June 2, 2026 • 50 mins
This week, we're laying all our worst habits on the table.
From snoring to bath-time dinners and a comment that quickly veered into dangerous territory, the boys aren't exactly covering themselves in glory.
Add in a stressful studio fit-out and a few petty squabbles and things are getting a little tense.
Meanwhile, Nanna's battling a mountain of washing thanks to the endless rain, while Ash puts his secret first-aid skills to the test after Macy takes a tumble.
Plus, one of the smartest breakfast parenting hacks we've heard in ages.
Consider yourself a smart shopper? Take the ALDI IQ Test today at www.IQ.ALDI.com.au and find out if you’re a true grocery genius... or not.
ALDI. Good different.
If you want a tradie recommendation or to make one of your own head to www.hernextvillage.com.au or to get in touch with Dan head to https://www.instagram.com/pierce.projects/
If you need a shoulder to cry on:
Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm anti umbrella. It's been a bit rainy. This is
the problem. I go, okay, there's too many people who
are pro umbrella. They go out umbrella up the streets.
It's a hazard for your eyes, especially when it's a
CBD or something like that. If you're just walking the
dog on the street and there's no one else around, fine,
no eyes getting poked out. When I was in Japan,
(00:21):
and I'm gonna be honestly, I'm huge. In Japan, it's
to all wise and it was raining a lot, and
they love a good umbrella. Mate. I had to walk
around with safety ppe ppe on.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Also, it's such an eck as well when the umbrella
goes like the upside down way where it's too windy
and you're like you're wrestling with an umbrella. I'm like,
I don't want that, I know.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I just think they're stupid.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I agree, do Welcome back to Two Doing Dads. I'm
Maddie J. Mash and this is a podcast all about parenting.
(01:02):
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
And one thing we will never do, not even if
our life depended on it, is give advice.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Here's some advice. Don't take your umbrella out of your suburb.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I did when I parked the car. The second I
got out of the car, I shut the door locked
the car started raining pretty heavy.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Here's a question for you, please, if you're if it's raining,
do you run or do you walk? Do you think
you get more wet if you run?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I think that's I know scientists have done experiments to
say that it doesn't make it makes a difference. But
I'm more time in the rain equals more wet.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Sure, but if you're running, the rain hits you faster.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
As those scientists are idiots. But then the hard thing
was at a satchel. How do you run with the satchel?
Do you like put it over the shoulder or do
you run with it?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What do you Indiana Jones?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
What do you mean alright? When you're running? When I
was I was galloping, you chuck it over the shoulder, shoulder,
I had it, I had it in front, or you
could hold it above you look an umbrella that.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Your laptop.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
That's disgusting the weather right now. It's causing a lot
of stress in her household mate, Nana. And for those
of you who do not know my beautiful mum slash
Nana do the kids. She lives with us. I keep
forgetting how long it's been two years? Ash shut up?
Two years. So Mum retired as a teacher and I
was like, ba bah blah blah blah bla, before you
(02:19):
get too comfortable, get back to work, get into the laundry.
Here's the laundry schedule.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
It's in the same room as the bathroom and where
the cat shits enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
So she wanted to spend more time with the kids
and I needed some help around the house. It was
a perfect situation.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Could she have to do my laundry it'll cost you.
April does love doing a load laundry. She just finds
things I wouldn't want Nana to get in the way of.
April caught her dirty and clothes on purpose so she
can wash them. What this is a rascal.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I want April at my house.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I want Nana at mine.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Nana is freaking the fuck out right. It's just rain
Nana because one of the biggest jobs it's on her
to do list day is to work through the washing.
I don't make her do this. I don't know. I
want to see like I try and get to the washing,
and then by the time I get there, she's already
put a load on and I'm like, Na, she's quick.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
She don't want to get yelled at by you.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
If the laundry baskets more than half full, I'm like,
come here, la, fucking you'll have to do it by hand.
She wakes up at like four in the morning. At
the moment, that's just her age, that's that's exactly. And
so the time I wake up, she's onto the chores.
But the issue is nothing is drying ash. And so
Nana was like pacing up and down and I was like, man,
(03:39):
what's wrong. It's okay, what's wrong. We can talk through this.
And she was like, what need you to put a
stop to the washing? No more washing from this moment on.
And I was like, of course, like sure, wear the
same thing every day. We can do that. And then
Poppy did a poonami fucking all through a onesie like everywhere,
so I know I want to watch that. It was
a nice outfit, was and then I put the washing
(04:01):
machine on and Nana was like, what happened? There no Washsione?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Who did that?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
And like Nana, she did a pooh okay, So I'm
just washing that on it so and I can put
that in the dryer.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And she was like.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Freaking out, like the laundry lines already fallen, nothing stragons
till weather, so much moistured picture living.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Do you know do you have ceiling fans in your plays?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
No ceiling fans? Actually no, sorry I lied to you.
Just then we have two yes stairs my room and a.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Little clothes horse and put them under the ceiling fan.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I don't want the clothes. I don't want that.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Na.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
The clothes aren't allowed inside unless they're being worn or
in a nice drawer.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
If we do that, then it'll never leave. It'll it'll,
you know, once it's inside.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I can't think it's an outing for the clothes to
be outside. Look at them out there and joy them.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
So we have like that little overhang out of the
living room. It's under cover. It's fine.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It's a minefield, it's a mind.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
But I'm worried about I left home and like, are
you going to be okay?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Rocking? It's like so.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Much washing, so little time, so much moisture. She could
just move out. I've said that. It pains me to
say this.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
No it doesn't gone.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
But I'll be the bigger man. I've always been very
gracious in victory, when gracious in defeat. Also, I think
it's important to you and neither of those things well rounded.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
You're like Oscar, thank you, just so competitive. If your
team knew how to tackle properly, you wouldn't be in
this mess.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay, we are, of course talking about State of Origin
Game one Wales last. No we won, oh yes, sorry,
Even even subconsciously, I'm like, they suck.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I think if pong it doesn't go off, we don't,
we don't win.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Well, I just want to say, look, congratulations and also
congratulations to Tash who won the competition. They were lovely
were they just adorable with.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's the perfect guests.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Although although I did say I was like, how long
you be listening to the podcast? And she was like, ages,
I love it every episode. I can't get enough.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
She knows what's saying.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And then the hobby was like, yeah, I don't think
she's listened. She just enters competitions online.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh yeah, she's a serial and competition and but yeah,
we can't screen that stuff. Hopefully we've gained two new listeners.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Three.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
She brought the brother Ash I think it's important that
the Queensland fans who may be listening they hear my cry. Yes,
we must migrate to Melbourne for game to show up
in force.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
A lot of Melbourne, a lot of Melbourneites call them
are Queensland fans because of the Big Three that were
played for Melbourne on the weekend. But then there happened
to be Queenslanders. So if you are in Melbourne and
you want to see a spectacle of a game, stuff
that AFL stuff, go State of Osion.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, we'll put the link in the show notes. But
follow me, follow me.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I want to go.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
We must reunite. Yeah I want to go as well.
We can't both go. We'll figure out who get tickets
later on. Anyway, what else is? What else is new.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Studio looking good? Paints on, paint is on. I spent
tireless hours last week did credit and credit to Ash.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And I don't know if people know this, but you
were once a painter. I was a professional painter. Professionals
and vic painting in front of Ash. He was like, okay, yeah,
you're holding it wrong. I'm a control free let's pressure.
I was like, this would be fun. Ash was just
whipping me smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
He spent most of time on the phone.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I took a couple of phone calls.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
He took a scheduled call, and then I reckon. He
said his alarm, and he was like, oh surprise.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Another phone call. Oh this is so inconvenient, just quickly
take it. And I was like okay.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And by the time he'd taken that phone call and
come back, I had finished.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
The place was packed up.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
It was all like a clean roll that wall and like,
done it?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Should I roll that wall? Done it? What about cut up?
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Done it?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Mate?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You've been on the phone for hours. I'm sorry. Hey,
I'm doing business deals for this podcast, was it? No,
it's myself the house. I'm just slaving away. So you
may have watched a couple of videos that we put
on socials. I was editing last night and I was
going through the footage. Beautiful footage, beautiful Dan, your beautiful husband, beautiful,
(08:15):
great great man, great man.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Technically not my husband.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Oh shit, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
We should make that happen.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Actually we didn't talk Dan about that.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
We need to make that happen. Can we marry you?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Podcast wedding?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Shut up and write it down? Quick question? Do you
want to get married. Okay, you hear that, Dan?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Dan said I've got to wait nine years?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Fair? What four ten?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Your engagement? Apparently?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Where are we at?
Speaker 3 (08:39):
I think we're probably about eight almost there.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Close, we'll get there. But there's the type of way
of talking when you're on site and I'm talking not
talking about me, I'm talking about Dan and I'm talking
about ass.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Shut up to I've heard it too.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Can I just play you a little video? And this
is I was editing it and I was just like, wow,
this is one thing that it just keeps coming up,
like certain terminology. It's hard to pick, but let me
just play your little video.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
There's a difference between two and hage three.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
So what's two one two one?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, that's nice ceiling which is two seven and then
these two are two to one and I was like,
that's three hundred.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
To seven.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Three six? What's that?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Now?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's is that pret meany too?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I would just yet drop it down to two seven.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Five fours.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Finished fifty. I was trying to impress two inches eighty
seven sheet four inches from the ceiling twelve minutes apart.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
All right, there are two fours number two.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I was trying to impress Dwan. Okay, is he talking
about me? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Yeah, he's obsessed with both of you. Actually me more
though a lot of numbers in there.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I'm a numbers guy. Yeah. Do you understand any of that?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
You missed the bit where I say they measured himber
in in lots of three remembers it that maybe we
didn't have a record, But that was a fucking classic line.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I went through three hours of footage.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
You didn't have to paint the place.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It's very good, very good.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
You know, sometimes you got to step back into the
trading life, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Is that what it was like on site when you're
a painter.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
No, it was more like in the timberyard that one.
Because when you're in the timbyard, obviously you're selling timber
all day and you're talking timber al day two, someone
be like, what's this? And I've got a piece of
wood in the classic line is it's tree wood that
usually get the usually.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Get the The other one is Mills, Mills.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Inches inches is very old school where people I just
need a couple of Fourer twos. Now that's not even
forty five.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
The inches threw me when I started talking, I was like,
what are we doing? What what measuring system? Metric system?
What are we I could keep up?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
We changed up.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It was like Ashton Dan walking like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Mills inches, and I was like.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Where are we here too, guys, let's be a part
of your I was like.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I've got four leaders and they're like, is he still here?
Take a fucking phone call anybody hungry? But the studio
is is close. It's close, guys, and.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
You Dan did a really, really really good job on
the walls, by the way.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Did a great job also, so good in fact, I
stole him. Yeah, you fuck up?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So how's this right? Hang on a sec?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Whoa I've forgotten I remember.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I rang Matt, no answer, Ring Matt, Matt, no answer.
