#8 | Benihana Drama, FIREs, & New Years

Today on PCQ - we recap the holidays, introduce the world to the latest DINK-like group - FIRES, New Years, and we saw Marty Supreme...

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
There's a new term buzzing on the Internet, Dick.
Dual income? No, kid, you probably have an
opinion on these people or an opinion on people who have an
opinion on these people. America's birth rate has hit its
lowest point in more than a century.
Some are blaming it on infertility.
Others say the state of the world is causing couples to
think twice about having children.

(00:21):
Childless marriages could be a good thing if they were a result
of God's sovereign providential work.
Oh my God, can't even hear you. They like avocado toast and
brunches out and going to plays and having sweet vacations.
Yeah, you're probably super selfish.
Kids are better than brunch. Wrong.
And then there's another group of young couples that want the

(00:43):
lifestyle of childless households and the lifestyle it
brings with it. Thanks.
Welcome to The DINK Side, the podcast about life, laughs and
living child free. We are a double income, no kids
couple navigating the UPS, the downs and hilarious in betweens
of choosing a different path in a world that won't stop asking.
So when are you having kids? The answer may not surprise you.

(01:07):
It is, in fact, never. Never.
The whole idea behind the podcast.
Happy new year everybody. Happy New Year.
Happy 2026 with a sparkle in oureyes sort of.
And sorry we were gone for a fewweeks.
If you can't tell from my voice,I lost my voice for like 3

(01:29):
weeks. Yeah, actually like it.
It was. We had a really weird bug.
You lost your voice. Then we both got this really bad
cough that lasted a long time. And I do have to say though, it
made me thankful because we honestly don't get sick very
often. And part of the reason we don't
get sick very often is because kids do not bring all the germs

(01:51):
home. Yeah.
Also imagine getting sick and not like and not being able to
just rest. You have to take care of
children that need you to live. And also imagine losing your
voice and having kids. How are you supposed to
communicate with them? That would be insane.

(02:12):
I have this memory of when I wasa child and there was, there was
one year where there was four people in my family, me, my
brother, my mom and my dad, and we all got the stomach flu at
the same time. And like, there was, I don't
think I've ever been around thatmuch vomit in my life.
And the thought of having to, I mean, I'm serious.

(02:34):
Like there was a point at which both toilets in the house were
being used and I had to go find a different receptacle.
And I, I just, now that I've looked back at that moment, I'm
like, I don't, how would you take care of your kid?
Your head's in the toilet. Right.
And like, how do you communicate?
How would I have communicated with a child if I'm have no

(02:56):
voice? Also like you can't tell me that
it's going to be OK when you're scream puking into a toilet too.
No, it was scary times. I think I would tell a kid.
Like, I honestly don't know if we're going to make it.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna level with you, Johnny.
It's not looking good. Yeah, We started off the year

(03:19):
with a couple of bangs. Quite a quite a few bangs.
And by bangs you mean vet bills?Yeah, never been more thankful
that A, we don't have children that we have to pay for and B,
that we have kept our pet healthinsurance because, my God, we
needed it this past. Week, I just want to say there

(03:42):
have been multiple times in our relationship where you have
pitched the idea to me to cancelthe pet insurance and cooler
heads prevailed. Yeah, cooler heads did prevail.
And what's weird about the timing of it all is every time
through the course of our relationship that I've talked
about canceling it almost immediately, we use it.

(04:04):
OK, but I I don't like thinking of it like that.
Well, I'm not going to ever. I'm not ever going to suggest
ever again that we can. Ever again.
Ever again. Like, because we had, we, we had
two experiences this past week and then your, your mom had a
traumatic experience with her dog several months ago.
We talked about. But yeah, so we had to take both

(04:27):
of our dogs to the emergency vetseparately from one another
within the period of a week. Dog #1 Daisy, she had to go in
because we took her to the park and she went too hard.
She she, to be clear, ran too fast.
She got too happy. And sprained her own leg on

(04:50):
grass. There was no other dog involved.
She was not tussling with another dog.
And I'd like to be clear again, she was on leash.
She was on leash. This was a public park.
It was not a dog park. We were just running around with
her because it was nice out. It was sunny, it had been
raining. We're like, let's go over there
and let her have a blast. So we did and she went too hard.

(05:12):
She started limping around with her back left little knee.
She was holding her leg in the air.
Doing the thing where they won'teven touch it to the ground.
So first I was like there's something in her paw, like
sticking her in the paw or and then fully just thought she was
broken. Yeah, but also, I got to say
pretty impressive when dogs do that because they just like walk

(05:34):
at a normal speed but hold one leg up in the air.
Yeah, it's pretty impressive. She just continued life as
usual. I know she wasn't.
Honestly, she wasn't fazed mentally, she seemed totally
fine. She was just like, oh, this
pesky leg. So we took her in.
Oh, I can't use this leg anymore.
It's. Over She was like, she was
totally Co signing what happened.

(05:55):
She was like, you know what comes with the territory?
It was fun to run. Worth it.
Yeah, it's like a damn hockey player or something.
But yeah, we immediately took her to the vet.
They took an X-ray of her tiny chicken body, which was
hilarious. Oh my God, it was the best.
It's funny because once you findout the dog is fine then you can

(06:15):
laugh at their dumb X-ray and her body was intact and she just
sprained a muscle. X-rays of dogs are the best.
It it really like when everything is going OK like you
said, it becomes cute. Do you think that children
X-rays would be cute or not really?
I OK, I've thought about this very hard actually, because I

(06:39):
had that thought when we went tothe vet both times and my answer
is absolutely not. I think children X-rays probably
look like little aliens, don't you think?
I mean, it's just miniature human bones, so I think there's
a. Lot of people.
That think they're cute? Well, sure, but like a lot of

(07:01):
kids are grow, are born with like a larger head and a smaller
body because they end up like growing into it.
And I just feel like it would look like a little alien.
I don't know. Well, a lot of time they don't
put their head in the X-ray. That's true.
That's there's probably scientific reasons for that, but
that's see that I don't know. I just I'm just not comfortable

(07:24):
with it. But we ended up going like what
you said to the to the ER vet and the bill there 1300 dollars,
1300 dollars. Getting that pet insurance
deductible met in 2 days. Immediately and then Fast
forward a couple days later. This was in fact last night.

