In this chaotic episode, Jess and Chae find out how you can be sued for too much time on socials, deep dive into the messiness of modern adulting! From dishwasher debates and questionable tax knowledge to learning the hard way that health insurance isn't a scam. They try to get strangers to say "I love you" launch a new game, expose the wildest group chat messages and the most cringe-worthy pet names ever uttered. It’s a therapy session, comedy show, and gossip sesh you didn’t know you needed!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Really. I love you. I love you guys so much.
I love looking at you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yes, welcome back to the podcast Week three. Can you
believe they let us back?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I I know. I don't know if they know we're
doing the podcast, to be honest, I.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Wait every time we've done it for them to send
a little email and go, hey, guys, just enough.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
You go now. They gave us up work. Surely they
know it's up there.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
They made us do a photo shoot, which we're very uncomfortable. Yes,
I mean you can see it in my eyes if
you look closely. It's like, let's go on.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But I'm still got to call you out for that
photo like the photo shoot, because I was you made
me do the single individual shots first, and I was like,
I'm so awkward. Give me some poses, and you're like,
I don't know any poses. And then you got in
front of the camera and you were like finger guns,
hair up, hand in pocket. And then you said, I've
done fourteen of these before yet no advice for your
old mates.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, because I think I've said this before. I'm not
as young as I look like I actually am, and
I'm a lot older than people give me around.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I've very like you're a young looking seventy four though.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Seventy four wow, flatter me at least ninety six? What
I stopped counting. No, I've done heaps of them, so many.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah, but no advice for me. That's what I'm saying.
We're co hosts. This is like we're going into battle.
We're an army. We're in the same battalion, which is
you've got to be there for me on the front line.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I don't know how to tell someone else your body
looks good when you do something like this. I just
don't know how to say that fair enough. Yeah, it's
really it's really difficult. Hey, I'm speaking of things that
are difficult. Later in the podcast, you made me call
someone and I hate it every minute of it. You
sprung it off, Yes I did, and I don't like it.
And apparently we're doing it again next week too.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What did you just call to Shay to them?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I had to had to get them to Shay. I
love you, Yes you did, which I love a good pun.
And you got me there.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
We'll find out how we went. That's coming up in
the board is just and Shae.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Every time I try and do something as an adult,
I go, no one taught me how to do this?
How do I do this? Again?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
There's a lot of things like that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, there's so many things like I do things now
as I live alone, and I look at things and
I go, how did I know? How do I know
how to do this? No one taught me?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
What's an example?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So when you fill a dishwasher? You put things in
the dish washer, and you go, all right, I know
where things go. Is there a right or wrong way
to do it?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think the only right way is do you ever
like put your hand up and under and you spin
the fan just to check it's not going to hit anything?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, or whatever?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
The thing is called the washer, the washer. As long
as it doesn't hit anything, you're sweet, your golden.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So is that is that the measure of you've done
the right thing as an adult?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I think so? That? And making sure everything's kind of
like upside down, so like the dirty stuff face it
down so the water shoots up to it right.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Well at the moment too, it's tax time, right, and
I don't know what to claim. I've got no idea.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Oh, I'm going to introduce you to someone you're gonna love. Oh, really,
it's called an accountant. You everything back. You know that
if you claim an accountant, you then claim them the
next year.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You got to wait twelve months to claim that though, Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
It's two hundred bucks easy.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
So the tax is one thing. But then I was thinking,
you know health insurance.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Oh talking to speaking of scams.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, well that's what I feel. It's a scam until
I hurt my back, and I felt every year of
my thirty nine years on this planet, I went, maybe
it's not a scam. Maybe I need it because to
pay for the stuff that you need to get done.
When you hurt, you're bad. It's a bit of a nightmare. Also,
when you go to Bunnings, you need to learn how
to not buy things you don't need. And you are
not a DIY expert.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's very true. I think the biggest thing you can
learn as an adult is knowing when to step in
and say I need someone to.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Help me here, I need help, And that's a good thing.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I read this great thing that someone's grandpa did marketing wise,
they would I think they must have been a builder
of plumber or something, and they sent out free sets
of screwdrivers with their number on the handle of the screwdriver,
so that when the person chucked it in couldn't do it,
they'd look at the screw driver. Right there, there's the
number to call.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Flat pack furniture. Are you good at it?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
No? I'm so bad at it.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
See. I think it's something to do with creative brains,
because you're very creative. I'm very creative. I can't do
flat pack furniture, no, because I try to make it
into something that it's not supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
The other thing that I really wish I had been
taught as an adult is how to keep tupwear clean.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I mean, I don't think anyone can teach that. That
is like a forgotten skill that no one has ever mastered.
Especially if you have a pastor it. You're absolutely screwed.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
That's what I was going to say. I got one
last week and it's already not even seven days and
it's got red tinge in the bottom from pass down.
I can't get rid of it. How do you do?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I don't know if you can. I think the only
thing you can do is chuck it out and like,
Lord knows, you've had it for a week. I'm surprised
you've still got the lid and the container that it
actually fits together.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's a riddle that no one will ever be able
to solve.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Well is Jess and Shay. Obviously in the media there
has been a lot, a lot, a lot of talk
about a very famous beef on Wellington, Oh.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yes, and so many podcasts about it as well.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I know, haven't there been Like you can't open a
Spotify app and not find a mushroom case podcast, which
is why I thought this article was very interesting. And
I mean keep in mind that at the other end
of any crime there's the people that had impacted and
the victims. So I found this quite concerning. The surge
in serial killer baby names is rising as a twenty
(05:29):
twenty five parenting trend emerges.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
That would have something to do with the Jeffrey Dharma
thing like in the Rodriguez Brothers on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I think it does, because as soon as something goes
on Netflix, it kind of loses all relevance that it
was an actual case to people, and it comes up
a TV. But this is where there's been a rise
in Anna who we know Anna Delvi, the fake heiress.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
What are you wearing? You look poor?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
That's some excellent voice. Excellent voice. Arthur Who was the
Zodiac Killer suspect Arthur Lee Allen.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Oh, he's the guy who looks like a little bit
like Johnny Depp.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
He does look a bit like Don't you think that
some actors when they do see crimes, they're going payday? No,
I could play I like him. This one. I don't
know if anyone is calling their daughter bella inspired by
wellness scammer Bell Gibson.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
No Bell after Bell and beauty and the Beast.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
That makes way more sense. And then this was the
weird one I saw on here, and I just don't
think anyone's doing it in this current climate. Aerin after
Aaron Patterson dubbed the mushroom killer allegedly.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
No, I mean, why would you. It's not even like
it's just a regular name.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
It doesn't make any sense at all. So I thought
what I would do is I found a list of
actual names of people that are serial killers from history
gone years and years ago. Can we do a round
of serial killer or influencer?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Okay, you have to guess if I'm ready out the
name of a serial killer or an influencer, And just
for that little bit of extra icing on top. Why
don't you try and tell me how many followers this
person might have.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I won't be good at that.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, let's do it, Velma Barfield. Oh is that a
serial killer and influencer?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
That has to be a serial killer?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
It is a serial killer. You didn't give me followers,
which meant I knew. Oh, hang on. Followers in relation
to serial killers is a very different thing to Instagram,
isn't it? Followers with her exactly? Giovanna Fletcher. I hope
I'm pronouncing that correctly.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Influencer for sure?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
How did you know that?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Because there was no one in nineteen thirty Chicago called Giovanna.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Actress, mum, author? And she is how many follows? Two
million followers for Shananah Fletcher? Okay, Daisy d Melker serial killer?
How did you know that?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Daisy? Again, she's going to be made into a musical
with two killers that live in Cook County jail? You
know from Chicago.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Don't you think that that's the perfect influence? And I
know Daisy? Hey, guys, Daisy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Here, it's the surname.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, you got me there? Okay, Lavinia Fisher.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Ooh, that's a hard one. But I'm going to say
influencer wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Damn it, she is in fact a serial killer. Okay,
let's go with someone else. Her name is Robin Wiggins Towel.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
If she's an influencer and she could possibly be listening
to this, I'm sorry, but I'm going to say influence
her last her name because she's.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
A mum of six, a grandma of four, clothing designer,
women in powerment and coaching is the thing, and she's
Missus International twenty nineteen, only has a humble thirty thousand
Instagram followers.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And has not killed a single person.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That we know of. Absolutely not. Okay, in the final one,
Binky Feldsteed, is that a serial killer or an influencer?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I want to say serial killer because you know, if
you were to say in the news, oh, look out
for Binkie.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Think he's about Yeah, yeah, thinky Bill.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I think I've got it wrong.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, she's an influencer. She's a mummy of three, she
likes fashion, beauty, everything in between. She's the founder and
investor of We Are Nolo, and she has one point
four million followers. Binky gone on the bink of an eye.
I don't want to know is Jess and say I
love you. What Sorry it slipped out. No, I came
(09:07):
across a great video on TikTok. Now, keep in mind
this is happening over in the UK, so the accents
are a little bit difficult to understand, only because they're
talking very quickly in their native tongue, much like I am. Now.
Their native tongue is obviously English, but there's a bit
of an accent. But essentially, I just want you to hear.
This is the postman dropping off a letter to a woman.
They've caught this on the ring doorbell. Have a listened
to what she says back to him. She's dropped and
(09:40):
I love you to the postman.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Who I've done that before, have you? Yeah? I don
it at work? Actually I said it to Tommy that
we work with our boss. Yeah, I've said it. I
was leaving, I was like, love you and then it
just went What did.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Tom say back? Curious? That's nice because he loves me.
That's what I want to know. How hard is it
to get and I love you out of a stranger.
So if you don't think so, we're gonna play this.
I just I just called to Shay, I love you.
(10:15):
You need to call a random business that's going to
be open at this time, so most likely a restaurant,
and just before they hang up and finish the phone call,
they have to say I love you back to you.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
See this is two of my worst nightmares, combined calling
and talking to someone that I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yes, that resonates and love and love. You need to
open your heart.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I do, but I'm scared of love and I don't
like calling people that I don't know. This is awful.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Let's face some fears here tonight together. Do you think
you can do it?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Okay, this is a local restaurant. Have a think about
what you might ask them, But you need to get
them to say I love you.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
What else can What is the restaurant?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It's an Italian restaurant, so maybe go with something along
the lines of pizza or something like that. That's not
a bad idea. Okay, let me type the number on.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
What if it's a guy that answers?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Even better, if you can get and I love you
out of a like a guy that you don't know,
I'm going to give you a million bucks.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Okay, so I have to do it. Before they hang up.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Before they hang ou yeah, be weird.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
If they said it after, well maybe I would be
the winner.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Good luck, Okay, I'm going to help you. Hi.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
My name is Shaye. How are you good? Thank you?
Just wondering do you guys have pizza at all? Pizza?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You mean like they're just applying bread or.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Just just any type of pizza is really just like
a lunchtime kind of thing to come in and have
lunch with pizza.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, yeah, but like we don't do like it's a
round pizza.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
We we call pizza like some witch.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Okay, that that sounds really nice. And then in the
way of dessert, do you have any to teller, like
anything with the teller in it? We croissan and douna yeah,
and in the Natella croissant, does it have a lot
of nutella? Because I like a lot of natella.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah, that's excellent.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Okay people, all right, well I might see you for lunch.
