June 7, 2026 • 50 mins
We’re back with another housekeeping ep and the boys are ripping through the to-do list this week — from parenting lies and par-rants to a couple of doter dilemmas thrown in for good measure.
The guys unpack the backlash around “new baby on board” commuter badges… and let’s just say they’ve got thoughts.
They also launch an investigation into the most spirit-breaking kids toys ever invented - particularly the ones lovingly gifted by certain mothers-in-law.
Matty reflects on his early newborn days and the loneliness that can hit when there’s no dads group or village to lean on.
Plus there’s another birthday party etiquette drama and this time Ash has had to call it in to April which lands him in more hot water.
As always: plenty of enthusiasm, very little advice.
If you need a shoulder to cry on:
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, power of nine? Really quick?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Give me two digits. Me two numbers, five and seven,
Five and seven, okay, is fifty seven?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now add those two together, you get five plus seven
is twelve.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Five plus seven is twelve. Yep, yeap.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Now you reduce, you go fifty seven less twelve. What
is that equal?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Fifty seven less twelve?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Forty five forty five? Now you put four and five together.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
What numbers that give you nine?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Boom?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
The power of nine. You can do with any number.
You are weirly good with numbers. What we like in maths.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Terrible because that my teacher had really short shorts and
I would nothing to do with him.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Welcome back to two Dating, Dad, Die, Matty, J and
I'm at And this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad, and the
power of nine. And we won't give advice. Now this
is a Monday episode. Is our house keeping episode.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Let's stick let's stick to that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
In short, it can mean anything. It's the smallest board
of discussions.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Or as my grandmother calls it, a Schnorkus board. I
don't know why, but she does.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I was never good at maths. Numbers confuse me.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You can do that with any number, any two numbers,
and all the way up to who taught you this? TikTok,
Give me another, Give me three numbers.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Three three and three three three. Oh my god, it's nine.
Oh my god, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Now if you reduce nine from three, three and three,
what do you end up with?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Zero?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
If you reduce nine from three hundred and thirty three.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
No, now I need to do it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You get twenty, You get three hundred and twenty four.
Now add three, two and four together.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
What do you get for Vick? Make them stop? You
get Yeah, you get nine.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
All the listeners are out there going pool. I don't
think they are okay whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I think they're like, what is.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
This parenting content?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
This is housekeeping studio update, Matt. What do you got
for me?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Okay? Look, we went all out. We blew the budget
once again. I think I I was like, it's gonna
cost a hundred bucks. And that's because I didn't realize
when I was getting a neon sign quoted it was
for ten centimeters, so I then got it sixty five centimeters.
It's about five hundred bucks. It's a great investment.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Hope that don't spell it wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
This is the ROI on this neon light is phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's gonna be posted every day on every story.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
We did say there's the option that's good gear that
is good gear, Option one, option two, the good, the bad,
and the relatable.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We weren't with a good bad and relatable, didn't me?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yes, yeah, yes, I think it was a safe bad
because people were like, is that even a question?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You're idiot?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I was like, whoa, I know. They really came out
just like I was just like, hey, guys, here's what
I'm thinking. What do you reckon? They're all like, we
need to fucking come there and run this business for you,
because you guys are fucking stupid.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Actually, that sounds pretty good. We'll hand it over, hand
it over of course, help us, help us. We did
need to get furniture, and we did source furniture, a
little bit of it from Facebook Marketplace, and I just
so happened to be living with the Facebook Marketplace. Bully
(03:24):
Bully Shelves got some shelves, as you know. Yes, now
I inquired about these shelves. Yes, they're still available. The
lovely lady, her name was Margaret.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
She was very old. May I stop you right there,
the floating shelves or a bookshelf, bookshelf, bookshelf, bookshelf, because
you did say shelves, sorry, bookshelf.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yes, I said, is it available? Yes, it's one hundred
dollars for these shelves. I had a look at who
was selling them. She's probably eighty names Margaret. Yep, that's
how she sounded too classic. And April good on Margaret
for knowing how to run a Facebook. Oh yeah, April
didn't get of fuck about how old Margaret was.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
She's like, or for a fifty, I'm like, what was
the asking price? One hundred? I'm like, poor Margaret, she's
on a fixed income. She's a pension. She was like,
I'm getting a hundred bucks. No you're not.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It was like fifty, staunching fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not. Was the fifty
based on like market valued appreciation? Or was she just
like harve it, yeah, harve it.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
She goes, you're always going to go in half. I'm like, fuck, now,
why do we get nothing the other things I really want?
She's going in Harvard. I didn't know this until now,
And I was like, okay, no, I'm going to just
offer what it's on there, just get the deal done.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
In her eighties, imagine that like poor thing going She's
getting on and then.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
She's like, I would have lived longer if they had
just given me the full hundred instead of just beating
me down to fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
It's like a couple of hot meals at the RSL,
like a little game of Kino.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
To be fair, she didn't live Beachfront, but I didn't
know this until I went to pick it up.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Anyway, Avery was like, did you make a help you
carry it? I'm like, she's eighty.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
She's like so, I'm like, jees, you're ruthless. So anyway,
we've got the shelves for how much bucks?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I wasn't. It's annoying when that happens, you know, when
you give it to you you're paying someone and you're
like I want them to be a battler, like I
want to be helping them out, and when they're like,
oh yeah, pretty well to do. Like I had a
piece of furniture that I tried to sell. Couldn't sell
it on Facebook marketplace straight through? You didn't they? And
I was like, do you know what we're moving out
of the apartment, and I was like, I'm just gonna
(05:35):
fucking give it away like it was given to us.
So we were like, what.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
You were trying to profit of something that was given
to you?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, How am I setting traps
for me?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Godamn?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And I was like, do you know what, I'm just
going to give it away.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
That's the worst thing you can do.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And then and then within like second, someone was like,
I'll be there when.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
The entitlement of people when you're giving something away. So
they're like, say, are you giving something your way? And
you get these messages it is still available, It is
still available, It's still available, like yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
And people, can you deliver it to me?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Like what did? She rocked up in a Mercedes and
I was like you you should be paying for this this,
you fucker. Yeah, you don't deserve this. She was rich,
I know, and it's like, says brand new.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And we went and picked up these bunk beds from
a ritzy suburb on the Northern Beaches pretty far north.
I think you can pick up what I'm putting down anyway.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Are you picking up pick Like Palm Beach have a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
That sort of area. That sort of I don't want
to in case they're listening, who we can lose one
or two?
Speaker 4 (06:39):
They like to hear that I reckon.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Really that I can hear that I get to their
house to pick up these two hundred dollars set of
bunk beds were well used. They might add turn up
to their brand new house to fucking like half a
million dollar cars in the fucking driveway, and you're like
battling me for two hundred bucks. That's probably what they have.
All this sort of that's it. Yeah, they're fucking waters.
They're like fish, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Northern beaches people, and they got a micro climate up then.
But also the green color. I've never seen such an
outpouring of opinion do the wrong one since like the
last election. Oh really maybe we should run for don't
don't come on? Enough enough of that, But the colors did?
I not say Pharaoh's gem.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I think you'll find it's Pharaoh's gem.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's what I said, pharaohs gem.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I said that that was slang for for testicles back
in the old timing day.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Pharaoh's gem, Pharaoh's of Egypt. Yeah, pharaoh, okay, pharaoh. You
know when you want to correct me, Vic.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You can do it off off, he's in he's in denial.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
A very good pharaoh's gems.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Pharaoh, Look how you say, oh, my crown jewels, my
pharaoh's gems.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I liked it. You liked it as well.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I did like Farah's gem.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
That is it was option two for those playing at home.
That is the color we have gone with. And it
looks phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
It looks very The only problem I've got with the
swatches is that it took how many coaches to cover?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Those watches are twenty four? Fuck? Can now you can
still see it?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We have to put a picture over it, a Neon sign.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
If you will, I'll let it be known to everyone
listening right now that I organized the moving of a
light switch.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You did do a very good job of that, said.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
The light switch.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You did something.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Thank you, Thank you very well. Thank you. So this
will be maybe one of the last records. Maybe.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, we're getting there. We're getting close, man. I don't
know if you recall we talked about cloth nappies a
couple of.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Weeks ago, and the fact that Beth, your sister, claimed
she was gonna use cloth nappies. The baby came along
all of a sudden, cloth nappies, where are they? No
one knows se.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
No to be seen. But my parents did use cloth
nappies on her, apparently, but when they got to me,
they were like, fucking loam. That was back in the
nineties that were progressive.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I will say, I don't know who these people they
are coming out with this, like stop trying to pretend
like cloth nappies are good. They're not good.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I feel like some people just really want to get
knuckles deep and shit, like you got to clean it,
Like I just.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I don't have time.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Imagine having a buckead full of shitty cloth nappies at
the end of each day, after already having a shit day.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Two things on the cloth nappies, yes, apparently apparently because
we were like, what are you gonna do, like go
to the toilet then like empty the poop into the
toilet to then wash the nappy. And then people were like,
we got to do that anyway with normal nappies.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I tend to agree and disagree on this one because
if it's already wet, quite wet and absorbed by the nappy,
I'm not putting any extra effort in to get that out.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Because obvious it's going to go to landfill.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But if it's a mazy shit, which we've seen, which
are pythons that pretty much like that the water bottle,
it's begging to go on the toilet because I'm not
going to wrap that. It's like wrapping a present or
a pass the parcel for someone else.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Like when my baby's there on the change table, I
don't have time to Yeah, I'm just I'm working efficiently.
But Jemma has said just a little insight into cloth
nappies in regards to the poos. If it's solid, it
goes straight in the toilet. If it's just milk new
bond poop, it gets rinsed in the laundry sink. And
if you're breastfeeding only it is actually water soluble and
(10:19):
can go straight in the wash bruh. Just look also
just a fi Also, the poo is meant to go
in the toilet even if you use disposable nappies. It's
written in the box. I'm not reading the box. Who's
reading the box of the nappies? And sorry, Gemma, I'm
not attacking you.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I have dumped the shit into the toilet before. But
if it's a solid not if it's any running whatsoever.
I'm not no bag and target bag and taget straight
in and sometimes I'll double bag it.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So we receive these.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Little messages slash comments on the Facebook group, which is
an amazing place to be if you're a parent, becausere's
a lot of tips and tricks in there, which we
didn't really establish it to be like that, but it
seems to have worked out that way.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Which is like that was always the plan?
