September 30, 2025 • 45 mins
Poppy has arrived!
Except, in this podcast universe, she's still in Mum's belly waiting for her father to sort out the hospital insurance...that he forgot to renew. Oh dear.
Ash is back from Bali and took home an additional pet, or some would call a parasite. The best cure is bed (and toilet), but unfortunately, Ash is in the middle of moving house.
Making a return for this week's episode is your Parenting Lies! We've got some good ones.
We also answer your parenting questions:
- How do you transition your kid out of pull-ups at night?
- At what age did you transition your kids to a big bed?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Us to see you in a different environment. That's a
lovely jacket.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
This one. Where did you get that?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh, this whole thing. It's from London. Have you been
to London? Welcome back to two notting dads. I am
(00:29):
Mattie Jay and I'm Ash and this is a podcast
all about parenting. It is the good, it is the
bad and the relatable. And we don't give advice, and
sure don't. We are somewhere different today.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
We are somewhere different.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
We are wed.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I know we are in my house, which we will
talk about a little bit later on in the episode.
Because of first, we have to do some important business again.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Before we do that. This is a it's a Nike jacket.
I can see a Nike jacket, Nike SB for skateboarding,
because I'm a rad dad. Housekeeping, housekeeping, yes, housekeeping. What
do you got for me?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You start?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Big news? Big news? Get ready, sit down, I'm already sitting.
Do you mean to stand up?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And this is back down.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Please, very exciting announcement to make hot off the press.
Actually no, it's not hot off the press. We're late
to the announcement. We almost announced this last weekend and
we got reprimanded because we were like everyone thinks that
were that little snakes, little weasels in the grass. We're
sharing news. First, what do you got for me? Come
on later on men?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You know Laura is still pregnant yep, about to give
but actually so it sounded like I was about to
announce the birth Pop is still out yet.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
But by the time this comes out, maybe well there
you go. Maybe check socials, but only check two notting
Dad Socials, not Life Oner.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah they are. We love Life un Cut. Laura's radio
show is called The Pickup Now features the one and only,
the very talented and handsome me. Oh no, it was
truly you back on radio, big guy.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah you said it. You've got a head for TV,
better voice for radio.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
That's two compliments in one head for TV. Yep. He
looked great, okay, and your voice is perfect, Like it's
a bit nasally, but thank you. I'll take it. Mine's nasally.
I was just fishing for compliments, just so I'm going
to be filling in. I can't remember when I start.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
That's that's the best way to go about a new gig.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Just not know. I do know that it starts at
three o'clock, finishes at four Monday to Friday.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Very good, two hours? One hour?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Is it just an hour? What do you mean? Just
an hour? You and Britt, myself and Brit together again.
I don't know when I start. I've been told many times,
and I'm now I'm too afraid to ask Laura because
she's like, if you don't write this, girl, I'm not
going to speak to you again. So right, And I've
asked the producer too many times, So now you'll have
(03:07):
to ask Laura and be like, where does Matt starts radio?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Well, I'm going to if you could, that's all right,
I will next time I talked to her. And also,
this will have come out this episode after my show
ed on Saturday night seventy thirty. If you missed it,
it's on every Saturday night now, straight after the AFL
Grand Final.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Do you get to watch it before it goes to
where I must do?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I don't know how this works, that's.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Except how do you feel good?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I'm going to be on a cruise ship when it
comes out, So you want to get to watch it
with no. I want to get to watch with my family.
I'll get to watch it with some of the crew
because we'll be.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
On the I'll watch it with your family on the ship.
Yeah you could do that.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I watched a lot of your TV with your family.
I know I'm due to visit this side of the
woods here. Now I hate it, you bloody, you'll love it.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I have a message for you. Can I I'm going
to steal your phone. If I can just read this
really quickly, You're going to love this. People will think
that we're such little losers because essentially, I's going to
read out a compliment to me. Yeah, get out. Someone
complimented me with that, dude. Get this Okay, this is
from the YouTube. We do now have these episodes in
(04:11):
full on YouTube, and we get a couple of comments,
just a couple. This is early early doors, so we
don't get like an influx, just one or two, a
peppering of comments.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I feel like this is a setup.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
No it's not, it's not. And this is a couple
of days ago. It reads I always found Maddie so attractive. Whoa,
but my god, Ash just keeps getting so damn handsome.
Wow did you leave that comment aging like fine wines
(04:44):
both of you. That's from Sophie Rose.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Thank you, Sophie. Wow, I don't know what I'm gonna.
I don't know if I can take it, take it.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Take it to Yeah, I take that one on the chin.
I will.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I will take that one on the chin. That's good.
That's good, Gear. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Nice little pep up to the ego. What you got
for me? Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Here we go a question for you off the Facebook group,
A little interaction here.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
We've got what important calls?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Have you missed? Because your kiddos have your phone? So
there was and I'm not sure if you know an
NFL player missed ten calls from his team because his
kid declined them to watch Bluie.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Have you missed anything important? Ah? I don't know. Probably
I did catch one's oscar when he was two.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
He was on my phone watching like Coconon or some shit,
I don't know, and he was sitting on my lap
and we were just like sitting there and I watched
a notification come up and he.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Just went and I was like, so intuitive.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So if you've got anything, please put it in the
Facebook group. Anything that you may have missed vital, The
more devastating, the better.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's what I want to hear. The only thing that
it's not not something I've missed, It's just something that
Marley's done is she has figured out how to She's
so good on Apple TV and she's like, Dad, I
figured out how to rent movies now. And I was like,
oh gosh, what do you mean. She's just gone through it,
just bought like one hundred dollars worth of movies, just
bought them.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Oh god, and like terrible movies as well, just ranted
the same movie features. I was like, fuck, I know
one time that Macy cleared April's calendar work calendar. Oh
thankfully it got it back, like you can time machine
on these computers, so you can go back to like
the previous backup technology.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
These days they are technology business. Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
And Matthew last thing for me, just with the housekeeping.
We ran a little competition a little while back for
five pro model jam Pikelets soft top surfboards. Thanks to
Onboard and Catch Surf, we.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Did look at you surfboards, what's next, kettles, toasts, appliances,
that's what we need.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
We do need appliants.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
We give away five surfboard and we have some winners.
We do have some winners. People have been waiting with
bita bread.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I know they've been contacted, but we thought we'd just
announced it here so the happy winners can celebrate one
more time before receiving the board, and then they get
to celebrate again.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
All let's if I have one, let's go.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
The first one is Ellie close, my mom close, Jess Courtney.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Congratulations, Jess, well done.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Well it's actually for her dad. Yeah, that's yep, yeah,
under your dad. Yeah, because he shreds. Kim is for cook.
So this man is the best dad to his groms.
He deserves to shred.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Then we've also got Sair sleeved.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
And then we've got Ashley Dicko as well for Tommy Dicko,
which is her dear husband. As she says, so five
boards coming out here to shred this summer.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Can't wait. But where do I buy them from?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Most surf shops that sell cash surf they are located
in Sydney Byron, and they've got two shops in BALI.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Love that TV show Surfboards. What can't you do is
that housekeeping that's not housekeeping. Housekeeping is continuing. Because I've
got a very quick little message to read out to you,
my guy.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, another compliment.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
No more compliments. Sorry, that's all I've got. I'm bad.
I'm limiting it to one compliment per day.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I don't want to be head.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Yeah, Jesus, could you imagine ash. This is from the
Facebook group, which is just absolutely popping off right now.
It's just people having a great time in there. People
go in there. It's a party. It's a party. People
going there all weekend, just hanging out, other parents waiting
for others to join. Very hard to get in, like
it's the wait list now it's growing. So if you
(08:32):
do want to get in, I suggest you jump in
there right now and join. This one is from Francesca. Okay,
she has written in and she said things you've never
tried that always surprise people. Okay, so very interesting answers.
I'm not here to judge anyone.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Is it that I've never tried or my kids have
never tried?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Well, this is for parents, Okay, so I thought I'm
going to ask you if there's anything your child hasn't
tried in just the second to hold that thought. But
some of the people wrote in and again, not here
to judge, but it's it's interesting. This is for educational purposes. Jenny,
she never watched a footy game. Never surely passively she
has well, I mean I'm taking this as she's never once, wow,
(09:13):
willingly passively unwillingly.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Well, surely if you're flicking through the channels and a
bit of foot is that classified?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
And she just I don't know, gre literally Deborah never
had oysters. Deborah Nicole never had coffee beer.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Get this eggs, coffee beer and eggs. Yeah, that's pretty
much my diet.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Very good. But I wanted to know, is there anything
that your kids have never, never had, never tried to killer?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Okay, there's one whiskey Macy has actually, and I'll tell
you why has never had full cream milk?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Interesting that I know of.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Interesting, And she is mine and most of her meals
and consumption happens around me.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So why no full cream milk?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So when Oscar was a baby, you had a dairy intolerance.
So my wife and Oscar sort of just came adapted
to oat milk. That's right, And we never really we
never went back.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
I don't know about what about baby chinos, No, they're
oat milk. You get oat milk baby chinos. As far
as I know you are a wanker. It wasn't me.
It's not me.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I'm not getting oatmealk baby Chino.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
It's April. Yeah, I take that back. It's just beautiful
and perfect. Yeah, so as far as I know.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Look, honestly, some of those baby Chinos could have been
a full cream milk. But I haven't willingly given her.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Not not that I would not if she didn't, if
she asked, I'd give it to her. I'm not withholding.
