#6 | The Holidays with the DINKs

Today we talk about the holidays on the way as a DINK couple, share some fun questions from TikTok, and more!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
There's a new term buzzing on the Internet, Dick.
Dual income? No, kid, you probably have an
opinion on these people or an opinion on people who have an
opinion on these people. America's birth rate has hit its
lowest point in more than a century.
Some are blaming it on infertility.
Others say the state of the world is causing couples to
think twice about having children.

(00:21):
Childless marriages could be a good thing if they were a result
of God's sovereign providential work.
Oh my God, can't even hear you. They like avocado toast and
brunches out and going to plays and having sweet vacations.
Yeah, you're probably super selfish.
Kids are better than brunch and.Then there's another group of

(00:42):
young couples that want the lifestyle of childless
households and the lifestyle it brings with it.
Welcome to The DINK Side, the podcast about life, laughs and
living child free. We are a double income, no kids
couple navigating the UPS, downsand hilarious in betweens of
choosing a different path in a world that will not stop asking.

(01:03):
So when are you having kids? The answer may surprise you.
It's never. Today on the podcast, we're
going to talk about the holidays.
The holidays with the Dinks, which, when you think about it,
could be the next Hallmark moviethat hits shelves.
It's a good title. That you think?
My God, yeah. Christmas with the dinks, Yeah,

(01:27):
it's kind of it's giving. Christmas with the crank, Yeah.
That's what I thought. I think that we should.
I mean, there's a if somebody else does it, we, we trademarked
it right here on this podcast, so.
Yeah, if it's our idea, if someone else, yeah, yeah, F
right off. This is our idea.
Copyright infringement. Holy shit.

(01:48):
Yeah, I think it's a good idea, but we're going to talk holidays
because this is the last episodebefore that kind of kicks off.
Thanksgiving is literally like 2weeks away, less than two weeks
away, which is insane. And then we get right into
Christmas and we're going to getinto all that.
But first I wanted to start off by saying I don't know what is

(02:09):
going on in the world. I don't know if February was a
super hot month to have sex. Why is everybody having kids?
It feels like it every. We know so many people, so many
people that are having babies and I'm not shitting on them.
We support you. But what happened?
Everyone is having a baby right now.

(02:30):
I. Think.
I mean, it's Valentine's Day, right?
The day that people, I guess that's.
True, I guess. You said what happened.
In the day that people do it, yeah.
I mean, you're not wrong. And maybe that's the case.
They should rebrand as what? Valentine's Day, It should be
the day that people do it and make babies.

(02:53):
Just that, just the day that people do it.
The day that people do it. I do think it's a combination of
a couple things. If I had to guess, I think that
there's some people having babies that were like waiting
for COVID to end and all of thatbecause we just got out of that
somewhat recently. But I don't know, it does feel

(03:14):
like it's a very popular time topop out a kid.
And I think it's odd, too. We're in our 30s and we now are
in the space in the zone where we like know people that have
had kids and have gotten divorced and are already on like
their second part of life, second marriage with kids from
the first marriage. And it's, it's trippy when we

(03:37):
know these people and have thesepeople in our lives.
And we are like, do you want to go to dinner tonight?
You know, it's, it's weird. Yeah, we have to like plan weeks
in advance and then give them anopportunity to get a babysitter
or whatever. I'm finding it hard to even

(03:57):
grasp because I am in this acting class now and we're
coming into like circumstances where you have to imagine like
fake people. And they were pitching the idea
of like, me having a fake child and I was like, I can't do it.
It's too far. I can't imagine it.

(04:19):
This is a fantastic I'm so glad you brought this up because I
have been meaning to ask you this and I keep forgetting.
How do you think you're going to?
Because I do. I think it's going to happen.
How do you think you're going tobe whenever you play a role
where you have to play a mother or play a role where you're
playing a pregnant woman? Or you might even have to do a
scene one day where you're giving birth?

(04:40):
Well, we both know that I nailedthat because I did a self tape
once for General Hospital where I was actively giving birth as
as hold on, wait for it, the mother Mary, the Virgin Mary or
whatever. Remember I.
Forgot it was like part of it. It was like a General Hospital
audition where I was like fully giving birth and I think I

(05:00):
fucking nailed it. Did I book the role?
No. But did did I?
Did I do great? Yes.
Did my manager at the time send back notes and say I should redo
it because it didn't seem like Iwas in enough pain?
Sure. But did I also recently get
booked for a YouTube sketch where I was giving birth again?

(05:21):
Yes. Hell, yeah.
So see, I think what happened was the quality of acting was so
high that it wasn't soap opera appropriate.
Do you know what I'm saying? Because like when you watch a
soap opera, very corny, very campy.
You were way too hyper realistic.
Yeah, and they were like, oh, wedon't actually want good acting.

(05:44):
Yeah, I get it. So thank you for asking.
I think that this is, you know, shocker.
This is what I'm going to have to do.
Last night, actually in my acting class, we had a
substitute teacher that's a non binary person.
And they were explaining to us that in the work when they took
the class, they couldn't connectto situations about like them

(06:07):
being a mother or having a kid. And they, they would substitute
their dog in their head because you can do that.
You can just pretend you're thinking about your child, but
be thinking about your dog. And I'm so that's what I'll do.
Now simple, can one, I think that makes perfect sense, but

(06:27):
can one get postpartum depression from a fake acting
pregnancy? Because I'm concerned that it
might happen. Like I, I know that it's all
pretend, but I fear that like, you'll go through it and then
come home and be like, did I actually give birth?
I think postpartum is a chemicalimbalance that happens after

(06:48):
birth in your brain. As a result of hearing it,
maybe. Oh good, I the cat is in here
and he just like fully blocked my face on the camera with his
asshole. So that's.
Cool, it's fine. Imagine if that was a baby
anyways, that would be way worse.

(07:09):
It would be way worse 'cause it was also be screaming.
I also had rehearsal today and was shown by my acting partner a
video of pranks. Like a prank video of people
waking each other up by pouring a bucket of ice water.

