#6 | The Holidays with the DINKs

Today we talk about the holidays on the way as a DINK couple, share some fun questions from TikTok, and more!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
There's a new term buzzing on the Internet, Dick.
Dual income? No, kid, you probably have an
opinion on these people or an opinion on people who have an
opinion on these people. America's birth rate has hit its
lowest point in more than a century.
Some are blaming it on infertility.
Others say the state of the world is causing couples to
think twice about having children.

(00:21):
Childless marriages could be a good thing if they were a result
of God's sovereign providential work.
Oh my God, can't even hear you. They like avocado toast and
brunches out and going to plays and having sweet vacations.
Yeah, you're probably super selfish.
Kids are better than brunch. Wrong.
And then there's another group of young couples that wants the

(00:43):
lifestyle of childless households and the lifestyle it
brings with it. Thanks.
Welcome to The DINK Side, the podcast about life lapse and
living child free. We are a double income, no kids
couple navigating the UPS, downsand hilarious in betweens of
choosing a different path in a world that will not stop asking.
So when are you having kids? The answer may surprise you.

(01:07):
It's never. Today on the podcast, we're
going to talk about the holidays.
The holidays with the Dinks, which, when you think about it,
could be the next Hallmark moviethat hits shelves.
It's a good title. That you think?
My God, yeah. Christmas with the Dinks.
Yeah, it's kind of it's giving Christmas with the crank.

(01:30):
Yeah, that's what I thought. I think that we should.
I mean, there's a if somebody else does it, we, we trademarked
it right here on this podcast, so.
Yeah, if you that's our idea. If someone else, Yeah, yeah, F
right off. This is our idea.
Copyright infringement. Holy shit.
Yeah, I think it's a good idea, but we're going to talk holidays

(01:50):
because this is the last episodebefore that kind of kicks off.
Thanksgiving is literally like 2weeks away, less than two weeks
away, which is insane. And then we get right into
Christmas and we're going to getinto all that.
But first I wanted to start off by saying I don't know what is
going on in the world. I don't know if February was a

(02:12):
super hot month to have sex. Why is everybody having kids?
It feels like it every. We know so many people, so many
people that are having babies and I'm not shitting on them.
We support you. But what happened?
Everyone is having a baby right now.
I. Think.
I mean, it's Valentine's Day, right?

(02:34):
The day that people, I guess that's.
True, I guess. You said what happened.
In the day that people do it, yeah.
I mean, you're not wrong. And maybe.
That's the case. They should rebrand as what,
Valentine's Day? It should be the day that people
do it and make babies. Just that, just the day that

(02:54):
people do it. The day that people do it.
I do think it's a combination ofa couple things.
If I had to guess, I think that there's some people having
babies that were like waiting for COVID to end and all of that
because we just got out of that somewhat recently.
But I don't know, it does feel like it's a very popular time to

(03:15):
pop out a kid. And I think it's odd, too.
We're in our 30s and we now are in the space in the zone where
we like know people that have had kids and have gotten
divorced and are already on liketheir second part of life,
second marriage with kids from the first marriage.
And it's, it's trippy when we know these people and have these

(03:38):
people in our lives. And we are like, do you want to
go to dinner tonight? You know, it's, it's weird.
Yeah, we have to like plan weeksin advance and then give them an
opportunity to get a babysitter or whatever.
I'm finding it hard to even grasp because I am in this

(03:59):
acting class now and we're coming into like circumstances
where you have to imagine like fake people.
And they were pitching the idea of like, me having a fake child
and I was like, I can't do it. It's too far.
I can't imagine it. This is a fantastic I'm so glad

(04:21):
you brought this up because I have been meaning to ask you
this and I keep forgetting. How do you think you're going
to? Because I do.
I think it's going to happen. How do you think you're going to
be whenever you play a role where you have to play a mother
or play a role where you're playing a pregnant woman?
Or you might even have to do a scene one day where you're
giving birth? Well, we both know that I nailed

(04:42):
that because I did a self tape once for General Hospital where
I was actively giving birth as as hold on, wait for it, the
mother Mary, the Virgin Mary or whatever.
Remember I. Forgot it was like part of it.
It was like a General Hospital audition where I was like fully
giving birth and I think I fucking nailed it.
Did I book the role? No.

(05:03):
But did did I? Did I do great?
Yes. Did my manager at the time send
back notes and say I should redoit because it didn't seem like I
was in enough pain? Sure.
But did I also recently get booked for a YouTube sketch
where I was giving birth again? Yes.
Hell, yeah. So see, I think what happened

(05:24):
was the quality of acting was sohigh that it wasn't soap opera
appropriate. Do you know what I'm saying,
'cause like when you watch a soap opera, very corny, very
campy. You were way too hyper
realistic. Yeah, and they were like, oh, we
don't actually want good acting.Yeah, I get it.

(05:45):
So thank you for asking. I think that this is, you know,
shocker. This is what I'm going to have
to do. Last night, actually in my
acting class, we had a substitute teacher that's a non
binary person. And they were explaining to us
that in the work when they took the class, they couldn't connect
to situations about like them being a mother or having a kid.

(06:09):
And they, they would substitute their dog in their head because
you can do that. You can just pretend you're
thinking about your child, but be thinking about your dog.
And I'm so that's what I'll do. Now simple, can one, I think
that makes perfect sense, but can one get postpartum

(06:29):
depression from a fake acting pregnancy?
Because I'm concerned that it might happen.
Like I, I, I know that it's all pretend, but I fear that like,
you'll go through it and then come home and be like, did I
actually give birth? I think postpartum is a chemical
imbalance that happens after birth in your brain.

(06:50):
As a result of hearing it, maybe.
Oh good, I the cat is in here and he just like fully blocked
my face on the camera with his asshole so.
That's cool, that's fine. Imagine if that was a baby.
That would be way worse. It would be way worse 'cause it
was also be screaming. I also had rehearsal today and

(07:17):
was shown by my acting partner avideo of pranks.
Like a prank video of people waking each other up by pouring
a bucket of ice water. Have you seen these?
I have seen these. It's first of all, it's insane
and it's terrifying. Imagine waking up like that.