I'm not gaykeey man, what's with you?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And keep it all? You don't like full cream? I do?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I do, but not I don't drink a lot of
milk anyway, because I feel like makes.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You think, athy, what about you? What about your kids?
My kids have never tried going a full day without
fucking complaining? Oh God, gone a full night's sleep? Ever? No,
probably once or twice. Wow, I think No, Not to
(11:15):
make it sound like my kids have experienced all that
life has to offer. I don't know. I'm just nothing.
Springs to mind, my guy. We'll have a think about
it anyway, we come back next week.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You talk about it. But is that at the end
of housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I reckon that's the end of it is all.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Right, Well, how are you going? Thanks for coming over,
it's good to be here.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Good. Can I just say I do actually want to
say serious moment right now, man to man, friend of friend, congratulations,
thank you. It is a huge milestone moment, purchasing your
own property, and it's incredible.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
You know when I met you you were down and out.
Yeah you know I was. I was worried about you.
I'm not gonna lie and you look look at you
now you've done a full one eighty riving and it's
nice to be back in. Can I say the suburbs warryhood, worriorhood.
(12:10):
Can we reveal an information? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah about stomping ground.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
It's nice.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I know everything seems to be tracking along nicely. I'm
just waiting for something to go wrong.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
This is I want to jinx it. But this is
it's such a great place. Yeah, I'm looking around. I've
been both bathrooms, ship in both bathrooms. I've done one
Wii in one poo.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, but you pooed in the on suite immediate as
soon as you're walking. So Matt walks in and goes,
this is lovely. Where's the toilet? There it is in
the master. I didn't even close the door, and then
you have the audacity to leave the fan on and
shut the door to cost me thousands.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It's a fan. It's the exhaust fan. It's not the heater.
It's electricity, very stinky. Open a window, it was already open.
Oh my goodness. I turned the fan on to be considerate. Yeah, okay, right,
it's great. It's lovely.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I haven't even turned in the garage yet. That's the
best part.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I know, I haven't had the grand tour just yet.
But no, it's amazing, well done.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
If you were happy, the kids are happy. I'm happy.
There's a kids playground just there. There's all these bike
pass around the cafes back in the picture.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But we'll talk about.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
The move itself later on as we talk about what's
going on with you.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Look Ash. There's no easy way to say this, No,
he's a way to say this. I think it's important
at this point just to remind people who may be
listening right now that regardless of who the individual is, Okay,
no one is perfect. Sure we all make mistakes, do
we Okay, every one of us. You've made many? What
(13:48):
as I I you know, I'm constantly learning, because when
you make a mistake, it's important that you take something
out of that. I stand by all my mistakes. Oh yeah,
I've made a big mistake. Oh we're talking about you
all right, now here we go. Probably my biggest mistake
of the year, of the year, I reckon. Yeah, I'll
(14:10):
put it up there. It's all right, it's a good one.
Go on. So when we had Marley and Lola, my
first two children, for anyone wondering, we had them in
the public health system, which is great.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Yeah, in Australia, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
The Royal Women's Hospital over around week, great hospital. Okay,
we loved it there. You know, we had a great experience.
But for each of those berths, we were out of
there as quickly as we could. Laura was like, we
good to go, let's wrap this up. I'm packing my bags,
I'm going home. She wants to go home. Actually, yeah,
she wanted to go home, like just super quick. We
(14:46):
had about one night, one night out of there.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, I was in there for like five nights.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
But April had se section two sections, yeah, which is understandable.
And then number three we look back and we go
we're going to do it differently. We're going to make
sure that Laura has a bit of time in there,
a few nights, just to rest up, enjoy some one
on one time with a newborn. I'm going to look
after the kids at home. Great dad, Yeah, great dad. Okay,
(15:13):
and we're going to do that private. Okay, yep, in
the private system.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Okay, yep.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Okay, why not? Okay, that's the plan, good plan.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, we did both private.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, thank you, thank you. There's a problem.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh okay, what is it? What have you done?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Okay? Hospitals are very expensive, they are you do not
make them cheaper?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Insurance?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yes? Oh no? Two issues? Two issues here, Oh god.
Issue number one. My insurance bill was due December last year. Okay, okay,
we're now in September.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
It's not that far over.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So my insurance has been canceled.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Oh fuck, yeah, but you're not pregnant.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
No. I like what you're doing here. The other issue
is admin falls into my job. I'm aware when we
got insurance, I had the option, oh god, to get bronze,
silver or gold. Okay, so I've managed to wheezel my
way to get the insurance renewed. The issue is I
(16:23):
opted for the Bronze. Okay, if you cut a leg off,
you cover it. Great, great, great, great ambulance trip you
cover it, no problem, fantastic, just excess right, dental work,
you cover it. Okay. But Bronze, you're not covered for pregnancies. Pregnancy,
stay our pregnancy, stay well all pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And I was like, that's okay, I'll just like to
add that in please. Now when is she expecting next week?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It turns out just a little bit of a lesson
for people who may not know this. If you want
to change your insurance, you gotta wait twelve months before
you can claim it.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Right, So in a minute, I still claim it, though, No,
oh you can't.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Laura would have to wait four months until.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Now she would have to get pregnant again.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, I said, look, can you just hold a little longer?
How long have I got? Twelve months? It went is three?
You can give birth the one three eleven months and
twenty nine days.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh man, that's a grave mistake. A little bit, a
little bit, that's tough.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah. She wasn't happy about it, and I just I.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Was just gonna ask what Laura say, what were exact words.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I think she took it pretty well. I think she
took it pretty well. So now we're kind of trying
to figure out what to do right before the baby
comes out.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Can you quickly switch back over to the public system.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, anytime, anytime, So if you mean,
oh my god, because you know, if it's public, so
if you have a baby, I think it helps it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
So if you just turned up in having contraptions.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, they just I think the law was just there's
always a bed spare. Oh my god. Oh that's the spirit.
That was what There's always a bed free somewhere. There's
some chairs in the waiting room, the bloody cleaner's closets. Ah,
(18:18):
look this to this, this is just like a persa,
a bit of word of advice. We can't give advice,
just just like this is advice.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Check your insurance.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Check your insurance. If you're going to have a baby,
make sure you're covered for staying in hospital.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I don't even know if I have insurance.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Because we love insurance in the show. Yeah right right,
so we do say it, we love insurance. Sorry, yeah,
we had a bit of an oversight.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
That's referring to us.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Don't mention anything I mentioned from old episodes. We still
get messages about it. I'll still wait for them to stop.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
So, Matt, we are in this house that you mentioned before.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
But how did we get here?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Houses a stretch?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
What does it all mean?
Speaker 1 (19:07):
It's a unit, houses a stretch, It's a townhouse. It
was a penthouse of the town It is a penthouse
of the townhouse.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I do call it, referred to it as the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
But how did we get here?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah? Tell me? So?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
As you know, I returned from Bali?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, which trip?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Was this the one only leisure trip I've had this year?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Okay, thank you very much. Even I'm going to cruise
this week anyway, Ah, I returned from there to having
to go straight into the move. Okay, we already knew that.
We sort of pre packed and threw a lot of
stuff out.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
A quickly is do you need any help? Is there
anything you want me to do?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Too late for that? Thank you for offering, appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So we get back.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Prior to that, we were throwing things out, we talked
about Marketplace and how annoying that is also what I
think is very funny. April wanted to get rid of
a mirror. How do you take a photo of mirror?
And if you do a little Google and it's like
people taking pictures of mirrors.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
So it's so funny. And Averyone's like, what do I do?
And then she was like, every angle it's got something
I don't want. I'm just like, it's just it's just
a mirror, mirror. Well that thing is gone, do you
sell it? Give it away?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
And she just gave it away.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
But it's not like April. She gave what do you mean?
She gave away a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But she was a bit overwhelmed because when as soon
as you put up free, it's.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Just like, dude, so brew, what am I saying? Oh,
you could put something on for five bucks, get no nibbles? Yeah,
for free, you get less harassed. I know.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Avery was like, I'm just stressed. I'm like you wanted to.
I was like, it's free. What's the difference if a
ghost to someone who goes in the bin? To me,
no difference.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I think it's just knowing that you're not being wasteful.
I don't care for that was the second line.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
I don't care for that sentence. I don't I honestly
do not care. Do not give a fucking rats ass
where the free shit ends up, as long as it's
not just dumped on the street, which is which which
we didn't do. We was free, or it was a
council cleanup, or a friend took it or threw it
(21:18):
in the fucking rubbish or whatever. But yeah, so we
got back straight into moving mode. The only problem is
Matt I seem to on the way home pick up
what they call a parasite.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Oh my god, did you though? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Oh, I never want to.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
You know how bad it is when you've got you's
still sick. No, no, I come.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I came good like Saturday.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
You know what it's like when you a bit.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
You know, when you're you got barley belly, gashtro whatever
those sort of things are. You're just so depleted because
you're weak.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Try and move in a house and it's like, I like,
it's like one of the most stressful experiences that anyone
can go through in their entire life.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Pick up a pillow and I'm like, ba, I need
to help, I need to muscle.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah, how did April? Because she's strong, she is, she's
very strong. That's a compliment.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Oh I know, And she is very strong at the moment.