(07:30):
Have you seen these? I have seen these.
It's first of all, it's insane and it's terrifying.
Imagine waking up like that. Second of all, I think you would
die, I think, if you woke me up like that.
I OK, OK, first of all, yeah, these videos give me so much
anxiety for for multiple reasons.

(07:51):
Number one, I can't imagine waking up like that.
Number two, I would like, of course my reaction would be like
because I would think I'd be drowning.
You're waking up in waters all around you #3 immediately.
Every time I see one, I instantly go to the place of
like you mother fucker, you ruinthe floor.
The neighbor below us is fucked.I'm going to have to call.

(08:13):
Yeah, you ruin the furniture. I'm going to have to call the
insurance company now. You son of a bitch.
I would be so pissed, so pissed if somebody did that.
Oh, completely. But then I was like, the only
reason to ever do this prank is to your kid.
If they're like if they've been bad.

(08:33):
Like if you have a tween boy who's just like a shit head, I
could so see pouring a bucket ofwater on the child.
I don't know, is that consideredabuse?
No, I mean it's all, you know what it it's perfect for like a
camp prank because you're outside and you can't really
ruin anything. And that is where pranks happen

(08:54):
a lot. So not like a parent child
relationship. I mean, I mean you could
surprise your kid at camp and pour water on on their face or
something, I don't know. Is it considered abuse to prank
your own child? I mean, I think people, I think
there are some Youtubers that have gone to jail for it because
at a certain point it's traumatic if you do it.

(09:17):
I almost said the right way. But if you go so far, it can be
traumatic. But like harmless things, like,
you know, what I used to do to my dad was put shaving cream on
his doorknob and put things in, put things in front of his
walking path. So at night he would trip, going
to the bathroom, things like that.

(09:38):
I feel like if you do those to your kids, it's like, oh, it's
kind of funny and silly and whatever.
But if you're doing something like mean, I don't know, it's
hard. It's hard to know where the line
is. A reminder to stay humble to
them because I feel like kids, especially young boys, get like
real big egos and I feel like that would be my way of

(09:59):
reminding them that they ain't shit, you know?
See, OK, I often think about this like we do not want
children. It's very well established.
Hello, listen to the podcast you're listening to right now.
That being said, I think that I think that we would be great
parents and I think that you would be a really good and fun

(10:22):
mom. Like I really do think that you
would be. It's not our choice in life.
We're not going to go down that path.
But it's weird because I do think like you would, you would
prank our kids. You would have fun with it.
Yeah, thanks. It's such a weird compliment,
but thank you. I know, I know it doesn't really
make sense, but it it is. I do feel that way.

(10:46):
It's funny you mentioned the pranks though, because the
pranks have come up quite a bit in conversation in our household
because and I don't think we talked about this in the
podcast, did we? I don't think so, but you keep
saying that you don't want to prank me because you think that
I'll get super raving pissed andlike not forgive you.
And I'm saying I think it would be fine as long as you filmed it

(11:11):
and put it on TikTok. And I knew it was for the bit.
Do you think that pranks would make or break our marriage?
Is the question. I think it's really, it really
depends. And like I think the prank can't
be too mean. I also don't want someone like

(11:32):
now that we share a wall again, I don't want someone to call the
cops. Sure, that is a factor for sure.
We can't get the law involved, you know.
Yeah, so I I get that. But they're like here's I'm in a
tough position on this one because.
Oh oh. Every no, I am I am because

(11:54):
every single day I swear to God I see 20 opportunities to prank
you, scare you, startle you and I I'm like, should I do it?
And I think no one of the one ofmy go to is for years.
Used to be if I'm driving and other people in the car are on
their phones, I would slam on the brakes and scream.

(12:15):
You've done that to me. I know and it fucking did not go
well. I, I know.
Well, I brought that up today. I brought that up today of my,
after I saw the prank videos andI was like, oh, I've been
pranked before. My husband slammed on the brakes
and screamed and I punched him in the fucking arm.

(12:35):
I'm a I'm a violent, I'm afraid.Of that's what I'm afraid to be
honest. You're you're equal opportunity
though 'cause you also did the same thing when I proposed to
you, you punched me in the arm. Yeah, I think anytime I'm
surprised, I think my reaction to being surprised is to hit
things. It's either to hit things or

(12:55):
it's weird. It's like you hit things or if
I'm injured, you laugh. Those are your two responses.
What do you mean if you're injured?
I laugh. I feel like that has happened a
couple times. You just bleed a lot, so it's
like you're running thing. It's like you're.
I like that's my running thing is I bleed a lot.

(13:19):
Yeah, so it's like, oh, there hegoes again, bleeding a lot.
There he is bleeding. But no, I wish.
I'm going to. I'm going to try sometime in the
next couple of weeks, especiallyaround the holidays because
we're going to be spending more time together.
Obviously, I, I'm going to try afew prank videos on you.

(13:39):
So I'm just saying it now so that you can get in that
headspace because it's coming and maybe that will soften the
blow. You know what I mean?
This. Is so ominous.
It's so ominous because now I'm going to be, I'm going to be
sleeping with one eye open. I'm not gonna.
Here's what I won't do. I can make this promise because

(13:59):
I think. This is ground rules.
Ground rules, yeah. Nothing while you're sleeping,
nothing while you're sleeping. That is like to me that's, that
is how somebody dies, you know, like that is how it gets violent
by accident. So.
I also don't want the the pets like in harm's way if like if
they're the dogs are with me, I don't want to accidentally like

(14:22):
drop something on them. Yeah.
So no, no, nothing while you're asleep, No animal involvement
whatsoever unless it's like, well, no, no, never mind.
I would also say I'm not going to do anything that damages the
property that we live in or our personal property.

(14:43):
Sure. If I'm really limiting yourself
now, no. No, come on, paint, paint within
the lines. Everybody has to do it, OK.
And then the other thing I wouldsay is if I make a mess, I it
is, it can be cleaned up and it does not 'cause permanent
damage. How about that?
Sure. Yeah, pretty.

