decreased by more than eight billion dollars,
(02:37):
which yeah, has been another blow to the economy. That's
not good. A dog accidentally shot a woman. Scoop, the
dog shot the woman, huh yay, probably trying to shoot
a cat. It looks like the dog accidentally shot a
woman with a shotgun at a convenience store. To brask of,
the dog just jumped on a loaded gun and fired it,
(02:58):
hitting the woman. What hitting a woman in another vehicle
in the arm. Damn, this was at a convenience store.
The dog did that, and it hit a woman in
the arm.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
In her car in a different car, right.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, damn uh. It looks like police are investigating the
owners of the dog. Looked like they're in a lot
of trouble, because I would think so I should. I've
tried to lay it on the dog. Well, ever since
you know he got bit by that raccoon, he's been
(03:34):
really weird.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Not my gun belong to the dog. I'm a felon.
I can't have it.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Right, And some bits loaded it too. Look at that
twenty four dining twenty four hour dining establishment starting apparently
gonna make a comeback. Oh really yeah, strength dramatically during
the pandemic. But apparently they're they're making a comeback because
people like to eat at two thirty in the morning. Dude,
this is wild. Headline China expects to start full scale
(04:04):
delivery of flying cars for twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Wow, so a year from now. Huh yeah, yeah, I'm
not ready for flying cars.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
A what a full monthleet of flying cars? Dude? That
would be wild. This is why the father in Florida
says a lift driver used artificial intelligence to fabricate photos
of car damage and charge his daughters a seventy five
dollars damage fee after a trip home from the beach.
(04:38):
Oh lame, lame, all right, fireworks stand? Is it the news?
Because I don't know what they were thinking, but it's
happened in Texas, so what he said. Investigation is underway
(04:59):
at the firework stand caught fire on Monday afternoon. According
to fire Marshall official save the uh the preliminary information
in the case that the fire was accidental. Some welders
were working on the actual fireworks stand. Oh no, yeah,
(05:21):
welding on top of some of the some of the
framing of the stand and didn't think that the shack
would you know, light up the fireworks? Like what it's okay?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
We're welding over here. The fireworks are right below us.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
You will sit there owning a fireworks stand an old
truck and tell me you don't have any squeaky a arms,
worn out ball joints, rust a cab corner, torn seats,
or even a blown out speaker. What No, that's not
how that worked anyway. Yeah, fireworks welding, they don't really
go that weldgether, We're going a TikTok named Nira. She
(05:58):
went to a frozen yogurt place and it was an
entirely self serve experience.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Oh okay, no employees at all. Huh No, she.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Got her own cup, she filled herself, did her on topics,
wait in line, paid the kiosk using Apple pay, no clerk,
nothing the process.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
She was a bit confused, as I would be when
the screen says how much would you like to tip today?
Who does the tip go to? People? Behind the scenes?
I don't know. It's weird, right, right, how much would
you like to tip today? Like? Damn, I didn't even
see a person. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Sounds like a good business to run though, right. You
just have to show up in the morning, fill up
all your soft serve machines and cross your fingers that
nothing bad happens.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
So I always tip at Noodles okay, or wait Chipotle
on a to go order? Do you do you ever?
Do you tiptose? Like you just go in and like Noodles,
I just give my order at the counter and they
hand it to me in the bag, right, And I
still tipped her. But I keep asking myself why.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
I do the same subway even though I'm walking out
with a sandwich.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
It's like die uh all right? So Hooters is trying
to pull himself out of bankruptcy by getting a family
friendly makeover in One of the bosses has even said
he wants to bring it back to the delightful TACKI
version of the chain. But he says, you will not
(07:40):
see a bunch of butt cheeks hanging out. And I'm like,
I find myself a little torn here because never has
the butt cheek been more popular than it is today
in twenty twenty six. I'm like, you can go anywhere,
you can go to Walmart, you can.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Go to any mall.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, and it's just there's girl butt cheek hanging out
all over the plate. It's like a thing like it's weird,
but it's like a thing now, Bro, it's not the short,
you know.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I think if Hooters wants to turn itself into a
family friendly place, it's gonna have to change the name altogether.
I think the whole aura of Hooters has just been
locked into what it is.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
He says, it's supposed to be a bordy beats look
with shorts that were like swimsuit cover ups. Uh right,
and the Hooters of those friendly beach owls. What what.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Trying to sell that Hooters stock? That's for sure?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah right. Lastly, police in Washington were called an address
of a vacant board up house that the neighbors suspected
somebody was trespassing. Why didn't think somebody is trespassing, scoop?
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Why did they think somebody was trispassical?
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Because there was smoke coming from the chimney.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
Oh yeah, that's a good sign of a boarded up house.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, cops a ride. Nobody would answer the door, but
they could hear somebody inside the house. Ah. The person
climbed out the second story window onto the roof. The
cops sat it for him to come down, but instead
this dumb ass climbed into the chimney. Oh yeah, and
it was still smoking from the fire that he'd set
(09:16):
inside the house just stay warm. So you imagine he
got stuck. The fire department had to open up the
entire wall on the inside of the house to get
him out. Uh, dumb ass. He was arrested. Oh but
was oh you said, to the hospital and checked out first.
(09:37):
Unclear what the damages are, but he's gonna get him.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
We've been doing stupid stories for a long time, and
we've had our share of chimney stories.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Not one.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
They have never once made it through the chimney.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Isn't that what?
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Usually get about eight nine feet down and then all
of the sudden things tighten up a little bit.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Yeah. Man, So I don't know why you Thickens think
you could just fly through a chimney.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Man, Thickens thinnins. Nobody. Nobody is making it through the chimney.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Nobody's getting through the chimney.
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