#12 | A Creative Sabbatical

Who would win in a competition show, babies and HOAs, Olympic parents, and more

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
There's a new term buzzing on the Internet, Dink.
Dual income? No, kid, you probably have an
opinion on these people or an opinion on people who have an
opinion on these people. America's birth rate has hit its
lowest point in more than a century.
Some are blaming it on infertility.
Others say the state of the world is causing couples to
think twice about having children.

(00:21):
Childless marriages could be a good thing if they were a result
of God's sovereign providential work.
Oh my God, can't even hear you. They like avocado toast and
brunches out and going to plays and having sweet vacations.
Yeah, you're probably super selfish.
Kids are better than brunch. Wrong.
And then there's another group of young couples that once the

(00:43):
lifestyle of childless households and the lifestyle it
brings with it. Thanks, all right.
Welcome to The DINK Side, the podcast about life, laughs and
living child free. We are a double income, no kids
couple navigating the UPS, the downs and hilarious in betweens
of choosing a different path in a world that will not stop
asking. So when are you yes you having

(01:05):
kids? The answer is never.
This is a game show that you will never win in terms of kids.
Which by the way, I have to say,we just finished watching Beast
Games season 2. And I think it's interesting

(01:25):
that throughout that entire show, there's people winning
hundreds of thousands of dollarsand at the end of $5 million
prize. And I get it, that's a lot of
money for somebody to take home to their family.
But I do feel like people get preferential treatment if
they're playing for their kids. Oh my God it pisses me off so
much. Yes, people that have kids

(01:46):
deserve to win money, but they do not deserve it more than
someone without kids. Right.
And like I get kids are expensive and you, you know, I
understand. I understand.
I'm not negating the fact that you want the money for your
kids. That's just as valid as me
wanting the money to give to animals or to go on vacations or

(02:07):
whatever it may be. No, but there were people that
got voted out because they didn't quote have a family.
I know and I feel like that should be they should do a
season that is only dedicated topeople without families.
Sounds so sad and lame but. But it is the same as voting

(02:27):
someone out because they're old.Like, right, Voting someone off
of a reality TV game show because they don't have three
kids at home that need money is the same as voting someone off
because they're 72. I kind of agree with that.
It's like ageist, I'm not going to say rate like it's not the
same as racism, but it's. Definitely not.

(02:49):
No, but because I was like, whatare what are the different
levels of discrimination? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Racism and sexism are higher up on like the oh shit list.
Ageism still bad And what do youcall no kiddism?
Childism or something, I don't know.

(03:11):
That's a good question that we need to call it family like
just. So just because I don't have a
family, I I deserve to get kicked off?
That's crazy. And like on paper, I understand
how saying that makes me feel orcome across as cold.
And I'm not even intending that.Like I don't, I'm again, I'm not

(03:31):
ripping money from your cold dead hands.
You know, we're just all in competition together.
Right. And if you're triggered right
now listening to this, I'm not suggesting that you get kicked
off for having kids. I'm just suggesting that I don't
get kicked off for not having kids.
Do you understand the difference?
There, that's kind of why whenever we watch that the

(03:55):
pressure luck reboot, the one that that the Elizabeth Banks
does. One thing I like about that show
is a lot of times the age of thecontestants they choose are
people who are like about to hitretirement.
And so they're like, they're trying to win money for
retirement. They're trying to win that car
they've always wanted their entire life.
It's more of like a treat yourself vibe and less I need

(04:20):
this money to survive. Now that being said, it was a
very cool moment at the very endof this beast game season.
I liked how they showed iPhone video of people telling their
families how much they won. That was really cool and like
the guy that won. I won't say who it was, mostly
because I don't remember his name.
OK, spoiler alert that it was a guy.

(04:40):
Sorry, he went home and told hiswife and the first thing out of
his mouth after he told her was we can retire and spend more
time with the kids. That's cool.
That is cool. Like that's an awesome what?
What is that like? The person that won does have
kids and I'm happy for him and his family.
I'm just saying that it was weird when they all were like,

(05:00):
well I'm going to vote you out because you don't have kids.
Like fuck you. And we've talked about it to
death in our house, but it has become adamantly clear to me
that I will not play game shows the way that other people play
game shows or competition shows.It's insane.
It's crazy the way that people all of a sudden prioritize

(05:22):
strangers and their quote UN quote perceived image of
themselves amongst strangers over the priorities of their
family and their like their perceived image of themselves
from their wives. They're like I turned down
$1,000,000 to save my team of strangers who will eventually be

(05:46):
eliminated anyways if I win. What?
Right. It's so weird because people
equate it to like Lord of the Flies or something.
They forget that it's not real life and you've been transported
to this island and like, if you don't share your food with this
person, they're going to die. No, they get kicked off the
show. They just go home, they go back
to their life and their job and their family and you know, it's,

(06:09):
it's just. Sure, if people's lives were on
the line, yeah. Right.
Much different story, much different story.
But when I got to say when somebody is holding a button in
front of my face and they're like all you have to do is press
it, You could have this check for $1,000,000.
I'm pressing that button. And if you don't press that
button, divorce. I can't come home.