(07:37):
Second of all, I think you woulddie, I think, if you woke me up
like that. I OK, OK, first of all, yeah,
these videos give me so much anxiety for for multiple
reasons. Number one, I can't imagine
waking up like that. Number two, I would like, of
course my reaction would be likebecause I would think I'd be

(08:00):
drowning. You're waking up in waters all
around you #3 immediately. Every time I see one I instantly
go to the place of like you mother fucker, you ruin the
floor. The neighbor below us is fucked.
I'm going to have to call. Yeah, you ruined the furniture.
I'm going to have to call the insurance company now.
You son of a bitch. I would be so pissed, so pissed

(08:22):
if somebody did that. Oh, completely.
But then I was like, the only reason to ever do this prank is
to your kid. If they're like if they've been
bad. Like if you have a tween boy
who's just like a shithead, I could so see pouring a bucket of
water on the child. I don't know, is that considered

(08:42):
abuse? No, I mean it's all, you know
what it it's perfect for like a camp prank because you're
outside and you can't really ruin anything.
And that is where pranks happen a lot.
So not like a parent child relationship.
I mean, I mean you could surprise your kid at camp and
pour water on on their face or something, I don't know.

(09:05):
Is it considered abuse to prank your own child?
I mean, I think people, I think there are some Youtubers that
have gone to jail for it becauseat a certain point it's
traumatic if you do it. I almost said the right way.
But if you go so far, it can be traumatic.
But like harmless things, like, you know, what I used to do to

(09:26):
my dad was put shaving cream on his doorknob and put things in,
put things in front of his walking path.
So at night he would trip, goingto the bathroom, things like
that. I feel like if you do those to
your kids, it's like, oh, it's kind of funny and silly and
whatever. But if you're doing something
like mean, I don't know, it's hard.

(09:47):
It's hard to know where the lineis.
A reminder to stay humble to them because I feel like kids,
especially young boys, get like real big egos and I feel like
that would be my way of reminding them that they ain't
shit, you know? See, OK, I often think about
this like we do not want children.

(10:09):
It's very well established. Hello, listen to the podcast
you're listening to right now. That being said, I think that I
think that we would be great parents and I think that you
would be a really good and fun mom.
Like I really do think that you would be.
It's not our choice in life. We're not going to go down that
path. But it's weird because I do

(10:31):
think like you would, you would prank our kids.
You would have fun with it. Yeah, thanks.
It's such a weird compliment, but thank you.
I know, I know it doesn't reallymake sense, but it it is.
I do feel that way. It's funny you mentioned the
pranks though, because the pranks have come up quite a bit
in conversation in our householdbecause and I don't think we

(10:53):
talked about this in the podcast, did we?
I don't think so, but you keep saying that you don't want to
prank me because you think that I'll get super raving pissed and
like not forgive you. And I'm saying I think it would
be fine as long as you filmed itand put it on TikTok.
And I knew it was for the bit. Do you think that pranks would

(11:16):
make or break our marriage? Is the question.
I think it's really, it really depends.
And like I think the prank can'tbe too mean.
I also don't want someone like now that we share a wall again,
I don't want someone to call thecops.

(11:38):
Sure, that is a factor for sure.We can't get the law involved,
you know. Yeah, so I I get that.
But they're like here's I'm in atough position on this one
because. Oh oh.
Every no, I am I am because every single day I swear to God

(11:58):
I see 20 opportunities to prank you, scare you, startle you and
I I'm like, should I do it? And I think no one of the one of
my go to is for years. Used to be if I'm driving and
other people in the car are on their phones, I would slam on
the brakes and scream. You've done that to me.
I know and it fucking did not gowell.

(12:19):
I, I know. Well, I brought that up today.
I brought that up today of my, after I saw the prank videos and
I was like, oh, I've been pranked before.
My husband slammed on the brakesand screamed and I punched him
in the fucking arm. I'm a I'm a violent, I'm afraid.
Of that's what I'm afraid to be honest.

(12:41):
You're you're equal opportunity though 'cause you also did the
same thing when I proposed to you.
You punched me in the arm. Yeah.
I think anytime I'm surprised, Ithink my reaction to being
surprised is to hit things. It's either to hit things or
it's weird. It's like you hit things or if
I'm injured, you laugh. Those are your two responses.

(13:02):
What do you mean if you're injured?
I laugh. I feel like that has happened a
couple times. You just bleed a lot, so it's
like you're running thing. It's like you're.
I like that's my running thing is I bleed a lot.
Yeah, so it's like, oh, there hegoes again, bleeding a lot.

(13:23):
There he is bleeding. But no, I wish.
I'm going to. I'm going to try sometime in the
next couple of weeks, especiallyaround the holidays because
we're going to be spending more time together.
Obviously, I, I'm going to try afew prank videos on you.
So I'm just saying it now so that you can get in that
headspace because it's coming and maybe that will soften the

(13:46):
blow, you know? What I mean, this is so ominous.
It's so ominous because now I'm going to be, I'm going to be
sleeping with one eye open. I'm not gonna.
Here's what I won't do. I can make this promise because
I think. This is ground rules ground.
Rules, yeah, nothing while you're sleeping, nothing while
you're sleeping that is like to me that's that is how somebody

(14:09):
dies you know like that is how it gets violent by accident so.
I also don't want the the pets like in harm's way if like if
they're the dogs are with me, I don't want to accidentally like
drop something on them. Yeah.
So no, no, nothing while you're asleep, no animal involvement
whatsoever unless it's like, well, no, no, never mind.

