March 31, 2026 • 53 mins
The boys let loose this week with a few fun facts about farts and let's just say their wives won't be happy about them.
Plus Ash is dealing with a bad habit that Oscar has picked up from school.
While Matty's been belting out a tune with very questionable lyrics to keep baby Poppy happy.
And the boys discuss how much we should be spending on birthday presents that got the whole podcast team up in arms!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I want to start this episode off with a really
(00:01):
really really sad and upsetting story. So I don't know
if you want to start the app because you know
how you injured me all the time.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Because you're always like, I've got a really quick story,
and then you're like chapter seventeen.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
This is quick, but it might have a side quest
good way through?
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Okay, do you say.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome back to two doting dads.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I am Maddie J And I'm Ash.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
the good, it is the bad and the relatable, and
no advice will ever be given.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Yes, hit me as you know, not drinking. I filled
that void with food, a lot of Uber eats. Yeah,
you're the best customer.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Would you ever look at how much you spend per
year on the app? It's dangerous, right, Look this year
is so it'd be like the casino going. Do you
want to see how much money you've put into the slot?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Look at didn't see the dollar amount, but I've seen
the amount of orders.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Do you want to just know that really quick?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
When I looked at it was sixty eight this year.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
That's that's pathetic amateur numbers.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
What do you mean, that's it. How many days has
there been this year?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
How many weeks? What do we march?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
So three months?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Run up three times for it is twelve twelve weeks.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
That's like every there's twenty days of the year that
so far that I haven't had over each with dinner.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
What's Math's number? What's yours? So even that's not story.
So the story is that told you there'd be a
side quest A long way. I was recently in Melbourne
and I.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Ordered Uber Eats for dessert because in the mini bar
at this hotel that I was put up in, no chocolate,
nothing good, Like, if there's not a dairy milk in
a fridge in a hotel, throw the fuck?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
What's the point of having in the fridge?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I think you shouldn't underestimate how good just a plain
old dairy milk.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Is, especially when there's no kid going give moves on,
You're on your own, nice piece and quiet, a nice
piece of they just had like two. Just what's the
point to have in the fridge, you ask me? So
I ordered would you get? I ordered it from like
a Col's Express where I can't remember it was, I
want an ice cream?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I was like, what's the my mask. So I looked
and they had on sale. They had like the ban
and Jerry, which they're little tubs. It's not enough for
big Daddy over here.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And I was like, okay, I need more than that.
And then I saw they had the on special like
a blue ribbon or something like that that was just
a leader, and I was like the leader. But I
was like, I'm here for three nights and I could
put it right in the back of the freezer bit
of the of the frieze.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
There was a freeze, but that was my next question. Yeah,
well I thought you would have to like burn through
this in one sitting.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I wish, but like it was not like a proper freezer,
you know.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Just are youtubing gumry?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Three three years swallowed it?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Ah, that's my commitment to you.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's a myth that's never coming out.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If that's true, I'm just foolish.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I'm just I'm you know, they say you're like ninety
percent water. The other ten percent of me is chewing
gum extra. It's just extra, not a sponsor, not sponsor sponsor.
And I was like, okay, put it in the free
but it's not a full freezer, as you know. But
I thought I'll keep it at a nice temperature that
will still be edible. And it came and unfortunately it
was already melted, so I had not I couldn't do anything.
It was And have you ever had you know, an
(03:07):
ice creams like a nice melted and you're like that
like the bottom of a bowl, and it's like yeah, No,
it was like sludgy vanilla sludge.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Did you complain?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
No? I just had to tip it out and move
on with what I told you. It was going to
be a tragic story. Wow, I was so so sad.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Did you have both were gone?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Did you get sorry? Can I just confirm? Was it
the white ribbon, white ribbon? Or was it the Ben
and Jerry's.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
No.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I only got the white ribbon because I thought I'm
going to be for a couple of days. I can
just ration it.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And you didn't get the Ben and Jerry's.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I didn't get it because I thought I'll get the
bigger one. Savvy was on sale and it turned up
and it was fully melted already, so I couldn't salvage it.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
So I got no ice cream? Is it a sad story?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Very sad.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
That's the life I live right now.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. You've
been having onto that story as well for a long time.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
I just remember, but so what did you just go
to bed? I went to bed sad. I'm still sad.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
He jerked off, didn't Yeah, I poured it down the
sink and I thought you didn't drink it.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, it was just it was past nice, melted.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
How does it get because they take it out of
the freezer, something's.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Happened, someone's put it on the shelf for where they
got it from. I reckon. They're like, just get him
on from the shell. Oh, it's just told you. If
I was you, I want you to love complaining on it. No.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I think it's like if you order a coffee and
it's half spilt, you are deserving it.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
It's there.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Who the thing is that melted ice crew, but you
deserve a summer.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I don't know, okay, I was out numbered.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
By who the people.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
On me?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Thy will? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I didn't know who to complain to the hotel and
they're like, that's the guy.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Also, I didn't ice cream guy. I didn't know who
would be at fault. I don't want to accuse the
wrong person. That's just mean. You mean, yeah, I don't
know what. He might have been really quick, but the
guy at the shot was slow. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Look, not to make this a very sad episode, but
I have some sadness. Oh God, Yes, so Ronda. For
people who are joining us, she is my neighbor, the general,
the General. She at times was a little bit tricky
to live next to. I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
I'm not going to pretend like it was, you know,
one big happy relationship, rainbows and butterflies. We had our moments. Yes,
(05:29):
there were happier times, but for the most.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Part, ripped the band aid off, Matthew.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
She's passed away. Happened last week on Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I'm going to miss her staring at me, entering your ass.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It is so strange right now. Every time I put
something in the bin, she had her front window and
she would always be standing there and I'd glance up
and she'd just be there. She's just looking at me.
And I now, like last night, I put something in
the bin, I look up and I just expect to
see her standing there.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
But when I see you again, Well a.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Moment for Ronda there. It is. So shout out to
my neighbor who messaged me and was like, hey, I
think we should check on Ronda. Her blind is normally up,
always at the beginning of the day, and it's been
down for a couple of days now. And also I
put her bins out. I'm not a hero, not a hero,
but I will say that. But it bins out every Monday,
(06:24):
and a couple of times I've forgotten, got to three
o'clock in the afternoon, just got a bad hip, but
she would go, oh, Matt's not going to do it.
I will do it. And then I got home on
that Monday at six o'clock and a bin wasn't out,
and I thought, oh, that's a bit weird. Ronda would
have put it out by now, but I was jumping
into a record of another podcast. Sorry, and I said,
I think you should do the welfared check. Finish the record,
(06:46):
turn my phone on. Was the message. She's passed away.
Oh it's very sad. No family, no friends, no one.
The police will like if she had me, but I
wasn't there. So they go to my neighbor. You've got
to come and identify the body is there with her
kids going I don't know if I'm in a position
to do that, and they were like, will you got to?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And she was like, that's not not What do you
mean I gotta I have right?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Well, I was like, surely she would have had the gliss,
I know something. We don't have to just drag in
the neighbor to look at the dead body, which is
quite traumatic.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, but she was like, okay, let me just put
something on the TV for the kids. Went next door
and I was like, that's Rhonda and the cop was like,
this is my first dad body. And she was like
what the fuck?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
They all lost their virginity all in one foul swoop.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And then I came home and I was like, sorry
about that. I just dodged it all. Nana was like
I would have done it.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Nana's ruthless.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
She's like smart, Is.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
It still cold? We shouldn't laugh? How was the Are
you allowed to tell you what? How she died? And
what the good thing is?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
She didn't fall. It wasn't as if she had taken
a tumble and she couldn't, you know, reach the phone
and get help. Apparently, when you were about to pass.
I don't know if they just say this to make
it seem less traumatic, but when you're about to pass,
your body instinctively wants to go to the bathroom. So
she in the middle of the night got up on
the toilet and then was and went on the toilet,
so she was still sitting up in a ninety So
(08:23):
it was it was like a pleasant way to go,
Like there was just dead on the toy she was
sitting on the toilet. She was still there leaning against
the wall. Yeah, so it wasn't wasn't a traumatic way
to go. And she did say I remember she said
to Laura, I was born in this house. I would
like to pass in this house. So she got a wish. Wow,
I got a wish. And now we're trying to so
we're trying to hunt down apparently this cousin. Trying to
(08:44):
hunt down the cousin. No one knows who this cousin
is because she was very much personal, kept to herself.
And I had a neighbor up the road who's a
lot older, and I thought she might know who the
cousin is. Excuse me, just really quickly, do you know
Ronda's cousin? And She's like, what's happened to Ronda? And
as I was about to say, Marley and Lola come
down and I was there going like, you know, like
wink wink wing, She's fine, and she goes, something's happened
(09:07):
to Ronda, hasn't it? And I was like what? Oh God?
And then Marley and Laula were like, what's happened to Ronda?
And in the moment I didn't want to say, well,
she's passed.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I said, she's down on the toilet.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
There he is Ashwick singing suddle as a sledgehammer. I
said she's moved house. And Marley was like.
Speaker 7 (09:25):
Oh my god, she's moved past if you shouldn't tell us,
And I was like what the fuck. I was like, Marley,
haven't seen her for like a year, and she was like, I.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Can't believe she's always.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Look kind yell at Mary last Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I was like, she threw a shoot at you, Molly
Cooper climbing the tree.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, she's silly. That's how her relationship that Rascal.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And then for a few days I kept the lie
of she moved house going until this morning I said, hey, kids,
she's up in heaven and Marley was like, oh, I was.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Much other of that than her move.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
I was like, no one if I can't enjoy no one? Wow.
Let me ask you this though, before you do go,
you instinctively your body wants to evacuate.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
This is what the coroner said.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Okay, they are educated to be coron or something. You can't.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I think you do have to do some level of
study to be a coroner.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah. Is it the people that couldn't quite work on
a live bodies?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Okay? I don't know how many coroners listened to this
episode this podcast, but.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Were they real?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Let me ask you this, would you much rather evacuate
you burs than die or die and then evacuate? If
I would, honestly, I feel like I would be embarrassed.
I would want to go to the toilet before I died.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I well, you talked about Macy having a pooh that
was in the toilet for three days. I don't you know.
I would hope that I don't go because I don't
want people to go like, oh, there's Matt stinks.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I don't want to be like like, hey, babe walking,
I'm on the sim rig and ship myself and died.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, that's way worse. I think that'll give it the ck.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I think she's like, oh, she's.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Like, oh, I couple of my married this man.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's just what happens. Kids.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
That's not your real father.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
So Toronda, this episode is dedicated Toronto.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Oh wow, the whole app.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
The whole app.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Yeah, that's fair. Death goals for a whole app. You
were spotted in the wild recently.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You did attend to You attended the soccer game and
then someone said to me, they just sent me a
message with no context and it said, hey, are you
at the Matildas too?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I was like fuck, And then I remember that you
were there. I was like, no, no, I'm at home.
And then I just get a photo. I was like, oh,
there's a photo. So someone sent me a photo of
you been papped. You've really reduced your comedy, your comedy
down to just photo bombing people, like let's get a
(12:04):
nice selfie. That's not on my Because it was like.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Right after the national anthem and there's a couple in
front of me at the football I was like admiring,
you know, like the presentation of the teams and the trophy,
and you look disappointed and then and then next second
I realized that the couple in front of me are
taking a selfie and I perfectly fit into the gap
between them. I'm sitting behind them. And then the next
(12:31):
photo I realize and I leap out of the way.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
I want to see the next one. I just got
that one. What about the fulls that? Just getting that
from a random light? That's good year. I got that
like seven am in the morning.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Shout out.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah that was great.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Shout out to the Mailla housekeeping are in housekeeping. Do
you celebrate your school on the Northern Beaches Harmony Day?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, there's like where you wear a tounch of orange.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's a very simple rule.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
What do you got well?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Harm Day for us was the least harmonious day for
the parents. We were freaking the fuck out, said. We
had multiple people panicking in the group chat for the
parents being like what day is it? Like Friday? People
like I'm just gonna send my child with orange in
the backpack just in case, And people were like it's Monday.