It's crazy. She is training hard, training the house down.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I'm hoping that she comes back and I can be
like lift that couch.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Lift it over your head, squat on it now, just
like she's not.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Your circus animal. Did you do it solo? Did you
have a moval list?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
We had, so we for all the big stuff, which
which was a full day of them. So they put
it all up there, bring it down, bring it all
in here far Togo was a five minutes five minutes,
so it worked. It worked out. It's still expensive, but
worth every because I could not have done it, we
would still be up there.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I was so weak.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
I was like carrying or I was carrying like I
could carry a box. I'm not going to be specific.
What was in the box?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Please go ahead.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
It was empty. April had to carry a majority of it.
But I have been a workhorse since I've been like
fixing things, changing things.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Who made this table? I made?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I bang that together with a drill or screwdriver? No,
I just see classic allan key.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Wait until you get a drill.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
I'm worried. If I get a drill, I'll change.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Look at me. He's still as pathetic as always.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
So yeah, there's but the problem is with moves as well.
There's always a lot of rubbish. No matter how much
you prep and throw you out, there's always rubbish. And
I will say that I I was caught again.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
A while back.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I told you that I was putting rubbish in the
name of bin and they drove in the driveway as
I was doing it.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
What it was on the street.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, yeah, For a second, I thought, I mean, I'm
in the kitchen eating cereal.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Don't check the bins.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Yeah yeah, And I got caught and I was like, anyway, but.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
That's playing on. I got caught. But people are weird
with their bits. People are weird, dude. Yeah, by recycling cardboard,
like the anxiety I get trying to manage the recycling.
It's a full time job. And I put all the
bins on the street and I put recycling in their
bin as they were let the dog out for a week,
and I was face to face with them and it
(24:16):
was like I was selling drugs.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
And you're like, it was like you were eating out
of the ban in there. This was a bit different.
So I left it for it to be dark.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
You put like a battleclaver On.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, I left it to be dark, and I knew
my target. I knew the bin. I knew that that
one's going to be half for because yeah, elderly, yeah,
and I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
See him very much. He's lonely.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah, And I'm like, that's my next target. I can't
go back up to the other one because they'll see
me and they'll be like.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
How late did you leave it? I just thought it
was dark enough. It was dark. Got to wait till
nine o'clock. Oh no, that's when you're.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Clean up, gummied out, and I'm melting into the cow.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I did my best work. After nine o'clock, I'm roaming
the streets.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, I'm giggling mass the street. Anyway, So I went
out there, I opened the bin, okay, and I went
I put went to put the rubbish in, and I
looked to my rat and there was three people around
a car anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
They looked at me. Gotcha.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
They had a torch and a car hang on, sorry
anyway there, and I've dumped it and put it down
and looked at them, and they looked at me. And
I've realized they must have locked their keys in their car.
But they looked like they were committing a crime. So
I went and they went back to what they were doing,
(25:46):
and we just went out separate ways. And I was like, whoa,
what I was doing was not illegal, same.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
For you, because you obviously it was obvious that.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I was just looking so sass here I am, he
can rubbish into a bin and they look like they're
trying to steal a car on the same street.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
If someone had drove down the street, they would have
been like, oh god, the crime.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Anyway, So I went on my way and I left
it at that, and I thought, this new place ruin
is the complex. So someone else takes the bins out,
which is what's that like?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
You haven't experience? You had one day one last week.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I got home from a busy day, got home, pulled
up out the front. The bins are out the front,
looking nice, not out of.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Place at all.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You could set your watch by how straight it was.
And then I was like, I'm just going to have
a look at the man's work or woman's work, whoever
does I don't know, And it's like all the bins
are like perfectly leveled nice.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
I was like, this is liven, this is great question
is there a pool in this complex? No? Sorry, sorry
not to.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
No, which gladly not because it just wheaked your strata
up there he is, because you've got to maintain the
funt there he is.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Wow, I can't wait, Ash caun't wake. I think when
we started working together, you were like, I'm never going
to buy a house. That's idiots.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
I was forced into this by by my beautiful, loving wife.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I mean, wow, what you have to go through the pain,
the agony.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
But I'm glad we're here now, I'm glad we're here.
I'm not and it worked it out.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Excuse me? Enough money? This is pocket change.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I do everything for free. What do you mean you're
getting paid for this? What I do like is Oscar
we worked out. Oscar has moved seven times and he's six.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
My sister's similar in that they flipped houses pretty frequently,
so every year they moved house, and their kids were like, hey, mom,
we spoke to the other kids at school and none
of them are moved house. That's because they're so It's
just the norm for him.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, and Oscar, remember we moved into that last place,
which was always going to be temporary because it was
a friend's player. It just happened. The timing just worked
out nicely. I remember like a week or two in
Oscar's like so when we moved to our next house
and I was like, oh fuck, and then April was
like it can't be good for him and the anxiety
around all of it.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
What does he think? What does Macey think? More importantly, Macy,
she loves.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It so far, so I guess like, well done. It's
not now do you know what they really like? And
that's the thing is with their bedroom now, because it's
not a rental. I'm like, you could do whatever you
want in here, drawing the walls, whatever you want to
the court. Don't do either of those things. I just
meant like, if you go in there, then she's got
the wall. She's got a bluey poster. Cherry Evans is
(28:38):
on the wall for Oscar. There's a manly flag, there's
a Pokemon.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
It's weird. It's weird looking at you right now. There's
a homeowner. You're such an adult.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
I know, when did I become a fucking story?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I know it's like I'm going next week you'll have
a bloody jump around your neck talking about buying a yacht.
I just got off my yacht. You were morphing.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I'm not one of my going into upper class norsere.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yes? Yeah, ah yes? Should we go into pair rounds?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Should okay start for this?
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I want to be free, as you say, what man,
I feel like a parent anyone who doesn't know what
parents are. It is just an opportunity for parents to
get whatever frustrations they're experiencing for the week off their chest,
(29:35):
to feel some comfort, some solace, solace. What do you
say solace?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I am not solace.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Type in s O L.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I see comfort or consolation in time of distress or sad.
Well said, thank you?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Actually, now okay, my brain does work. I mean to
go first, Yeah, please go with Ella.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Okay, Ella, thank you for writing in why do kids
do this? Exclamation mark? Big question mark? Kids are outside playing?
Their dad is out there too. I go inside to
the tot. In literally point zero five seconds, the oldest
comes inside yelling out to me. They want their bike
helmet taken off, like didn't you pass your dad on
the way inside? Also go back outside the bike helmet
(30:18):
is back on. Why I know?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I mean it's normally me No one talk ill of
Laura M. It's only me. I know.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
I get bypassed a bit from my kids, So they
go straight to Mum or they do that thing where
they ask you and don't get the answer they wanted
and then they go to the next person.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
The amount of times I'm so bloody careful with the helmet,
but the amount of times I've tried to clip it on,
Lola and you get the skin? Can I get? You know?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
What I'm not liking, just really quickly off the back
of that is whenever I put some food in my mouth,
a kid goes, what was that? None of your fucking business.
It's my food.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
That was not my porridge in the morning, or like
they just have this.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
They just can smell dairy milk from three suburbs over
and I'll be like, I'll chuck, oh, sneak a bit
of chocolate in my mouth. And Oscar from fucking down
the road.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Comes home from school, he'd be like, what's that Like,
it's fucking one o'clock on a Friday. Who he smells
like dairy milk? Ash This one is from Sarah Jane,
A little high and a little heifey. Someone please help
me deal with my five year old daughter's sass. She
constantly gets cleaning up awards at school, but I cannot
even bribe her to do it at home. And she
makes such a mess with her toys. I just told her,
(31:31):
if she doesn't clean up her mess, I'll get the
garbage bag and throw away all her toys. She said, hey, Mom,
let me get that bag for you. Oh my god,
I'm not looking forward to the teen years.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Oh my goodness. Do you know what she's doing at school? Well,
with that sass, she's outsourcing and taking all the glory.
So I reckon she's gone everyone out, all of her friends,
She's manipulated them to do all the cleaning up. And
then the teacher's like, oh, who do you all these
clean up?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Which is like, it's me, It was all me, all mine.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I've really I've really narrowed the character.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, your child is a psychopath.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
I know the fact that she's gone, oh help, It's
like it's like if Matt jumped off the bridge, would
you jump off the bridge too? And it's like, oh yeah,
I'd push her, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
It's also someone once said to me, you shouldn't make
threats that you can't follow through. And at the moment.
Marley's similar, She's really pushing the boundaries and I'm like,
if you talk to me one more time like that,
we're going home. And she's like, fucking sweet, no, we're not.
Let's go bluffer yeah, and I'm like, I want to
go home. Macy's the same.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Macy's starting to become the sas queen where she'll just
sash you back instead of doing what I've asked.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
What is Macey going to be here? I get to
see her? Maybe?
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Maybe should We just finished today's episode with some questions.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, ash. This one is from Dannyelle. Hi, Dannielle. She
asks what age did your child stop needing to wear
pull ups at night? Did you try anything that helped?
Oldest child needed to use a bed wedding alarm and
succeeded in using it for the recommended two weeks? The
youngest is only five and a half years old, but
we hope to help move things forward this summer.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Okay, so they want to get out of nappies correctletely. Yeah,
from what I remember, and Macy still will wear him
at night. How old is Macy She's going to be
four yep, but she's she's.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
In the cusp of going without.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
She's about to go the night, but all days will
go without. And she has done for ages, but she
hasn't quite nailed the nighttime. What to do at night?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, I mean it's such potlark. You need to get
a child ash that I think finds it really easy
and they do it themselves. It was like Oscar.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Oscar was really like and I think with boys because
they can just whip it out in a piece of
a bush somewhere that they're like, he just all of
a sudden, like just took to it.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
So what did you do with Oscar to go, Okay,
you're ready to stop wearing pull ups at night?