Matt calls me back. I'm on the way to the
studio to get the studio ready so that we can
move in there and record. And I'm like, he calls
me back, and what are you doing? You're like nothing suspicious.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
And then to Dan, I was like, should be quiet,
be going to them, don't make a noise. He goes
just he was like three two's.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Dance here, Dan. I was like, straight, white can dance
here at my house?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
I said, I invited him over for a playdate.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, so instead of helping, instead of helping me, he's
at home doing home Reno's on his plate.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
And taking the help with him. And I charged it
back to two hours and I'm slaving away sweat.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I even had April in there because I was I
really need a hand, but Matt's busy. I don't know
where he is.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
April's gonna fucking hate me.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
And then I told April, I said, guess where Matt
was today. She's like where I was at home with Dan.
She's like, Dan, who's that? I was like, Dan, Dan
the Chippy, My Dan, My Damn Dan.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And I was like, fuck, what the hell? So I'm
glad that your house is in living order. Can I
just say that it was the fence that fell down
in the storm last year, the Great Storm of twenty
twenty five. Yeah, but Ronda's wall.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Everyone is dead.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Now you've got a big backyard. So the fence was
half fixed because the brick had snapped, and we were
told one guy was like, this is going to be
It's a big job, this one. Three days at least.
We were quoted a lot of money. Dan did it
in like three hours. I went to the toilet, came
back and it was done, just like just like when
you were trying to help me as your alarm goes off,
(13:02):
Bye bye bye, sou house. Hell, he was very good, Nana,
big fan.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Ah, you'd be careful about that.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I would be very careful.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Down.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
She was like, I need a little help with something
in my bedroom. Down and he was like, I've got
to shoot off, and she was like, come back again
next time.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, yeah. Those who went to.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
The Lair of Nana that don't come out.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, I had a crevice joke in this somewhere, but
I'm like, I'll leave it out, probably for the best.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I just want to say a big thanks to Dan
for the work that he's done at the studio and
also my backyard. I'm going to get it back for
some more work.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Great, he needs work.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Maybe he can come to the studio.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Can I ask? I gave him a little I didn't
want to be the social media guy. And when he's working,
I was like, I'm just digging some photos. He'd like,
bend over and turn around. I'm like, do that again.
Did he get any nibbles?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
He did?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, he did.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Yeah, he got lots of followers and a couple of
inquiry inquiries.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, I'm quitting.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
No, he was very grateful. I got to say, I'm
a little bit biased, but Dan is a very genuine builder.
He's like, does what he says is going to do.
He always finishes on time, if not earlier. He charges
the amount that it should be charged.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
He's a unicorn.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, and I tell him he should be judging way
more because.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
After he does that go off.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
But I hear horror stories from my friends about dodgy builders,
builders that harass people, Builders who triple their quote because
they see it's a female builders who are asking like,
where's your husband? So I can talk to him about it,
triple the.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Quote because their influencer. And I'm like, what about us,
We're being hot done by as well.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah, And one of my friends told me this awful
story recently, and she happens to be a web designer,
and so she has created a website. It's a directory
for builders and women can go on there and recommend builders, trades, lawyers, brokers, anything, podcasters.
Because it's not really a service.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Oh yes, this is how dare you?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I'm providing a service because it's so easy.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I think builders and mechanics and like not to rural
doctors because you can't question because you don't have the
knowledge right, So they can be like, oh, these two
by fours are bloody expensive, and you're just like, ah,
I guess they are. So you can be taken for
a ride by someone who's dishonest, especially.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
If you don't have time to do your due diligence,
which a lot of the time busy mums don't.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yeah, but also like you know, there's lots of single
mums out there, and you know these people come into
your home. You're in a very vulnerable situation. You want
to know there's someone coming into your space that you
can trust and who's not going to rip you off,
and who's going to finish on time, and who's not
going to treat you hasn't hurt.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
If they're very handsome.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You into a dating show, there's dating show vibes. It's
like I need something fixed. Here's a bunch of lgible
bachelor tradees. They come in, they put their price forward,
they put the work forward to what they're going to do,
and then she decides and then instead of just doing
the work, and then they get down to doing the
real work on the work.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Don't take the high come down here with us. It's
nice and okay, but what's the website called.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So the website is called her next Village dot com
dot au, and she really wants women to go on
there and actually put on recommendations. So it's not just
for you to access the full directory. She wants people
to get on there and start recommending other trades. People
who you would recommend to your friend for example, that
is someone who can be safe, reliable and courteous.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What do you call it? Crowdsourcing?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Is that what you call it?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Where it's like like you suggest someone us instead of
it being like marketed, that's like word of mouth crowds
Is that what it's called crowdsourcing?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I would say crowdsourcing the source from the crowd, That's
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
I guess so, But I mean everyone loves a recommendation.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Right right, Yeah, also recommend this podcast. We should recommend
ashes a painter on there.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
No, okay, well you'll find Dan on this there you go.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I'll do it with Dan two shirtless trades.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Okay, moving right along, speaking of laundry as well, ash
when I was talking about Nana having a little freak
out before I did something which I haven't owned up
to it yet to Laura or Nana, but I'll own
up to it here to the Dotors and to you
and Vic.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
That's healthy.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
So Lola loves a little glass of milk after dinner.
Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, so I
poured her a glass. She's very clumsy. She's always falling over,
always dropping things. I look over and she's like upsy
daisy cups. She's like oops. Literally, milk is everywhere, and
I'm like, I grab a teatowel, clean up of the milk,
(17:57):
and I just instinctively put the tea into the laundry basket.
And then two days later. Laura's got a very sensitive schnantz.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Like a bloodhound.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Oh she's yeah, she can. She's like, there's mold here.
That's like my mom, it's weird. And she was like,
there's there's a smell, and she was like in the kitchen,
She's like it's around here. She's like something, I think
Buster has done a pooh maybe She's like I can't quite.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
She was trying to like go through anytime. My mom
does that around me. She's like, there's a smell. I
always say it's your top lip that usually shouts right up.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
So Laura's like, there's a there's a smell. And then
we thought maybe Buster had done a shit somewhere because
he's still shipping like every second day.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
He's getting old and busses like it wasn't me.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And then Laura was sniffing around went to the laundry,
which is the bathroom in our household with those wondering,
and she was like, it's in here and she was like,
where is it the toilet? Yeah, I was like maybe
or the cat, the kitty litters in there. So she's like,
maybe there's like a hidden shit somewhere. She is a
multi purpose room. It's yeah, I sleep in that sometimes,
(18:55):
and everyone and Nana was in on the sniffing and
we're like what, like what is everyone is sniff The
kids were like, what the fuck's going on? Can we play? Yeah?
And I was like, oh, guys, I think it might
have just been like, you know, like one of Poppies
onesies that was a bit dirty's like open the window,
cracking window air eight every fine. And then I went
to work and I came home and Nana was like,
(19:16):
I guess what it was, Just like there was a
tea towl that just was rancid, and I was like,
oh god. She was like, I had to disinfect the
whole laundry basket, the plastic laundry basket. It stunk so bad.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
And by this stage it's too late for you to confess.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Like I couldn't. I couldn't. I was like it was
the nanny. Must must have been her. I think she's
done that.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So a little PSA to anyone out there who cleans
up milk with a tea towel. You gotta wash it
straight away, but people.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Might not know that it stinks when it dries, and
it's got very distinct.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Stink milk, sour milk. How can something so delicious turn
so bad so quickly?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
That's usually how it works, right, Usually the sweeter thing
for men and ough milk. It's cruel bees, it's a
bad smell, it's a stink Matt. The time is upon us.
The month that is Oscar and Marley's birthday, Oscar's first,
his fourteenth, fourteenth birthday.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Did I get it right?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
It's on the fourteenth but he's not fourteen.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yeah, and I said that he said his fourteenth I
fuck off.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I did play the fourteenth of June playback playback a
tape and I saw her in the Facebook group that
someone used the YouTube video I did with Andy Cooks
for their birthday cake. I forgot about that, but you
know with that, I made the cake up at Andy's
place when he lived on the Sunny Coast. But this
year we're having a soccer teen birthday. Big surprise.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Just quickly, what was the cake you made with Andy?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
It was a big red train and a car would
do a separate one, right, And I.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Just think the irony the one that there were parents
out there looking for help with how to make a
birthday cake and guy, the person who has been so
anti birthday parties for so long, ends up being the savior.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Who's also currently looking for someone to help me make
a cake. My message Andy and I was like, Hey,
it's Oscar's birthday. Can you help me make a Ronaldo cake?
And he was like, yeah, I'd love to do it,
but he's away that week and I can't. How long
can you keep a cake for a week? It's too long? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And I was like, ah, don't question me.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
No, No, that's too long, But don't question.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
You can leave it in the freezer.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, wouldn't it go dry?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Who am I? I know everything about cake? Who has
that kind of space in the freezer? Actually, you've got
a garage freezer.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Don't you? No, I have a I used to the
one I used to use as an ice bath. Must
be nice. It was fifty bucks on marketplace. You know
what marketplaces. It's on Facebook where people still use things.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I'll take your word for it. Do the use caviar
on now? They don't.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I'm not interested. So I'm in the market for someone
who could help me with a cake.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
What's the damage on the cake? On a Ronaldo Replicas?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
He's from Portugal.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, I apologize.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I just don't want you to get in trouble with
the fair enough with the Spanish and Portuguese speaking community.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
How is your Portuguese going?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
By the way, duel Lingo is not happy with me. Look,
other things have come up, Okay, don't question me. Start
For those of you who don't know, learning Portuguese was
one of my news resolutions.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
But the year is still going.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So I could still do it plenty of time I started,
just got to finish it.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You would just get to the end of the year
and just cramm in twelve miles at doing that. I'll
come here January first and I'll just so you gonta
do a soccer theme, but don't do a soccer.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Theme birthday cake. So if anyone out there, if you've
got any suggestions.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Can I just ask? Will you do it at a park?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
You at home? Nah, there's a venue. We're actually doing
a venue that actually take care of the whole lot
to drop and go stitch. Not for me obviously, which
sucks because it was like it's going to be dropping go.
I'm like, yeah, it's not for you.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I saw your little post little carousel. When is it
the soccer game and you're like all the kids running
after you.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Oh yeah that was I made a mistake. That was
a big mistake. So at the end of the game
that everyone gets a snake, right, like a lily snake,
And it was my job to hand out this snakes.
This week, I was like opening up where they were,
you know, the coaches were doing the thing. The kids
all locked eyes on me because they're allowed to come
to me until they finished that and I thought, you know,
I'm going to do on a fucking run with two
bags of snakes and see what happened? They just like
(23:13):
there were tears.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Like moths to the flame.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Mate.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I got absolutely tackled by these kids. Someone stole the
packet from me. There was kids crying. It was like
a war zone and everyone's like, Ash, you've done enough,
You've done enough. And I was like, thankfully I've got
more and I hadn't more. Lot like to all the
kids that were crying that thought they missed.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Well what you posted looked really wholesome and great. That
was the start. You cut out the tears. Oh can
I just ask what's your thoughts on the community hall
for Marley's birthday party? We're currently looking for a hall.