I might see you for lunch this week. All right, yeah, beautiful, Okay,
thank you so much, love you, thank you, love you, bye,
I love you. Oh she would have none of my mess?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh no, but hey, at least you can leave plenty
of Natella on the plate.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, but Nantella on a pizza is what I was
really after.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Know what you're after is I love you know?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
But she didn't want to give me any absolute fail.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Okay, maybe we try next week.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I don't want to. Maybe you try it next week.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Jess doesn't go in. I just called to Shay. I
love it, Thank goodness.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
All right?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
And so are you familiar with Bluis?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, of course, I've got a two year old child.
I thought you might be Blueye is his third parrot.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Blue is who looks after him when you don't want to?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yes, yeah, it's a bit of Blueing going on. Attracted
Ted as well. I don't know if any of the
parents know that one. It's like they film in this
farm yard and it's just this farmer that goes around
and like milks cows, picks apples. But they've put a
cgi tractor named Ted that follows him along.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
See, kids have such cool things these days. You know
what I had when I was a kid, Johnson and Friends. Johnson.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I loved Johnson and Friends.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Terrified.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I wanted to go into that room so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
No, not me, I was terrified by that. I think
she was an accordion.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Alfred the hot water bottle. Yes, yes, No. I bring
it up because on On Blueye apparently there's a weird
food combination which I think would work quite well. It's
a sausage a sausage sizzle, a sage cigarette sausage sizzle,
but fairy bread is the underpart.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Oh, I don't know how I feel.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
See, I love sweet and savory together.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
But do you put sauce on it? That's probably the
main question.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I don't know you put sauce or would you put
like icing that cake ice?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
It's a bit weird now I think about it. Yeah,
it's like having a meat cake, you know what I mean.
It's like having a cupcake and then there's a chicken
skewer hanging out the top of it.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I see. That's another topic altogether. Cupcakes that are savory, No,
that's a muffin, savory muffin, savory cupcake muffin.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
What's the difference, I don't know. I think it's genuinely
comes down to one of them is in one of
those paper wrappings, and then the other one is taller.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I don't know, but it got me thinking like there's
some other weird food combinations that I have. I don't
think they're weird, but you may. Okay. So when you
go to McDonald's and you get the French fries, yeah,
and you dip them in the ice cream?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Do you do that?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Of course?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Okay, so maybe it's not weird. It's so weird.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Peanut butter and a burger, oh like unless it was
a sate burger.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Well, that's what it does. It kind of gives it
that little sarte zing to it.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I don't love it. I don't love it, so it
keep it weird.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Strawberries and volsamic vinegar.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
See. When I first heard about this, I went, no way,
you've got to be kidding.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I can probably see where it would work.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
It's actually really really good, and I'm similar to that.
Mangoes with chili powder on them.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Nuh why. I just don't like that thought of that
at all. It's like really like spicy mango.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, but sweet at the same time.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I don't really like chili though, so I might be
letting you down.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah. When you go to the movies and you get
popcorn and malteesers, mix them together.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Perfect? Perfect now we're talking chocolate.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
It's so damn good. VEG. You might avocado on toast.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah, I could see it because I salt my avocado toasters.
I think everyone does, not too much salt, though not
too much salt, but like Vegi much just giving you
the salt underneath.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Really, and this one I think is genius and I
think everyone should do it, or at least try it
once because you will be sending me emails to say
I love you so much. Instant noodles on a cheese toasting,
So you make the noodles, make sure they're not dripping wet,
so you may make sure that they're dry, put them
in your cheese toasty, and then grill it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
That's sickening.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
You're looking at me like I've just done something really bad.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
I just the carbs and the cheese. It's like a
heart attack in a jaffle.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
But it's it's it's actually quite good for you. So
it is a lot for you. Well, it's a lot
of carbs, and it's like there's nothing else in it.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Except the only time I'd eat it is if I
was rolling like thirty k the next day and I
was like carblading, like, let's.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Go, trust me, don't knock it until you try it.
You have to try it because it is so damn good.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
All right, why don't I try it? And the next
week I'll give you my report?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, make sure you feel what I want to see.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Okay, Well that'll go well with all the other videos.
Is Jess and Sha. You don't have any nicknames for me,
do you?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
For you?
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, you just call me Jess. You just call me
regular old Jess, j ma. Oh, you do call me
j Max sometimes not to your face, though, calling me
Jack behind my back? Would you be.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Weird like I? Actually, I don't even I wouldn't. No,
I don't think I maybe Jess Mac. I've said to
other people Jess Mac, did that? Go and see Jess Mac.
But I would never say to you, hey, Jess Mac, No.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That would be weird. And you'd never call me baby,
sweetheart or angel, would you or? Experts revealed that those
three nicknames used in relationships mean it's doomed to fail.
I'm in a bit of trouble there. Why wear a
babe couple?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Oh no, yeah, yeah, I used to. When I was
in a relationship, it used to be babe or baby
and I used to do it to make him feel
really uncomfortable when we were out in certain situations. So
we'd be like shopping and stuff and they'd be.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Like, baby, nothing like threatening your partner just with a
cute little cute see nickname. Yes, babe or baby, sweetheart
or angel. They don't like these, So sweetheart can be
used to dismiss genuine concern about your relationship. So instead
of engaging with your concerns, a partner might say, you
overthink everything, sweetheart, don't worry that pretty ahead of yours.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh no, that's that's condescending.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
That is what you don't want. You don't want babe
or baby, because if you called that too early in
a relationship, it can make you grow attached to someone
who hasn't actually shown you true intimacy. Oh it feels comforting,
but that sense of warmth can be misleading. See.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I just find it a bit icky when someone's like baby.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh, you definitely don't want it like that, do you. Well,
you just want like a hey babe.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Baby's fine? Yeah, back, but not baby?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
But hey baby? No, No if I start every party
with hey baby.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I used to have a work colleg that used to
say to me, Hey, sweet cheeks.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh, sweet cheeks is not quite right.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And I used to also be called treacle. Hay treacle.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
What's treacle?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Treacle? So like you put it on your pancakes, kind
of like maple syrup.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I think that is so random.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, we call you that. It was actually an announcer
on a breakfast show that I used to work on
years ago, and she used to think I was so sweet.
She used to call me treakly bits. I used to
get like different parts of that, so it was treacle,
triackly bits.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Princess, Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm slacking in
the nickname department for you. An angel seemingly sweet, but
can be used as an emotional distraction from the real
issue at hand. For example, angel don't be mad, I
would really that would make me mad. I would get
if anyone called me that. They have said not all
pet names are manipulative, but in emotional healthy relationships, they
(19:18):
often reflect genuine affection and tenderness, and they can help
de escalate tension. So I thought I'd try a few
out on you. Here are some of the worst ones
voted by people. Snook EM's oh yuck, Yeah, that's terrible,
isn't it.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Pooky Ah. I used to have a friend who called
his girlfriend pooks.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yeah, that's terrible, awful, terrible. Boogaboo.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
No, that sounds like something you'd pick from your nose.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Toots toots, No, it's toots, not yuck, not for me.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Boo bear see, I don't mind that.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
You don't mind that.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I would be what is known in my community of
gay men as a bear or a cub.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So so we're just adding boo in front of it. Okay,
what about this one? Popsie?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
No, that's way too cute C.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Cute C poopsie, I get it. Stud muffin love machine
and Hunker Hunker burn and love seemed as cheesy or
try hard. And then these are the worst ones that
was voted by people. I've never even heard most of
these before. Shmoop schmoop Yeah what s h m o
o p schmoop.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Something sounds like something you'd clean off your backside.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Snugger luffagus n yep.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Jujub see Jujub is a great drag queen from RuPaul's Dragway.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Does it stand for something? No?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I think it's actually it's just their drag queen name,
real name airline like airline. You heard that correctly? Sorry, yeah,
the their real name is airline.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Their first name is airline.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Correct, don't get into it.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
What's their last name?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I wouldn't know that. I'm sure I could google it,
but I no first name, airline, drag queen name.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Jujub doesn't make any at all.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
You need to become a fan of roupols.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yes, yes, I know, I've heard it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Cow pie, No way, that's what a cow's poop is called.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
A cow pie, cow pie. I've never heard that before.
Ye last, sup.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Booger again comes from your nose.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
And I don't know if anyone would ever love this
tubble wabba.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That just means you're fat.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, yeah it does.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And I mean the other one that you said, hunk
hunker hunker burnin.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Love, hunker hunker burnon love.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
That's just a mouthful. No one has time to say that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Well, you're you're listening to Jess and Stud muff Is,
Jess and Shay.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I mean so many group chats, like so many.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I think I'm probably in three with you. So what
are the rest of them?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Like a group of friends? And then you've got the
friends that don't talk to the other friends, but they
know the other friends. So it's like a you know,
a little segregated like little groups of segregation within big.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So you've got the group chat, which is no Courtney.
Do you remember that from the Kardashians No Courtney that
Kim was trying to attack Corney and she said, we've
all got a group chat with all your friends and
it's just literally called not Courney.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Well we do that, but not intentionally. So it was like,
these people don't know them well enough to be in
the group chat with just them.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Oh okay. So there's imagine being upgraded to the group
chat and you're like, oh my god, I've been added
into the main I've made.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
It, I reckon without including work ones. I'm in about sixteen.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Oh that's a lot. Yeah, now our work group chat.
Can you tell everyone what that name is? Now? Keep
in mind we work at Nova.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Yeah, so the group chat that we have is called
Nova Jinas. Yes, that's right, but there is but there
is Gina's in there.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
There is probably more than there are Nova vaginas.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
No, I would say there's I don't know how to
say this without sounding crude. There's there's more sausage in there, rightage, Yes,
but no, I was looking through some of them the
other day and I was like, if anyone saw what
we wrote to each other without any context or knowing
any part of what the group was about, cancel.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yes, yeah, absolutely, and sometimes.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yes, And I've got them written down. Okay, So I've
got a little selection for you.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
So these are text messages that have been in the
group chat. Oh please, I want.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I won't give any names. I won't throw anyone under
the bus. You may be in some of these, No, no,
I don't think you are in these ways. Okay, don't
let me nin tequila again? Ever again?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Which is pretty pretty fair enough.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
This one I love. There is a why is there
glitter in my toast?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I actually want to know the answer. Why was the
glitter in the toast?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I don't think there were I think it was a
night out. They'd been out to a club in Sydney.
Glitter gets everywhere. It's called the herpes of the craft
world for good reason. You have any glitter anywhere near,
you'll be finding it in your bed everywhere, and apparently
in your toast.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, you're not wrong.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
The chicken is alive and in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
That's hangover style. That's what happens when they wake up.
They open the bathroom, there's well, there's a tiger, but
there's also chickens running around.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
That's from a friend of mine that lives on a farm.