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Was it? Thing?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I wasn't in that meeting boring Those people who are
in the basebook group, they have the official title of
being doughtos. I wouldn't know because I'm never in there.
You do it once a month every now and well
that I keep keep him wanting more. You're like the
divorced father who Daddy went out for milk comes back
(11:24):
once in a while and he's like, I forgot something, daddy.
We go in the park. No, shut up, Timmy.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I like a few things that I'm like.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Everyone's like, was that? Who was that? Ash? What are
you doing? The pantheron Panthon. We did get a big
response on the panther people were do you know who
didn't respond? Though probably non parents, the panther themselves. I
was like, do you want to sponsor the book?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah, that's a free plug they got.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Someone even said like, come on the panting, give the guys,
give them some money, give me, give us some panther please.
The studio we had to pay Margaret full price. Actually
we got speaking of bank accounts, we are poor. That
don't count right now? Is empty? That's the way I like,
I'd like to be backed into a corner like that.
And you're the one who was like, we should pay
(12:09):
ourselves some money. And I was like, yeah, once and
now we've done that. We got no money? Have we
paid Dan? Yet? It is Dan? I paid Dan. That's
where it paut him half. Was like, offer him half
there in the corner.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
She should coming for all negotiations.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
That's her only move.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Though they're like no, She's like, okay, I tried, I tried.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I tried.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
We actually paid double.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
All right, I got the panthon Lady of Various Sorrows?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Is it? What?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
That's her Instagram name?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Lady?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Usually I mispronounced names, but now I'm just like, what
is this?
Speaker 4 (12:49):
And there was no other name on that?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
She says, how w index is for the family. In
My big fat Greek wedding is the pantheon is for
my family. Anything is wrong, I'm told to put the
pantheron on it. For those of you who don't understand
the reference, I don't get it. My big fact Greek wedding.
You know the movie Love It? It was an old movie.
The dad of that. He seems to think that windex
(13:12):
can go on any ailment, okay, from the riasis.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
To windecks wind x windecks.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Throughout the movie, there's little bits of the movie where
he'll someone be like, I've got this on my thing,
and then he'll come out another and spray with wind decks.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Really, yeah, I remember that in the movie. Are you sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
One day he was washing his windscreen with his windex
and he saw something on his hand and he sprayed
it anyway, cleared up immediately apparently, but he swears by it,
and it's it's such a dad thing to really fixate.
Like my grandfather used to think metho would fix everything,
So whenever I'd hurt myself, he'd be chasing me around
the house with a rag of methoat.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Go figure.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
He was an alcoholic anyway, he's dead.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
How did he laugh?
Speaker 6 (13:54):
But that's okay, that's okay because he's been dead for
what A little shit literally changed.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Me around the house with a bottle of metho. I
remember one time I fell off my bike and my
nan was such a such like a caring she would
redress everything every day, like I felt really bad. Gravel
rash along my side when I was a kid, and
he was just like, you.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Know, I could fix this.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Come here, son, speak for me, speak for you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Rest in peace, yeah, rest in yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Look, this is the last plug. I'm going to give
the panthon because I am paying us those fuckers. But
apparently Laura, her feet they are that's what we got
time for. They are like sandpaper. I have never seen
something suck up so much moisture like the second she
puts any type of moisturizer on her feet, I actually
(14:47):
doesn't need a flows out like scientists need to do
some kind of study on her. Like I've never seen
a part of the body just forever be so dry.
It is impossible for moisture to stay there for longer
than three seconds. And I sometimes in bed, they'll run
past me and she cuts me open. My like traxic
(15:08):
bottoms have been shredded. A wake up, and I'm like,
what happened in law was like yesterday we saw a lizard.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It kind of looked like that lizards.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Someone said, but panther and on the on the scaly feet.
So I'm yet to put it on her feet with
your wife and her.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Feet, she puts them. She washes them in the sink
like she does with the hands when she ever she
says that. I just picture her like her feet rubbing
together like with sober in the middle like that the
sink like you would with your hands.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
And now you're like, they're so dry it and also
pick anything up off the floor?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Is she a monkey?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Hang? Hang on a second, moving right along. It was
so quick.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
No, we need to be it was the political global
state of the country.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
We need to be serious. We've fucked around too long
in this episode. We're running an hour behind schedule.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Well that's part of the point of this episode, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I apologize, Okay, carry on. I want to talk about
New South Wales transport. Okay, you were having a dig
about them.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I was having a dig in New South Wal's revenue. Ah,
I threatened me with what I didn't pay a parking fine.
They're like, we didn't take your license off here. It's like,
well that's not fair because I wasn't in the car
when it was parked, So why am I being punished
for being in the car.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
But when they say we'll take your license off you,
it's like it's like a parent saying we'll turn.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
This car right around, or it's like like a school
yard where it's like.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I'm just taking back home.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Here, me me, me me mayor.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
So New South Wales revenue.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Fuck you? Oh god, that's fine, Let's move on to
someone else news that I was transport. They have released
badges and I think my only reference point for these
types of badges they're the baby on board badges is
when I was in London, because I once lived in
London four years?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Was that where you got a slight accent?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
That that is?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It's a terrific accent.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
It's meant to be bad, do you know? Because I'm
mocking you?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
WHOA, Yeah, there's a lot of venomin that Vick. What
do you over there?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You're needing a jump hard?
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Are you trying to untangle a chain?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
You need some winds need a panthon on that thing.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I'm listening while I do it.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Do your hobbies in your own time.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Do your hobbies in your own time.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
She's like, I just have untangling things. When you finished
the episode with like Vic was out, She's like, oh,
that's great episode. Mean, while she's got a jewelry shots
up in front of her.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Is that over there?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
There's a lot of paying you right now.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I know she's definitely that's something she'd do as well.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
It's back in order.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
It's like, look, big, you're over there just watching that
conversation happen. Do you mind making jewelry for us?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Is that a Tony May necklace?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
It's not, Actually, well.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
That's the that's the problem, would tangle.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I like that Tony May get all your gold and
silver goods that Tony May doc today.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Thank you, Laura.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
We need some advertising. We do need some.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
To Laura.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
When Laura's like, why is there invoice from two knowing
dads are four thousand dollars ash bludge, He's never bought anything.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
They should sponsor us though.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm not out there like Tony yet to
find them. I love your baby's compressed that's a great label.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
I'm looking at you down the eyes. Okay, carry on.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
That was Transport.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
That's what good time for? Are we going to get through?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
At this end of that? I feel sorry for the
listeners so they have, really sorry for them. They having
a great time. I can say that, but you can't.
My sister did say she's like you guys have like
you started yelling a lot in the episodes.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Sorry, Like there's.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
A lot of like, Hi, oh no, I can't hear
what just had.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Having our wrong conversation.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Honestly, I forget that all this is here.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
We've both got dementia.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Next week we're going to age Gracey.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Sorry, Transport. This is my fourth attempt. Okay, so I
lived in London. Right in London, they used to have it.
I know you keep reminding it, baby, because we'll show
some interest for what I'm not interested. You know, I
pretend to be into your stories.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
You don't pretend you just ah got me, like, come on,
hurry up.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
They have baby on board badges, and I think it
makes sense in London because people often wear like big
jackets coats. It's hard to tell when someone is pregnant.
It's cold, it's very cold in London. That's I'm sure miserable.
Some would say absolutely depressing in fact. But now Soell's
Transport have adopted that idea. So if you're pregnant, you
(19:53):
can request a badge says baby on board. Okay, yeah,
I like it. So if you're pregnant, you can request
the baby on board badge that you wear to then
tell the other passengers on the public transport that you
are in fact pregnant. And people ash have been mixed
in their responses to this.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
It's for those courteous people see that get up and go, hey,
here's my seat because you are you are with child, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
The people who think it's a bad thing, they believe
like we don't have to spoon feed people like do
we really need a badge to be like big courteous
to me, Like, surely it's just common sense to give
your seat up someone who's pregnant.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
The people that are saying that do they have not
access to any form of technology and see that everyone
needs to be spoon fed everything all the time.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Because we are really dumber.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
How can someone get upset with courtesy? I am pissed
off with you, Matt, because you were so courteous, doesn't
make any sense.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
There is one comment here, ash and it says it
depends how pregnant they are. Pregnancy is not n illness.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
No one said it was. But it's also uncomfortable for
a mom.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
With she's growing, so a lot of yelling, just growing
a child, throwing the baby. The baby's a big grown
in there. It's hard work.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
The only illness that's involved is like mourning sickness, right,
morning illness, and like, actually.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
So it is an it's a parasite.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Yeah, it is a parasite.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Are we wrong? Actually is an illness?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It's still can't you get up for both?
Speaker 7 (21:15):
Well, actually, when I look at this, because that really
pissed me off, that comment, and it came from a woman,
but someone right underneath. No, but it's a time of
altered physiology. Lower blood pressure in early pregnancy plus morning
sickness means standing up on public transport is challenging at times.
Plus relaxing and shifted center of gravity on later pregnancy
can make standing on public transport challenging. And as someone
who has been through.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
It, it's really hard.
Speaker 7 (21:37):
And like it's all consuming and the one time you
actually get to have a rest is when you get
off your feet, and if no one's standing up for
you on the bus, then what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
And people are fuckwards? People are fuckwards, but also you're
well said, thank you. Do you know what the problem
is with people? There's having too many of them? No,
but I do think. I do think because there is
a comment here and it says I got offer a
seat when I was thirty six weeks pregnant, but not
at twelve weeks, when the likelihood to be passing out
was far higher. I was sturdier in the third trimester,
(22:09):
and I think that's the problem. If you're twelve weeks
pregnant and you're feeling like shit and you have a
jacket on or a coat, you don't look pregnant. Let's
put this way.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
All through April was our first pregnancy with Oscar. We
got on the bus together every morning to the city. Okay,
it's so cute, by the way, forty thank you, forty
five minutes. I would make sure that we would get
a seat, okay, even if that man having to drive
to an earlier spot, like an earlier pickup spot to
get a seat because her morning ticket was so bad
(22:38):
but she was so committed to her job and wouldn't
take a fucking uber or wouldn't she wouldn't let me
drive or anything like that. She's too proud. But there's
so many times that we would get off the bars
because she was so uncomfortable. Imagine adding standing in the mix.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Okay, would she ever bring a bag with her?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Every time.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
And she would spew up seventy percent of the time.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
And I would take the spewbag with me and put
it in the bin on the way to my office
so they she didn't have to deal with that.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
What a guy think?