Don't do it at home because the house get trashed
for a couple hours. Community hall. What do you think
is a fair price to hire it depends.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
There's one down in Bayvy for an example. A friend
of mine used it as a backup for a wedding
if has it rained, but we end up doing photoshit
there they had it. They hired it out for the
whole day. Undred bucks.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah, I reckon a hundred bucks are free.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I'm getting ripped off in Bondai. There's your answer, bro,
Guess guess how much it is for a couple of
hours in bond You to give up your first born
child to use it for the community hall?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Wait? Can I just ask? Is it because it's in
Bondi or is it because they've seen your name?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
No, it's just the pavilion. It's just an iceberg. I
don't understand.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
It's only so many times I can laugh at myself,
and it should be all the time. Four hundred bucks wow, yeah,
plus two fifty security deposit as well, on top of
which you get back. But it's not like it's a
it's a nice little place.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
It's it's in Bonda, in the heart of Bondai.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Is it the pavilion? No?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I did look at the pavillion.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
I actually think the pavilion would be cheaper.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It's an old building, it's you know, it's a very
community of them to be lending in.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
I was like, fuck, that's daylight robbery.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, don't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
That's honestly, that's the same price as if you went
to like bounce.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
How is this sorry, they know they've saw you come in.
The people are paying it. We need to bongo. We
need to stand up and fight the injustice.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
There's a kindy at where my old suburb used to
live that you can actually on the weekend, you can
actually pay an Holi rate to use the kindy for
parties which has so it has the whole bit and
it has like a full kindy playground and everything like that.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Maybe I'll have the party over in Northern Beaches. Yeah, come.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Join us.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
You like it over here? It will.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
I jeez, quieter friend, Yeah, less tourists.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Less tourists is a cave. We've got some of the best.
I can't refinish.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
The sentence camea at Berts.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Where are you eating like birds? But what the fuck
is Bert? Where's I'm too busy house?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
It's very fancy.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, never been champagne? It must be nice.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
But this is some love dogs a special occasions.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yeah, I suppose special occasions, but like I'm not, I
prefer I'm more of a quantity than a quality eater.
I prefer quantity over quality.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
So someone's like here, we can tell fuck you that
is mean.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Let's move on.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
That is so mean to feed my honor, don't mean
vulnerable drink breaking newsick.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
New research has uncovered the damaging effects of snoring on
partners over time.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Storing on them, waiting on a minute the top of it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I didn't consent into this.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
That would be awful, the effects of snoring on partners.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
It's not really the effects snoring has on partners, not
the effects snoring on your partner.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Okay, aprils like, please get on me?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Oh my god? Am I ever going to get breaking?
Snoring on the Research out of the US reveals chronic
snoring and men may rob women of up to four
years of the rest of their lives. How dare you
someone who has to live with a snorer to kill?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I don't know what I want to know what you're in.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
On me? Anyway?
Speaker 4 (27:48):
The constant nighttime disruptions, Oh, I'm sweaty, go on.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
The constant nighttime disruptions have led to an increase in
couples choosing sleep divorce, with their partners opting to sleep
in separate rooms to avoid actual divorce.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
I'm into that.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
After last night, I am too well?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
What happened last night? He was over the tod of me?
Does he has he tried to have his Is it
called like sleep apnea?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Is you look like you're in a fighter jet.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I'm pretty sure he has it, but we've never got tested.
But I have even brought those like nose only ised
it once, but work it's sort of did I haven't
done it properly because you've got to have like a
super clean face and it's got to be like but
Louis came into our bed last night, and then once
he came in, then Dan was snoring and I just
can't get back to sleep, and so then I went
(28:43):
into Lily's bed. I couldn't get a sleep. They went
to the couch and I was like playing musical beds
last night.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
You can still hear down from the living room, just
like having the best.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Deepest sleep of his life.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
It's an insult, that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
It feels like the most selfish thing at the time.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
He's one for you, right. I went back when I
was in my twenties or something. I went and was
stayed at a hostel with a mate and didn't realize
how bad of a snort It was like a fucking
train was in the hallway in the same room. So
much so that I bought a whole nother room that
middle of the night at a hostel to get away
from it, to get it one. It cost me three
(29:18):
hundred bucks for one night to stay.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
In a I was I can't do and I was
in your head, you can't get it out, And I swear.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I could hear him from the other room.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
It was just in my head.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I just want to remind you you did say boohoo.
Who cares?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That was a joke, man. So what usually happens is
when I when people when I when we joke, people laugh.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying, do you want
to have it?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You call me fat bro?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
So you shut up. You just shut up. I called
a joke. We'll take all this out lived.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
But yeah, I told Dan he's on the cash light fair.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
It's quite We don't have an extra room, so you
get very defensive.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
So occasionally it's like you don't have an extra room,
I have an extra house.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Saying that you laughing just encourages it. Vic Okay, So
you guys, I make a joke and everyone's like, how
dare you to pour a little ashy look at you?
And then the moments jokes like fucking loser. That's what
it feels like.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
If that's you know that when I drive home crying,
it's because of your laughter that echoes in my head.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
He'll be wiping tears with his cash.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
That's I just want you guys to know that.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Are you a snoring Matt?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Uh, Matt, shut up, Ash, I'm trying to think you're
an elbower.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I elbow if you still pillow, if I'm I'm a good.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Guy because you guys have yeah, yeah we didn't.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
We don't think we snored that. Now. I if I'm
on my back, I'll snore and Laura will have to
wake me up and go, you're snoring, and I get
very defensive. I'm like, no, not, I'm and do so
and that all no, and.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
That's your knowing. And even last night, like it got
to the point where it was like like so soft,
but because I was so hyper sensitive, I was.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Like, get definitely started doing that cute snore. It's like
when Macy snows, like.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It's so cute.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
But if she was an adult, like shut up, speaking
of Macy, Matt. She took a tumble and it was
really sad. Actually, the circumstances were even sadder last me.
It's been raining on and off a lot Insidney of late.
So we had a break in the rain. Like, I
got to get these kids out. You know what it's
like when the kids are stuck. They're just fair and
everyone's into each other's it's just so overwhelming all the
(31:39):
time when they're trying to do outside things inside because
they don't understand anyway. So breaking the rain perfect, let's
get out scooters. April was asleep on the couch.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
It's slipping on the scooter. Yeah, we'll just like, we'll just.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Go in the pass near home and they're pretty flat
and pretty straight and like, at least I can burn
a bit of energy or even if like they want
to go and jump into puddles, so we can come
back for a nice hot shower, just something, Okay, So
we went a scooter ride, both kids on the scooter.
The path at the back of my place that goes
along the wetlands. It's up and back. Perfect, it's like
a kilometer apple wizards. It's a bit too wet. They're
(32:11):
cold blooded, so there's no sun out. They weren't interested.
We were out there.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Shame.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
He's a shame anyway. So I'm on the electric bike
behind them, and the kids were in front, and they're
scootering up having a great time. They're just happy to
be out of the house, so happy to be out
of the house. Coming back, we've come to where we
turn off to either go home or there's like fifty
meters up the path is a little playground and it
still wasn't raining. So Macy was like, can we go
(32:35):
to the park?
Speaker 2 (32:36):
And I was like, yeah, can we go to the park.
He's like, yeah, we haven't such good let's go to
the park. Yeah, let's keep this good thing going.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah, let's get We were turned to take off, take off,
Makesy hits a crack on a scooter over the handlebars
on her scooter. She got the helmet on, thankfully, but
she was like she salmmoned. She's in the air and
she's just like looking at you being like, yes, the
hangtime was amazing.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
She's like, please help me. Daddy's fall. It was all
slow motion to me, and she's like, and the poor thing.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
She's just she's so clumsy as well, and she just thudded.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
She was just a thud like onto the concrete. She's
like and just like, as you can imagine, I thought
you're gonna do the thing where you're like, I didn't
see that. She knows I'm not looking at her. She
won't cry.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
This was a definite cryer. She has gone over the
andlebars full salmon didn't stop her fall like that. Like
I said, generat she was fine grays on the elbow.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Dn man.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
So anyway, I was like, fuck, get home.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
She's hysterical, Get her home to try and clean her up,
get a band aid on whatever. Walk in. April's awake
because she was having a little nap and Macy. As
soon as she sees Mum, she burst into tears again,
as it happens anyway. So I get the box of
band aids out and I give it to April and
I go sort out what I was just doing. Bring
I had to Meanwhile, I had to try and carry
all the scooters back and put everything away back in
(33:53):
the garage and came back up. She's got a band aid.
I'm like, great, big one. She's like still sobbing, really
sad like, and I'm like, hey, like what kept going?
She kept crying, kept crying, like fuck, what's going on here?
And I was like to Abylon, I'm like, did you
like clean clean the wound or anything? Because she's landed
on the mossy concrete, she's scraped up. It's probably got
(34:14):
some germs in there right, which are probably irritating this
this scratch. She's just band aided over the top to
try and shut her up.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
I would have gone over the top as well.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
And I was like, I was like, now we're going
to pull the band aid off because she's still you
can tell she's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
You wanted to under the band aida because.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
I wanted to get in and clean it properly. And
Macy was like no, no, And I'm like, I get it,
I feel it. Why don't we have a hot shower
loosened up the skin? But she's like, no, I'm just
going to do it. Okay, So she's she's ripped it off.
That's an audio.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
That's pretty bold behavior from you.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
I thought I've had enough scrape since and stuff in
my life. It's like the quickie clean it the bed.
It's going to be tomorrow, That's what I'm thinking about.
All right, let's get it off. Let's what just wipe
anything and I open up and it's got like grass
particles and all sorts of things in there. And yeah
there's headlines in there, nails.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Get in there.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I like, wiped it off, got the better thing, and
I found like a big square bandage. I stick down the.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Hospital and your household. You got everything.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I know.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
I got all these first aid kids on where the
these first aid kids come from. It's like they've been
there for ages, And I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Sometimes the kids don't want the big band aid.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Well it's not a band aid. This was just a
square like gauze. You got GOLs in my house. We've
got guse money.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Scuffle. Yeah, we don't have paper towels in our house.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
It's just fucking gauze.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Wiping the bench with gaus. It's good gear, it's multi use.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Cutler is just scalpels and tong Yeah, but she was pumped.
She got the big You know, think about how pumped
kids are with a band aid whip out some gaus
off their hair.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Kids don't like it aids anti gaus. Oh, they don't
like gauze like that, what's wrong with it? They just
want they want the pretty Disney like every I'm like,
this is a pretty deep guy.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Gotta be the best marketing tool ever that has to
go up there with any product you have to put
up there, putting a character.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
On a band aid? Can we just put some characters
on grs to do dads?
Speaker 1 (36:21):
We looked at doing band aid days, remember, but it
was like, hows more for the parents? Be like, I
need a band to put a man of Jay on
my arm? Anyway, So Macy's pumped about the gauze. Okay,
so I've put some bed than on it stung a
little bit, but she's so fucking brave. I kept telling her.