(06:30):
I know my, but my Here's my other fear, though in the
opposite end of that coin is I think I'd hit it way too early.
Like they would offer me 10 grand and I'd be like, OK,
there's still 100 people left. I should probably take it.
You know what I mean? I get it, but I think we would
have a strong chat about numbersand then.

(06:51):
We would need to. And then you wouldn't hit it too
early because you'd be like, I promised her that I would wait
for half a male. Yeah, that's, that's true 'cause
I would come, I would be operating out of fear 100%.
God forbid I get on a game show like come on.
Do you think that, OK, let's just say every, let's put every

(07:13):
competition show in the same bucket, OK.
Do you think that what are your chances like on 100% split that
you win versus I win? Like do you think it's 5050?
Do you think it's 7030? Do you think you know what I
mean? If we're both on the same show.

(07:34):
Yeah, let's just, but let's justsay competition shows in
general, what are the chances I win versus the chances you win?
I feel like you should answer this first.
No, no, I asked you specificallyso you would answer first.
I it really depends on the show because if it has anything to do

(07:57):
with trivia, I feel like like ifit's Big Brother or Beast games
or something where there was like some sort of challenges in
social aspect, I feel like the split is 7030.
Me. But if it's trivia based,

(08:18):
reverse it. I disagree.
I think if it's I agree with thefirst number, by the way, I
think if it's competition and social based, it's 7030.
I think I think I have a chance at winning, but it greatly
depends on the people I'm cast with, you know?
But on the on the trivia stuff, I disagree in the negative

(08:40):
because I am not going to trivia.
I'm no better at trivia than youare.
I think I would win. I think my sweet spot is like
the Price is right and you know,like random chance games, like
like a pressure luck, something like that.
Like a big studio game show. When it comes to competitions

(09:01):
and everything, you definitely have to Rep our little family
because you're going to win ninetimes out of 10 compared to me.
The way I feel like if you got cast you'd be like actually can
I send my wife I got COVID like.I would, I would be so scared,
like like if I got cast on one of these shows, I would still do
it. Like I still want to do it, but

(09:21):
I would be so nervous about going on and like shitting the
bed. And I legitimately wonder if
like, there would be distance between you and I for a period
of time as a result of it. You know what?
I. Mean I'm not that like crazy.
No, but I mean, I just, I don't know, I have a feeling my lot in

(09:44):
life, specifically as it relatesto game shows, is to appear to
get like a big cash prize and then to lose it.
I don't know why. We'll see.
OK, Now there's like a really low helicopter and I have a
window open. So now I'm like, is there a
fugitive running near our house and the dogs are barking?
There's a chance of that, but there's other there's other
houses they'll rob first, don't worry about it.

(10:04):
No like to hide from the helicopter, not really to rob.
Oh, it's probably a high speed chase situation, you know.
OK. We can just get out and wave at
the helicopter and we'll find. Out.
I guess we'll roll the dice. OK, I had a not original thought
today but I thought I should bring it up because it's fresh

(10:26):
on the mind from work today. We always talk about like it's
not fair that people who have kids get to go on paternity
leave and people that don't havekids can't and all of these
things. I feel like there's a pretty,
there's a problem where I work where people go on multiple
paternity leaves. Like I've only been here 3 or 4

(10:47):
years. There's this one guy who's gone
on it three times. Does he have three kids?
He does and, or at least he sayshe does.
You know, he appears on Zoom calls and he's like, oh, the
kids in the background. I've never seen all three kids.
OK. But there's this other guy who
he, he works at a pretty high upposition and there's like a lot

(11:10):
of money on the line about a particular thing.
I don't want to get too specific.
And we were told months ago thatthis person was going to have a
child, his wife was going to have a baby.
And the baby decided to come a month early and everybody's
healthy. So we know that it's all good,
but he he just laughed. He didn't really like leave the

(11:32):
work to somebody else. And so A7 figure deal got
dropped as a result of it because there wasn't like a
there was not really like a welllaid out.
He didn't. Do a handover.

(11:53):
He didn't do a handover to someone.
Not a proper one. No, not a proper one.
So can't you get fired for not doing a proper handover?
You don't. Just get to but yeah.
You don't just get to close yourlaptop and go.
Good luck everyone. On paper, I think that that's
true, but I think it's one of those like areas where, I mean,
legally speaking, you probably want to be super careful when

(12:15):
you're laying somebody off who just went on paternity leave,
you know what I mean? And they could argue like, oh,
it came a month early. I wasn't prepared, but it it is,
it's a pretty big deal and there's a lot of loose ends that
I'm uncovering and other people are uncovering the last couple
weeks where it's like, hey, whatever happened to this thing?
And they're like, I, we don't know.

(12:36):
He was the person leading it. Don't you feel like what I don't
get about it is like paternity leave is one thing, but like
when he gets back from paternityleave, does he want to deal with
the mess he left for himself? Right, right.
Like that doesn't make any sense.
Don't you want to tie up your bow for yourself?