(14:35):
I would also say I'm not going to do anything that damages the
property that we live in or our personal property or if I'm.
Limiting yourself now? No.
No, come on, paint within the lines.
Everybody has to do it. And then the other thing I would
say is if I make a mess, I it is, it can be cleaned up and it

(14:58):
does not 'cause permanent damage.
How about that? Sure.
Yeah, pretty. So I'm excited and also scared.
I think I'm more scared than I am excited, but maybe we'll get
something fun out of it. It's it's funny that you're
talking about pranking me and out of the two of us you have
more fear in your heart. I have way more fear like I but

(15:20):
this has always been the case when I was a kid if I did
anything like tee peeing or thisone time we put post it notes
all over my friend's car. I was always so nervous.
A friend of mine in in right after college.
He he used to do social experiment videos on YouTube was

(15:41):
really good at it. His his big one was like a 50
foot selfie stick that he used to go to intersections.
It put through people's cars while they were at a stoplight
with like a GoPro on it. Really, really funny videos.
That's fun. Does he still do it?
He doesn't. He's a rabbi now.
He moved to Israel so made a different life choice.

(16:02):
But I, I, there was a couple that he asked me to like, come
and do with him. And then he stopped asking me
because the footage was unusablebecause I was shaking so much
holding the camera. Oh my God.
I used to get nervous. I would get so effing nervous.

(16:22):
Like it's probably the most nervous I've ever been in my
entire life. I'm not joking.
That's so funny. I would do these things too, but
I think I like Thrive Under Pressure because oh, for sure.
What? My roommate and I in college
would do social experiments and film them and stuff.
Like we did the Thriller dance on the top of a parking garage

(16:45):
like a flash mob kind of. And then we Did you know that
how food courts at malls used tohave pianos?
Yes. We she would like she knew how
to play piano. OK, so I would film her like
going to play the piano at the food court, like she would just
start playing even though you'renot allowed to if you don't work

(17:06):
there anyways, things like that.I'll, I'll try to think of some
more, but I would, we would do that all the time.
That's great. See, that was before it got like
really off the rails and kids were like throwing milk jugs in
grocery stores and stuff. Like it became destructive at a
certain point. But that was like back when it
was really new and fun and harmless.

(17:28):
And anyway, I say all that to say I will prank you at some
point between now and New Year'sEve, and it's going to be great,
so sleep well, you know, so. You already have the prank
picked out. I mean, I think I need to come
up with at least one, like supercreative one.

(17:49):
The others are just going to be on the fly, you know?
OK. Like you're down the hallway and
I see the perfect opportunity tojump out and startle you, you
know what I'm saying? Sure, but again, I don't want
the cops called. The cops won't be called at
least. I mean maybe after the second or

(18:09):
third time, but not. Not the first time.
Everybody will think it's. Old people into cardiac arrest.
They can't hear us. They go to bed at like 5.
They'll be It'll be fine. They'll be asleep.
I know, imagine being old and being woke woken up to
screaming. I don't they have the weirdest
bedtime. They go to bed at like, like I
said, 5 and I don't see them until like 8:00 AM.

(18:30):
They're just always sleeping. So I'm not worried about it.
It'll be good, it'll be fun. We're inserting whimsy into our
life. It is an exciting thing.
I do want to talk the holidays, but before I get there, I.
This is what happens when you don't have kids to complain
about in their teachers. This is the hot topic in our
household this week. What is with this Instagram

(18:51):
update? Oh my God, it's so it hasn't
happened to me yet. I'm scared and afraid because
it's going to ruin my life. So is it not rolled out to
everyone? Is it just in?
Beta this is what they do. They slowly roll it out to
people like you know, 20,000 people at a time.
It just hit my account and they moved all the goddamn buttons.

(19:13):
So like when you put a post up, you know how it was on the
bottom middle before, now that is top left.
Now the search bar is in a different place.
Now the reels button is in a different place.
Messages, messages are in a. They're like it all connects to
Facebook and it's all on the weird button in a different

(19:34):
place. Why do they do this?
It's so frustrating. It wasn't broken.
What are we trying to fix? You're actually just making.
You're just actually just pissing people off. 100 percent,
100%. It's so irritating and it makes
me excited because Vine is coming back and I am about to

(19:57):
become a Vine star. I missed the boat the first
time, I'm going to do it the second time now I'm ready. 6
seconds of glory. It's it's going to be my lane.
I can't wait. And best of all, no AI content
allowed so it's all going to be human.
Really stuff. Yes, I think it's it's a great
idea. It's a great idea.

(20:17):
Who bought it? Jack Dorsey, who I, he had, he
had maybe Twitter the first timearound.
I forget what his deal is. I'll be honest, I'm not good at
remembering those things, but I'm stoked.
I mean, I loved Vine. I loved it.
Those are my glory days. I know I'm ready.
Did you make Vine content before?

(20:41):
Oh yeah, Oh yeah. I had some good ones.
I had some good shit on there. Did you go, as they say, viral?
I did a few times, yeah. I had some vines that did well.
All right, I'm excited for you. Are you going to put your prank
videos with me on Vine? See, that's kind of what I'm
thinking because I don't. You don't need a long prank

(21:02):
video, you just need the jump scare on the reaction.
And honestly, all of my favoriteones.
I've shown you compilations of people getting pranked and
scared and stuff. They're all like little bites,
little 2 second bites. It's going to be perfect.
I cannot wait. Welcome back, Vine, welcome
back. Thank God.
Should we talk holidays? Sure.

(21:23):
Holidays with the Dinks. That's the name of our Hallmark
movie. This is going to be our first
Thanksgiving doing a vegan loaf.Yeah, I was going to actually
talk about that because I don't.I've never done one.
We've never done one. If you have a recommendation,
please send it our way. I could see it being tasty or
absolutely vile. Is it?

