May 14, 2026 • 47 mins
Today we learn about a frightening new trend...
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(00:00):
There's a new term buzzing on the Internet, Dick.
Dual income? No, kid, you probably have an
opinion on these people or an opinion on people who have an
opinion on these people. America's birth rate has hit its
lowest point in more than a century.
Some are blaming it on infertility.
Others say the state of the world is causing couples to
think twice about having children.
(00:21):
Childless marriages could be a good thing if they were a result
of God's sovereign providential work.
Oh my God, can't even hear you. They like avocado toast and
brunches out and going to plays and having sweet vacations.
Yeah, you're probably super selfish.
Kids are better than brunch. Wrong.
And then there's another group of young couples that want the
(00:43):
lifestyle of childless households and the lifestyle it
brings with it. Thanks.
Welcome to The Ding Side, the podcast about life, laughs and
living child free. We are a double income no kids
couple. We have to update that to a
double income no kids with the dog couple navigating the UPS,
downs and hilarious in betweens of choosing a different path in
(01:04):
a world that won't stop asking. So when are you having kids?
When is it happening? I'm coming to you midweek this
week because of, I mean, this is, this is the, the life we
live as Dink Watts. There's a lot, there's a lot
going on. Yeah, we have busy schedules.
Despite not caring for other human beings and keeping them
(01:27):
alive, we work on a record. We were.
We were going to record the podcast when I got home on
Monday, but I gave up and so didmy voice.
Do me a favor, go to Instagram, search KDK comedy.
You will see a video that partially explains.
(01:49):
The video from the Ring camera is what happened upon arriving
home on Monday night when we were supposed to record the
podcast. Moments later, I chose to strip
down in a fit of rage and take my shirt off at the door.
Why you? Asked.
Yes, why I would love to tell you now to be clear in that
(02:12):
video I was wearing like a sticky boob pasty bra.
So it was people are like, why'dyou put a black bar across?
And it's like, I wasn't fully naked, but Instagram I think
would have taken it down or penalized me because it looked
like just sticky boobs bra like it didn't look like a regular
(02:32):
bra and it might have flagged itstill so.
Yeah, it definitely looked like and with like a blurry ring door
Orville video, it definitely looked like you just were
topless. Sure.
So the reason that I did that, which I loved your comment more
than anything, the after years of threatening to strip down,
you finally did it. I'm proud of you.
(02:54):
You did it you because every time like you're overwhelmed or
something, like one of your go to phrases or reactions is like
I want to take all my clothes off or I'm I'm going to light
myself on fire. Yeah, I'm going to RIP my shirt
off. That's what I usually say.
Yeah. And so I did it.
(03:15):
I was at AI, was at a gig, and to be as nondescript as
possible, it was just like they needed a comedian to host an
event, basically. And so they hired me to do this.
And it was a place where the median age of the 300 people in
(03:38):
the audience was 70 years old. Good.
And they proceeded to turn into,I don't think they were
drinking, I don't think there was alcohol involved in this
experience, but they seemed likefor the entirety of our time
together, like these 70 year olds regressed into drunk
(04:02):
toddlers. Sure.
It seemed like they were like blacked out children.
They were literally screaming atme saying they couldn't hear me,
saying I was doing it wrong, saying that the other people on
the other team were cheating, saying I should be doing it
(04:25):
better, saying why can't you hear us?
An old man said, I said I can't hear you because everyone's
screaming. And he said that's your fault,
screamed from the middle of the audience.
This man is not anywhere near mybody.
He's like a football field away.That's your fault.
Everyone in this room's wearing a hearing aid.
You should be able to hear. You're like, OK.
(04:49):
Then a old man was creepy with me about how I was holding my
microphone. Oh, it's all about how you hold
it near your mouth. Like literally choke and die.
So anyways, I think it mean, I think that what I discovered
(05:10):
during that was that it doesn't matter how old you are.
In fact, like the circle of life, when you get old enough,
you just become a petulant childagain.
I think what happens is like youare a child and then you have a
child and when you have a child you become a different person
(05:31):
and then when you no longer haveto care for your child, you go
back to the person you were before the child, which was a
child I. Guess, I guess I don't know.
I just, I thoroughly, I thought about leaving the event.
I thought about putting the microphone down and walking to
my car because what are they going to do?
Chase me? Yeah.
(05:54):
But I didn't want to ruin my boss's reputation, so I finished
the gig and then I walked to my car and then I called my boss
and I quit. And his response was like, I
understand. Yeah, to be fair, he took it
well. Very well it seems like.
(06:17):
So my beef is not with him. My beef is with petulant old
people that become drunk toddlers.
And also there was no alcohol and also there were no prizes.
They weren't competing for anything specific.
They were just this was like thebiggest thing they've done in
months and because. Usually in this situation
(06:37):
they're competing over somethinglike a coupon book or something
like ridiculous, but still a prize or cash or cash.
But no, this was over nothing. And they were just screaming for
two hours at me and a couple people came up at the end and
were like, sorry, were we the worst crowd you've ever had?
(06:58):
And I said yes. Without a doubt.
And then one guy was like, sorry, old people are really
mean, OK? Is that a requirement?
Like, by the way, if you can recognize that you can just
like, I don't know, do somethingabout it, you could not be.
Mean you could just not be mean anyways, I don't really give a
(07:18):
fuck about them, like what they think of me.
I just said, I said on the phone, it's not that I can't
handle this, it's that I don't want to.
Yeah, yeah, good for you. I stand by that.
And then I, the reason I took the shirt off of the door was
(07:40):
because they gave me that shirt to wear for their event.
So I didn't want their energy entering the home.
Which I appreciate. So I did dispose of it,
obviously, and I stand by quitting.
And by the way, it was trash daytoday, so that's gone, gone now
(08:01):
it's gone. It's never coming back.
Don't even try, don't, don't even ask.
And I was screaming into a microphone for the two hours so
I had no voice by the time I gothome and it didn't seem worth it
to push through when I knew we could just recoup for a couple
(08:26):
days and explain to you later. So here we are now.
This whole story reminds me of I.
I completely black this out of my brain until this happened to
you, but I used to go like 3 * ayear when I was in elementary
school. We would go on a field trip to a
(08:47):
nursing home and at the nursing home we would do like one of two
things, which was either sing songs to the people at the
nursing home or we would eat lunch with the people at the
nursing home. And every single time we went,
nobody in my school wanted to go.
I mean, we all were like miserable.
(09:08):
The days that we had to go do this, not because I particular
like I, I love older people, butin these particular
environments. Old people usually, first of all
love me. 100% same and love. You.
Same. And but in this particular
environment, what would end up happening is like we would, I
(09:29):
was like in second grade standing up singing, you know, a
church hymn to these people and booing, booing, screaming,
yelling, people in wheelchairs saying get out of my house.
Like I have vivid memories. Of them booing you, yes that's
(09:50):
insane. It was like the worst audience
I've ever had in my life. And what age were you, 10?
This was literally 3, two or three times a year from
preschool to 8th grade. And every time they would Boo.
Almost every time there was somebody like there was a
handful of people like clapping,smiling, but then there was a
(10:10):
bunch of crab asses there like, Boo, why do I have to sit here
and watch this? There was one time where
somebody was in their wheelchair, like they didn't
want to sit there and listen to us saying.
And so they tried to like split and a bunch of aids that worked
at the nursing home were like chasing them down the hall while
they're speeding off in their wheelchair.
(10:30):
And they're just we're in the middle of singing like onward,
Christian soldier. And you just hear fucker, you're
never going to catch me. Fuck you just like it was so it
reminded me of this thing that you had to do because it's like,
I, I think it just has so much to do with the environment and
(10:52):
it also people who are at a certain point in their life
where they just don't give a fuck.
And also people that know they can get away with it because the
people that were running this event didn't set a precedent
that that was unacceptable behavior.
And in fact, the people running the event were perpetrating the
(11:13):
same behavior. Right, because normally somebody
would get on a mic and say, hey,you guys need to calm down.
Katie's trying to give you a funday.
It was basically like a loony bin run by the inmates, like
totally to be clear. So anyways, a nightmare.
I'm just got the imagine how scarring that would be as a
(11:35):
child. I mean, you literally lived
through it like people booing you and you're like 7.
I know Jesus. I mean, it was just like, I
maybe it affected me in some way.
I don't, I just remember not wanting to be there.
I don't think I ever got like upset about it, but there were
people in my class definitely were getting upset about it.
(11:57):
Like just sitting there cry singing while there's.