(15:03):
So I'm excited and also scared. I think I'm more scared than I
am excited, but maybe we'll get something fun out of it.
It's it's funny that you're talking about pranking me and
out of the two of us you have more fear in your heart.
I have way more fear like I but this has always been the case
when I was a kid if I did anything like tee peeing or this

(15:27):
one time we put post it notes all over my friend's car.
I was always so nervous. A friend of mine in in right
after college. He he used to do social
experiment videos on YouTube wasreally good at it.
His his big one was like a 50 foot selfie stick that he used

(15:48):
to go to intersections. It put through people's cars
while they were at a stoplight with like a GoPro on it.
Really, really funny videos. That's fun.
Does he still do it? He doesn't.
He's a rabbi now. He moved to Israel so made a
different life choice. But I, I, there was a couple
that he asked me to like, come and do with him.
And then he stopped asking me because the footage was unusable

(16:11):
because I was shaking so much holding the camera.
Oh my God. I used to get, I would get so
effing nervous. Like it's probably the most
nervous I've ever been in my entire life.
I'm not joking. That's so funny.
I would do these things too, butI think I like Thrive Under

(16:32):
Pressure because we did one my roommate and I in college would
do social experiments and film them and stuff.
Like we did the Thriller dance on the top of a parking garage
like a flash mob kind of. And then we Did you know that
how food courts at malls used tohave pianos?

(16:53):
Yes. We she would like, she knew how
to play piano. OK, So I would film her like
going to play the piano at the food court, like she would just
start playing even though you'renot allowed to if you don't work
there anyways, things like that.I'll, I'll try to think of some
more, but I would, we would do that all the time.

(17:14):
That's great. See, that was before it got like
really off the rails and kids were like throwing milk jugs in
grocery stores and stuff. Like it became destructive at a
certain point. That was like back when it was
really new and fun and harmless.And anyway, I say all that to
say I will prank you at some point between now and New Year's

(17:35):
Eve, and it's going to be great,so sleep well, you know, so.
You already have the prank picked out.
I mean, I think I need to come up with at least one, like super
creative one. The others are just going to be
on the fly, you know? OK.
Like you're down the hallway andI see the perfect opportunity to

(17:58):
jump out and startle you, you know what I'm saying?
Sure, but again, I don't want the cops called.
The cops won't be called at least.
I mean maybe after the second orthird time, but not.
Not the first time. Everybody will think it's.
Old people into cardiac arrest. They can't hear us.
They go to bed at like 5. They'll be It'll be fine.

(18:20):
They'll be asleep. I know, imagine being old and
being woke woken up to screaming.
I don't they have the weirdest bedtime.
They go to bed at like, like I said, 5 and I don't see them
until like 8:00 AM. They're just always sleeping.
So I'm not worried about it. It'll be good, it'll be fun.
We're inserting whimsy into our life.
It is an exciting thing. I do want to talk the holidays,

(18:41):
but before I get there, I. This is what happens when you
don't have kids to complain about in their teachers.
This is the hot topic in our household this week.
What is with this Instagram update?
Oh my God, it's so it hasn't happened to me yet.
I'm scared and afraid because it's gonna ruin my life.
So is it not rolled out to everyone?

(19:03):
Is it just in beta? This is what they do, they
slowly roll it out to people like you know, 20,000 people at
a time. It just hit my account and they
moved all the goddamn buttons. So like when you put a post up,
you know how it was on the bottom middle before, now that
is top left. Now the search bar is in a
different place. Now the reels button is in a

(19:25):
different place. Messages, messages are in a.
They're like it all connects to Facebook and it's all on the
weird button in a different place.
Why do they do this? It's so frustrating.
It wasn't broken. What are we trying to fix?
You're actually just making. You're just actually just
pissing people off. 100 percent,100%.

(19:47):
It's so irritating and it makes me excited because Vine is
coming back and I am about to become a Vine star.
I missed the boat the first time, I'm going to do it the
second time now I'm ready. 6 seconds of glory.
It's it's going to be my lane. I can't wait.

(20:08):
And best of all, no AI content allowed so it's all going to be
human. Really stuff.
Yes, I think it's it's a great idea.
It's a great idea. Who bought it?
Jack Dorsey, who I, he had, he had maybe Twitter the first time
around. I forget what his deal is.
I'll be honest, I'm not good at remembering those things, but

(20:29):
I'm stoked. I mean, I loved Vine.
I loved it. Those are my glory days.
I know I'm ready. Did you make Vine content
before? Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
I had some good ones. I had some good shit on there.
Did you go, as they say, viral? I did a few times, yeah.

(20:51):
I had some vines that did well. All right, I'm excited for you.
Are you going to put your prank videos with me on Vine?
See, that's kind of what I'm thinking because I don't.
You don't need a long prank video, you just need the jump
scare on the reaction. And honestly, all of my favorite
ones. I've shown you compilations of
people getting pranked and scared and stuff.
They're all like little bites, little 2 second bites.

(21:13):
It's going to be perfect. I cannot wait.
Welcome back, Vine, welcome back.
Thank God. Should we talk holidays?
Sure. Holidays with the Dinks.
That's the name of our Hallmark movie.
This is going to be our first Thanksgiving doing a vegan loaf.
Yeah, I was going to actually talk about that because I don't.

(21:36):
I've never done one. We've never done one.
If you have a recommendation, please send it our way.
I could see it being tasty or absolutely vile.
Is it? Made out of tofu.
That's what I don't get. There's there's definitely tofu,
there's tofurkies, which are tofu.
Like Turkey logs? I don't.

(21:58):
No, no, no. That sounds bad, no?
It does kind of sound bad, right?
I don't want a fucking Turkey flavored lump like.
Well, I don't know if it's Turkey flavored as much as it is
like it's supposed to replicate.You know, when everybody else is
sitting at the table and they have their slice of Turkey and
they have their gravy and mashedpotatoes and cranberry sauce,

(22:21):
that allows you to kind of fit in.
So I think it slices like a Turkey, but I don't think it
tastes like a Turkey. I hope not.
I hope not, but it's interestingto think about the holidays
because a lot of people at this time of year get into family
mode, as do we, but we don't have to bring the kids around.