And then I was like, all right, so I put
some medical tape around it. I got that too, got
(36:44):
it all. And then I found like a proper bandage
that was like rolled up, and I was like, how
about this. How about we put a bandage over it,
and I like masking taped it.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
So it was like an Oscar's like when I cut myself.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I just get to shut up, Yeah, get out because
he's a drag. Makes she's so sad, and You're like,
I've got a wheelchair.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Do you want that as well? Anyway, So we put that.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
We wrapped her armorh like she'd broken it and put
the put some tape around it, and we all signed
it for her and stuff like. She was so proud
of it like this. She was like can I She
was like, can I leave this on and take it
to Kindy? They want to show everyone anyway.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
So I was like, no, you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
So I undid it.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You wouldn't let it take it to Kindy. I did,
but before she.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Went to Bezi had another shower. We took that one
off and I redressed it. I said, look, in the morning,
we'll put the bandage back on it and resign it
so you can go in. So she went in the
next day and she was like full bandage up. And
when I walked in with Kindy, she was like, she's
just walking around like this like it was a badge
of honor for me. But anyway, held up nicely and
(37:47):
no infections or anything like that. But it was just
sad to watch her salmon over the top of a handlebar.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
A four year old girl derails a day quicker than
a little gray And.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
The thing was so happy to go to the pike,
like pumped, like yes, finally, just to be brought back
down to earth literally we used to always go on
the on the bike to school.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
It's not that far, so she's like a kilometer. And
now the girls love going on the scooter and I
follow it like you on the bike, and I'm always like,
slow down, put on the brag.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
She gets the death wobbles.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
She just it's like and heading into a road and
I'm like, no one crossed the fucking road. I go
first across the roads and they are flying down the hill,
wabbling all over the place, and I'm like, this is it.
I'm gonna watch my child either whip out or get
taken out by the fucking stress.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Macy tries to keep up with Oscar Oh, and she's
like but the thing is that she's looking back.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
At me, and I'm like I forward, I'm forward. And
then then.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
It's unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I love Lola. I love Lola, but any minor cut,
she can't walk, she can't move, she can't I can't
give her a bar.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Makes he's so.
Speaker 5 (39:01):
And she's like when whenever she runs anywhere, I'm like,
because she's like, I gave an injury to Lola that
she was keen to show off at school kids together, well.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Was oh and let me just defend myself a second.
So Lola, now that Pop is out of the bedroom,
Lola is in bed with us. She comes in every
night and she loves a cuddle, and I'm loving it
as well. Laura not so much because she's such a
light sleeper and she gets kicked by Lola. Lola could
like suffocate me, and I'd still just be like, yeah,
it's fine, I won't wake up. I'm like, I love it.
(39:37):
And I didn't realize. I had this dream that I
was like running somewhere the kid and I just I
whipped my hand with my ring in the lip, smacked
it right in the lip.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
When you're all in the middle of the NYE said, Lola's.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
There just like just you know, completely shook up. I'm
surprised the fact that she's been smacked in the faced
by your dad. I'm still like, oh, yeah, you're a
deep sleep snoring taking four years off Laura's life. And
then Laura is trying to comfort Lola, and I'm like,
what's what's going on? What happened? What's happened here? And
(40:15):
then I was like, again like defensive. When you get
told you're doing something in your sleep, I was like me,
I would never hit you. Here's my precious little Lola.
I would never in my drooms and Lola just cut
lip and she was like, can't wait to tell everyone
at school, and I was like, oh, fuck, please don't,
please don't.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
It's it's a hard one to explain. Like the other day,
Oscar ran at me from his room. I'm on the
couch right and I could tell you he's going to
run and jump, so I've gone to grab the pillow
and move the pillow so he could land safely. And
as you've done that, he's dived headfirst. He sammoned headfirst
into my fist. He literally head butted my fist, and
(40:55):
I was like, oh am, I gonna explain my way
out of.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
This one, Like I'm just I didn't hit my kid.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
He had butted my fucking fist, And was like, sure
he did, but anyway, thankfully no black eye.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
The other thing I do as well with Lola in bed,
I'm very tired in the morning. Ash I don't like
waking up at the best times. Lola wakes up at
like six o'clock very early, and she'll often wake up
and ask a couple of questions just to get her
bearings for the day. Where am I. Well, She's like,
is it a school day today? In my half awake,
half a sleep state, I was like, ah, no school today, No,
(41:33):
and she was like yes, and I like roll over
for back of sleep and Laura is like it is
a school day and I'm like, ah, whatever, And so
she's then crying because she's like, I don't want to
go to school. She can ask me fucking anything in
the morning and I'll just be like yeah. She's like,
can I get chocolate for breakfast?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
I'm like, just worked you out?
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Can I get the car keys? And I'm like, yeah,
take it. Park's on the left hand side.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
It's kind of like gospel, Yes, that not gone to school,
so good. And then it's like sorry and then Laura
is like what are you What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (42:02):
And I'm like what what's happened? And she's like, You've
just you said, Lola, take the car and get ice
cream for breakfast because there's no school today.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Severe memory line.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
I never said that, Yes, she didn't remember, and she's
bleeding at the same time.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Did you hit your child like that?
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Matt?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
Would you consider yourself a smart parent?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Except for the mornings when I misinform my beautiful children
or any question they asked me. I'm normally a pretty
smart guy.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Well, this segment is where our listeners.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Do you agree with me to say.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
This is a segment from our listeners actually where they
send in their little hacks how they've been a smart parent.
Hopefully we're can all learn from. And this segment is
brought to you by Aldi Aldi. Good different please, This
is from Rebecca give the kids their ice cream while
they're in the bathtub. They think it's the best fun
and it's so much easier to clean up. Genius. I
(43:04):
think like, if you're going all right, finish all your
dinner and you can have ice cream in the bath.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Do you think that Rebecca is putting the kids in
the bath with the water or no, okay, are you sure?
I don't know. Do you think she's putting the kids
in the bath fully dressed with the bowls to then
take the clothes off and then start the bath or
is the bath already full?
Speaker 1 (43:23):
We need to follow up, well, oh my gosh, the
bath is full.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
There's no such thing as a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
There is.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
And when we start an answer with oh my gosh,
and you sigh. It makes me feel like that is
a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Let me ask you this, would you like to eat
ice cream whilst in a jacuz?
Speaker 4 (43:42):
Yah?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
It melt quicker, wouldn't it.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
I think maybe a nice like mixture of temperatures.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Wouldn't you? Then have creamy water it's in a bowl.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
You're eating it in the bath tub, and she says, here,
and it's so much easier to clean up because there's water.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Although we have spoken about how milk gets quite stinky.
What if you spill it in the bath, the whole bath,
and then two days later someone's like, who's fucking sneaky?
Kids of these.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Goes down the train, but some of it's going to
get stuck to your poorous skin.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
It doesn't trust me. We do food in the bath
all the time.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
I'm beginning to think, Rebecca, is you.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
You made this up?
Speaker 3 (44:23):
No? But I didn't choose this one because I loved it.
Not only that the dots loved it, it got so
many likes from other people.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
You just said a.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Second ago, we eat a lot in the bathtub. Explain yourself.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
So when we do dinner, because and you guys know this, you're.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
All in the bath, naked, eating in bags, dinner, sausages.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Jesus. The kids take so long to have dinner sometimes
and sometimes to get them to eat faster, we're like,
you can have some dessert, and for us, dessert is
frozen berries, and frozen berries are really messy, and so
they can eat them in the bath. And then instead
of getting them everywhere, like all over the table, floor,
et cetera, it just falls in the bath or the
and like as soon as they're like berry fingers and
(45:14):
berry face gets it, like you.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
They are they just washing in berry water. No, no, no,
there's just ants all over them.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
No, it just helps cut the time out and then yeah,
it is kind of fun for them. It's easy to clean,
and it helps get them in the bath sooner because
they've got this carrot dangling in front of them.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Literally, it reminds me of the kids in the bar,
you know what talked about when you're like, you put
the plastic down the food.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Next it's going to be the bars full of food.
Kids get in you see A big fucking thing is
spaghetti and the kids in there washing under their arms
fucking chunks of meat.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
I once have done spaghetti in the bath with the kids.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Need to be stopped.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Never again. That is a mistake. But it just goes
down the drain, so then it's like you don't have
to clean instead of getting the.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Drain or the strainer, all the sources out.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
It's like quick in the past round will.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Say it the.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Dance in there eating the leftover.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
It's like it's a big fucking bowl. This is from Lorrie.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Laura.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
Laura l O r I l l okay, let's go
to Laura.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
When my kid is having a tantrum, I get the
TV remote and say I'm just going to pause this
for a moment, and he pauses because he thinks it's
funnier than the injustice of his issue. He pauses for
a few then I say, I think I'll just change
the channel to a comedy and animal documentary poor Patrol
Bluis and point at him and he will act out
(46:48):
a scene from the show or genre. All of a sudden,
the tantrum is over and we're having so much fun.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I like that. That's good.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Get although I don't mind a tan what if it's
in public taking a remote with a universal remote?
Speaker 2 (47:01):
I got confused for a second and I was like,
so he's watching TV the tantrums front the tea. So
he's having the tantrum.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
She points the remote at I want to watch a comedy.
I want to watch Bluie and then he starts acting
it out.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
I thought was next time I was yelling at me,
I'm going to try with her pause and then get yeah, pause,
no violence.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Sometimes when Laura is having a tantrum, I'm just like
some mute. Someone's got the grumpy the grumpies out and
I start squeezing. I'm like, oh, there's still something in there,
something there. And then I'm like just waiting for a
little chuckle and I'm like sometimes it doesn't come.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
The mood switch up is hard.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Just distraction with partners and works with both.
Speaker 4 (47:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
This one's from Sammy. Our car won't start unless everyone
has been to the toilet, has shoes on, and has
their water bottles.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
That's genius.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
That's great, that's just great.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Can I just that is yay? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Last one? That is just good parenting.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Jessica, great name, easy, run of the mill, that love it.
Thank you for the pick of Jessica.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, makes it much easier for us. It was like
one or Warwanda or something or something weird name I
can't pronounce.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Also shout out to all the rwandas. No one taught
Mummy how to play hide and seek, so if you
hide from me, you might be lost forever to the
kid that used to run and hide if you didn't
want to do something like go home from the park.
It works like a charm.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Yeah, I didn't have any hiders, although actually Macy once
we've got one of those little toy kitchens, and I
found her in the oven one time, but I couldn't
find her for ages. And then her head popped up
because it has like the oven entry, but then it
also doubles as the stove, which can take the stove off.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Did you fall asleep in there or no? No, I
was just like where.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
I couldn't get the shit out of me actually, and
then her head just popped up, and I was like,
thank god, that's like she's just in the kitchen, just
in the oven.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
She's just in the oven overall, founder she's in the oven.
I think these are so important to share with the
dough is because it makes them smarter parents. I love that,
But if you're also not just a smart parent, but
a smart shopper. Take the Aldi i Q test at
i q ali dot com dot you and find out
if you're a true grocery genius.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Aldi good different.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
We've got to get out of here.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
We do next week, Matt. We've got a great housekeeping episode.
We're gonna have all the doges of lemons in there.
It's not just going to be me crying.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Ah do we ever? We need to have like a
cry tally count to see who like at the end
of the year, it's going to cry.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Just keep it going, keep it going.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Yeah, I've done pretty well. I haven't cried in a while,
not that there's anything wrong with it is the day.
I've had a good run. But there's moneys that there's
those Monday those cry those Monday episodes just so good, good, credible.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
We've also got another favorite asked.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Oh yeah. We need you to comment on this episode,
either individual episodes on Spotify or on Two Doting Dads
as a whole on Apple podcast us, or follow us
or with the friend.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
You can follow us on socials, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube,
Two Doting Dads, or send us an email hello at
two Doting Dads dot com.