(12:58):
Because guess who's opening the package in a couple months?
You. I know, right?
Do you want to have a steaming? Pile of shit for yourself.
I know it makes no sense. Unless unless he's planning on
going on paid paternity leave and then quitting.

(13:18):
Which is a possibility. I mean, people do that.
That's a legitimate path that people.
Take Should we have a fake kid and then scrub and then scrub
this episode from the I. Don't think we need to.
We can, you know, we'll just sayit was AI that said it or
something. We'll be fine.
We can keep the episode up. I know, but I'm just saying, do

(13:40):
we have a fake kid and you treatpaternity leave as a creative
sabbatical? If my company gave me paternity
leave I would, but my company does not.
Oh. You know what I mean?
So anyway. But that's a good plot for a
movie. Fake baby.
My fake baby. My or just yeah, paternity

(14:03):
sabbatical. That's a lot of syllables.
My fake baby paternity sabbatical.
The true origin. Story idea we have on the
podcast needs to be a short film.
Listen, I mean, we have a prettygood track record, which by the
way, we did just get through production on the short film you
wrote, which was very, very fun.We got to do it with a bunch of

(14:25):
our friends and was super awesome, super rewarding.
And we haven't even put the thing together yet, you know?
Yeah, people tell me it's it looks good.
I didn't see it because I was init.
Yeah, which is weird. Which is weird.
It's like how people used to take old timey photos.
You couldn't just snap it with your phone and look at it right

(14:45):
away. Yeah.
But it was a, it was a good time.
I think the first. And you know what?
It is relevant for this podcast about children because it is my
baby getting getting. No, actually that's wrong.
It's much cheaper than a baby. You're right, the budget was
significantly smaller. The budget was as much as you

(15:07):
would spend on the first two months of a baby's life.
Probably, maybe even less. I don't, I don't know.
It's pretty expensive the first couple months.
Actually the first month of a baby's life, probably because
you have to get like a stroller and stuff.
Well, and I didn't realize untilour friends just had a baby that
you have to take it to the doctor like every other day for

(15:30):
like a month. Yeah, so much, Doctor.
Stuff and and get all kinds of injections and vaccines.
The budget for the short film was actually the amount of the
first week of a baby's life. Possibly the.
First day, How much is wait? How much is a birth again?
It's like 20 grand. That's like the floor I think.
Oh my God, I know. Wait, the budget was a fraction

(15:52):
of a baby birth? You know what?
I. Couldn't be.
I couldn't be happier. I know, but it was a it was a
blast. Yeah.
And Speaking of movies, I had tosay this real quick.
We saw that send to help over the weekend with Rachel McAdams
and Dylan O'Brien, the one wherehe's the boss, she's the the

(16:16):
worker who's abused and they find themselves on a deserted
island after a plane crash and role reversal.
And anyway, it was it was wacky.But I do think like, we talk
often about going to the movies and how distracting and how
obnoxious people are. And there was a point.
No, no, no. There was a part in the movie

(16:39):
where things go really bananas and there's some kind of
grotesque like horror film type stuff that happens.
Eye gouging, I think we don't have to say who's gouging who,
but there's eye gouging shown onscreen, like aggressively shown
it. Really is incredibly aggressive
and it went from like a kind of silent theater to just you going

(17:03):
by yourself. Nobody else. 00 screaming,
grabbing me screaming, Hey, whatis this fucking movie?
And I look to the guy to my leftand he's like, what the fuck is
going on over there? And it was so funny because
afterwards I tell you this and you go, we weren't we all

(17:25):
screaming. I'm like, I was sitting next to
you and I was not screaming. I thought everyone was yelling.
I don't know everyone, let's do it.
It was so funny. Oh no, it.
Was self a good movie though? Good movie.
Yeah, it was. I guess it was.

(17:47):
It was a lot to deal with. I liked it.
I think I liked it. It was just like, gross.
You had something you wanted to bring up about If we had kids,
would we blank? Oh, 'cause I was looking at
these like Olympians and stuff like Alyssa Leo and she's so

(18:07):
cool and she's only 20. And I'm like, how did she become
so wise and enlightened this early in her life?
Like, is it her parents? And I was also looking at all
these young gymnasts and I'm like, this must have started as
like your parents just enrollingyou in a figure skating class
like, and then you became Olympic level.

(18:28):
Like, is every single Olympian the essentially the product of a
like stage mom but for sports? Kind of seems like it.
Or like, are these people like you are my retirement plan,
you're going to be an Olympian and you're going to get on a
Wheaties box? Or is it like the kid just is

(18:53):
born a savant and she just really wanted to figure skate?
I if I had to guess, I think themost common paths are one of
two. Number one would be you were an
Olympian. You want your child to carry
that, that legacy on, right? The other, and I think the
probably the most common path isat a certain age, Let's say

(19:13):
you're 10, you show a mild interest in basketball.
Then your parent is like, hang on a second.
Yeah, you should definitely do basketball.
You're good at basketball. They become more obsessed with
it than you do. And then you either go to the
Olympics together, like, Oh my God, we've been doing this all
of our lives. And my dad or my mom has been
there for every step of the way,and this is so cool.