(21:47):
Made out of tofu. That's what I don't get.
There's there's definitely tofu,there's tofurkies, which are
tofu. Like Turkey logs?
I don't. No, no, no.
That sounds bad, no? It does kind of sound bad,
right? I don't want a fucking Turkey
flavored lump like. Well, I don't know if it's

(22:09):
Turkey flavored as much as it islike it's supposed to replicate.
You know, when everybody else issitting at the table and they
have their slice of Turkey and they have their gravy and mashed
potatoes and cranberry sauce, that allows you to kind of fit
in. So I think it slices like a
Turkey, but I don't think it tastes like a Turkey.
I hope not. I hope not, but it's interesting

(22:32):
to think about the holidays because a lot of people at this
time of year get into family mode, as do we, but we don't
have to bring the kids around. And sometimes that looks
different, sometimes it doesn't.Sometimes people have the same
traditions. Kids are no kids.
But for us, it's kind of different every year.
And I think that that is one thing I actually really enjoy.

(22:56):
Like, there was a ton of traditions as a kid that I
liked, but as you get older, you're like, are we doing this
because we enjoy it or are we doing this because we did it
last year? You know?
And I think that's one reason Thanksgiving was always, I mean,
I loved Christmas. I always loved Christmas.

(23:17):
I still do. But I think Thanksgiving was at
the top of my list because, yeah, the food is good, but we
kind of did something different every year.
There were years where we would drive and see family in Florida.
There were years where we had people over to our house.
There were years where we went to other people's houses.
So it was kind of fun because itwas a little different every
year. The one year that I was not

(23:40):
particularly fond of, we went toFlorida and visited family.
And this aunt of mine, who I think was a step aunt,
technically, she had everybody over for Thanksgiving dinner and
she did something that I have never seen before, which is she
made the exact amount of food for the exact amount of people

(24:02):
attending. And in my mind, I'm like.
Portioned it out. Yeah, so everybody got one
plate. OK, but what if someone takes a
scoop that's bigger than the person next to them?
Did she serve at Cafeteria Lane style?
Yes, she did. She portioned it all out.

(24:23):
She handed out plates that were perfectly portioned.
And the best thing was my one ofmy cousins showed up that she
didn't know was coming and she had no food for him.
There was legit no food. And so he had to, like, take
little pieces from everybody else's plate.
That's so awkward. I mean, I guess I respect the no

(24:46):
leftovers game or like the no waste, that's great, but it's
like to the extent that you don't even have one extra plate
of food is crazy. It's insane.
Also, a lot of people like eating leftovers.
People, that is. That's exactly my point, is that
Thanksgiving is like the leftovers holiday.

(25:07):
There's a whole tradition of thenext day making those
Thanksgiving sandwiches with theall the fixins in there.
And so it just seemed like so whack that that was the case.
But. Honestly, before and after being
a pescetarian, I've always been in the game for the sides.

(25:31):
Same 100% so. I don't feel like a sense of
lack not eating the main meat part because I've always mashed
potatoes are the top of my hierarchy and that's fine.
What do you mean really? I'm surprised by that.
Pardon me. Yeah, I always thought stuffing

(25:54):
was your number one. It's a close #2 but no.
Fair enough. Are you kidding me?
A starch? A potato?
I love a potato in any form. That's true, you do.
I love a baked potato. I love a Mashed potato.
I love a fry. What are other versions?
A breakfast potato. A ^3 potato.
I stand corrected. I stand corrected.

(26:15):
You know my love for potatoes. I do, It's very well documented.
Also, yeah, we're just going to have to have a stuffing that
doesn't include meat, but we've done that anyways the last few
years, regardless of being pescetarian.
And what's my #3? Corn maybe?
No, I think corn. You're giving me the face like,

(26:38):
do you even know me? Do you?
Are you familiar? It's me.
It's your wife. It's Katie.
What's your top three sides? Number one is definitely yes.
Yes, yours is going to be cranberry sauce.
Number one. I think mashed potatoes,
cranberry sauce, stuffing. Very close, very close.

(27:01):
Number one mashed potatoes, number 2 stuffing #3 cranberry
sauce. But it's funny because this is
so typical. I forget about the goddamn
cranberry sauce every other year.
I'll even get it and it's just in the fucking fridge.
I forget about it. Yeah, we buy it and leave it in
the fridge. It's.
Yeah, it's so frustrating because it's so good and I don't

(27:23):
want the fresh stuff. Like when you go to Whole Foods
or Sprouts or one of these grocery stores, they have nice
tasty looking fresh cranberry sauce.
Now I want the Ocean Spray in the can because when you go to
cut it, it has the ridges that were indented from the can and
it makes perfect slices and it goes great with everything.
I love it. Cranberry sauce.
Question, should we get multiplepumpkin pies from Costco's so

(27:48):
that you can dribble them in thetrunk of the car again?
I think that is my new tradition, I think is to sling
them all over the fucking car. How many did?
You buy last year and how many did we not consume because they
were accidentally overturned in the car?
I bought 3, we consume 0. And three fucking pumpkin pies

(28:12):
were toppled over in our car at but not at the same time.
You didn't buy three pies and topple them all at once.
You bought 3 separate times. You bought pie and three
separate you called me and you were like it happened again it.
Did I fucking? Here's what happens because I

(28:34):
don't want to put it in the trunk.
I don't know why I put it on theback seat.
And put stuff. Around it.
No, no, it's so. Well, the one I did.
You're right. The one I did.
But the other two, the first one.
Oh my God. You guys, you have to understand
something. We have 4 pets, OK?
Pets. As much as we take care of them
and keep the house clean. They poop, they pee, they vomit.