Speaker 7 (23:06):
Also what a woman like? Women are amazing, Yeah, but
also very chivalrous.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I think, thank you, This is all about me. I
think the bare minimum. Okay, I'm gonna put this out
there right now. I don't care if someone comes to me.
If you're a man and you see a pregnant woman
get on the bus and you don't get up to
give her your seat, you're a fucking idiot, full stop.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
You're not a man.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
You're not a man, You're a mouse. Where's the cheese.
Speaker 7 (23:29):
There was one comment, though, which I think is fair,
is like, this would be great if everyone actually looked
up from their phones.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Yeah, that too, but I just think it's it's common.
It doesn't You're not actually hurt even if you offer
it and they say no, no, no, it's fine. You have
gone one step better than the people that don't even
have the common courtesy, the decency, or the fucking stones
to get up and say, here is my seat. What
do you think is going to happen? You're gonna sit there,
comfortable and you're listening to whatever it is you're fucking
(23:55):
doing on your phone, completely able to stand up for
thirty minutes of your life, been sitting on your ass
at the desk all day, fucking get over yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, Vick, would you ever be in a situation where
you were not offered a seat when you were pregnant?
Speaker 7 (24:09):
The only time that I didn't get off of a seat,
it was like that thing where someone's looking down. So
I'm not afraid to say, like, hey, look at my
giant belly. But I think these badges are great because
that first trimester is horrific.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Got that bad is it?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
It's just a guy I would not for his seat.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
And no one knows you're pregnant.
Speaker 7 (24:31):
You're not showing but you feel the most sick that
you will and have ever felt in your whole life.
And it's not in the morning, it's all fucking day.
It's every day of the week. It's relentless. And I
remember having to stand on a bus and hold onto
that little bloody thing and be waving around. You've like
I've already got low blood pressure, and I just remember
being like, don't throw up.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Don't.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
And then if you, let's put this way, if you're
on a bus with a pregnant woman and that has
experiencing more hoarding sickness and she doesn't have a spare
hand to actually catch her vomit, mate.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
It's gonna be worse for you. And I always say to.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
My kids, it is so much easier in life to
be nice than it is to not be nice. And
being nice and giving your seat up is one. It's
gonna make someone go what a nice guy, And second
or woman whatever, and second of all, we're gonna feel
good about yourself for doing that for someone.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
So it's so much easier to be nice. Does that
mean you're gonna be nicer to me? No, that's rich.
I think I'm going to go one step further New
South Wells Transport. You've got enough bloody money. There's so
many toll roads here in Sydney. We should have specially
designed buses that are beds for pregnant women. Just a recliner, yeah,
just reclining. You guys can request. You're like, I'm in
the Northern Beaches. I want to go to the city
(25:41):
and then the bed bus comes. A maternity bus.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Yes, yeah, I reckon. The maternity bus would be great.
Speaker 7 (25:46):
You could have a great chats, give you SIPs and
hags two doting dad's maternity.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Bus and the bus drivers topless.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Last thing you're thinking about when you're pregnant.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Fair, fair, I'll just trying to give myself a job.
He just really wants to get his kid off just
really quickly. When my wife Laurie may have heard her name.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Once or twice, just heard about her feet.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
When it was Christmas time a couple of years back.
Trying to find a car park, she had Marley in
the car screaming. Finally found a car park in the
Pram Parks at the Westfield and she was waiting for
one and then as a car came out, another car
came the other way and it didn't see Laura or
like nab the park and Laura was like, hey, come
(26:33):
on man, like I was. I was waiting and she
didn't have a kid in the car and she goes,
you don't even have a child, and she goes, you
chose to be pregnant and then didn't give a car
park up.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
I can see what generation that person was wrong. I
can see it.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Boomer o.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Man can't wait till they all die out.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Sorry, mom, Right after he said it costs nothing to
be nice, it does cost nothing to be nice.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
But I think if you can't give up, you see,
you've got bigger fucking problems.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Mate, Ash, it is time for.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Tell me loud, tell me little loud.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Actually, this is just a very quick parenting lie. And
I've missed these. I know it's been a while because
someone has to keep talking about the variety, you know,
And you want.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Me to be nice to you.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Okay, So this one is from Danielle. This is the
best parenting lie ever. I'll be the judge of that. Danielle.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Yeah, that's very Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
No, Okay, I'm constantly late to work because my son
is so slow getting ready because he doesn't want to
go to daycare. I feel that today I told him
when I'm late to work, I have to go to
time out. He's never been ready so fast and in
the car ready to go. So mummy doesn't have to
go to time out. That isn't That is good. That
is very really good.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
And I like if you're not a time out family,
because people parent differently, you can swap that out to
be whatever it is that the punishment is at your house.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Do you guys have at your schools for your children?
Do they have like a noughty corner? We have the
thinking corner.
Speaker 7 (28:15):
Yeah, soft I think it's like a thinking or a
timeout corner.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
We have the whipping corner where you get whipped. That
was that was when I went to school.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
Poor.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I was eight times yesterday. I was like, She's like,
I had nothing else to think about.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
We really softened absolutely everything having we at school. It's
like a thinking corner is the corner where it's like
you're being in a little ship, go and think about it.
I suppose it works, yeah, and I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Ash. We also have now just moving along very quickly.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
You say two songs another song of.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
The song oh yeah, song, Yeah, it's time for this one.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
One of the previous You say, what, Man.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I feel like a parent? Parants, Matt.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
This is where parents send us things they want to
get off their chests. Doesn't have to be about parenting,
but I suppose it, says parans. So people just go
that way.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
These are long rants. There's a long rants. Ash take
it away. You go first?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Am I going to go first? With Michael? I can
pronounce that one?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
What is the go?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I love when they start on what's the go?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
What's the go?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
With those skills tests? At every pub right next to
the playground. They are like Pokey's for kids. I'm assuming
hi means the claw machines. Yes, And you get there
and you tell your kids they're broken and all good
until that one kid somehow gets money and puts it
in the machine, and then it's on bolt carry ons,
Especially if you're there for dinner. They're a bit tired
(29:42):
and lose their mind when you say no. We have
to get a petition out to get them removed from
all the pubs. Let the kids play in the park
and the dads have their beer. No carry on from
the kids. Ps. I love the pot You keep me
up on some rough drives home from night shift. Oh
that's great, thanks, Michael. I agree because they're part of
the road from me, which has it's sort of the
(30:03):
only indoor playground in the area. So as soon as
it does rain and you want to get the kids
out for play in the park, but there's no parks
up and obviously because it's raining, you go there, it's
already echo as fuk and then you're throwing these machines
that are there that the kids just don't even see,
the part tunnel vision, and there's always one kid who's
allowed to do it, which ruins that. I think either
(30:25):
get rid of them, or as parents we should agree
only use it if there's literally no one else there,
because once one kid has a go and one of
them is a chocolate one where we are and we
are right rocket.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
Not only that, but they're also in shopping centers.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Now, Yeah, it's an epidemic. Yeah, they're everywhere.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
They're spreading.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
They're spreading before we know they'll be in schools. Are
they really making that much money off them? I'd love
to know. I know there's been times where I put
in like twenty bucks for a fucking little Mars bar
have you. You're part of the problem. I know. Well
that's the thing. I was like, I have one go
And the next thing, Laura was like, why are you
still there? And I was like, I'll be home late, honey.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Just a full blown gambling, like I'm gonna win it
all back babe in chocolate man, Yeah, it all counts.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Well, why is it four thousand dollars missing from the account?
And I was like, ah, Cherry.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Ripe on the back says, don't sell separately.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
It was worth it.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
I know.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
We've got some of the movies and it's just there's
a little like one exit, one little pathway to leave
the movies, and there's three machines there and there are all
the machines are like bingo, come over here, kids, we love.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
You know, flashy lights of music. You're fucked anyway. We
canna be here all dinging about those things.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
This one is from Rachel. Hello Rachel, is there a
secret mother in law handbook that says, when in doubt
by grandkids, the largest, loudest, most aggressively colored toy known
to mankind bonus points if it plays music that you
cannot turn off, Like thank you truly. The kids love it,
but of course they do. But if we walk past
this in the shops, it would be a hard no
(31:56):
from me. I take the tantrum over it. But now
these hit his toys are here, sitting in my living room,
taunting me, assaulting my senses, and violently adding to my
daily overstimulation. I don't want to sound ungrateful, almost I
I just don't understand why every gift has to look
like a carnival exploded to my house.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I've got a solution for this. And whenever a parent
of mine, or a parent of Aprils or another family
member buys any toy that I think immediately will annoy
the shit out of me, which is a majority of
then it's at their house toy. So you insulting, we
love this. What we might do is, because I've got
heaps toys at our players might leave this one here
(32:38):
so when they care and play, they can play with it.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And then also you get to enjoy it, not me.
That's very good, thank you, that's very good. It worked
with a carryoak machine. It never left the box. Do
you want to know what Lala picked up recently? Have
a look at this toy?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Oh you got it. Show and tell love that I
told you my sister gave Oscar a kazoo.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Oh God, that's terrible.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
She knew it.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
She's better than that.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Come on, cloth nappies and kazoos.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
What wow, I'm not gonna like I like it. Yeah,
I know, I've never seen Ash's face light up so much,
but it does this.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Now I hate it.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
It is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
So it's a magic wand a pink magic wand that
has a crown at the top, and it's got the
sort of plastic sphere with a love heart in there,
and as you press the button, it spins the love
heart with these neon lights. And then it has some
beautiful music to go with it. And it's always when
turned off. It's always when Poppy is just gone to sleep.
(33:37):
And then Lola finds out that I've in a place
that I've hidden it, and it fucking just wakes everyone up.
So annoying but phallic at the other end. Come on, Ash, well,
it is I call a spade a spade.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Kids are like moths. You whip a light on like that,
and now, especially little girl, I know that's magic. Who
got you that?