(22:42):
And sometimes that looks different, sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes people have the same traditions.
Kids are no kids. But for us, it's kind of
different every year. And I think that that is one
thing I actually really enjoy. Like, there was a ton of
traditions as a kid that I liked, but as you get older,

(23:04):
you're like, are we doing this because we enjoy it or are we
doing this because we did it last year?
You know? And I think that's one reason
Thanksgiving was always, I mean,I loved Christmas.
I always loved Christmas. I still do.
But I think Thanksgiving was at the top of my list because,
yeah, the food is good, but we kind of did something different
every year. There were years where we would

(23:26):
drive and see family in Florida.There were years where we had
people over to our house. There were years where we went
to other people's houses. So it was kind of fun because it
was a little different every year.
The one year that I was not particularly fond of, we went to
Florida and visited family. And this aunt of mine who I

(23:49):
think was a step aunt, technically, she had everybody
over for Thanksgiving dinner andshe did something that I have
never seen before, which is she made the exact amount of food
for the exact amount of people attending and in my mind.
Portioned it out. Yeah, so everybody got one

(24:10):
plate. OK, but what if someone takes a
scoop that's bigger than the person next to them?
Did she serve at Cafeteria Lane style?
Yes, she did. She.
Portioned it all out. She handed out plates that were
perfectly portioned. And the best thing was my one of
my cousins showed up that she didn't know was coming and she

(24:34):
had no food for him. There was legit no food.
And so he had to, like, take little pieces from everybody
else's plate. That's so awkward.
I mean, I guess I respect the noleftovers game or like the no
waste, that's great, but it's like to the extent that you
don't even have one extra plate of food is crazy.

(24:57):
It's insane. Also, a lot of people like
eating leftovers. People, that is.
That's exactly my point, is thatThanksgiving is like the
leftovers holiday. There's a whole tradition of the
next day making those Thanksgiving sandwiches with the
all the fixins in there. And so it just seemed like so

(25:20):
whack that that was the case. But.
Honestly, before and after beinga pescetarian, I've always been
in the game for the sides. Same 100% so.
I don't feel like a sense of lack not eating the main meat
part because I've always mashed potatoes are the top of my

(25:42):
hierarchy and that's fine. What do you mean really?
I'm surprised by that. Pardon me.
Yeah, I always thought stuffing was your number one.
It's a close #2 but no. Fair enough.
Are you kidding me? A starch?
A potato? I love a potato in any form.

(26:03):
That's true, you do. I love a baked potato.
I love a Mashed potato. I love a fry.
What are other versions? A breakfast potato?
A Cuban. Potato.
I stand corrected. I stand corrected.
You know my love for potatoes. I do, It's very well documented.
Also, yeah, we're just going to have to have a stuffing that
doesn't include meat, but we've done that anyways last few years

(26:26):
regardless of being pescetarian.And what's my #3?
Maybe it's maybe. No, I think corn.
You're giving me the face like, do you even know me?
Do you? Are you familiar?
It's me. It's your wife.
It's Katie. What's your top three sides?

(26:46):
Number one. Is.
Definitely, yes, yes. Yours is going to be cranberry
sauce. Number one.
I think mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing.
Very close, very close. Number one mashed potatoes,
number 2 stuffing #3 cranberry sauce.
But it's funny because this is so typical.

(27:10):
I forget about the goddamn cranberry sauce every other
year. I'll even get it and it's just
in the fucking fridge. I forget about it.
Yeah, we buy it and leave it in the fridge.
It's. Yeah, it's so frustrating 'cause
it's so good. And I don't want the fresh
stuff. Like when you go to Whole Foods
or Sprouts or one of these grocery stores, they have nice,
tasty looking fresh cranberry sauce.
Now I want the Ocean Spray in the can because when you go to

(27:34):
cut it, it has the ridges that were indented from the can and
it makes perfect slices and it goes great with everything.
I love it. Cranberry.
Sauce Should we get multiple pumpkin pies from Costco so that
you can dribble them in the trunk of the car again?
I think that is my new tradition, I think is to sling

(27:55):
them all over the fucking car. How many did?
You buy last year and how many did we not consume because they
were accidentally overturned in the car?
I bought 3, we consume 0. And three fucking pumpkin pies
were toppled over in our car at but not at the same time.

(28:17):
You didn't buy three pies and topple them all at once.
You bought 3 separate times. You bought pie and three
separate you called me and you were like it happened again it.
Did I fucking? Here's what happens because I
don't want to put it in the trunk.
I don't know why I put it on theback.

(28:38):
Seat and put stuff. Around it.
No, no, it's so. Well, the one I did.
You're right. The one I did.
But the other two, the first one.
Oh my God. You guys, you have to understand
something. We have 4 pets, OK?
Pets. As much as we take care of them
and keep the house clean. They poop, they pee, they vomit.
Clean some shit up. I have the dog threw up cat poop

(29:00):
on my lap before and it made me vomit.
This. The pumpkin pies all over the
car is the biggest mess I've ever had to deal with in my
fucking life. I it was full.
Carnage, I swear to God. I'm driving the car I've turned
into a parking lot. I think it was literally I
turned out of the Costco parkinglot and I heard it fling in the

(29:23):
back and I'm like ah damn it. I looked back there and it
appeared as though the person making the pie left the
ingredients in the car and made the pie elsewhere.
It was all over the fucking place.
I don't want to say that you totalled.
The car, but between the three pies, like I don't know if it's
salvageable. It smelled.