Speaker 1 (34:01):
I think I recall that he didn't want to wear
them anymore, and we were like, all right, well, if
you don't want to wear them all anymore, you've got
to go to the toilet before you go to sleep. Firstly,
you're such a good dad, thank you. And then if
you need to, we there's a nightlight in there so
you can get up and go. Don't just piss in
your bed, And that's great advice.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
And the same with Macy, she's sort of like the
first step she just I just walked in and she
was taking a shit and she was holding a book,
and I'm like, well, my job is done here.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
But she's getting She's a bit.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Harder at night, I think because I think being the
second child, we can see her, always see her. He's like,
oh little girl, you know, instead of like with Oscar
it was like felt like he was growing up earlier
and quicker. But it's more just because he's bigger and
she's the little, the little one of the family.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
But it's tricky.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I guess. I also don't want to have to be
changing sheets, but we committed to this summer being the
end of nappies. Apparently not my call.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
It is nice.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
It is nice to get because it's it's just for
wheeze in bed. But every now and then she'll take
a ship and then I've got to change it. I'm like,
I don't miss this.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Like I walk past the room and it's like she's
just mouth opens, big guy.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Anyway, that's my I don't know when you do it
three or four, you.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Got to what I think if you there's not advice,
but if you are a full week with dry nappies,
oh yeah, and then you can just float the idea.
Hey kid, here's an idea. What do you think about
not wearing nappers a nighttime?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I think kids love the love progression as much as
we love progression. Yeah, because if you're like, well that's awesome,
they're like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm doing well, I'm
doing well. What about that lady who was trying to
who was bloody training a five week old baby? Who
was but I sent to you.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I don't watch. I'm sorry, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
The comments are the funny.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Five weeks old? Yeah, five weeks She is currently five
weeks old. She's not even an American domination.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Communication, and she hasn't done a poo in her NEPI
in the last week.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Pretty much, I am listening.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
To her cues. Check the comments the best to go,
so pretty much she goes in the morning between seven
and nine and then in the afternoon between.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Two and four.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It'd be so funny that could just let one read
right there, read the comments. This week, she's starting to
hold them herself, so she's learning to hold until we're
on the toilet, and then she'll let go once we're there.
Check the comments is the best?
Speaker 2 (36:48):
That is not real? That is not real?
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Read the comments.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Okay, here are the comments. My five weeks old is
already starting to drive. She's going to go to license soon.
There was one that was my nineteen year old cleaner
room today. That's not real. It's not real. That's rage
baiting at its finest.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
My newborn drove me home from the hospital after being born. Wow, anyway,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Be like that. I mean, is it possible?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Apparently there's there's a subculture that that was the case
in early early generations where they would they then yeah,
like there's a word for I can't remember. Sorry, I'm
not that smart. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
My question, how's as being like, oh, yeah, she's four
and still wear and pull up nappies. Are they looking
at us and being like you guys are pathetic.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
And like what like that baby doesn't know what it's doing. Nah,
you're what they call And the technical term is called delulu.
She's delusional and that's the technical.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Maybe I'm going to potty train our five we got.
Laura is going to let me do it.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Now, don't you dare be coming out of there? Shit,
don't you dare come into this world and ship into Nabby,
gon't even think about it?
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Yeah, all right, I've got one more question before we
let the folks of the two Doting Dad's universe go
back to their daily lives. From Anna, what age did
you transition lot to transitions? What age did you transition
your kids to a big bed? What did your nighttime
routine look like to put them to sleep? Look, we
(38:37):
approached it with big bed being like a big moment, right,
So how old was three? Both kids three?
Speaker 2 (38:45):
I don't even remember. It was the third we do it? Third,
we did it third.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I say, like, we do it like we I'm going
to do it again, but I've had it a second me.
I can't do it again. April can do it again,
she wants.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
At three.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
It was kind of like fifth third birthday along with things,
it's not their only present. I'm like cruel, Like with
third birthday you get a big bed, and it was
like and we made it so it was to the
so that they were excited about it. So because it's
a big milester, it is it is, but I also
wanted them to be excited so they didn't get out
of it. If I'm like, I've got to get you
(39:17):
out of that cod if they love it so much oh,
I can put you into big bed. There's no excitement.
So they're just like, I'll just fucking get out of
this thing. But like they don't get me wrong, they
still get out of it and get into my bed
every now and then.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
But like it was like you've got a big bed.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
They come home from school or daycare on their birthday,
they'll have a brand new bed with a new Princess
Dooner cover on it, and all of a sudden make
he's like, I'm never getting out of this thing.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
And I'm like, good, you can make anything a big
deal for the kids. Oh, and they'll believe it. Oh
if you were like you're so lucky you're getting broccoli
for dinner and they're like, really, I am pretty lucky.
Yeah you're right.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's why we have that segment lies
so you can add them to you at those little
lines because they are stupid.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I don't even remember, dude, I can't. For me, someone
had to go with me on the Sassy Scott video
because they were like, all newborns need to eat every
three hours, and I was like do they like I
can't remember.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I can't remember details, like what's going on in your
life that you've got to stop and correct someone to say, hey, Matt.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You're an idiot. Yeah. I was like sorry, I was sorry,
let him know what dated?
Speaker 1 (40:28):
But what if it's what if they're like, what if
that person probably doesn't have any kids.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
I was just like, well, I'm assuming that that would
be to every three hours, but our nighttime routine. And
I'm pretty sure this is universal, right, I feel like
everyone's on the same routine. Okay, tell me you don't assume.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Well, lots of different types of parents out there.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Okay, So we smack our children in the head, yes, yeah,
and that puts them a sleep pretty well? What we
do to put into bed? Okay, get this, write this down?
Are you ready for it?
Speaker 1 (40:56):
I don't have a pan up here?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Five we're having dinner. Yeah, that's okay, don't don't respond, Okay,
just listen. Okay, listen, absolvebly be a sponge. Just shut
up and get on with it. Okay. We're in the
bath time around about six thirty yep, okay, fifteen minutes
in the bar. We're then upstairs we're getting changed for bed.
(41:23):
Seven o'clock. Roughly read a story sometimes one maybe two, right,
and then that is it?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
What are you reading?
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Day? I think it was absolutely you know what, nothing
and that's it. And they're in that's it.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
And they do they because they share a room like
my kids. Yeah, they interact after you leave the room much.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Marley's pretty chatty and Lola's always like, shut up, we're
going to fucking bed.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like mine.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Lola's tired. Dude, She's like she wants to go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
She knows herself. She's like, I know me when I
go to sleep now, cranky as fuck tomorrow and I
have to take it out of my dad.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Well, I was getting horizontal, just out. Yeah. And the
occasionally occasionally they will be like I want some more water.
But like a the marment, we're pretty good.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
We've moved on from the baths to the showers. Your
face was like, do you not wash you kids? It?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Because I fucking washed my kids. Sorry, but we've moved on.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
To showers because they're quicker. And I saw I had
another video that was going to show another.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Lady who talked about no toys in the bath. Smart yeah,
because we always when they drop the bucket of toys
in the bath, I'm like, for fux.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
I'm going to be here all week. The quarter's cold,
and they're like, oh what you know the toys outside
of the bath too, But it's I don't like when
they're really little and you're like washing them down and
there's some toys to keep them engaged fine with. But
then I didn't even think about not having them in there.
So now in the shower, they get in, they wash,
they brush their teeth, they're out, they shower, we're doing books.
(42:51):
And I also I can argue the point too where
it's like, because we're not bathing for fifteen twenty minutes anymore,
you get an extra book. Like we get an extra
book time we can lay together. I don't like reading books.
Have a gummy and read the book. It's so funny.
I don't condone that, but I have a prescription so
(43:13):
I can. But yeah, that's us. That's just us for
another week, perfect beautiful. Anyway, that's bathroom Team. So if
you've got any questions.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
You don't answer her question, do we ever answer anyone's question?
I think it was a serious question from Anna, and
I did write to her. I said, don't worry. I
know we're going to cover this in the next episode.
I just think it's nice that we talked about it. Yeah, Anna,
I hope you're happy.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
She's well too bad anyway, if you've enjoyed this episode, please.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Send it to someone anyway, send her to Anna and
leave a review.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yes, little and yeah, go on Little something something and
you can catch us on social media.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
We're at two doting dads on Instagram, on TikTok on
their Facebook as well and YouTube. Now we have YouTube
full episodes. I'd love to know. I'd love to know. Yeah,
here's a question message us and tell us when you
watch YouTube. Do you have it on in the background
as you're like doing some cleaning or do you sit
down and you just watch it?
Speaker 1 (44:16):
I reckon, Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
There we go, There we go. That's good. Let's do
what they come back with and you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
What would you do?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Okay, this is gonna say, this is going to self indulgent.
But I didn't watch back, Jess, I lovely producer edited
it and I was watching it back and I just
watched us. I watched myself.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
Fuck, have do you have pants on?
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Let's get out of here.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
You're right at the top, you're pinned Okay, am I
pinned on your phone?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I've what's pinned?
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Good one, I've done it. What's you can pin your
favorite people to the top of a chat?
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Didn't know that?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Just like in the phone book, you're in my favorites.