(19:35):
Or you're like, yeah, I this wasthe only thing I was allowed to
do when I was a kid, you know? I just got information about
Alyssa Liu's parents situation. She has a single father who and
she was born via an egg donor, an anonymous egg donor surrogate

(19:57):
like surrogacy. So her dad is a single father by
choice? Really.
Yes. And she has four younger
siblings. So she has they He has five
children total, and he is a Chinese American attorney and

(20:18):
political refugee. Wow.
And he was heavily involved in her skating career, often acting
as her manager, especially in the early years.
Wow, that's crazy. So I wonder what her other
siblings do. Like, are they losers or are
they also cool? You know what I mean?
Like, did he just because then you got to wonder like, OK, he

(20:40):
has five kids and he's a single dad.
Like he was like 1 of who's going to make it?
Is it a numbers game for him? Are they all involved in sports?
Or is he like, I'm betting on you?
Oh, that one failed, I'm bettingon the next one.
You know what? I.
Mean, which is kind of the plot of that wrestling movie, The
Iron Claw, that we saw it. Was like.
There's like the favorite and then that's like, OK, well

(21:00):
you're Next up kid because he didn't work.
And then it just kind of goes from.
There sounds like she's the oldest so there's four younger
ones than her so like no pressure but I.
Mean it's a good question. He is a political refugee.
So it's like, you know, get to Gettin.
I I don't know if we had a kid, which we never will, what would

(21:23):
our ghost child? What would what thing would we
put them in and bet on them? Oh God, I mean, neither of us
are big into sports, so I don't I.
Feel like it has to be somethingwe know how to do well.
Right. So that's what I mean.
I don't, I don't think it can bea sport.
Child. Child actor.

(21:44):
There's also, yeah. But then again, that's like a
you have to really want that to,to do it.
So I want to like assign that, Iguess.
But that seems to be the most natural one.
And if they showed like a remoteinterest, we'd be like, yeah,
hell yeah, you can do this. We'd be like, yeah, we got
yourself tapes on lock. And I would be pretty
heavy-handed with like, wanting our kid to like movies and all

(22:08):
of those sorts of things. Or like music, like learning an.
Instrument or something. That's that's a good one.
That's a good one. Yeah.
Hell yeah. And I would make them play
something not lame, you know? Yeah, and then I'd make them put
it on TikTok just in case. Yeah, you have to have a TikTok
kid. Yeah, you got to start, you

(22:29):
know, bringing some bacon in here.
Again, the reasons that we shouldn't have children, we're
already talking about exploitingit.
Well, what's crazy about the music thing too is like, there's
a bunch of kids who are prodigies, right?
But that's like maybe 1% of children that do it.
The rest of them, for years, until they get good at their

(22:51):
instrument, You have to sit in your house listening to the Hurl
Funky rehearsing in their room with their trumpet or their
clarinet or their sax or whatever.
So by the time you make anythingoff of it, you've earned it as a
parent. Right.
It's kind of your, your dues. I remember thinking, I used to

(23:13):
love being in band when I was a kid.
And I remember thinking at the time, like at one of our little
concerts that were twice a year or whatever, like, wow, we sound
pretty good. Like in fifth grade, years
later, I had ACD from one of those concerts that they
recorded the performance and I listened back to it.
Horrifying, horrifying. Real wake up call.

(23:36):
Real wake up call. It's a good thing your parents
didn't bet on you to be like a professional musician.
Thanks. What?
'Cause God, no, you, you couldn't do it.
You could not do. It you could I'm saying good
thing that you weren't the retire no.
Countless loser. No, I'm saying good thing you

(23:58):
weren't their retirement plan playing.
Mary had a little lamb on the recorder.
It's a good thing your parents didn't bet on you to be a
baseball player. You fucking?
That's what I said. I'm saying a professional
musician 'cause you clank. Away I clank, away.
Yeah, you said you can remember like 2.
Songs. Yeah, because it.

(24:20):
But it's in there somewhere. I just got to dig it out.
Right, so it's a good thing theydidn't bet.
On it I was. I was very musically gifted when
I was a child. So had had somebody really bet
the farm on me, maybe I would be, you know, a famous violinist
or something. I don't know.

(24:41):
I don't know. Given the opportunity to be a
violinist that you had. No, I didn't.
I did. I was not a violent player
growing up. But you could have been.
Listen, we're just we're caught in the semantics now.
I think the point is what you said was horribly offensive and

(25:01):
I do you accept your apology whenever it comes.
No, it's good that my parents didn't bet on me to be.
No, I'll say it for you. I'm glad your parents didn't bet
on you to be Aceo because God damn.
Holy shit that would have been amistake.
Or see what I mean? It's kind of offensive.
No, or anything athletic at all.You, I, I think that you have

(25:26):
wasted athletic potential. That's what I believe.
That's wasted. We're not.
Sound. That's, well, that's in the.
It's in the archives wasted. Wasted potential to be an
athlete. Yeah, I think you could be a
great athlete. You think absolutely you could.