(29:46):
Like pumpkin pie in that car until New Year's.
It really did. Yeah, it was.
It was the biggest fucking mess I've ever had to deal with.
That being said, I do love a pumpkin pie after the first
time. You.
It was the first one was in the trunk.
It spilled. Yeah.
OK. The second one, you moved it to

(30:07):
the back seat. OK.
What I don't get is the third one.
What do you mean? How did you spill the third?
One, by the third one, one, I think I would stop buying pies
and two, I think I would be, I would think I would hold the
third pie in my lap like a child, like a lap child on a
plane until I got home. Like, how was there a third

(30:29):
time? Do you want the actual answer?
Yes, the. The actual answer?
Is that I put it in the back seat again thinking that it
couldn't happen a second time and I put stuff around it like
to the sides of it so it wouldn't move and I put shit,
you not put the seat belt acrossit and it still it slipped under

(30:52):
the seat belt. I know.
But I was thinking I. I got to prevent it from
flinging and it slipped below the seat belt and still crashed
and made a whole goddamn mess. So yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a. Yeah, pumpkin pie.
It's good stuff if anyone wants our Kia.
Cell toast when we're done. It has a bunch.

(31:15):
Of pumpkin remnants from last year, Yeah, and unless they.
When they just did the body workafter I got rear-ended.
Maybe they got the pie out. I don't know.
I should have asked them. Just keep an eye out for it.
Yeah, something tells me it was.More chaotic for them to fix or
for you to clean out the pumpkinpie than it was for them to
replace the rear bumper. Yeah, yeah.

(31:38):
Probably. I think you're probably right
about that. Do you have any, aside from the
food, any like fond memories of,of Thanksgiving as a kid?
Or was it just kind of you have a meal, enjoy, move on.
Yeah, we used to go. To Chicago all the time for
Thanksgiving, but I think it's sadder when you stop doing a
tradition that you did every single year so.

(32:02):
It would have maybe. Even been better if we didn't do
a tradition every single year because then it's less sad when
you change it. I mean, there's an.
Adjustment period for sure. There definitely is like the
year that you change things feels weird and then yeah, after
that it kind of feels normal so I would agree with that.
What about Christmas? What about fun Christmas things?

(32:24):
I I don't know if I. Had a bunch of whimsy as a child
either. Maybe I was, maybe I grew up
with no whimsy. Yeah, it kind.
Of sounds like it we had. Christmas was.
Big in our house, yeah, I mean, we had.
Christmas, like we decorated forChristmas.
We opened one present on Christmas Eve or or our
stockings on Christmas Eve and then, yeah, it was pretty.

(32:49):
We would have waffles on Christmas.
Is that, is that, is that fun and cool?
I don't know. No.
Yeah, I think. Our our thing was every year on
Christmas Eve we would have family come over for brunch and
then in the evening on ChristmasEve we would open up presents
from our family from Florida 'cause they would send stuff in
boxes. And then Christmas morning,

(33:12):
pretty typical Christmas morning, my brother would stay
in my room on Christmas Eve night and we'd watch TV until we
fell asleep at like 3:00 AM. So like Christmas Eve into
Christmas, we didn't really sleep.
And I also, I was so excited as a kid that I couldn't sleep.
And I would also try to hear forlike Santa, I would try to hear

(33:35):
if I could hear my parents putting stuff downstairs.
There was one year where they get there was one year where
they gave us a foosball table for Christmas.
And you could tell that it took longer to put together than they
thought it would because they were they didn't sleep.
And that year, on Christmas Day,they they.

(33:56):
Like got. Up we went to bed, they got up
at like midnight or 1:00 AM and went into the garage and we're
in there for like 7 hours putting this thing together.
Oh my. God, it was.
It was a whole thing. But yeah, I mean, the the big
traditions would be those things.
And then I just loved. Every year I'd beg my parents to

(34:16):
bring the the decorations out earlier and earlier.
I loved decorating for Christmas.
I want to. Decorate soon and yes it'll feel
cozy and nice, but it does signify the end of the year and
that does panic me. I get that.
I get that, but I like sitting in the coziness of it for a
while because it is so like glowy and cozy and watch dumb

(34:41):
Hallmark movies for example Christmas with the Dinks.
What age were you when you? Figured out Santa.
Probably 10. Did your older brother?
Spoil it for you? I don't think so.
I think that he kind of to my memory, I think he wanted to let

(35:04):
me believe it as long as I could, I thought.
You were going to say he still. He still believes, he's still a
believer, so. I hope he's not listening to
this. But we also grew.
Up like going to, I went to a Lutheran elementary school.
So I feel like they were always pushing the religious aspect of

(35:26):
Christmas, obviously. And so I think because of how
hard they pushed that I never really was fully on board with
Santa. I don't think because you were
so you were so on. Board with Jesus that you
weren't as much on board with Santa?
Well, it's not about even. Me being on board with him as
much as like the adults around me were like, this is a Jesus

(35:47):
holiday, not the commercialization of Santa
Claus. But also give us your money, you
know? Anyway, what about you?
When did you stop? Or did you ever believe in
Santa? I did, but I was pretty.
Young when I when I sussed it out, I think I was like 8.
I feel like you. Go ahead.

(36:11):
I just pictured a. Young Katie Like.
Talking to your. Parents like if this Santa's
real I want to meet him and havetrying to have like a
confrontation with Santa. The thing is.
I busted the case wide open and I sat my mom on the front stoop
of our house in Charlotte and I said, look, I, I have, I have

(36:39):
some suspicions about the EasterBunny and the tooth fairy and
Santa and I like, I like ruined my own childhood within a 10
minute conversation 'cause I busted wide open about all
three. It was tooth.
Fairy Gate, that is so. Oh yeah, I think.

(37:02):
What got it is like, I couldn't get behind a giant Bunny.
I was like, I've seen, listen, I've seen bunnies and they top
out at 5 lbs Max. You know what I mean?
I agree. And so then I was.
Like. If the bunny's not real, guess
what else isn't? Guess what else isn't?
The tooth Fairy. Oh, and fucking Santa.

(37:25):
You know what? I I.
Completely agree with you. I feel like the the weakest link
in that equation is the Easter Bunny.
Yeah, and they don't. Help each other out like the the
PR for these. They aren't like corroborating
their stories, No. Yeah.
Easter Bunny needs a different publicist for sure, so I think.
'Cause like what is the vibe with him?