Monday is Harmony Day?
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Thursday?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Why was your Thursday?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I don't know. I feel like it's all made up.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yours just Wednesday?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Okay, we need an investigation.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
We need to get a line on this, because parents
were like on a Sunday book, we all over again,
and they were like, what colors do we wear? And
people were like orange. And then someone's like, you can
also wear yellow. People were like, it's purple included No, Bethany,
it's not it's orange or yellow.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
There is nothing harmonious about burple. Get her out of
the group gent immediately.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Why are we being so stringent with the rules and
what colors to wear a harmony day? Why don't we
just say any color?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
People just need to relax.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
And then a kid was wearing black and he was
being escorted out.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
In his funeral. He's like, I'm going to run this
funeral after this.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Oh god, it was the fucking There must have been
fifty messages in the group chat about what colors are
you allowed to wear and not allowed to wear? Harmony?
Speaker 3 (14:12):
It's just orange.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But then we didn't have any Tell me find me
a parent that has orange in the fucking wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Macy has a cheap blue or pink. Well that's the thing, right,
that's the thing. There's no effort in blue or pink.
There's effort in orange.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Why are we making parents going to more effort.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Why are we making like show that we care about
the harmony of this world?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Matthew, we care by giving fucking money. That's the caring.
You get your money, that's for the charity. Don't fucking
make us jump through hood.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
You gave him money.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
We had to give a gold coin.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Okay, lovely, thank you. It's a nice you know how
much we give? What color? Can the coin be? Ten dollars? Told?
What about two silvers? Two silvers making gold?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I don't know. We're all intelligent people, but the most
simple little tasks in days just a chain reaction and
panic amongst the parents.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Oh yeah, it's like book week is a book day?
Book week, book month?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What is it? And then someone was like last minute,
they were like, don't forget the assembly which is today.
They're singing the harmony song and I was like, well
what And I was like, Marley, have you been learning
a song? And she's like yeah, And I'm like, I
don't know if you're lying or not. She's always singing something.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, yeah, I just opt out of the group chat.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Well, Laura's going to school at two thirty for this
assembly today. I'm like it's not in the newsletter, and
I didn't want a message in the group chat and
be like is there an assembly? But Laura is like,
all right, I'm going to the assembly at two thirty.
It's just a whim because Marley said she's learned a
song for assembly.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
I want an update on this. Sh'd just be Marley singing.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
But you have assembly on Harmony Day on the Monday.
Why are we splitting it?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I don't know. There's a board out in the front
of our school that has like, what's happening? It's been
on there.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Would you call it a noticeboard?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Is that a thing? It's a light up.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It's got lights. Oh, spin eyes.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
There's a casino in the school. But it said Harmony.
It said Harmony Day for weeks. I think they're just
milking it, like we just put this on the board
and people give us money. Let's do this every day.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah. Also, the fucking poor kids, poor kids who rock up.
There's one parent as I was getting off the bike
to get the girls into school, and the parent looked
at me shocked, and then I looked down and her
daughter is wearing a schools uniform and her daughter's like
in panic. As well in panic mode, and Marley and
Laua are like, what's wrong? Why are you we in
(16:32):
the uniform? And then the parent was like, oh, it's okay.
I'm sure there's heaps of clothes in there that you'll
be able to find and put on.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
And I was like, ha ha, I know, Muffy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
So Oscar had a Mufty day, right, which, if you
don't know what a Mufty day is, we whatever you
want with a gold con coin donation for charity, and
it was Oscar's first one. And I was like, Hey,
I'm going to put a school uniform in your bag
in case you want it.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
And he was like, you're not allowed, and I was like,
what do you mean. I was like, you know, I
don't like when people tell me what to do, So
I'm going to put two uniforms in your bag. Now.
He's like, oh fuck, you're not allowed. It's Mufty. But
I was like, just in case, just in case, don't
do it. You get me in trouble, you okay whatever?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Who was speaking to Oscar?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I don't know, man, I don't know where he's probably
from that light up board. You will die, he will
die if you bring uniform man.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Sin I put it in there because I put it
in there. In there, I put it in there because
I don't trust him.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
I'm like, like, what, I don't know what to believe
in you boy, faith in your child.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Cut's hard. He's like a liar. I'll get to that shortly.
But and he want him to get there, and just
by chance his mates are in school uniform or whatever,
and then he feels left out that he's got a
school shirt.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Very considerate approach from you.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I was being considerate and I got met with that's
a crime. You're going to jail for this.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Idiots anyway, idiots can I just quickly wish my wife?
What's not yet her birthday? No, will be sorry jesus,
what's the.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Date of Oh?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I do know it's March twenty six.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
There he is there, he is, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Laura has turned forty. She's the big four zero. Very
hard to buy for my wife.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Six Wow?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Fuck you know she did. People are calling me in
a panic, like friends fell.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
She looks great.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Sorry, sorry, she thank you? She does look great.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Carry on.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Also, hope she doesn't mind me saying this. She's like,
I can finally treat myself some botox. So she's is
that not all advocates she's never had no, no, she's
had oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah, oh yeah. She's got a home kit.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I think because she's been breastfeeding. You breastfeeding, she's no
longer breastfeeding.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
She get injected to a boobs.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
What you can't put chemicals into your body when you're breastfeeding.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Ah, come on now, come on now, that's that's marketing.
Moving on, go, come on. So I'm a conspiracy theorist.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Now Laura does look great. I will say that you
don't need it, but people don't want to buy it
for Laura. She has a very particular taste and also
out of nowhere. She's like, I got myself an Aora
ring and I was like, well, firstly, those things are
fucking there or fake.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Well waited to delete your aura straight away.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Bro, But I was like, I could have bought that
for you for your present, and she's like, oh, I
just bought it, And I was like, your birthday is
in a fucking week. I do that all the time,
Like you're pointing and now your birthday is seconds away
and you want something fucking tell your friends and tell
me what you want. I'll buy it for you.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I'm a shocker for that.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
April is always like I can never buy you anything
because you've already bought it.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah. I'm also like we're adults, Like what adult is like? Oh,
I can't wait to get my toy car, like we
want something. We just sorry it was not a dig
at you.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Wow fuck you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Now.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I feel a bit better just saying fuck you. Go yeah,
but by the toy car.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Laura, And then I feel like people are gonna be like,
what are you getting, Laura, I've got I've got a
day plan. Oh do tell just like we'll go to
the gym and then we'll oh god.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Terrible Laura from out of you.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
That's what she wants. She never has time to go
to the gym. We never have time to go together.
And then we go like go for some of icebergs.
They have a nice lunch.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
That's lovely.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Thank you, thank you. That's that's what we have planned
on the thursd.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I think that's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I did accidentally booking work on that Thursday that I've
had to like, I've also got a haircut book to
which I need to cancel.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Is it your birthday or seriously, just treating yourself to
work in a haircut. You love that stuff. It's happy birthday, Laura, Yes,
happy birthday Laura.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Will we ever get out of a housekeeping in this episode?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Let's get out wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait we've had this sitting there. Let's do different.
Docus Okay, can I just really quickly from Anna? She says, Hey,
guys love the podcast and have been listening from the start.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Thank you. Anna.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Ash's recent talk about dinosaurs reminded me of when my
son was only a few years old and had trouble
saying one of the species names incorrectly. Take a listen
to this.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
What's it called dick less dizleuszzle dickless dinosaur.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I love that they're extinct.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Stickleszle dips her face.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
She's like, what what it's It's a dickless dinosaur.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
That's good gear.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
That's one of those things that when she does finally
say it correctly, you'll.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Be like, oh, yeah, you'll miss it.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
You'll miss it.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
With her l's, she's like, I'm just gonna have a
sweep sleep.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
When she starts pouncing ls, you're like, it's all over.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I know WeGo like lego. Oh god, I'm going to
miss that anyway, but that's good.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Look, honestly, dinosaurs are hard to pronounce, you know when
they do concussion tests and like where are you?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
They should just.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Go pronounce this dinosaur? Yeah, exactly right, Vic, Yeah, we
have breaking.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
News, lovely comments, thick about the news reader voice.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, we should get a jingle?
Speaker 5 (22:19):
Should I think that's already taken by ABC?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Not that version? Can?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I can? I ask Vic? How long does it take
you to find these breaking news articles?
Speaker 5 (22:33):
This one came across my desk, my news desk, and
it was one of those headlines you can't unsee. So
I thought this is a good one for the boys.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Also, I love how she's already slipping. Yeah, she's just.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Getting a big head because of all the compliments.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Definitely not.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
I think she's going to enjoy this one.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You'll see.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
Women's farts smell worse than men's, according to a new
scientific study. Not louder, not more frequent, just stronger. In
the study, men produced more volume, but women's gas contained
a significantly higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide, the compound behind
the classic rotten egg smell, but they found the hydrogen
(23:20):
sulfide was also linked to higher brain signaling, so a
smellier fart could just be the body's way of helping
the brain.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
April has some strong farts. I love it. That was
the word that was used. It was like, yes, they don't,
they're stronger.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I don't want to throw Laura under the bus. She
fared a lot when she was pregnant. Wow.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Remember when we talked about her the silent fart being
a hot sigh?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Huh. I do think mine smell. Laura farts more often,
but she hers don't smell.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I have the opposite in our family, where I think
the more you hold it, the more it stinks.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
So when April does let one out, it's fested. Oh god,
I'm so sorry, but you stink. You do it in
front of you, It's always an accident. Mine, very intentional,
loud and proud.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
I push.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Do you fight in front of your husband?
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Vick Ah, Yeah, I'm never going to be able to
look at you the same ever again.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Who would you say, has this smelly fart?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Actually?
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I did a poll because I knew this story was
coming up, so I brought it up at the dinner
table last night, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Were the kids yeah, okay, And I was like, who.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Do you think?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Who do you think has the smelly Fart's mummy or daddy?
And they were both like, oh my god, this is
the funniest thing we've ever spoken about. And they said daddy.
But I think because they love me so well. But
Dan would one hundred percent say minor worse.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Yeah, yeah, I think honestly, I think women stink way more.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
But fun fact, in my research, humans past gas up
to twenty three times a day.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
That's the amateur numbers. What age? Do you just not
have any control?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Because I remember my grandmother makes you rest in peace
years ago she just be walking past and just drop
one like.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Oh Nana and not even fucking register it happened. Do
you not know? Or are you just like fuck it
long enough?
Speaker 6 (25:24):
Now?
Speaker 3 (25:24):
I'm not yet.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
What is the breadth? Brain signals just slow? Like by
the time they're like oh the farts coming, I'm already
standing there looking at my mom being like what the
fuck was that? And she's like, oh.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Whatever, Like yeah the delay response.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Maybe me her sphincter is just like so exhaust out.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah, I think it's that Wow.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
Is this like fast and less?
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Masshole is an amazing part of the body.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
It is a lovely bit of anatomy.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
It is. It's just so many uses, never mine.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I feel like we all know each other better after
this segment.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, day, if you really want to bond with people,
talk about your far.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
My sister's family. Shout out to my sister.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
She's gonna love this.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
They don't fight or birth in front of each other.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Oh God, I just had child trauma. WHI Okay, I'll
tell your story.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You story.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Gather around the farts. Kids, I'll tell you. When I
was a child, maybe a little bit older than Oscar,
I was in a friend's car. I was in the
back with him, and I remember it was a burp,
not a far. I burped and the mom lost it.