I accidentally stole a shopping trolley. Do I take it
back or is it mine?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Now that's actually a good question. When can you keep
a shopping trolley obviously didn't have one of those lock mechanisms.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
No, they're so annoying, especially when you're in a car
park and you're trying to take it to your car
and it's like trolleys will not work past this point
and you get to that point and they just lock.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I know. Do you know they still do? Do they
still do those trolley ransoms like we've got a thousand
bucks if you can give us back a trolley?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I think they do.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Why don't people just steal trolleys for twelve months and
then give.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Them back, because I think if they're like, hold on,
you've just pocketed one hundred and twenty thousand dollars from
us with trolley's, I think you're running a little will.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
A full time job. I steal trolleys.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
You're running a trolley racket. Can someone pick me up?
I'm at awake and I just said congrats. Help. I
think I just joined a cult.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah, that can happen.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
This one is very topical at the moment, I just
told my boss I love you, and I hung up
the phone.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Very topical.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That wasn't from me, it was it. It was not
from me. What's that thing called when your teeth get
tired of existing?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Sometimes I feel that.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I think it's just called depression. I don't know. It's
like I looked at that and I went what it was?
Just on its own in the middle of the group chat.
No one answered it.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's teeth, right, Yeah, what's.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
The thing called when you get tired of your teeth existing?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, like your teeth hurt. I get sometimes I'm like,
I wish I was all guns.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
And this was my personal favorite. Okay, I want to
get this. You know when they do cross stitch and
they put it on the wall home sweet Home. I
want to get this done like that. I brought a cactus.
I named it Susan. I'm not okay?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Is Jess and Shaye? I love on a TikTok video
when the comments section is just popping off.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Isn't it great? Sometimes I go in there just to
see what's going on. Like, I won't even watch the video.
I go all the comments on this are going to
be great, straight to the comments.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And I think the videos that have the most views
are the where the comments far exceed the actual video
so much better. This guy threw it out there, what's
a mistake you've made in your career? Not and I
sent an email to the wrong person, but something that
shook the company, and I was like, this is gonna
be good. And there was some absolute pearlas on there. Yeah, okay,
Sophie said. I printed multiple huge banners for a conference
(26:17):
that said fossil fuels are our only chance instead of
fossil free is our only chance. I work for a
renewable energy company.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
You wouldn't you just want to crawl into a hole. Ah,
I don't know what you do?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Want to become a fossil Yeah, for sure, this is
very good. Ashley said. I wrote a profile for a
teacher candidate that said she enjoyed torturing students with special
education needs. What I meant to type was tutoring. It
went out to hundreds of schools.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I'd see that would be something that happens to me.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Do you feel like you a typo would be your undoing?
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, I could see that for you. This accounts had
accidentally unmitted my mic during a huge use of test
where I'm the test manager, and I accidentally rolled my
chair desk into my dog. He screamed, I screamed. The
tech lead, who was just answering a question, started laughing.
I said, I'm so sorry, I'm run over.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
That was my biggest fear of being on all of
those calls during lockdown, that I would do something while
my microphone was on.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yes, and I'm not. You're gonna say that, your partner
would bark. Jack said, I worked for a criminal defense attorney.
She missed the first day of a murder trial for
her client because I forgot to add it into her calendar.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Oh does that mean that she loses?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Like, I don't know, what do you do in that circumstance.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Surely if your lawyer doesn't turn up, they're not going
to go ah whoops. It was just a little clerical error.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
That makes the jury feel more sorry for you, Like Wow,
they don't even show up for you.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
No, I think i'd.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Be a sucker on a jury.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You would, Yeah, I would. You would.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
My coworker locked a customer in the building overnight.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I've been locked in a building later. Oh yeah, it
was the most terrifying thing.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I need way more details.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
So I worked at a place that was like, it
was how do I explain it? Lighting? Entertainment lighting, and
everything locked from the outside, Like there was no like,
if you were to leave, you can't get out of
the building because it's locked. And everything is expensive, so
there's locks on the outside. Yeah, And I remember going, oh,
(28:21):
I'll just be like a few seconds. Everything got really
really dark, really really quickly. And then I went to
leave and there was no one around, and I was like,
what's going on? Went to try the door, didn't open.
Went oh no, what do I do? Tried another door,
didn't open, tried a fire escape, wouldn't work. I was like,
what do I I'm stuck, So what do you do?
I had to call the boss and say come and
(28:42):
let me out. Boston answer the phone. I started to
panic because I was like, I'm stuck in here, and
then of course I start catastrophizing going if there's a fire,
I'm stuck.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Oh yeah, actually that is a fire issue.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Well, it was like the building was old, so to
be able to push through the fire escape, it must
have just been stuck like I Probably if I shoulder budd,
I would have got out.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
If you felt a little bit more of a threat,
you could have done it.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah. If I felt like a man, I would have
been able to.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Get I mean, it's like an expensive way to sleep
with a night light, isn't it locking yourself in an.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
I've done it in this building.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
You can get out of this building.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
So I was in the fire escape and I went down.
I didn't know where to go to get out, so
I went to one door and I was like, this
is this the way out is? It's like a like
a rabbit warren.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Like a maze. Yeah, and we got you in our trap,
you rabbit.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
You said it a little.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Funny, you funny, little funny, Okay, Lindall said, I used
a free image that said Mary Chris Merry Christmas, but
it was spelled Christmas with ass in capitals at the end.
So Mary Chris mass asked for our newsletter, and I
said it to hundreds of donors for our Christian non
for profit.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Oh so, not only did you do a spelling mistake,
but you have sent something.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
From all the target audience that's not the one you
want for me thought my mic was off before a
team meeting, and I said, not in the mood for
these clowns today. And then the very last one, Oh,
this is a doozy okay hit me synchronized my Men's
duration app calendar with the company's calendar and everyone's received
(30:14):
the notification about my ovulation.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Did you die? I mean I could never do that,
because I would never very true.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
It's very true, but I mean it's one way to
cycle on out of there. This is Jess and Shay, So.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I don't know whether your FYP is the same as mine.
When I'm on TikTok, I gets cooked things fed to me.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Do you ever get something served on your algorithm and
you go, what did I possibly search to get this?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Or the opposite of that, I search that. Now I
can't get rid of it everywhere.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
That can happen. My dad's got on Instagram. He doesn't
really know how to use it, Like I watched him
open the Instagram app in front of me yesterday and
it said seventy frand requests one hundred comments, like five
thousand likes. He's never tap the notification thing.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
It's like Ollie that we work with.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
He never taps it.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
No, his notifications for his text messages on his phone.
He's like two hundred and something.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
That's an illness. But my dad went on some sort
of reel and then he scrolled to the next one.
It was cricket. Ah. They scrolled to the next and
it was cricket and he oh, he geez, they really
know I like cricket. I was like, it's an algorithm.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, let's see exactly how the algorithm works. It's feeding
your you know, serah tone and making you happy. No,
this guy JJ Cowen, he he does this thing. And
I've got a little bit of audio for you. Let's
have a listen.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
My trouble eye for cottage to Yonder public House?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
What for my word it burns may not make it?
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Who do you think you are? I left mother an
metal turret for the drink?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Does call yet?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
My constitution is.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
So do you know what he was asking for?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Is it a ride to the pub or something?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
So the local house, which is the pub in my
metal chariot the car. I don't give me a lift
in your car because my constitution is weak. He needs
a little bit of Dutch courage, so needs to go
and have a drink to.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Keep his The best thought is of him putting that
into Google and saying, translate this into old Victorian language.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
It's just so good. So what I thought i'd do,
I've done something myself.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Translate what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Would you like some like Oldish music?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah, it might just lift it up a little bit. Okay,
so the first one hang on.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Anything we say from now one is going to sound
way better with this music.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Of course, posh Victorian child is here. Father says we
must cut back on luxuries. So the butler's been netgirl,
and now we share a corchette between meals.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Okay, cost of living's goddess. Dad said, I ain't working
no more. We've got to get rid of the nanny
and a corchette between meals. I don't know what a
courgette is. Is that a piece of lettuce.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Kind of like a small small meal.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
So you almost I'm going to I'm in charge of
the Dean I've dan.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
My translation is inflation is so cooked that I'm splitting
a twelve dollars zucchini with my flat mate. Like its caveat?
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Can I to say, where's bloody curdistone with his ten
dollar meals? Now the cost of living's here? You can't
even mind mints for ten bucks.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Anyway, correct? I think those ten dollar meals could be
looked at in a little Do.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You think the a triple C should get onto it?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Well, I mean you can't even buy a block of
cheese for that now. Yeah, this one's about housing words.
Our third parlor has been converted into a rentable suite.
Imagine strangers transversing your billiard's room on chaperone.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Okay, that to me, says cost of Living again has
heard us the little granny flat we have out the
back where we have the pool table that is now
being rented out to someone under the table, but for
an exuberant price.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
We're renting out the laundry on Airbnb one hundred dollars
a night, and it includes a view of the hot
water Zoom fatigue. Like going back to twenty twenty, another
engagement the magic mirror, where I am unexpected to smile
unexpected within to smile and not most enthusiastically for forty
five minutes.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
My spirit will that is so reflective of any team's call,
any zoom call ever. I like it.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, back to back zoom calls have got me turned
into a human loading screen. I requested a simple salad
for luncheon and I was informed that the let us
alone would require a down payment.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I mean that just shouts to me. You've gone to
the most expensive restaurant in the city, and the appetizer
or the side salad is like forty bucks.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I'll let us now cost more than my childhood hopes
and dreams combined. Ice bag. Right ahead ahead, this one,
you'll I'm not even going to give you what this
is about. The invisible threads which connect us to faraway
lands and entertainment have gossiped and vanished. I am adrift
in a sea of silence.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Okay, Instagram is down, so where you normally might chat
to people on dms and upload pictures and see your
friends overseas, you now can't see anything.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
My Internet's down, and I don't know how to exist
without Netflix.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Wile doing scrolling, I went too specific on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
My mind is dreadfully fatigued. I attempted to write a
single email promptly and needed a lay down and a
cool cloth.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Can I just say trying to explain to a Victorian
child what an email is. Yes, that would make them
lie down in a cool cloth, that's for sure, is Jess,
And say, this is good to know if you're going
in for surgery anytime soon. I know you mentioned you
have a bad back. You're not due for a back
replacement or anything.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I know, and I don't think I would ever because
I'm so scared of needles and like that surgery.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I'm not surprised your backsaw, you've been carrying this show
on your back for three weeks now.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I wouldn't say that. I think we've done equal I
think you and I are pretty good.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Do you think we're actually a good team? Hey? High
five across the desk. Oh, I've gotta work life fives
go back? Did you actually? Hey? At least you can
claim that work is calm.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Now we have the whole thing recorded on all of
these cameras.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, all eight of them. Now, if you do go
in for an operation, good news is playing music during
an operation reduces the need for anesthesia. Am saying that right,
anesthesia and I sound like anasthesia. Anastesia.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
That's one of the hardest words in the English languages.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And it's spelled so ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
The anesthetic anesthesia.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Aesthesia is like a greedy little thing when it comes
to vowels. A A E I A.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I can't even I wouldn't be able to spell it.
Don't make me you want to try? No, go on
anesthetical anesthesia.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Anesthesia A E no A N yep A go again
A n A eye e.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Sup on an extra A N now n A E
A n A E s t h yep e T
no T. See that's so hard.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
It's a n A E s t h E s
i A for anyone that made it through no expects
of claim that listening to records can reduce the pain
in ease concerns and anxiety about the surgical procedure itself.
