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November 4, 2025 65 mins

In this episode, you'll discover:

  • Why being lied to reveals exactly what someone fears most
  • The counterintuitive question that makes people open up without feeling interrogated
  • How reading comfort shifts unlocks influence without manipulation


Ever notice how some people just have it? They walk into a room and within minutes, people are opening up to them. Sharing things they normally keep locked away. Laughing harder. Leaning in closer. And you're standing there thinking, what am I missing?

Here's the secret nobody wants to admit. Those people aren't more charismatic. They're not better looking or funnier or more interesting. They've just figured out something most of us completely overlook. They've learned to make other people feel like the most fascinating person in the room.

I spent years thinking I needed to be more interesting to be a better conversationalist. I'd prep stories, practice witty comebacks, show up armed with impressive facts. And I'd leave every conversation feeling exhausted and weirdly disconnected. Because I was performing instead of connecting. I was broadcasting instead of receiving. I was so focused on what I was going to say next that I missed everything actually happening in front of me.

Then I had kids. And suddenly I was faced with these tiny humans who would lie about the weirdest things, shut down at the slightest hint of judgment, and needed me to understand what they couldn't yet articulate. And I realized something that changed everything. The skills that make you an incredible parent are the exact same skills that make you magnetic in every other area of your life.

When you learn to listen in a way that makes people feel truly seen, you become the person everyone wants to talk to. The friend people call when life falls apart. The leader people trust with the truth. The partner who actually understands what's being said underneath the words.

Today our guest is Michael Reddington, a former investigative interviewer who spent his career getting people to share sensitive information under vulnerable circumstances. He's the author of The Disciplined Listening Method and founder of Inquasive, where he teaches the observation and questioning skills that transform ordinary conversations into genuine connection.

Links from the episode:


See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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