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Princess?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
I don't know. It was Nana playing Nana.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
Yeah, and she lives with you, so she has to
deal with it.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I lives in her room. Now there you go. Hey, Hash,
we have one more song before we go. One more song.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Now you need us more than ever, know that we
still have each other. You can send sure doting dilemma.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
You can send shure donting dilemma.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
Ella, Ella, And.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Okay, this is from Lauren, who is sent in an
audio message. May I play it for you?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Please?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (34:34):
There's someone else is doing the work around here.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Hey, Maddie Nash. My name's Lauren, and my husband and
I are both big fans of the podcast. Were first
time parents to a five month old boy, and the
other day my husband sent me a message saying that
he feels lonely. Before having our baby. He was and
still is the one in his boys group chat checking
in on everyone else, asking how the weeks going, and
organizing monthly pub catch ups. His text message said, I'm
(34:57):
sad that I don't get to hang out with people
like what you have with your mum's group. I'm really
happy that you've got that. Yes, I come to work,
but I'm not working with mates. All we talk about
is work stuff. None of my mates suggest catching up
after work or on the weekends, and they hardly ever
apply to messages. It honestly broke.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
My heart reading it.
Speaker 5 (35:15):
It's especially sad because two of his closest mates already
have young kids and they're all obsessed with my husband.
We even created a monthly parenting group via our local
community facebook page in order to meet other couples, which
is actually how my mum's group formed. I don't really
know what to do to help him, other than set
up playdates with the husband's from mum's group. Have either
of you experienced this? I know loneliness is something a
(35:37):
lot of dads go through after becoming dads, and do
you have any suggestions for helping dads build those connections?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Again?
Speaker 5 (35:44):
Thanks guys again, love the podcast.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
First of all, we're your friends. Okay that's your first one,
but ah fuck it's tough.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
A Do you want to remind ash the time when
he once said I have enough friends, I don't need anymore?
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Which time this is the new improved.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
That was.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
It's true though, I'm just a likable guy.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Look, can I just remind people of your situation when
Oscar was born, you found a unicorn parents group.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Oh it was like, yeah, I got friends from outside
of that trying to get into this group.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Still like of course everything that Ash touches turns to
bloody goals, just like this podcast. So and how did
you find that mother's group parents group?
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Sorry, it was firstborn mother's group. So based on the
community where we were at post code geographical location, they
April sort of got grouped in with a bunch of
other mums that thankfully we were. They just seemed to
all get on. There was a couple that were doing
their own thing, there was there's no mouse towards that.
But like the core group that continued, they all put
(36:52):
in the effort. Like she just said, then he's the
guy who checks in, so it's kind of like he's
trying to put the effort in. But blokes are useless, right,
we know that, And like unless you've got other people
that want to put a similar effort in, which you know,
we could have easily been like met with them once
or twice and then not put the effort in.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
But did you ever feel at any point through your
early years of parenting did you feel lonely?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Only when I had to drop Oscar and April off
to a mental hospital for that brief time where I
was sort of isolated but and didn't feel like.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I could talk to anyone about it.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
But that's a very different situation. I can see how
easily it would be to feel isolated if you are
spending majority of your energy is going to go towards
your family and your kid, and I can see how
it's like sometimes you don't have that outlet, you could
feel lonely. I can't say that I felt lonely in
that aspect. I could see how hard it would be.
What about you, did you when you had Mali? Did
(37:49):
you guys have a mother's group or I mean, I
can see why they set them up, but a lot
of them don't work.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah, it wasn't really Laura's vibe. She wasn't that into
it and she got put with a few other people
and they didn't really click. So then it wasn't something
that we relied on. But man, I yeah I felt
lonely as I really, yeah, I didn't. There wasn't a
lot of friends of mine who were having kids. They
were from Queensland originally they were moving back to the
Gold Coast. So I found myself in a situation where
a lot of friends had moved into state all of
(38:17):
a sudden. The friends that were still here didn't have kids,
and they didn't want to hang out with me. Because
there was a couple of days a week Thursday Fridays
in the early years, I would have Marley, Marley and Lola.
It was like the daddy daughter day and I was like,
I guess it's just us, like it was me and
my sister, but I didn't have there were no guy
mates that I could rely on to be on the
(38:37):
same page. And my neighbor I remember, was like, oh,
what are you doing on Thursdays? I know you've got
the kids. Do you want to come to this community group?
And I was like, yeah, I'd love too, sure, And
I was the only dad there and they were all
really lovely, but it was only like really top line yeah,
Like I did feel very much like like why is
he here? Yea, And it wasn't. It was a different
(38:59):
type of friendship. And then the guys that I did
hang out with, if ever i'd want to talk about parenting,
a lot of the time I would almost see their
faces glaze over when I was like, Hey, Marley's got
this sleep schedule and it's really tricky, and oh gosh,
she's you know, dealing with this right now. I could
just tell it was like I was talking about paint drying.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
And I think, like going back to the episode, we
did be tim with boys, same with blokes. A shared
purpose like the walking group, there's a shared purpose there
where they've all gone, Okay, well we want to get out.
We want to get out of the house. These kids
me to get out of the house. We're all dads.
There's a shared purpose. Let's go and do it. So
it might be the fact like community sport too. I
don't know if he plays sport or something like that.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
I think they when you're talking about community sport, we're
in a real change of parenting habits. There's so many
dads out there where you can talk about sport, but
if he wants to talk about hey, I'm finding it
really tough with my five month old. He's not sleeping
at the moment. A lot of a lot of men
not to generalize here, but a lot of men don't
have enough hours clocked up in that department where they
can understand what he's going through offer any type of advice.
(40:01):
So it's hard. I just meant the connection itself. Sometimes
you want to feel connected. Like I didn't feel like
I ever had guy mates that I could talk to
about parenting outside of you. This is kind of like
the first time where I had another a man who
I could speak to, who would understand the topics that
I wanted to talk about specific to parenting.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
You're right, yeah, because I mean that that group could be. Yeah,
we could have those who have all the hours clocked
up and those who don't.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
But also I think a game change is when you
start daycare and you start you start school because we
all pick ups and stuff. That's it. You can start
to have play dates. I think it's really hard when
you're not in that world yet where you are getting
introduced to new parents. I mean I got lucky as well,
Like not that you want to try and like hunt
out friends at the park, but we did. Laura and
(40:47):
I shout out to Melenenzo. We met them at the
park and it just happened that, like the kids were
kind of playing close to each other and like, you know,
we met. But there were many times in the park
where I was like I just want to talk to someone.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Yeah, that's yeah, Yeah, it's so tough. I mean, I
see you when I feel you and like, yeah, I
can imagine it would be because I don't know where
I'll be if I didn't have friends that were in
similar boat at the time, because you're right, you lean
on them so much that if you don't have that
to lean on that you can only and I know,
like his wife would be like, oh, you talk to
(41:19):
me about it. It's like, yeah, I want to talk
to you about it. But also sometimes you want to
talk to someone completely different about it and build a
bond and a relationship with someone who's going through the
same things as you are all the time, want to
you know what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 7 (41:31):
Talking about team connection and stuff, a lot of parents
have to give up team sport once they become parents,
so they lose that connection as.
Speaker 4 (41:37):
Well because become so time poor.
Speaker 7 (41:41):
Yeah, and if you've got a new mum, you don't
want to be like being like, hey.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Enjoy the baby, I'm just going to go play football.
Speaker 7 (41:47):
Like, yes, it's great to keep that up, but a
lot of dads I know do struggle with that. The
recent statistics show that The highest prevalence of social disconnection
in the core parenting years happens in those first five years,
and that's because you are doing a lot more baby
stuff and a lot less socializing. But a big part
of it is the fact that our workplaces. It's getting
(42:08):
better now, but have it traditionally helped us keep those
social connections because all we're doing is looking after a
baby and then going to work, and then looking after
a baby and then going to work. Very true, and
it creates this really vicious psychicle.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
The only other time we got is that community where
you're give it up your seat for pregnant women.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Call back about Dan. Did Dan have a community of
dads that he found.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Well, it was through me.
Speaker 7 (42:35):
So my mother's group was my lifeline and I relied
on them very heavily for baby milestones, baby behavior, what
the fuck's happening with my baby? All those sorts of
questions that you're constantly asking. But because Dan's at work,
I need someone else to ask. And so luckily we
had a great group of dads who were partnered with
these mums, and so then he got to start meeting
(42:56):
other dads through that. But he was also like like
where's the dad's groups?
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Like why do not?
Speaker 7 (43:01):
Why don't we get a dad's group because you get
to talk to each other about all this stuff happening
to you. I would like to talk to someone about
how I'm feeling, probably.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Like with men that old, lame, lame culture that's been lame,
you know what I mean, which is.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
The systems that are set up are prioritizing mums as
it should be, and I think it's going to take
a little while for there to be enough dad. Similar
to this guy who's like, hey, I want the group
as well for it to be formed, and it's annoying
that he's at the forefront here of that change and
it's going to take a while for the systems to
catch up.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 7 (43:33):
Yeah, And I think it's also just it can also
hurt a little bit when you're the one who organizes
everything and then it's finally your turned for people to
help you out and they're.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
All in short. But I also think I'm finding friends.
I don't want to underestimate how hard it is to
find really good friends, Like it's like dating, you know,
you're trying to find a life partner, Like like if
I lose Ash, I'm fucked. Yeah, I don't know, be
fine though, but you know you've got to like not
that you want to become disheartened, but there are definitely
(44:06):
dads out there that this dad hasn't met yet who
will become good friends. Because he sounds like an awesome guy.
He's putting in an effort and he wants to find
that connection. He's just got to try and find the
right people. And it hasn't happened yet, but it will
as long as he keeps trying. And we are your friend,
and if all else fails, we will be here every
Monday and Tuesday Wednesday. So yes.
Speaker 7 (44:27):
One other thing I will add though, is that when
you do become parents, and I don't know if you
guys can attest to this, maybe not, Ash, but your
friendships change after you become a parent, and some of
them just fall by the wayside and some of them
grow stronger. And that's just a part of life, and
it's a shitty part of life. But you will start
to see who are your true friends and who are
the ones that are sometimes friends.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
And like, full credit to my friend Miles who's so
far away from having kids, but.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
He credit to the bulls.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
He puts in the effort. With all of us that
have friends, He'll just reach out very.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
The got these great through his friends are all amazing.
