May 20, 2025 • 10 mins
Rach asks the question, "Am I a bad Mum for pretending to be asleep?" We have plenty of moments as Mums of being woken up by little people, but Rach's quota is DONE!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apod Shake Production. Welcome back to another episode about I
Bad Mom Podcast. We have days where we are literally
(00:28):
tearing our hair out. I feel like I'm going grayer
by the moment.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Before we even walked into this room. Yeah, we're just
like hard on the text, Like you're just getting peppered
by your daughter's right now.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I went for a beautiful walk this morning, four kilometers
in nature. Listen to Mel Robbins podcast. You know, like
I did all.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
The things this morning, all of them.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
And I get into work and I'm super stress because
I've just got text stuff to text from my children.
They had a really late night two days ago, and
I reminded them when they had the late night, if
kindness and rudeness tomorrow, I'm gonna know that you can't
handle late nights. So they were deliberately delightful yesterday, but
(01:15):
I know that today today is the reaper. Today is today.
I'm not thinking about the fact that it was a
well I am late night. Yeah, they're thinking I'm not thinking,
and so we don't know anything. They're related.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
You don't know anything.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Remember, Am I a bad mum for faking being asleep?
This is just a fun one and it's just going
to be fun and like harder. But it's like we
(01:50):
sell this podcast, right, it's being reflective fun but sometimes
shit behavior from us, but at the same time like
we own it.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yeah, I think your routine tends to happen on a
Monday night only.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Whereas you're like, I'm in buy what time is your
bed on a Monday night?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Like, well, I could easily go to bed at eight,
but I've got kids that are.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Up, and I'm like, can you please be quiet? Yeah,
I can go to sleep. Yeah, but your Monday nights
are very routine. You catch up from your weekends on
your Monday night, right, so you know that you're in
bed early Monday night. If I could do that every night,
Katie by eight o'clock, I would.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Be one happy mama.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
But what I noticed about you, though, is when I
text you in the evenings. Yeah, you've always got your
phone notifications on silent yea quite early on, so that
the intent is there.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
It's definitely on, but I will reply.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I mean, okay, it's just when she picked their phone
up to look.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I wish that I could put that.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Same silencing messages on my kids, or maybe on my forehead.
That would be wonderful that night because I get to,
like I've said this many times on this podcast, I
get to like eight, let's eight thirty, and my quota
of patience is like it's done, Like it's shot. I
need to work on this, right, Like this is serious stuff.
I gotta work on this. I just have nothing left
(03:16):
in the tank because I've probably been up since like
four point thirty train, done all that, and you're like give, give, give, give, give,
run around, run, do everything all day, and then eight
thirty comes and I'm like, I've got nothing left. And
then I go to bed feeling like a shit mum
because I haven't had enough patience or energy to just
sit with them and be present when they going to
(03:36):
bed and just listen to them and do all.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
That's a hard one and I found this last night.
So I left work late. I say late. I left
work at like six, and then I went to the gym,
but I hadn't done any exercise, and so I was like,
go to the gym, just do half an hour of.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Wait just yep.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And so then by the time I got home it
was after seven, and then I just wanted to relax,
have a shower, and they just kept talking. And the
thing is, there's a part of me that's like, stop talking,
trying to have a shower, And then the other part
of me is like, you haven't spent.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Any time with them today at all.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You've been away all day, they've been at school all day,
You've got home late, and you literally don't have the
patience to listen to what your kids want to talk
to you about for like half an hour.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah that does make you feel.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Like so shit, Yeah it does, because like there's little moments, say,
for instance, like when I'm in the car driving them everywhere,
that I'll talk to them and go like ask them
the questions and then maybe at that point they won't
feel like talking to me. Like Elsie goes, I said, oh,
what are you looking at out of the window because
we were coming home from netball? That's right, And then
she's looking out it's just on that sort of like
(04:50):
getting dark right that day, she I'm just looking at
the stars.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
She's like, shush, shush.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
If I could tell you to shush. When I felt like,
how about you drive the car and I'll look at the.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Fucking stars, I was like, I don't feel like shushing, right, now,
But then I flip it.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I go, like at nighttime when they're like.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Mom, please sit with me for like just a couple
of minutes, and I feel myself going, I can't.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I'm looking at the star.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
In the back of my eyelids.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Anyway, fast forward to a few times now, and the
reason why I'm saying it is I've done it more
than once, which is why I'm raising it with you,
is have you ever, as a parent, pretended that you're asleep,
like actually faked that you're asleep when your child's at
the bed. I can't hear you, I'm really asleep when
(05:39):
you're not asleep, and you can hear them like they're
not dying, they're not dead, they're not sick.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It's probably just for a cup of water.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You can tell the tone of your own kids, right,
These are the times where I've faked it, fake it
till you make it, and I have faked it to
go just gonna lay here and it's in the darken
if I lay here really still and I'm really really
really really still, and don't butt it, like, don't batter
your eyelids, don't move, they might go away.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
They might have to sap they don't need a glass
of water anymore.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
They might walk past the tap and just get their
own glass of water.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I've done it more than once, Katie, and I feel
shit because I've yeah, I've faked it quite a few times.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Really, did they go and pull their own glass of water? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, Look, I've done it more than three times, but
let's just use three as the roundup.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
The last one, which was very relevant, she called me
out on it and she was like, mom, she's mom.