You're number two.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Thank you who number one? April? I'll get there. Lingerie two.
Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
Us to see you in a different environment. That's a
lovely jacket.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
This one. Where did you get that?
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Oh, this whole thing. It's from London. Have you been
to London? Welcome back to two notting dads. I am
(00:29):
Mattie Jay and I'm Ash and this is a podcast
all about parenting. It is the good, it is the
bad and the relatable. And we don't give advice, and
sure don't. We are somewhere different today.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
We are somewhere different.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
We are wed.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I know we are in my house, which we will
talk about a little bit later on in the episode.
Because of first, we have to do some important business again.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Before we do that. This is a it's a Nike jacket.
I can see a Nike jacket, Nike SB for skateboarding,
because I'm a rad dad. Housekeeping, housekeeping, yes, housekeeping. What
do you got for me?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You start?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Big news? Big news? Get ready, sit down, I'm already sitting.
Do you mean to stand up?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
And this is back down.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Please, very exciting announcement to make hot off the press.
Actually no, it's not hot off the press. We're late
to the announcement. We almost announced this last weekend and
we got reprimanded because we were like everyone thinks that
were that little snakes, little weasels in the grass. We're
sharing news. First, what do you got for me? Come
on later on men?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You know Laura is still pregnant yep, about to give
but actually so it sounded like I was about to
announce the birth Pop is still out yet.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
But by the time this comes out, maybe well there
you go. Maybe check socials, but only check two notting
Dad Socials, not Life Oner.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Yeah they are. We love Life un Cut. Laura's radio
show is called The Pickup Now features the one and only,
the very talented and handsome me. Oh no, it was
truly you back on radio, big guy.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Yeah you said it. You've got a head for TV,
better voice for radio.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
That's two compliments in one head for TV. Yep. He
looked great, okay, and your voice is perfect, Like it's
a bit nasally, but thank you. I'll take it. Mine's nasally.
I was just fishing for compliments, just so I'm going
to be filling in. I can't remember when I start.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
That's that's the best way to go about a new gig.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Just not know. I do know that it starts at
three o'clock, finishes at four Monday to Friday.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Very good, two hours? One hour?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Is it just an hour? What do you mean? Just
an hour? You and Britt, myself and Brit together again.
I don't know when I start. I've been told many times,
and I'm now I'm too afraid to ask Laura because
she's like, if you don't write this, girl, I'm not
going to speak to you again. So right, And I've
asked the producer too many times, So now you'll have
(03:07):
to ask Laura and be like, where does Matt starts radio?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Well, I'm going to if you could, that's all right,
I will next time I talked to her. And also,
this will have come out this episode after my show
ed on Saturday night seventy thirty. If you missed it,
it's on every Saturday night now, straight after the AFL
Grand Final.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Do you get to watch it before it goes to
where I must do?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I don't know how this works, that's.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Except how do you feel good?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I'm going to be on a cruise ship when it
comes out, So you want to get to watch it
with no. I want to get to watch with my family.
I'll get to watch it with some of the crew
because we'll be.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
On the I'll watch it with your family on the ship.
Yeah you could do that.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I watched a lot of your TV with your family.
I know I'm due to visit this side of the
woods here. Now I hate it, you bloody, you'll love it.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
I have a message for you. Can I I'm going
to steal your phone. If I can just read this
really quickly, You're going to love this. People will think
that we're such little losers because essentially, I's going to
read out a compliment to me. Yeah, get out. Someone
complimented me with that, dude. Get this Okay, this is
from the YouTube. We do now have these episodes in
(04:11):
full on YouTube, and we get a couple of comments,
just a couple. This is early early doors, so we
don't get like an influx, just one or two, a
peppering of comments.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I feel like this is a setup.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
No it's not, it's not. And this is a couple
of days ago. It reads I always found Maddie so attractive. Whoa,
but my god, Ash just keeps getting so damn handsome.
Wow did you leave that comment aging like fine wines
(04:44):
both of you. That's from Sophie Rose.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Thank you, Sophie. Wow, I don't know what I'm gonna.
I don't know if I can take it, take it.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Take it to Yeah, I take that one on the chin.
I will.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I will take that one on the chin. That's good.
That's good, Gear. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Nice little pep up to the ego. What you got
for me? Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Here we go a question for you off the Facebook group,
A little interaction here.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
We've got what important calls?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Have you missed? Because your kiddos have your phone? So
there was and I'm not sure if you know an
NFL player missed ten calls from his team because his
kid declined them to watch Bluie.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Have you missed anything important? Ah? I don't know. Probably
I did catch one's oscar when he was two.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
He was on my phone watching like Coconon or some shit,
I don't know, and he was sitting on my lap
and we were just like sitting there and I watched
a notification come up and he.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Just went and I was like, so intuitive.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So if you've got anything, please put it in the
Facebook group. Anything that you may have missed vital, The
more devastating, the better.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's what I want to hear. The only thing that
it's not not something I've missed, It's just something that
Marley's done is she has figured out how to She's
so good on Apple TV and she's like, Dad, I
figured out how to rent movies now. And I was like,
oh gosh, what do you mean. She's just gone through it,
just bought like one hundred dollars worth of movies, just
bought them.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Oh god, and like terrible movies as well, just ranted
the same movie features. I was like, fuck, I know
one time that Macy cleared April's calendar work calendar. Oh
thankfully it got it back, like you can time machine
on these computers, so you can go back to like
the previous backup technology.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
These days they are technology business. Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
And Matthew last thing for me, just with the housekeeping.
We ran a little competition a little while back for
five pro model jam Pikelets soft top surfboards. Thanks to
Onboard and Catch Surf, we.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Did look at you surfboards, what's next, kettles, toasts, appliances,
that's what we need.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
We do need appliants.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
We give away five surfboard and we have some winners.
We do have some winners. People have been waiting with
bita bread.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I know they've been contacted, but we thought we'd just
announced it here so the happy winners can celebrate one
more time before receiving the board, and then they get
to celebrate again.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
All let's if I have one, let's go.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
The first one is Ellie close, my mom close, Jess Courtney.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Congratulations, Jess, well done.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Well it's actually for her dad. Yeah, that's yep, yeah,
under your dad. Yeah, because he shreds. Kim is for cook.
So this man is the best dad to his groms.
He deserves to shred.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Then we've also got Sair sleeved.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
And then we've got Ashley Dicko as well for Tommy Dicko,
which is her dear husband. As she says, so five
boards coming out here to shred this summer.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Can't wait. But where do I buy them from?
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Most surf shops that sell cash surf they are located
in Sydney Byron, and they've got two shops in BALI.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Love that TV show Surfboards. What can't you do is
that housekeeping that's not housekeeping. Housekeeping is continuing. Because I've
got a very quick little message to read out to you,
my guy.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Okay, another compliment.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
No more compliments. Sorry, that's all I've got. I'm bad.
I'm limiting it to one compliment per day.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I don't want to be head.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Yeah, Jesus, could you imagine ash. This is from the
Facebook group, which is just absolutely popping off right now.
It's just people having a great time in there. People
go in there. It's a party. It's a party. People
going there all weekend, just hanging out, other parents waiting
for others to join. Very hard to get in, like
it's the wait list now it's growing. So if you
(08:32):
do want to get in, I suggest you jump in
there right now and join. This one is from Francesca. Okay,
she has written in and she said things you've never
tried that always surprise people. Okay, so very interesting answers.
I'm not here to judge anyone.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Is it that I've never tried or my kids have
never tried?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Well, this is for parents, Okay, so I thought I'm
going to ask you if there's anything your child hasn't
tried in just the second to hold that thought. But
some of the people wrote in and again, not here
to judge, but it's it's interesting. This is for educational purposes. Jenny,
she never watched a footy game. Never surely passively she
has well, I mean I'm taking this as she's never once, wow,
(09:13):
willingly passively unwillingly.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Well, surely if you're flicking through the channels and a
bit of foot is that classified?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
And she just I don't know, gre literally Deborah never
had oysters. Deborah Nicole never had coffee beer.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Get this eggs, coffee beer and eggs. Yeah, that's pretty
much my diet.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Very good. But I wanted to know, is there anything
that your kids have never, never had, never tried to killer?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Okay, there's one whiskey Macy has actually, and I'll tell
you why has never had full cream milk?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Interesting that I know of.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Interesting, And she is mine and most of her meals
and consumption happens around me.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
So why no full cream milk?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So when Oscar was a baby, you had a dairy intolerance.
So my wife and Oscar sort of just came adapted
to oat milk. That's right, And we never really we
never went back.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
I don't know about what about baby chinos, No, they're
oat milk. You get oat milk baby chinos. As far
as I know you are a wanker. It wasn't me.
It's not me.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I'm not getting oatmealk baby Chino.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
It's April. Yeah, I take that back. It's just beautiful
and perfect. Yeah, so as far as I know.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Look, honestly, some of those baby Chinos could have been
a full cream milk. But I haven't willingly given her.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Not not that I would not if she didn't, if
she asked, I'd give it to her. I'm not withholding.
I'm not gaykeey man, what's with you?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
And keep it all? You don't like full cream? I do?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I do, but not I don't drink a lot of
milk anyway, because I feel like makes.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You think, athy, what about you? What about your kids?
My kids have never tried going a full day without
fucking complaining? Oh God, gone a full night's sleep? Ever? No,
probably once or twice. Wow, I think No, Not to
(11:15):
make it sound like my kids have experienced all that
life has to offer. I don't know. I'm just nothing.