(25:47):
You have this idea in your head now.
I don't think you'd be good at like, you know, softball, for
example, because when I throw you a ball, you can't catch it.
But there's other sports that I feel like you could play really
well. So many sports have hand eye
coordination that I don't feel. That is kind of part of it in
general, yeah, that's. Right.
So I'm saying like you throwing a ball towards me and me batting

(26:09):
it out of the air doesn't reallylend itself to be pro athlete.
But I think it's more of a mentality because you, you are
like defending yourself from theball instead of now maybe you'd
be a good goalie, maybe you'd bea good soccer goalie.
Actually, now that I think, actually wait 'cause you'd be
like. And I'm tall, so I could block a
lot of the goal and I could jumpthere's.

(26:33):
Only a way to find out. Like pretty aggressive.
If people are like all teaming up on me, I'll be like go fuck
yourself. Yeah, you just start kicking
people, you get a red card. I don't know.
There's only one way to find out.
We can try. We'll put you in the goal.
I'll kick some shots. Is it?
Too late. Yes, absolutely.

(26:57):
Yeah, without a doubt you can't do.
That no goalie. Oh, 'cause soccer players have
to be young. Yes.
Oh, so there's a shelf life on being a goalie?
Uh huh. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, very astute observation. How old are they?

(27:17):
I mean, they're, they're, there's probably a lot of them
in their 30s, but they have beenplaying at a level that put them
there for many, many years. So I think in that sense it's
too. Late.
I feel like this is a show. Starts soccer at 34.
Let's workshop the title. But yeah, I think it's I think
it's great. It would be great if they did

(27:38):
like a a season of jury duty, but in a sports team like you
convinced somebody that they made it.
Yeah, you are a sports star, butthey how would they convince me
that I made it if I'm actually really bad, like.
That's the thing. You have to be good enough that
you like convince yourself. Can I can block the goal like I

(27:58):
can block a shot? Yeah, right.
A shot on goal. See, she's already ready.
Bat that soccer ball away. What was the the name of The
Olympian? You said you were talking about
her dad? Alyssa Leo.
Alyssa Leo, he a dad by choice and I wanted to read this data.
I actually just found today. I, I always knew this number was

(28:20):
had to be pretty high, but this I think is staggering.
Research kind of comes out everycouple years and it's usually
from a years back, a couple years back.
And I just saw this one in 2019 and this study again just coming
out, but in 201941 percent, 41.6% of pregnancies were
unplanned. 41.6% what? Almost half are unintended.

(28:50):
That's insane. That's nuts, right?
That's insane. It's getting pregnant is more
preventable than the common cold.
Guys, what are you doing? And I personally feel like we
were, you know, you and I were both raised somewhat religious.

(29:11):
I went to a religious school. And I feel like even then, we
were beat over the head with Here's how to protect yourself
against pregnancy. That's crazy.
It's wild. I think people are just like
down for wild and crazy times. But like, I actually have a ton
of respect for Alyssa, Leah's dad, who decided to become a

(29:31):
parent by himself via that way. Like, I think that's really
cool. Was a surrogate.
Yeah. An anonymous donor is kind of
crazy though. Imagine just like.
That I don't think I would do that.
Yeah. It's a bit like it's throwing
darts. Now I want to know deeply, is

(29:54):
her actual biological mom an athlete?
What? That would be fascinating.
We'll never know. Well, if she did one of those
like 23andMe's or something or something similar to it.
I guess, but can't you? If it's an anonymous donor,
isn't there a way that you just not your name is like scrubbed

(30:15):
from the thing forever or what? Yes.
But if, if even if you're an anonymous donor, if you put your
your DNA up on 23andMe regardless and they put their
DNA up there, it could still match.
Yeah, that really fell off, by the way, 23 in May.
Yeah, people. Yeah.
Because then people were like, the government has my DNA.

(30:37):
I know they got sued to obliviontoo.
What? Oh yeah, yeah.
Why? For a bunch of data leaks I
think. Oh shit, well I guess fuck me
because didn't we do it? Yeah, it's fine, though.
It's what are they going to findout about us?
You know, our blood type. We just found that out.
Oh man, 12.5% Irish help. Oh yeah, we found out our blood

(31:03):
types. Did we even say that on the pod?
Since our parents, Since our parents are good for nothing and
don't know our blood types, we had to order a kit on Amazon.
We had to order a $12.00 kit to figure out our blood type on a
postcard. And I, I don't know what I was
expecting, but I didn't expect it to be such a goddamn mess.
Like there was a lot of blood involved.

(31:24):
There were there was a lot of pieces.
To the kid finger. I know, but I just felt like it
was going to be more seamless and this was like, I don't think
bleeding on paper. I don't think that I it was kind
of like that allergen test that we ordered in the mail.
I don't think I expected my finger to hurt for like 4 days
though. I've lost my fucking finger.

(31:47):
And it's because it's weird, because it pricks and then it
bleeds and then it heals and it hurts but you can no longer see
where it hurts. It hurts.
No, it just hurts. Like it just it's just under
there somewhere. But we got our blood type.
What am IAB A/B positive? Yeah, and I'm O negative.
Yeah, you're the universal 1, soit's like whatever.