(28:56):
We've had to clean clean some shit up.
I have. The dog threw up cat poop on my
lap before and it made me vomit.This.
The pumpkin pies all over the car is the biggest mess I've
ever had to deal with in my fucking life.
I It was full carnage. I swear to God I'm driving the

(29:17):
car I've turned into a parking lot.
I think it was literally I turned out of the Costco parking
lot and I heard it fling in the back and I'm like ah damn it.
I looked back there and it appeared as though the person
making the pie left the ingredients in the car and made
the pie elsewhere. It was all over the fucking

(29:38):
place. I don't want to say that you
totaled the car, but between thethree pies, like I don't know if
it's salvageable. It smelled like pumpkin pie in
that car until New Year's. It really did.
Yeah, it was. It was the biggest fucking mess
I've ever had to deal with. That being said, do you love a

(29:59):
pumpkin pie after? The first time you, it was the
first one was in the trunk. It spilled.
Yeah, OK. The second one, you moved it to
the back seat. OK.
What I don't get is the third one.
What do you mean? How did you spill the third one
By the third one, One, I think Iwould stop buying pies.

(30:19):
And two, I think I would be, I would think I would hold the
third pie in my lap like a child, like a lap child on a
plane until I got home. Like how was there a third time?
Do you want the actual answer? Yes, the.
The actual answer is that I put it in the back seat again
thinking that it couldn't happena second time and I put stuff

(30:43):
around it, like to the sides of it so it wouldn't move.
And I put shit, you not put the seat belt across it and it still
it slips. Under the seat belt.
I know, but I was thinking I I got to prevent it from flinging
and it slipped below the seat belt and still crashed and made
a whole goddamn mess. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

(31:05):
That's a yeah. Pumpkin pie.
That's good stuff. If anyone wants our Kia cell
toast when we're done, it has a bunch of pumpkin remnants from
last year. Yeah, and unless they when they
just did the body work after I got rear-ended, maybe they got
the pie out. I don't know.

(31:26):
I should have asked them. Just keep an eye out for it.
Yeah, something tells me it was more chaotic for them to fix or
for you to clean out the pumpkinpie than it was for them to
replace the rear bumper. Yeah, yeah, probably.
I think you're probably right about that.
Do you have any aside from the food, any like fond memories of

(31:47):
of Thanksgiving as a kid? Or was it just kind of you have
a meal, enjoy, move on? Yeah, we used to go to Chicago
all the time for Thanksgiving, but I think it's sadder when you
stop doing a tradition that you did every single year.
So it would have maybe even beenbetter if we didn't do a
tradition every single year, because then it's less sad when

(32:09):
you change it. I mean, there's an adjustment
period for sure. There definitely is like the
year that you change things feels weird.
And then yeah, after that it kind of feels normal.
So I would agree with that. What about Christmas?
What about fun Christmas things?I I don't know if I had a bunch
of whimsy as a child either. Maybe I was.

(32:30):
Maybe I grew up with no whimsy. Yeah, it kind of sounds like it.
We had Christmas was big in our house.
Yeah, I mean, we had Christmas like we decorated for Christmas.
We opened one present on Christmas Eve or, or our
stockings on Christmas Eve and then, yeah, it was pretty.

(32:51):
We would have waffles on Christmas.
Is that, is that, is that fun and cool?
I don't know. No, yeah, I think our our thing
was every year on Christmas Eve,we would have family come over
for brunch and then in the evening on Christmas Eve, we
would open up presents from our family from Florida 'cause they
would send stuff in boxes. And then Christmas morning,

(33:13):
pretty typical Christmas morning, my brother would stay
in my room on Christmas Eve night and we'd watch TV until we
fell asleep at like 3:00 AM. So like Christmas Eve into
Christmas, we didn't really sleep.
And I also, I was so excited as a kid that I couldn't sleep.
And I would also try to hear forlike Santa, I would try to hear

(33:36):
if I could hear my parents putting stuff downstairs.
There was one year where they get there was one year where
they gave us a foosball table for Christmas.
And you could tell that it took longer to put together than they
thought it would because they were they didn't sleep.
And that year on Christmas. Day.

(33:57):
They they like got up, we went to bed.
They got up at like midnight or 1:00 AM and went into the garage
and we're in there for like 7 hours putting this thing
together. Oh my God.
It was, it was a whole thing. But yeah, I mean, the the big
traditions would be those things.
And then I just loved every yearI'd beg my parents to bring the

(34:19):
the decorations out earlier and earlier.
I loved decorating for Christmas.
I want to decorate soon and yes it'll feel cozy and nice but it
does signify the end of the yearand that does panic me.
I get that, I get that, but I like sitting in the coziness of
it for a while because it is so like glowy and cozy and watch

(34:42):
dumb Hallmark movies for exampleChristmas with the Dinks.
What age were you when you figured out Santa?
Probably 10. Did your older brother?
Spoil it for you. I don't think so.
I think that he kind of to my memory, I think he wanted to let

(35:06):
me believe it as long as I could.
I thought you were going to say he still he still believes.
He's still a believer, so I hopehe's not listening to this.
But we also grew up like going to, I went to a Lutheran
elementary school. So I feel like they were always
pushing the religious aspect of Christmas, obviously.

(35:29):
And so I think because of how hard they pushed that I never
really was fully on board with Santa, I don't think.
I don't know. You were so on board with Jesus
that you weren't as much on board with Santa.
Well, it's not about even me being on board with him as much
as like the adults around me were like, this is a Jesus
holiday, not the commercialization of Santa

(35:52):
Claus. But also give us your money, you
know? Anyway, what about you?
When did you stop? Or did you ever believe in
Santa? I did, but I was pretty young
when I when I sussed it out, I think I was like 8I.
Feel like you go ahead. I just pictured a young Katie

(36:14):
like talking to your parents like if this Santa's real I want
to meet him and have trying to have like a confrontation with
Santa. The thing is, I busted the case
wide open and I sat my mom on the front stoop of our house in
Charlotte and I said, look, I, Ihave, I have some suspicions

(36:42):
about the Easter Bunny and the tooth Fairy and Santa and I
like, I like ruined my own childhood within a 10 minute
conversation 'cause I busted wide open about all three.
It was tooth fairy gate that is so.
Yeah, I think what got it is like, I couldn't get behind a

(37:06):
giant Bunny. I was like, I've seen, listen,
I've seen bunnies and they top out at 5 lbs Max, you know what
I mean? I agree.
And so then I was like, if the bunny's not real, guess what
else isn't? Guess what else isn't?
The tooth fairy. Oh, and fucking Santa.
You know what, I I completely agree with you.