Speaker 7 (45:04):
That's why he's such an amazing guy.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Got her on board, that's amazing. Anything else to doing that? Jewelry,
anything else you got that, you're like beating all of
us other parents, ash? What else is there? What else
is there? Even lucked out at? Amazing?
Speaker 2 (45:17):
It's not like I put in the work. I don't know.
I've heard about that. I thought.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
You're just hanging on here, man, I know, don't. I
don't argue that. So being nicer to me is what
I'm trying to say. You'd be nicer to me. I
just pour my heart out.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Especially it comes across the sarcasm, doesn't it sometimes?
Speaker 4 (45:39):
But he's also very genuine.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Eyes.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Okay, next time.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
Just because it's in capitals doesn't.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Mean it's my joke.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Let me do it, Okay, I don't tell you what
to do. Kids party etiquette debate. Here we go with
an upcoming I'm curious what people consider normal etiquette these days.
We've always provided food and drink for parents too, but
with the rising cost of living, kids parties.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Are starting to feel like a luxury.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
There's a poll in the Facebook group where fifty eight
percent said yes to it and thirty percent said no.
And I'm assuming that's to feeding the parents as well.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Which can we.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Call April really quickly because she's currently struggling with this.
Please throwing Oscar a party all right, because he's hell
band on a soccer party. And Abra was like, I've
got all this stuff for the kids, but what about
the parents? And she offered in the invitation for it
to be a drop and go if you wish. If
you want to drop you kids off, that's fine. I
was like, we've already done more than enough by offering that,
(46:43):
so let's give her a call. I don't know what
we decided in the end because I wasn't listening. Holly
ay then, hey, you're just live on two doting dad
radio right now, quick question? Feeding parents at a party?
Where do we land on that?
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Oh, just keep me up at night. We haven't landed
because it was your job.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
Now it comes out?
Speaker 2 (47:10):
When was it my job?
Speaker 1 (47:12):
I was like, I need to help with something.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
When do you not start a sentence with that?
Speaker 1 (47:18):
In your life? It's fine?
Speaker 3 (47:19):
I can see. I can see this phone call was
a mistake.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
I see this phone call was a mistake, and I
regret it.
Speaker 5 (47:27):
Because you were like asked for numbers and I was like, no,
I don't want to know because I'll.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Just get something because we're not necessarily feeding them.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Remember that conversation.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Can I step in? Can I step in? I just
say that I don't think any parent goes to a
party expecting to be fed.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
I do.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
I think if there's a refreshment, a water, amazing, if
there's a bit of fairy bread going, I might nibble
on that you two should get a room. But I
don't think anyone's like, so is there a menu? Is there?
Like where?
Speaker 5 (47:57):
Where?
Speaker 1 (47:59):
Yeah? No one saying I'm not going to eat if
I go the kids party, because surely will be.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
A good spread there, I said.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
I said, we offered kid free drop off, so I
think that's enough.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Yeah, we said like stay or go.
Speaker 5 (48:09):
But I do just want like a little platter of
something that the parents can pick at by kids.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, a little cheese plate, if you will, very bread
on the cheese plate. If we must, like a bit
of coots chacoots bitter sel Armie shoo fada double bree.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
May you'll get into the double bree. Yeah, she hates
cheese but loves double bree.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
Yeah, what about that? What about coffees?
Speaker 7 (48:38):
Would you get coffees for the parents, because I think
I think that's where it gets expensive.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
What about I tell you what we'll do.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
We take the kettle and a jar and Macona really
give them the good stuff. Frankly there with his peppermint tea.
He'll have it in his jacket like a dealer. He'll
have it from all parts of the world. All right,
you've been very helpful.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
But still your job. Just so clear.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Okay, I'll see later.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
All right, see you letter, cheese cheese board. It is well, Ash,
that's all we have time for. It was really enjoyable
listening to your talk to April.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I think it was my job, but I forgot so
I shouldn't have called her because of now I look
like an idiot. No, never, I'm happy to look like
an idiot for the entertainment of the listeners.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
And if you haven't did this episode, we would love
it if you would give us a couple of reviews.
If you follows, just a couple of.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Little words subscribe, So you get it directly in your
inbox every week, and.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Also share it, share around, be generous.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Here's a challenge, share it to one friend.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
That's all we ask for and we you don't need evidence.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Just tell us you did.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
It and that's your homework for the week.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
And join us on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and YouTube.
All right, let's go bick.
Speaker 8 (49:55):
You got anything to say?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadaigle Land
Okay, power of nine? Really quick?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Give me two digits. Me two numbers, five and seven,
Five and seven, okay, is fifty seven?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now add those two together, you get five plus seven
is twelve.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Five plus seven is twelve. Yep, yeap.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Now you reduce, you go fifty seven less twelve. What
is that equal?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Fifty seven less twelve?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Forty five forty five? Now you put four and five together.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
What numbers that give you nine?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Boom?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
The power of nine. You can do with any number.
You are weirly good with numbers. What we like in maths.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Terrible because that my teacher had really short shorts and
I would nothing to do with him.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Welcome back to two Dating, Dad, Die, Matty, J and
I'm at And this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad, and the
power of nine. And we won't give advice. Now this
is a Monday episode. Is our house keeping episode.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Let's stick let's stick to that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
In short, it can mean anything. It's the smallest board
of discussions.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Or as my grandmother calls it, a Schnorkus board. I
don't know why, but she does.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I was never good at maths. Numbers confuse me.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You can do that with any number, any two numbers,
and all the way up to who taught you this? TikTok,
Give me another, Give me three numbers.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Three three and three three three. Oh my god, it's nine.
Oh my god, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Now if you reduce nine from three, three and three,
what do you end up with?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Zero?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (01:46):
If you reduce nine from three hundred and thirty three.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
No, now I need to do it.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You get twenty, You get three hundred and twenty four.
Now add three, two and four together.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
What do you get for Vick? Make them stop? You
get Yeah, you get nine.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
All the listeners are out there going pool. I don't
think they are okay whatever.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
I think they're like, what is.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
This parenting content?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
This is housekeeping studio update, Matt. What do you got
for me?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Okay? Look, we went all out. We blew the budget
once again. I think I I was like, it's gonna
cost a hundred bucks. And that's because I didn't realize
when I was getting a neon sign quoted it was
for ten centimeters, so I then got it sixty five centimeters.
It's about five hundred bucks. It's a great investment.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Hope that don't spell it wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
This is the ROI on this neon light is phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
It's gonna be posted every day on every story.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
We did say there's the option that's good gear that
is good gear, Option one, option two, the good, the bad,
and the relatable.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
We weren't with a good bad and relatable, didn't me?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yes, yeah, yes, I think it was a safe bad
because people were like, is that even a question?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You're idiot?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I was like, whoa, I know. They really came out
just like I was just like, hey, guys, here's what
I'm thinking. What do you reckon? They're all like, we
need to fucking come there and run this business for you,
because you guys are fucking stupid.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Actually, that sounds pretty good. We'll hand it over, hand
it over of course, help us, help us. We did
need to get furniture, and we did source furniture, a
little bit of it from Facebook Marketplace, and I just
so happened to be living with the Facebook Marketplace. Bully
(03:24):
Bully Shelves got some shelves, as you know. Yes, now
I inquired about these shelves. Yes, they're still available. The
lovely lady, her name was Margaret.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
She was very old. May I stop you right there,
the floating shelves or a bookshelf, bookshelf, bookshelf, bookshelf, because
you did say shelves, sorry, bookshelf.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yes, I said, is it available? Yes, it's one hundred
dollars for these shelves. I had a look at who
was selling them. She's probably eighty names Margaret. Yep, that's
how she sounded too classic. And April good on Margaret
for knowing how to run a Facebook. Oh yeah, April
didn't get of fuck about how old Margaret was.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
She's like, or for a fifty, I'm like, what was
the asking price? One hundred? I'm like, poor Margaret, she's
on a fixed income. She's a pension. She was like,
I'm getting a hundred bucks. No you're not.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It was like fifty, staunching fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I'm like, no, I'm not, I'm not. Was the fifty
based on like market valued appreciation? Or was she just
like harve it, yeah, harve it.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
She goes, you're always going to go in half. I'm like, fuck, now,
why do we get nothing the other things I really want?
She's going in Harvard. I didn't know this until now,
And I was like, okay, no, I'm going to just
offer what it's on there, just get the deal done.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
In her eighties, imagine that like poor thing going She's
getting on and then.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
She's like, I would have lived longer if they had
just given me the full hundred instead of just beating
me down to fifty.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
It's like a couple of hot meals at the RSL,
like a little game of Kino.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
To be fair, she didn't live Beachfront, but I didn't
know this until I went to pick it up.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Anyway, Avery was like, did you make a help you
carry it? I'm like, she's eighty.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
She's like so, I'm like, jees, you're ruthless. So anyway,
we've got the shelves for how much bucks?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I wasn't. It's annoying when that happens, you know, when
you give it to you you're paying someone and you're
like I want them to be a battler, like I
want to be helping them out, and when they're like,
oh yeah, pretty well to do. Like I had a
piece of furniture that I tried to sell. Couldn't sell
it on Facebook marketplace straight through? You didn't they? And
I was like, do you know what we're moving out
of the apartment, and I was like, I'm just gonna
(05:35):
fucking give it away like it was given to us.
So we were like, what.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
You were trying to profit of something that was given
to you?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, How am I setting traps
for me?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Godamn?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And I was like, do you know what, I'm just
going to give it away.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
That's the worst thing you can do.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And then and then within like second, someone was like,
I'll be there when.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
The entitlement of people when you're giving something away. So
they're like, say, are you giving something your way? And
you get these messages it is still available, It is
still available, It's still available, like yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
And people, can you deliver it to me?
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Like what did? She rocked up in a Mercedes and
I was like you you should be paying for this this,
you fucker. Yeah, you don't deserve this. She was rich,
I know, and it's like, says brand new.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And we went and picked up these bunk beds from
a ritzy suburb on the Northern Beaches pretty far north.
I think you can pick up what I'm putting down anyway.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Are you picking up pick Like Palm Beach have a lot.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
That sort of area. That sort of I don't want
to in case they're listening, who we can lose one
or two?