Springs to mind, my guy. We'll have a think about
it anyway, we come back next week.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You talk about it. But is that at the end
of housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I reckon that's the end of it is all.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Right, Well, how are you going? Thanks for coming over,
it's good to be here.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Good. Can I just say I do actually want to
say serious moment right now, man to man, friend of friend, congratulations,
thank you. It is a huge milestone moment, purchasing your
own property, and it's incredible.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
You know when I met you you were down and out.
Yeah you know I was. I was worried about you.
I'm not gonna lie and you look look at you
now you've done a full one eighty riving and it's
nice to be back in. Can I say the suburbs warryhood, worriorhood.
(12:10):
Can we reveal an information? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Yeah about stomping ground.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
It's nice.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I know everything seems to be tracking along nicely. I'm
just waiting for something to go wrong.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
This is I want to jinx it. But this is
it's such a great place. Yeah, I'm looking around. I've
been both bathrooms, ship in both bathrooms. I've done one
Wii in one poo.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, but you pooed in the on suite immediate as
soon as you're walking. So Matt walks in and goes,
this is lovely. Where's the toilet? There it is in
the master. I didn't even close the door, and then
you have the audacity to leave the fan on and
shut the door to cost me thousands.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
It's a fan. It's the exhaust fan. It's not the heater.
It's electricity, very stinky. Open a window, it was already open.
Oh my goodness. I turned the fan on to be considerate. Yeah, okay, right,
it's great. It's lovely.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I haven't even turned in the garage yet. That's the
best part.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I know, I haven't had the grand tour just yet.
But no, it's amazing, well done.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
If you were happy, the kids are happy. I'm happy.
There's a kids playground just there. There's all these bike
pass around the cafes back in the picture.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But we'll talk about.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
The move itself later on as we talk about what's
going on with you.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Look Ash. There's no easy way to say this, No,
he's a way to say this. I think it's important
at this point just to remind people who may be
listening right now that regardless of who the individual is, Okay,
no one is perfect. Sure we all make mistakes, do
we Okay, every one of us. You've made many? What
(13:48):
as I I you know, I'm constantly learning, because when
you make a mistake, it's important that you take something
out of that. I stand by all my mistakes. Oh yeah,
I've made a big mistake. Oh we're talking about you
all right, now here we go. Probably my biggest mistake
of the year, of the year, I reckon. Yeah, I'll
(14:10):
put it up there. It's all right, it's a good one.
Go on. So when we had Marley and Lola, my
first two children, for anyone wondering, we had them in
the public health system, which is great.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Yeah, in Australia, it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
The Royal Women's Hospital over around week, great hospital. Okay,
we loved it there. You know, we had a great experience.
But for each of those berths, we were out of
there as quickly as we could. Laura was like, we
good to go, let's wrap this up. I'm packing my bags,
I'm going home. She wants to go home. Actually, yeah,
she wanted to go home, like just super quick. We
(14:46):
had about one night, one night out of there.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, I was in there for like five nights.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
But April had se section two sections, yeah, which is understandable.
And then number three we look back and we go
we're going to do it differently. We're going to make
sure that Laura has a bit of time in there,
a few nights, just to rest up, enjoy some one
on one time with a newborn. I'm going to look
after the kids at home. Great dad, Yeah, great dad. Okay,
(15:13):
and we're going to do that private. Okay, yep, in
the private system.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Okay, yep.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Okay, why not? Okay, that's the plan, good plan.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, we did both private.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, thank you, thank you. There's a problem.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh okay, what is it? What have you done?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Okay? Hospitals are very expensive, they are you do not
make them cheaper?
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Insurance?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yes? Oh no? Two issues? Two issues here, Oh god.
Issue number one. My insurance bill was due December last year. Okay, okay,
we're now in September.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
It's not that far over.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
So my insurance has been canceled.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Oh fuck, yeah, but you're not pregnant.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
No. I like what you're doing here. The other issue
is admin falls into my job. I'm aware when we
got insurance, I had the option, oh god, to get bronze,
silver or gold. Okay, so I've managed to wheezel my
way to get the insurance renewed. The issue is I
(16:23):
opted for the Bronze. Okay, if you cut a leg off,
you cover it. Great, great, great, great ambulance trip you
cover it, no problem, fantastic, just excess right, dental work,
you cover it. Okay. But Bronze, you're not covered for pregnancies. Pregnancy,
stay our pregnancy, stay well all pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And I was like, that's okay, I'll just like to
add that in please. Now when is she expecting next week?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It turns out just a little bit of a lesson
for people who may not know this. If you want
to change your insurance, you gotta wait twelve months before
you can claim it.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Right, So in a minute, I still claim it, though, No,
oh you can't.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Laura would have to wait four months until.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Now she would have to get pregnant again.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah, I said, look, can you just hold a little longer?
How long have I got? Twelve months? It went is three?
You can give birth the one three eleven months and
twenty nine days.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Oh man, that's a grave mistake. A little bit, a
little bit, that's tough.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah. She wasn't happy about it, and I just I.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Was just gonna ask what Laura say, what were exact words.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I think she took it pretty well. I think she
took it pretty well. So now we're kind of trying
to figure out what to do right before the baby
comes out.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Can you quickly switch back over to the public system.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, anytime, anytime, So if you mean,
oh my god, because you know, if it's public, so
if you have a baby, I think it helps it.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
So if you just turned up in having contraptions.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yeah, they just I think the law was just there's
always a bed spare. Oh my god. Oh that's the spirit.
That was what There's always a bed free somewhere. There's
some chairs in the waiting room, the bloody cleaner's closets. Ah,
(18:18):
look this to this, this is just like a persa,
a bit of word of advice. We can't give advice,
just just like this is advice.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Check your insurance.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Check your insurance. If you're going to have a baby,
make sure you're covered for staying in hospital.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
I don't even know if I have insurance.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Because we love insurance in the show. Yeah right right,
so we do say it, we love insurance. Sorry, yeah,
we had a bit of an oversight.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
That's referring to us.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Don't mention anything I mentioned from old episodes. We still
get messages about it. I'll still wait for them to stop.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
So, Matt, we are in this house that you mentioned before.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
But how did we get here?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Houses a stretch?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
What does it all mean?
Speaker 1 (19:07):
It's a unit, houses a stretch, It's a townhouse. It
was a penthouse of the town It is a penthouse
of the townhouse.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I do call it, referred to it as the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
But how did we get here?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah? Tell me? So?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
As you know, I returned from Bali?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yeah, which trip?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Was this the one only leisure trip I've had this year?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Okay, thank you very much. Even I'm going to cruise
this week anyway, Ah, I returned from there to having
to go straight into the move. Okay, we already knew that.
We sort of pre packed and threw a lot of
stuff out.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
A quickly is do you need any help? Is there
anything you want me to do?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Too late for that? Thank you for offering, appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So we get back.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Prior to that, we were throwing things out, we talked
about Marketplace and how annoying that is also what I
think is very funny. April wanted to get rid of
a mirror. How do you take a photo of mirror?
And if you do a little Google and it's like
people taking pictures of mirrors.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
So it's so funny. And Averyone's like, what do I do?
And then she was like, every angle it's got something
I don't want. I'm just like, it's just it's just
a mirror, mirror. Well that thing is gone, do you
sell it? Give it away?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
And she just gave it away.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
But it's not like April. She gave what do you mean?
She gave away a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
But she was a bit overwhelmed because when as soon
as you put up free, it's.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Just like, dude, so brew, what am I saying? Oh,
you could put something on for five bucks, get no nibbles? Yeah,
for free, you get less harassed. I know.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Avery was like, I'm just stressed. I'm like you wanted to.
I was like, it's free. What's the difference if a
ghost to someone who goes in the bin? To me,
no difference.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I think it's just knowing that you're not being wasteful.
I don't care for that was the second line.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
I don't care for that sentence. I don't I honestly
do not care. Do not give a fucking rats ass
where the free shit ends up, as long as it's
not just dumped on the street, which is which which
we didn't do. We was free, or it was a
council cleanup, or a friend took it or threw it
(21:18):
in the fucking rubbish or whatever. But yeah, so we
got back straight into moving mode. The only problem is
Matt I seem to on the way home pick up
what they call a parasite.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Oh my god, did you though? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Oh, I never want to.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
You know how bad it is when you've got you's
still sick. No, no, I come.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I came good like Saturday.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
You know what it's like when you a bit.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
You know, when you're you got barley belly, gashtro whatever
those sort of things are. You're just so depleted because
you're weak.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Try and move in a house and it's like, I like,
it's like one of the most stressful experiences that anyone
can go through in their entire life.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Pick up a pillow and I'm like, ba, I need
to help, I need to muscle.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah, how did April? Because she's strong, she is, she's
very strong. That's a compliment.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Oh I know, And she is very strong at the moment.
It's crazy. She is training hard, training the house down.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I'm hoping that she comes back and I can be
like lift that couch.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Lift it over your head, squat on it now, just
like she's not.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Your circus animal. Did you do it solo? Did you
have a moval list?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
We had, so we for all the big stuff, which
which was a full day of them. So they put
it all up there, bring it down, bring it all
in here far Togo was a five minutes five minutes,
so it worked. It worked out. It's still expensive, but
worth every because I could not have done it, we
would still be up there.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I was so weak.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
I was like carrying or I was carrying like I
could carry a box. I'm not going to be specific.