(37:28):
I feel like the the weakest linkin that equation is the Easter
Bunny. Yeah, and they don't help each
other out like the the PR for these.
They aren't like, corroborating their stories.
No yeah, Easter Bunny needs a different publicist for sure.
So I think, 'cause like, what isthe vibe with him?
He goes, he hops around and brings children Easter baskets.

(37:54):
E Santa Claus with ears, basically.
Right. So you're telling me that Santa
does this and also a giant Bunnydoes this?
No, something's wrong. No way.
So I sat my mom down and was like, tell me the truth.
And then and then I remember. She'll probably remember it
differently since all my childhood memories are wrong,
but she I remember her being like wait I just lost my train

(38:19):
of thought. Oh no.
About the Easter Bunny. Yeah.
Santa Claus 2 Point O Hopping around, bringing gifts.
Horse out of the barn, Horse in the barn Horse out of the barn,
Horse in the barn. Your mom was like about the
Easter Bunny. She's about to shit on him.
You know what helps someone's memory when you just like
monologue in their ear and don'tlet them remember.

(38:44):
I don't know. I, I remember her being like
don't tell your brother or like,like I remember it being.
Keep the. Secret, that's what it was.
I remember giving her a hard time that she ever lied to me
about it. I remember being like, if you
lied about these three, if you lied about Santa and the Easter

(39:07):
Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, what else are you lying about?
Oh my God, how old were you? Eight.
I think I was 8. And I was like, So what else are
you lying about? That is single handedly the most
Katie coded story I've ever heard.
And then she was like, nothing like, that's it.
I'm not lying about other stuff.And I was like, yeah, you would

(39:28):
say that. You know, you have told me liar
you've you've told me throughoutthe course of our relationship
that for a large part of your childhood you wanted to be a
spy. And I the more that you tell
like that story and I think about the spy thing and like I
feel like that is a legit careerpath that you could go down

(39:52):
because you are very like centered in this.
You want justice and want the truth.
And I feel like I feel like thatthat is were you a spy in a
previous life? Maybe I maybe did the past life
progression, but you have. Multiple past lives, so maybe in
a different past life I was. I just have so many questions

(40:14):
like if I'm not a good candidatefor the government to pluck me
out of my regular life and make me a spy like Sydney Bristow, an
alias. Deep cut.
Thank you if you understand the reference.
If I'm not a good candidate, whois?
You know what I mean. What are they doing?
Sleeping. Sleeping on me.
And they could have had me from a young age, 'cause I have the

(40:37):
desire. And I had and at the time still
remembered Morse code, so it would have been great.
I'm telling you, I think you'd be an incredible spy and
frankly, I'd, I'm a little nervous that you are.
Now that we talk about it so much, it's like hiding in white.
What are they hiding in plain sight?
Type things you know. Oh yeah, 'cause this is exactly

(40:58):
what a spy would say. Yeah, you would joke about it
and be like, yeah, that'd be crazy if I was a spy, right?
I don't know. That's I will figure it out.
Anyway, that's why I'm always gone doing shows.
Yep. Yep, and all the shows that you
take pictures at. Those are all just government
cover ups I got. It.

(41:20):
Happy. We hope you all.
We're going to talk to you afterThanksgiving next.
So we hope you have a happy Thanksgiving.
Kids are no kids. Take the time, enjoy, enjoy the
time with your friends and family or your found family,
whatever it is you do. And slam down those Tofurky
loafs. That's right, get your Tofurky
on. You often send me videos on

(41:42):
TikTok. I send you videos on TikTok.
You do you watch mine. I've often, I'll admit, forget
that the inbox is a thing on TikTok and I don't watch them
until you tell me to. I watch yours, it's a one way
fucking relationship in this marriage.
It kind of is. I don't disagree with you, but
you sent me a couple videos froman account named Just Julia and

(42:05):
these are some questions prompted.
I don't really understand the way that she sets it up though.
Can you explain this? It's like when couples want to
like instigate a but would you still love me if I was you know,
if I had no arms, if I was a worm, Would you still love me if

(42:26):
I whatever like there's it's fill in the blank.
Would you still love me if I? And then you can either have fun
conceptualizing it or sometimes people in the comments joke
like, yeah, good. I wanted an argument today.
Like, I wanted to pick a fight. Yeah.
But so there's some people that like to pick a fight like a dumb

(42:48):
little like innocuous fight. I guess my question is, and I'm
a fan, I like these questions, but is is the worm one like the
most common because she she quotes the worm one quite a bit
or is it not It's just it's justthe.
Example, yeah, I think that's like an overarching common one.
And then it it's like fill in the blank after that.

(43:10):
These are great though. Do you want to do a few?
Yeah. OK, here is the first one.
Welcome back to questions that are better than Would you still
love me if I was a worm? We have a doozy today.
If I was turned into a baby, like in the movie Sky High,
where the evil villain has a raygun that turns people into

(43:31):
babies, and if I was turned intoa baby, would you raise me and
take care of me even though thatmeans that we would never be
able to be together romanticallyever again?
OK. Would do you want to answer this
first or should I? I want you to go first, but I
agree. Solid sky high reference, great

(43:53):
movie. Sick.
Deep cut. Would I raise you if you were a
baby? No.
If. I was If I was a baby, you
wouldn't raise me. No.
Why? Because you'd be like every
other baby and I'm not interested in raising any baby.

(44:14):
So you're you're not like a special baby that I want to
raise. And then also in the context of
our lives, like we're partners. And in this context, no offense,
but you're bringing nothing to the table as a baby.
Hey, as a baby what? Are you, you worthless bag of

(44:36):
shit? So wow, OK, I mean, I guess I
suppose there's like multiple angles here because that's also
my response. I would not want to raise you if
you were a baby. Why?
Why am I like hell yeah about myanswer, but then when you say
you don't want to raise me, I'm offended?