Speaker 4 (06:39):
They like to hear that I reckon.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Really that I can hear that I get to their
house to pick up these two hundred dollars set of
bunk beds were well used. They might add turn up
to their brand new house to fucking like half a
million dollar cars in the fucking driveway, and you're like
battling me for two hundred bucks. That's probably what they have.
All this sort of that's it. Yeah, they're fucking waters.
They're like fish, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Northern beaches people, and they got a micro climate up then.
But also the green color. I've never seen such an
outpouring of opinion do the wrong one since like the
last election. Oh really maybe we should run for don't
don't come on? Enough enough of that, But the colors did?
I not say Pharaoh's gem.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I think you'll find it's Pharaoh's gem.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's what I said, pharaohs gem.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I said that that was slang for for testicles back
in the old timing day.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Pharaoh's gem, Pharaoh's of Egypt. Yeah, pharaoh, okay, pharaoh. You
know when you want to correct me, Vic.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You can do it off off, he's in he's in denial.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
A very good pharaoh's gems.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Pharaoh, Look how you say, oh, my crown jewels, my
pharaoh's gems.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I liked it. You liked it as well.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I did like Farah's gem.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
That is it was option two for those playing at home.
That is the color we have gone with. And it
looks phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
It looks very The only problem I've got with the
swatches is that it took how many coaches to cover?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Those watches are twenty four? Fuck? Can now you can
still see it?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
We have to put a picture over it, a Neon sign.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
If you will, I'll let it be known to everyone
listening right now that I organized the moving of a
light switch.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You did do a very good job of that, said.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
The light switch.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You did something.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Thank you, Thank you very well. Thank you. So this
will be maybe one of the last records. Maybe.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, we're getting there. We're getting close, man. I don't
know if you recall we talked about cloth nappies a
couple of.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Weeks ago, and the fact that Beth, your sister, claimed
she was gonna use cloth nappies. The baby came along
all of a sudden, cloth nappies, where are they? No
one knows se.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
No to be seen. But my parents did use cloth
nappies on her, apparently, but when they got to me,
they were like, fucking loam. That was back in the
nineties that were progressive.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I will say, I don't know who these people they
are coming out with this, like stop trying to pretend
like cloth nappies are good. They're not good.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I feel like some people just really want to get
knuckles deep and shit, like you got to clean it,
Like I just.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
I don't have time.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Imagine having a buckead full of shitty cloth nappies at
the end of each day, after already having a shit day.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Two things on the cloth nappies, yes, apparently apparently because
we were like, what are you gonna do, like go
to the toilet then like empty the poop into the
toilet to then wash the nappy. And then people were like,
we got to do that anyway with normal nappies.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I tend to agree and disagree on this one because
if it's already wet, quite wet and absorbed by the nappy,
I'm not putting any extra effort in to get that out.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Because obvious it's going to go to landfill.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
But if it's a mazy shit, which we've seen, which
are pythons that pretty much like that the water bottle,
it's begging to go on the toilet because I'm not
going to wrap that. It's like wrapping a present or
a pass the parcel for someone else.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Like when my baby's there on the change table, I
don't have time to Yeah, I'm just I'm working efficiently.
But Jemma has said just a little insight into cloth
nappies in regards to the poos. If it's solid, it
goes straight in the toilet. If it's just milk new
bond poop, it gets rinsed in the laundry sink. And
if you're breastfeeding only it is actually water soluble and
(10:19):
can go straight in the wash bruh. Just look also
just a fi Also, the poo is meant to go
in the toilet even if you use disposable nappies. It's
written in the box. I'm not reading the box. Who's
reading the box of the nappies? And sorry, Gemma, I'm
not attacking you.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I have dumped the shit into the toilet before. But
if it's a solid not if it's any running whatsoever.
I'm not no bag and target bag and taget straight
in and sometimes I'll double bag it.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
So we receive these.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Little messages slash comments on the Facebook group, which is
an amazing place to be if you're a parent, becausere's
a lot of tips and tricks in there, which we
didn't really establish it to be like that, but it
seems to have worked out that way.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Which is like that was always the plan?
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Was it? Thing?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I wasn't in that meeting boring Those people who are
in the basebook group, they have the official title of
being doughtos. I wouldn't know because I'm never in there.
You do it once a month every now and well
that I keep keep him wanting more. You're like the
divorced father who Daddy went out for milk comes back
(11:24):
once in a while and he's like, I forgot something, daddy.
We go in the park. No, shut up, Timmy.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I like a few things that I'm like.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Everyone's like, was that? Who was that? Ash? What are
you doing? The pantheron Panthon. We did get a big
response on the panther people were do you know who
didn't respond? Though probably non parents, the panther themselves. I
was like, do you want to sponsor the book?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah, that's a free plug they got.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Someone even said like, come on the panting, give the guys,
give them some money, give me, give us some panther please.
The studio we had to pay Margaret full price. Actually
we got speaking of bank accounts, we are poor. That
don't count right now? Is empty? That's the way I like,
I'd like to be backed into a corner like that.
And you're the one who was like, we should pay
(12:09):
ourselves some money. And I was like, yeah, once and
now we've done that. We got no money? Have we
paid Dan? Yet? It is Dan? I paid Dan. That's
where it paut him half. Was like, offer him half
there in the corner.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
She should coming for all negotiations.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
That's her only move.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Though they're like no, She's like, okay, I tried, I tried.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I tried.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
We actually paid double.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
All right, I got the panthon Lady of Various Sorrows?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Is it? What?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
That's her Instagram name?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Lady?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Usually I mispronounced names, but now I'm just like, what
is this?
Speaker 4 (12:49):
And there was no other name on that?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
She says, how w index is for the family. In
My big fat Greek wedding is the pantheon is for
my family. Anything is wrong, I'm told to put the
pantheron on it. For those of you who don't understand
the reference, I don't get it. My big fact Greek wedding.
You know the movie Love It? It was an old movie.
The dad of that. He seems to think that windex
(13:12):
can go on any ailment, okay, from the riasis.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
To windecks wind x windecks.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Throughout the movie, there's little bits of the movie where
he'll someone be like, I've got this on my thing,
and then he'll come out another and spray with wind decks.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Really, yeah, I remember that in the movie. Are you sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
One day he was washing his windscreen with his windex
and he saw something on his hand and he sprayed
it anyway, cleared up immediately apparently, but he swears by it,
and it's it's such a dad thing to really fixate.
Like my grandfather used to think metho would fix everything,
So whenever I'd hurt myself, he'd be chasing me around
the house with a rag of methoat.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Go figure.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
He was an alcoholic anyway, he's dead.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
How did he laugh?
Speaker 6 (13:54):
But that's okay, that's okay because he's been dead for
what A little shit literally changed.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Me around the house with a bottle of metho. I
remember one time I fell off my bike and my
nan was such a such like a caring she would
redress everything every day, like I felt really bad. Gravel
rash along my side when I was a kid, and
he was just like, you.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
Know, I could fix this.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Come here, son, speak for me, speak for you.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Rest in peace, yeah, rest in yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Look, this is the last plug. I'm going to give
the panthon because I am paying us those fuckers. But
apparently Laura, her feet they are that's what we got
time for. They are like sandpaper. I have never seen
something suck up so much moisture like the second she
puts any type of moisturizer on her feet, I actually
(14:47):
doesn't need a flows out like scientists need to do
some kind of study on her. Like I've never seen
a part of the body just forever be so dry.
It is impossible for moisture to stay there for longer
than three seconds. And I sometimes in bed, they'll run
past me and she cuts me open. My like traxic
(15:08):
bottoms have been shredded. A wake up, and I'm like,
what happened in law was like yesterday we saw a lizard.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It kind of looked like that lizards.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Someone said, but panther and on the on the scaly feet.
So I'm yet to put it on her feet with
your wife and her.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Feet, she puts them. She washes them in the sink
like she does with the hands when she ever she
says that. I just picture her like her feet rubbing
together like with sober in the middle like that the
sink like you would with your hands.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
And now you're like, they're so dry it and also
pick anything up off the floor?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Is she a monkey?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Hang? Hang on a second, moving right along. It was
so quick.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
No, we need to be it was the political global
state of the country.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
We need to be serious. We've fucked around too long
in this episode. We're running an hour behind schedule.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Well that's part of the point of this episode, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I apologize, Okay, carry on. I want to talk about
New South Wales transport. Okay, you were having a dig
about them.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I was having a dig in New South Wal's revenue. Ah,
I threatened me with what I didn't pay a parking fine.
They're like, we didn't take your license off here. It's like,
well that's not fair because I wasn't in the car
when it was parked, So why am I being punished
for being in the car.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
But when they say we'll take your license off you,
it's like it's like a parent saying we'll turn.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
This car right around, or it's like like a school
yard where it's like.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
I'm just taking back home.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Here, me me, me me mayor.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
So New South Wales revenue.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Fuck you? Oh god, that's fine, Let's move on to
someone else news that I was transport. They have released
badges and I think my only reference point for these
types of badges they're the baby on board badges is
when I was in London, because I once lived in
London four years?
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Was that where you got a slight accent?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
That that is?
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It's a terrific accent.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
It's meant to be bad, do you know? Because I'm
mocking you?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
WHOA, Yeah, there's a lot of venomin that Vick. What
do you over there?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
What are you doing?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You're needing a jump hard?
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Are you trying to untangle a chain?
Speaker 1 (17:16):
You need some winds need a panthon on that thing.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I'm listening while I do it.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Do your hobbies in your own time.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Do your hobbies in your own time.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
She's like, I just have untangling things. When you finished
the episode with like Vic was out, She's like, oh,
that's great episode. Mean, while she's got a jewelry shots
up in front of her.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Is that over there?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
There's a lot of paying you right now.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I know she's definitely that's something she'd do as well.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
It's back in order.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
It's like, look, big, you're over there just watching that
conversation happen. Do you mind making jewelry for us?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Is that a Tony May necklace?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
It's not, Actually, well.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
That's the that's the problem, would tangle.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I like that Tony May get all your gold and
silver goods that Tony May doc today.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Thank you, Laura.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
We need some advertising. We do need some.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
To Laura.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
When Laura's like, why is there invoice from two knowing
dads are four thousand dollars ash bludge, He's never bought anything.