(32:07):
No, but I'm I'm a universal donor but not a universal
recipient. Sucks to suck.
So I'm in like, you know, I'm a giver, but I who's given to me,
you know what I'm saying? Who is giving to you?
I don't know. We should figure that.
I don't think you can. Should probably have a supply or
something. Just we have.

(32:27):
OK, sure. I also think it's like pints.
Of blood in the corner of the apartment.
I get how it works, but at the same time I think it's crazy
that it even works, that you can, like, transfer your blood
to another human and it helps them and I How would you have
liked to be the first couple people that, like, tried it?
What the hell? Yeah.
But it's also crazy that on paper, we saw on the different

(32:51):
postcards that your blood made totally different shapes on the
thing than my blood it was. Coagulated differently.
It was super weird. It was so weird.
Yeah, but the test is only like 10 bucks on Amazon.
And also what I don't get, do you automatically have one of
the blood types of your parents?I don't think that it works that

(33:14):
way. How sure are you?
I'm about 10% sure. Look it up and find.
Out automatically have same blood type as parents Parent.
No, you do not automatically have the same blood type as your

(33:35):
parents. While you inherit genes from
both your parents to determine your blood type, combinations
can vary, resulting in a type that differs from one or both
parents. For example, 2 type A parents
could have a type O child. See, that makes no sense to me.
I don't know how that works. It's like, what?
Punnett square? What did you say?

(33:57):
The Punnett squares of jeans andtraits What?
Word are you saying? OK.
No, I'm not. I'm not.
I'm being serious. I don't know what Punnett.
Punnett. Square Punnett.
And what is that something you did in school?

(34:20):
Hold on. OK, she researches again.
Well, we wait. Now I'm like, yes, PUNNETT,
Punnett. Oh, I've never heard of that.
It's a simple grid used to predict possible genetic
outcomes of a cross between two parents.
Really. Wow I'm so smart holy shit.

(34:40):
So I do I Yeah, OK, I remember this.
I didn't know what it was called, though.
It's where you put the little Yeah, I, I remember that.
I'm I'm I'm woke on Punnett squares.
I know. But how impressed are you that I
just pulled that out? You know, the 7030 split.
I said earlier, I take it back, 8020 I I'm going.
To get 8020. 8020 money's on me,OK?

(35:05):
You have the Punnett Square knowledge when that comes up on
the game show. Yeah.
On match game OK I I'll be honest, I saw this BuzzFeed
quiz. It said 16 parents.
Heartbreaking. 16 heartbreakingly honest stories
from regretful parents. Who wish they?
Who wish they never decided to have children?

(35:26):
And I thought like, oh, that's it's got to be a funny list.
It's not a funny list. It's full of a bunch of sad
stories. So I'm going to skip right over
that. One, the title is heartbreaking.
But I thought it was like an ironic thing, like wait, just.
Give us a Give us one. Give us one.
Give us one, Give us one. I have one child, she's cool and

(35:48):
turning 18 this year. I'm counting the days.
I've raised her to be as independent as possible.
I never wanted a child, and her mother knew that, but she lied
about being on contraception. I've been raising her full time
for years with no involvement from her mother.
That's it. Oh, fuck.
OK. And then the other ones, there's
like other ones that go into like, health problems and all

(36:09):
kinds of things that are really sad.
So let's skip right over that. I thought, it's a BuzzFeed quiz.
It has to be funny. It can't be that bad.
Not true. So instead you're feeling a
little abandoned this week, and I thought we could talk about
that. I am Wow, what a much more
heartwarming than the BuzzFeed quiz.
My abandonment issues. Go low and then up a little bit

(36:30):
higher, you know. Segway yeah, sure.
Not much higher. Yeah, I don't know.
I have been, you know, with my therapist now.
For how long? Four years.
Yeah. I think about four years, 3 or 4
years, yeah. Maybe 3 not that long.

(36:52):
Either way, yeah, what do I think we need to determine the
exact amount to to tell the story?
OK, cool. I think it kind of matters
because it's been longer than six, you know it.
Has for several years you have been seeing this there a.
Significant amount of time and we're like friends, I think and
she has expressed interest in seeing me do stand up.

(37:15):
And then she realized that she is neighbors slash friends with
a guy that runs a stand up show in Glendale.
And so she was like, you should do his show soon because I would
love to come support him and youand I live near you know, it was
like it all lined up and I was like, sure, like I've done his

(37:37):
show before, but I can ask to doit again.
I had no idea you knew him. That's so cool.
Small world. Totally.
So back in October, I messaged him to do his show and he
offered me a date in October, November, December, January.
And none of them worked for my schedule because I was either
out of town or booked on other things.

(37:59):
And so it finally lined up in February because he only does it
once a month. And so I, I gave her the heads
up ring the, you know, sounded the alarms here.
And she was like, great. I bought tickets.
I'm going to be there early, I'mgoing to get a good seat.
I'm bringing friends. Like it was a whole thing.