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Well said, let's get out here. Goodbye. Two Doting Dads.
(50:30):
Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and
the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island
the People's Today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land.
I'm anti umbrella. It's been a bit rainy. This is
the problem. I go, okay, there's too many people who
are pro umbrella. They go out umbrella up the streets.
It's a hazard for your eyes, especially when it's a
CBD or something like that. If you're just walking the
dog on the street and there's no one else around, fine,
no eyes getting poked out. When I was in Japan,
(00:21):
and I'm gonna be honestly, I'm huge. In Japan, it's
to all wise and it was raining a lot, and
they love a good umbrella. Mate. I had to walk
around with safety ppe ppe on.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Also, it's such an eck as well when the umbrella
goes like the upside down way where it's too windy
and you're like you're wrestling with an umbrella. I'm like,
I don't want that, I know.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I just think they're stupid.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I agree, do Welcome back to Two Doing Dads. I'm
Maddie J. Mash and this is a podcast all about parenting.
(01:02):
It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.
And one thing we will never do, not even if
our life depended on it, is give advice.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Here's some advice. Don't take your umbrella out of your suburb.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I did when I parked the car. The second I
got out of the car, I shut the door locked
the car started raining pretty heavy.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Here's a question for you, please, if you're if it's raining,
do you run or do you walk? Do you think
you get more wet if you run?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I think that's I know scientists have done experiments to
say that it doesn't make it makes a difference. But
I'm more time in the rain equals more wet.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Sure, but if you're running, the rain hits you faster.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
As those scientists are idiots. But then the hard thing
was at a satchel. How do you run with the satchel?
Do you like put it over the shoulder or do
you run with it?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What do you Indiana Jones?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
What do you mean alright? When you're running? When I
was I was galloping, you chuck it over the shoulder, shoulder,
I had it, I had it in front, or you
could hold it above you look an umbrella that.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Your laptop.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
That's disgusting the weather right now. It's causing a lot
of stress in her household mate, Nana. And for those
of you who do not know my beautiful mum slash
Nana do the kids. She lives with us. I keep
forgetting how long it's been two years? Ash shut up?
Two years. So Mum retired as a teacher and I
was like, ba bah blah blah blah bla, before you
(02:19):
get too comfortable, get back to work, get into the laundry.
Here's the laundry schedule.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
It's in the same room as the bathroom and where
the cat shits enjoyed.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
So she wanted to spend more time with the kids
and I needed some help around the house. It was
a perfect situation.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Could she have to do my laundry it'll cost you.
April does love doing a load laundry. She just finds
things I wouldn't want Nana to get in the way of.
April caught her dirty and clothes on purpose so she
can wash them. What this is a rascal.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
I want April at my house.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
I want Nana at mine.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Nana is freaking the fuck out right. It's just rain
Nana because one of the biggest jobs it's on her
to do list day is to work through the washing.
I don't make her do this. I don't know. I
want to see like I try and get to the washing,
and then by the time I get there, she's already
put a load on and I'm like, Na, she's quick.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
She don't want to get yelled at by you.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
If the laundry baskets more than half full, I'm like,
come here, la, fucking you'll have to do it by hand.
She wakes up at like four in the morning. At
the moment, that's just her age, that's that's exactly. And
so the time I wake up, she's onto the chores.
But the issue is nothing is drying ash. And so
Nana was like pacing up and down and I was like, man,
(03:39):
what's wrong. It's okay, what's wrong. We can talk through this.
And she was like, what need you to put a
stop to the washing? No more washing from this moment on.
And I was like, of course, like sure, wear the
same thing every day. We can do that. And then
Poppy did a poonami fucking all through a onesie like everywhere,
so I know I want to watch that. It was
a nice outfit, was and then I put the washing
(04:01):
machine on and Nana was like, what happened? There no Washsione?
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Who did that?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
And like Nana, she did a pooh okay, So I'm
just washing that on it so and I can put
that in the dryer.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And she was like.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Freaking out, like the laundry lines already fallen, nothing stragons
till weather, so much moistured picture living.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Do you know do you have ceiling fans in your plays?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
No ceiling fans? Actually no, sorry I lied to you.
Just then we have two yes stairs my room and a.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Little clothes horse and put them under the ceiling fan.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
I don't want the clothes. I don't want that.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Na.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
The clothes aren't allowed inside unless they're being worn or
in a nice drawer.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
If we do that, then it'll never leave. It'll it'll,
you know, once it's inside.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I can't think it's an outing for the clothes to
be outside. Look at them out there and joy them.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
So we have like that little overhang out of the
living room. It's under cover. It's fine.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
It's a minefield, it's a mind.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
But I'm worried about I left home and like, are
you going to be okay?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Rocking? It's like so.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Much washing, so little time, so much moisture. She could
just move out. I've said that. It pains me to
say this.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
No it doesn't gone.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
But I'll be the bigger man. I've always been very
gracious in victory, when gracious in defeat. Also, I think
it's important to you and neither of those things well rounded.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
You're like Oscar, thank you, just so competitive. If your
team knew how to tackle properly, you wouldn't be in
this mess.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Okay, we are, of course talking about State of Origin
Game one Wales last. No we won, oh yes, sorry,
Even even subconsciously, I'm like, they suck.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I think if pong it doesn't go off, we don't,
we don't win.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Well, I just want to say, look, congratulations and also
congratulations to Tash who won the competition. They were lovely
were they just adorable with.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's the perfect guests.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Although although I did say I was like, how long
you be listening to the podcast? And she was like, ages,
I love it every episode. I can't get enough.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
She knows what's saying.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And then the hobby was like, yeah, I don't think
she's listened. She just enters competitions online.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh yeah, she's a serial and competition and but yeah,
we can't screen that stuff. Hopefully we've gained two new listeners.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Three.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
She brought the brother Ash I think it's important that
the Queensland fans who may be listening they hear my cry. Yes,
we must migrate to Melbourne for game to show up
in force.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
A lot of Melbourne, a lot of Melbourneites call them
are Queensland fans because of the Big Three that were
played for Melbourne on the weekend. But then there happened
to be Queenslanders. So if you are in Melbourne and
you want to see a spectacle of a game, stuff
that AFL stuff, go State of Osion.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Yeah, we'll put the link in the show notes. But
follow me, follow me.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I want to go.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
We must reunite. Yeah I want to go as well.
We can't both go. We'll figure out who get tickets
later on. Anyway, what else is? What else is new.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Studio looking good? Paints on, paint is on. I spent
tireless hours last week did credit and credit to Ash.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And I don't know if people know this, but you
were once a painter. I was a professional painter. Professionals
and vic painting in front of Ash. He was like, okay, yeah,
you're holding it wrong. I'm a control free let's pressure.
I was like, this would be fun. Ash was just
whipping me smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
He spent most of time on the phone.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I took a couple of phone calls.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
He took a scheduled call, and then I reckon. He
said his alarm, and he was like, oh surprise.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Another phone call. Oh this is so inconvenient, just quickly
take it. And I was like okay.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And by the time he'd taken that phone call and
come back, I had finished.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
The place was packed up.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
It was all like a clean roll that wall and like,
done it?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Should I roll that wall? Done it? What about cut up?
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Done it?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Mate?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You've been on the phone for hours. I'm sorry. Hey,
I'm doing business deals for this podcast, was it? No,
it's myself the house. I'm just slaving away. So you
may have watched a couple of videos that we put
on socials. I was editing last night and I was
going through the footage. Beautiful footage, beautiful Dan, your beautiful husband, beautiful,
(08:15):
great great man, great man.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Technically not my husband.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Oh shit, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
We should make that happen.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Actually we didn't talk Dan about that.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
We need to make that happen. Can we marry you?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Podcast wedding?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Shut up and write it down? Quick question? Do you
want to get married. Okay, you hear that, Dan?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Dan said I've got to wait nine years?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Fair? What four ten?
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Your engagement? Apparently?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Where are we at?
Speaker 3 (08:39):
I think we're probably about eight almost there.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Close, we'll get there. But there's the type of way
of talking when you're on site and I'm talking not
talking about me, I'm talking about Dan and I'm talking
about ass.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Shut up to I've heard it too.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Can I just play you a little video? And this
is I was editing it and I was just like, wow,
this is one thing that it just keeps coming up,
like certain terminology. It's hard to pick, but let me
just play your little video.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
There's a difference between two and hage three.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
So what's two one two one?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Yeah, that's nice ceiling which is two seven and then
these two are two to one and I was like,
that's three hundred.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
To seven.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Three six? What's that?
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Now?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
That's is that pret meany too?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I would just yet drop it down to two seven.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Five fours.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Finished fifty. I was trying to impress two inches eighty
seven sheet four inches from the ceiling twelve minutes apart.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
All right, there are two fours number two.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I was trying to impress Dwan. Okay, is he talking
about me? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Yeah, he's obsessed with both of you. Actually me more
though a lot of numbers in there.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I'm a numbers guy. Yeah. Do you understand any of that?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
You missed the bit where I say they measured himber
in in lots of three remembers it that maybe we
didn't have a record, But that was a fucking classic line.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
I went through three hours of footage.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
You didn't have to paint the place.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It's very good, very good.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
You know, sometimes you got to step back into the
trading life, you know.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Is that what it was like on site when you're
a painter.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
No, it was more like in the timberyard that one.
Because when you're in the timbyard, obviously you're selling timber
all day and you're talking timber al day two, someone
be like, what's this? And I've got a piece of
wood in the classic line is it's tree wood that
usually get the usually.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Get the The other one is Mills, Mills.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Inches inches is very old school where people I just
need a couple of Fourer twos. Now that's not even
forty five.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
The inches threw me when I started talking, I was like,
what are we doing? What what measuring system? Metric system?
What are we I could keep up?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
We changed up.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
It was like Ashton Dan walking like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Mills inches, and I was like.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Where are we here too, guys, let's be a part
of your I was like.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I've got four leaders and they're like, is he still here?
Take a fucking phone call anybody hungry? But the studio
is is close. It's close, guys, and.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
You Dan did a really, really really good job on
the walls, by the way.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Did a great job also, so good in fact, I
stole him. Yeah, you fuck up?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
So how's this right? Hang on a sec?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Whoa I've forgotten I remember.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
I rang Matt, no answer, Ring Matt, Matt, no answer.
Matt calls me back. I'm on the way to the
studio to get the studio ready so that we can
move in there and record. And I'm like, he calls
me back, and what are you doing? You're like nothing suspicious.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
And then to Dan, I was like, should be quiet,
be going to them, don't make a noise. He goes
just he was like three two's.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Dance here, Dan. I was like, straight, white can dance
here at my house?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
I said, I invited him over for a playdate.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, so instead of helping, instead of helping me, he's
at home doing home Reno's on his plate.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
And taking the help with him. And I charged it
back to two hours and I'm slaving away sweat.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I even had April in there because I was I
really need a hand, but Matt's busy. I don't know
where he is.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
April's gonna fucking hate me.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
And then I told April, I said, guess where Matt
was today. She's like where I was at home with Dan.