Speaker 4 (18:13):
They should sponsor us though.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm not out there like Tony yet to
find them. I love your baby's compressed that's a great label.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
I'm looking at you down the eyes. Okay, carry on.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
That was Transport.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
That's what good time for? Are we going to get through?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
At this end of that? I feel sorry for the
listeners so they have, really sorry for them. They having
a great time. I can say that, but you can't.
My sister did say she's like you guys have like
you started yelling a lot in the episodes.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Sorry, Like there's.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
A lot of like, Hi, oh no, I can't hear
what just had.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Having our wrong conversation.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Honestly, I forget that all this is here.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
We've both got dementia.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Next week we're going to age Gracey.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Sorry, Transport. This is my fourth attempt. Okay, so I
lived in London. Right in London, they used to have it.
I know you keep reminding it, baby, because we'll show
some interest for what I'm not interested. You know, I
pretend to be into your stories.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
You don't pretend you just ah got me, like, come on,
hurry up.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
They have baby on board badges, and I think it
makes sense in London because people often wear like big
jackets coats. It's hard to tell when someone is pregnant.
It's cold, it's very cold in London. That's I'm sure miserable.
Some would say absolutely depressing in fact. But now Soell's
Transport have adopted that idea. So if you're pregnant, you
(19:53):
can request a badge says baby on board. Okay, yeah,
I like it. So if you're pregnant, you can request
the baby on board badge that you wear to then
tell the other passengers on the public transport that you
are in fact pregnant. And people ash have been mixed
in their responses to this.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
It's for those courteous people see that get up and go, hey,
here's my seat because you are you are with child, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
The people who think it's a bad thing, they believe
like we don't have to spoon feed people like do
we really need a badge to be like big courteous
to me, Like, surely it's just common sense to give
your seat up someone who's pregnant.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
The people that are saying that do they have not
access to any form of technology and see that everyone
needs to be spoon fed everything all the time.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Because we are really dumber.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
How can someone get upset with courtesy? I am pissed
off with you, Matt, because you were so courteous, doesn't
make any sense.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
There is one comment here, ash and it says it
depends how pregnant they are. Pregnancy is not n illness.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
No one said it was. But it's also uncomfortable for
a mom.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
With she's growing, so a lot of yelling, just growing
a child, throwing the baby. The baby's a big grown
in there. It's hard work.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
The only illness that's involved is like mourning sickness, right,
morning illness, and like, actually.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
So it is an it's a parasite.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Yeah, it is a parasite.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Are we wrong? Actually is an illness?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
It's still can't you get up for both?
Speaker 7 (21:15):
Well, actually, when I look at this, because that really
pissed me off, that comment, and it came from a woman,
but someone right underneath. No, but it's a time of
altered physiology. Lower blood pressure in early pregnancy plus morning
sickness means standing up on public transport is challenging at times.
Plus relaxing and shifted center of gravity on later pregnancy
can make standing on public transport challenging. And as someone
who has been through.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
It, it's really hard.
Speaker 7 (21:37):
And like it's all consuming and the one time you
actually get to have a rest is when you get
off your feet, and if no one's standing up for
you on the bus, then what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
And people are fuckwards? People are fuckwards, but also you're
well said, thank you. Do you know what the problem
is with people? There's having too many of them? No,
but I do think. I do think because there is
a comment here and it says I got offer a
seat when I was thirty six weeks pregnant, but not
at twelve weeks, when the likelihood to be passing out
was far higher. I was sturdier in the third trimester,
(22:09):
and I think that's the problem. If you're twelve weeks
pregnant and you're feeling like shit and you have a
jacket on or a coat, you don't look pregnant. Let's
put this way.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
All through April was our first pregnancy with Oscar. We
got on the bus together every morning to the city. Okay,
it's so cute, by the way, forty thank you, forty
five minutes. I would make sure that we would get
a seat, okay, even if that man having to drive
to an earlier spot, like an earlier pickup spot to
get a seat because her morning ticket was so bad
(22:38):
but she was so committed to her job and wouldn't
take a fucking uber or wouldn't she wouldn't let me
drive or anything like that. She's too proud. But there's
so many times that we would get off the bars
because she was so uncomfortable. Imagine adding standing in the mix.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Okay, would she ever bring a bag with her?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Every time.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
And she would spew up seventy percent of the time.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
And I would take the spewbag with me and put
it in the bin on the way to my office
so they she didn't have to deal with that.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
What a guy think?
Speaker 7 (23:06):
Also what a woman like? Women are amazing, Yeah, but
also very chivalrous.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
I think, thank you, This is all about me. I
think the bare minimum. Okay, I'm gonna put this out
there right now. I don't care if someone comes to me.
If you're a man and you see a pregnant woman
get on the bus and you don't get up to
give her your seat, you're a fucking idiot, full stop.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
You're not a man.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
You're not a man, You're a mouse. Where's the cheese.
Speaker 7 (23:29):
There was one comment, though, which I think is fair,
is like, this would be great if everyone actually looked
up from their phones.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Yeah, that too, but I just think it's it's common.
It doesn't You're not actually hurt even if you offer
it and they say no, no, no, it's fine. You have
gone one step better than the people that don't even
have the common courtesy, the decency, or the fucking stones
to get up and say, here is my seat. What
do you think is going to happen? You're gonna sit there,
comfortable and you're listening to whatever it is you're fucking
(23:55):
doing on your phone, completely able to stand up for
thirty minutes of your life, been sitting on your ass
at the desk all day, fucking get over yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, Vick, would you ever be in a situation where
you were not offered a seat when you were pregnant?
Speaker 7 (24:09):
The only time that I didn't get off of a seat,
it was like that thing where someone's looking down. So
I'm not afraid to say, like, hey, look at my
giant belly. But I think these badges are great because
that first trimester is horrific.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Got that bad is it?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
It's just a guy I would not for his seat.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
And no one knows you're pregnant.
Speaker 7 (24:31):
You're not showing but you feel the most sick that
you will and have ever felt in your whole life.
And it's not in the morning, it's all fucking day.
It's every day of the week. It's relentless. And I
remember having to stand on a bus and hold onto
that little bloody thing and be waving around. You've like
I've already got low blood pressure, and I just remember
being like, don't throw up.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Don't.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
And then if you, let's put this way, if you're
on a bus with a pregnant woman and that has
experiencing more hoarding sickness and she doesn't have a spare
hand to actually catch her vomit, mate.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
It's gonna be worse for you. And I always say to.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
My kids, it is so much easier in life to
be nice than it is to not be nice. And
being nice and giving your seat up is one. It's
gonna make someone go what a nice guy, And second
or woman whatever, and second of all, we're gonna feel
good about yourself for doing that for someone.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
So it's so much easier to be nice. Does that
mean you're gonna be nicer to me? No, that's rich.
I think I'm going to go one step further New
South Wells Transport. You've got enough bloody money. There's so
many toll roads here in Sydney. We should have specially
designed buses that are beds for pregnant women. Just a recliner, yeah,
just reclining. You guys can request. You're like, I'm in
the Northern Beaches. I want to go to the city
(25:41):
and then the bed bus comes. A maternity bus.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Yes, yeah, I reckon. The maternity bus would be great.
Speaker 7 (25:46):
You could have a great chats, give you SIPs and
hags two doting dad's maternity.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Bus and the bus drivers topless.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Last thing you're thinking about when you're pregnant.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Fair, fair, I'll just trying to give myself a job.
He just really wants to get his kid off just
really quickly. When my wife Laurie may have heard her name.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Once or twice, just heard about her feet.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
When it was Christmas time a couple of years back.
Trying to find a car park, she had Marley in
the car screaming. Finally found a car park in the
Pram Parks at the Westfield and she was waiting for
one and then as a car came out, another car
came the other way and it didn't see Laura or
like nab the park and Laura was like, hey, come
(26:33):
on man, like I was. I was waiting and she
didn't have a kid in the car and she goes,
you don't even have a child, and she goes, you
chose to be pregnant and then didn't give a car
park up.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
I can see what generation that person was wrong. I
can see it.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Boomer o.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Man can't wait till they all die out.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Sorry, mom, Right after he said it costs nothing to
be nice, it does cost nothing to be nice.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
But I think if you can't give up, you see,
you've got bigger fucking problems.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Mate, Ash, it is time for.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
Tell me loud, tell me little loud.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Actually, this is just a very quick parenting lie. And
I've missed these. I know it's been a while because
someone has to keep talking about the variety, you know,
And you want.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Me to be nice to you.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Okay, So this one is from Danielle. This is the
best parenting lie ever. I'll be the judge of that. Danielle.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Yeah, that's very Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
No, Okay, I'm constantly late to work because my son
is so slow getting ready because he doesn't want to
go to daycare. I feel that today I told him
when I'm late to work, I have to go to
time out. He's never been ready so fast and in
the car ready to go. So mummy doesn't have to
go to time out. That isn't That is good. That
is very really good.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
And I like if you're not a time out family,
because people parent differently, you can swap that out to
be whatever it is that the punishment is at your house.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Do you guys have at your schools for your children?
Do they have like a noughty corner? We have the
thinking corner.
Speaker 7 (28:15):
Yeah, soft I think it's like a thinking or a
timeout corner.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
We have the whipping corner where you get whipped. That
was that was when I went to school.
Speaker 5 (28:23):
Poor.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I was eight times yesterday. I was like, She's like,
I had nothing else to think about.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
We really softened absolutely everything having we at school. It's
like a thinking corner is the corner where it's like
you're being in a little ship, go and think about it.
I suppose it works, yeah, and I kind of like it.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Ash. We also have now just moving along very quickly.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
You say two songs another song of.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
The song oh yeah, song, Yeah, it's time for this one.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
One of the previous You say, what, Man.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
I feel like a parent? Parants, Matt.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
This is where parents send us things they want to
get off their chests. Doesn't have to be about parenting,
but I suppose it, says parans. So people just go
that way.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
These are long rants. There's a long rants. Ash take
it away. You go first?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
Am I going to go first? With Michael? I can
pronounce that one?
Speaker 1 (29:16):
What is the go?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I love when they start on what's the go?