(37:46):
He goes, he hops around and brings children Easter baskets E
Santa Claus with. Ears basically, right?
So you're telling me? That Santa does this and also a
giant Bunny does this. No, something's wrong.
No way. So I sat my mom down and was
like, tell me the truth. And then and then I remember.

(38:07):
She'll probably remember it differently since all my
childhood memories are wrong, but she I remember her being
like wait I just lost my train of thought.
Oh no, about the Easter Bunny. Yeah, Santa Claus, 2 Point O
hopping around, bringing gifts. Horse out of the barn.
Horse in the barn. Horse out of the barn.

(38:28):
Horse in the barn. Your mom was like about the
Easter Bunny. She's about to shit on him.
You know what helps? Someone's memory when you just
like monologue in their ear and don't let them remember.
I don't know, I I remember her being like, don't tell your
brother or like, like I. Remember it being like?

(38:50):
Keep the secret, that's what it was.
I remember giving her a hard time that she ever lied to me
about it. I remember being like.
If you lied about these three. If you lied about Santa and the
Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, what else are you lying
about? Oh my God, how old were?

(39:11):
You 8. I think I was 8.
And I was like, So what else areyou lying about that is single?
Handedly the most Katie coded story I've ever heard.
And then she was like. Nothing.
Like that's it. I'm not lying about other stuff.
And I was like, yeah, you would say that, you know, you have
told. Me liar you've you've told me

(39:33):
throughout the course of our relationship that for a large
part of your childhood you wanted to be a spy and I the.
More that you. Tell like that story and I think
about the spy saying and like I feel like that is a legit career
path that you could go down because you are very like
centered in this. You want justice and want the

(39:57):
truth and I feel like. I feel like that that is, were
you a spy in a previous life? Maybe I maybe did the past life.
Progression. But you have multiple past.
Lives so maybe in a different past life I was I just have so
many questions like if I'm. Not a good candidate.
For the government to pluck me out of my regular life and make

(40:18):
me a spy like Sydney Brousseau, an alias.
Deep cut. Thank you if you understand the
reference. If I'm not a good candidate, who
is? You know what I mean?
What are they doing? Sleeping.
Sleeping on me. And they could have had me from
a young age 'cause I had the desire.
And I had and at the time still remembered Morse code, so it

(40:40):
would have been great. I'm telling you, I think you'd
be an. Incredible spy.
And frankly, I I'm a little nervous that you are now that we
talk about it so much, it's likehiding in what are they hiding
in plain sight type things, you know?
Oh yeah. 'Cause this is exactly what a
spy would say. Yeah, you would joke about.

(41:00):
It and be like yeah, that'd be crazy if I was a spy, right.
I don't know that's I will figure it out.
That's why I'm always. Gone doing shows?
Yep. Yep, and all the shows that you
take pictures at. Those are all just government
cover ups. Totally.
Happy. We hope you all, we're going to

(41:20):
talk to you after Thanksgiving next.
So we hope you have a happy Thanksgiving.
Kids are no kids. Take the time, enjoy, enjoy the
time with your friends and family or your found family,
whatever it is you do, and slam.Down those Tofurky loafs.
That's right. Get your tofurky on.
You often send me videos on TikTok.

(41:41):
I send you videos on TikTok. You do you watch mine.
I've often, I'll admit, forget that the inbox is a thing on
TikTok and I don't watch them until you tell me to.
I watch yours. It's a one way fucking
relationship in this marriage, it kind of is.
I don't disagree with you, but you sent me a couple videos from
an account named just Julia and these are some questions

(42:05):
prompted. I don't really understand the
way that she sets it up though. Can you explain this?
It's like when. Couples want to like instigate a
But would you still love me if Iwas, you know, if I had no arms,
if I was a worm, Would you stilllove me if I whatever.

(42:27):
Like there's. It's fill in the blank.
Would you still love me if I? And then you can either have fun
conceptualizing it or sometimes people in the comments joke
like, yeah, good. I wanted an argument today.
Like, I wanted to pick a fight. Yeah.
But so there's some people that.Like to pick a fight like a dumb
little like innocuous fight. I guess my question.

(42:50):
Is and I'm a fan, I like these questions, but is is the worm
one like the most common becauseshe she quotes the Worm one
quite a bit or is it not? It's just it's just the example.
Yeah, I think that's like. An overarching common one and
then it it's like fill in the blank after that.
These are great though. Do you want to do a few?

(43:11):
Yeah. OK, here is the first.
One welcome back to questions. That are better than Would you
still love me if I was a worm? We have a doozy today.
If I was turned into a baby likein the movie Sky High where the
evil villain has a ray gun that turns people into babies.
And if I was turned into a baby,would you raise me and take care

(43:35):
of me even though that means that we would never be able to
be together romantically ever again?
OK. Would do you want to?
Answer this first or should I? I want you to go first, but I
agree. Solid sky high reference, great
movie, sick deep cut. Would I raise you if you were a

(43:56):
baby? No.
If I was. If I was a baby, you wouldn't
raise me, No. Why?
Because you'd be like every. Other baby and I'm not
interested in raising any baby so you're you're not like a
special baby that I want to raise and then also in the

(44:18):
context of our lives like we're partners and in this context, no
offense, but you're bringing nothing to the table as a baby
hey as. A baby what?
Value you you worthless. Bag of shit.
Wow. OK.

(44:39):
I mean, I guess I suppose there's like multiple angles
here because that's also my response.
I would not want to raise you ifyou were a baby.
Why? Why am I?
Like hell yeah about my answer, but then when you say you don't
want to raise me, I'm offended. I mean I've for probably the
same. Reason I was offended, but

(45:00):
here's the thing. The difference is I was a great
baby and I was basically an adult in a baby body.
Yeah, that sounds. Fucking horrible.
That sounds horrible. I was like all those little.
Kids we see at restaurants that like order for themselves and
are really polite and perfect. That was me.