Oh my God, if I ever become likethat, just like, shoot me in the
head like. That's how I feel about like
when we go to the store and, or like Starbucks or something and
there's a, you know, sometimes there'll be an elderly person in
front of us who's very sweet andother times they'll be like
(12:19):
really fucking asshole to assholes to the people working
there. And it I just, it's like this
weird crab ass sense of entitlement.
I don't know. I'm certainly not painting the
picture that all older people have a problem.
That's not the case. But like there is a specific
group. There's a specific group.
(12:41):
Yeah, I think not all old peopleare created equal and not all
children are created equal. And sometimes they blend.
Those Venn diagrams blend together at times.
Yeah, Amen, Amen. I heard about something new
today at work that I did not know was a thing.
(13:03):
And it sounds like, I think it'sa very cool thing to do on
paper, but it kind of sounds like our worst nightmare maybe.
OK. A friend that I work with is on
the side. They also DJ and I had, I was on
a meeting and we were all talking like oh, how's the how's
(13:24):
the weekend looking for everyoneblah blah, blah.
And she said oh, it's going to OK.
I have a DJ gig this weekend. It's a group baby shower at the
YMCA. What?
She's DJ ING a group baby shower, so there's going to be
52 families doing their baby shower at the same time.
(13:48):
Why? What?
Hey. Now, no.
I think the idea is to promote community.
And also it's like, if you can'tafford to throw one, this is
kind of the solution for fun. Whatever, but my goodness.
What do you mean if you can't afford to throw one?
What are we including in baby showers?
They're not like $1000 parties. Don't people just come over to
(14:12):
your house and do a potluck? I mean, I guess my point, I
guess my point is like, I'm surethere's some pure intention
behind this and I respect it at the same time.
Families is insane. At the same time, you will never
see me at 1 and I we've talked about this before, but I don't,
I believe I have never been to ababy shower, I believe.
(14:33):
What is the cost to not go? Like I would literally pay what?
What amount of money would you pay to not go to that?
At least a couple 100 bucks. What do you think?
I think I would pay up to $1000 to not to not go to that.
Like that sounds so horrible. It does. 50. 252. 52.
(14:58):
Honey, Oh my God. And for some reason, I don't
know why I thought of this, but it reminded me of because at one
of these, you can imagine there are moms and dads who are
expecting to have kids. There are families of moms and
dads expecting to have kids. There are friends of there's a
(15:20):
lot of parents that are friends with those parents that are,
that are present. And it reminded me in a way, and
I know this doesn't really make sense, but it kind of reminded
me of move in day at college because there are it's a swarm
of fucking parents everywhere. You're fine.
I'm trying to find a thing that has to do exactly with what
(15:41):
you're saying. OK, it's a swarm of parents
everywhere and kids who don't want their parents to be there
stressing out. And the parents are making it
about them and not the kids. And like, that is the last time
I think I can remember because you know, you like meet your
roommate and their parents come in and their parents are more
stressed about them moving in than they are.
And like just a lot of lot of mom and dad energy at a group
(16:04):
baby shower. I would.
Think and everyone like it's very important to them.
So everyone's tensions are high.And so and also what I was just
looking for is pregnant ladies comment section.
(16:25):
It's like crazy shit you did while you were pregnant like
while you had hormones or whatever.
And the comment section was insane and I'm trying to find it
and I thought I sent it to you today.
OK here it is. Told my husband not to look at
(16:45):
me because he was making me nauseous.
It's just stuff like if this is what is happening on a regular
day, imagine a 52 person baby shower.
Like absolutely unhinged. Here's another one.
I had an air bubble in my ice cream and emailed Ben and
Jerry's corporate sobbing and they sent me a full gift basket
(17:09):
of baby stuff. Before the Mexican pizza
returned to Taco Bell. I would regularly sob at 3:00 AM
and write them stern emails to make it return before my due
date. Unhinged, but it's back so
you're welcome. The Taco Bell Mexican pizza.
(17:30):
Some of these are just about fast food.
So I'm going oh woke my husband up from a dead sleep bawling
because he hadn't made me the PBand J sandwich that I dreamt
about. Then after he did make me one, I
cried harder because it wasn't spaghetti on hand.
(17:51):
It's. Great.
Thought too much about the opening scene of Finding Nemo
and started crying. Cried so hard I threw up all
over myself. OK.
I printed off divorce papers andstarted filling them out because
my husband didn't get me Reese's.
(18:12):
I had never asked for the Reese's.
I bawled because I made waffles for everyone and mine fell on
the floor. But even when my husband tried
to give me his, I made mine better than everyone else's so
it wasn't good enough. OK, anyways, these are all
(18:33):
unhinged but it's like picture like the hormones of 52 women in
one room. That's a lot.
It's a lot and a bunch of dads dadding out too, you know,
because a lot of showers are mixed gender now like.
And then just other yeah and other children running around
(18:57):
and whatever. Just.
It sounds like something I got invited to, sort of.
I got invited recently again. I'm questioning if any of my
friends actually understand or know me as a person.
But one of my friends invited meto their child's birthday party
at a children's Aquatic Center and her pitch was that her other
(19:22):
friends with children were coming and bringing their kids
and that I should come too so I could hang out with her.
In the quote, pea filled water while their children played
around. No.
First of all, if there's a diaper in the pool, I'm not in
the pool. Do we understand?
(19:43):
I think that's a good rule to live by.
Agreed. I don't want your pee and poopy
diaper near my body. I don't want the water that's
touching your asshole touching my asshole.
I don't. Also, why would I be invited to
this weird party when I'm the only one that doesn't have a kid
invited so that I'm just the weird girl without a kid?
(20:06):
It's like, I don't want to say it's creepy, but like it is like
going to a dog park. Without a dog?
Yeah. Yeah.
And you know what it's like? It's like going to a dog park
without a dog and sitting on theground because the dogs at the
dog park pee and poop all over the ground.
(20:27):
And you know who pees and poops in an Aquatic Center pool for
children? The kids.
Yeah, I mean, I don't even like going to a public pool with that
many adults. Because the adults are going to
public I it has ruined like water parks for me because I'm
realizing that there's essentially scabies floating
(20:49):
around you. There was one time we went to a
public pool, I think was it in Palm Springs, and we were
sitting in there and like this, this big wad of like foam
floated towards us because it was like the runoff of
everybody's sunscreen and urine and all that.
(21:10):
And it was all adults and it wasstill disgusting.
Only adults. This was an adult only place and
it was vile. I can't even, no, I'm not going
to go in with kids. I mean, the kids are the ones
that at the public pools, they shut the pool down because
there's a turd in there. Yeah, I can't do it.
So I just said well first of all, I am out of town for it so
(21:33):
I didn't even have to lie. But like I think if I wasn't out
of town I would have just been like lol no.
Yeah, it's also just like I you,you guys have your fun.
I'm not going to add fun to that.
No, I almost was thinking of being like, I don't think I
would be a fun addition to this party.
(21:54):
Like I will send you a gift. Like I can't be there, sorry.
I think that there's nothing wrong with that.
Go with God. I think I'm getting better at
saying no to stuff. You are, so that's good.
You definitely are. I'm proud of you.
Thanks, I'm getting better at quitting and saying no to you
(22:18):
are. It's true.
You're you're. This is like the at least the
second Aquatic Center thing thatyou've turned down.
If I didn't quit today, I would be doing another event in a
parking lot with about 150 children.
So instead I'm I'm recording a podcast at home about not having
(22:41):
children. Much better, Much better.
You know, one of the things I amaddicted to on social media is
Costco deals. And like, there's like, I don't
know, a dozen accounts I follow and they're all independently
run because Costco doesn't even think have their own official
(23:01):
accounts. And basically there are pages of
people just sharing like the best things that they find at
Costco and stuff. Well, everybody's talking about
this week. How they, it's like the age-old
story that the Costco food courthas the hot dog thing for $1.50
and they're never going to raisethe price.
(23:22):
And they've done research and the research shows that like
families will keep their Costco membership just to be able to
come in and get the hot dog thing.
So they're, they're keeping it at that price forever, point
blank period. But they had this thing on the
menu there for a long time that was like a chicken bake, like
essentially a Hot Pocket. Do they not still have it?
(23:44):
They're swapping it out and testing it.
They're testing putting chicken fingers like chicken tenders on
the menu instead 'cause they're like a lot more kids would want
that. It's a way to appeal to
families. It's a great place to have a
group baby shower if if you're so inclined.
I looked at one of these pages, shared a picture of the menu,
(24:10):
and I don't know what's typical,'cause you and I haven't had
chicken tenders in a long time. We haven't had meat in about
over 2 years now. The calorie count on chicken
tenders and fries at Costco. What?