You anyway, I was banned from their house. My banned
(26:36):
from being friends with that kid.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
She was just waiting for anything.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
She just must have hated me, and she's like, here
it is, this is me. I remember she gave me
a dressing down about it, and I'm like seven, and
I was like, fuck you.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
No, you must have been a naughty kid. You sneeze
and She's like, get the fuck out of the car,
right we're on a highway, shut up and get out.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Shamed me. He actually shamed me in front of the
in front of the rest of the family. Oh yeah,
this took a turn, didn't it that you want?
Speaker 5 (27:06):
Did it work though, because sometimes.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I'm just right up there. I dropped, I dropped my
guts and left their car promptly. I actually never spoke
to that kid ever. Again. Wow, that's bad parenting and
fuck you Jeremy.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
Now, and that's breaking.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
That was great.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Speaking of bad habits.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Yes, my child has picked up the worst habits ever.
I'm batlan with Oscar the moment.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, I called you before we recorded, and your fucking
just okay.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
The situation is that I feel like he's picking up
bad habits from school, which is going to do. They're like,
you know, kids are so easily influence, they're going to
pick stuff up. Trying to raise Oscar to be the
good boy, the good boys finish for I want you
to be a good boy because you've got a little
sister and he's obviously going to be boys will be
boys and pick up things. But he started to like
(28:07):
fib to me, which is like I wouldn't quite put
them in the category of lies, because liars are like
a lie is like quite an embellishment of something that
just blatantly didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
But I feel like a fib is.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
This on par with this fibbing. As an example, Marley
picked up the baby thermometer. Yeah they go missing so easily,
you know, and they're fucking expensive as well. And she
was playing with it. I said, put it back in
the little bowl that we have all like the random
stuff in.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
The family filing.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
She put it under the TV cabinet and I said,
don't put it there. That's not where it was, and
she goes, yeah, that was there. I said, no, it wasn't.
It's in the bowl. I saw you get out of
the bowl and she goes, he gummy.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
So that kind of like that, like I'll just give
you what happened this morning, please, right.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
So Oscar a very sweet boy.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
He can he can be, but he has a nasty
streak in him where he'll just like just things that
don't need to be said. So like I was going
to read something for him, but I was also like
holding it up to read it. But listening to April
was also telling me at the same time, so I
was just.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Waiting and the delay. He went, well, can't you read?
And I was like, fuck, that's mean, Like what like,
I'm doing this doing your favor. Bro.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
For the record, you're a great reader, thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No, I'm actually not, but I can read what this was.
And I was like, okay, well hang on. Like I
was trying to separate the situation.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I was like, hey, can you just go to room
for sept Well I finished with mum and you know,
like that's not very nice. I didn't like it. It
just got me off side. And then I went and
saw him and I.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Was talking to him. I was like like, why did
you say this? Like I didn't And I was like, okay,
all right, stop.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You fucking said it because you said it to me
and I've got two ears at work.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I think were like did you say that? And I
was like I went back to the definitely now you
got me questioning everything.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
No, And I said April, I said you heard that right?
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Yeah, I was bringing witnesses. I was like, was like trial.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I was like, did he did? He not?
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Said? He was like sustain I objacked anyway, He was.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Like, what the fuck is going on.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
That's like seven o'clock in the morning. Guy's chill out.
And I said, okay. I was like, back it up.
You said it. No, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I said, don't lie to me. I was getting frustrated
and I was like, hey, don't. I said, liars. You're
in the same category here. Don't lie to me. You
can tell me whatever you want to tell me. You
said it, just agree that you said it. No, And
I'm like this, this is ridiculous, and I left him.
I said, just have a minute to calm down. Bringing
(30:42):
everyone needs to come back down. It was recess hit
the gavel and then I ape was going to the
room and spoken to him and it was like, she was like,
just let him regulate himself.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Here because this is weird.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Because he he definitely said it, and I caught him
lying the other day. So he's obsessed at the moment
with Pokemon cards because it's making a resurgent, as is
his dad.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Because I am a child.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
And I have some expensive ones that I have and
I've kept and sometimes he wants to look at them.
And then I was like, you can look at them,
but don't take any out he was like, yeah, okay,
and I trusted him because he's my son and I
wanted to trust him. But I caught him taking them
out and then I said, hey, I told you not
to do it.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Did you take this out? He said no. I said,
so it just walked out on its own.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
And then I said to him, all right, fine, but
just so you know, do not take things from me,
man like, do not steal from anyone.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
It's the wrong thing to do. Trying to say, look,
don't do it, because if you do it here, then
what're you going to do out there? And I don't
need that. I said, it's important that you just can
tell me whatever you want to tell me. If you're
embarrassed about.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It, fine, And then I said, I'll give you an
opportunity right now.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Have you taken any other cards out of any of
the binders that I've let you go through? As child
as this may.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Sounds, asking the question as we are speaking now.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
That really, sensibly, I could have easily just been erratic
and angry like people would be, or like old Ash
would be, or like a normal ash would be.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Sometimes that was the weirdest sentence. Anyway, I get it,
you got it.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Everyone's got it good. And then and he was like, no,
that's it. I said, thank you, and I trusted him because.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
He's my son.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
How did you?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
But I had an inkling, Matthew, so I left it
and I came back and I was in his room
with him, sorting through his cards and found one of mine.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Motherfucker.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
And I was like, hey, I gave you the opportunity.
I'll give you one more opportunity, and you're lucky because
I wouldn't give people any more than that one.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
But also, you've got the gun in your hand right now.
It's still smoking. Yeah, thick fucking games up. The jig
is up, as they say in the court of law.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Yes, and then they goes do.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Laura in order reference for anyone as if you don't
know that sound perfectly, just perfectly.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
It's more like moving on.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
And I was like, hey, are there anymore? And he
said no, and I said I'm sorry. I was I
don't believe you, and he was like, he was like what,
I'm like, I don't believe you. I said, pass me
your binder and I grabbed the binder and he came
forward and he was like, okay, okay, I did it. Okay,
I did it, and I was like, bro, I was sad,
(33:25):
man I was.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
I said to him, I said, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I don't know how to deal with this because I've
never had to deal with this before.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I don't know what I can.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Betrayed by your own I was betrayed.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
And I was like, give me your folder, and I
took the folder to another room. I told Averra what
was going on because she was like, what's happening?
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Because I was being this sort of tone because I
wanted to go know what was happening here.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, and I was also shocked. And I went to
the room and I opened the folder. He has thousands
of dollars of my cards in there, as again as
a child. Just this may sound, it doesn't matter, it's
the principle. And I was like shocked, like he robbed
a bank. I was like wow, and I was like, fuck,
what do I do?
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Anyway?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (34:10):
I went back in and I said, bro, I've found it.
You lied to me. I gave you an opportunity. You
lied to me again. And he was so distraught and
I was.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Like, really good, that's good.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, I really kept it calm, and I said to him, Hey,
you're lucky that this happened behind closed doors. I said,
can you imagine if you were caught stealing outside of
this house and someone else had to deal with you
and with this, I said, they'd lock you up, simple,
plain and simple. And I thought at that point he
had got the message. But then there's little things since
(34:44):
then he's still lying to me, like this morning. But
then after I said, hey, I'll give you a minute
to admit it, and he said yes. I said, best
policy is to be honest, be honest, apologize, let's move on.
And I thought we did, But then I don't know
if your kids do this in trouble. So he spent
the rest of the morning sulking, trying to regain some attention.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Oh yeah, they make themselves the victim.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Like I would say, yeah, I'd be like on, like,
just get on with the day. Let's get on with
the day. But I could tell he was still sulking.
We're in the car and I said, hey, your turn
to choose the song what we're gonna listen to, And
because he was sulking, he was like telling me the song,
but like the song was called nine eleven or nine
one one, or something he was like, and I was like,
I can't hear man, And I was like, I can't.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Hear you, and he was still sulking, and I was like,
what do I do here? And I just turned around
and I said, Hey, you made a mistake. I'm okay
with you being sad about it, and if you're sad
about something else, tell me. But sulking and sad is.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Very different, okay. And I was like, how am I
supposed to hear you?
Speaker 1 (35:48):
If you want that song project it, like, hey, Dad,
I would love this song or I want this song,
not because you're not going to get the sympathy from
me when you did the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Trying to do. He just wants He just wants you
to come back and be like it's gonna be okay, oscar,
don't worry. That's always asking, And that's what I did.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
After that, we got out of the car and I
put his bag on it and I said, hey, all
your emotions are valid, but I don't want you just
sulking for the sake of sulking. If you're really sad,
you say, Dad, I'm sad, and we'll try and figure
out what.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
It is and how we can help after you hugged
him and walked away.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
We're like, what the.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Shifty get good?
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Anyway, That's what I was doing. It's the age.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I think it's the age when Marley's really pushing boundaries
at the moment, more so than ever before. And we're
like like, oh my gosh, my sweet innocent little child,
my little angel. She's now like she got in trouble
by the teacher a couple of times just by pcurely
not listening clear instructions. Take kids, I'm going to leave
the classroom for a minute. Everyone's stay in their seats,
and Marley's like the one child that gets up and
(36:51):
she comes back. He's like what are you doing? And
she's like what And I'm like, Marley, what are you? Like?
What's happening here? I think it's she we'll go through it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
We're talking to a friend of Abouz who has slightly
older kids, and she was like, my eldest son was
such a sweet boy all the time, and then he
just over this time, the same age as Oscar and
Marley week butt.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
He's just a jerk. And then he's not and he's
a jerk and it's like okay, well, yes, put in
the work and acknowledge it, because a lot of parents
give up and they're like, oh God, and then those
kids continue that behavior and influence other kids.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'm not an expert here either, and I'm not going
to give advice me either. But the thing that I
try and do because I'm tempted to be like Marley,
don't like slam your shoes on the floor, put your
bag away, And it's so easy to just be like,
don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't
do this all the time that I obviously I have
to at some point be like, hey, do not do that.
(37:49):
But at the same time, when she does things well,
I have to really make sure I'm heroing the moments
where she's being well behaved and she she's so bad
with her manners. If she does say no thank you,
I'm like, foravelah, yeah, whoa, there she is, and I
really drive home how amazing it is when she does
behave well.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you spend I feel like I
spent so much time being like, don't do that, stop
doing this something that that when yeah, like the other
day when he did jiu jitsu on a Saturday which
I sort of threw it on him last minut I
was like, do you want to go to Jujitsu's starting
in fifteen minutes?
Speaker 3 (38:20):
He was like, oh yeah, okay, and I kind of
thought if he gets down there, it does a bit.
He did all the whole thing. He was sweaty.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
He was there for an extra fifteen twenty minutes having
a gren and I was like, bro, that was amazing,
Like you didn't you went over and above there? And
that was like trying to balance out the stop this,
stop that, because I feel like all he would hear
is just to stop and don't.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
So then he's like, for fuck you, because I know
what I would be like at that time.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
I'm like that Now if someone's like, don't do that,
stop doing that, I'm like, fuck, I'll do whatever I
want and i'll do it better.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
You watch.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
So sometimes when you do good things, I'm like, well, Dnash,
thank you such a good boy.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
But anyway, I'm dealing with that right now, and it's
just like I just want I just want him to
be a nice boy.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
That's it, Ash. I have a parenting hack which will
change your life. Wow, how do your kids are too old? Actually?
I take that back.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Your kids are the same age.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
No, I've got a new bug, a five month old.
Oh yeah, can we forget wheel that over there, we
forget about Poppy.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
I appropriated one more time that sex, one more time
than you.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
That's why I had Poppy. Really yeah, I just one
more time dominant over ash.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Yeah, yeah, I get I know your angle.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Thank you, thank you. Poppy currently five months old, maybe.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
A little bit older, two years older than that.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, yes, ray Man over here, you're right, she's five months,
two weeks and twenty four days and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
That's actually correct.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
She is terrible in the car, okay. It hates the
fucking car backwards still in the capsule in space ship.