(45:20):
OK, I love you. I am deeply in love with you,
You're my soul mate. All of the above.
Having a child that questions everything I do is my worst
fucking nightmare. You know what I mean?
Like. If I the the alternate universe
where I'm a parent, I'm a parentto a child that I can lie to

(45:41):
about everything and they believe everything I say not at
8 comes up to me and says why did you fucking lie to me about
the tooth fairy? Yeah.
You know what I mean? And what else does?
This implicate you in right? Where does the buck stop, Dad?
Anyway, that's a good one, and we both have the same answer, so

(46:02):
we can't be upset about it, right?
All right, let's do another one.Let's do another one.
This is just Julia on TikTok. They're better than Would you
still love me? If I was a worm.
Today we return to the clones. If you found.
Out that. Halfway through our
relationship, I had been replaced with a clone version of
myself and that the me in front of you today who's talking to

(46:24):
you, that I was a clone and thatthe original me was still out
there. Would you abandon me to go look
for the original version of me, or would you stay with the me,
now the clone who's been with you for the second-half of our
relationship? Easy.
This one's so easy, OK? I go huh?
That's interesting. Yeah.
I hope she's having a good life and I stay with the clown,

(46:46):
obviously. But the first half of our.
Relationship was the original me.
Oh, I. See.
OK, wait. OK, this is harder than I
thought. I misunderstood the question.
Yeah. I misunderstood.
Holy shit. OK, this is way more
complicated. I don't want to answer this one

(47:08):
first you go. I.
There's only one to me. Wait.
To me, there's only two options.OK.
I mean, yeah, there's there is literally only two options I
think. No, no, no.
Love like, ways to move forward,whatever.
You'll understand when I say it.Got it.

(47:29):
Kill the clone. Subscribe.
Kill. The clone.
And find the real you. Or find the real you and just
date both of you because you're the same person.
But it'd be too weird if the original you is out there and
I'm just with the clone. I feel like I have to either be

(47:50):
with both of you or kill the clone.
Kill the clone or be both. OK, wow, OK, so it's like a
weird. Throuple with two Camerons and
one Katie or I kill the clone. I have a question.
Why does? Anybody need to die in this
scenario? What am I supposed to do with

(48:10):
the? Clone.
You. Don't.
You're not responsible. No, you don't have to kill the
clone. It can go live like an
independent life, right? So someone else is going.
To marry your clone, Sure, it's a different.
Person technically, but then I've been with the clone.

(48:32):
This whole time. See, This is why the question.
Is asked because it's so complicated.
Fine, what would you? Do with my clone and me I OK I.
Was going to say I was going to say stay with the clone and stay
with the clone. Now here's why hang on stay with
the clone or I didn't realize that like having both of you

(48:57):
would be an option that that I could see that working too.
But the reason I say the clone is because what are you giving
me that face for in the middle? Because you got to like, think.
Outside the box? What do you mean an OP?
You didn't know it was an option?
I didn't. I thought it was either.
You pick one or the other. I didn't know it both was an
option, but the reason I say theclone is because you that person

(49:23):
has all of the memories and the personality and everything of
the first half, but also the second-half and the.
The more time that we spent. Together, the more that that
informs our entire life and likeso the original.
Yeah, the original me. Doesn't have the memories from

(49:47):
the last whatever 10 years or something, but the clone.
Has all the memories, sure. I mean, it'd be weird.
It'd be a hard. Choice but and see in my
scenario how nobody dies though.Easy, I fucking kill the clone.
You want to commit? OK, let's do another one.

(50:09):
These these next few were not vetted, so no promises welcome.
Back to even. More questions that are better
than Would you still love me if I was a worm today featuring
Phoebe. Today's question If every year I
grew a new tooth in my mouth, a baby tooth that started to form

(50:31):
like a shark, a second ring of teeth in my mouth starting in
the back, how many years would it take before you noticed that
I was growing new teeth? Are you not one?
1111 year one. Year, in fact.

(50:52):
And one. Two, I would notice if there
were any extra teeth or any. Missing teeth?
We. But I thought that.
OK, let's change the question a little bit because that's too
easy. How long would you stay with me
if I had shark teeth that were developing every year and they
just kept adding rows till the end of time?

(51:15):
So when I'm 90 I have like 7 rows of teeth.
I mean, I don't that's a hard one, is it?
Yeah, what? What's your answer?
I think I would wait for like. One extra row and then by the
time we got to like 3, I think if we got to three rows, that's

(51:38):
so crazy and creepy. Like I don't think I could get
past it. Or could you pull them?
Maybe we could pull them? You're sick.
You're sick. That means the longer we stay
together, the more torture I getto experience because I keep
either pull them or. Do you not want to be with me

(51:59):
bad enough to pull the teeth? Do you?
Not want to be with me bad enough to look at the teeth I
don't want. Like a shredded up face if we
kiss like you have. A shark mouth.
The scenario I. Would stay with you like.
Let's say it topped out at. I mean, how many?

(52:20):
I guess it can top out like 70 rows of teeth or something,
right? Yeah, a lot.
Of lot I think I would. I could make it about halfway.
I could make it about halfway before you were like, I'm with.
This weird shark wife and it's. Yeah.
And then like the clown. You'd have to die, you know, you

(52:42):
would just have to die. I think they declined.
In goodness, as the questions went on, but we did our best.
I like we do one more. It's really funny.
Oh my God. OK.
Just one more I don't know, but these are.
Fun. The shark one was interesting.
Hello. And welcome back.
To even more questions that are better than Would you still love

(53:03):
me if I was a worm? Today's question is kind of a
tough one. If I had an attempt on my life
made by a serial killer and I was put into witness protection,
what would you do? Now, I'm anticipating a couple
of different common answers to this question, so I've prepared
a couple of stock responses to any of those common answers.

(53:27):
First one is I would wait for you.
You're not even going to try to find me.
You don't love me. Enough to even.
Cut to try to So what Is she OK?So she's saying you were
targeted by a serial killer unsuccessfully.
You're now in witness protection, right?