She's like, Dan, who's that? I was like, Dan, Dan
the Chippy, My Dan, My Damn Dan.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And I was like, fuck, what the hell? So I'm
glad that your house is in living order. Can I
just say that it was the fence that fell down
in the storm last year, the Great Storm of twenty
twenty five. Yeah, but Ronda's wall.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Everyone is dead.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Now you've got a big backyard. So the fence was
half fixed because the brick had snapped, and we were
told one guy was like, this is going to be
It's a big job, this one. Three days at least.
We were quoted a lot of money. Dan did it
in like three hours. I went to the toilet, came
back and it was done, just like just like when
you were trying to help me as your alarm goes off,
(13:02):
Bye bye bye, sou house. Hell, he was very good, Nana,
big fan.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Ah, you'd be careful about that.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I would be very careful.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Down.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
She was like, I need a little help with something
in my bedroom. Down and he was like, I've got
to shoot off, and she was like, come back again
next time.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, yeah. Those who went to.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
The Lair of Nana that don't come out.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
Yeah, I had a crevice joke in this somewhere, but
I'm like, I'll leave it out, probably for the best.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I just want to say a big thanks to Dan
for the work that he's done at the studio and
also my backyard. I'm going to get it back for
some more work.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Great, he needs work.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Maybe he can come to the studio.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Can I ask? I gave him a little I didn't
want to be the social media guy. And when he's working,
I was like, I'm just digging some photos. He'd like,
bend over and turn around. I'm like, do that again.
Did he get any nibbles?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
He did?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, he did.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Yeah, he got lots of followers and a couple of
inquiry inquiries.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, I'm quitting.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
No, he was very grateful. I got to say, I'm
a little bit biased, but Dan is a very genuine builder.
He's like, does what he says is going to do.
He always finishes on time, if not earlier. He charges
the amount that it should be charged.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
He's a unicorn.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah, and I tell him he should be judging way
more because.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
After he does that go off.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
But I hear horror stories from my friends about dodgy builders,
builders that harass people, Builders who triple their quote because
they see it's a female builders who are asking like,
where's your husband? So I can talk to him about it,
triple the.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Quote because their influencer. And I'm like, what about us,
We're being hot done by as well.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Yeah, And one of my friends told me this awful
story recently, and she happens to be a web designer,
and so she has created a website. It's a directory
for builders and women can go on there and recommend builders, trades, lawyers, brokers, anything, podcasters.
Because it's not really a service.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Oh yes, this is how dare you?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I'm providing a service because it's so easy.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I think builders and mechanics and like not to rural
doctors because you can't question because you don't have the
knowledge right, So they can be like, oh, these two
by fours are bloody expensive, and you're just like, ah,
I guess they are. So you can be taken for
a ride by someone who's dishonest, especially.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
If you don't have time to do your due diligence,
which a lot of the time busy mums don't.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yeah, but also like you know, there's lots of single
mums out there, and you know these people come into
your home. You're in a very vulnerable situation. You want
to know there's someone coming into your space that you
can trust and who's not going to rip you off,
and who's going to finish on time, and who's not
going to treat you hasn't hurt.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
If they're very handsome.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You into a dating show, there's dating show vibes. It's
like I need something fixed. Here's a bunch of lgible
bachelor tradees. They come in, they put their price forward,
they put the work forward to what they're going to do,
and then she decides and then instead of just doing
the work, and then they get down to doing the
real work on the work.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Don't take the high come down here with us. It's
nice and okay, but what's the website called.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So the website is called her next Village dot com
dot au, and she really wants women to go on
there and actually put on recommendations. So it's not just
for you to access the full directory. She wants people
to get on there and start recommending other trades. People
who you would recommend to your friend for example, that
is someone who can be safe, reliable and courteous.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What do you call it? Crowdsourcing?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Is that what you call it?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Where it's like like you suggest someone us instead of
it being like marketed, that's like word of mouth crowds
Is that what it's called crowdsourcing?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
I would say crowdsourcing the source from the crowd, That's
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
I guess so, But I mean everyone loves a recommendation.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Right right, Yeah, also recommend this podcast. We should recommend
ashes a painter on there.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
No, okay, well you'll find Dan on this there you go.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I'll do it with Dan two shirtless trades.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Okay, moving right along, speaking of laundry as well, ash
when I was talking about Nana having a little freak
out before I did something which I haven't owned up
to it yet to Laura or Nana, but I'll own
up to it here to the Dotors and to you
and Vic.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
That's healthy.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
So Lola loves a little glass of milk after dinner.
Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, so I
poured her a glass. She's very clumsy. She's always falling over,
always dropping things. I look over and she's like upsy
daisy cups. She's like oops. Literally, milk is everywhere, and
I'm like, I grab a teatowel, clean up of the milk,
(17:57):
and I just instinctively put the tea into the laundry basket.
And then two days later. Laura's got a very sensitive schnantz.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Like a bloodhound.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Oh she's yeah, she can. She's like, there's mold here.
That's like my mom, it's weird. And she was like,
there's there's a smell, and she was like in the kitchen,
She's like it's around here. She's like something, I think
Buster has done a pooh maybe She's like I can't quite.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
She was trying to like go through anytime. My mom
does that around me. She's like, there's a smell. I
always say it's your top lip that usually shouts right up.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
So Laura's like, there's a there's a smell. And then
we thought maybe Buster had done a shit somewhere because
he's still shipping like every second day.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
He's getting old and busses like it wasn't me.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
And then Laura was sniffing around went to the laundry,
which is the bathroom in our household with those wondering,
and she was like, it's in here and she was like,
where is it the toilet? Yeah, I was like maybe
or the cat, the kitty litters in there. So she's like,
maybe there's like a hidden shit somewhere. She is a
multi purpose room. It's yeah, I sleep in that sometimes,
(18:55):
and everyone and Nana was in on the sniffing and
we're like what, like what is everyone is sniff The
kids were like, what the fuck's going on? Can we play? Yeah?
And I was like, oh, guys, I think it might
have just been like, you know, like one of Poppies
onesies that was a bit dirty's like open the window,
cracking window air eight every fine. And then I went
to work and I came home and Nana was like,
(19:16):
I guess what it was, Just like there was a
tea towl that just was rancid, and I was like,
oh god. She was like, I had to disinfect the
whole laundry basket, the plastic laundry basket. It stunk so bad.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
And by this stage it's too late for you to confess.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Like I couldn't. I couldn't. I was like it was
the nanny. Must must have been her. I think she's
done that.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
So a little PSA to anyone out there who cleans
up milk with a tea towel. You gotta wash it
straight away, but people.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Might not know that it stinks when it dries, and
it's got very distinct.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Stink milk, sour milk. How can something so delicious turn
so bad so quickly?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
That's usually how it works, right, Usually the sweeter thing
for men and ough milk. It's cruel bees, it's a
bad smell, it's a stink Matt. The time is upon us.
The month that is Oscar and Marley's birthday, Oscar's first,
his fourteenth, fourteenth birthday.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Did I get it right?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
It's on the fourteenth but he's not fourteen.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Yeah, and I said that he said his fourteenth I
fuck off.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I did play the fourteenth of June playback playback a
tape and I saw her in the Facebook group that
someone used the YouTube video I did with Andy Cooks
for their birthday cake. I forgot about that, but you
know with that, I made the cake up at Andy's
place when he lived on the Sunny Coast. But this
year we're having a soccer teen birthday. Big surprise.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Just quickly, what was the cake you made with Andy?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
It was a big red train and a car would
do a separate one, right, And I.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Just think the irony the one that there were parents
out there looking for help with how to make a
birthday cake and guy, the person who has been so
anti birthday parties for so long, ends up being the savior.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Who's also currently looking for someone to help me make
a cake. My message Andy and I was like, Hey,
it's Oscar's birthday. Can you help me make a Ronaldo cake?
And he was like, yeah, I'd love to do it,
but he's away that week and I can't. How long
can you keep a cake for a week? It's too long? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And I was like, ah, don't question me.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
No, No, that's too long, But don't question.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
You can leave it in the freezer.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, wouldn't it go dry?
Speaker 3 (21:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Who am I? I know everything about cake? Who has
that kind of space in the freezer? Actually, you've got
a garage freezer.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Don't you? No, I have a I used to the
one I used to use as an ice bath. Must
be nice. It was fifty bucks on marketplace. You know
what marketplaces. It's on Facebook where people still use things.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I'll take your word for it. Do the use caviar
on now? They don't.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I'm not interested. So I'm in the market for someone
who could help me with a cake.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
What's the damage on the cake? On a Ronaldo Replicas?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
He's from Portugal.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, I apologize.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I just don't want you to get in trouble with
the fair enough with the Spanish and Portuguese speaking community.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
How is your Portuguese going?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
By the way, duel Lingo is not happy with me. Look,
other things have come up, Okay, don't question me. Start
For those of you who don't know, learning Portuguese was
one of my news resolutions.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
But the year is still going.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
So I could still do it plenty of time I started,
just got to finish it.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You would just get to the end of the year
and just cramm in twelve miles at doing that. I'll
come here January first and I'll just so you gonta
do a soccer theme, but don't do a soccer.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Theme birthday cake. So if anyone out there, if you've
got any suggestions.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Can I just ask? Will you do it at a park?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (22:36):
You at home? Nah, there's a venue. We're actually doing
a venue that actually take care of the whole lot
to drop and go stitch. Not for me obviously, which
sucks because it was like it's going to be dropping go.
I'm like, yeah, it's not for you.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I saw your little post little carousel. When is it
the soccer game and you're like all the kids running
after you.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Oh yeah that was I made a mistake. That was
a big mistake. So at the end of the game
that everyone gets a snake, right, like a lily snake,
And it was my job to hand out this snakes.
This week, I was like opening up where they were,
you know, the coaches were doing the thing. The kids
all locked eyes on me because they're allowed to come
to me until they finished that and I thought, you know,
I'm going to do on a fucking run with two
bags of snakes and see what happened? They just like
(23:13):
there were tears.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Like moths to the flame.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Mate.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I got absolutely tackled by these kids. Someone stole the
packet from me. There was kids crying. It was like
a war zone and everyone's like, Ash, you've done enough,
You've done enough. And I was like, thankfully I've got
more and I hadn't more. Lot like to all the
kids that were crying that thought they missed.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Well what you posted looked really wholesome and great. That
was the start. You cut out the tears. Oh can
I just ask what's your thoughts on the community hall
for Marley's birthday party? We're currently looking for a hall.
Don't do it at home because the house get trashed
for a couple hours. Community hall. What do you think
is a fair price to hire it depends.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
There's one down in Bayvy for an example. A friend
of mine used it as a backup for a wedding
if has it rained, but we end up doing photoshit
there they had it. They hired it out for the
whole day. Undred bucks.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Yeah, I reckon a hundred bucks are free.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I'm getting ripped off in Bondai. There's your answer, bro,
Guess guess how much it is for a couple of
hours in bond You to give up your first born
child to use it for the community hall?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Wait? Can I just ask? Is it because it's in
Bondi or is it because they've seen your name?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
No, it's just the pavilion. It's just an iceberg. I
don't understand.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Guys.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
It's only so many times I can laugh at myself,
and it should be all the time. Four hundred bucks wow, yeah,
plus two fifty security deposit as well, on top of
which you get back. But it's not like it's a
it's a nice little place.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
It's it's in Bonda, in the heart of Bondai.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Is it the pavilion? No?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I did look at the pavillion.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
I actually think the pavilion would be cheaper.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
It's an old building, it's you know, it's a very
community of them to be lending in.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
I was like, fuck, that's daylight robbery.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, don't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
That's honestly, that's the same price as if you went
to like bounce.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
How is this sorry, they know they've saw you come in.