(38:21):
She kept, she told you she was going, lots of talking points,
lots of lots of messaging, lots of confirming that this was
happening. And then she didn't show up.
Oh, what? She did not.
So the show happens, I'm there, you're there, my mom's there,

(38:43):
the show producer's there. Then audience is there, she is
not there. What?
What are we doing? My question is, is it some kind
of test? Right.
You know, I hope not. Is it some kind of test?
Ironically working on my childhood abandonment issues in
therapy currently. So Riddle me this.

(39:10):
I don't know, I get it, it doesn't matter that much,
everyone has busy lives. She had something else come up
earlier in the day, so the timing didn't work out for her
to make it. Yeah.
She did send a text the same day, but that text said I might
still be able to make it, you know what I mean?

(39:34):
So it wasn't like a totally clear, I'm definitely not
coming. Which is also just like.
If you can't make it, just say you can't make it.
It's fine. Because I was like, OK, maybe
she still is coming. And also, like, kind of nervous.
It's not normal to perform in front of your therapist.
And I want her to like me. So I was like, what jokes should
I do? You know, there's been a lot of

(39:55):
lead up to this moment. I hope that I do jokes she
likes, you know, and she likes cleaner jokes.
I think it's a clean show. Let me pick some good clean
jokes or whatever. So anyways, it was a lot of a
lot to do about nothing, you know what I mean?
Yeah, for sure. And I was like, you know, this

(40:20):
is a weird. It feels like being ghosted by a
parent a bit. Yeah, a little bit.
Even though I think we're like, I think we're like the same age.
Yeah, I think roughly, yeah. Same age range at least, but

(40:42):
same generation I would say. We're confused about that.
We're confused in general. And then she's like, oh, I'll
come to another local show that you do.
And I'm like, yeah, OK, Dad. Totally.
OK, I I first of all, I think your feelings on this are
completely valid 100%. The only thing I would say is,

(41:05):
you know, if people let you downrepeatedly, that's determining
something and normal people willlet you down occasionally,
right? You know what?
I. Mean yes, I can't hold her to
unrealistic standards. She is a human.
It doesn't mean it doesn't suck,though.
It does suck and. She can make mistakes too, but I

(41:26):
also hold people to the same standards of like me.
Right. Promising I'm going to something
since October and then not goingthe day of like I do.
Feel like I would have made it work somehow because it's me.
Yeah, I get that. But not everyone is me.

(41:49):
Yeah, that. And that is on therapy.
And that is on therapy and in that sense, success.
And in that sense, she's doing something.
Would have loved to tell you that in person.
But that's hey, hey, yeah. So yeah, an interesting time to
be alive. It was a bit on the nose, I have
to say was a bit on the nose. It was but I but.

(42:10):
I think you handled it well, jokes about it.
You handled it well and did a great show and made a joke about
it on stage. It was super funny, you know?
Yeah, we we turn it all into material, let's say.
Don't. That's dangerous territory too.
That's dangerous territory. But I think, I think you did a
good job and it does suck a little bit.
And I'm going to rough transition out of that.

(42:32):
OK, couple Reddit things before we go found on the dink Reddit
page and the child free Reddit page.
We've been talking about that social app for a couple months
now, the dink social and you andI were very curious.
Is this a legitimate website or an app for people to connect and
be dinks together or is this like a cover for swingers?

(42:56):
Somebody did it and they are reporting back.
Oh, good. We don't have to do anything.
I know. They did the work for us, they
said. I recently joined the DINK
social app. Wanted to share.
We went to a local meet up this past weekend about 14 couples
for brunch. That is way too many couples for
a brunch for me. Hey, that's a big ass group
dinner hold. On That's my worst nightmare.

(43:18):
That is fucking awful. Oh my.
God fuck. They say couples what happened
to the. Check people at.
Brunch. Oh my God.
What happened to the check? Well, my guess is that like
here's. Here's what I picture in my
head. They went to a brunch.
It's like I don't have patio andall the tables are near each
other, but they're not at the same table on the same check.

(43:40):
You know what I mean? That's at least what I don't
like it, I don't. Like it either, but they say it
seemed like. Everyone, including myself and
my wife had a genuinely great time.
It was great to get to meet other child free couples may not
have had the opportunity to otherwise.
We're already making plans for agame night and pickleball meet
up in the next month or so with these people.

(44:00):
The concept here intriguing and I had to report back and say
it's not a social media app, it's not a dating app, it's not
a best a message board. The only way I can describe it
is a find your people app for those of us who are child free.
So genuine intentions met with genuine results.
It seems like OK, OK and. Wait, what city was this in?

(44:24):
This was they didn't say what city they didn't.
Say what city? Well, we need to find out if it
was LA. Because I'm sold.
Would you wanna? Do you wanna use that?
Not a brunch. Not a brunch I would be down
for. I would be down to try a pickled
dink. Meet up.
Sure. Or a game.
Night and then see if. There's any toxic energy, but I

(44:47):
feel like it could if they really are just people cut from
the same cloth, I would be down.But then again, it's like who
has the time for 28 new friends?That's a lot of people, but.
There's so many friends. There was 20.
Eight people at this. Particular one, but you know,
they're probably connected with a couple or two more in
specific. Sure.