Some of the kids we remember when they were bad,
they had like moments where they was sick and they
couldn't sleep. Put him in the car and they fall
sleep in the car and we put on the capsule.
It's like we've like strapped it down into a bed
of nails. She just hates it, hates it. But there
is one one song, one song that will stop the crying.
(40:04):
And this song is on repeat right now every single
card trip with Poppy. I don't know how old this
song is. But this song is fucking magic.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
It's called Duality from slipknot Better.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
It's called great name, very fitting the happy song. Shout
out to image and.
Speaker 8 (40:21):
Heap, Yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
That is good gear.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
That's the song.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
It just just goes to show you could write a
song about absolutely anything.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
And you look happy right now, happy look at the well.
Alfter the Oscar story, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
just distract me. It's a happy fu song. VIC thoughts
on the song, Yeah, it's lovely okay, wow, wow, hard
crowd over here?
Speaker 3 (41:40):
What about what about some gusto? Now that feels it
feels forced. I felt like I was.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Trying to hear what the lyrics about sucking?
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Okay, so that now there is one line in there.
Let me just see if you can hear this. It
sounds like something.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Else submarine, but it's suck my ring.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
I used to think it would suck my ring, and
I was like sure whatever. I was like, ring ring,
suck my ring.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
We were just talking about it as well, and.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Laura was like, it's some it's submarine, that's yeah. I
was like, windows down, like second can suck my ring?
Speaker 3 (42:17):
I don't think you could listen to that and not
be happy.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I love it, and I think any parent out there
who has a young child in the car, it's just
play that song and you'll fucking have a great time.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Agreed. I'm having a great time right now.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Moving on to this segment. Right now.
Speaker 7 (42:34):
Now you need us more than ever, know that we
still have each other.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
You can send sure doting dilemma. You can send doting dilemma, Ella, Ella,
And can.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
I just really quickly hang on. I know we just
said doty dilemmas, but there's been a fucking curveball just
thrown in my court.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Go on, Okay, this is as it happened, Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
In the parent group chat. Parents in CARES are warmly
invited to attend the K six Citizenship Awards Assembly on Tuesday.
The special event is an opportunity to celebrate the achievements
and contributions of our students. In addition, the year two
students will showcase the choral skills choral coral, choral, choral what.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
Is that word like? Oral? Just say that.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
They've been developing throughout the year, singing a song. Where
the where the funck? Was this not in the newsletter? Here?
God damn it. I don't know what to do. I
don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
I don't want to send someone else, send that humble brag.
Speaker 5 (43:37):
Louis got an awarded assembly.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
What's that?
Speaker 5 (43:40):
Louis got an awarded Assembly And it was the first
thing he told me when I picked him up. He
came running and he's like his little face was all
like lit up, and he's like, Mommy.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
I got an award.
Speaker 5 (43:49):
And they have assembly on Fridays, which we're not invited.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
To, but that's the dream.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Oh yeah, I would have loved to pop.
Speaker 5 (43:57):
And it was a bronze award and it was for
you guys will like this actually enthusiasm in maths games.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
Okay, So like he just loved it so much.
Speaker 5 (44:07):
I think she's just really enthusiastic.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
That's good. Yeah, Well, if he loves it, means he's
gonna he does it, right.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (44:15):
And so if you get five bronze awards, you get
a silver award, and if you get a silver award,
you get an email to come in and like watch
at assembly.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
You get the call up. Yeah, you're like, get back
out of it, keep on, keep the energy high? What else?
What else can we? How many subjects of it. Let's
be enthusiastic about all of them. Yeah, we'll get an award.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Probably not. I mean, she's got things.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
She's good, that's great.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
She's great, she's great, she's great. She's one of the
first students. I've got a blue award.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
There you go, she got something. What's the blue award?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Blue awards like award, but you get it. Maybe do
one every two weeks. Whoever is just being well behaved
and listening presented in class.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, Oscar got a little slip at the home and
it was a shout out card thing.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
I don't know what they call it. Color wise.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Look at us just swinging our dicks, be like, my
kid's better than your child.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Mine is blue.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Well show you.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
Alright, Matthew, your child gone.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Well.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
I got it out of the bag and it said
it was like shout out to Oscar for excellence in listening.
And I was like, bullshit, too bad.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
He's a liar.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Yeah, yeah, too bad. He doesn't listen to me.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
He just lies.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
I'm going to give him award for bulk lying. Okay,
soz thing really threw me off. They give it this
wrong kid.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Sorry, So he is actually good a school is just
ship at home.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Jess written in Oh shut up, Jess, yes, ignore, I'm
going through something here, all right.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
This is from jests on the Facebook group with lots
of school parties coming up already this year, discussing with
my husband what the appropriate cost of each present should be?
Speaker 3 (46:05):
Very good question. What do you.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Guys think is an acceptable amount to pay for each
present for school friends, not necessarily family members?
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Distinction between the two. I like that?
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Okay, Okay? Well Shannon also shout out to Shannon. She
did a poll which I love than anything. She asked,
is it ten to twenty, twenty to thirty, thirty to
forty or forty plus?
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Forty plus is a bit?
Speaker 2 (46:29):
No one?
Speaker 3 (46:29):
Still?
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Did anyone do forty us?
Speaker 3 (46:37):
Very good? It was a lowline, okay.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Vic was quite shocked that I put in the category
thirty to forty.
Speaker 5 (46:45):
There's so many kids birthday parties get invited to many
thirty to forty?
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Your hard when we get give him a roll?
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Next?
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Why don't you here? You go?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Son? No? Well, what do you buy? I mean, what
can you get from under thirty bars?
Speaker 3 (46:59):
I'll tell you what you can get? So much so, Macey.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
You're making me look like I'm bad, I'm out of touch.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Macey went to her first birthday party, like I went
with her to go and pick something, and it was like, oh,
around about that twenty dollars mark we thought was a
max and it was like a bead making kit that
was for three plus. So it was like big beads
obviously came out, shout out absolutely, and I was like, okay,
we got that.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
So it's like, it's not just a here's a toy.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
You wanted something that's like crafty, I think is a
good option, and that a couple of.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Coloring books and maybe a book to read, a bedtime
lovely that's it. And it was like twenty barks.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
What about a T shirt?
Speaker 3 (47:37):
But a T shirt in there of a searchy T shirt?
You're like, what's hot at the moment? A sarch about Gucci.
Oh it's a bit of hard. Oh it's a bit cheap.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Okay, all right, you know, there's only so many times
I can laugh at a joke that's at my expence.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
We bought them a property. I think, Look, I think
twenty dollars is enough.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Twenty bucks okay, yeah, all right?
Speaker 3 (48:05):
And look and I think as well likes more.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
I don't like the expectation because I think that twenty
dollars is as much to me it is to you, right,
but at twenty dollars might be different to someone else.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Can I just defend myself for one second?
Speaker 3 (48:19):
No?
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Okay. We went to that birthday party of the weekend.
It was dinosaur themed. I was in Kmart Friday night
at ten pm, so I.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
Bought them a real dinosaur.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
And also before the party on the friday, I was like, hey,
what do you because Lola was like, that's the birthday boy.
And I was like, hey, dude, what do you want.
He's like anything with a remote control and I was like,
got it. It was a Jurassic Park remote control car
and it was the Jeep and it was like thirty
two bucks and I was like, get two of those.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Too.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
So I was like, that's a great gift. I'm here,
I'm here to I want to make the kid.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Yeah, I had a great ye. Look, spend within your
means and don't feel that you're going to be judged
by it. That's my there.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
He is there, he.
Speaker 5 (49:01):
Is depends on how close and.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
That's what we have.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Time. She's been going to do that I know for
it ageous.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
How did it feel? Do you feel big? I thought
it would feel better.
Speaker 5 (49:13):
I think it depends on the kid's relationship with your child.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I didn't. I didn't really know the kid. I just
got triggered because it was the first Invita has ever gotten.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
I was like, how much do you like the kid?
Speaker 5 (49:27):
But I also think, like as a mum of kids
that get presents, I don't want a million presents from
my kid, like big presence, Like they're going to get spoiled.
I say to parents five to ten bucks max, Like
go to k mar. You can get a book from
there for like four dollars and a cute little T
shirt for six bucks.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Done.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
So I was in the money with a T shirt.
That was a good call for me. I think that's
it's relaxed, Okay, it's Blensya.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
April went to a birthday party with Oscar over the
weekend while I was continuing the flaw That's lasting forever,
and she came back and she said, someone mentioned.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
To me a gifting shelf and I was like, they're
just giving out shelves now, like furniture. I care, Yeah,
do you know what we could use a gifting dining
table if anyone.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
And no, She's like, no, it's like your kid has
a party, right. The thought behind a gift is what
is what matters?
Speaker 1 (50:21):
Right, And it's like if I get two or three
of one thing, which does happen because they're just toys.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
There's only so many toys out there.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
She's like, I might just put one on the gifting
shelf so that when a party comes back around totally
you can.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Be like, well we've got something for that boom. Never
heard of the gifting shelf you?
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah, we have in Nana's bedroom. We've got a little
section where the junk shelf. We just yeah, if we
just have random little even for Christmas time. Yeah, things
are I'm like, that's not going to get played with.
We'll give it to another parent. Yeah, it's a clutter
up their house.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
It's like you know when you get sent unwanted pr
like you just all of a sudden you get a
package and it's like a bunch of little knickknacks and
it's like to promote their whatever.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Right, it must be nice.
Speaker 3 (51:01):
Yeah, yeah, it is nice.
Speaker 5 (51:03):
You love a package.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
It's for work.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
You just lost the audience.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
No, I'm talking to just lost movie right, no, no, whatever, you.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Know when you're flying in a helicopter.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
No no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah, look yeah you're one of you're me. Now stop fighting?
Its rolling your eyes. Hey, we we need out of here.
Also Special mentioned all the parents out there who were
hiding chocolate Easter eggs this coming weekend for the children.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
Have fun, enjoy, don't hide them anywhere in direct sunlight.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
And enjoy having children that are so hyped up on
sugar they can barely control their emotions. It's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
I hide mine in my mouth, and then the kids
are just looking around for something that doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (51:56):
But I'm well fed.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
Okay, that information weirdo. Okay, if you enjoy this episode,
please And we are getting so many reviews right now.
I'm just when I'm massive. I don't look at pornography.
I just read the comments.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
You can't anymore.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Leave that in. And you can also find us on
social media.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
Yes, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, groups, YouTube, everywhere.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
We're there and also a few people have mentioned this,
but if you would like to, I don't know, just
maybe send it to someone. This is a pyramid scheme. Okay,
what we need is for you to recruit other dotors
to make us as strong as possible. And furthermore so,
we want an army of dots.
Speaker 3 (52:43):
You'll get ten percent of.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
Imagine a virus that is spreading through the country and
you can be a spread up that's a super super
spread up and do that by sharing the episodes.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Well said, I think I can't articulate any further on that.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
That's I worked in marketing for almost ten years.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Very good, Thank you, and we'll.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
See you guys nextly.
Speaker 6 (53:04):
Seen up.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
Two. Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight island
of people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land
I want to start this episode off with a really
(00:01):
really really sad and upsetting story. So I don't know
if you want to start the app because you know
how you injured me all the time.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Because you're always like, I've got a really quick story,
and then you're like chapter seventeen.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
This is quick, but it might have a side quest
good way through?