What was in the box?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Please go ahead.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
It was empty. April had to carry a majority of it.
But I have been a workhorse since I've been like
fixing things, changing things.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Who made this table? I made?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I bang that together with a drill or screwdriver? No,
I just see classic allan key.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Wait until you get a drill.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
I'm worried. If I get a drill, I'll change.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Look at me. He's still as pathetic as always.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
So yeah, there's but the problem is with moves as well.
There's always a lot of rubbish. No matter how much
you prep and throw you out, there's always rubbish. And
I will say that I I was caught again.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
A while back.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I told you that I was putting rubbish in the
name of bin and they drove in the driveway as
I was doing it.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
What it was on the street.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, yeah, For a second, I thought, I mean, I'm
in the kitchen eating cereal.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Don't check the bins.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Yeah yeah, And I got caught and I was like, anyway, but.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
That's playing on. I got caught. But people are weird
with their bits. People are weird, dude. Yeah, by recycling cardboard,
like the anxiety I get trying to manage the recycling.
It's a full time job. And I put all the
bins on the street and I put recycling in their
bin as they were let the dog out for a week,
and I was face to face with them and it
(24:16):
was like I was selling drugs.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
And you're like, it was like you were eating out
of the ban in there. This was a bit different.
So I left it for it to be dark.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
You put like a battleclaver On.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, I left it to be dark, and I knew
my target. I knew the bin. I knew that that
one's going to be half for because yeah, elderly, yeah,
and I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
See him very much. He's lonely.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah, And I'm like, that's my next target. I can't
go back up to the other one because they'll see
me and they'll be like.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
How late did you leave it? I just thought it
was dark enough. It was dark. Got to wait till
nine o'clock. Oh no, that's when you're.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Clean up, gummied out, and I'm melting into the cow.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I did my best work. After nine o'clock, I'm roaming
the streets.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, I'm giggling mass the street. Anyway, So I went
out there, I opened the bin, okay, and I went
I put went to put the rubbish in, and I
looked to my rat and there was three people around
a car anyway.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
They looked at me. Gotcha.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
They had a torch and a car hang on, sorry
anyway there, and I've dumped it and put it down
and looked at them, and they looked at me. And
I've realized they must have locked their keys in their car.
But they looked like they were committing a crime. So
I went and they went back to what they were doing,
(25:46):
and we just went out separate ways. And I was like, whoa,
what I was doing was not illegal, same.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
For you, because you obviously it was obvious that.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I was just looking so sass here I am, he
can rubbish into a bin and they look like they're
trying to steal a car on the same street.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
If someone had drove down the street, they would have
been like, oh god, the crime.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Anyway, So I went on my way and I left
it at that, and I thought, this new place ruin
is the complex. So someone else takes the bins out,
which is what's that like?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
You haven't experience? You had one day one last week.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I got home from a busy day, got home, pulled
up out the front. The bins are out the front,
looking nice, not out of.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Place at all.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
You could set your watch by how straight it was.
And then I was like, I'm just going to have
a look at the man's work or woman's work, whoever
does I don't know, And it's like all the bins
are like perfectly leveled nice.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
I was like, this is liven, this is great question
is there a pool in this complex? No? Sorry, sorry
not to.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
No, which gladly not because it just wheaked your strata
up there he is, because you've got to maintain the
funt there he is.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Wow, I can't wait, Ash caun't wake. I think when
we started working together, you were like, I'm never going
to buy a house. That's idiots.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
I was forced into this by by my beautiful, loving wife.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I mean, wow, what you have to go through the pain,
the agony.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
But I'm glad we're here now, I'm glad we're here.
I'm not and it worked it out.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Excuse me? Enough money? This is pocket change.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I do everything for free. What do you mean you're
getting paid for this? What I do like is Oscar
we worked out. Oscar has moved seven times and he's six.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
My sister's similar in that they flipped houses pretty frequently,
so every year they moved house, and their kids were like, hey, mom,
we spoke to the other kids at school and none
of them are moved house. That's because they're so It's
just the norm for him.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
Yeah, and Oscar, remember we moved into that last place,
which was always going to be temporary because it was
a friend's player. It just happened. The timing just worked
out nicely. I remember like a week or two in
Oscar's like so when we moved to our next house
and I was like, oh fuck, and then April was
like it can't be good for him and the anxiety
around all of it.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
What does he think? What does Macey think? More importantly, Macy,
she loves.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
It so far, so I guess like, well done. It's
not now do you know what they really like? And
that's the thing is with their bedroom now, because it's
not a rental. I'm like, you could do whatever you
want in here, drawing the walls, whatever you want to
the court. Don't do either of those things. I just
meant like, if you go in there, then she's got
the wall. She's got a bluey poster. Cherry Evans is
(28:38):
on the wall for Oscar. There's a manly flag, there's
a Pokemon.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
It's weird. It's weird looking at you right now. There's
a homeowner. You're such an adult.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
I know, when did I become a fucking story?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I know it's like I'm going next week you'll have
a bloody jump around your neck talking about buying a yacht.
I just got off my yacht. You were morphing.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I'm not one of my going into upper class norsere.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yes? Yeah, ah yes? Should we go into pair rounds?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Should okay start for this?
Speaker 2 (29:12):
I want to be free, as you say, what man,
I feel like a parent anyone who doesn't know what
parents are. It is just an opportunity for parents to
get whatever frustrations they're experiencing for the week off their chest,
(29:35):
to feel some comfort, some solace, solace. What do you
say solace?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I am not solace.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Type in s O L.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I see comfort or consolation in time of distress or sad.
Well said, thank you?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Actually, now okay, my brain does work. I mean to
go first, Yeah, please go with Ella.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Okay, Ella, thank you for writing in why do kids
do this? Exclamation mark? Big question mark? Kids are outside playing?
Their dad is out there too. I go inside to
the tot. In literally point zero five seconds, the oldest
comes inside yelling out to me. They want their bike
helmet taken off, like didn't you pass your dad on
the way inside? Also go back outside the bike helmet
(30:18):
is back on. Why I know?
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I mean it's normally me No one talk ill of
Laura M. It's only me. I know.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
I get bypassed a bit from my kids, So they
go straight to Mum or they do that thing where
they ask you and don't get the answer they wanted
and then they go to the next person.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
The amount of times I'm so bloody careful with the helmet,
but the amount of times I've tried to clip it on,
Lola and you get the skin? Can I get? You know?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
What I'm not liking, just really quickly off the back
of that is whenever I put some food in my mouth,
a kid goes, what was that? None of your fucking business.
It's my food.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
That was not my porridge in the morning, or like
they just have this.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
They just can smell dairy milk from three suburbs over
and I'll be like, I'll chuck, oh, sneak a bit
of chocolate in my mouth. And Oscar from fucking down
the road.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Comes home from school, he'd be like, what's that Like,
it's fucking one o'clock on a Friday. Who he smells
like dairy milk? Ash This one is from Sarah Jane,
A little high and a little heifey. Someone please help
me deal with my five year old daughter's sass. She
constantly gets cleaning up awards at school, but I cannot
even bribe her to do it at home. And she
makes such a mess with her toys. I just told her,
(31:31):
if she doesn't clean up her mess, I'll get the
garbage bag and throw away all her toys. She said, hey, Mom,
let me get that bag for you. Oh my god,
I'm not looking forward to the teen years.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Oh my goodness. Do you know what she's doing at school? Well,
with that sass, she's outsourcing and taking all the glory.
So I reckon she's gone everyone out, all of her friends,
She's manipulated them to do all the cleaning up. And
then the teacher's like, oh, who do you all these
clean up?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Which is like, it's me, It was all me, all mine.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I've really I've really narrowed the character.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Yeah, your child is a psychopath.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
I know the fact that she's gone, oh help, It's
like it's like if Matt jumped off the bridge, would
you jump off the bridge too? And it's like, oh yeah,
I'd push her, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
It's also someone once said to me, you shouldn't make
threats that you can't follow through. And at the moment.
Marley's similar, She's really pushing the boundaries and I'm like,
if you talk to me one more time like that,
we're going home. And she's like, fucking sweet, no, we're not.
Let's go bluffer yeah, and I'm like, I want to
go home. Macy's the same.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Macy's starting to become the sas queen where she'll just
sash you back instead of doing what I've asked.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
What is Macey going to be here? I get to
see her? Maybe?
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Maybe should We just finished today's episode with some questions.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, ash. This one is from Dannyelle. Hi, Dannielle. She
asks what age did your child stop needing to wear
pull ups at night? Did you try anything that helped?
Oldest child needed to use a bed wedding alarm and
succeeded in using it for the recommended two weeks? The
youngest is only five and a half years old, but
we hope to help move things forward this summer.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Okay, so they want to get out of nappies correctletely. Yeah,
from what I remember, and Macy still will wear him
at night. How old is Macy She's going to be
four yep, but she's she's.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
In the cusp of going without.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
She's about to go the night, but all days will
go without. And she has done for ages, but she
hasn't quite nailed the nighttime. What to do at night?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, I mean it's such potlark. You need to get
a child ash that I think finds it really easy
and they do it themselves. It was like Oscar.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Oscar was really like and I think with boys because
they can just whip it out in a piece of
a bush somewhere that they're like, he just all of
a sudden, like just took to it.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
So what did you do with Oscar to go, Okay,
you're ready to stop wearing pull ups at night?