I went and you know how you just feel yourself
gope like you and she goes, I know you're not asleep,
and I was like, oh, I'm not asleep. This is
(06:54):
the difference of age, Katie. They're older now they can
call you out and call the bluff on it.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But also it's like, well, okay, I'm not asleep, but
I don't want to get up. I don't want to
get up.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But by that stage, bab I was lulling so hard
at myself faking being asleep and then having her call
me out and go, you're not even to sleep, And.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I was like, I am not. I am not asleep,
But I was like, but I don't want to get up.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Do you have those moments where you're like, what do
you need? What do you need from me? I am
trying to sleep, what.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Do you need?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I think this is the difference of like ages, right,
is that back in the day, when that little bit
like smaller, maybe like let's just say five, and they
end up at your bedside, you know that they're there.
You can hear them, you can see them, you can
feel them that you're waiting for somebody else that could
possibly be laying next to you to jump in so
that you don't you know, you don't wake up. They
(07:56):
were years ago, right nowadays most cases will be.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I'll get back up.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I'll probably moan and groan about it and tell you
that you don't need a glass of water.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
You're just faking it.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I mean they've learnt from the best, because clearly I
do it as well.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
But yeah, I just think I've done it more than once.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
And I kind of caught myself out as well as
being caught out because we were both ended up in
a fit of laughter. But at the same time, I
just was like, Rachel got I need to swap up
my game. It's not working. I can't like I just
have to own it and just I'm not getting out
of bed. What do you want from me? But the
thing with my girls, just to wrap this up, is
(08:33):
they're all good. But then Katie, they get to that
where I sleep and where they sleep is quite what
you see, like there's quite a distance. And then when
the house is black, pitch black, they're like, no, I'm
not walking back to my room by myself. And yeah,
but you walk down here, Yeah, you walk down here
to do this, to create this, and no, you can't
(08:56):
walk back. Need to change up my game. So if
you've got any ideas, yeah I do. Actually I've got
an idea.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
And the idea is to make your kids really scared
of waking you up, because I did that too, and
my girls got to the point where they would say,
don't wake mom up, She'll be so mad, wake dad up.
And I would then have nights where the girls would
(09:21):
come in and I would do the same as you.
I would pretend to be asleep. I hear them come in,
I've heard it. I've heard them go around and wake
day up, and I will lay there and pretend to
be asleep. Fucking mislike. I don't even know how it
(09:43):
came about. But they then saw me as this like monster, like,
don't wake the monster in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I also have had that a few times, and again
that's off the back of me just not having Obviously,
my patience barrier is very slim to none during a
certain window where I just get to the point where
I'm like, I'm exhausted. I can't give to any of you,
not single ioda.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I remember one time, Rachel, and I'm sure I've told
you about this, but Holly came in in the middle
of the night and I was so done, like I'd
been woken up a few times. I was just like
I turned around and I went and she looked at
me all like innocently. I started getting a bit teary,
(10:29):
and she said.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
My tooth came out.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh I am a shit mom,
Apod Shake Production. Welcome back to another episode about I
Bad Mom Podcast. We have days where we are literally
(00:28):
tearing our hair out. I feel like I'm going grayer
by the moment.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Before we even walked into this room. Yeah, we're just
like hard on the text, Like you're just getting peppered
by your daughter's right now.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I went for a beautiful walk this morning, four kilometers
in nature. Listen to Mel Robbins podcast. You know, like
I did all.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
The things this morning, all of them.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
And I get into work and I'm super stress because
I've just got text stuff to text from my children.