1600 calories. Oh shit, Oh my God, how many
(24:34):
tenders is it? It's like 2 or 3.
Isn't that what you're supposed to eat in a day?
Yeah, I think like 1500 is is what you're supposed to shoot
for the average person. Isn't that nuts?
Shit. So it made me think like, have I
not known that this entire time?Wow.
(24:58):
Damn I don't know. Is it including my sauce?
Like what is it including? I don't know.
And you know, I'm not trying to go on a tear about Costco being
crazy, but like. Well did can you pull that menu
up again? What is the calories on their
pizza? Let's see.
I bet it's worse. Court menu.
(25:19):
I'm willing to say it's worse. The calories on their.
And are we talking one slice? OK, why is it so hard to find a
good picture? I literally.
They're all just blurry. God damn.
OK, a slice of cheese pizza at Costco. 710 calories.
(25:48):
OK. A slice of pepperoni is 650.
How is cheese more? I don't know the the chicken
bake is the thing they're replacing the with the chicken
tenders. 840 calories. OK, and then what about the hot
(26:09):
dog? The hot dog is five.
It says 580 to 850 calories. I don't know why it's such a
range. The hot dog seems like a pretty
consistent meal every time. Basically the health food at
this point considering the menu.Legally good for you.
(26:29):
Jesus, that's kind of crazy. I thought that was nuts.
And now picture a kid taking taking down the whole basket of
chicken tenders and fries. I know it literally made me
think of like the the kids lunchthings and like, you know, when
I was a kid and they would give you the chocolate milk when
stuff at lunch and thinking I don't know how many calories
(26:51):
that was. It was probably terrible for me,
but a lot of families are doing this type of stuff now because
of everything being expensive and gas going up.
Well, what is the cost of the chicken tenders and stuff like I
know the hot dog, OK, I was like, I know the hot dog deal is
still good, but. 699, which I think is like cheaper than if
you go to Wendy's and get chicken tenders or something.
(27:16):
So a lot of people flock into the Costco to get these 2000
calorie chicken tenders. I think that I didn't think
about what a lot of things were before when I.
In the before times. And now, when I think about a
hot dog, things are bleak. It I do agree.
(27:40):
I get kind of nauseous, like if we're really thinking about what
is a hot dog, I don't really know, but when why is it like a
weird brown tube of me I? Couldn't agree more.
I think when you eat. And it's like rubbery.
It's like weird. And it has like a snap to it.
(28:00):
Like I hate this. Because I think what happens is,
and you know, not to go on a like a crazy at this point
nearly vegan trip, but you when you eat meat, you do it like
ignorance is bliss type of vibes, you know?
Well, yeah, you try not to thinkabout it.
And then I am still of the opinion that every time we go
(28:25):
out to eat with people, like it doesn't bother me at all when
other people get meat. Like I'm not sitting there in
judgement, but I the one time that I that it did bother me
recently it was when our one friend ordered was it 1/2
chicken or a whole chicken? It was 1/2 chicken.
(28:47):
Or something and it came out andit looked like the whole, like
it looked like it's a whole bodywith just missing a head.
Yeah. And I was like, oh, I don't like
seeing it in full body form. OK.
I have another question about this because we just looked at a
restaurant the other day that opened down the street and we're
(29:08):
like, well, let's take a look atthe menu, see if they have stuff
we like. It was primarily meat, but one
of the things they had on there was a branzino, and they brought
it out with the head still on it.
And even in a situation where I would eat that, why do I want to
see its head? Why do I want to look into its
dead eyes? Why is that a thing?
(29:29):
Its eyes were still on it and ithad its mouth open.
Like I don't get it, why are we doing this?
Is that supposed to make me think like it?
Oh, it's fresh. Here's the thing, I suppose I
respect it if you're able 'causewe first of all, we've
definitely eaten a whole chickenbefore in whole.
Chicken. Warm or a half chicken or
(29:51):
whatever when you order that. We've absolutely consumed that
before and for some reason it didn't bother me then.
I don't know why I think I respect it more 'cause you're
like, oh, I'm fully aware of what I'm doing and I'm fine with
it. You're like, you're fully like
down. And so if you're able to eat
something that's staring you in the face with the head on,
you're like, yeah, I am doing this and I'm looking at it right
(30:12):
now. I think I need the ability or
needed the ability to disassociate the fact that I was
eating someone's body. You know what I mean.
Yeah, but looking into the dead fish eyes while you eat it, not
something I'm interested in doing.
No at all. I'm good on that.
No, thank you. I don't know.
(30:34):
And then we didn't end up going because we, it just seemed like
all they had. We literally, we literally
didn't go and stayed at home andmade like a bowl of raw
vegetables. I don't know, I think we might
be going off the deep end now and alienating audience.
That's fine. No, what we're saying is we, we
(30:55):
respect the people who can do it.
It just like it. It does.
I completely agree. Like the more time you spend
away from it, the more you're like, wait a second, I don't
know that I want the hot dog. No.
That being said, we went to a Dodger game and got like a fake
hot dog. It was pretty good.
The plant based hot dog I am less concerned because it's just
(31:18):
like soybean based or something.It doesn't like skeeve me out as
much I suppose. I still don't love that it's
just like a brown tube but I cantell myself that it's bean based
(31:40):
and not be like this is someone's intestines or
something. Sure.
Yeah, I get what you mean. Is that what's in them?
I don't it they're you know, it's a it's a sack of vegetables
that they just, you know, satchel all up for you so you
can eat it. That's all I know.
(32:02):
Speaking of food though, you said something about before we
were started recording somethingabout a Nerds lawsuit.
Yeah, there's like a class action lawsuit and or like a
situation going on because I guess it's 99 nerds or something
(32:23):
or you're hold on, let me make sure I'm not misquoting nerds
lawsuit, but there's arsenic in nerds.
In the candy. Nerd yes, correct.
So there is children consuming nerds obviously is their main
(32:47):
demographic I would think and nerds OK as of February 2026.
So we're a little late to this news.
Sorry guys. Multiple class action lawsuits
accuse Ferrara candy company They do Nerds, Laffy Taffy,
Sweet Tarts and Trolley Gummies that they they're suing because
(33:09):
they contain dangerous undisclosed levels of arsenic.
Testing cited in the suit suggests small amounts of these
candies may exceed a child safe annual arsenic consumption
limit. So a small 1.5 oz box of Nerds
can exceed the safe annual limitfor a child for arsenic
(33:35):
consumption. OK, how long has this been the
case? Also another named item was
another complaint noted that eating 4 pieces of banana
flavored laffy taffy could also exceed annual toxic limits.
Oh my. God, OK.
(33:55):
So if you take down a Halloween basket of candy, you're like
you've consumed more arsenic than you should in 10 years.
I my when I was a kid. Isn't any arsenic too much
arsenic? Well.
See, that's, that's where we open up a whole can of worms
because there's a whole like, oh, this is a safe amount of
(34:18):
insects that can be in a chocolate bar and like there's
all kinds of stuff like that. Mark my words and don't and I'll
never be caught saying this again out loud.
I would rather eat a spider thanarsenic.
Sure. It's natural in my candy.
What? What I don't.
(34:38):
OK, so first of all, the literally the two things you
just mentioned were probably thetwo candies I ate the most as a
kid. Well, this explains a lot.
I'm not exaggerating, this explains a lot of the laffy
taffy flavors. Banana was my favorite.
EW, it was my least favorite. Of of the trick and treating or
(34:58):
trick or treating candies. Nerds were top three for me.
Nerds and smarties. The nerds clusters.
How many nerds are on one cluster like?
40 at least no? How do you think?
The small clusters like 10. Maybe 10.
Well, OK, 10. I just think like it's truly so
(35:23):
insane that they've that they'reallowed to operate and I think
This is why we don't see these types of candies in Europe or
whatever because they're not cleared by their Food and Drug
Administration. Yeah, it's the same thing with
the dyes and all that stuff. There's arsenic in our candy.
(35:45):
It's imagine if that was the case of the candy.
Imagine what like breakfast cereals were like when we were
kids. Yeah, there was no Magic Spoon
Protein cereal. It was it was.
The first and only ingredient ishigh fructose corn syrup and red
dye 40. Yeah, it was like, you know,
(36:07):
Lucky Charms is not going to have, it's not going to be
organic. No, I just am.
It's crazy how actually we're just eating rat poison.
Yeah, I mean, God, it's a whole like, I, I don't know about you,
but when I was a kid, I had like, if Lucky Charms was the
(36:28):
brand name I was eating the bagged cereal version of it that
they used to sell at Walmart called like Lucky Stars.