The people are paying it. We need to bongo. We
need to stand up and fight the injustice.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
There's a kindy at where my old suburb used to
live that you can actually on the weekend, you can
actually pay an Holi rate to use the kindy for
parties which has so it has the whole bit and
it has like a full kindy playground and everything like that.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Maybe I'll have the party over in Northern Beaches. Yeah, come.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Join us.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
You like it over here? It will.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
I jeez, quieter friend, Yeah, less tourists.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Less tourists is a cave. We've got some of the best.
I can't refinish.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
The sentence camea at Berts.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Where are you eating like birds? But what the fuck
is Bert? Where's I'm too busy house?
Speaker 3 (26:05):
It's very fancy.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, never been champagne? It must be nice.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
But this is some love dogs a special occasions.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yeah, I suppose special occasions, but like I'm not, I
prefer I'm more of a quantity than a quality eater.
I prefer quantity over quality.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
So someone's like here, we can tell fuck you that
is mean.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Let's move on.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
That is so mean to feed my honor, don't mean
vulnerable drink breaking newsick.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
New research has uncovered the damaging effects of snoring on
partners over time.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Storing on them, waiting on a minute the top of it.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
I didn't consent into this.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
That would be awful, the effects of snoring on partners.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
It's not really the effects snoring has on partners, not
the effects snoring on your partner.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Okay, aprils like, please get on me?
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Oh my god? Am I ever going to get breaking?
Snoring on the Research out of the US reveals chronic
snoring and men may rob women of up to four
years of the rest of their lives. How dare you
someone who has to live with a snorer to kill?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I don't know what I want to know what you're in.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
On me? Anyway?
Speaker 4 (27:48):
The constant nighttime disruptions, Oh, I'm sweaty, go on.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
The constant nighttime disruptions have led to an increase in
couples choosing sleep divorce, with their partners opting to sleep
in separate rooms to avoid actual divorce.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
I'm into that.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
After last night, I am too well?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
What happened last night? He was over the tod of me?
Does he has he tried to have his Is it
called like sleep apnea?
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Is you look like you're in a fighter jet.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
I'm pretty sure he has it, but we've never got tested.
But I have even brought those like nose only ised
it once, but work it's sort of did I haven't
done it properly because you've got to have like a
super clean face and it's got to be like but
Louis came into our bed last night, and then once
he came in, then Dan was snoring and I just
can't get back to sleep, and so then I went
(28:43):
into Lily's bed. I couldn't get a sleep. They went
to the couch and I was like playing musical beds
last night.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
You can still hear down from the living room, just
like having the best.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Deepest sleep of his life.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
It's an insult, that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
It feels like the most selfish thing at the time.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
He's one for you, right. I went back when I
was in my twenties or something. I went and was
stayed at a hostel with a mate and didn't realize
how bad of a snort It was like a fucking
train was in the hallway in the same room. So
much so that I bought a whole nother room that
middle of the night at a hostel to get away
from it, to get it one. It cost me three
(29:18):
hundred bucks for one night to stay.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
In a I was I can't do and I was
in your head, you can't get it out, And I swear.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
I could hear him from the other room.
Speaker 3 (29:27):
It was just in my head.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I just want to remind you you did say boohoo.
Who cares?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
That was a joke, man. So what usually happens is
when I when people when I when we joke, people laugh.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying, do you want
to have it?
Speaker 1 (29:40):
You call me fat bro?
Speaker 2 (29:41):
So you shut up. You just shut up. I called
a joke. We'll take all this out lived.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
But yeah, I told Dan he's on the cash light fair.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
It's quite We don't have an extra room, so you
get very defensive.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
So occasionally it's like you don't have an extra room,
I have an extra house.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Saying that you laughing just encourages it. Vic Okay, So
you guys, I make a joke and everyone's like, how
dare you to pour a little ashy look at you?
And then the moments jokes like fucking loser. That's what
it feels like.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
If that's you know that when I drive home crying,
it's because of your laughter that echoes in my head.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
He'll be wiping tears with his cash.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
That's I just want you guys to know that.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Are you a snoring Matt?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Uh, Matt, shut up, Ash, I'm trying to think you're
an elbower.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I elbow if you still pillow, if I'm I'm a good.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Guy because you guys have yeah, yeah we didn't.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
We don't think we snored that. Now. I if I'm
on my back, I'll snore and Laura will have to
wake me up and go, you're snoring, and I get
very defensive. I'm like, no, not, I'm and do so
and that all no, and.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
That's your knowing. And even last night, like it got
to the point where it was like like so soft,
but because I was so hyper sensitive, I was.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Like, get definitely started doing that cute snore. It's like
when Macy snows, like.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
It's so cute.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
But if she was an adult, like shut up, speaking
of Macy, Matt. She took a tumble and it was
really sad. Actually, the circumstances were even sadder last me.
It's been raining on and off a lot Insidney of late.
So we had a break in the rain. Like, I
got to get these kids out. You know what it's
like when the kids are stuck. They're just fair and
everyone's into each other's it's just so overwhelming all the
(31:39):
time when they're trying to do outside things inside because
they don't understand anyway. So breaking the rain perfect, let's
get out scooters. April was asleep on the couch.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
It's slipping on the scooter. Yeah, we'll just like, we'll just.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Go in the pass near home and they're pretty flat
and pretty straight and like, at least I can burn
a bit of energy or even if like they want
to go and jump into puddles, so we can come
back for a nice hot shower, just something, Okay, So
we went a scooter ride, both kids on the scooter.
The path at the back of my place that goes
along the wetlands. It's up and back. Perfect, it's like
a kilometer apple wizards. It's a bit too wet. They're
(32:11):
cold blooded, so there's no sun out. They weren't interested.
We were out there.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Shame.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
He's a shame anyway. So I'm on the electric bike
behind them, and the kids were in front, and they're
scootering up having a great time. They're just happy to
be out of the house, so happy to be out
of the house. Coming back, we've come to where we
turn off to either go home or there's like fifty
meters up the path is a little playground and it
still wasn't raining. So Macy was like, can we go
(32:35):
to the park?
Speaker 2 (32:36):
And I was like, yeah, can we go to the park.
He's like, yeah, we haven't such good let's go to
the park. Yeah, let's keep this good thing going.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Yeah, let's get We were turned to take off, take off,
Makesy hits a crack on a scooter over the handlebars
on her scooter. She got the helmet on, thankfully, but
she was like she salmmoned. She's in the air and
she's just like looking at you being like, yes, the
hangtime was amazing.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
She's like, please help me. Daddy's fall. It was all
slow motion to me, and she's like, and the poor thing.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
She's just she's so clumsy as well, and she just thudded.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
She was just a thud like onto the concrete. She's
like and just like, as you can imagine, I thought
you're gonna do the thing where you're like, I didn't
see that. She knows I'm not looking at her. She
won't cry.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
This was a definite cryer. She has gone over the
andlebars full salmon didn't stop her fall like that. Like
I said, generat she was fine grays on the elbow.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
Dn man.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
So anyway, I was like, fuck, get home.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
She's hysterical, Get her home to try and clean her up,
get a band aid on whatever. Walk in. April's awake
because she was having a little nap and Macy. As
soon as she sees Mum, she burst into tears again,
as it happens anyway. So I get the box of
band aids out and I give it to April and
I go sort out what I was just doing. Bring
I had to Meanwhile, I had to try and carry
all the scooters back and put everything away back in
(33:53):
the garage and came back up. She's got a band aid.
I'm like, great, big one. She's like still sobbing, really
sad like, and I'm like, hey, like what kept going?
She kept crying, kept crying, like fuck, what's going on here?
And I was like to Abylon, I'm like, did you
like clean clean the wound or anything? Because she's landed
on the mossy concrete, she's scraped up. It's probably got
(34:14):
some germs in there right, which are probably irritating this
this scratch. She's just band aided over the top to
try and shut her up.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
I would have gone over the top as well.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
And I was like, I was like, now we're going
to pull the band aid off because she's still you
can tell she's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
You wanted to under the band aida because.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
I wanted to get in and clean it properly. And
Macy was like no, no, And I'm like, I get it,
I feel it. Why don't we have a hot shower
loosened up the skin? But she's like, no, I'm just
going to do it. Okay, So she's she's ripped it off.
That's an audio.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
That's pretty bold behavior from you.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
I thought I've had enough scrape since and stuff in
my life. It's like the quickie clean it the bed.
It's going to be tomorrow, That's what I'm thinking about.
All right, let's get it off. Let's what just wipe
anything and I open up and it's got like grass
particles and all sorts of things in there. And yeah
there's headlines in there, nails.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Get in there.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I like, wiped it off, got the better thing, and
I found like a big square bandage. I stick down the.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Hospital and your household. You got everything.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
I know.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
I got all these first aid kids on where the
these first aid kids come from. It's like they've been
there for ages, And I'm like, okay.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Sometimes the kids don't want the big band aid.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Well it's not a band aid. This was just a
square like gauze. You got GOLs in my house. We've
got guse money.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Scuffle. Yeah, we don't have paper towels in our house.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
It's just fucking gauze.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Wiping the bench with gaus. It's good gear, it's multi use.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Cutler is just scalpels and tong Yeah, but she was pumped.
She got the big You know, think about how pumped
kids are with a band aid whip out some gaus
off their hair.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Kids don't like it aids anti gaus. Oh, they don't
like gauze like that, what's wrong with it? They just
want they want the pretty Disney like every I'm like,
this is a pretty deep guy.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Gotta be the best marketing tool ever that has to
go up there with any product you have to put
up there, putting a character.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
On a band aid? Can we just put some characters
on grs to do dads?
Speaker 1 (36:21):
We looked at doing band aid days, remember, but it
was like, hows more for the parents? Be like, I
need a band to put a man of Jay on
my arm? Anyway, So Macy's pumped about the gauze. Okay,
so I've put some bed than on it stung a
little bit, but she's so fucking brave. I kept telling her.
And then I was like, all right, so I put
some medical tape around it. I got that too, got
(36:44):
it all. And then I found like a proper bandage
that was like rolled up, and I was like, how
about this. How about we put a bandage over it,
and I like masking taped it.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
So it was like an Oscar's like when I cut myself.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I just get to shut up, Yeah, get out because
he's a drag. Makes she's so sad, and You're like,
I've got a wheelchair.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Do you want that as well? Anyway, So we put that.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
We wrapped her armorh like she'd broken it and put
the put some tape around it, and we all signed
it for her and stuff like. She was so proud
of it like this. She was like can I She
was like, can I leave this on and take it
to Kindy? They want to show everyone anyway.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
So I was like, no, you can't do that.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
So I undid it.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You wouldn't let it take it to Kindy. I did,
but before she.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Went to Bezi had another shower. We took that one
off and I redressed it. I said, look, in the morning,
we'll put the bandage back on it and resign it
so you can go in. So she went in the
next day and she was like full bandage up. And
when I walked in with Kindy, she was like, she's
just walking around like this like it was a badge
of honor for me. But anyway, held up nicely and
(37:47):
no infections or anything like that. But it was just
sad to watch her salmon over the top of a handlebar.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
A four year old girl derails a day quicker than
a little gray And.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
The thing was so happy to go to the pike,
like pumped, like yes, finally, just to be brought back
down to earth literally we used to always go on
the on the bike to school.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
It's not that far, so she's like a kilometer. And
now the girls love going on the scooter and I
follow it like you on the bike, and I'm always like,
slow down, put on the brag.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
She gets the death wobbles.