Music can help to calm down, to reduce worries, and
even reduce pain.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Now, if someone said to me, you're going in for surgery,
your back's stuffed and you need to have surgery. We're
just gonna put a little bit of Sabrina Carpentern.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Can you imagine taste Well? I actually had to think
about this. Here are three songs you don't want to hear.
You don't want them replacing the anesthesia with This is
the first one. It's the Beg staying alive, of course.
And then imagine you're in surgery and someone puts this
track on R E M.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Everybody hurts No, that song just makes me feel sad.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Well, i'd be sad if someone played it in surgery,
thinking it would make me fraid. Okay, And then what
about this one? This is a final one. You don't
ever want to hear a doctor say, you know, code
Black play the song and it's just queen. Another one
bites the dust.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
I knew it was coming. I just have this image
of this guy, the guy, the surgeon, taking off his
scrubs and just you know, alley ooping them into the corner,
into the bin.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Another one and he goes to be fair. The song
did make me experience less pain in having to tell
the family you're listening to Jess and Shay. I don't
know ever.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
So there's a phrase that I like to utter to
myself when I see something that probably shouldn't exist?
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Is that you are enough?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
You are kanough, No, it's that's a bit how you gon.
It's a bit how you gon.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I don't really get when people say that. Does that
mean it's a bit like iffy?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, it's like, yeah, you shouldn't be doing it, that
shouldn't exist.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh okay, so you know that's a bit.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Hey. You some example that I've written down of things
that i've actually see. Yeah, a grown man walking barefoot
into Bunnings with a snake around his neck. He didn't
get far because they didn't let him in. But that's
a bit how you gn?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
That is a bit a gun? What's called snake? Was it?
Speaker 2 (39:13):
It's like one of those yellow ones, kind of like Britney.
Really he was, ah yah, I think they call them
an albino python, like they've got no color.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Do you know what they said when he walked into Bunnings.
Here's a spade for you? Was it slave for you?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
I think so?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Yeah, I was going toxic. But I think that's the
one on the plane, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
That is the one on the plane, right?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah? A Cole's worker using the self service checkout to
buy themselves a banana. It's a banana. Just take it.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Oh you think that they like, they get in trouble
if they nicked a banana. It's a bit how you
But they give bananas, free bananas to kids.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
They do, so just give them to you, like, surely
they don't cost that much.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
My kid always takes a banana and an apple, and
I feel the weight of the world. The guilt hits me.
I don't think he meant to take two free pieces
of fruit. Little thing.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
As a kid. I remember always going to the deli
and asking for a Frankfurt as.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
A kid, and they give you one. Was it hot?
Speaker 2 (40:08):
No? No cold? I used to love.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
They must have thought you were poor and homeless child.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
A guy brushing his teeth on the freeway with a
bottle of Mount Franklin.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
It's a bit how you go.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
That's really how you got.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
A pigeon dragging a sausage roll bigger than itself through
the food court.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
I have a name.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Wow, I never thought of anyone that is an Australian
listening to this podcast and thinking that we're not putting
on an accent when we're saying has a gown.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
I constantly get from my personal TikTok, people going, I
love your accent. I don't have one.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
That's very American of you to say Americans think they
don't of accents.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
They do here a mile away. Do I have an accent?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Well, like we all have an accent to someone. Yeah,
but that's how accents work. I don't think if there
was one country or one accent, there wasn't an accent.
It was just a voice, and then everyone else has
an accent. What would it be. It's probably going to
be British, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah, But that's like the biggest accent of all. I know,
what do you They've got so much about that.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Like Transatlantic, like Australian American kind of British, like Nicole
kidman speaks without an accent? Really?
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah? What was the one that they used to have
in Australia as well? All of the newsreaders used to
have it here and it used to be like the
man is coming up, yes, yes, and.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
The man's out on the street and the anticipation was wild.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Fun fact, they used to actually teach people in Hollywood
how to speak with no accent at all, so that
Transatlantic thing used to come in they really yeah, because
they didn't want anyone from other countries to have to
identify with it. So there was an American doing an
American accent, but they weren't actually doing American or English
or anything. Really, they were just doing an accent, which
(42:07):
became the transatlant here.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
That is absolutely astounding, And I.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Mean, I think I've just learnt the idea of if
you say anything with confidence, because I don't know, maybe
I was just making that up.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
That did sound believable, very believable. Believe. I think the
accents come off for me unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
But if you watch any of those old style movies,
like you know, fred Astaire Ginger, Rogers, like all of those,
they all.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Spoke, all of the silent movies, You're right. We found
the one place where there's no accent.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
So I was not telling a lie.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
You're listening to Jess and Shaye. I don't ever. We
talked about this a little while ago. But how much
time you spend on social media day? So much time
is a lot of it on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Most of mine's on TikTok oh, TikTok. I lose so
much of my life just doom scrolling on TikTok, and
I don't know why. It's because I'm I've heard that
whole thing of you scroll because you're looking for that
serotonin here.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
You're looking for the new thing, dopamine hit.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I'm like that. I could go to bed, like I
have to go to bed early ish, I can be
laying in bed and until I find something that actually
tickles my fancy, I will keep scrolling.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Do you know what we need? You know, when you
go on a roller coaster that's obviously like a big
serotonin dopamin hit, dopamine hit, and you stand in line
for it for say twenty minutes, and you're like excited,
and you're getting closer and closer, and you think they're
gonna let you in, and then you gotta check your
high enough and then they strap you in and then
you go on. It's like three minutes of amazing. Then
you get off and then you have the high. Maybe
we need that for social media. So the apploads for
(43:29):
twenty minutes and you're getting closer and closer and you
know it, and then you get three minutes of amazing
videos and then it's all over and you just get
to remember it and then maybe they take a picture
of you when you're watching the best video, and then
that pops up on your screen.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
At the end, you're just screaming. Ah, sounds a bit
like my sex life.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Okay, Well, if you're spending a lot of time on Instagram,
you might be like Nisha, a woman from India. Indian
police recently reported this interesting case. She has filed a
complaint against her husband, claiming that he was asking her
to spa and less time on social media. It's caused
her to lose followers. He wanted her to do more
chores and get off Insta. She did that, did the housework,
(44:08):
and now she's suffering the consequences on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
So she's doing the housework instead of doing her social
media so therefore losing followers because she's lost the moment.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, she said, My followers declined. As I was kept
busy washing utensils and cleaning the house by my husband,
I didn't get time to make reel.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
She missed an opportunity there. She should have made reels
about cleaning the house and how to clean the house.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Oh, that's so true.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
So she's doing two things.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
There is a great account. I think this girl might
have ADHD and she puts off doing stuff. So for example,
cleaning the kitchen, paying the red Joe, that sort of thing,
and her whole account is how many minutes does it
actually take? So she goes cleaning the bathroom. I've put
it off for three weeks. Now I'm gonna film a
video of how long it actually takes. And then she
puts on the screen three minutes and people in the
comments are going, that's amazing. I'm now gonna go and
(44:51):
clean the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I reckon. Everything that I do in my house is
from a TikTok or an Instagram reel of how to
do it. How to clean your glass in the shower.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
You've just hacked your whole life. And tell me, are
you showering with windecks and using the scrubby as you
do it all?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
No, So the way to clean your the way to
clean your glass on your shower screen without having to.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Say glass just checking not us.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
It's a glass with and l glass on your shower
screen is to get you know, the little things you
put in.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
The dishwasher, Oh yeah, like a tablet.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Yeah, use that insider scrubber. So get the scrubber. The
what's it called the sponge? The cut a little square
in it, the size of it and that used that really?
Speaker 1 (45:32):
And does it work?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Cut straight through everything? It will literally cut.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Down the grime, save the time, correct itself.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
It's a very expensive way to do it, but isn't it?
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Isn't it? And weird to see you washing all of
your dishes in the shower, And it's your life. It's
your life now. My wife does amazing work around the house,
amazing work in our relationship. She's an amazing mother. I
cannot falter in any way, shape or form.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
But she's lost Instagram followers.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Yeah, she's really slackened. She's only on three thirty. It's
embarrass No. There's one thing she does do when she
is cleaning up, and that is anytime I bring something
out to say I needed milk, and I took the
milk out, I'd then turn around to grab a cup
and I'd look back in the milks back in the fridge.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
She's micromanaging.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
She's like a silent little demon that follows me. Everything
I do. She undoes because she likes it clean. Divorce.
I won't go that far because there's many other great
attributes But last night I secretly recorded her and I
told her about this article, and I said, what would
happen if you know, we had to go to a
court of law because you keep cleaning up after me. Now,
when I put it like that, you keep cleaning up
(46:35):
after me, it doesn't sound as good. It makes me
sound like a terrible partner.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
It makes you sound like the slob.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
And you know what time will tell if that is true. However,
I enjoy this secretly recorded audio. Do you think if
I sued you in a court of law you would
stop doing that? No, because it's not just you. I've
done this my whole life. If a judge said you
must legally stop doing that, I don't think it would
because it's all great. So I have to go to prison,
(47:01):
like I even do it to myself, That's what I mean,
Like I'm not doing it. Can you imagine being imprison
you for that's where my shank went. Remember I was like,
I promise to stop my provature cleaning prematures. That was
(47:27):
a very funny moment in our house. Yeah, I promised
to stop my premature cleaning.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
That I was going your brain and mind works so
so similar because I went straight to premature cleanulation.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Wait to tell me I'm not unique, is Jess?
Speaker 2 (47:47):
And for another week?
Speaker 1 (47:49):
I know it's hard to believe the fun is all done.
And you know what, I don't have any other fun
in any of the other hours, of any of the
other days. It's only here when I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
It's only people that have messaged me and said I've
left a review, but it's not coming up yet.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
I think they take like it's like a cumulative thing.
So when cumuli, that's a very hard try spell it
accumulative thing. So when you leave a review and you
give us, like, you know, five stars, because if you
don't leave five stars, I'll come to your house. But
five stars, and then you leave a little review like
I love this show, They're so funny, love Just and Shay.
(48:25):
Then it takes a bit of time, so there's a
few that will join, and then I think they put
up like if there's more than five then oh.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Okay, So you're asking for a review. Do you know
what would be interesting is if people do it, and
I do encourage you five stars and a review come
to your house. You pick the stars, you get the stars.
Three and above though, would be nice. No, four, four
and above.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
Five is even better.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Five is wonderful. No. If the reviews then get posted
and all the people that told you they left a review,
they were like, yeah, this show is pretty average.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
They gave it five stars anyway, because you told me
you were going to come to my house.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yes, yeah, it's a quick way to get you over
for a party, that's for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Yeah. Also follow us on TikTok Jess and Shae find
us there and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Sounds fantastic to me. I'll be here, same place, same time.
I maybe you're going to think about it. Yeah, well
let me know. I mean here one half of it.
If you're not here, I'm in trouble. Correct, It's just
just next week. Just es see you then? Is Jess
and Shade or great shows like this? Download the Nova
(49:25):
player
Speaker 2 (49:25):
Fine the app Store or Google Play the player
Really. I love you. I love you guys so much.