Speaker 4 (00:14):
Okay, do you say.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome back to two doting dads.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
I am Maddie J And I'm Ash.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
the good, it is the bad and the relatable, and
no advice will ever be given.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Yes, hit me as you know, not drinking. I filled
that void with food, a lot of Uber eats. Yeah,
you're the best customer.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Would you ever look at how much you spend per
year on the app? It's dangerous, right, Look this year
is so it'd be like the casino going. Do you
want to see how much money you've put into the slot?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Look at didn't see the dollar amount, but I've seen
the amount of orders.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Do you want to just know that really quick?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
When I looked at it was sixty eight this year.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
That's that's pathetic amateur numbers.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
What do you mean, that's it. How many days has
there been this year?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
How many weeks? What do we march?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
So three months?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Run up three times for it is twelve twelve weeks.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
That's like every there's twenty days of the year that
so far that I haven't had over each with dinner.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
What's Math's number? What's yours? So even that's not story.
So the story is that told you there'd be a
side quest A long way. I was recently in Melbourne
and I.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Ordered Uber Eats for dessert because in the mini bar
at this hotel that I was put up in, no chocolate,
nothing good, Like, if there's not a dairy milk in
a fridge in a hotel, throw the fuck?
Speaker 3 (01:43):
What's the point of having in the fridge?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I think you shouldn't underestimate how good just a plain
old dairy milk.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Is, especially when there's no kid going give moves on,
You're on your own, nice piece and quiet, a nice
piece of they just had like two. Just what's the
point to have in the fridge, you ask me? So
I ordered would you get? I ordered it from like
a Col's Express where I can't remember it was, I
want an ice cream?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
I was like, what's the my mask. So I looked
and they had on sale. They had like the ban
and Jerry, which they're little tubs. It's not enough for
big Daddy over here.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And I was like, okay, I need more than that.
And then I saw they had the on special like
a blue ribbon or something like that that was just
a leader, and I was like the leader. But I
was like, I'm here for three nights and I could
put it right in the back of the freezer bit
of the of the frieze.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
There was a freeze, but that was my next question. Yeah,
well I thought you would have to like burn through
this in one sitting.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I wish, but like it was not like a proper freezer,
you know.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Just are youtubing gumry?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Three three years swallowed it?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Ah, that's my commitment to you.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
That's a myth that's never coming out.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If that's true, I'm just foolish.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
You.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I'm just I'm you know, they say you're like ninety
percent water. The other ten percent of me is chewing
gum extra. It's just extra, not a sponsor, not sponsor sponsor.
And I was like, okay, put it in the free
but it's not a full freezer, as you know. But
I thought I'll keep it at a nice temperature that
will still be edible. And it came and unfortunately it
was already melted, so I had not I couldn't do anything.
It was And have you ever had you know, an
(03:07):
ice creams like a nice melted and you're like that
like the bottom of a bowl, and it's like yeah, No,
it was like sludgy vanilla sludge.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Did you complain?
Speaker 3 (03:16):
No? I just had to tip it out and move
on with what I told you. It was going to
be a tragic story. Wow, I was so so sad.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Did you have both were gone?
Speaker 3 (03:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Did you get sorry? Can I just confirm? Was it
the white ribbon, white ribbon? Or was it the Ben
and Jerry's.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
No.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I only got the white ribbon because I thought I'm
going to be for a couple of days. I can
just ration it.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And you didn't get the Ben and Jerry's.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
I didn't get it because I thought I'll get the
bigger one. Savvy was on sale and it turned up
and it was fully melted already, so I couldn't salvage it.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
So I got no ice cream? Is it a sad story?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Very sad.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
That's the life I live right now.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. You've
been having onto that story as well for a long time.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
I just remember, but so what did you just go
to bed? I went to bed sad. I'm still sad.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
He jerked off, didn't Yeah, I poured it down the
sink and I thought you didn't drink it.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, it was just it was past nice, melted.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
How does it get because they take it out of
the freezer, something's.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
Happened, someone's put it on the shelf for where they
got it from. I reckon. They're like, just get him
on from the shell. Oh, it's just told you. If
I was you, I want you to love complaining on it. No.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I think it's like if you order a coffee and
it's half spilt, you are deserving it.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
It's there.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Who the thing is that melted ice crew, but you
deserve a summer.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I don't know, okay, I was out numbered.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
By who the people.
Speaker 5 (04:46):
On me?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Thy will? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I didn't know who to complain to the hotel and
they're like, that's the guy.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Also, I didn't ice cream guy. I didn't know who
would be at fault. I don't want to accuse the
wrong person. That's just mean. You mean, yeah, I don't
know what. He might have been really quick, but the
guy at the shot was slow. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Look, not to make this a very sad episode, but
I have some sadness. Oh God, Yes, so Ronda. For
people who are joining us, she is my neighbor, the general,
the General. She at times was a little bit tricky
to live next to. I'm not going to sugarcoat it.
I'm not going to pretend like it was, you know,
one big happy relationship, rainbows and butterflies. We had our moments. Yes,
(05:29):
there were happier times, but for the most.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Part, ripped the band aid off, Matthew.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
She's passed away. Happened last week on Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I'm going to miss her staring at me, entering your ass.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
It is so strange right now. Every time I put
something in the bin, she had her front window and
she would always be standing there and I'd glance up
and she'd just be there. She's just looking at me.
And I now, like last night, I put something in
the bin, I look up and I just expect to
see her standing there.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
But when I see you again, Well a.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Moment for Ronda there. It is. So shout out to
my neighbor who messaged me and was like, hey, I
think we should check on Ronda. Her blind is normally up,
always at the beginning of the day, and it's been
down for a couple of days now. And also I
put her bins out. I'm not a hero, not a hero,
but I will say that. But it bins out every Monday,
(06:24):
and a couple of times I've forgotten, got to three
o'clock in the afternoon, just got a bad hip, but
she would go, oh, Matt's not going to do it.
I will do it. And then I got home on
that Monday at six o'clock and a bin wasn't out,
and I thought, oh, that's a bit weird. Ronda would
have put it out by now, but I was jumping
into a record of another podcast. Sorry, and I said,
I think you should do the welfared check. Finish the record,
(06:46):
turn my phone on. Was the message. She's passed away.
Oh it's very sad. No family, no friends, no one.
The police will like if she had me, but I
wasn't there. So they go to my neighbor. You've got
to come and identify the body is there with her
kids going I don't know if I'm in a position
to do that, and they were like, will you got to?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And she was like, that's not not What do you
mean I gotta I have right?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Well, I was like, surely she would have had the gliss,
I know something. We don't have to just drag in
the neighbor to look at the dead body, which is
quite traumatic.
Speaker 6 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, but she was like, okay, let me just put
something on the TV for the kids. Went next door
and I was like, that's Rhonda and the cop was like,
this is my first dad body. And she was like
what the fuck?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
They all lost their virginity all in one foul swoop.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And then I came home and I was like, sorry
about that. I just dodged it all. Nana was like
I would have done it.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Nana's ruthless.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
She's like smart, Is.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
It still cold? We shouldn't laugh? How was the Are
you allowed to tell you what? How she died? And
what the good thing is?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
She didn't fall. It wasn't as if she had taken
a tumble and she couldn't, you know, reach the phone
and get help. Apparently, when you were about to pass.
I don't know if they just say this to make
it seem less traumatic, but when you're about to pass,
your body instinctively wants to go to the bathroom. So
she in the middle of the night got up on
the toilet and then was and went on the toilet,
so she was still sitting up in a ninety So
(08:23):
it was it was like a pleasant way to go,
Like there was just dead on the toy she was
sitting on the toilet. She was still there leaning against
the wall. Yeah, so it wasn't wasn't a traumatic way
to go. And she did say I remember she said
to Laura, I was born in this house. I would
like to pass in this house. So she got a wish. Wow,
I got a wish. And now we're trying to so
we're trying to hunt down apparently this cousin. Trying to
(08:44):
hunt down the cousin. No one knows who this cousin
is because she was very much personal, kept to herself.
And I had a neighbor up the road who's a
lot older, and I thought she might know who the
cousin is. Excuse me, just really quickly, do you know
Ronda's cousin? And She's like, what's happened to Ronda? And
as I was about to say, Marley and Lola come
down and I was there going like, you know, like
wink wink wing, She's fine, and she goes, something's happened
(09:07):
to Ronda, hasn't it? And I was like what? Oh God?
And then Marley and Laula were like, what's happened to Ronda?
And in the moment I didn't want to say, well,
she's passed.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I said, she's down on the toilet.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
There he is Ashwick singing suddle as a sledgehammer. I
said she's moved house. And Marley was like.
Speaker 7 (09:25):
Oh my god, she's moved past if you shouldn't tell us,
And I was like what the fuck. I was like, Marley,
haven't seen her for like a year, and she was like, I.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Can't believe she's always.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Look kind yell at Mary last Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I was like, she threw a shoot at you, Molly
Cooper climbing the tree.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, she's silly. That's how her relationship that Rascal.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
And then for a few days I kept the lie
of she moved house going until this morning I said, hey, kids,
she's up in heaven and Marley was like, oh, I was.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Much other of that than her move.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
I was like, no one if I can't enjoy no one? Wow.
Let me ask you this though, before you do go,
you instinctively your body wants to evacuate.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
This is what the coroner said.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Okay, they are educated to be coron or something. You can't.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I think you do have to do some level of
study to be a coroner.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah. Is it the people that couldn't quite work on
a live bodies?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Okay? I don't know how many coroners listened to this
episode this podcast, but.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Were they real?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Let me ask you this, would you much rather evacuate
you burs than die or die and then evacuate? If
I would, honestly, I feel like I would be embarrassed.
I would want to go to the toilet before I died.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I well, you talked about Macy having a pooh that
was in the toilet for three days. I don't you know.
I would hope that I don't go because I don't
want people to go like, oh, there's Matt stinks.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
I don't want to be like like, hey, babe walking,
I'm on the sim rig and ship myself and died.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Yeah, that's way worse. I think that'll give it the ck.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I think she's like, oh, she's.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Like, oh, I couple of my married this man.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's just what happens. Kids.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
That's not your real father.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
So Toronda, this episode is dedicated Toronto.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Oh wow, the whole app.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
The whole app.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Yeah, that's fair. Death goals for a whole app. You
were spotted in the wild recently.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You did attend to You attended the soccer game and
then someone said to me, they just sent me a
message with no context and it said, hey, are you
at the Matildas too?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I was like fuck, And then I remember that you
were there. I was like, no, no, I'm at home.
And then I just get a photo. I was like, oh,
there's a photo. So someone sent me a photo of
you been papped. You've really reduced your comedy, your comedy
down to just photo bombing people, like let's get a
(12:04):
nice selfie. That's not on my Because it was like.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Right after the national anthem and there's a couple in
front of me at the football I was like admiring,
you know, like the presentation of the teams and the trophy,
and you look disappointed and then and then next second
I realized that the couple in front of me are
taking a selfie and I perfectly fit into the gap
between them. I'm sitting behind them. And then the next
(12:31):
photo I realize and I leap out of the way.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
I want to see the next one. I just got
that one. What about the fulls that? Just getting that
from a random light? That's good year. I got that
like seven am in the morning.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Shout out.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah that was great.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Shout out to the Mailla housekeeping are in housekeeping. Do
you celebrate your school on the Northern Beaches Harmony Day?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Yeah, there's like where you wear a tounch of orange.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's a very simple rule.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
What do you got well?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Harm Day for us was the least harmonious day for
the parents. We were freaking the fuck out, said. We
had multiple people panicking in the group chat for the
parents being like what day is it? Like Friday? People
like I'm just gonna send my child with orange in
the backpack just in case, And people were like it's Monday.
Monday is Harmony Day?
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Thursday?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Why was your Thursday?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
I don't know. I feel like it's all made up.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yours just Wednesday?