And if like Lucky Charms was bad, you got to think that Lucky
Stars was pumping more arsenic in there or something.
I don't know. That's crazy.
Truly. Insane.
That's crazy. I do love a nerd though.
(36:49):
I don't know. This will stop me from eating
it. OK, they'll they'll remove the
arsenic and find a way to maintain the flavor.
Once a year, yeah, they'll startselling packages that say
arsenic free. It's science.
As I mentioned, things are really expensive right now.
Gas is high everywhere in the country.
Families are freaking out on what to do for Memorial Day
(37:11):
because it's a big driving holiday, so a lot of people are
not going places. And there's been a number of
promotions this week of gas stations giving away gas.
There was a movie that's coming out this weekend with Keke
Palmer. I forget the name of it.
They did like a promotion with aShell station in LA or some
(37:31):
other gas station where it was like the 1st 150 cars that came,
they'd fill it up for free. And there's been, there was, I
saw one in the news today of a gas station that I think it was
just the gas station itself was like, we're going to give it
away to the 1st 5050 people thatcome.
And I thought it was so funny because I mean, it's crazy that
(37:53):
the line was insane, people hoping to get free gas.
But when the news interviewed this lady, they were asking her
like, you know, why is this so important to you?
She's like, I'm a mom. I have a family.
Gas is like really hard and expensive for us right now.
We have a lot of kids to feed and they asked her like what
part of town she came from. She drove like 100 miles to go
(38:17):
to go to the gas station to get the free gas.
So to get home, she has to use all of the free gas.
Yes. And, and I was like, wait a
second. I never really thought about
that. And then I looked at other
videos and it's the same. It's a very similar story.
People are saying like, oh, I got to go to this part of town
(38:38):
today to go get the free gas andit's like you're driving you're
you're driving and using a quarter tank, half a tank of gas
to go get the free gas. So you're.
Saving what, like $20? Maybe $5.
In some cases losing money. I was like what the fuck are
(38:59):
people doing? Oh no.
It was insane. Insane behavior.
Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, I thought that was a
funny thing. OK, a couple things to go over
before we get out of here. We talked about the DINK Social
app several times. We talked about it when it first
(39:20):
came out and our prediction was like, it kind of seems like this
is going to be a place for swingers.
Well, somebody went to Reddit onthe DINK subreddit, double
income, no kids, and they said that they joined it.
This post says my wife and I joined the DINK social app about
a month ago and I've really enjoyed our experience so far.
(39:40):
We have been to a total of 2 events and even hosted 2 events
and I just wanted to share for everyone that's interested that
we've started forming some good bonds with other Dinks and we're
super happy that we joined. We reached out to the founders
of the app and will actually be meeting up with them soon on our
trip to Europe. OK, I've discovered there's
(40:05):
another reason we should be on this app, because then we could
stay with people across the world and get free
accommodations in other countries.
See, and that's kind of why I wanted to bring it up because
we've been talking a lot about international travel and we've
been watching this HGTV show that that has bargain dream
(40:27):
homes like in Spain and stuff. And I'm thinking there might be
an Ave. here. So they didn't mention any weird
sex stuff. They did not mention any weird
sex stuff and there was no weirdlike winky emoji in it or
anything. Like that any eggplants or?
Water, no eggplants, no mention of like flowers, some people or
(40:50):
roses. That's what the code word for,
you know, paying for sex, I think.
So there's nothing like that on there.
Or pineapples. No pineapples.
Upside down pineapples. No.
So I think it's a legitimately positive interview or review of
the DINK Social app. So maybe one day we try it out
(41:10):
and we end up in Europe. I don't know.
That's. I thought it was worth
mentioning. I assume step one, join the app,
Step 2 make friends and immediately stay with them in
Europe. Yeah, exactly.
You nailed it. Wait, is it international or
it's just the founders of the app are in Europe?
(41:31):
That's a good question. Like it's only.
Follow up. Yeah, we'll ask.
We'll ask. It's funny though, because I
thought of, I thought of, or I saw that and and wanted to bring
it up partially because I tried something earlier this week to
like branch out a bit to it's kind of on the same vein of like
(41:51):
creating community, meeting people who are similar minded,
blah, blah, blah. We went to this Wellness place a
couple weeks ago for a sound bath.
You go there semi regularly and sound bath, very cool, very
healing. I enjoyed it a lot.
And when we were there, I was invited to come back for men's
(42:11):
Circle, which they decided to doa couple weeks later.
And this was past Monday night. So I was like, yeah, I'm going
to go. I'm going to put myself out
there a bit. Been looking for more like
community with other like mindedmen.
I would say I'm not a person wholike Bros out a bunch goes to
like a fellas let's go like get beers and golf.
(42:36):
So I went and I showed up and itwas me and the owner of the
place. So men men community be small.
We we were talking for like 10 or 15 minutes and then this
other guy showed up who was justabout 80 years old and he had A
(42:57):
tag around his neck that said ask me about my book.
And he proceeded to try and sellhis book, his self published
book do. You remember the name of the
book. I don't, and that's my deepest
regret. That is my deepest regret.
I should have written it down, but I don't think it's available
anywhere because I think it was self published in the early 90s.
(43:21):
And it turned into like the exact thing that I was looking
to avoid, which was let's bro out and, and let's talk about
how hard it is with the women fellas.
And I was like, Oh my God, this is going downhill.
And then he decided to start talking about everybody's penis
sizes and started going down theroad of, well, this is a natural
(43:44):
thing we do. We look at each other's penises.
Did he take off his pants at anypoint?
He didn't, but I'll be honest, Ihalf expected it.
You were like, uh oh, it's coming.
I have expected it because he kept like skirting around the
fact that he's into dudes and I'm like, hey, that's totally
(44:04):
acceptable brother. But like, there's other avenues
for that. Right.
We don't have to get out of measuring tape and like, look at
each other's Dicks, Yeah. Yeah, and it was, it was
definitely teetering on that dare because he mentioned like
high school a bunch, He mentioned locker rooms a bunch.
He mentioned this trip he went on in Thailand where he like
exposed himself to a bunch of people and they all compared
(44:27):
size. And I'm like, OK, there's a
theme here. You've we've we've talked about
it. We start talking about something
else. You brought it back to penises
there. We I understand what's happening
you. Had shown interest, he would
have shown you his. Penis.
He absolutely would have like ifI would say, oh man, I get it.
I don't think it's that big of adeal here.
(44:47):
Like let me show you mine. He would definitely pull his
pants down without a doubt insane.
So anyway, pretty much the opposite of what I was looking
for. So my point is maybe I will try
signing us up for DINK Social and.
I need like old men to stop being so fucking weird.
Like I, I'm begging there was, Iwas running at the park this
(45:09):
week and I was just going in like it was a, it's a circle
dirt path. So I was going in circles and
going opposite of me was this woman with her baby stroller and
she had an infant in the stroller and she was just
pushing it in a circle, but going the opposite way of me.
And a man walking by himself stopped her and like shoved his
(45:35):
head and he was like, can I see your baby?
And shoved his head in the bassinet part like he like
shoved his head to look at her baby.
And I was, I stopped running to see if she needed help.
And she just seemed like so taken aback like this random
strange man wants to see my baby.
(45:57):
Like OK. But she for some reason let it
happen. I thought motherly instincts
would kick in and she'd be like no get away from my stroller.
But she just like let him see the baby.
But it's like, hey, let's just all know that it's weird to do
that. Like don't ask to see people's
(46:18):
baby and shove your head in their face and like.
And you know what? If that would have ended
compliment, No. And if that would have ended in
the dude getting pepper sprayed,Totally acceptable.
Totally acceptable if that's what you need to do.
Like green light. Yeah, it was just so bizarre and
I the way I actually like, stopped my run because I was
(46:41):
like, this is weird. It's yeah.
It's also 'cause it's like the optics.
The optics are just horrendous. It's like how stereotypical
you're creeping on a mom in a park.
Yeah, it's. So weird.
Yeah, this is, see, this is the type of thing I was hoping we
could talk about in men's group and said it was Dicks.
(47:05):
It was a lot of women be shopping and my Dick is how big.
And in my day, we used to be able to, you know, do these
things. Women wouldn't say.
Now they're mechanics. Isn't that crazy?
OK, Anyway, we live to to die. Another day.
I'll find an outlet somewhere. It's probably just not there.
(47:29):
Yeah. Anything else, babe?
Oh, certainly not. Well, hope you all have a good
week, hope you all have a fun time if you're going to a group
baby shower, but you will not find us there.
Yeah, have fun in whatever public pool.