I love looking at you guys.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Yes, welcome back to the podcast Week three. Can you
believe they let us back?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I I know. I don't know if they know we're
doing the podcast, to be honest, I.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Wait every time we've done it for them to send
a little email and go, hey, guys, just enough.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
You go now. They gave us up work. Surely they
know it's up there.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
They made us do a photo shoot, which we're very uncomfortable. Yes,
I mean you can see it in my eyes if
you look closely. It's like, let's go on.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But I'm still got to call you out for that
photo like the photo shoot, because I was you made
me do the single individual shots first, and I was like,
I'm so awkward. Give me some poses, and you're like,
I don't know any poses. And then you got in
front of the camera and you were like finger guns,
hair up, hand in pocket. And then you said, I've
done fourteen of these before yet no advice for your
old mates.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, because I think I've said this before. I'm not
as young as I look like I actually am, and
I'm a lot older than people give me around.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I've very like you're a young looking seventy four though.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Seventy four wow, flatter me at least ninety six? What
I stopped counting. No, I've done heaps of them, so many.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yeah, but no advice for me. That's what I'm saying.
We're co hosts. This is like we're going into battle.
We're an army. We're in the same battalion, which is
you've got to be there for me on the front line.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I don't know how to tell someone else your body
looks good when you do something like this. I just
don't know how to say that fair enough. Yeah, it's
really it's really difficult. Hey, I'm speaking of things that
are difficult. Later in the podcast, you made me call
someone and I hate it every minute of it. You
sprung it off, Yes I did, and I don't like it.
And apparently we're doing it again next week too.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What did you just call to Shay to them?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I had to had to get them to Shay. I
love you, Yes you did, which I love a good pun.
And you got me there.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
We'll find out how we went. That's coming up in
the board is just and Shae.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Every time I try and do something as an adult,
I go, no one taught me how to do this?
How do I do this? Again?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
There's a lot of things like that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, there's so many things like I do things now
as I live alone, and I look at things and
I go, how did I know? How do I know
how to do this? No one taught me?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
What's an example?
Speaker 2 (02:18):
So when you fill a dishwasher? You put things in
the dish washer, and you go, all right, I know
where things go. Is there a right or wrong way
to do it?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think the only right way is do you ever
like put your hand up and under and you spin
the fan just to check it's not going to hit anything?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, or whatever?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
The thing is called the washer, the washer. As long
as it doesn't hit anything, you're sweet, your golden.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
So is that is that the measure of you've done
the right thing as an adult?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I think so? That? And making sure everything's kind of
like upside down, so like the dirty stuff face it
down so the water shoots up to it right.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Well at the moment too, it's tax time, right, and
I don't know what to claim. I've got no idea.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Oh, I'm going to introduce you to someone you're gonna love. Oh, really,
it's called an accountant. You everything back. You know that
if you claim an accountant, you then claim them the
next year.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You got to wait twelve months to claim that though, Oh.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
It's two hundred bucks easy.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
So the tax is one thing. But then I was thinking,
you know health insurance.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Oh talking to speaking of scams.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, well that's what I feel. It's a scam until
I hurt my back, and I felt every year of
my thirty nine years on this planet, I went, maybe
it's not a scam. Maybe I need it because to
pay for the stuff that you need to get done.
When you hurt, you're bad. It's a bit of a nightmare. Also,
when you go to Bunnings, you need to learn how
to not buy things you don't need. And you are
not a DIY expert.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
That's very true. I think the biggest thing you can
learn as an adult is knowing when to step in
and say I need someone to.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Help me here, I need help, And that's a good thing.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I read this great thing that someone's grandpa did marketing wise,
they would I think they must have been a builder
of plumber or something, and they sent out free sets
of screwdrivers with their number on the handle of the screwdriver,
so that when the person chucked it in couldn't do it,
they'd look at the screw driver. Right there, there's the
number to call.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Flat pack furniture. Are you good at it?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
No? I'm so bad at it.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
See. I think it's something to do with creative brains,
because you're very creative. I'm very creative. I can't do
flat pack furniture, no, because I try to make it
into something that it's not supposed to be.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
The other thing that I really wish I had been
taught as an adult is how to keep tupwear clean.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I mean, I don't think anyone can teach that. That
is like a forgotten skill that no one has ever mastered.
Especially if you have a pastor it. You're absolutely screwed.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
That's what I was going to say. I got one
last week and it's already not even seven days and
it's got red tinge in the bottom from pass down.
I can't get rid of it. How do you do?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I don't know if you can. I think the only
thing you can do is chuck it out and like,
Lord knows, you've had it for a week. I'm surprised
you've still got the lid and the container that it
actually fits together.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's a riddle that no one will ever be able
to solve.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Well is Jess and Shay. Obviously in the media there
has been a lot, a lot, a lot of talk
about a very famous beef on Wellington, Oh.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yes, and so many podcasts about it as well.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
I know, haven't there been Like you can't open a
Spotify app and not find a mushroom case podcast, which
is why I thought this article was very interesting. And
I mean keep in mind that at the other end
of any crime there's the people that had impacted and
the victims. So I found this quite concerning. The surge
in serial killer baby names is rising as a twenty
(05:29):
twenty five parenting trend emerges.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
That would have something to do with the Jeffrey Dharma
thing like in the Rodriguez Brothers on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I think it does, because as soon as something goes
on Netflix, it kind of loses all relevance that it
was an actual case to people, and it comes up
a TV. But this is where there's been a rise
in Anna who we know Anna Delvi, the fake heiress.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
What are you wearing? You look poor?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
That's some excellent voice. Excellent voice. Arthur Who was the
Zodiac Killer suspect Arthur Lee Allen.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Oh, he's the guy who looks like a little bit
like Johnny Depp.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
He does look a bit like Don't you think that
some actors when they do see crimes, they're going payday? No,
I could play I like him. This one. I don't
know if anyone is calling their daughter bella inspired by
wellness scammer Bell Gibson.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
No Bell after Bell and beauty and the Beast.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
That makes way more sense. And then this was the
weird one I saw on here, and I just don't
think anyone's doing it in this current climate. Aerin after
Aaron Patterson dubbed the mushroom killer allegedly.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
No, I mean, why would you. It's not even like
it's just a regular name.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
It doesn't make any sense at all. So I thought
what I would do is I found a list of
actual names of people that are serial killers from history
gone years and years ago. Can we do a round
of serial killer or influencer?
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Okay, you have to guess if I'm ready out the
name of a serial killer or an influencer, And just
for that little bit of extra icing on top. Why
don't you try and tell me how many followers this
person might have.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
I won't be good at that.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, let's do it, Velma Barfield. Oh is that a
serial killer and influencer?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
That has to be a serial killer?
Speaker 1 (07:06):
It is a serial killer. You didn't give me followers,
which meant I knew. Oh, hang on. Followers in relation
to serial killers is a very different thing to Instagram,
isn't it? Followers with her exactly? Giovanna Fletcher. I hope
I'm pronouncing that correctly.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Influencer for sure?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
How did you know that?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Because there was no one in nineteen thirty Chicago called Giovanna.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Actress, mum, author? And she is how many follows? Two
million followers for Shananah Fletcher? Okay, Daisy d Melker serial killer?
How did you know that?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Daisy? Again, she's going to be made into a musical
with two killers that live in Cook County jail? You
know from Chicago.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Don't you think that that's the perfect influence? And I
know Daisy? Hey, guys, Daisy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Here, it's the surname.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, you got me there? Okay, Lavinia Fisher.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Ooh, that's a hard one. But I'm going to say
influencer wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Damn it, she is in fact a serial killer. Okay,
let's go with someone else. Her name is Robin Wiggins Towel.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
If she's an influencer and she could possibly be listening
to this, I'm sorry, but I'm going to say influence
her last her name because she's.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
A mum of six, a grandma of four, clothing designer,
women in powerment and coaching is the thing, and she's
Missus International twenty nineteen, only has a humble thirty thousand
Instagram followers.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
And has not killed a single person.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
That we know of. Absolutely not. Okay, in the final one,
Binky Feldsteed, is that a serial killer or an influencer?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I want to say serial killer because you know, if
you were to say in the news, oh, look out
for Binkie.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Think he's about Yeah, yeah, thinky Bill.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I think I've got it wrong.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah, she's an influencer. She's a mummy of three, she
likes fashion, beauty, everything in between. She's the founder and
investor of We Are Nolo, and she has one point
four million followers. Binky gone on the bink of an eye.
I don't want to know is Jess and say I
love you. What Sorry it slipped out. No, I came
(09:07):
across a great video on TikTok. Now, keep in mind
this is happening over in the UK, so the accents
are a little bit difficult to understand, only because they're
talking very quickly in their native tongue, much like I am. Now.
Their native tongue is obviously English, but there's a bit
of an accent. But essentially, I just want you to hear.
This is the postman dropping off a letter to a woman.
They've caught this on the ring doorbell. Have a listened
to what she says back to him. She's dropped and
(09:40):
I love you to the postman.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Who I've done that before, have you? Yeah? I don
it at work? Actually I said it to Tommy that
we work with our boss. Yeah, I've said it. I
was leaving, I was like, love you and then it
just went What did.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Tom say back? Curious? That's nice because he loves me.
That's what I want to know. How hard is it
to get and I love you out of a stranger.
So if you don't think so, we're gonna play this.
I just I just called to Shay, I love you.
(10:15):
You need to call a random business that's going to
be open at this time, so most likely a restaurant,
and just before they hang up and finish the phone call,
they have to say I love you back to you.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
See this is two of my worst nightmares, combined calling
and talking to someone that I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yes, that resonates and love and love. You need to
open your heart.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I do, but I'm scared of love and I don't
like calling people that I don't know. This is awful.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Let's face some fears here tonight together. Do you think
you can do it?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Okay, this is a local restaurant. Have a think about
what you might ask them, But you need to get
them to say I love you.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
What else can What is the restaurant?
Speaker 1 (10:54):
It's an Italian restaurant, so maybe go with something along
the lines of pizza or something like that. That's not
a bad idea. Okay, let me type the number on.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
What if it's a guy that answers?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Even better, if you can get and I love you
out of a like a guy that you don't know,
I'm going to give you a million bucks.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Okay, so I have to do it. Before they hang up.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Before they hang ou yeah, be weird.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
If they said it after, well maybe I would be
the winner.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Good luck, Okay, I'm going to help you. Hi.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
My name is Shaye. How are you good? Thank you?
Just wondering do you guys have pizza at all? Pizza?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
You mean like they're just applying bread or.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Just just any type of pizza is really just like
a lunchtime kind of thing to come in and have
lunch with pizza.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, yeah, but like we don't do like it's a
round pizza.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
We we call pizza like some witch.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Okay, that that sounds really nice. And then in the
way of dessert, do you have any to teller, like
anything with the teller in it? We croissan and douna yeah,
and in the Natella croissant, does it have a lot
of nutella? Because I like a lot of natella.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah, that's excellent.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Okay people, all right, well I might see you for lunch.