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Okay, we need an investigation.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
We need to get a line on this, because parents
were like on a Sunday book, we all over again,
and they were like, what colors do we wear? And
people were like orange. And then someone's like, you can
also wear yellow. People were like, it's purple included No, Bethany,
it's not it's orange or yellow.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
There is nothing harmonious about burple. Get her out of
the group gent immediately.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Why are we being so stringent with the rules and
what colors to wear a harmony day? Why don't we
just say any color?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
People just need to relax.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
And then a kid was wearing black and he was
being escorted out.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
In his funeral. He's like, I'm going to run this
funeral after this.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Oh god, it was the fucking There must have been
fifty messages in the group chat about what colors are
you allowed to wear and not allowed to wear? Harmony?
Speaker 3 (14:12):
It's just orange.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But then we didn't have any Tell me find me
a parent that has orange in the fucking wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Macy has a cheap blue or pink. Well that's the thing, right,
that's the thing. There's no effort in blue or pink.
There's effort in orange.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Why are we making parents going to more effort.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Why are we making like show that we care about
the harmony of this world?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Matthew, we care by giving fucking money. That's the caring.
You get your money, that's for the charity. Don't fucking
make us jump through hood.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
You gave him money.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
We had to give a gold coin.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Okay, lovely, thank you. It's a nice you know how
much we give? What color? Can the coin be? Ten dollars? Told?
What about two silvers? Two silvers making gold?
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I don't know. We're all intelligent people, but the most
simple little tasks in days just a chain reaction and
panic amongst the parents.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Oh yeah, it's like book week is a book day?
Book week, book month?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What is it? And then someone was like last minute,
they were like, don't forget the assembly which is today.
They're singing the harmony song and I was like, well
what And I was like, Marley, have you been learning
a song? And she's like yeah, And I'm like, I
don't know if you're lying or not. She's always singing something.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, yeah, I just opt out of the group chat.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Well, Laura's going to school at two thirty for this
assembly today. I'm like it's not in the newsletter, and
I didn't want a message in the group chat and
be like is there an assembly? But Laura is like,
all right, I'm going to the assembly at two thirty.
It's just a whim because Marley said she's learned a
song for assembly.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
I want an update on this. Sh'd just be Marley singing.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
But you have assembly on Harmony Day on the Monday.
Why are we splitting it?
Speaker 3 (15:47):
I don't know. There's a board out in the front
of our school that has like, what's happening? It's been
on there.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Would you call it a noticeboard?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Is that a thing? It's a light up.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
It's got lights. Oh, spin eyes.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
There's a casino in the school. But it said Harmony.
It said Harmony Day for weeks. I think they're just
milking it, like we just put this on the board
and people give us money. Let's do this every day.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Yeah. Also, the fucking poor kids, poor kids who rock up.
There's one parent as I was getting off the bike
to get the girls into school, and the parent looked
at me shocked, and then I looked down and her
daughter is wearing a schools uniform and her daughter's like
in panic. As well in panic mode, and Marley and
Laua are like, what's wrong? Why are you we in
(16:32):
the uniform? And then the parent was like, oh, it's okay.
I'm sure there's heaps of clothes in there that you'll
be able to find and put on.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
And I was like, ha ha, I know, Muffy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
So Oscar had a Mufty day, right, which, if you
don't know what a Mufty day is, we whatever you
want with a gold con coin donation for charity, and
it was Oscar's first one. And I was like, Hey,
I'm going to put a school uniform in your bag
in case you want it.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
And he was like, you're not allowed, and I was like,
what do you mean. I was like, you know, I
don't like when people tell me what to do, So
I'm going to put two uniforms in your bag. Now.
He's like, oh fuck, you're not allowed. It's Mufty. But
I was like, just in case, just in case, don't
do it. You get me in trouble, you okay whatever?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Who was speaking to Oscar?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
I don't know, man, I don't know where he's probably
from that light up board. You will die, he will
die if you bring uniform man.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
Sin I put it in there because I put it
in there. In there, I put it in there because
I don't trust him.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
I'm like, like, what, I don't know what to believe
in you boy, faith in your child.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
I know.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Cut's hard. He's like a liar. I'll get to that shortly.
But and he want him to get there, and just
by chance his mates are in school uniform or whatever,
and then he feels left out that he's got a
school shirt.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Very considerate approach from you.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
I was being considerate and I got met with that's
a crime. You're going to jail for this.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Idiots anyway, idiots can I just quickly wish my wife?
What's not yet her birthday? No, will be sorry jesus,
what's the.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
Date of Oh?
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I do know it's March twenty six.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
There he is there, he is, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Laura has turned forty. She's the big four zero. Very
hard to buy for my wife.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Six Wow?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Fuck you know she did. People are calling me in
a panic, like friends fell.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
She looks great.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Sorry, sorry, she thank you? She does look great.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Carry on.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Also, hope she doesn't mind me saying this. She's like,
I can finally treat myself some botox. So she's is
that not all advocates she's never had no, no, she's
had oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah, oh yeah. She's got a home kit.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I think because she's been breastfeeding. You breastfeeding, she's no
longer breastfeeding.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
She get injected to a boobs.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
What you can't put chemicals into your body when you're breastfeeding.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Ah, come on now, come on now, that's that's marketing.
Moving on, go, come on. So I'm a conspiracy theorist.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Now Laura does look great. I will say that you
don't need it, but people don't want to buy it
for Laura. She has a very particular taste and also
out of nowhere. She's like, I got myself an Aora
ring and I was like, well, firstly, those things are
fucking there or fake.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Well waited to delete your aura straight away.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Bro, But I was like, I could have bought that
for you for your present, and she's like, oh, I
just bought it, And I was like, your birthday is
in a fucking week. I do that all the time,
Like you're pointing and now your birthday is seconds away
and you want something fucking tell your friends and tell
me what you want. I'll buy it for you.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I'm a shocker for that.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
April is always like I can never buy you anything
because you've already bought it.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah. I'm also like we're adults, Like what adult is like? Oh,
I can't wait to get my toy car, like we
want something. We just sorry it was not a dig
at you.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Wow fuck you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Now.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I feel a bit better just saying fuck you. Go yeah,
but by the toy car.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Laura, And then I feel like people are gonna be like,
what are you getting, Laura, I've got I've got a
day plan. Oh do tell just like we'll go to
the gym and then we'll oh god.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
Terrible Laura from out of you.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
That's what she wants. She never has time to go
to the gym. We never have time to go together.
And then we go like go for some of icebergs.
They have a nice lunch.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
That's lovely.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Thank you, thank you. That's that's what we have planned
on the thursd.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
I think that's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
I did accidentally booking work on that Thursday that I've
had to like, I've also got a haircut book to
which I need to cancel.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Is it your birthday or seriously, just treating yourself to
work in a haircut. You love that stuff. It's happy birthday, Laura, Yes,
happy birthday Laura.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Will we ever get out of a housekeeping in this episode?
Speaker 3 (20:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Let's get out wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
wait wait we've had this sitting there. Let's do different.
Docus Okay, can I just really quickly from Anna? She says, Hey,
guys love the podcast and have been listening from the start.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
Thank you. Anna.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Ash's recent talk about dinosaurs reminded me of when my
son was only a few years old and had trouble
saying one of the species names incorrectly. Take a listen
to this.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
What's it called dick less dizleuszzle dickless dinosaur.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I love that they're extinct.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
Stickleszle dips her face.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
She's like, what what it's It's a dickless dinosaur.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
That's good gear.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
That's one of those things that when she does finally
say it correctly, you'll.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Be like, oh, yeah, you'll miss it.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
You'll miss it.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
With her l's, she's like, I'm just gonna have a
sweep sleep.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
When she starts pouncing ls, you're like, it's all over.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I know WeGo like lego. Oh god, I'm going to
miss that anyway, but that's good.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Look, honestly, dinosaurs are hard to pronounce, you know when
they do concussion tests and like where are you?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
They should just.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Go pronounce this dinosaur? Yeah, exactly right, Vic, Yeah, we
have breaking.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
News, lovely comments, thick about the news reader voice.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, we should get a jingle?
Speaker 5 (22:19):
Should I think that's already taken by ABC?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Not that version? Can?
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I can? I ask Vic? How long does it take
you to find these breaking news articles?
Speaker 5 (22:33):
This one came across my desk, my news desk, and
it was one of those headlines you can't unsee. So
I thought this is a good one for the boys.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Also, I love how she's already slipping. Yeah, she's just.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Getting a big head because of all the compliments.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Definitely not.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
I think she's going to enjoy this one.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You'll see.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
Women's farts smell worse than men's, according to a new
scientific study. Not louder, not more frequent, just stronger. In
the study, men produced more volume, but women's gas contained
a significantly higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide, the compound behind
the classic rotten egg smell, but they found the hydrogen
(23:20):
sulfide was also linked to higher brain signaling, so a
smellier fart could just be the body's way of helping
the brain.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
April has some strong farts. I love it. That was
the word that was used. It was like, yes, they don't,
they're stronger.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I don't want to throw Laura under the bus. She
fared a lot when she was pregnant. Wow.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Remember when we talked about her the silent fart being
a hot sigh?
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Huh. I do think mine smell. Laura farts more often,
but she hers don't smell.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
I have the opposite in our family, where I think
the more you hold it, the more it stinks.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
So when April does let one out, it's fested. Oh god,
I'm so sorry, but you stink. You do it in
front of you, It's always an accident. Mine, very intentional,
loud and proud.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
I push.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Do you fight in front of your husband?
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Vick Ah, Yeah, I'm never going to be able to
look at you the same ever again.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Who would you say, has this smelly fart?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Actually?
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I did a poll because I knew this story was
coming up, so I brought it up at the dinner
table last night, and I was like.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Were the kids yeah, okay, And I was like, who.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Do you think?
Speaker 5 (24:36):
Who do you think has the smelly Fart's mummy or daddy?
And they were both like, oh my god, this is
the funniest thing we've ever spoken about. And they said daddy.
But I think because they love me so well. But
Dan would one hundred percent say minor worse.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Yeah, yeah, I think honestly, I think women stink way more.
Speaker 5 (24:58):
But fun fact, in my research, humans past gas up
to twenty three times a day.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
That's the amateur numbers. What age? Do you just not
have any control?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Because I remember my grandmother makes you rest in peace
years ago she just be walking past and just drop
one like.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Oh Nana and not even fucking register it happened. Do
you not know? Or are you just like fuck it
long enough?
Speaker 6 (25:24):
Now?
Speaker 3 (25:24):
I'm not yet.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
What is the breadth? Brain signals just slow? Like by
the time they're like oh the farts coming, I'm already
standing there looking at my mom being like what the
fuck was that? And she's like, oh.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Whatever, Like yeah the delay response.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Maybe me her sphincter is just like so exhaust out.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah, I think it's that Wow.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
Is this like fast and less?
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Masshole is an amazing part of the body.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
It is a lovely bit of anatomy.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
It is. It's just so many uses, never mine.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
I feel like we all know each other better after
this segment.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, day, if you really want to bond with people,
talk about your far.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
My sister's family. Shout out to my sister.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
She's gonna love this.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
They don't fight or birth in front of each other.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Oh God, I just had child trauma. WHI Okay, I'll
tell your story.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
You story.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
Gather around the farts. Kids, I'll tell you. When I
was a child, maybe a little bit older than Oscar,
I was in a friend's car. I was in the
back with him, and I remember it was a burp,
not a far. I burped and the mom lost it.
You anyway, I was banned from their house. My banned
(26:36):
from being friends with that kid.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
She was just waiting for anything.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
She just must have hated me, and she's like, here
it is, this is me. I remember she gave me
a dressing down about it, and I'm like seven, and
I was like, fuck you.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
No, you must have been a naughty kid. You sneeze
and She's like, get the fuck out of the car,
right we're on a highway, shut up and get out.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Shamed me. He actually shamed me in front of the
in front of the rest of the family. Oh yeah,
this took a turn, didn't it that you want?