Speaker 1 (34:01):
I think I recall that he didn't want to wear
them anymore, and we were like, all right, well, if
you don't want to wear them all anymore, you've got
to go to the toilet before you go to sleep. Firstly,
you're such a good dad, thank you. And then if
you need to, we there's a nightlight in there so
you can get up and go. Don't just piss in
your bed, And that's great advice.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
And the same with Macy, she's sort of like the
first step she just I just walked in and she
was taking a shit and she was holding a book,
and I'm like, well, my job is done here.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
But she's getting She's a bit.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Harder at night, I think because I think being the
second child, we can see her, always see her. He's like,
oh little girl, you know, instead of like with Oscar
it was like felt like he was growing up earlier
and quicker. But it's more just because he's bigger and
she's the little, the little one of the family.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
But it's tricky.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I guess. I also don't want to have to be
changing sheets, but we committed to this summer being the
end of nappies. Apparently not my call.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
It is nice.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
It is nice to get because it's it's just for
wheeze in bed. But every now and then she'll take
a ship and then I've got to change it. I'm like,
I don't miss this.
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Like I walk past the room and it's like she's
just mouth opens, big guy.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Anyway, that's my I don't know when you do it
three or four, you.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
Got to what I think if you there's not advice,
but if you are a full week with dry nappies,
oh yeah, and then you can just float the idea.
Hey kid, here's an idea. What do you think about
not wearing nappers a nighttime?
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I think kids love the love progression as much as
we love progression. Yeah, because if you're like, well that's awesome,
they're like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm doing well, I'm
doing well. What about that lady who was trying to
who was bloody training a five week old baby? Who
was but I sent to you.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I don't watch. I'm sorry, Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
The comments are the funny.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Five weeks old? Yeah, five weeks She is currently five
weeks old. She's not even an American domination.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Communication, and she hasn't done a poo in her NEPI
in the last week.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Pretty much, I am listening.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
To her cues. Check the comments the best to go,
so pretty much she goes in the morning between seven
and nine and then in the afternoon between.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Two and four.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It'd be so funny that could just let one read
right there, read the comments. This week, she's starting to
hold them herself, so she's learning to hold until we're
on the toilet, and then she'll let go once we're there.
Check the comments is the best?
Speaker 2 (36:48):
That is not real? That is not real?
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Read the comments.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
Okay, here are the comments. My five weeks old is
already starting to drive. She's going to go to license soon.
There was one that was my nineteen year old cleaner
room today. That's not real. It's not real. That's rage
baiting at its finest.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
My newborn drove me home from the hospital after being born. Wow, anyway,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Be like that. I mean, is it possible?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Apparently there's there's a subculture that that was the case
in early early generations where they would they then yeah,
like there's a word for I can't remember. Sorry, I'm
not that smart. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
My question, how's as being like, oh, yeah, she's four
and still wear and pull up nappies. Are they looking
at us and being like you guys are pathetic.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
And like what like that baby doesn't know what it's doing. Nah,
you're what they call And the technical term is called delulu.
She's delusional and that's the technical.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Maybe I'm going to potty train our five we got.
Laura is going to let me do it.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Now, don't you dare be coming out of there? Shit,
don't you dare come into this world and ship into Nabby,
gon't even think about it?
Speaker 1 (38:14):
Yeah, all right, I've got one more question before we
let the folks of the two Doting Dad's universe go
back to their daily lives. From Anna, what age did
you transition lot to transitions? What age did you transition
your kids to a big bed? What did your nighttime
routine look like to put them to sleep? Look, we
(38:37):
approached it with big bed being like a big moment, right,
So how old was three? Both kids three?
Speaker 2 (38:45):
I don't even remember. It was the third we do it? Third,
we did it third.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I say, like, we do it like we I'm going
to do it again, but I've had it a second me.
I can't do it again. April can do it again,
she wants.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
At three.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
It was kind of like fifth third birthday along with things,
it's not their only present. I'm like cruel, Like with
third birthday you get a big bed, and it was
like and we made it so it was to the
so that they were excited about it. So because it's
a big milester, it is it is, but I also
wanted them to be excited so they didn't get out
of it. If I'm like, I've got to get you
(39:17):
out of that cod if they love it so much oh,
I can put you into big bed. There's no excitement.
So they're just like, I'll just fucking get out of
this thing. But like they don't get me wrong, they
still get out of it and get into my bed
every now and then.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
But like it was like you've got a big bed.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
They come home from school or daycare on their birthday,
they'll have a brand new bed with a new Princess
Dooner cover on it, and all of a sudden make
he's like, I'm never getting out of this thing.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
And I'm like, good, you can make anything a big
deal for the kids. Oh, and they'll believe it. Oh
if you were like you're so lucky you're getting broccoli
for dinner and they're like, really, I am pretty lucky.
Yeah you're right.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's why we have that segment lies
so you can add them to you at those little
lines because they are stupid.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I don't even remember, dude, I can't. For me, someone
had to go with me on the Sassy Scott video
because they were like, all newborns need to eat every
three hours, and I was like do they like I
can't remember.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I can't remember details, like what's going on in your
life that you've got to stop and correct someone to say, hey, Matt.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You're an idiot. Yeah. I was like sorry, I was sorry,
let him know what dated?
Speaker 1 (40:28):
But what if it's what if they're like, what if
that person probably doesn't have any kids.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
I was just like, well, I'm assuming that that would
be to every three hours, but our nighttime routine. And
I'm pretty sure this is universal, right, I feel like
everyone's on the same routine. Okay, tell me you don't assume.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Well, lots of different types of parents out there.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Okay, So we smack our children in the head, yes, yeah,
and that puts them a sleep pretty well? What we
do to put into bed? Okay, get this, write this down?
Are you ready for it?
Speaker 1 (40:56):
I don't have a pan up here?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Five we're having dinner. Yeah, that's okay, don't don't respond, Okay,
just listen. Okay, listen, absolvebly be a sponge. Just shut
up and get on with it. Okay. We're in the
bath time around about six thirty yep, okay, fifteen minutes
in the bar. We're then upstairs we're getting changed for bed.
(41:23):
Seven o'clock. Roughly read a story sometimes one maybe two, right,
and then that is it?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
What are you reading?
Speaker 2 (41:32):
Day? I think it was absolutely you know what, nothing
and that's it. And they're in that's it.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
And they do they because they share a room like
my kids. Yeah, they interact after you leave the room much.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Marley's pretty chatty and Lola's always like, shut up, we're
going to fucking bed.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because like mine.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Lola's tired. Dude, She's like she wants to go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
She knows herself. She's like, I know me when I
go to sleep now, cranky as fuck tomorrow and I
have to take it out of my dad.
Speaker 2 (41:56):
Well, I was getting horizontal, just out. Yeah. And the
occasionally occasionally they will be like I want some more water.
But like a the marment, we're pretty good.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
We've moved on from the baths to the showers. Your
face was like, do you not wash you kids? It?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Because I fucking washed my kids. Sorry, but we've moved on.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
To showers because they're quicker. And I saw I had
another video that was going to show another.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
Lady who talked about no toys in the bath. Smart yeah,
because we always when they drop the bucket of toys
in the bath, I'm like, for fux.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
I'm going to be here all week. The quarter's cold,
and they're like, oh what you know the toys outside
of the bath too, But it's I don't like when
they're really little and you're like washing them down and
there's some toys to keep them engaged fine with. But
then I didn't even think about not having them in there.
So now in the shower, they get in, they wash,
they brush their teeth, they're out, they shower, we're doing books.
(42:51):
And I also I can argue the point too where
it's like, because we're not bathing for fifteen twenty minutes anymore,
you get an extra book. Like we get an extra
book time we can lay together. I don't like reading books.
Have a gummy and read the book. It's so funny.
I don't condone that, but I have a prescription so
(43:13):
I can. But yeah, that's us. That's just us for
another week, perfect beautiful. Anyway, that's bathroom Team. So if
you've got any questions.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
You don't answer her question, do we ever answer anyone's question?
I think it was a serious question from Anna, and
I did write to her. I said, don't worry. I
know we're going to cover this in the next episode.
I just think it's nice that we talked about it. Yeah, Anna,
I hope you're happy.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
She's well too bad anyway, if you've enjoyed this episode, please.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Send it to someone anyway, send her to Anna and
leave a review.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Yes, little and yeah, go on Little something something and
you can catch us on social media.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
We're at two doting dads on Instagram, on TikTok on
their Facebook as well and YouTube. Now we have YouTube
full episodes. I'd love to know. I'd love to know. Yeah,
here's a question message us and tell us when you
watch YouTube. Do you have it on in the background
as you're like doing some cleaning or do you sit
down and you just watch it?
Speaker 1 (44:16):
I reckon, Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
There we go, There we go. That's good. Let's do
what they come back with and you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
What would you do?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Okay, this is gonna say, this is going to self indulgent.
But I didn't watch back, Jess, I lovely producer edited
it and I was watching it back and I just
watched us. I watched myself.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
Fuck, have do you have pants on?
Speaker 2 (44:40):
Let's get out of here.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
You're right at the top, you're pinned Okay, am I
pinned on your phone?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
I've what's pinned?
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Good one, I've done it. What's you can pin your
favorite people to the top of a chat?
Speaker 2 (45:00):
Didn't know that?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Just like in the phone book, you're in my favorites.
You're number two.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Thank you who number one? April? I'll get there. Lingerie two.
Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
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