I might see you for lunch this week. All right, yeah, beautiful, Okay,
thank you so much, love you, thank you, love you, bye,
I love you. Oh she would have none of my mess?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Oh no, but hey, at least you can leave plenty
of Natella on the plate.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, but Nantella on a pizza is what I was
really after.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Know what you're after is I love you know?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
But she didn't want to give me any absolute fail.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Okay, maybe we try next week.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I don't want to. Maybe you try it next week.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Jess doesn't go in. I just called to Shay. I
love it, Thank goodness.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
All right?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
And so are you familiar with Bluis?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, of course, I've got a two year old child.
I thought you might be Blueye is his third parrot.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Blue is who looks after him when you don't want to?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yes, yeah, it's a bit of Blueing going on. Attracted
Ted as well. I don't know if any of the
parents know that one. It's like they film in this
farm yard and it's just this farmer that goes around
and like milks cows, picks apples. But they've put a
cgi tractor named Ted that follows him along.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
See, kids have such cool things these days. You know
what I had when I was a kid, Johnson and Friends. Johnson.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I loved Johnson and Friends.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Terrified.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I wanted to go into that room so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
No, not me, I was terrified by that. I think
she was an accordion.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Alfred the hot water bottle. Yes, yes, No. I bring
it up because on On Blueye apparently there's a weird
food combination which I think would work quite well. It's
a sausage a sausage sizzle, a sage cigarette sausage sizzle,
but fairy bread is the underpart.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Oh, I don't know how I feel.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
See, I love sweet and savory together.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
But do you put sauce on it? That's probably the
main question.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
I don't know you put sauce or would you put
like icing that cake ice?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
It's a bit weird now I think about it. Yeah,
it's like having a meat cake, you know what I mean.
It's like having a cupcake and then there's a chicken
skewer hanging out the top of it.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I see. That's another topic altogether. Cupcakes that are savory, No,
that's a muffin, savory muffin, savory cupcake muffin.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
What's the difference, I don't know. I think it's genuinely
comes down to one of them is in one of
those paper wrappings, and then the other one is taller.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
I don't know, but it got me thinking like there's
some other weird food combinations that I have. I don't
think they're weird, but you may. Okay. So when you
go to McDonald's and you get the French fries, yeah,
and you dip them in the ice cream?
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Do you do that?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Of course?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Okay, so maybe it's not weird. It's so weird.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Peanut butter and a burger, oh like unless it was
a sate burger.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Well, that's what it does. It kind of gives it
that little sarte zing to it.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
I don't love it. I don't love it, so it
keep it weird.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Strawberries and volsamic vinegar.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
See. When I first heard about this, I went, no way,
you've got to be kidding.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I can probably see where it would work.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
It's actually really really good, and I'm similar to that.
Mangoes with chili powder on them.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Nuh why. I just don't like that thought of that
at all. It's like really like spicy mango.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, but sweet at the same time.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I don't really like chili though, so I might be
letting you down.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Yeah. When you go to the movies and you get
popcorn and malteesers, mix them together.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Perfect? Perfect now we're talking chocolate.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
It's so damn good. VEG. You might avocado on toast.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah, I could see it because I salt my avocado toasters.
I think everyone does, not too much salt, though not
too much salt, but like Vegi much just giving you
the salt underneath.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Really, and this one I think is genius and I
think everyone should do it, or at least try it
once because you will be sending me emails to say
I love you so much. Instant noodles on a cheese toasting,
So you make the noodles, make sure they're not dripping wet,
so you may make sure that they're dry, put them
in your cheese toasty, and then grill it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
That's sickening.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
You're looking at me like I've just done something really bad.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
I just the carbs and the cheese. It's like a
heart attack in a jaffle.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
But it's it's it's actually quite good for you. So
it is a lot for you. Well, it's a lot
of carbs, and it's like there's nothing else in it.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Except the only time I'd eat it is if I
was rolling like thirty k the next day and I
was like carblading, like, let's.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Go, trust me, don't knock it until you try it.
You have to try it because it is so damn good.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
All right, why don't I try it? And the next
week I'll give you my report?
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Yeah, make sure you feel what I want to see.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Okay, Well that'll go well with all the other videos.
Is Jess and Sha. You don't have any nicknames for me,
do you?
Speaker 2 (16:48):
For you?
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, you just call me Jess. You just call me
regular old Jess, j ma. Oh, you do call me
j Max sometimes not to your face, though, calling me
Jack behind my back? Would you be.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Weird like I? Actually, I don't even I wouldn't. No,
I don't think I maybe Jess Mac. I've said to
other people Jess Mac, did that? Go and see Jess Mac.
But I would never say to you, hey, Jess Mac, No.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That would be weird. And you'd never call me baby,
sweetheart or angel, would you or? Experts revealed that those
three nicknames used in relationships mean it's doomed to fail.
I'm in a bit of trouble there. Why wear a
babe couple?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Oh no, yeah, yeah, I used to. When I was
in a relationship, it used to be babe or baby
and I used to do it to make him feel
really uncomfortable when we were out in certain situations. So
we'd be like shopping and stuff and they'd be.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Like, baby, nothing like threatening your partner just with a
cute little cute see nickname. Yes, babe or baby, sweetheart
or angel. They don't like these, So sweetheart can be
used to dismiss genuine concern about your relationship. So instead
of engaging with your concerns, a partner might say, you
overthink everything, sweetheart, don't worry that pretty ahead of yours.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh no, that's that's condescending.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
That is what you don't want. You don't want babe
or baby, because if you called that too early in
a relationship, it can make you grow attached to someone
who hasn't actually shown you true intimacy. Oh it feels comforting,
but that sense of warmth can be misleading. See.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
I just find it a bit icky when someone's like baby.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh, you definitely don't want it like that, do you. Well,
you just want like a hey babe.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Baby's fine? Yeah, back, but not baby?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
But hey baby? No, No if I start every party
with hey baby.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I used to have a work colleg that used to
say to me, Hey, sweet cheeks.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh, sweet cheeks is not quite right.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And I used to also be called treacle. Hay treacle.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
What's treacle?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Treacle? So like you put it on your pancakes, kind
of like maple syrup.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I think that is so random.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, we call you that. It was actually an announcer
on a breakfast show that I used to work on
years ago, and she used to think I was so sweet.
She used to call me treakly bits. I used to
get like different parts of that, so it was treacle,
triackly bits.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Princess, Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm slacking in
the nickname department for you. An angel seemingly sweet, but
can be used as an emotional distraction from the real
issue at hand. For example, angel don't be mad, I
would really that would make me mad. I would get
if anyone called me that. They have said not all
pet names are manipulative, but in emotional healthy relationships, they
(19:18):
often reflect genuine affection and tenderness, and they can help
de escalate tension. So I thought I'd try a few
out on you. Here are some of the worst ones
voted by people. Snook EM's oh yuck, Yeah, that's terrible,
isn't it.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Pooky Ah. I used to have a friend who called
his girlfriend pooks.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Yeah, that's terrible, awful, terrible. Boogaboo.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
No, that sounds like something you'd pick from your nose.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Toots toots, No, it's toots, not yuck, not for me.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Boo bear see, I don't mind that.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
You don't mind that.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
I would be what is known in my community of
gay men as a bear or a cub.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
So so we're just adding boo in front of it. Okay,
what about this one? Popsie?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
No, that's way too cute C.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Cute C poopsie, I get it. Stud muffin love machine
and Hunker Hunker burn and love seemed as cheesy or
try hard. And then these are the worst ones that
was voted by people. I've never even heard most of
these before. Shmoop schmoop Yeah what s h m o
o p schmoop.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Something sounds like something you'd clean off your backside.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Snugger luffagus n yep.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Jujub see Jujub is a great drag queen from RuPaul's Dragway.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Does it stand for something? No?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
I think it's actually it's just their drag queen name,
real name airline like airline. You heard that correctly? Sorry, yeah,
the their real name is airline.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Their first name is airline.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Correct, don't get into it.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
What's their last name?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I wouldn't know that. I'm sure I could google it,
but I no first name, airline, drag queen name.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Jujub doesn't make any at all.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
You need to become a fan of roupols.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yes, yes, I know, I've heard it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Cow pie, No way, that's what a cow's poop is called.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
A cow pie, cow pie. I've never heard that before.
Ye last, sup.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Booger again comes from your nose.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
And I don't know if anyone would ever love this
tubble wabba.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That just means you're fat.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, yeah it does.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And I mean the other one that you said, hunk
hunker hunker burnin.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Love, hunker hunker burnon love.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
That's just a mouthful. No one has time to say that.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Well, you're you're listening to Jess and Stud muff Is,
Jess and Shay.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I mean so many group chats, like so many.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I think I'm probably in three with you. So what
are the rest of them?
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Like a group of friends? And then you've got the
friends that don't talk to the other friends, but they
know the other friends. So it's like a you know,
a little segregated like little groups of segregation within big.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So you've got the group chat, which is no Courtney.
Do you remember that from the Kardashians No Courtney that
Kim was trying to attack Corney and she said, we've
all got a group chat with all your friends and
it's just literally called not Courney.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Well we do that, but not intentionally. So it was like,
these people don't know them well enough to be in
the group chat with just them.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Oh okay. So there's imagine being upgraded to the group
chat and you're like, oh my god, I've been added
into the main I've made.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
It, I reckon without including work ones. I'm in about sixteen.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Oh that's a lot. Yeah, now our work group chat.
Can you tell everyone what that name is? Now? Keep
in mind we work at Nova.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Yeah, so the group chat that we have is called
Nova Jinas. Yes, that's right, but there is but there
is Gina's in there.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
There is probably more than there are Nova vaginas.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
No, I would say there's I don't know how to
say this without sounding crude. There's there's more sausage in there, rightage, Yes,
but no, I was looking through some of them the
other day and I was like, if anyone saw what
we wrote to each other without any context or knowing
any part of what the group was about, cancel.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yes, yeah, absolutely, and sometimes.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yes, And I've got them written down. Okay, So I've
got a little selection for you.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
So these are text messages that have been in the
group chat. Oh please, I want.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
I won't give any names. I won't throw anyone under
the bus. You may be in some of these, No, no,
I don't think you are in these ways. Okay, don't
let me nin tequila again? Ever again?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Which is pretty pretty fair enough.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
This one I love. There is a why is there
glitter in my toast?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
I actually want to know the answer. Why was the
glitter in the toast?
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I don't think there were I think it was a
night out. They'd been out to a club in Sydney.
Glitter gets everywhere. It's called the herpes of the craft
world for good reason. You have any glitter anywhere near,
you'll be finding it in your bed everywhere, and apparently
in your toast.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, you're not wrong.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
The chicken is alive and in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
That's hangover style. That's what happens when they wake up.
They open the bathroom, there's well, there's a tiger, but
there's also chickens running around.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
That's from a friend of mine that lives on a farm.
I accidentally stole a shopping trolley. Do I take it
back or is it mine?
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Now that's actually a good question. When can you keep
a shopping trolley obviously didn't have one of those lock mechanisms.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
No, they're so annoying, especially when you're in a car
park and you're trying to take it to your car
and it's like trolleys will not work past this point
and you get to that point and they just lock.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I know. Do you know they still do? Do they
still do those trolley ransoms like we've got a thousand
bucks if you can give us back a trolley?