(07:47):
We woke up in the middle of the night to our other dog, Maddie.
7 LB miniature pincher doing what can only be described as
what would you say? Like a gurgle burp slash hiccup.
You cough talking about it as a burp.
I thought it was like a choke. He seemed like he was choking.

(08:08):
Well, he did like this. This swallow choke thing
followed by like a burp gurgle thing.
It was very weird. It was really weird and it made
us think that he ate something out of the trash while we were
asleep and that it was stuck in his esophagus.
And he was like, he was doing labored breathing and he wasn't
throwing up, but he wouldn't getback in bed.

(08:29):
And he gave us those like the ohshit eyes.
Everybody that has a dog knows that they have that oh shit
face. Every dog's is different, but
they have that look they give you and they're like hey mom
slash dad. I fucked up.
I fucked up, please help me. And that was the face he was.
Giving I fucked up, I can't speak English and I think I'm

(08:51):
dying. Yes, every dog has it.
And to be fair, I believe in my heart that he did think he was
dying. Yeah, but also, to be fair, he
thinks he's dying when the wind blows.
I know, but that is what we should have taken into account.
Well, you can never be too too safe and Daisy had already

(09:12):
racked up the deductible, so we did.
We decided to take Maddie and inthe middle of the night to.
The ER 3:30 AM to 6:30 AM. So we are both doing this
podcast on a collective total oflike 3 hours of sleep between
the two of us. That might even be generous.
That might be generous. I'm not even totally sure how

(09:33):
long we were unconscious. It might have been 45 minutes, I
don't know. But three hours at the emergency
vet? Drumroll, please.
What was wrong with him? Let's see, They scanned his his
lungs, his trachea, his esophagus, his pipes, his heart,
his bones, his blood. His stomach.

(09:54):
I assume he swallowed something honey.
No. He has a cold.
He has a puppy cold. He has a fucking cold.
And yes, we're happy. We're happy that nothing serious
is wrong with them, of course. And also, what the fuck?

(10:19):
Do you know how silly it feels to be sitting there and them
come back with X-rays, blood work, all this science, and then
you're sitting in an emergency vet at 5:30 AM and they go he
has a cold. Like what?
And you know, they do the whole thing where you bring him in and

(10:40):
they're, they do the papers and they're like, oh, we'll take him
to the back and take a look and we'll have the doctor and we'll,
we'll inject him with things andscan him and all it.
So it you start telling yourselfthings about like what happened,
what's wrong with him? And they just, they come back
with cough drops for him. Yeah, puppy cough drops.
And also we were going like 8590miles an hour on the highway to

(11:03):
get to this vet. And like we, there was a moment
where I was holding him and his eyes were closing and I was
like, Maddie, stay awake. Like 'cause I thought like every
moment counted of getting to thevet and he has a cold and it's
like, thank God it's a cold. But we were panicked.
We were fear stricken is. But here's the thing, I'm not

(11:27):
trying to say we have it harder than parents of children, but I
am saying that I think with a child, unless they're like 1
year old, they can kind of speakEnglish and like point at what
hurts, right? Yeah.
I mean, I, I to some extent, yeah.

(11:47):
For. Sure.
Like you can kind of tell if it's like life or death and you
can kind of tell if you can waittill the morning, right?
I I would think so, but that first year I'm sure is
terrifying. Sure, the first year when they
can't even like be a human and they're just like a potato that

(12:09):
screams and shits, then I'm surethat's really scary.
But it is like once you have a six year old that gets sick, yes
that sucks ass cuz then they just cry and cry and cry.
But they can kind of speak English and communicate what's
wrong. Like my tummy hurts.
That's true. And then you're like, OK, how,

(12:30):
what, how does it hurt? Do you might have gas or like?
Right. I mean, let's compare Maddie,
our dog to a child. He is 4.
If you had a four year old child, he would be able to tell
you I I have a sore throat like it is.
So you're right, it is weird andit's I'm sorry.
How have they not invented the technology to know what dogs are

(12:51):
thinking yet? Yeah, but The thing is, Maddie
would have been thinking I'm dying.
That's true because that's. The way he feigns.
He was like, I shit you not, like we were sitting at the vet
waiting for them to go in because, and this is the other
thing, emergency vet or not, there's always a damn wait.

(13:14):
Even if there's no animals there, you've got to wait if
it's. 4:00 in the morning, they just say there's a wait.
I know but so we're sitting there and I swear he's looking
at us with the eyes of like I'm I better say my goodbyes and
it's like he the dude has a cold.
So anyway, we racked up another 1000 bucks there.

(13:34):
Just submitted that to to pet insurance.
Oh. Yeah, that was 1200.
Oh yeah, you're. Right, 1200 with the medicine I
forgot. 1200 and 1300, so we're starting the year out with $2500
of vet bills. Fuck yeah.
But again, costs like 20 grand to have a baby.
So we're still, I think we're still not at that threshold.