Speaker 5 (27:06):
Did it work though, because sometimes.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I'm just right up there. I dropped, I dropped my
guts and left their car promptly. I actually never spoke
to that kid ever. Again. Wow, that's bad parenting and
fuck you Jeremy.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
Now, and that's breaking.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
That was great.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Speaking of bad habits.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Yes, my child has picked up the worst habits ever.
I'm batlan with Oscar the moment.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, I called you before we recorded, and your fucking
just okay.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
The situation is that I feel like he's picking up
bad habits from school, which is going to do. They're like,
you know, kids are so easily influence, they're going to
pick stuff up. Trying to raise Oscar to be the
good boy, the good boys finish for I want you
to be a good boy because you've got a little
sister and he's obviously going to be boys will be
boys and pick up things. But he started to like
(28:07):
fib to me, which is like I wouldn't quite put
them in the category of lies, because liars are like
a lie is like quite an embellishment of something that
just blatantly didn't happen.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
But I feel like a fib is.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
This on par with this fibbing. As an example, Marley
picked up the baby thermometer. Yeah they go missing so easily,
you know, and they're fucking expensive as well. And she
was playing with it. I said, put it back in
the little bowl that we have all like the random
stuff in.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
The family filing.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
She put it under the TV cabinet and I said,
don't put it there. That's not where it was, and
she goes, yeah, that was there. I said, no, it wasn't.
It's in the bowl. I saw you get out of
the bowl and she goes, he gummy.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
So that kind of like that, like I'll just give
you what happened this morning, please, right.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
So Oscar a very sweet boy.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
He can he can be, but he has a nasty
streak in him where he'll just like just things that
don't need to be said. So like I was going
to read something for him, but I was also like
holding it up to read it. But listening to April
was also telling me at the same time, so I
was just.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Waiting and the delay. He went, well, can't you read?
And I was like, fuck, that's mean, Like what like,
I'm doing this doing your favor. Bro.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
For the record, you're a great reader, thank you.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
No, I'm actually not, but I can read what this was.
And I was like, okay, well hang on. Like I
was trying to separate the situation.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
I was like, hey, can you just go to room
for sept Well I finished with mum and you know,
like that's not very nice. I didn't like it. It
just got me off side. And then I went and
saw him and I.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Was talking to him. I was like like, why did
you say this? Like I didn't And I was like, okay,
all right, stop.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You fucking said it because you said it to me
and I've got two ears at work.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
I think were like did you say that? And I
was like I went back to the definitely now you
got me questioning everything.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
No, And I said April, I said you heard that right?
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Yeah, I was bringing witnesses. I was like, was like trial.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
I was like, did he did? He not?
Speaker 3 (30:01):
Said? He was like sustain I objacked anyway, He was.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Like, what the fuck is going on.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
That's like seven o'clock in the morning. Guy's chill out.
And I said, okay. I was like, back it up.
You said it. No, I didn't.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
I said, don't lie to me. I was getting frustrated
and I was like, hey, don't. I said, liars. You're
in the same category here. Don't lie to me. You
can tell me whatever you want to tell me. You
said it, just agree that you said it. No, And
I'm like this, this is ridiculous, and I left him.
I said, just have a minute to calm down. Bringing
(30:42):
everyone needs to come back down. It was recess hit
the gavel and then I ape was going to the
room and spoken to him and it was like, she was like,
just let him regulate himself.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
Here because this is weird.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Because he he definitely said it, and I caught him
lying the other day. So he's obsessed at the moment
with Pokemon cards because it's making a resurgent, as is
his dad.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
Because I am a child.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
And I have some expensive ones that I have and
I've kept and sometimes he wants to look at them.
And then I was like, you can look at them,
but don't take any out he was like, yeah, okay,
and I trusted him because he's my son and I
wanted to trust him. But I caught him taking them
out and then I said, hey, I told you not
to do it.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Did you take this out? He said no. I said,
so it just walked out on its own.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
And then I said to him, all right, fine, but
just so you know, do not take things from me,
man like, do not steal from anyone.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
It's the wrong thing to do. Trying to say, look,
don't do it, because if you do it here, then
what're you going to do out there? And I don't
need that. I said, it's important that you just can
tell me whatever you want to tell me. If you're
embarrassed about.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
It, fine, And then I said, I'll give you an
opportunity right now.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Have you taken any other cards out of any of
the binders that I've let you go through? As child
as this may.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
Sounds, asking the question as we are speaking now.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
That really, sensibly, I could have easily just been erratic
and angry like people would be, or like old Ash
would be, or like a normal ash would be.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Sometimes that was the weirdest sentence. Anyway, I get it,
you got it.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Everyone's got it good. And then and he was like, no,
that's it. I said, thank you, and I trusted him because.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
He's my son.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
How did you?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
But I had an inkling, Matthew, so I left it
and I came back and I was in his room
with him, sorting through his cards and found one of mine.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Motherfucker.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
And I was like, hey, I gave you the opportunity.
I'll give you one more opportunity, and you're lucky because
I wouldn't give people any more than that one.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
But also, you've got the gun in your hand right now.
It's still smoking. Yeah, thick fucking games up. The jig
is up, as they say in the court of law.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Yes, and then they goes do.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Laura in order reference for anyone as if you don't
know that sound perfectly, just perfectly.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
It's more like moving on.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
And I was like, hey, are there anymore? And he
said no, and I said I'm sorry. I was I
don't believe you, and he was like, he was like what,
I'm like, I don't believe you. I said, pass me
your binder and I grabbed the binder and he came
forward and he was like, okay, okay, I did it. Okay,
I did it, and I was like, bro, I was sad,
(33:25):
man I was.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
I said to him, I said, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
I don't know how to deal with this because I've
never had to deal with this before.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
I don't know what I can.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Betrayed by your own I was betrayed.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
And I was like, give me your folder, and I
took the folder to another room. I told Averra what
was going on because she was like, what's happening?
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Because I was being this sort of tone because I
wanted to go know what was happening here.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Yeah, and I was also shocked. And I went to
the room and I opened the folder. He has thousands
of dollars of my cards in there, as again as
a child. Just this may sound, it doesn't matter, it's
the principle. And I was like shocked, like he robbed
a bank. I was like wow, and I was like, fuck,
what do I do?
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Anyway?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
What did you do?
Speaker 1 (34:10):
I went back in and I said, bro, I've found it.
You lied to me. I gave you an opportunity. You
lied to me again. And he was so distraught and
I was.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Like, really good, that's good.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, I really kept it calm, and I said to him, Hey,
you're lucky that this happened behind closed doors. I said,
can you imagine if you were caught stealing outside of
this house and someone else had to deal with you
and with this, I said, they'd lock you up, simple,
plain and simple. And I thought at that point he
had got the message. But then there's little things since
(34:44):
then he's still lying to me, like this morning. But
then after I said, hey, I'll give you a minute
to admit it, and he said yes. I said, best
policy is to be honest, be honest, apologize, let's move on.
And I thought we did, But then I don't know
if your kids do this in trouble. So he spent
the rest of the morning sulking, trying to regain some attention.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Oh yeah, they make themselves the victim.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Like I would say, yeah, I'd be like on, like,
just get on with the day. Let's get on with
the day. But I could tell he was still sulking.
We're in the car and I said, hey, your turn
to choose the song what we're gonna listen to, And
because he was sulking, he was like telling me the song,
but like the song was called nine eleven or nine
one one, or something he was like, and I was like,
I can't hear man, And I was like, I can't.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Hear you, and he was still sulking, and I was like,
what do I do here? And I just turned around
and I said, Hey, you made a mistake. I'm okay
with you being sad about it, and if you're sad
about something else, tell me. But sulking and sad is.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
Very different, okay. And I was like, how am I
supposed to hear you?
Speaker 1 (35:48):
If you want that song project it, like, hey, Dad,
I would love this song or I want this song,
not because you're not going to get the sympathy from
me when you did the wrong thing.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Trying to do. He just wants He just wants you
to come back and be like it's gonna be okay, oscar,
don't worry. That's always asking, And that's what I did.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
After that, we got out of the car and I
put his bag on it and I said, hey, all
your emotions are valid, but I don't want you just
sulking for the sake of sulking. If you're really sad,
you say, Dad, I'm sad, and we'll try and figure
out what.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
It is and how we can help after you hugged
him and walked away.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
We're like, what the.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Shifty get good?
Speaker 3 (36:28):
Anyway, That's what I was doing. It's the age.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I think it's the age when Marley's really pushing boundaries
at the moment, more so than ever before. And we're
like like, oh my gosh, my sweet innocent little child,
my little angel. She's now like she got in trouble
by the teacher a couple of times just by pcurely
not listening clear instructions. Take kids, I'm going to leave
the classroom for a minute. Everyone's stay in their seats,
and Marley's like the one child that gets up and
(36:51):
she comes back. He's like what are you doing? And
she's like what And I'm like, Marley, what are you? Like?
What's happening here? I think it's she we'll go through it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
We're talking to a friend of Abouz who has slightly
older kids, and she was like, my eldest son was
such a sweet boy all the time, and then he
just over this time, the same age as Oscar and
Marley week butt.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
He's just a jerk. And then he's not and he's
a jerk and it's like okay, well, yes, put in
the work and acknowledge it, because a lot of parents
give up and they're like, oh God, and then those
kids continue that behavior and influence other kids.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'm not an expert here either, and I'm not going
to give advice me either. But the thing that I
try and do because I'm tempted to be like Marley,
don't like slam your shoes on the floor, put your
bag away, And it's so easy to just be like,
don't do this, don't do this, don't do this, don't
do this all the time that I obviously I have
to at some point be like, hey, do not do that.
(37:49):
But at the same time, when she does things well,
I have to really make sure I'm heroing the moments
where she's being well behaved and she she's so bad
with her manners. If she does say no thank you,
I'm like, foravelah, yeah, whoa, there she is, and I
really drive home how amazing it is when she does
behave well.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, you spend I feel like I
spent so much time being like, don't do that, stop
doing this something that that when yeah, like the other
day when he did jiu jitsu on a Saturday which
I sort of threw it on him last minut I
was like, do you want to go to Jujitsu's starting
in fifteen minutes?
Speaker 3 (38:20):
He was like, oh yeah, okay, and I kind of
thought if he gets down there, it does a bit.
He did all the whole thing. He was sweaty.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
He was there for an extra fifteen twenty minutes having
a gren and I was like, bro, that was amazing,
Like you didn't you went over and above there? And
that was like trying to balance out the stop this,
stop that, because I feel like all he would hear
is just to stop and don't.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
So then he's like, for fuck you, because I know
what I would be like at that time.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
I'm like that Now if someone's like, don't do that,
stop doing that, I'm like, fuck, I'll do whatever I
want and i'll do it better.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
You watch.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
So sometimes when you do good things, I'm like, well, Dnash,
thank you such a good boy.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
But anyway, I'm dealing with that right now, and it's
just like I just want I just want him to
be a nice boy.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
That's it, Ash. I have a parenting hack which will
change your life. Wow, how do your kids are too old? Actually?
I take that back.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
Your kids are the same age.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
No, I've got a new bug, a five month old.
Oh yeah, can we forget wheel that over there, we
forget about Poppy.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
I appropriated one more time that sex, one more time
than you.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
That's why I had Poppy. Really yeah, I just one
more time dominant over ash.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Yeah, yeah, I get I know your angle.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Thank you, thank you. Poppy currently five months old, maybe.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
A little bit older, two years older than that.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, yes, ray Man over here, you're right, she's five months,
two weeks and twenty four days and sixteen minutes.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
That's actually correct.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
She is terrible in the car, okay. It hates the
fucking car backwards still in the capsule in space ship.
Some of the kids we remember when they were bad,
they had like moments where they was sick and they
couldn't sleep. Put him in the car and they fall
sleep in the car and we put on the capsule.