They had a really late night two days ago, and
I reminded them when they had the late night, if
kindness and rudeness tomorrow, I'm gonna know that you can't
handle late nights. So they were deliberately delightful yesterday, but
(01:15):
I know that today today is the reaper. Today is today.
I'm not thinking about the fact that it was a
well I am late night. Yeah, they're thinking I'm not thinking,
and so we don't know anything. They're related.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
You don't know anything.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Remember, Am I a bad mum for faking being asleep?
This is just a fun one and it's just going
to be fun and like harder. But it's like we
(01:50):
sell this podcast, right, it's being reflective fun but sometimes
shit behavior from us, but at the same time like
we own it.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yeah, I think your routine tends to happen on a
Monday night only.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Whereas you're like, I'm in buy what time is your
bed on a Monday night?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Like, well, I could easily go to bed at eight,
but I've got kids that are.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Up, and I'm like, can you please be quiet? Yeah,
I can go to sleep. Yeah, but your Monday nights
are very routine. You catch up from your weekends on
your Monday night, right, so you know that you're in
bed early Monday night. If I could do that every night,
Katie by eight o'clock, I would.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Be one happy mama.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
But what I noticed about you, though, is when I
text you in the evenings. Yeah, you've always got your
phone notifications on silent yea quite early on, so that
the intent is there.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
It's definitely on, but I will reply.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I mean, okay, it's just when she picked their phone
up to look.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I wish that I could put that.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Same silencing messages on my kids, or maybe on my forehead.
That would be wonderful that night because I get to,
like I've said this many times on this podcast, I
get to like eight, let's eight thirty, and my quota
of patience is like it's done, Like it's shot. I
need to work on this, right, Like this is serious stuff.
I gotta work on this. I just have nothing left
(03:16):
in the tank because I've probably been up since like
four point thirty train, done all that, and you're like give, give, give, give, give,
run around, run, do everything all day, and then eight
thirty comes and I'm like, I've got nothing left. And
then I go to bed feeling like a shit mum
because I haven't had enough patience or energy to just
sit with them and be present when they going to
(03:36):
bed and just listen to them and do all.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
That's a hard one and I found this last night.
So I left work late. I say late. I left
work at like six, and then I went to the gym,
but I hadn't done any exercise, and so I was like,
go to the gym, just do half an hour of.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Wait just yep.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
And so then by the time I got home it
was after seven, and then I just wanted to relax,
have a shower, and they just kept talking. And the
thing is, there's a part of me that's like, stop talking,
trying to have a shower, And then the other part
of me is like, you haven't spent.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Any time with them today at all.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You've been away all day, they've been at school all day,
You've got home late, and you literally don't have the
patience to listen to what your kids want to talk
to you about for like half an hour.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Yeah that does make you feel.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Like so shit, Yeah it does, because like there's little moments, say,
for instance, like when I'm in the car driving them everywhere,
that I'll talk to them and go like ask them
the questions and then maybe at that point they won't
feel like talking to me. Like Elsie goes, I said, oh,
what are you looking at out of the window because
we were coming home from netball? That's right, And then
she's looking out it's just on that sort of like
(04:50):
getting dark right that day, she I'm just looking at
the stars.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
She's like, shush, shush.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
If I could tell you to shush. When I felt like,
how about you drive the car and I'll look at the.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Fucking stars, I was like, I don't feel like shushing, right, now,
But then I flip it.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I go, like at nighttime when they're like.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Mom, please sit with me for like just a couple
of minutes, and I feel myself going, I can't.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I'm looking at the star.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
In the back of my eyelids.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Anyway, fast forward to a few times now, and the
reason why I'm saying it is I've done it more
than once, which is why I'm raising it with you,
is have you ever, as a parent, pretended that you're asleep,
like actually faked that you're asleep when your child's at
the bed. I can't hear you, I'm really asleep when
(05:39):
you're not asleep, and you can hear them like they're
not dying, they're not dead, they're not sick.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It's probably just for a cup of water.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You can tell the tone of your own kids, right,
These are the times where I've faked it, fake it
till you make it, and I have faked it to
go just gonna lay here and it's in the darken
if I lay here really still and I'm really really
really really still, and don't butt it, like, don't batter
your eyelids, don't move, they might go away.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
They might have to sap they don't need a glass
of water anymore.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
They might walk past the tap and just get their
own glass of water.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I've done it more than once, Katie, and I feel
shit because I've yeah, I've faked it quite a few times.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Really, did they go and pull their own glass of water? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah, Look, I've done it more than three times, but
let's just use three as the roundup.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
The last one, which was very relevant, she called me
out on it and she was like, mom, she's mom.