(13:56):
But yeah, I mean, I I'm stressedout with our dogs and our cats
and I can't imagine the stress level of of having a newborn.
Some of our friends just had a baby.
I don't know how they're not stressing out the entire time.
One of my cousins had a baby andhad to take it to the hospital
within like the first 3 days. Yeah, and didn't you say that

(14:17):
you're our friend who just had an infant, has the 4:00 AM and
on shift? Yeah. 4:00 AM and on shift.
That's like if we went to the emergency vet every day.
I know, I know. That's crazy.
It's rough, right? Every.
Day, But I mean, it is good newsthat they had their baby because

(14:41):
I was stressed out about it morethan they were.
So I'm glad that that chapter has come to a.
Close A wild thing to say out. Loud, I think I was.
OK. I was, I was, I kept texting
like every other day is did did it come yet?
Did everything What's going on? I don't know why I was stressed.
OK, But yeah, we had oh, by the way, on this note really quick,

(15:06):
I want to get into some holiday stuff that happened, but I have
been having a reoccurring dream that involves you.
Well, and I don't know. I think when people say this,
there's never like a good dream that comes after it.

(15:26):
I I kind of think that I, I think you're wrong about this
one. OK.
I have been having a dream that we, our dogs are our children
and it's happened about five Times Now.
So basically what happens is like it's a dream where
everything seems normal. We're having a normal day and

(15:47):
then you and I are like in the house and you're like Maddie
Daisy and kids run into the kitchen or wherever.
I one of the times we went outside with leashes around
their necks. And what this means to me, I
think is that is that those are our children, our dogs and our
cats. They're our kids, They're our

(16:08):
fur babies, and that's like a cool thing.
Wow. That's my interpretation.
Wow, really? You could have a side job as a
dream interpreter, that is. Thanks.
That is deep next level findings.
Thank you. I thought so.
Yeah, that's horrifying. I think I do.

(16:33):
I do view them as our children, but I don't.
Is it like your subconscious thinking we're going to have
kids now? No, absolutely not.
Absolutely not. I haven't woken up in the
moment. I'm not even it's weird.
Like I'm not even picturing themor I'm not viewing them as our
as our human children in the in the dream.

(16:56):
Oh wait, 'cause I was. They are.
Human in the dream, but I'm not like I'm still thinking like
these are our pets even though they're kids.
OK so but now I need to know what did they look like?
I that is kind of fuzzy for me. Oh my God, you're no fun.
That's kind of fuzzy for me. You've had a five time dream

(17:16):
about the dogs being human children.
You don't know what they look like.
Like I think if I'm remembering correctly Daisy wears like
overalls and has like pigtails and Maddie I'd I just see him as
like a he's tiny. He's still small even though
he's a human kid. It's like a Tiny Tim.

(17:37):
Yeah, he's kind of like a Tiny Tim.
Yeah. And then Daisy's like a tomboy.
And she I assume is blonde and Maddie has dark hair.
Yeah, he no, Maddie's black. Wait, Maddie is an African
American child? You could have said that part.

(17:57):
Well, I didn't. I didn't want to come out of the
gate with the heat, but like, yeah, they just look like they
do in real life, but in human form.
I don't know. It's very interesting.
I don't know, I feel like someone's going to try to cancel
us about this. About what?
Yeah, I mean, probably whatever.I'm not saying it's a bad
nothing. No part of this is bad.

(18:18):
It just. I think it's interesting this
keeps happening and like I thinkin one of the dreams you even
you were like feeding them the same way we feed our dogs and
like giving them treats and likemaking them do tricks.
It was very weird. It's very weird.
I don't know the meaning of it all.
Yeah, I mean, I would petition to your subconscious for you to
stop having that dream. I mean, I've tried maybe that

(18:42):
you just did that. I'll, I'll stop with that dream
now. Sure.
But anyway, I thought I should share it.
I thought it was relevant, hoping everybody had a really
good holiday here in Southern California.
It's just been raining the entire time, which is kind of
been a bummer. But it was a good excuse to do
fun things inside, like going todinner.
And one of our Christmas traditions every year is to eat

(19:05):
at Benihana. Yeah.
And this is a good tradition. Happy office Christmas party,
Benihana mess. Yes.
To all that celebrate it, we just it's you, me and mom and we
just live our hibachi best lives.

(19:26):
Yeah, it's so good. And to be fair, the family at
our table, 'cause it's like a table for 8 to 10 or whatever.
So we're three people on one endand then the other end is
another family. And the people at our table were
lovely. They were perfectly lovely, very
polite. Tipped the tipped the chef as he

(19:48):
left. All you could, all you could
really ask for, you know, it's just that the people right
across from us at another table,2 separate families that banded
together in a horrific black hole of bitch ass negativity.
Oh. My God, the entire time.

(20:08):
It was at at first the nosy bitch in me was like, hell yeah,
let's eat up this hot Goss. What are they saying?
Hopefully, hopefully they talk louder so we can hear why they
want the manager and what was happening with the server and
the chef and why are they unhappy and what happened with

(20:29):
their food and La La La La la. And then about 7 minutes later I
was like OK shut the fuck up nowit's time to be done.
Go home crazy people. Yeah, and it was one of those
situations where they pull the person over and they're
complaining about everything left, right and center, but they
also ate all of their. Food.
They ate every single bite of food on all of their plates and

(20:52):
like they literally complained to the manager trying to get a
free meal for everyone at the table. 2 separate families
banded together after the entireexperience was over.
The chef had cooked for them, cleaned for them.
They had boxes by the way they got to go drinks and boxes for

(21:12):
the food they complained about. Right.
It was so bad they wanted to take it home.
Oh it was so bad, we want it in a box and I wanted to go drink.
Why don't you just want to leaveyou fucking idiot.
I know the manager did stand up to them at 1st and was like yeah
but you ate it all. Right.
And I like if I was him, I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

(21:33):
But then. They like, but then they
wouldn't leave and they wouldn'tpay.
So then he had to like cave and comp their check or whatever.
But the worst part of this and why we're bringing it up is
because at this table was 2, like 12 year old girls, two kids
watching this behavior happen from their parents and looking

(21:56):
mortified like they wanted to kill.
Themselves, they were so embarrassed and I, I fell for
them, honestly, I really did because I was like, this is the
worst because you're setting a horrible example, first of all,
and second of all, you're putting your kid through like
the ringer. I mean, there, there's nothing
more embarrassing than when you're that age, somebody acting

(22:19):
out like that. It could be a friend, a friend,
a family member, it doesn't matter.
It was so damn embarrassing. Yeah, and social anxiety.
And it didn't stop like it was we were there the entire time we
were there. It was.
It was happening. It was our whole meal.
They didn't leave until we started paying for our food.