(47:50):
Hell on earth, bye.
There's a new term buzzing on the Internet, Dick.
Dual income? No, kid, you probably have an
opinion on these people or an opinion on people who have an
opinion on these people. America's birth rate has hit its
lowest point in more than a century.
Some are blaming it on infertility.
Others say the state of the world is causing couples to
think twice about having children.
(00:21):
Childless marriages could be a good thing if they were a result
of God's sovereign providential work.
Oh my God, can't even hear you. They like avocado toast and
brunches out and going to plays and having sweet vacations.
Yeah, you're probably super selfish.
Kids are better than brunch. Wrong.
And then there's another group of young couples that want the
(00:43):
lifestyle of childless households and the lifestyle it
brings with it. Thanks.
Welcome to The Ding Side, the podcast about life, laughs and
living child free. We are a double income no kids
couple. We have to update that to a
double income no kids with the dog couple navigating the UPS,
downs and hilarious in betweens of choosing a different path in
(01:04):
a world that won't stop asking. So when are you having kids?
When is it happening? I'm coming to you midweek this
week because of, I mean, this is, this is the, the life we
live as Dink Watts. There's a lot, there's a lot
going on. Yeah, we have busy schedules.
Despite not caring for other human beings and keeping them
(01:27):
alive, we work on a record. We were.
We were going to record the podcast when I got home on
Monday, but I gave up and so didmy voice.
Do me a favor, go to Instagram, search KDK comedy.
You will see a video that partially explains.
(01:49):
The video from the Ring camera is what happened upon arriving
home on Monday night when we were supposed to record the
podcast. Moments later, I chose to strip
down in a fit of rage and take my shirt off at the door.
Why you? Asked.
Yes, why I would love to tell you now to be clear in that
(02:12):
video I was wearing like a sticky boob pasty bra.
So it was people are like, why'dyou put a black bar across?
And it's like, I wasn't fully naked, but Instagram I think
would have taken it down or penalized me because it looked
like just sticky boobs bra like it didn't look like a regular
(02:32):
bra and it might have flagged itstill so.
Yeah, it definitely looked like and with like a blurry ring door
Orville video, it definitely looked like you just were
topless. Sure.
So the reason that I did that, which I loved your comment more
than anything, the after years of threatening to strip down,
you finally did it. I'm proud of you.
(02:54):
You did it you because every time like you're overwhelmed or
something, like one of your go to phrases or reactions is like
I want to take all my clothes off or I'm I'm going to light
myself on fire. Yeah, I'm going to RIP my shirt
off. That's what I usually say.
Yeah. And so I did it.
(03:15):
I was at AI, was at a gig, and to be as nondescript as
possible, it was just like they needed a comedian to host an
event, basically. And so they hired me to do this.
And it was a place where the median age of the 300 people in
(03:38):
the audience was 70 years old. Good.
And they proceeded to turn into,I don't think they were
drinking, I don't think there was alcohol involved in this
experience, but they seemed likefor the entirety of our time
together, like these 70 year olds regressed into drunk
(04:02):
toddlers. Sure.
It seemed like they were like blacked out children.
They were literally screaming atme saying they couldn't hear me,
saying I was doing it wrong, saying that the other people on
the other team were cheating, saying I should be doing it
(04:25):
better, saying why can't you hear us?
An old man said, I said I can't hear you because everyone's
screaming. And he said that's your fault,
screamed from the middle of the audience.
This man is not anywhere near mybody.
He's like a football field away.That's your fault.
Everyone in this room's wearing a hearing aid.
You should be able to hear. You're like, OK.
(04:49):
Then a old man was creepy with me about how I was holding my
microphone. Oh, it's all about how you hold
it near your mouth. Like literally choke and die.
So anyways, I think it mean, I think that what I discovered
(05:10):
during that was that it doesn't matter how old you are.
In fact, like the circle of life, when you get old enough,
you just become a petulant childagain.
I think what happens is like youare a child and then you have a
child and when you have a child you become a different person
(05:31):
and then when you no longer haveto care for your child, you go
back to the person you were before the child, which was a
child I. Guess, I guess I don't know.
I just, I thoroughly, I thought about leaving the event.
I thought about putting the microphone down and walking to
my car because what are they going to do?
Chase me? Yeah.
(05:54):
But I didn't want to ruin my boss's reputation, so I finished
the gig and then I walked to my car and then I called my boss
and I quit. And his response was like, I
understand. Yeah, to be fair, he took it
well. Very well it seems like.
(06:17):
So my beef is not with him. My beef is with petulant old
people that become drunk toddlers.
And also there was no alcohol and also there were no prizes.
They weren't competing for anything specific.
They were just this was like thebiggest thing they've done in
months and because. Usually in this situation
(06:37):
they're competing over somethinglike a coupon book or something
like ridiculous, but still a prize or cash or cash.
But no, this was over nothing. And they were just screaming for
two hours at me and a couple people came up at the end and
were like, sorry, were we the worst crowd you've ever had?
(06:58):
And I said yes. Without a doubt.
And then one guy was like, sorry, old people are really
mean, OK? Is that a requirement?
Like, by the way, if you can recognize that you can just
like, I don't know, do somethingabout it, you could not be.
Mean you could just not be mean anyways, I don't really give a
(07:18):
fuck about them, like what they think of me.
I just said, I said on the phone, it's not that I can't
handle this, it's that I don't want to.
Yeah, yeah, good for you. I stand by that.
And then I, the reason I took the shirt off of the door was
(07:40):
because they gave me that shirt to wear for their event.
So I didn't want their energy entering the home.
Which I appreciate. So I did dispose of it,
obviously, and I stand by quitting.
And by the way, it was trash daytoday, so that's gone, gone now
(08:01):
it's gone. It's never coming back.
Don't even try, don't, don't even ask.
And I was screaming into a microphone for the two hours so
I had no voice by the time I gothome and it didn't seem worth it
to push through when I knew we could just recoup for a couple
(08:26):
days and explain to you later. So here we are now.
This whole story reminds me of I.
I completely black this out of my brain until this happened to
you, but I used to go like 3 * ayear when I was in elementary
school. We would go on a field trip to a
(08:47):
nursing home and at the nursing home we would do like one of two
things, which was either sing songs to the people at the
nursing home or we would eat lunch with the people at the
nursing home. And every single time we went,
nobody in my school wanted to go.
I mean, we all were like miserable.
(09:08):
The days that we had to go do this, not because I particular
like I, I love older people, butin these particular
environments. Old people usually, first of all
love me. 100% same and love. You.
Same. And but in this particular
environment, what would end up happening is like we would, I
(09:29):
was like in second grade standing up singing, you know, a
church hymn to these people and booing, booing, screaming,
yelling, people in wheelchairs saying get out of my house.
Like I have vivid memories. Of them booing you, yes that's
(09:50):
insane. It was like the worst audience
I've ever had in my life. And what age were you, 10?
This was literally 3, two or three times a year from
preschool to 8th grade. And every time they would Boo.
Almost every time there was somebody like there was a
handful of people like clapping,smiling, but then there was a
(10:10):
bunch of crab asses there like, Boo, why do I have to sit here
and watch this? There was one time where
somebody was in their wheelchair, like they didn't
want to sit there and listen to us saying.
And so they tried to like split and a bunch of aids that worked
at the nursing home were like chasing them down the hall while
they're speeding off in their wheelchair.
(10:30):
And they're just we're in the middle of singing like onward,
Christian soldier. And you just hear fucker, you're
never going to catch me. Fuck you just like it was so it
reminded me of this thing that you had to do because it's like,
I, I think it just has so much to do with the environment and
(10:52):
it also people who are at a certain point in their life
where they just don't give a fuck.
And also people that know they can get away with it because the
people that were running this event didn't set a precedent
that that was unacceptable behavior.
And in fact, the people running the event were perpetrating the
(11:13):
same behavior. Right, because normally somebody
would get on a mic and say, hey,you guys need to calm down.
Katie's trying to give you a funday.
It was basically like a loony bin run by the inmates, like
totally to be clear. So anyways, a nightmare.
I'm just got the imagine how scarring that would be as a
(11:35):
child. I mean, you literally lived
through it like people booing you and you're like 7.
I know Jesus. I mean, it was just like, I
maybe it affected me in some way.
I don't, I just remember not wanting to be there.
I don't think I ever got like upset about it, but there were
people in my class definitely were getting upset about it.
(11:57):
Like just sitting there cry singing while there's.