I went and you know how you just feel yourself
gope like you and she goes, I know you're not asleep,
and I was like, oh, I'm not asleep. This is
(06:54):
the difference of age, Katie. They're older now they can
call you out and call the bluff on it.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But also it's like, well, okay, I'm not asleep, but
I don't want to get up. I don't want to
get up.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
But by that stage, bab I was lulling so hard
at myself faking being asleep and then having her call
me out and go, you're not even to sleep, And.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
I was like, I am not. I am not asleep,
But I was like, but I don't want to get up.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Do you have those moments where you're like, what do
you need? What do you need from me? I am
trying to sleep, what.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Do you need?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I think this is the difference of like ages, right,
is that back in the day, when that little bit
like smaller, maybe like let's just say five, and they
end up at your bedside, you know that they're there.
You can hear them, you can see them, you can
feel them that you're waiting for somebody else that could
possibly be laying next to you to jump in so
that you don't you know, you don't wake up. They
(07:56):
were years ago, right nowadays most cases will be.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I'll get back up.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I'll probably moan and groan about it and tell you
that you don't need a glass of water.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
You're just faking it.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I mean they've learnt from the best, because clearly I
do it as well.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
But yeah, I just think I've done it more than once.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
And I kind of caught myself out as well as
being caught out because we were both ended up in
a fit of laughter. But at the same time, I
just was like, Rachel got I need to swap up
my game. It's not working. I can't like I just
have to own it and just I'm not getting out
of bed. What do you want from me? But the
thing with my girls, just to wrap this up, is
(08:33):
they're all good. But then Katie, they get to that
where I sleep and where they sleep is quite what
you see, like there's quite a distance. And then when
the house is black, pitch black, they're like, no, I'm
not walking back to my room by myself. And yeah,
but you walk down here, Yeah, you walk down here
to do this, to create this, and no, you can't
(08:56):
walk back. Need to change up my game. So if
you've got any ideas, yeah I do. Actually I've got
an idea.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
And the idea is to make your kids really scared
of waking you up, because I did that too, and
my girls got to the point where they would say,
don't wake mom up, She'll be so mad, wake dad up.
And I would then have nights where the girls would
(09:21):
come in and I would do the same as you.
I would pretend to be asleep. I hear them come in,
I've heard it. I've heard them go around and wake
day up, and I will lay there and pretend to
be asleep. Fucking mislike. I don't even know how it
(09:43):
came about. But they then saw me as this like monster, like,
don't wake the monster in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I also have had that a few times, and again
that's off the back of me just not having Obviously,
my patience barrier is very slim to none during a
certain window where I just get to the point where
I'm like, I'm exhausted. I can't give to any of you,
not single ioda.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I remember one time, Rachel, and I'm sure I've told
you about this, but Holly came in in the middle
of the night and I was so done, like I'd
been woken up a few times. I was just like
I turned around and I went and she looked at
me all like innocently. I started getting a bit teary,
(10:29):
and she said.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
My tooth came out.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh I am a shit mom,
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