(22:40):
And not only that, we get to theparking lot and this lady is
like complaining to the valet attendant.
She's complaining to everybody she sees.
Yeah, the valet guy was like, OK, I don't care that you didn't
like your meal experience. And it's, it's like, I know I
will say the two girls, the kidssat there silently and like very

(23:06):
well behaved and they weren't like part of the problem.
And they just kind of sat there like catatonic basically.
And it's just like insane to me that hopefully, I mean, best
case scenario is that they're embarrassed by this behavior and
they don't become those kinds ofadults.

(23:26):
But worst case scenario is theirparents are showing them that
this is OK and they become thoseexact adults.
I know, I know, which is possible because this if this
happened on Christmas Day, like there it's happening basically
every time they go to dinner to some extent.
Christmas fucking day. And it's also like, I just

(23:48):
wanted to lean over because you almost wanted to get involved
and be like, hey, what is it going to take for you to leave?
Do you want the whole staff to cry?
I know what it what is going to make you feel better about this
situation? Because also, when we were
listening to them complain, it was like, oh, our server seemed
like they didn't want to be here.

(24:09):
Well, it's Christmas Day. Why would you want to be here,
you fucking asshole? Right, you're being a Dick.
Like she was like Oh my husband ordered fried rice and he got
regular rice and it's like OK again it's Christmas Day, maybe
you could just have told them and got the rice you needed and
not waited till the end of the meal to complain.

(24:31):
We literally were vegetarian andthey cooked chicken fried rice
and gave it to us and we're like, Oh my, our bad.
But we didn't know this was going to be cooked with meat.
Can we get a vegetarian version?And they were like, yeah, no
problem. Went and gone.
Great. And and I was like, I'm so
sorry. Like I must have misunderstood.
I thought it was vegetable friedrice.

(24:52):
And they were like, Oh no, no, it's OK, it's OK.
We'll get you a new one. And immediately, immediately.
It's not that fucking hard to bea nice person if your shit's
messed up. I just my favorite part of the
whole thing was this lady at thetable.
She kept saying this is like hermain argument because the guy

(25:12):
was like, well, you ate all the food and she's like, it's
Christmas Day, where else are wegoing to go?
McDonald's As if a eating home wasn't an option, right?
As if microwave pizza wasn't an option.
As if. I mean, there's most grocery
stores are closed, but there's plenty that are still open.
Like there's so many options, don't you?

(25:33):
That Christmas Day does not entitle you to a free meal at
Benihana like. No, she just wanted, needed her
dirty Shirley Temple and her lobster tail.
Like, OK, lady, I don't know. It was so, so atrocious.
It was one of those experiences where like, we didn't do
anything wrong, but I felt embarrassed to even be eating

(25:55):
there that day. Yeah, and then on the way out we
were trying to find the manager to give them compliments instead
of tear them a new asshole because we were trying to even
out the karma. And I just love people's
inclination still is to whip outtheir phone and be like, I'm
going to leave a Yelp reveal. It's like, yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, go ahead. Also, it's the Benihana in

(26:16):
Encino that's existed for like 65 years.
Do you think they do? You think they give a fuck?
They were in that episode of TheOffice and they're probably
never going to close their doors.
So like, fuck you. They have 13,000 ratings and
they're rated like 4.89 and you're going to bring them down
to 4.8888889. Good job.

(26:37):
Who cares? They don't give, they don't give
a shit. The fucking worst.
The actual worst. Have you heard of the fire
movement? No.
Move over, DINK life. There's something called the
FIRE movement. Financial independence.
Retire early. Oh hell yeah.

(27:00):
I know I'm thinking like, I knowwe just rebranded the podcast,
but there's still time. Should we rebrand to fire dinks
like fire dinks? Wait, fire dinks.
OK, we just go crazy. We go crazy with all the fucking
acronyms because also. Retire early, double income, no

(27:23):
kids. Wait, no.
No. Fire dink wads.
Yes. Financially independent, Retire
early. Double income.
No. Kid with a dog?
Yeah. And cats.
Fire dink wad acts. Listen, this is a good idea.
No, but it's a whole other movement.
It's essentially like this is what happens when people, a

(27:45):
group of people decide to do something different in life and
have to band together. They have to give it a name.
This is essentially a new same version of DINK life, but.
It has to have a fun acronym. Yeah, it has to have a fun
acronym. The only thing is like these
people tend to prioritize like RV living and that sort of thing

(28:09):
because the whole idea is we're going to spend less money and
retire early and be done with like working.
So like tiny houses? Yeah, so like DINK life, we the
goal is to make a good amount ofmoney so that we can save but
also enjoy as we go. And I had to forgot our file or

(28:33):
a file right Fire fire. Sorry, a file fire is more about
are. You stroking out.
Well, there's another one in thearticle called file.
I read it wrong, but fire is more about like we're not having
kids so that also means we don'tneed to make as much money so we
can stop working like immediately.

(28:55):
So it's an interesting idea. We were super into the tiny
house thing for a while. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to
say I started the fire movement myself, but if you listen to old
episodes of Mostly True Opinionsback in the day, I feel like I
kind of started this movement. I think he did, I guess.
How soon are we talking for retirement?