(44:58):
I mean, I've probably the same reason I was offended.
But here's the thing. The difference is I was a great
baby and I was basically an adult in a baby body.
Yeah, that sounds fucking horrible.
That sounds horrible. I was like all those little kids
we see at restaurants that like order for themselves and are

(45:18):
really polite and perfect. That was me.
OK, I love you, I am deeply in love with you.
You're my soul mate. All of the above.
Having a child that questions everything I do is my worst
fucking nightmare. You know what I mean?
Like if I the the alternate universe where I'm a parent, I'm

(45:41):
a parent to a child that I can lie to about everything and they
believe everything I say not at 8 comes up to me and says why
did you fucking lie to me about the tooth fairy?
Yeah. You know what I mean?
And what and what else does thisimplicate you in?
Right, where does the buck stop Dad?
Anyway, that's a good one, and we both have the same answer, so

(46:04):
we can't be upset about it, right?
All right, let's do another one.Let's do another one.
This is just Julia on TikTok. The original me with.
This one's so easy. OK, I go.
Huh, That's interesting. Yeah.
I hope she's having a good life and I stay with the clown,
obviously. But the first half of our
relationship was the original me.

(46:26):
Oh, I see. OK, wait, OK, this is harder
than I thought. I misunderstood the question.
Yeah. I misunderstood.
Holy shit. OK, this is way more
complicated. I don't want to answer this one
first. You go I there's only one to me.

(46:47):
Wait. To me there's only two options.
OK, I mean, yeah, there's there is literally only two options I
think. No, no, no.
Of like ways to move forward, whatever.
You'll understand when I say it.Got it.
Kill the clone. Kill.
The clone and find the real you or find the real you and just

(47:10):
date both of you because you're the same person.
But it'd be too weird if the original you is out there and
I'm just with the clone. I feel like I have to either be
with both of you or kill the clone.
Kill the clone or be both? OK.
Wow, OK. So it's like a weird throuple
with two Camerons and one Katie.Or why I killed the clone?

(47:32):
I have a question, why does anybody need to die in this
scenario? What am I supposed to do with
the clone? You don't.
You're not responsible. No, you don't have to kill the
clone. It can go live like an
independent life, right? So someone else is going to
marry your clone. Sure, it's a different person

(47:53):
technically. But then I've been with the
clone this whole time. See, This is why the question is
asked, because it's so complicated.
Well, fine. What would you do with my clone
and me? I OK, I was going to say, I was
going to say stay with the cloneand stay with the clone that now
here's why hang on, stay with the clone.

(48:15):
Or I didn't realize that like having both of you would be an
option that that I could see that working too.
But the reason I say the clone is because what are you giving
me that face for in the middle? Because you got to like, think
outside the box. What do you mean an you didn't
know it was an option? I didn't.

(48:36):
I thought it was either you pickone or the other.
I didn't know it both was an option.
But the reason I say the clone is because you that person has
all of the memories and the personality and everything of
the first half, but also the second-half.
And the the more time that we spent together, the more that

(48:59):
that informs our entire life andlike.
So the original me, yeah, the original me doesn't have the
memories from the last whatever,10 years or something.
But the clone has all the memories.
Sure. I mean it'd be weird, it'd be a
hard choice, but in see in my scenario how nobody dies though,

(49:21):
yeah, easy. I fucking kill the clone.
You want to commit. OK, let's do another one.
These these next few were not vetted so no promises.
Welcome back to even more questions that are better than
Would You still love me if I wasa worm today?
Featuring Phoebe. Today's question If every year I

(49:45):
grew a new tooth in my mouth, a baby tooth that started to form
like a shark, a second ring of teeth in my mouth starting in
the back, how many years would it take before you noticed that
I was growing new teeth? Are you not?
11111 year, one year in fact. And 1/2 I would notice if there

(50:13):
were any extra teeth. That's crazy.
Wait. But I thought that OK let's
change the question a little bitbecause that's too easy.
How long would you stay with me if I had shark teeth that were
developing every year and they just kept adding rows till the
end of time? So when I'm 90 I have like 7

(50:36):
rows of teeth. I mean, I don't that's a hard
one. Is it?
Yeah, what? What's your answer?
I think I would wait for like one extra row and then by the
time we got to like 3, I think if we got to three rows, that's
so crazy and creepy. Like I don't think I could get

(50:57):
past it. Or could you pull them?
Maybe we could. Pull them.
You're sick. You're sick, sick.
That means the longer we stay together, the more torture I get
to experience because I keep getting teeth.
Pull them or do you not want to be with me bad enough to pull
with the teeth? Do you not want to be with me

(51:19):
bad enough to look at the teeth?I don't want like a shredded up
face. If we kiss like you have a shark
mouth, the scenario. Would stay with you.
Like let's say it topped out it,I mean how many?
I guess it can top out like 70 rows of teeth or something,
right? Yeah, a lot of lot.

(51:40):
I think I would. I could make it about halfway.
I could make it about. Halfway before you were like,
I'm with this weird shark wife and it's.
Yeah. And then, like the clown, you'd
have to die. You know, You would just have to
die. I think they declined in
goodness as the questions went on, but we did our best.

(52:00):
I like We Do One more. It's really funny.
Oh my God. OK.
Just one more I don't know. These are fun.
The sharp one was interesting. Fine.
Hello and welcome back to even more questions that are better
than Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Today's question is kind of a tough one.
If I had an attempt on my life made by a serial killer and I

(52:23):
was put into witness protection,what would you do?
Now I'm anticipating a couple ofdifferent common answers to this
question, so I've prepared a couple of stock responses to any
of those common answers. First one is I would wait for
you. You're not even going to try to
find me. You don't love me enough to even

(52:45):
cut to try to. So what is she?
OK, so she's saying you were targeted by a serial killer
unsuccessfully. You're now in witness
protection, right? Of course.
I would try to find you. Right.
And would you try to enter witness protection with me?
Abso fucking lutely I would. What kind of question is that?