Speaker 2 (24:29):
I think they do.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Why don't people just steal trolleys for twelve months and
then give.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Them back, because I think if they're like, hold on,
you've just pocketed one hundred and twenty thousand dollars from
us with trolley's, I think you're running a little will.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
A full time job. I steal trolleys.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
You're running a trolley racket. Can someone pick me up?
I'm at awake and I just said congrats. Help. I
think I just joined a cult.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Yeah, that can happen.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
This one is very topical at the moment, I just
told my boss I love you, and I hung up
the phone.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Very topical.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That wasn't from me, it was it. It was not
from me. What's that thing called when your teeth get
tired of existing?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Sometimes I feel that.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
I think it's just called depression. I don't know. It's
like I looked at that and I went what it was?
Just on its own in the middle of the group chat.
No one answered it.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
It's teeth, right, Yeah, what's.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
The thing called when you get tired of your teeth existing?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, like your teeth hurt. I get sometimes I'm like,
I wish I was all guns.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
And this was my personal favorite. Okay, I want to
get this. You know when they do cross stitch and
they put it on the wall home sweet Home. I
want to get this done like that. I brought a cactus.
I named it Susan. I'm not okay?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Is Jess and Shaye? I love on a TikTok video
when the comments section is just popping off.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Isn't it great? Sometimes I go in there just to
see what's going on. Like, I won't even watch the video.
I go all the comments on this are going to
be great, straight to the comments.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And I think the videos that have the most views
are the where the comments far exceed the actual video
so much better. This guy threw it out there, what's
a mistake you've made in your career? Not and I
sent an email to the wrong person, but something that
shook the company, and I was like, this is gonna
be good. And there was some absolute pearlas on there. Yeah, okay,
Sophie said. I printed multiple huge banners for a conference
(26:17):
that said fossil fuels are our only chance instead of
fossil free is our only chance. I work for a
renewable energy company.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
You wouldn't you just want to crawl into a hole. Ah,
I don't know what you do?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Want to become a fossil Yeah, for sure, this is
very good. Ashley said. I wrote a profile for a
teacher candidate that said she enjoyed torturing students with special
education needs. What I meant to type was tutoring. It
went out to hundreds of schools.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
I'd see that would be something that happens to me.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Do you feel like you a typo would be your undoing?
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, I could see that for you. This accounts had
accidentally unmitted my mic during a huge use of test
where I'm the test manager, and I accidentally rolled my
chair desk into my dog. He screamed, I screamed. The
tech lead, who was just answering a question, started laughing.
I said, I'm so sorry, I'm run over.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
That was my biggest fear of being on all of
those calls during lockdown, that I would do something while
my microphone was on.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yes, and I'm not. You're gonna say that, your partner
would bark. Jack said, I worked for a criminal defense attorney.
She missed the first day of a murder trial for
her client because I forgot to add it into her calendar.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Oh does that mean that she loses?
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Like, I don't know, what do you do in that circumstance.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Surely if your lawyer doesn't turn up, they're not going
to go ah whoops. It was just a little clerical error.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
That makes the jury feel more sorry for you, Like Wow,
they don't even show up for you.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
No, I think i'd.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Be a sucker on a jury.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
You would, Yeah, I would. You would.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
My coworker locked a customer in the building overnight.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I've been locked in a building later. Oh yeah, it
was the most terrifying thing.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
I need way more details.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
So I worked at a place that was like, it
was how do I explain it? Lighting? Entertainment lighting, and
everything locked from the outside, Like there was no like,
if you were to leave, you can't get out of
the building because it's locked. And everything is expensive, so
there's locks on the outside. Yeah, And I remember going, oh,
(28:21):
I'll just be like a few seconds. Everything got really
really dark, really really quickly. And then I went to
leave and there was no one around, and I was like,
what's going on? Went to try the door, didn't open.
Went oh no, what do I do? Tried another door,
didn't open, tried a fire escape, wouldn't work. I was like,
what do I I'm stuck, So what do you do?
I had to call the boss and say come and
(28:42):
let me out. Boston answer the phone. I started to
panic because I was like, I'm stuck in here, and
then of course I start catastrophizing going if there's a fire,
I'm stuck.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Oh yeah, actually that is a fire issue.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Well, it was like the building was old, so to
be able to push through the fire escape, it must
have just been stuck like I Probably if I shoulder budd,
I would have got out.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
If you felt a little bit more of a threat,
you could have done it.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah. If I felt like a man, I would have
been able to.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Get I mean, it's like an expensive way to sleep
with a night light, isn't it locking yourself in an.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
I've done it in this building.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
You can get out of this building.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
So I was in the fire escape and I went down.
I didn't know where to go to get out, so
I went to one door and I was like, this
is this the way out is? It's like a like
a rabbit warren.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Like a maze. Yeah, and we got you in our trap,
you rabbit.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
You said it a little.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Funny, you funny, little funny, Okay, Lindall said, I used
a free image that said Mary Chris Merry Christmas, but
it was spelled Christmas with ass in capitals at the end.
So Mary Chris mass asked for our newsletter, and I
said it to hundreds of donors for our Christian non
for profit.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Oh so, not only did you do a spelling mistake,
but you have sent something.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
From all the target audience that's not the one you
want for me thought my mic was off before a
team meeting, and I said, not in the mood for
these clowns today. And then the very last one, Oh,
this is a doozy okay hit me synchronized my Men's
duration app calendar with the company's calendar and everyone's received
(30:14):
the notification about my ovulation.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Did you die? I mean I could never do that,
because I would never very true.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
It's very true, but I mean it's one way to
cycle on out of there. This is Jess and Shay, So.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
I don't know whether your FYP is the same as mine.
When I'm on TikTok, I gets cooked things fed to me.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Do you ever get something served on your algorithm and
you go, what did I possibly search to get this?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Or the opposite of that, I search that. Now I
can't get rid of it everywhere.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
That can happen. My dad's got on Instagram. He doesn't
really know how to use it, Like I watched him
open the Instagram app in front of me yesterday and
it said seventy frand requests one hundred comments, like five
thousand likes. He's never tap the notification thing.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
It's like Ollie that we work with.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
He never taps it.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
No, his notifications for his text messages on his phone.
He's like two hundred and something.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
That's an illness. But my dad went on some sort
of reel and then he scrolled to the next one.
It was cricket. Ah. They scrolled to the next and
it was cricket and he oh, he geez, they really
know I like cricket. I was like, it's an algorithm.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Yeah, let's see exactly how the algorithm works. It's feeding
your you know, serah tone and making you happy. No,
this guy JJ Cowen, he he does this thing. And
I've got a little bit of audio for you. Let's
have a listen.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
My trouble eye for cottage to Yonder public House?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
What for my word it burns may not make it?
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Who do you think you are? I left mother an
metal turret for the drink?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Does call yet?
Speaker 1 (31:50):
My constitution is.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
So do you know what he was asking for?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Is it a ride to the pub or something?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
So the local house, which is the pub in my
metal chariot the car. I don't give me a lift
in your car because my constitution is weak. He needs
a little bit of Dutch courage, so needs to go
and have a drink to.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Keep his The best thought is of him putting that
into Google and saying, translate this into old Victorian language.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
It's just so good. So what I thought i'd do,
I've done something myself.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Translate what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Would you like some like Oldish music?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah, it might just lift it up a little bit. Okay,
so the first one hang on.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Anything we say from now one is going to sound
way better with this music.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Of course, posh Victorian child is here. Father says we
must cut back on luxuries. So the butler's been netgirl,
and now we share a corchette between meals.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Okay, cost of living's goddess. Dad said, I ain't working
no more. We've got to get rid of the nanny
and a corchette between meals. I don't know what a
courgette is. Is that a piece of lettuce.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Kind of like a small small meal.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
So you almost I'm going to I'm in charge of
the Dean I've dan.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
My translation is inflation is so cooked that I'm splitting
a twelve dollars zucchini with my flat mate. Like its caveat?
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Can I to say, where's bloody curdistone with his ten
dollar meals? Now the cost of living's here? You can't
even mind mints for ten bucks.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Anyway, correct? I think those ten dollar meals could be
looked at in a little Do.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
You think the a triple C should get onto it?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Well, I mean you can't even buy a block of
cheese for that now. Yeah, this one's about housing words.
Our third parlor has been converted into a rentable suite.
Imagine strangers transversing your billiard's room on chaperone.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Okay, that to me, says cost of Living again has
heard us the little granny flat we have out the
back where we have the pool table that is now
being rented out to someone under the table, but for
an exuberant price.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
We're renting out the laundry on Airbnb one hundred dollars
a night, and it includes a view of the hot
water Zoom fatigue. Like going back to twenty twenty, another
engagement the magic mirror, where I am unexpected to smile
unexpected within to smile and not most enthusiastically for forty
five minutes.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
My spirit will that is so reflective of any team's call,
any zoom call ever. I like it.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, back to back zoom calls have got me turned
into a human loading screen. I requested a simple salad
for luncheon and I was informed that the let us
alone would require a down payment.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I mean that just shouts to me. You've gone to
the most expensive restaurant in the city, and the appetizer
or the side salad is like forty bucks.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
I'll let us now cost more than my childhood hopes
and dreams combined. Ice bag. Right ahead ahead, this one,
you'll I'm not even going to give you what this
is about. The invisible threads which connect us to faraway
lands and entertainment have gossiped and vanished. I am adrift
in a sea of silence.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Okay, Instagram is down, so where you normally might chat
to people on dms and upload pictures and see your
friends overseas, you now can't see anything.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
My Internet's down, and I don't know how to exist
without Netflix.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Wile doing scrolling, I went too specific on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
My mind is dreadfully fatigued. I attempted to write a
single email promptly and needed a lay down and a
cool cloth.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Can I just say trying to explain to a Victorian
child what an email is. Yes, that would make them
lie down in a cool cloth, that's for sure, is Jess,
And say, this is good to know if you're going
in for surgery anytime soon. I know you mentioned you
have a bad back. You're not due for a back
replacement or anything.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I know, and I don't think I would ever because
I'm so scared of needles and like that surgery.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I'm not surprised your backsaw, you've been carrying this show
on your back for three weeks now.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I wouldn't say that. I think we've done equal I
think you and I are pretty good.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Do you think we're actually a good team? Hey? High
five across the desk. Oh, I've gotta work life fives
go back? Did you actually? Hey? At least you can
claim that work is calm.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Now we have the whole thing recorded on all of
these cameras.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Yeah, all eight of them. Now, if you do go
in for an operation, good news is playing music during
an operation reduces the need for anesthesia. Am saying that right,
anesthesia and I sound like anasthesia. Anastesia.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
That's one of the hardest words in the English languages.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
And it's spelled so ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
The anesthetic anesthesia.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Aesthesia is like a greedy little thing when it comes
to vowels. A A E I A.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I can't even I wouldn't be able to spell it.
Don't make me you want to try? No, go on
anesthetical anesthesia.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Anesthesia A E no A N yep A go again
A n A eye e.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Sup on an extra A N now n A E
A n A E s t h yep e T
no T. See that's so hard.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
It's a n A E s t h E s
i A for anyone that made it through no expects
of claim that listening to records can reduce the pain
in ease concerns and anxiety about the surgical procedure itself.