Speaker 2 (38:21):
She just it's like and heading into a road and
I'm like, no one crossed the fucking road. I go
first across the roads and they are flying down the hill,
wabbling all over the place, and I'm like, this is it.
I'm gonna watch my child either whip out or get
taken out by the fucking stress.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Macy tries to keep up with Oscar Oh, and she's
like but the thing is that she's looking back.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
At me, and I'm like I forward, I'm forward. And
then then.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
It's unbelievable.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
I love Lola. I love Lola, but any minor cut,
she can't walk, she can't move, she can't I can't
give her a bar.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Makes he's so.
Speaker 5 (39:01):
And she's like when whenever she runs anywhere, I'm like,
because she's like, I gave an injury to Lola that
she was keen to show off at school kids together, well.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Was oh and let me just defend myself a second.
So Lola, now that Pop is out of the bedroom,
Lola is in bed with us. She comes in every
night and she loves a cuddle, and I'm loving it
as well. Laura not so much because she's such a
light sleeper and she gets kicked by Lola. Lola could
like suffocate me, and I'd still just be like, yeah,
it's fine, I won't wake up. I'm like, I love it.
(39:37):
And I didn't realize. I had this dream that I
was like running somewhere the kid and I just I
whipped my hand with my ring in the lip, smacked
it right in the lip.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
When you're all in the middle of the NYE said, Lola's.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
There just like just you know, completely shook up. I'm
surprised the fact that she's been smacked in the faced
by your dad. I'm still like, oh, yeah, you're a
deep sleep snoring taking four years off Laura's life. And
then Laura is trying to comfort Lola, and I'm like,
what's what's going on? What happened? What's happened here? And
(40:15):
then I was like, again like defensive. When you get
told you're doing something in your sleep, I was like me,
I would never hit you. Here's my precious little Lola.
I would never in my drooms and Lola just cut
lip and she was like, can't wait to tell everyone
at school, and I was like, oh, fuck, please don't,
please don't.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
It's it's a hard one to explain. Like the other day,
Oscar ran at me from his room. I'm on the
couch right and I could tell you he's going to
run and jump, so I've gone to grab the pillow
and move the pillow so he could land safely. And
as you've done that, he's dived headfirst. He sammoned headfirst
into my fist. He literally head butted my fist, and
(40:55):
I was like, oh am, I gonna explain my way
out of.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
This one, Like I'm just I didn't hit my kid.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
He had butted my fucking fist, And was like, sure
he did, but anyway, thankfully no black eye.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
The other thing I do as well with Lola in bed,
I'm very tired in the morning. Ash I don't like
waking up at the best times. Lola wakes up at
like six o'clock very early, and she'll often wake up
and ask a couple of questions just to get her
bearings for the day. Where am I. Well, She's like,
is it a school day today? In my half awake,
half a sleep state, I was like, ah, no school today, No,
(41:33):
and she was like yes, and I like roll over
for back of sleep and Laura is like it is
a school day and I'm like, ah, whatever, And so
she's then crying because she's like, I don't want to
go to school. She can ask me fucking anything in
the morning and I'll just be like yeah. She's like,
can I get chocolate for breakfast?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
I'm like, just worked you out?
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Can I get the car keys? And I'm like, yeah,
take it. Park's on the left hand side.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
It's kind of like gospel, Yes, that not gone to school,
so good. And then it's like sorry and then Laura
is like what are you What are you doing?
Speaker 2 (42:02):
And I'm like what what's happened? And she's like, You've
just you said, Lola, take the car and get ice
cream for breakfast because there's no school today.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Severe memory line.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
I never said that, Yes, she didn't remember, and she's
bleeding at the same time.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Did you hit your child like that?
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Matt?
Speaker 1 (42:23):
Would you consider yourself a smart parent?
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Except for the mornings when I misinform my beautiful children
or any question they asked me. I'm normally a pretty
smart guy.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Well, this segment is where our listeners.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Do you agree with me to say.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
This is a segment from our listeners actually where they
send in their little hacks how they've been a smart parent.
Hopefully we're can all learn from. And this segment is
brought to you by Aldi Aldi. Good different please, This
is from Rebecca give the kids their ice cream while
they're in the bathtub. They think it's the best fun
and it's so much easier to clean up. Genius. I
(43:04):
think like, if you're going all right, finish all your
dinner and you can have ice cream in the bath.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
Do you think that Rebecca is putting the kids in
the bath with the water or no, okay, are you sure?
I don't know. Do you think she's putting the kids
in the bath fully dressed with the bowls to then
take the clothes off and then start the bath or
is the bath already full?
Speaker 1 (43:23):
We need to follow up, well, oh my gosh, the
bath is full.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
There's no such thing as a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
There is.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
And when we start an answer with oh my gosh,
and you sigh. It makes me feel like that is
a dumb question.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Let me ask you this, would you like to eat
ice cream whilst in a jacuz?
Speaker 4 (43:42):
Yah?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
It melt quicker, wouldn't it.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
I think maybe a nice like mixture of temperatures.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Wouldn't you? Then have creamy water it's in a bowl.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
You're eating it in the bath tub, and she says, here,
and it's so much easier to clean up because there's water.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Although we have spoken about how milk gets quite stinky.
What if you spill it in the bath, the whole bath,
and then two days later someone's like, who's fucking sneaky?
Kids of these.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Goes down the train, but some of it's going to
get stuck to your poorous skin.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
It doesn't trust me. We do food in the bath
all the time.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
I'm beginning to think, Rebecca, is you.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
You made this up?
Speaker 3 (44:23):
No? But I didn't choose this one because I loved it.
Not only that the dots loved it, it got so
many likes from other people.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
You just said a.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Second ago, we eat a lot in the bathtub. Explain yourself.
Speaker 3 (44:35):
So when we do dinner, because and you guys know this, you're.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
All in the bath, naked, eating in bags, dinner, sausages.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
Jesus. The kids take so long to have dinner sometimes
and sometimes to get them to eat faster, we're like,
you can have some dessert, and for us, dessert is
frozen berries, and frozen berries are really messy, and so
they can eat them in the bath. And then instead
of getting them everywhere, like all over the table, floor,
et cetera, it just falls in the bath or the
and like as soon as they're like berry fingers and
(45:14):
berry face gets it, like you.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
They are they just washing in berry water. No, no, no,
there's just ants all over them.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
No, it just helps cut the time out and then yeah,
it is kind of fun for them. It's easy to clean,
and it helps get them in the bath sooner because
they've got this carrot dangling in front of them.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Literally, it reminds me of the kids in the bar,
you know what talked about when you're like, you put
the plastic down the food.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Next it's going to be the bars full of food.
Kids get in you see A big fucking thing is
spaghetti and the kids in there washing under their arms
fucking chunks of meat.
Speaker 3 (45:52):
I once have done spaghetti in the bath with the kids.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Need to be stopped.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Never again. That is a mistake. But it just goes
down the drain, so then it's like you don't have
to clean instead of getting the.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Drain or the strainer, all the sources out.
Speaker 2 (46:10):
It's like quick in the past round will.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Say it the.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Dance in there eating the leftover.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
It's like it's a big fucking bowl. This is from Lorrie.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Laura.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
Laura l O r I l l okay, let's go
to Laura.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
When my kid is having a tantrum, I get the
TV remote and say I'm just going to pause this
for a moment, and he pauses because he thinks it's
funnier than the injustice of his issue. He pauses for
a few then I say, I think I'll just change
the channel to a comedy and animal documentary poor Patrol
Bluis and point at him and he will act out
(46:48):
a scene from the show or genre. All of a sudden,
the tantrum is over and we're having so much fun.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
That's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
I like that. That's good.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Get although I don't mind a tan what if it's
in public taking a remote with a universal remote?
Speaker 2 (47:01):
I got confused for a second and I was like,
so he's watching TV the tantrums front the tea. So
he's having the tantrum.
Speaker 3 (47:07):
She points the remote at I want to watch a comedy.
I want to watch Bluie and then he starts acting
it out.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
I thought was next time I was yelling at me,
I'm going to try with her pause and then get yeah, pause,
no violence.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Sometimes when Laura is having a tantrum, I'm just like
some mute. Someone's got the grumpy the grumpies out and
I start squeezing. I'm like, oh, there's still something in there,
something there. And then I'm like just waiting for a
little chuckle and I'm like sometimes it doesn't come.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
The mood switch up is hard.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Just distraction with partners and works with both.
Speaker 4 (47:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:42):
This one's from Sammy. Our car won't start unless everyone
has been to the toilet, has shoes on, and has
their water bottles.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
That's genius.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
That's great, that's just great.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Can I just that is yay? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Last one? That is just good parenting.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
Jessica, great name, easy, run of the mill, that love it.
Thank you for the pick of Jessica.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, makes it much easier for us. It was like
one or Warwanda or something or something weird name I
can't pronounce.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Also shout out to all the rwandas. No one taught
Mummy how to play hide and seek, so if you
hide from me, you might be lost forever to the
kid that used to run and hide if you didn't
want to do something like go home from the park.
It works like a charm.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Yeah, I didn't have any hiders, although actually Macy once
we've got one of those little toy kitchens, and I
found her in the oven one time, but I couldn't
find her for ages. And then her head popped up
because it has like the oven entry, but then it
also doubles as the stove, which can take the stove off.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Did you fall asleep in there or no? No, I
was just like where.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
I couldn't get the shit out of me actually, and
then her head just popped up, and I was like,
thank god, that's like she's just in the kitchen, just
in the oven.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
She's just in the oven overall, founder she's in the oven.
I think these are so important to share with the
dough is because it makes them smarter parents. I love that,
But if you're also not just a smart parent, but
a smart shopper. Take the Aldi i Q test at
i q ali dot com dot you and find out
if you're a true grocery genius.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
Aldi good different.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
We've got to get out of here.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
We do next week, Matt. We've got a great housekeeping episode.
We're gonna have all the doges of lemons in there.
It's not just going to be me crying.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Ah do we ever? We need to have like a
cry tally count to see who like at the end
of the year, it's going to cry.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Just keep it going, keep it going.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Yeah, I've done pretty well. I haven't cried in a while,
not that there's anything wrong with it is the day.
I've had a good run. But there's moneys that there's
those Monday those cry those Monday episodes just so good, good, credible.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
We've also got another favorite asked.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Oh yeah. We need you to comment on this episode,
either individual episodes on Spotify or on Two Doting Dads
as a whole on Apple podcast us, or follow us
or with the friend.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
You can follow us on socials, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube,
Two Doting Dads, or send us an email hello at
two Doting Dads dot com.
Speaker 2 (50:09):
Well said, let's get out here. Goodbye. Two Doting Dads.
(50:30):
Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and
the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island
the People's Today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land.
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