Oh my God, if I ever become likethat, just like, shoot me in the
head like. That's how I feel about like
when we go to the store and, or like Starbucks or something and
there's a, you know, sometimes there'll be an elderly person in
front of us who's very sweet andother times they'll be like
(12:19):
really fucking asshole to assholes to the people working
there. And it I just, it's like this
weird crab ass sense of entitlement.
I don't know. I'm certainly not painting the
picture that all older people have a problem.
That's not the case. But like there is a specific
group. There's a specific group.
(12:41):
Yeah, I think not all old peopleare created equal and not all
children are created equal. And sometimes they blend.
Those Venn diagrams blend together at times.
Yeah, Amen, Amen. I heard about something new
today at work that I did not know was a thing.
(13:03):
And it sounds like, I think it'sa very cool thing to do on
paper, but it kind of sounds like our worst nightmare maybe.
OK. A friend that I work with is on
the side. They also DJ and I had, I was on
a meeting and we were all talking like oh, how's the how's
(13:24):
the weekend looking for everyoneblah blah, blah.
And she said oh, it's going to OK.
I have a DJ gig this weekend. It's a group baby shower at the
YMCA. What?
She's DJ ING a group baby shower, so there's going to be
52 families doing their baby shower at the same time.
(13:48):
Why? What?
Hey. Now, no.
I think the idea is to promote community.
And also it's like, if you can'tafford to throw one, this is
kind of the solution for fun. Whatever, but my goodness.
What do you mean if you can't afford to throw one?
What are we including in baby showers?
They're not like $1000 parties. Don't people just come over to
(14:12):
your house and do a potluck? I mean, I guess my point, I
guess my point is like, I'm surethere's some pure intention
behind this and I respect it at the same time.
Families is insane. At the same time, you will never
see me at 1 and I we've talked about this before, but I don't,
I believe I have never been to ababy shower, I believe.
(14:33):
What is the cost to not go? Like I would literally pay what?
What amount of money would you pay to not go to that?
At least a couple 100 bucks. What do you think?
I think I would pay up to $1000 to not to not go to that.
Like that sounds so horrible. It does. 50. 252. 52.
(14:58):
Honey, Oh my God. And for some reason, I don't
know why I thought of this, but it reminded me of because at one
of these, you can imagine there are moms and dads who are
expecting to have kids. There are families of moms and
dads expecting to have kids. There are friends of there's a
(15:20):
lot of parents that are friends with those parents that are,
that are present. And it reminded me in a way, and
I know this doesn't really make sense, but it kind of reminded
me of move in day at college because there are it's a swarm
of fucking parents everywhere. You're fine.
I'm trying to find a thing that has to do exactly with what
(15:41):
you're saying. OK, it's a swarm of parents
everywhere and kids who don't want their parents to be there
stressing out. And the parents are making it
about them and not the kids. And like, that is the last time
I think I can remember because you know, you like meet your
roommate and their parents come in and their parents are more
stressed about them moving in than they are.
And like just a lot of lot of mom and dad energy at a group
(16:04):
baby shower. I would.
Think and everyone like it's very important to them.
So everyone's tensions are high.And so and also what I was just
looking for is pregnant ladies comment section.
(16:25):
It's like crazy shit you did while you were pregnant like
while you had hormones or whatever.
And the comment section was insane and I'm trying to find it
and I thought I sent it to you today.
OK here it is. Told my husband not to look at
(16:45):
me because he was making me nauseous.
It's just stuff like if this is what is happening on a regular
day, imagine a 52 person baby shower.
Like absolutely unhinged. Here's another one.
I had an air bubble in my ice cream and emailed Ben and
Jerry's corporate sobbing and they sent me a full gift basket
(17:09):
of baby stuff. Before the Mexican pizza
returned to Taco Bell. I would regularly sob at 3:00 AM
and write them stern emails to make it return before my due
date. Unhinged, but it's back so
you're welcome. The Taco Bell Mexican pizza.
(17:30):
Some of these are just about fast food.
So I'm going oh woke my husband up from a dead sleep bawling
because he hadn't made me the PBand J sandwich that I dreamt
about. Then after he did make me one, I
cried harder because it wasn't spaghetti on hand.
(17:51):
It's. Great.
Thought too much about the opening scene of Finding Nemo
and started crying. Cried so hard I threw up all
over myself. OK.
I printed off divorce papers andstarted filling them out because
my husband didn't get me Reese's.
(18:12):
I had never asked for the Reese's.
I bawled because I made waffles for everyone and mine fell on
the floor. But even when my husband tried
to give me his, I made mine better than everyone else's so
it wasn't good enough. OK, anyways, these are all
(18:33):
unhinged but it's like picture like the hormones of 52 women in
one room. That's a lot.
It's a lot and a bunch of dads dadding out too, you know,
because a lot of showers are mixed gender now like.
And then just other yeah and other children running around
(18:57):
and whatever. Just.
It sounds like something I got invited to, sort of.
I got invited recently again. I'm questioning if any of my
friends actually understand or know me as a person.
But one of my friends invited meto their child's birthday party
at a children's Aquatic Center and her pitch was that her other
(19:22):
friends with children were coming and bringing their kids
and that I should come too so I could hang out with her.
In the quote, pea filled water while their children played
around. No.
First of all, if there's a diaper in the pool, I'm not in
the pool. Do we understand?
(19:43):
I think that's a good rule to live by.
Agreed. I don't want your pee and poopy
diaper near my body. I don't want the water that's
touching your asshole touching my asshole.
I don't. Also, why would I be invited to
this weird party when I'm the only one that doesn't have a kid
invited so that I'm just the weird girl without a kid?
(20:06):
It's like, I don't want to say it's creepy, but like it is like
going to a dog park. Without a dog?
Yeah. Yeah.
And you know what it's like? It's like going to a dog park
without a dog and sitting on theground because the dogs at the
dog park pee and poop all over the ground.
(20:27):
And you know who pees and poops in an Aquatic Center pool for
children? The kids.
Yeah, I mean, I don't even like going to a public pool with that
many adults. Because the adults are going to
public I it has ruined like water parks for me because I'm
realizing that there's essentially scabies floating
(20:49):
around you. There was one time we went to a
public pool, I think was it in Palm Springs, and we were
sitting in there and like this, this big wad of like foam
floated towards us because it was like the runoff of
everybody's sunscreen and urine and all that.
(21:10):
And it was all adults and it wasstill disgusting.
Only adults. This was an adult only place and
it was vile. I can't even, no, I'm not going
to go in with kids. I mean, the kids are the ones
that at the public pools, they shut the pool down because
there's a turd in there. Yeah, I can't do it.
So I just said well first of all, I am out of town for it so
(21:33):
I didn't even have to lie. But like I think if I wasn't out
of town I would have just been like lol no.
Yeah, it's also just like I you,you guys have your fun.
I'm not going to add fun to that.
No, I almost was thinking of being like, I don't think I
would be a fun addition to this party.
(21:54):
Like I will send you a gift. Like I can't be there, sorry.
I think that there's nothing wrong with that.
Go with God. I think I'm getting better at
saying no to stuff. You are, so that's good.
You definitely are. I'm proud of you.
Thanks, I'm getting better at quitting and saying no to you
(22:18):
are. It's true.
You're you're. This is like the at least the
second Aquatic Center thing thatyou've turned down.
If I didn't quit today, I would be doing another event in a
parking lot with about 150 children.
So instead I'm I'm recording a podcast at home about not having
(22:41):
children. Much better, Much better.
You know, one of the things I amaddicted to on social media is
Costco deals. And like, there's like, I don't
know, a dozen accounts I follow and they're all independently
run because Costco doesn't even think have their own official
(23:01):
accounts. And basically there are pages of
people just sharing like the best things that they find at
Costco and stuff. Well, everybody's talking about
this week. How they, it's like the age-old
story that the Costco food courthas the hot dog thing for $1.50
and they're never going to raisethe price.
(23:22):
And they've done research and the research shows that like
families will keep their Costco membership just to be able to
come in and get the hot dog thing.
So they're, they're keeping it at that price forever, point
blank period. But they had this thing on the
menu there for a long time that was like a chicken bake, like
essentially a Hot Pocket. Do they not still have it?
(23:44):
They're swapping it out and testing it.
They're testing putting chicken fingers like chicken tenders on
the menu instead 'cause they're like a lot more kids would want
that. It's a way to appeal to
families. It's a great place to have a
group baby shower if if you're so inclined.
I looked at one of these pages, shared a picture of the menu,
(24:10):
and I don't know what's typical,'cause you and I haven't had
chicken tenders in a long time. We haven't had meat in about
over 2 years now. The calorie count on chicken
tenders and fries at Costco. What?