It's like we've like strapped it down into a bed
of nails. She just hates it, hates it. But there
is one one song, one song that will stop the crying.
(40:04):
And this song is on repeat right now every single
card trip with Poppy. I don't know how old this
song is. But this song is fucking magic.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
It's called Duality from slipknot Better.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
It's called great name, very fitting the happy song. Shout
out to image and.
Speaker 8 (40:21):
Heap, Yeah, wow.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
That is good gear.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
That's the song.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
It just just goes to show you could write a
song about absolutely anything.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
And you look happy right now, happy look at the well.
Alfter the Oscar story, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
just distract me. It's a happy fu song. VIC thoughts
on the song, Yeah, it's lovely okay, wow, wow, hard
crowd over here?
Speaker 3 (41:40):
What about what about some gusto? Now that feels it
feels forced. I felt like I was.
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Trying to hear what the lyrics about sucking?
Speaker 2 (41:48):
Okay, so that now there is one line in there.
Let me just see if you can hear this. It
sounds like something.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Else submarine, but it's suck my ring.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
I used to think it would suck my ring, and
I was like sure whatever. I was like, ring ring,
suck my ring.
Speaker 3 (42:06):
We were just talking about it as well, and.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Laura was like, it's some it's submarine, that's yeah. I
was like, windows down, like second can suck my ring?
Speaker 3 (42:17):
I don't think you could listen to that and not
be happy.
Speaker 2 (42:20):
I love it, and I think any parent out there
who has a young child in the car, it's just
play that song and you'll fucking have a great time.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Agreed. I'm having a great time right now.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Moving on to this segment. Right now.
Speaker 7 (42:34):
Now you need us more than ever, know that we
still have each other.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
You can send sure doting dilemma. You can send doting dilemma, Ella, Ella,
And can.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
I just really quickly hang on. I know we just
said doty dilemmas, but there's been a fucking curveball just
thrown in my court.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
Go on, Okay, this is as it happened, Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
In the parent group chat. Parents in CARES are warmly
invited to attend the K six Citizenship Awards Assembly on Tuesday.
The special event is an opportunity to celebrate the achievements
and contributions of our students. In addition, the year two
students will showcase the choral skills choral coral, choral, choral what.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
Is that word like? Oral? Just say that.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
They've been developing throughout the year, singing a song. Where
the where the funck? Was this not in the newsletter? Here?
God damn it. I don't know what to do. I
don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (43:34):
I don't want to send someone else, send that humble brag.
Speaker 5 (43:37):
Louis got an awarded assembly.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
What's that?
Speaker 5 (43:40):
Louis got an awarded Assembly And it was the first
thing he told me when I picked him up. He
came running and he's like his little face was all
like lit up, and he's like, Mommy.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
I got an award.
Speaker 5 (43:49):
And they have assembly on Fridays, which we're not invited.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
To, but that's the dream.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Oh yeah, I would have loved to pop.
Speaker 5 (43:57):
And it was a bronze award and it was for
you guys will like this actually enthusiasm in maths games.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
Okay, So like he just loved it so much.
Speaker 5 (44:07):
I think she's just really enthusiastic.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
That's good. Yeah, Well, if he loves it, means he's
gonna he does it, right.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (44:15):
And so if you get five bronze awards, you get
a silver award, and if you get a silver award,
you get an email to come in and like watch
at assembly.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
You get the call up. Yeah, you're like, get back
out of it, keep on, keep the energy high? What else?
What else can we? How many subjects of it. Let's
be enthusiastic about all of them. Yeah, we'll get an award.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Probably not. I mean, she's got things.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
She's good, that's great.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
She's great, she's great, she's great. She's one of the
first students. I've got a blue award.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
There you go, she got something. What's the blue award?
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Blue awards like award, but you get it. Maybe do
one every two weeks. Whoever is just being well behaved
and listening presented in class.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, Oscar got a little slip at the home and
it was a shout out card thing.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
I don't know what they call it. Color wise.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
Look at us just swinging our dicks, be like, my
kid's better than your child.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
Mine is blue.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Well show you.
Speaker 3 (45:20):
Alright, Matthew, your child gone.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Well.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
I got it out of the bag and it said
it was like shout out to Oscar for excellence in listening.
And I was like, bullshit, too bad.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
He's a liar.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Yeah, yeah, too bad. He doesn't listen to me.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
He just lies.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
I'm going to give him award for bulk lying. Okay,
soz thing really threw me off. They give it this
wrong kid.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Sorry, So he is actually good a school is just
ship at home.
Speaker 2 (45:47):
Jess written in Oh shut up, Jess, yes, ignore, I'm
going through something here, all right.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
This is from jests on the Facebook group with lots
of school parties coming up already this year, discussing with
my husband what the appropriate cost of each present should be?
Speaker 3 (46:05):
Very good question. What do you.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Guys think is an acceptable amount to pay for each
present for school friends, not necessarily family members?
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Distinction between the two. I like that?
Speaker 2 (46:17):
Okay, Okay? Well Shannon also shout out to Shannon. She
did a poll which I love than anything. She asked,
is it ten to twenty, twenty to thirty, thirty to
forty or forty plus?
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Forty plus is a bit?
Speaker 2 (46:29):
No one?
Speaker 3 (46:29):
Still?
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Did anyone do forty us?
Speaker 3 (46:37):
Very good? It was a lowline, okay.
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Vic was quite shocked that I put in the category
thirty to forty.
Speaker 5 (46:45):
There's so many kids birthday parties get invited to many
thirty to forty?
Speaker 3 (46:51):
Your hard when we get give him a roll?
Speaker 2 (46:53):
Next?
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Why don't you here? You go?
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Son? No? Well, what do you buy? I mean, what
can you get from under thirty bars?
Speaker 3 (46:59):
I'll tell you what you can get? So much so, Macey.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
You're making me look like I'm bad, I'm out of touch.
Speaker 1 (47:05):
Macey went to her first birthday party, like I went
with her to go and pick something, and it was like, oh,
around about that twenty dollars mark we thought was a
max and it was like a bead making kit that
was for three plus. So it was like big beads
obviously came out, shout out absolutely, and I was like, okay,
we got that.
Speaker 3 (47:25):
So it's like, it's not just a here's a toy.
Speaker 1 (47:27):
You wanted something that's like crafty, I think is a
good option, and that a couple of.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
Coloring books and maybe a book to read, a bedtime
lovely that's it. And it was like twenty barks.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
What about a T shirt?
Speaker 3 (47:37):
But a T shirt in there of a searchy T shirt?
You're like, what's hot at the moment? A sarch about Gucci.
Oh it's a bit of hard. Oh it's a bit cheap.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Okay, all right, you know, there's only so many times
I can laugh at a joke that's at my expence.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
We bought them a property. I think, Look, I think
twenty dollars is enough.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
Twenty bucks okay, yeah, all right?
Speaker 3 (48:05):
And look and I think as well likes more.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
I don't like the expectation because I think that twenty
dollars is as much to me it is to you, right,
but at twenty dollars might be different to someone else.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
Can I just defend myself for one second?
Speaker 3 (48:19):
No?
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Okay. We went to that birthday party of the weekend.
It was dinosaur themed. I was in Kmart Friday night
at ten pm, so I.
Speaker 3 (48:25):
Bought them a real dinosaur.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
And also before the party on the friday, I was like, hey,
what do you because Lola was like, that's the birthday boy.
And I was like, hey, dude, what do you want.
He's like anything with a remote control and I was like,
got it. It was a Jurassic Park remote control car
and it was the Jeep and it was like thirty
two bucks and I was like, get two of those.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
Too.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
So I was like, that's a great gift. I'm here,
I'm here to I want to make the kid.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Yeah, I had a great ye. Look, spend within your
means and don't feel that you're going to be judged
by it. That's my there.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
He is there, he.
Speaker 5 (49:01):
Is depends on how close and.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
That's what we have.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Time. She's been going to do that I know for
it ageous.
Speaker 3 (49:09):
How did it feel? Do you feel big? I thought
it would feel better.
Speaker 5 (49:13):
I think it depends on the kid's relationship with your child.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I didn't. I didn't really know the kid. I just
got triggered because it was the first Invita has ever gotten.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
I was like, how much do you like the kid?
Speaker 5 (49:27):
But I also think, like as a mum of kids
that get presents, I don't want a million presents from
my kid, like big presence, Like they're going to get spoiled.
I say to parents five to ten bucks max, Like
go to k mar. You can get a book from
there for like four dollars and a cute little T
shirt for six bucks.
Speaker 3 (49:45):
Done.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
So I was in the money with a T shirt.
That was a good call for me. I think that's
it's relaxed, Okay, it's Blensya.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
April went to a birthday party with Oscar over the
weekend while I was continuing the flaw That's lasting forever,
and she came back and she said, someone mentioned.
Speaker 1 (50:04):
To me a gifting shelf and I was like, they're
just giving out shelves now, like furniture. I care, Yeah,
do you know what we could use a gifting dining
table if anyone.
Speaker 3 (50:15):
And no, She's like, no, it's like your kid has
a party, right. The thought behind a gift is what
is what matters?
Speaker 1 (50:21):
Right, And it's like if I get two or three
of one thing, which does happen because they're just toys.
Speaker 3 (50:25):
There's only so many toys out there.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
She's like, I might just put one on the gifting
shelf so that when a party comes back around totally
you can.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
Be like, well we've got something for that boom. Never
heard of the gifting shelf you?
Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah, we have in Nana's bedroom. We've got a little
section where the junk shelf. We just yeah, if we
just have random little even for Christmas time. Yeah, things
are I'm like, that's not going to get played with.
We'll give it to another parent. Yeah, it's a clutter
up their house.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
It's like you know when you get sent unwanted pr
like you just all of a sudden you get a
package and it's like a bunch of little knickknacks and
it's like to promote their whatever.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Right, it must be nice.
Speaker 3 (51:01):
Yeah, yeah, it is nice.
Speaker 5 (51:03):
You love a package.
Speaker 3 (51:05):
It's for work.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
You just lost the audience.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
No, I'm talking to just lost movie right, no, no, whatever, you.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Know when you're flying in a helicopter.
Speaker 3 (51:17):
No no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Yeah, look yeah you're one of you're me. Now stop fighting?
Its rolling your eyes. Hey, we we need out of here.
Also Special mentioned all the parents out there who were
hiding chocolate Easter eggs this coming weekend for the children.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
Have fun, enjoy, don't hide them anywhere in direct sunlight.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
And enjoy having children that are so hyped up on
sugar they can barely control their emotions. It's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1 (51:50):
I hide mine in my mouth, and then the kids
are just looking around for something that doesn't exist.
Speaker 3 (51:56):
But I'm well fed.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
Okay, that information weirdo. Okay, if you enjoy this episode,
please And we are getting so many reviews right now.
I'm just when I'm massive. I don't look at pornography.
I just read the comments.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
You can't anymore.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Leave that in. And you can also find us on
social media.
Speaker 3 (52:19):
Yes, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, groups, YouTube, everywhere.
Speaker 2 (52:24):
We're there and also a few people have mentioned this,
but if you would like to, I don't know, just
maybe send it to someone. This is a pyramid scheme. Okay,
what we need is for you to recruit other dotors
to make us as strong as possible. And furthermore so,
we want an army of dots.
Speaker 3 (52:43):
You'll get ten percent of.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
Imagine a virus that is spreading through the country and
you can be a spread up that's a super super
spread up and do that by sharing the episodes.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Well said, I think I can't articulate any further on that.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
That's I worked in marketing for almost ten years.
Speaker 3 (53:01):
Very good, Thank you, and we'll.
Speaker 2 (53:04):
See you guys nextly.
Speaker 6 (53:04):
Seen up.
Speaker 2 (53:26):
Two. Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 3 (53:34):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight island
of people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land
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