(29:17):
Are we talking in our in their 30s?
According to the article I read,there's some people who are
doing it in their late 30s, early 40s.
Yeah. So it's pretty aggressive
because again, the idea is you do it like you essentially get
into that RV or your Sprinter van or tiny house or whatever
and you eliminate living cost like immediately.

(29:40):
I could see an RV and like travelling and stuff, but The
thing is when I retire I just want to like I do want to spend
money. That's the only thing I think
like it's I once you sign up forthis kind of path, you're pretty
much that is your path kind of forever.

(30:02):
Like there is no you take the RVto Europe and you know, go on a
crazy fun vacation. It's kind of like you just arts
you're at the RV life. You live like a minimalist.
It almost seems like a homesteadtype of thing, you know?
Sure. I mean that's respectable.
I just want to travel more. I kind of want to do the FIRE

(30:23):
lifestyle, but on a cruise ship where we eliminate, we eliminate
living costs because our cost ofliving is the cabin that we're
in. Right.
Yeah, I agree. I think that would be like the
the happy medium. And maybe like in our late 40s
or something, yeah. That would be dope.

(30:46):
Then what is file? What's the difference of fire
and file? File is where did it go?
File is financial independence live early.
I don't OK. So they're like, don't delay the
fun stuff till you retire. Retire now and live now.

(31:06):
Yeah, I guess that's the idea, yeah.
I just think fire is better. I do too, yeah.
It just has more of a punch to it.
File seems like a job fire. Seems like exciting.
I have some notes for file but Ilike the general vibe and yeah,
I'm in. New York, I do think that a lot

(31:28):
of people are feeling similarly at the moment, though of like,
is there going to ever be a point where we can like reassess
this whole working all the time thing and just like find a way
to just like, you know, to coexist and like chill.
You know, it's not going to exist in our lifetime, but a lot
of people are are on that train.So maybe that's where the fire

(31:49):
thing comes from. Who knows?
And I know one thing, I don't think they have their own app
like we discussed a couple weeksago.
Which they should, but everything becomes a kink.
And I I know, I know. I do think that we should give
the app a try though. I still think that we should
like, I maybe even go and have like a hang with somebody.

(32:12):
Like a double date? Yeah, and then report back on
the pod for fun. Probably going to go poorly.
It's probably going to go let's have sex and then we come back
to the pod and go, Oh no, they want to have sex with us.
Have you ever been approached from like a swinging perspective
to your knowledge or is there like a moment where you thought

(32:34):
like I think that they were trying?
Didn't we? Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true.
I. Think we did, but we never got
confirmation because it we it never got far enough to.
Yeah. To be actually propositioned.
But no, not like I've never beenapproached as like 1/3 that I

(32:57):
know of. And I don't think with any exes,
I don't think I've been like approached as swingers.
I don't think I'm pretty sure ithappened one other time in my
life. And it was at I was at a public
park with a friend of mine, not even somebody I was dating.

(33:18):
And this guy walks up to us and he was like, hey, how are you
guys? We're like, good.
How are you? And he's like, good.
Yeah, pretty day. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?
What are you guys up to at the park?
And I'm like, I I'd already don't like, this is where this
is going. Like, are you a Trader Joe's
cashier? And I was like, oh, you know,
we're just hanging out. We're going to some museum

(33:40):
behind us in a little bit. And he's like, yeah, that's
cool. Well, listen, if you like, are
looking with somebody else to hang out with, my wife and I are
just over there. You 2 are welcome to come join
us. And I was like, this is.
That's so blatant. This is totally what's
happening. Wait, were you in college?
This was like, this was in like the last year of college, but

(34:03):
like the summer when I came hometo visit in Missouri, you know,
So if by that logic, it was probably somebody I was related
to as well. So.
It was in Missouri. Yeah, yeah.
Which I I found kind of interesting because that's a
conservative area. Yeah.
But I would imagine if they did the research like that is where

(34:23):
more. Just like just like the Mormons
in Provo, UT are the ones that have the swinging scandal on the
secret lives of Mormon wives. I'm sure it's very similar
honestly. I think the more Bible Belt you
grew up, the kinkier you are. Yeah, it's a bit of logic.

(34:45):
Like they they've done research studies where they find more
millionaires living in like trailer park homes than
anywhere. It's just like the hiding in
plain sight type thing. Wait, so you just said you were
like, oh, all good. I was like, Oh no, we're OK.
We're we're going to head into the museum.
Hope you guys have a good day. And then was the girl you were

(35:06):
with? Like that was weird.
Oh yeah. We were both like, holy shit.
And then when we left the museum, I forgot this detail.
We saw him talking to another like, couple of people.
So like, definitely wasn't defeated enough that he like
stopped trying. He was.
Going for it. Either that or it was like, very

(35:27):
Ted Bundy and they were going tokill you, right?
Yeah, neither situation was good, but yeah.
Definitely either sex or death. It was giving like forced
swinging or skin me alive. Is that bad that like we're so
jaded by the world that it was either sex or death and he
didn't actually just want friends?
No, no, that's, no, that's not bad.

(35:49):
That's called being like aware and alert and.
Now I have more questions. Were they ugly or hot?
Like where were they on the scale?
I would say they were average looking people and we're not not
like supermodels and but like relatively indecent shape and
they didn't have like, you know,they weren't monsters, but like.

(36:11):
Like they didn't have like 2 snaggle teeth?
No, and like 400 lbs. No, no.
So then also were they significantly older than you?
Because if you were college age.Yeah, I would say they probably
had a good 20 years on us. Oh my God, that's creepy in
itself. And also, when you were in
college, you looked like a very baby child.