(53:06):
I know, that's what I'm saying. I don't know that all of these
are winners because I would definitely look for you.
I wouldn't just go, well, that'sweird.
He disappeared. Oh, he didn't come home today
for dinner. All right.
Well, it was a good run. Yeah.
All right. Well, those were fun.
Maybe we can we can look throughthem and do a few more.
Times a ton. But it's just Julia, just Julia

(53:29):
on on TikTok. Before we go, I want to read 1
message we got from a listener and then we have a quick game at
the end here. This is from Jen who sent us a
message on Instagram and she said Katie and Cameron, what is
your most selfish reason to remain child free?

(53:50):
Your most selfish reason to remain child free?
It's a great question. And we talk about honestly, it's
mostly selfish and selfish has like a negative connotation to
it. But I think in this scenario,
it's it, it can be a good thing.We are aware of the selfishness

(54:10):
and want to lean in, you know. Yeah, I'm trying to discern
which of my reasons is the most selfish.
I mean maybe I would consider most selfish in this scenario
like most selfish with my time for like putting it towards my
career instead of a child. But maybe I could look at this

(54:32):
question as most surface. What is it?
Called surface level, yeah. And I guess I would say in that
sense, so that I don't ever get spit up on and have to change my
clothes and do extra laundry. That's a good one.

(54:55):
That's a really good one, yeah. What is the most selfish reason
for me? Honestly, this one, this one
comes to mind recently for some reason.
We talk about the money thing all the time.
That's up there for sure. I think the most selfish reason
for me is like sleep. It's and it's, it's not even

(55:17):
like, oh, 'cause I get more sleep, it's like I don't have
to. I can do whatever I want with my
sleep. If, if we have a night where we
want to stay up until 4:00 AM watching episodes of Love Island
because it's so good and we can't put it down, I want to be
able to do that. And.
And then not have a screaming child jumping on you at 7:00 AM.

(55:38):
Yeah. And if that means I got 4 hours
of sleep or three hours of sleepor whatever it is, then I like
OK, I can accept that for one day because I don't have to take
care of anybody else other than myself and you.
I also just think once you have a kid you're just always tired
until the end of time. Like you're never not.
Tired, especially the first few years, it seems.

(55:59):
But thank you for the question, Jen.
Yeah, good. Question.
Keep them coming. I think our second, our first
episode is all of our most our top reasons.
Yeah, yeah, definitely go back and listen to that.
But we wanted to end today because we didn't have, turns
out this week, faith in humanity.

(56:22):
We did not witness the child that touched our hearts.
And so we're going to do something different, which is
what, babe? It is basically would you
rather? So what would you rather do that
does usually pain you, But what would you rather do than have a
child? Or what did we want to call?
It didn't. What didn't I have a fun name?

(56:43):
You did have a fun name. Damn it.
Anyhow, here we oh, Katie's choice.
It's like Sophie's choice, so it's have a kid or blank.
So would you rather honey, wouldyou rather so you pick one and
you leave one at the train station or whatever getting
Sophie's choice Katie's choice OK, Katie's choice.

(57:04):
Would you rather have a kid or have to deal with taking me to
the Apple store and wiping my phone every single week for the
rest of our lives? Oh fuck.
Oh, I think I'd rather take you to the Apple Store every week
for the rest of our lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(57:27):
And I and I knew that one would be hard.
It sucks, but it's one day a week.
I can stomach that, you know. Yeah, one day a week we, I bring
that up because we did recently go to the Apple Store and we had
to wipe my phone and it was verystressful and I did have a panic
attack and nothing makes sense and nothing makes sense in the
cloud and my phone's not backed up and why isn't it just
working? It's fucking iPhone 17 or

(57:51):
whatever, and it can't just do its own job.
I don't understand technology, nor do I want to, nor do I like
the Apple Store and I don't likethe way they talk down to me.
So it's a lot of stress. But I would rather do.
I agree with you. I would rather do that once a
week than have a kid. Do you have one for me?
Yeah, I mean, I'll, I'll flip the same kind of scenario.
I'll think of another one too, but I'll flip that scenario back

(58:13):
towards you and say would you rather have a new phone that you
have to transfer into every day for the rest of your life or
have a kid? My God, that's like, it's like
giving me stress. I was just thinking about it.
But I still would do the phone because I think that it would
take me like an hour of I would have like an hour long panic
attack while transferring all mystuff every single day.

(58:36):
But then I have the rest of my day to be myself.
And if you have a kid that's 24/7.
So yeah. That's a good one.
That's a good point. All right.
Do you have another one? Yes.
Would you rather or Katie's choice?
Yes, Katie's choice. Be the last person no matter

(58:58):
what row, no matter what seat you're in.
Be the last person to deplane onevery flight you ever take for
the rest of your life. Or have a kid.
I'd take the flights easily because I don't fly that much.
Like I fly a couple times a yearbut like but you have to wait.
That would be a different. You have to wait and watch
everyone else get off before you, all the douchey people that

(59:20):
are pushing past you. I get it, but I mean, that pales
in comparison to a child every day of my life, don't you think?
Yeah. Would you rather never?
Would you rather never or Katie's choice, never see your
friends again or have a child get it?

(59:41):
If you have a child, you never see your friends again.
Oh getting getting lol. I'm trying to think of another
good one. Yeah, I think we should keep
doing it. I think we should keep doing it.
Yeah, I think it's a good littleender and people can answer too.
And DM us your answers if you want.

(01:00:02):
Do it, do it, do it, do it at the Dinkside pod on the
Instagram. All right, have a happy
Thanksgiving, everyone. Gobble gobble, bitch.