Music can help to calm down, to reduce worries, and
even reduce pain.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
Now, if someone said to me, you're going in for surgery,
your back's stuffed and you need to have surgery. We're
just gonna put a little bit of Sabrina Carpentern.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Can you imagine taste Well? I actually had to think
about this. Here are three songs you don't want to hear.
You don't want them replacing the anesthesia with This is
the first one. It's the Beg staying alive, of course.
And then imagine you're in surgery and someone puts this
track on R E M.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Everybody hurts No, that song just makes me feel sad.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Well, i'd be sad if someone played it in surgery,
thinking it would make me fraid. Okay, And then what
about this one? This is a final one. You don't
ever want to hear a doctor say, you know, code
Black play the song and it's just queen. Another one
bites the dust.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
I knew it was coming. I just have this image
of this guy, the guy, the surgeon, taking off his
scrubs and just you know, alley ooping them into the corner,
into the bin.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Another one and he goes to be fair. The song
did make me experience less pain in having to tell
the family you're listening to Jess and Shay. I don't
know ever.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
So there's a phrase that I like to utter to
myself when I see something that probably shouldn't exist?
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Is that you are enough?
Speaker 2 (38:39):
You are kanough, No, it's that's a bit how you gon.
It's a bit how you gon.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I don't really get when people say that. Does that
mean it's a bit like iffy?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Well, it's like, yeah, you shouldn't be doing it, that
shouldn't exist.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh okay, so you know that's a bit.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Hey. You some example that I've written down of things
that i've actually see. Yeah, a grown man walking barefoot
into Bunnings with a snake around his neck. He didn't
get far because they didn't let him in. But that's
a bit how you gn?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
That is a bit a gun? What's called snake? Was it?
Speaker 2 (39:13):
It's like one of those yellow ones, kind of like Britney.
Really he was, ah yah, I think they call them
an albino python, like they've got no color.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Do you know what they said when he walked into Bunnings.
Here's a spade for you? Was it slave for you?
Speaker 2 (39:29):
I think so?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Yeah, I was going toxic. But I think that's the
one on the plane, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
That is the one on the plane, right?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah? A Cole's worker using the self service checkout to
buy themselves a banana. It's a banana. Just take it.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Oh you think that they like, they get in trouble
if they nicked a banana. It's a bit how you
But they give bananas, free bananas to kids.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
They do, so just give them to you, like, surely
they don't cost that much.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
My kid always takes a banana and an apple, and
I feel the weight of the world. The guilt hits me.
I don't think he meant to take two free pieces
of fruit. Little thing.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
As a kid. I remember always going to the deli
and asking for a Frankfurt as.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
A kid, and they give you one. Was it hot?
Speaker 2 (40:08):
No? No cold? I used to love.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
They must have thought you were poor and homeless child.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
A guy brushing his teeth on the freeway with a
bottle of Mount Franklin.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
It's a bit how you go.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
That's really how you got.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
A pigeon dragging a sausage roll bigger than itself through
the food court.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
I have a name.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Wow, I never thought of anyone that is an Australian
listening to this podcast and thinking that we're not putting
on an accent when we're saying has a gown.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
I constantly get from my personal TikTok, people going, I
love your accent. I don't have one.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
That's very American of you to say Americans think they
don't of accents.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
They do here a mile away. Do I have an accent?
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Well, like we all have an accent to someone. Yeah,
but that's how accents work. I don't think if there
was one country or one accent, there wasn't an accent.
It was just a voice, and then everyone else has
an accent. What would it be. It's probably going to
be British, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah, But that's like the biggest accent of all. I know,
what do you They've got so much about that.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Like Transatlantic, like Australian American kind of British, like Nicole
kidman speaks without an accent? Really?
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah? What was the one that they used to have
in Australia as well? All of the newsreaders used to
have it here and it used to be like the
man is coming up, yes, yes, and.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
The man's out on the street and the anticipation was wild.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Fun fact, they used to actually teach people in Hollywood
how to speak with no accent at all, so that
Transatlantic thing used to come in they really yeah, because
they didn't want anyone from other countries to have to
identify with it. So there was an American doing an
American accent, but they weren't actually doing American or English
or anything. Really, they were just doing an accent, which
(42:07):
became the transatlant here.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
That is absolutely astounding, And I.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Mean, I think I've just learnt the idea of if
you say anything with confidence, because I don't know, maybe
I was just making that up.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
That did sound believable, very believable. Believe. I think the
accents come off for me unfortunately.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
But if you watch any of those old style movies,
like you know, fred Astaire Ginger, Rogers, like all of those,
they all.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Spoke, all of the silent movies, You're right. We found
the one place where there's no accent.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
So I was not telling a lie.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
You're listening to Jess and Shaye. I don't ever. We
talked about this a little while ago. But how much
time you spend on social media day? So much time
is a lot of it on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
Most of mine's on TikTok oh, TikTok. I lose so
much of my life just doom scrolling on TikTok, and
I don't know why. It's because I'm I've heard that
whole thing of you scroll because you're looking for that
serotonin here.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
You're looking for the new thing, dopamine hit.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I'm like that. I could go to bed, like I
have to go to bed early ish, I can be
laying in bed and until I find something that actually
tickles my fancy, I will keep scrolling.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Do you know what we need? You know, when you
go on a roller coaster that's obviously like a big
serotonin dopamin hit, dopamine hit, and you stand in line
for it for say twenty minutes, and you're like excited,
and you're getting closer and closer, and you think they're
gonna let you in, and then you gotta check your
high enough and then they strap you in and then
you go on. It's like three minutes of amazing. Then
you get off and then you have the high. Maybe
we need that for social media. So the apploads for
(43:29):
twenty minutes and you're getting closer and closer and you
know it, and then you get three minutes of amazing
videos and then it's all over and you just get
to remember it and then maybe they take a picture
of you when you're watching the best video, and then
that pops up on your screen.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
At the end, you're just screaming. Ah, sounds a bit
like my sex life.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Okay, Well, if you're spending a lot of time on Instagram,
you might be like Nisha, a woman from India. Indian
police recently reported this interesting case. She has filed a
complaint against her husband, claiming that he was asking her
to spa and less time on social media. It's caused
her to lose followers. He wanted her to do more
chores and get off Insta. She did that, did the housework,
(44:08):
and now she's suffering the consequences on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
So she's doing the housework instead of doing her social
media so therefore losing followers because she's lost the moment.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Yeah, she said, My followers declined. As I was kept
busy washing utensils and cleaning the house by my husband,
I didn't get time to make reel.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
She missed an opportunity there. She should have made reels
about cleaning the house and how to clean the house.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Oh, that's so true.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
So she's doing two things.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
There is a great account. I think this girl might
have ADHD and she puts off doing stuff. So for example,
cleaning the kitchen, paying the red Joe, that sort of thing,
and her whole account is how many minutes does it
actually take? So she goes cleaning the bathroom. I've put
it off for three weeks. Now I'm gonna film a
video of how long it actually takes. And then she
puts on the screen three minutes and people in the
comments are going, that's amazing. I'm now gonna go and
(44:51):
clean the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I reckon. Everything that I do in my house is
from a TikTok or an Instagram reel of how to
do it. How to clean your glass in the shower.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
You've just hacked your whole life. And tell me, are
you showering with windecks and using the scrubby as you
do it all?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
No, So the way to clean your the way to
clean your glass on your shower screen without having to.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Say glass just checking not us.
Speaker 2 (45:13):
It's a glass with and l glass on your shower
screen is to get you know, the little things you
put in.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
The dishwasher, Oh yeah, like a tablet.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Yeah, use that insider scrubber. So get the scrubber. The
what's it called the sponge? The cut a little square
in it, the size of it and that used that really?
Speaker 1 (45:32):
And does it work?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Cut straight through everything? It will literally cut.
Speaker 1 (45:35):
Down the grime, save the time, correct itself.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
It's a very expensive way to do it, but isn't it?
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Isn't it? And weird to see you washing all of
your dishes in the shower, And it's your life. It's
your life now. My wife does amazing work around the house,
amazing work in our relationship. She's an amazing mother. I
cannot falter in any way, shape or form.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
But she's lost Instagram followers.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Yeah, she's really slackened. She's only on three thirty. It's
embarrass No. There's one thing she does do when she
is cleaning up, and that is anytime I bring something
out to say I needed milk, and I took the
milk out, I'd then turn around to grab a cup
and I'd look back in the milks back in the fridge.
Speaker 2 (46:14):
She's micromanaging.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
She's like a silent little demon that follows me. Everything
I do. She undoes because she likes it clean. Divorce.
I won't go that far because there's many other great
attributes But last night I secretly recorded her and I
told her about this article, and I said, what would
happen if you know, we had to go to a
court of law because you keep cleaning up after me. Now,
when I put it like that, you keep cleaning up
(46:35):
after me, it doesn't sound as good. It makes me
sound like a terrible partner.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
It makes you sound like the slob.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
And you know what time will tell if that is true. However,
I enjoy this secretly recorded audio. Do you think if
I sued you in a court of law you would
stop doing that? No, because it's not just you. I've
done this my whole life. If a judge said you
must legally stop doing that, I don't think it would
because it's all great. So I have to go to prison,
(47:01):
like I even do it to myself, That's what I mean,
Like I'm not doing it. Can you imagine being imprison
you for that's where my shank went. Remember I was like,
I promise to stop my provature cleaning prematures. That was
(47:27):
a very funny moment in our house. Yeah, I promised
to stop my premature cleaning.
Speaker 2 (47:34):
That I was going your brain and mind works so
so similar because I went straight to premature cleanulation.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Wait to tell me I'm not unique, is Jess?
Speaker 2 (47:47):
And for another week?
Speaker 1 (47:49):
I know it's hard to believe the fun is all done.
And you know what, I don't have any other fun
in any of the other hours, of any of the
other days. It's only here when I'm with you.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
It's only people that have messaged me and said I've
left a review, but it's not coming up yet.
Speaker 1 (48:04):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
I think they take like it's like a cumulative thing.
So when cumuli, that's a very hard try spell it
accumulative thing. So when you leave a review and you
give us, like, you know, five stars, because if you
don't leave five stars, I'll come to your house. But
five stars, and then you leave a little review like
I love this show, They're so funny, love Just and Shay.
(48:25):
Then it takes a bit of time, so there's a
few that will join, and then I think they put
up like if there's more than five then oh.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Okay, So you're asking for a review. Do you know
what would be interesting is if people do it, and
I do encourage you five stars and a review come
to your house. You pick the stars, you get the stars.
Three and above though, would be nice. No, four, four
and above.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
Five is even better.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Five is wonderful. No. If the reviews then get posted
and all the people that told you they left a review,
they were like, yeah, this show is pretty average.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
They gave it five stars anyway, because you told me
you were going to come to my house.
Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yes, yeah, it's a quick way to get you over
for a party, that's for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Yeah. Also follow us on TikTok Jess and Shae find
us there and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Sounds fantastic to me. I'll be here, same place, same time.
I maybe you're going to think about it. Yeah, well
let me know. I mean here one half of it.
If you're not here, I'm in trouble. Correct, It's just
just next week. Just es see you then? Is Jess
and Shade or great shows like this? Download the Nova
(49:25):
player
Speaker 2 (49:25):
Fine the app Store or Google Play the player
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