(53:47):
Of course I would try to find you.
Right. And would you try to enter
witness protection with me? Abso fucking lutely.
I would. What kind of question is that?
I know, that's what I'm saying. I don't know that all of these
are winners because I would definitely look for you.
I wouldn't just go. That's weird.
He disappeared. Oh, he didn't come.
Home today for dinner. All right.

(54:08):
Well, it was a good run. Yeah.
All right, well. Those were fun.
Maybe we can we can look throughthem.
But it's just. Julia just Julia on on TikTok.
Before we go I'm going to read 1message we got from a listener
and then we have a quick game atthe end here.

(54:30):
This is from Jen who sent us a message on Instagram and she
said Katie and Cameron, what is your most selfish reason to
remain child free? Your most selfish reason to
remain child free. It's a great question.
And we talk about honestly, it'smostly selfish and selfish has

(54:53):
like a negative connotation to it.
But I think in this scenario, it's it, it can be a good thing.
We are aware of the selfishness and want to lean in, you know?
Yeah, I'm trying to discern. Which of my reasons is the most
selfish? I mean, maybe I would consider

(55:13):
most selfish in this scenario, like most selfish with my time
for like putting it towards my career instead of a child.
But maybe I could look at this question as most surface.
What is it called? Surface level?

(55:33):
Yeah. And I guess I would say in that
sense, so that I don't ever get spit up on and have to change my
clothes and do extra laundry. Oh, that's a good one.
That's a. Really good one.
You know. What is the most selfish reason

(55:55):
for? Me.
Honestly, this one this. One comes to mind recently for
some reason. We talk about the money thing
all the time. That's up there for sure.
I think the most selfish reason for me is like sleep it, it's
and it's, it's not even like, oh, 'cause I get more sleep.
It's like I don't have to. I can do whatever I want with my

(56:16):
sleep. If if we have a night where we
want to stay up until 4:00 AM watching episodes of Love Island
because it's so good and we can't put it down, I want to be
able to do that and and then nothave a screaming.
Child jumping on you at 7:00 AM?Yeah, and if that means I got 4.
Hours of sleep or three hours ofsleep or whatever it is, then I

(56:38):
like OK, I can accept that for one day because I don't have to
take care of anybody else other than myself and you.
I also just think once you. Have a kid, you're just always
tired until the end of time. Like you're never not tired.
Especially the first few years, it seems.
But thank you for the question, Jen.
Yeah, good question. Keep them.

(56:59):
Coming, I think our second, our first episode is all of our most
our top reasons. Yeah, yeah.
Definitely go back and listen tothat, but we wanted to end today
because we didn't have, turns out this week, faith in
humanity. We did not witness the child

(57:19):
that touched our hearts. And so we're going to do
something different, which is what Babe it is.
Basically, would you rather? So what would you rather do?
That does usually pain you, but what would you rather do than
have a child? What?
Did we want to? Call it didn't What?
Didn't I have a fun name? You did have a fun name.

(57:43):
Damn. It anyhow.
Here we oh, Katie's choice. It's like Sophie's choice so
it's have a kid or blank. So would you rather honey?
Would you rather so you pick oneand you leave one at the train
station or whatever? Getting Sophie's Choice, Katie's
Choice. OK, Katie's choice.

(58:03):
Would you rather have a kid or have to deal with taking me to
the Apple store and wiping my phone every single week for the
rest of our lives? Oh fuck.
Oh, I think I'd rather take you to the Apple Store every week

(58:26):
for the rest of our lives. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, and I and I knew that one
would be hard it. Sucks, but it's one.
Day a week, I can stomach that, you know?
Yeah, one day a week. We, I bring that up because we
did recently go to the Apple Store and we had to wipe my
phone and it was very stressful and I did have a panic attack
and nothing makes sense and nothing makes sense in the cloud

(58:46):
and my phone's not backed up andwhy isn't it just working?
It's fucking iPhone 17 or whatever and it can't just do
its own job. I don't understand technology,
nor do I want to, nor do I like the Apple Store, and I don't
like the way they talk down to me.
So it's a lot of stress. But I would rather do.
I agree with you. I would rather do that once a
week than have a kid. Do you have one for me?

(59:10):
Yeah. I mean, I'll.
I'll. Flip the same kind of scenario.
I'll think of another one too, but I'll flip that scenario back
towards you and say would you rather have a new phone that you
have to transfer into every day for the rest of your life or
have a kid? My God, that's like.
It's like giving me stress hivesjust thinking about it.

(59:31):
But I still would do the phone because I think that it would
take me like an hour of I would have like an hour long panic
attack while transferring all mystuff every single day.
But then I have the rest of my day to be myself.
And if you have a kid that's 24/7.
So yeah, that's a good one. That's a good point.

(59:52):
All right. Do you have another one?
Yes. Would you rather or Katie's
choice? Yes, Katie's choice.
Be the last. Person, no matter what row, no
matter what seat you're in, be the last person to deplane on

(01:00:13):
every flight you ever take for the rest of your life.
Or have a kid. I'd take the flights.
Easily because I don't fly that much like I fly a couple times a
year, but like, but you have to wait.
That would be a different. You have to wait and watch.
Everyone else, get off before you.
All the douchey people that are pushing past you.
I get it. I get.

(01:00:33):
It. But I mean that pales in
comparison to a child every day of my life, don't you think?
Yeah. Would you rather?
Never Would you rather never or Katie's choice never see your
friends again or have a child? Get it?

(01:00:54):
If you have a child, you. Never see your friends again.
Oh, getting. Getting.
Lol I'm. Trying to think of another good
one. Yeah, I think we should keep
doing. It I think we should keep doing
it. Yeah, I think it's a good.
Little Ender and people can answer too and DM us your

(01:01:15):
answers if you want do it. Do it, do it, Do it at the
Dinksideod on the Instagram. All right, Have a happy
Thanksgiving, everyone. Gobble gobble, bitch.