1600 calories. Oh shit, Oh my God, how many
(24:34):
tenders is it? It's like 2 or 3.
Isn't that what you're supposed to eat in a day?
Yeah, I think like 1500 is is what you're supposed to shoot
for the average person. Isn't that nuts?
Shit. So it made me think like, have I
not known that this entire time?Wow.
(24:58):
Damn I don't know. Is it including my sauce?
Like what is it including? I don't know.
And you know, I'm not trying to go on a tear about Costco being
crazy, but like. Well did can you pull that menu
up again? What is the calories on their
pizza? Let's see.
I bet it's worse. Court menu.
(25:19):
I'm willing to say it's worse. The calories on their.
And are we talking one slice? OK, why is it so hard to find a
good picture? I literally.
They're all just blurry. God damn.
OK, a slice of cheese pizza at Costco. 710 calories.
(25:48):
OK. A slice of pepperoni is 650.
How is cheese more? I don't know the the chicken
bake is the thing they're replacing the with the chicken
tenders. 840 calories. OK, and then what about the hot
(26:09):
dog? The hot dog is five.
It says 580 to 850 calories. I don't know why it's such a
range. The hot dog seems like a pretty
consistent meal every time. Basically the health food at
this point considering the menu.Legally good for you.
(26:29):
Jesus, that's kind of crazy. I thought that was nuts.
And now picture a kid taking taking down the whole basket of
chicken tenders and fries. I know it literally made me
think of like the the kids lunchthings and like, you know, when
I was a kid and they would give you the chocolate milk when
stuff at lunch and thinking I don't know how many calories
(26:51):
that was. It was probably terrible for me,
but a lot of families are doing this type of stuff now because
of everything being expensive and gas going up.
Well, what is the cost of the chicken tenders and stuff like I
know the hot dog, OK, I was like, I know the hot dog deal is
still good, but. 699, which I think is like cheaper than if
you go to Wendy's and get chicken tenders or something.
(27:16):
So a lot of people flock into the Costco to get these 2000
calorie chicken tenders. I think that I didn't think
about what a lot of things were before when I.
In the before times. And now, when I think about a
hot dog, things are bleak. It I do agree.
(27:40):
I get kind of nauseous, like if we're really thinking about what
is a hot dog, I don't really know, but when why is it like a
weird brown tube of me I? Couldn't agree more.
I think when you eat. And it's like rubbery.
It's like weird. And it has like a snap to it.
(28:00):
Like I hate this. Because I think what happens is,
and you know, not to go on a like a crazy at this point
nearly vegan trip, but you when you eat meat, you do it like
ignorance is bliss type of vibes, you know?
Well, yeah, you try not to thinkabout it.
And then I am still of the opinion that every time we go
(28:25):
out to eat with people, like it doesn't bother me at all when
other people get meat. Like I'm not sitting there in
judgement, but I the one time that I that it did bother me
recently it was when our one friend ordered was it 1/2
chicken or a whole chicken? It was 1/2 chicken.
(28:47):
Or something and it came out andit looked like the whole, like
it looked like it's a whole bodywith just missing a head.
Yeah. And I was like, oh, I don't like
seeing it in full body form. OK.
I have another question about this because we just looked at a
restaurant the other day that opened down the street and we're
(29:08):
like, well, let's take a look atthe menu, see if they have stuff
we like. It was primarily meat, but one
of the things they had on there was a branzino, and they brought
it out with the head still on it.
And even in a situation where I would eat that, why do I want to
see its head? Why do I want to look into its
dead eyes? Why is that a thing?
(29:29):
Its eyes were still on it and ithad its mouth open.
Like I don't get it, why are we doing this?
Is that supposed to make me think like it?
Oh, it's fresh. Here's the thing, I suppose I
respect it if you're able 'causewe first of all, we've
definitely eaten a whole chickenbefore in whole.
Chicken. Warm or a half chicken or
(29:51):
whatever when you order that. We've absolutely consumed that
before and for some reason it didn't bother me then.
I don't know why I think I respect it more 'cause you're
like, oh, I'm fully aware of what I'm doing and I'm fine with
it. You're like, you're fully like
down. And so if you're able to eat
something that's staring you in the face with the head on,
you're like, yeah, I am doing this and I'm looking at it right
(30:12):
now. I think I need the ability or
needed the ability to disassociate the fact that I was
eating someone's body. You know what I mean.
Yeah, but looking into the dead fish eyes while you eat it, not
something I'm interested in doing.
No at all. I'm good on that.
No, thank you. I don't know.
(30:34):
And then we didn't end up going because we, it just seemed like
all they had. We literally, we literally
didn't go and stayed at home andmade like a bowl of raw
vegetables. I don't know, I think we might
be going off the deep end now and alienating audience.
That's fine. No, what we're saying is we, we
(30:55):
respect the people who can do it.
It just like it. It does.
I completely agree. Like the more time you spend
away from it, the more you're like, wait a second, I don't
know that I want the hot dog. No.
That being said, we went to a Dodger game and got like a fake
hot dog. It was pretty good.
The plant based hot dog I am less concerned because it's just
(31:18):
like soybean based or something.It doesn't like skeeve me out as
much I suppose. I still don't love that it's
just like a brown tube but I cantell myself that it's bean based
(31:40):
and not be like this is someone's intestines or
something. Sure.
Yeah, I get what you mean. Is that what's in them?
I don't it they're you know, it's a it's a sack of vegetables
that they just, you know, satchel all up for you so you
can eat it. That's all I know.
(32:02):
Speaking of food though, you said something about before we
were started recording somethingabout a Nerds lawsuit.
Yeah, there's like a class action lawsuit and or like a
situation going on because I guess it's 99 nerds or something
(32:23):
or you're hold on, let me make sure I'm not misquoting nerds
lawsuit, but there's arsenic in nerds.
In the candy. Nerd yes, correct.
So there is children consuming nerds obviously is their main
(32:47):
demographic I would think and nerds OK as of February 2026.
So we're a little late to this news.
Sorry guys. Multiple class action lawsuits
accuse Ferrara candy company They do Nerds, Laffy Taffy,
Sweet Tarts and Trolley Gummies that they they're suing because
(33:09):
they contain dangerous undisclosed levels of arsenic.
Testing cited in the suit suggests small amounts of these
candies may exceed a child safe annual arsenic consumption
limit. So a small 1.5 oz box of Nerds
can exceed the safe annual limitfor a child for arsenic
(33:35):
consumption. OK, how long has this been the
case? Also another named item was
another complaint noted that eating 4 pieces of banana
flavored laffy taffy could also exceed annual toxic limits.
Oh my. God, OK.
(33:55):
So if you take down a Halloween basket of candy, you're like
you've consumed more arsenic than you should in 10 years.
I my when I was a kid. Isn't any arsenic too much
arsenic? Well.
See, that's, that's where we open up a whole can of worms
because there's a whole like, oh, this is a safe amount of
(34:18):
insects that can be in a chocolate bar and like there's
all kinds of stuff like that. Mark my words and don't and I'll
never be caught saying this again out loud.
I would rather eat a spider thanarsenic.
Sure. It's natural in my candy.
What? What I don't.
(34:38):
OK, so first of all, the literally the two things you
just mentioned were probably thetwo candies I ate the most as a
kid. Well, this explains a lot.
I'm not exaggerating, this explains a lot of the laffy
taffy flavors. Banana was my favorite.
EW, it was my least favorite. Of of the trick and treating or
(34:58):
trick or treating candies. Nerds were top three for me.
Nerds and smarties. The nerds clusters.
How many nerds are on one cluster like?
40 at least no? How do you think?
The small clusters like 10. Maybe 10.
Well, OK, 10. I just think like it's truly so
(35:23):
insane that they've that they'reallowed to operate and I think
This is why we don't see these types of candies in Europe or
whatever because they're not cleared by their Food and Drug
Administration. Yeah, it's the same thing with
the dyes and all that stuff. There's arsenic in our candy.
(35:45):
It's imagine if that was the case of the candy.
Imagine what like breakfast cereals were like when we were
kids. Yeah, there was no Magic Spoon
Protein cereal. It was it was.
The first and only ingredient ishigh fructose corn syrup and red
dye 40. Yeah, it was like, you know,
(36:07):
Lucky Charms is not going to have, it's not going to be
organic. No, I just am.
It's crazy how actually we're just eating rat poison.
Yeah, I mean, God, it's a whole like, I, I don't know about you,
but when I was a kid, I had like, if Lucky Charms was the
(36:28):
brand name I was eating the bagged cereal version of it that
they used to sell at Walmart called like Lucky Stars.