(45:08):
Yeah, no, I think. It's definitely something we
should maybe do, even if it's just for do it for the bit.
I'm not opposed to doing it for the bit.
I think it's like it's, I think it's still be a funny experience
one way or the other. I feel like you're worried about
me making new. Friends as a couple because
you're worried that we're then going to have like new people

(45:30):
that we talked to for the rest of our lives and like go to all
their birthdays and Christmas and like do a million things
together little bit a little bitbecause I think I.
Don't know how to do friendships?
Halfway I only know how to do friendships full full on full
throttle, but you can you can full.
Throttle be a friend with somebody and see them twice a

(45:52):
year, no? Yeah, you can you, you, but see
you only. Have best friends or no friends
and I think you can have friendsI feel.
Like if you don't see people quarterly, they're an
acquaintance, that's fine. What's wrong with going to this?
Thing and making acquaintances, because what's the point of an
acquaintance? Because if you're bored one

(46:14):
weekend and want to go. Play pickleball with somebody.
You're like, oh, those people are nice enough, let's go play.
But acquaintances are. Good for like single people, I
feel. I think you're here.
This is. This is we got to unpack this at
a later. I don't know because I feel like
if you. Have a significant other.
You don't need acquaintances, but acquaintances are good.

(46:34):
If like all your friends are busy and you're single and you
need some a buddy to go do something, then you're like, oh,
let me call that person I haven't seen in.
I think that's the way that it works.
Out more often than not, but I don't think there's anything
wrong with having acquaintances,you know, No, I didn't say
there's anything wrong with acquaintances.
But I don't need to actively seek more acquaintances.
Acquaintances just find you. I think we have hit the cap.

(46:57):
On the amount of times we can say the word acquaintance in
this conversation, it's really hurting my ears at this point.
OK, but I. Think that you.
You definitely go hard for your friends, which is something I
love about you. At the same time, like sometimes
it's at, you know, risk of your own mental health.
I think you can like be a good friend with somebody and not,

(47:18):
not have to, you know, go crazy.I don't know our versions of
going crazy. Are different, sure.
Yeah, that's. Fair.
That's fair. Yours are.
Let's buy. Each other Lamborghinis.
Or at least that's where it's going to go, and I think that's
cool. We'll have enough money at that
point. Let's buy Lamborghinis, why not?

(47:42):
OK one more thing from Reddit. I thought this one was crazy and
a good point and never thought about it this way before.
Somebody who lives with an HOA, that's a home owners
association, they said my HOA istrying to enforce a pet owner
fee because some pet owners are not picking up after their dogs.
They're trying to make people pay a monthly fee for each pet
they own. Meanwhile, all I see when I

(48:05):
drive or walk around my neighborhood is children's toys
and candy wrappers and balls andthings everywhere.
It is so unfair to people who pick up after their dogs while
parents can continue to let. Their crotch.
Goblins run around outside unsupervised, leaving their shit
everywhere. Wow what a good point.

(48:26):
Wow, hot fire. I would move.
I mean not that it's so easy to just move but like fuck that
even if you live in an apartmentbuilding when you don't.
Have an HOA you see like in yourgarage or on people's balconies.
There's all the kids, shit, toys, bikes, it's all over the
and listen fine, pop off like. Have your kids toys but do not

(48:46):
charge me for pet poop. That's not mine.
I know it's kind of crazy. Oh.
No. Oh, no.
Oh. I would raise hell, I know.
I thought about. I thought that was a really
good. Thing to point out, I never
really drew that comparison before and I think it's fair,
honestly, I think it's super fair also, yeah, wait, actually.
The apartment buildings, thank God we don't live in one of

(49:08):
those, but the apartment buildings that charge a monthly
pet rent just to have your pet in the apartment.
And it's they claim that it's for wear and tear on the extra
wear and tear on the apartment itself.
So they're you're paying into anamount of money every month so
that when you move out they can resurfit, like redo the floors
or repaint or whatever blah blahblah.

(49:31):
Yeah, but have you seen an apartment when a young kid moves
out? If you were to put 2 apartments
side by side and a 2 year old moved out and then a dog moved
out, I'm willing to bet the farmon the fact that the apartment
where the 2 year old moved out is way grosser than the one

(49:53):
where the dog moved out. 100% agree.
Agree So. Then we you're talking to two
people who speak from experiencein this field, right?
And we've had dog our. Dogs.
Yeah, our dogs have shit in our home.
Yeah, they have, but dogs do. That kids like kids.
It's not just. Shit and piss and diaper it's
hands and fingers and spit and toy but and walls and like and

(50:17):
paint. Chips.
Off of just whatever. Constant, and they're constantly
touching. The walls I it's disgusting,
every bodily fluid. And why do apartment apartments
not have you pay child rent? That's for.
Some reason it's not societal. Society doesn't allow it.
But I think we need to rethink that.

(50:38):
And I will run on that platform.Yeah.
And. And for those reasons, I'm in
but out on kids we. Landed back at the start, yeah.
Wow. Well, there you have it, folks.
Another week, another kid not inour life.

(50:58):
Another. Heartwarming account of our
biases. We'll see you.
Next time.