(36:34):
That's not true. You didn't know me in college.
I've seen photos of you with like those.
Have been. Those have been doctored.
That's that's back when like it was the first couple Instagram
filters. You definitely didn't look like
like a grown man that wants to swing.
You looked like you were still baking.

(36:56):
Now though, now it's all over myface.
The mustache does give like I might swing.
OK, well now you're going to give me a complex about my
mustache. Thanks a lot.
Is this are you trying to tell me to shave it off?
No, no, no, but. No.
So you're trying to tell me you that's you do want to swing?
No, I have more questions. So then after these old average

(37:20):
looking people asked you to swing, and after the point where
you were like, that was weird and you went into the museum,
then was there a wave of like, wait, I'm so flattered.
We're so hot. No, not at all.
There was just only a wave of. I'm weirded out by this.
Oh, so you were never like, wow,we're so hot that someone saw us

(37:41):
from across the park and thought, let's know.
No, because I think it was one of those situations where like,
or at least this is the vibe I got.
It was like, we're going to justsee how many it takes to get a
yes. So you were like, not flattered
because you thought they've asked like 12 other people?
Right, that's the energy it was giving at least.
And it was kind of giving. The bar is closing now.

(38:03):
It's 2:00 AM and you're the onlyperson left.
Yeah. OK.
Yeah, yeah. Wait.
Your words. Christ.
Ouch. No, and that's what.
So it was giving you a pathetic loser and.
No, I'm just saying I think thatmy brain would get to I'm
flattered decently fast if I wasn't shoved into the trunk of

(38:24):
someone's car. It's a little concerning that
you say that feels a little bit like somebody could win you
over. No, no, I'm not going to do it,
but I want to know that I'm wanted, so I think.
All right, well, good to know. And you know what happens to us.

(38:47):
And gosh, it definitely almost happened that one time.
I think that's like a universal experience.
What's that? As a woman?
What? You want.
To be flattered in that way. I think even men listening, I
think it's a universal thought. Yeah, maybe, maybe, but I off, I

(39:10):
don't think like in traditionally I wouldn't think
that if you get approached to bea swinger, I think that, you
know, there was probably they'reprobably referencing the the
woman in that situation more than the man.
That would be my guess, but I don't know because like a lot of
a lot of straight guys are very flattered when gay guys think
they're attractive and stuff. But I don't know if it would

(39:32):
apply to the to the swinger scene.
I guess there's only one way to find out.
Got to put ourselves in these situations.
Speaking of sex, shall we do ourlast segment?
Yes, it is a segment I am calling Ebert and Dinker where
we review TV and movies that only adults could watch with no

(39:53):
children in the household. Starting with the show Heated
Rivalry. What do we think of Heated
Rivalry? Here's the thing.
It has been, and I mean this with all pun intended, it has
been shoved down our throats. Yes, and up our butts.
Yes, shoved down our throats, upour butts.

(40:16):
This show has been recommended by everyone we've ever met and
it has been so recommended that a few of our friends have been
like I need you to watch this and don't text me or talk to me
or hang out with me until you finish the series.
To be clear, it's only 6 episodes and we are halfway

(40:38):
through. We are.
And so we have, we are going to,we are going to finish it to be
a part of culture and to be to figure out what our friends see
in the show. If you haven't seen it, you
should know that it's gay porn. It's porn.
It is 100% gay porn. And here's the thing, do we have

(41:00):
any issue with two men in love having sex with one another?
Absolutely not. Has nothing to do with that.
I would wager to say if this show featured a straight couple
having sex the entire time, I would have the exact same
questions that I do now, which is what is the show about?
What is the plot? What?
What are we supposed to care about?

(41:21):
All 'cause I don't really actually know anything about
either character. I don't know their back story,
like at all. And all they do for three
episodes in a row is text each other, play hockey once every
six months or once a year, and then they fuck like 4 times an
episode. And The thing is like, I don't.

(41:42):
It's not that I hate the show, Ijust don't.
I'm very confused. And it's not that we're being
prude because I've looked inward.
No, I was like, I was like, honey, is it us?
Are we prudes? No, it's not.
And then we're like, no, I'm just bored.
It's just a lot of sex. It's that an episode is 55
minutes long, and 42 1/2 minutesof that is a sex scene.

(42:06):
And that's fine, but then the other 8 minutes of this show
need to be packed with plot and it's not.
It's literally like you said, it's literally like we we'll
play hockey, then we'll text each other, Should we have sex?
We have sex. Six months go by, same thing
happens now we have been told. That the last three episodes I
have been insured are going to be quote, you are in for the

(42:30):
ride of your lives for the last three episodes.
So we could come back next week and we could be eating our
words. We could.
Or Dick's, I don't know. I don't know.
I tried. I tried to make it topical, but
it you know what? Maybe, and I hope we do, because
I would like to not waste my time on you know what I mean?

(42:53):
Yeah, no, I hear like it is a phenomenon and that is why
that's why we've decided to try and hop on board with.
You If you watch that with a child in the room, it's over for
you. Yeah, you can't do that.
Another, another movie, another thing that you should not watch
with a child in the room, or I might say with anybody in the

(43:15):
room. Marty Supreme.
We went and saw Marty Supreme and well did we see Marty
Supreme. Did we or did we leave?
And that's like, when was the last time you left the movie
theater? Like a decade ago.
I know exactly when it was. It was when Hilary Swank had a

(43:35):
movie come out about 20 years ago.
I forget the name of it. It was a scary movie thriller
that had a handheld camera and it was so it made me so motion
sick I couldn't watch it. That was the last time I walked
out. OK.
So it's been like 20 years. 20 years I have sat through movies
that I can't fucking stand, but I'm committed to see the end and

(44:00):
get through the experience because I'm like, well, we're
already in it, we might as well fucking see the end.
I have sat through shit and thenbitched in the car for two
hours. Sure.
But you still watch it. I've done full podcast episodes
on the of our pod on movies I fucking hate, but I still
watched it and Marty motherfucking supreme eat my

(44:23):
fucking asshole. OK, I switched wait.
Wait, can you can we can we say that another way just in case we
want to pull this video for later?
What am I supposed to say? I don't know, just something
that like the the algorithm won't suppress.
Can't you just bleep it? Sure.