And if like Lucky Charms was bad, you got to think that Lucky
Stars was pumping more arsenic in there or something.
I don't know. That's crazy.
Truly. Insane.
That's crazy. I do love a nerd though.
(36:49):
I don't know. This will stop me from eating
it. OK, they'll they'll remove the
arsenic and find a way to maintain the flavor.
Once a year, yeah, they'll startselling packages that say
arsenic free. It's science.
As I mentioned, things are really expensive right now.
Gas is high everywhere in the country.
Families are freaking out on what to do for Memorial Day
(37:11):
because it's a big driving holiday, so a lot of people are
not going places. And there's been a number of
promotions this week of gas stations giving away gas.
There was a movie that's coming out this weekend with Keke
Palmer. I forget the name of it.
They did like a promotion with aShell station in LA or some
(37:31):
other gas station where it was like the 1st 150 cars that came,
they'd fill it up for free. And there's been, there was, I
saw one in the news today of a gas station that I think it was
just the gas station itself was like, we're going to give it
away to the 1st 5050 people thatcome.
And I thought it was so funny because I mean, it's crazy that
(37:53):
the line was insane, people hoping to get free gas.
But when the news interviewed this lady, they were asking her
like, you know, why is this so important to you?
She's like, I'm a mom. I have a family.
Gas is like really hard and expensive for us right now.
We have a lot of kids to feed and they asked her like what
part of town she came from. She drove like 100 miles to go
(38:17):
to go to the gas station to get the free gas.
So to get home, she has to use all of the free gas.
Yes. And, and I was like, wait a
second. I never really thought about
that. And then I looked at other
videos and it's the same. It's a very similar story.
People are saying like, oh, I got to go to this part of town
(38:38):
today to go get the free gas andit's like you're driving you're
you're driving and using a quarter tank, half a tank of gas
to go get the free gas. So you're.
Saving what, like $20? Maybe $5.
In some cases losing money. I was like what the fuck are
(38:59):
people doing? Oh no.
It was insane. Insane behavior.
Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, I thought that was a
funny thing. OK, a couple things to go over
before we get out of here. We talked about the DINK Social
app several times. We talked about it when it first
(39:20):
came out and our prediction was like, it kind of seems like this
is going to be a place for swingers.
Well, somebody went to Reddit onthe DINK subreddit, double
income, no kids, and they said that they joined it.
This post says my wife and I joined the DINK social app about
a month ago and I've really enjoyed our experience so far.
(39:40):
We have been to a total of 2 events and even hosted 2 events
and I just wanted to share for everyone that's interested that
we've started forming some good bonds with other Dinks and we're
super happy that we joined. We reached out to the founders
of the app and will actually be meeting up with them soon on our
trip to Europe. OK, I've discovered there's
(40:05):
another reason we should be on this app, because then we could
stay with people across the world and get free
accommodations in other countries.
See, and that's kind of why I wanted to bring it up because
we've been talking a lot about international travel and we've
been watching this HGTV show that that has bargain dream
(40:27):
homes like in Spain and stuff. And I'm thinking there might be
an Ave. here. So they didn't mention any weird
sex stuff. They did not mention any weird
sex stuff and there was no weirdlike winky emoji in it or
anything. Like that any eggplants or?
Water, no eggplants, no mention of like flowers, some people or
(40:50):
roses. That's what the code word for,
you know, paying for sex, I think.
So there's nothing like that on there.
Or pineapples. No pineapples.
Upside down pineapples. No.
So I think it's a legitimately positive interview or review of
the DINK Social app. So maybe one day we try it out
(41:10):
and we end up in Europe. I don't know.
That's. I thought it was worth
mentioning. I assume step one, join the app,
Step 2 make friends and immediately stay with them in
Europe. Yeah, exactly.
You nailed it. Wait, is it international or
it's just the founders of the app are in Europe?
(41:31):
That's a good question. Like it's only.
Follow up. Yeah, we'll ask.
We'll ask. It's funny though, because I
thought of, I thought of, or I saw that and and wanted to bring
it up partially because I tried something earlier this week to
like branch out a bit to it's kind of on the same vein of like
(41:51):
creating community, meeting people who are similar minded,
blah, blah, blah. We went to this Wellness place a
couple weeks ago for a sound bath.
You go there semi regularly and sound bath, very cool, very
healing. I enjoyed it a lot.
And when we were there, I was invited to come back for men's
(42:11):
Circle, which they decided to doa couple weeks later.
And this was past Monday night. So I was like, yeah, I'm going
to go. I'm going to put myself out
there a bit. Been looking for more like
community with other like mindedmen.
I would say I'm not a person wholike Bros out a bunch goes to
like a fellas let's go like get beers and golf.
(42:36):
So I went and I showed up and itwas me and the owner of the
place. So men men community be small.
We we were talking for like 10 or 15 minutes and then this
other guy showed up who was justabout 80 years old and he had A
(42:57):
tag around his neck that said ask me about my book.
And he proceeded to try and sellhis book, his self published
book do. You remember the name of the
book. I don't, and that's my deepest
regret. That is my deepest regret.
I should have written it down, but I don't think it's available
anywhere because I think it was self published in the early 90s.
(43:21):
And it turned into like the exact thing that I was looking
to avoid, which was let's bro out and, and let's talk about
how hard it is with the women fellas.
And I was like, Oh my God, this is going downhill.
And then he decided to start talking about everybody's penis
sizes and started going down theroad of, well, this is a natural
(43:44):
thing we do. We look at each other's penises.
Did he take off his pants at anypoint?
He didn't, but I'll be honest, Ihalf expected it.
You were like, uh oh, it's coming.
I have expected it because he kept like skirting around the
fact that he's into dudes and I'm like, hey, that's totally
(44:04):
acceptable brother. But like, there's other avenues
for that. Right.
We don't have to get out of measuring tape and like, look at
each other's Dicks, Yeah. Yeah, and it was, it was
definitely teetering on that dare because he mentioned like
high school a bunch, He mentioned locker rooms a bunch.
He mentioned this trip he went on in Thailand where he like
exposed himself to a bunch of people and they all compared
(44:27):
size. And I'm like, OK, there's a
theme here. You've we've we've talked about
it. We start talking about something
else. You brought it back to penises
there. We I understand what's happening
you. Had shown interest, he would
have shown you his. Penis.
He absolutely would have like ifI would say, oh man, I get it.
I don't think it's that big of adeal here.
(44:47):
Like let me show you mine. He would definitely pull his
pants down without a doubt insane.
So anyway, pretty much the opposite of what I was looking
for. So my point is maybe I will try
signing us up for DINK Social and.
I need like old men to stop being so fucking weird.
Like I, I'm begging there was, Iwas running at the park this
(45:09):
week and I was just going in like it was a, it's a circle
dirt path. So I was going in circles and
going opposite of me was this woman with her baby stroller and
she had an infant in the stroller and she was just
pushing it in a circle, but going the opposite way of me.
And a man walking by himself stopped her and like shoved his
(45:35):
head and he was like, can I see your baby?
And shoved his head in the bassinet part like he like
shoved his head to look at her baby.
And I was, I stopped running to see if she needed help.
And she just seemed like so taken aback like this random
strange man wants to see my baby.
(45:57):
Like OK. But she for some reason let it
happen. I thought motherly instincts
would kick in and she'd be like no get away from my stroller.
But she just like let him see the baby.
But it's like, hey, let's just all know that it's weird to do
that. Like don't ask to see people's
(46:18):
baby and shove your head in their face and like.
And you know what? If that would have ended
compliment, No. And if that would have ended in
the dude getting pepper sprayed,Totally acceptable.
Totally acceptable if that's what you need to do.
Like green light. Yeah, it was just so bizarre and
I the way I actually like, stopped my run because I was
(46:41):
like, this is weird. It's yeah.
It's also 'cause it's like the optics.
The optics are just horrendous. It's like how stereotypical
you're creeping on a mom in a park.
Yeah, it's. So weird.
Yeah, this is, see, this is the type of thing I was hoping we
could talk about in men's group and said it was Dicks.
(47:05):
It was a lot of women be shopping and my Dick is how big.
And in my day, we used to be able to, you know, do these
things. Women wouldn't say.
Now they're mechanics. Isn't that crazy?
OK, Anyway, we live to to die. Another day.
I'll find an outlet somewhere. It's probably just not there.
(47:29):
Yeah. Anything else, babe?
Oh, certainly not. Well, hope you all have a good
week, hope you all have a fun time if you're going to a group
baby shower, but you will not find us there.
Yeah, have fun in whatever public pool.
(47:50):
Hell on earth, bye.
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