(44:45):
Yeah, I I hated it. We left and you know what?
Fine. Spoiler alert if you fucking
care to see it then loser it. We left around the point where
like a dog is needlessly smashedby a tub and then and then lives

(45:10):
I guess is stuffed in a car for hours while they play ping pong
and then I think explodes at a gas station and and guess what?
Guess what? The dog not part of the plot,
not part of a main character. It was like a fucking extra had
a dog. And then the dog is.
So and then it's all just you. Your whole thing was it's just

(45:34):
screaming and chaos and screaming and chaos.
And then aren't you supposed to give a shit about the main
character at any point? Or I have I have a maybe or
anybody or anybody would be good.
Anyone in the plot at all we should care about?
Like Marty himself, Timothy Chalamet's character, awful.

(45:54):
His friends, awful. Kevin from Shark Tank, his
character awful. The woman that Gwyneth Paltrow
plays? Awful.
Shitting on her husband. Everybody in this movie is an
awful person. So why the fuck would I sit and
root for them? And no, there's not a character
art coming 'cause I looked up the end of the movie, you bitch

(46:15):
asses. I looked up the end of the
movie. Look about our listeners.
I looked up the end of the movieand it's not any better than the
rest of the movie. No, it's really not.
And what, so we were supposed tosit there in the theater and

(46:36):
wait for him to go see a kid that's born who he he denounced
as not his child? For sure go fuck yourself.
To the mom of the kid. To the baby Mama.
What? Honey, I can't do movie reviews
without swearing. And This is why I shouldn't have
a letterbox. They wouldn't let me on the

(46:56):
platform. I was.
I was banned before I made one. I I can't do it it's stupid and
what so the end of the movie is him holding his illegitimate
child who he had with a woman that's ope married and also the
ping pong not even really actually part of the movie.

(47:19):
Truly like everything that you just described upset me right?
I it was way too loud. It was headache inducing.
I didn't want to see a dog get hurt.
I hated everybody in the movie, but I think that one of the most
devastating parts was it was very little about the ping pong.
Like obviously ping pongs in it and there's there's more ping
pong in the parts we didn't see.But like it was not centered on

(47:40):
the ping pong. It was centered on how horrible
of a person this guy was. Right.
I thought it was going to be like an underdog story.
Me too. Wiry little New Yorker kid.
Me too. That's working his way up the
ranks of the ping pong game and we're rooting for him.
And for all of a sudden, like these other movies like F1 and
like Gran Turismo and stuff, I don't know shit about car

(48:01):
racing, but I cared about it when we saw those movies and I
thought this was going to be theGran Turismo of ping pong.
And instead it was just me wanting Timothy Chalamet to get
hit by a car was what I wanted the entire movie.
And you know what? I guess it's cool that he
learned ping pong for seven years.
But also loser. Also, we were not the only ones

(48:25):
in our theater that walked out. There were others.
There were like 10 people that walked out at the same time as
us, to be clear. Yeah, so we're not the only
ones, but IA lot of people love that movie again.
I beg of you, if you liked it, I'm begging you to explain your
psyche to me. What did you like?

(48:45):
About it, because I guarantee you that some of our close
friends will have liked the movie.
Guarantee. I'm begging someone to explain.
All right, we'll do it. We'll make a plan.
I just. Can't.
How about if you did like it? Send us.
Send us a voice note to our DMS at the Dingside pod on

(49:06):
Instagram. Please make it one that you when
you send it. We can download it to play on
the pod. Not like a voice or a video.
Yeah, yeah. Not one that disappears after
you play it once, you know what I'm saying?
Because also just for your own greater good, that way you get
out everything you wanted to sayand I don't interrupt you

(49:27):
because we all know we can all see it.
Now you're trying to explain your opinion about Marty
Supreme, and I'm cutting you offbecause I'm so upset.
But if you send a voice note, I can't interrupt you because
you're doing a monologue that I can't interrupt.
That's true. So I think send a voice note to
our DMS at the Ding Side pod. Please make it one that doesn't
disappear. Otherwise we can't play it.

(49:50):
Make your case. Make your.
Case if you want to type it instead of say it, you can
whatever. You can, but it won't be read
with sincerity. Just.
It'll be yeah, it'll be read with like some sort of mocking
voice, but your funeral, you know, Anyways, I just and it's
like, This is why again, you have a letter box, which is cool
and everyone should follow you because I'm sure it's fun for

(50:13):
you, but I can't can't have a letterbox.
It will it will end friendships.No.
No, no, you're wrong about this.I actually think this is the
perfect reason for you to have aletterbox.
So I just go on and rate everything one star like.
No, there's things that you like.
That's the whole point is like there's a, you know, you pick

(50:35):
your four favorite movies as part of your profile.
And that's the point is like everybody has varied interests.
And I think it's hilarious to like log on right now and I can
see five star reviews from MartySupreme and then a bunch of
people who hated it too. Like it's just entertaining to
see how people can see the same thing and have a completely
different take on it. So I think you should.

(50:56):
I just like and I want to have asegment on my letterbox because
can't you make like lists or whatever I want to have?
I want to have stories that never needed to be told.
That's great. That's that would be perfect.
You should do this. I'm serious.
Wait, am I going to be letterboxfamous?
I like how I like how in 15 seconds flat I went from I'm

(51:18):
never making one. It's going to end my friendships
too I guess. I'm going to be letterbox
famous. Yeah, that's how it works,
though. It's showbiz.
You know my OW. My character arc of just needing
validation is like zero to 100. Yeah, it's OK, You're self aware
about it. Because it's the same arc as

(51:38):
you. Some creepy guy wants me to
swing. Wait, I'm flattered.
Yeah, it's a little concerning. As your husband, I'm not going
to lie, it has me concerned about what you might say yes to
just for flattery. OK, real quick before we go,
couple things from Reddit thought you might enjoy.
Number one, I have been talking about this.
You've been talking about this. The Internet is talking about
this, asking people who grew up in the Seventies, 80s and 90s.

(52:02):
Were there a lot of screaming kids in stores back then or were
kids more behaved? I'm honestly wanting to hear
from you because it seems that after COVID and just around the
last five to 10 years, kids think they can do this and get
away with it screaming in stores.
I could not agree with you more.I don't know what's happening.

(52:22):
Kids are screaming and it's not like I'm not talking about the
kid that tried to get a toy and is throwing a fit.
He's not getting it. That's always been a thing.
I'm talking about just about nothing for no reason.
Right, it's just them having a feeling and expressing it
through shrieking and screaming.Yes and but I I do have a theory

(52:45):
on this. I have a theory on this.
My theory is that kids are not given enough alone time anymore,
so their parents fucking annoy them and they're like get away
from me. OK, I mean your theory is less
problematic than mine. Mine is a little darker.
My theory is parents aren't hitting their kids anymore.

(53:08):
That's well, Jesus, yeah. Because we had the fear of
getting struck. That is true, and I'm not.
I'm not condoning. I'm not condoning physical
violence, however. Condoning physical violence.
No, we're not. However, it seems to have been
like we went from one extreme tothe other.

(53:28):
And I think like the middle ground would be probably
appropriate, which is like, put fear in them but don't strike
them, you know? Oh sure, So emotional abuse
instead of physical. There you go.
Yeah, it's fine. What was what was the?
We watched a movie or something recently where they're like, you
get old enough you just forget, which is so not.
It was the short film and she said your brain can only hold so

(53:52):
many memories. And Oh no, it was also, oh, it
was the movie weapons too, remember, wasn't it?
There was some No it was the movie Carrie Nevermind from
1970s. OK.
Well, where, like, she murders her entire school and then
they're like, she'll forget about it.

(54:13):
It's like, OK, well, that's not how it works.
There's another one from Red. I thought this was a random
funny rant. And I never really thought about
this before. And we're always talking about,
like, do people need to post like a gender reveal or, you
know, that little, like, little sign that you put the letters in
with the baby's name and like, the due date and a pair of socks

(54:36):
or something under the Christmastree.
You see that type of stuff a lot.
This is 1 saying, do we really need to see photos of pregnancy
tests? Everyday I see at least a couple
photos of positive pregnancy tests on various feeds.
And my question is not what I Why would I want you to?
Why would I want to know that you're pregnant?
It's why would I want to see a photo of a strip that you peed

(54:57):
on? Yeah, I you know what?
And I would go a step further and I would say, is posting a
pregnancy test that you peed on the same as posting like a
bloody tampon or? Probably not quite.
Or a menstrual pad. I mean I on paper, yes, but.
Or a diaper that someone peed inlike.

(55:21):
It's it is a funny thing to think about.
It was in your crotch and you pissed on it and you're going to
tell me that it's not kind of the same as a tampon?
It's it's a funny thing to thinkabout.
Wild. Behavior.
Didn't we? Like I we had to.
You were using a pregnancy test in an acting class that you're
in and I had to pee on it. No, it was for our shoot for

(55:48):
this podcast, honey. Oh, that's right, you're right.
I thought it was for a scene. And you peed on it because I
just didn't feel like doing it. And also.
You couldn't take the bullet. No.
And then we just poured water onit because I was like, oh, it
works with water. It's fine.

(56:08):
Yeah. I just wasn't sure if it would
say negative if it didn't touch pee, if it only touched water.
Like we we were doing it for science.
In hindsight, what a ridiculous thing.
What a silly thing. But also or the people that are
posting the pregnancy test that's positive.
Like I believe you if you say you're pregnant.

(56:28):
Like that's the other thing, yeah.
Why do you? Need to prove it to me.
Like I don't need to see what I like.
I don't. What else am I thinking?
Like I don't need to see a vial of blood for you to say that
you're like an blood donor. Like I believe you.
If I'm being fully honest about it, it doesn't really bother me

(56:49):
seeing a pregnancy test on social media.
But I do think it's funny to like, have the thought of that
is something you just peed on and you're trying to post it as
if it's cute. But also like I don't post like
my dump like I just think it's. It you're posting, I mean, I
suppose you could. No, I think that would get

(57:11):
flagged. I don't think I'm comfortable
with you saying my dump. I don't.
Think I don't. I think we're going to need to.
I don't like it either and I there's.
A lot of things that came up today that I don't know if I'm a
fan of. You want somebody to swing with
you no the flattery and you wantto post pictures of quote your
dump. I don't know what form I'm in in

(57:32):
2026. I don't know that it's good.
I just know that we slept for 45minutes and I am fast and loose.
I have a voice for the first time.
This is what happens. I've been pent up for three
weeks. I've no, I have no voice.
This. Is what happens when Ariel gets
her voice back. No.
OK, here's the thing. I've been so pent up that now

(57:54):
that I have a voice, I'm just saying opinions for the sake of
saying. That that's not good.
That's a sign that the podcast is over for today.
OK. I'm just going to start picking
wild opinions to say because I can.
And now I have a voice again. Nope, we got to cut off this.
What Republicans do, they just say things because they can.

(58:16):
Love you everybody. We'll see you next time.
Bye.