Speaker 3 (29:20):
What's the go?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
With those skills tests? At every pub right next to
the playground. They are like Pokey's for kids. I'm assuming
hi means the claw machines. Yes, And you get there
and you tell your kids they're broken and all good
until that one kid somehow gets money and puts it
in the machine, and then it's on bolt carry ons,
Especially if you're there for dinner. They're a bit tired
(29:42):
and lose their mind when you say no. We have
to get a petition out to get them removed from
all the pubs. Let the kids play in the park
and the dads have their beer. No carry on from
the kids. Ps. I love the pot You keep me
up on some rough drives home from night shift. Oh
that's great, thanks, Michael. I agree because they're part of
the road from me, which has it's sort of the
(30:03):
only indoor playground in the area. So as soon as
it does rain and you want to get the kids
out for play in the park, but there's no parks
up and obviously because it's raining, you go there, it's
already echo as fuk and then you're throwing these machines
that are there that the kids just don't even see,
the part tunnel vision, and there's always one kid who's
allowed to do it, which ruins that. I think either
(30:25):
get rid of them, or as parents we should agree
only use it if there's literally no one else there,
because once one kid has a go and one of
them is a chocolate one where we are and we
are right rocket.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
Not only that, but they're also in shopping centers.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Now, Yeah, it's an epidemic. Yeah, they're everywhere.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
They're spreading.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
They're spreading before we know they'll be in schools. Are
they really making that much money off them? I'd love
to know. I know there's been times where I put
in like twenty bucks for a fucking little Mars bar
have you. You're part of the problem. I know. Well
that's the thing. I was like, I have one go
And the next thing, Laura was like, why are you
still there? And I was like, I'll be home late, honey.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Just a full blown gambling, like I'm gonna win it
all back babe in chocolate man, Yeah, it all counts.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Well, why is it four thousand dollars missing from the account?
And I was like, ah, Cherry.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Ripe on the back says, don't sell separately.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
It was worth it.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
I know.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
We've got some of the movies and it's just there's
a little like one exit, one little pathway to leave
the movies, and there's three machines there and there are all
the machines are like bingo, come over here, kids, we love.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
You know, flashy lights of music. You're fucked anyway. We
canna be here all dinging about those things.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
This one is from Rachel. Hello Rachel, is there a
secret mother in law handbook that says, when in doubt
by grandkids, the largest, loudest, most aggressively colored toy known
to mankind bonus points if it plays music that you
cannot turn off, Like thank you truly. The kids love it,
but of course they do. But if we walk past
this in the shops, it would be a hard no
(31:56):
from me. I take the tantrum over it. But now
these hit his toys are here, sitting in my living room,
taunting me, assaulting my senses, and violently adding to my
daily overstimulation. I don't want to sound ungrateful, almost I
I just don't understand why every gift has to look
like a carnival exploded to my house.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
I've got a solution for this. And whenever a parent
of mine, or a parent of Aprils or another family
member buys any toy that I think immediately will annoy
the shit out of me, which is a majority of
then it's at their house toy. So you insulting, we
love this. What we might do is, because I've got
heaps toys at our players might leave this one here
(32:38):
so when they care and play, they can play with it.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
And then also you get to enjoy it, not me.
That's very good, thank you, that's very good. It worked
with a carryoak machine. It never left the box. Do
you want to know what Lala picked up recently? Have
a look at this toy?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Oh you got it. Show and tell love that I
told you my sister gave Oscar a kazoo.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Oh God, that's terrible.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
She knew it.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
She's better than that.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Come on, cloth nappies and kazoos.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
What wow, I'm not gonna like I like it. Yeah,
I know, I've never seen Ash's face light up so much,
but it does this.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Now I hate it.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
It is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
So it's a magic wand a pink magic wand that
has a crown at the top, and it's got the
sort of plastic sphere with a love heart in there,
and as you press the button, it spins the love
heart with these neon lights. And then it has some
beautiful music to go with it. And it's always when
turned off. It's always when Poppy is just gone to sleep.
(33:37):
And then Lola finds out that I've in a place
that I've hidden it, and it fucking just wakes everyone up.
So annoying but phallic at the other end. Come on, Ash, well,
it is I call a spade a spade.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Kids are like moths. You whip a light on like that,
and now, especially little girl, I know that's magic. Who
got you that?
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Princess?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
I don't know. It was Nana playing Nana.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
Yeah, and she lives with you, so she has to
deal with it.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I lives in her room. Now there you go. Hey, Hash,
we have one more song before we go. One more song.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Now you need us more than ever, know that we
still have each other. You can send sure doting dilemma.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
You can send shure donting dilemma.
Speaker 4 (34:24):
Ella, Ella, And.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Okay, this is from Lauren, who is sent in an
audio message. May I play it for you?
Speaker 2 (34:33):
Please?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (34:34):
There's someone else is doing the work around here.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
Hey, Maddie Nash. My name's Lauren, and my husband and
I are both big fans of the podcast. Were first
time parents to a five month old boy, and the
other day my husband sent me a message saying that
he feels lonely. Before having our baby. He was and
still is the one in his boys group chat checking
in on everyone else, asking how the weeks going, and
organizing monthly pub catch ups. His text message said, I'm
(34:57):
sad that I don't get to hang out with people
like what you have with your mum's group. I'm really
happy that you've got that. Yes, I come to work,
but I'm not working with mates. All we talk about
is work stuff. None of my mates suggest catching up
after work or on the weekends, and they hardly ever
apply to messages. It honestly broke.
Speaker 4 (35:14):
My heart reading it.
Speaker 5 (35:15):
It's especially sad because two of his closest mates already
have young kids and they're all obsessed with my husband.
We even created a monthly parenting group via our local
community facebook page in order to meet other couples, which
is actually how my mum's group formed. I don't really
know what to do to help him, other than set
up playdates with the husband's from mum's group. Have either
of you experienced this? I know loneliness is something a
(35:37):
lot of dads go through after becoming dads, and do
you have any suggestions for helping dads build those connections?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Again?
Speaker 5 (35:44):
Thanks guys again, love the podcast.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
First of all, we're your friends. Okay that's your first one,
but ah fuck it's tough.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
A Do you want to remind ash the time when
he once said I have enough friends, I don't need anymore?
Speaker 4 (36:00):
Which time this is the new improved.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
That was.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
It's true though, I'm just a likable guy.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Look, can I just remind people of your situation when
Oscar was born, you found a unicorn parents group.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Oh it was like, yeah, I got friends from outside
of that trying to get into this group.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Still like of course everything that Ash touches turns to
bloody goals, just like this podcast. So and how did
you find that mother's group parents group?
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Sorry, it was firstborn mother's group. So based on the
community where we were at post code geographical location, they
April sort of got grouped in with a bunch of
other mums that thankfully we were. They just seemed to
all get on. There was a couple that were doing
their own thing, there was there's no mouse towards that.
But like the core group that continued, they all put
(36:52):
in the effort. Like she just said, then he's the
guy who checks in, so it's kind of like he's
trying to put the effort in. But blokes are useless, right,
we know that, And like unless you've got other people
that want to put a similar effort in, which you know,
we could have easily been like met with them once
or twice and then not put the effort in.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
But did you ever feel at any point through your
early years of parenting did you feel lonely?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Only when I had to drop Oscar and April off
to a mental hospital for that brief time where I
was sort of isolated but and didn't feel like.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I could talk to anyone about it.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
But that's a very different situation. I can see how
easily it would be to feel isolated if you are
spending majority of your energy is going to go towards
your family and your kid, and I can see how
it's like sometimes you don't have that outlet, you could
feel lonely. I can't say that I felt lonely in
that aspect. I could see how hard it would be.
What about you, did you when you had Mali? Did
(37:49):
you guys have a mother's group or I mean, I
can see why they set them up, but a lot
of them don't work.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Yeah, it wasn't really Laura's vibe. She wasn't that into
it and she got put with a few other people
and they didn't really click. So then it wasn't something
that we relied on. But man, I yeah I felt
lonely as I really, yeah, I didn't. There wasn't a
lot of friends of mine who were having kids. They
were from Queensland originally they were moving back to the
Gold Coast. So I found myself in a situation where
a lot of friends had moved into state all of
(38:17):
a sudden. The friends that were still here didn't have kids,
and they didn't want to hang out with me. Because
there was a couple of days a week Thursday Fridays
in the early years, I would have Marley, Marley and Lola.
It was like the daddy daughter day and I was like,
I guess it's just us, like it was me and
my sister, but I didn't have there were no guy
mates that I could rely on to be on the
(38:37):
same page. And my neighbor I remember, was like, oh,
what are you doing on Thursdays? I know you've got
the kids. Do you want to come to this community group?
And I was like, yeah, I'd love too, sure, And
I was the only dad there and they were all
really lovely, but it was only like really top line yeah,
Like I did feel very much like like why is
he here? Yea, And it wasn't. It was a different
(38:59):
type of friendship. And then the guys that I did
hang out with, if ever i'd want to talk about parenting,
a lot of the time I would almost see their
faces glaze over when I was like, Hey, Marley's got
this sleep schedule and it's really tricky, and oh gosh,
she's you know, dealing with this right now. I could
just tell it was like I was talking about paint drying.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
And I think, like going back to the episode, we
did be tim with boys, same with blokes. A shared
purpose like the walking group, there's a shared purpose there
where they've all gone, Okay, well we want to get out.
We want to get out of the house. These kids
me to get out of the house. We're all dads.
There's a shared purpose. Let's go and do it. So
it might be the fact like community sport too. I
don't know if he plays sport or something like that.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
I think they when you're talking about community sport, we're
in a real change of parenting habits. There's so many
dads out there where you can talk about sport, but
if he wants to talk about hey, I'm finding it
really tough with my five month old. He's not sleeping
at the moment. A lot of a lot of men
not to generalize here, but a lot of men don't
have enough hours clocked up in that department where they
can understand what he's going through offer any type of advice.
(40:01):
So it's hard. I just meant the connection itself. Sometimes
you want to feel connected. Like I didn't feel like
I ever had guy mates that I could talk to
about parenting outside of you. This is kind of like
the first time where I had another a man who
I could speak to, who would understand the topics that
I wanted to talk about specific to parenting.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
You're right, yeah, because I mean that that group could be. Yeah,
we could have those who have all the hours clocked
up and those who don't.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
But also I think a game change is when you
start daycare and you start you start school because we
all pick ups and stuff. That's it. You can start
to have play dates. I think it's really hard when
you're not in that world yet where you are getting
introduced to new parents. I mean I got lucky as well,
Like not that you want to try and like hunt
out friends at the park, but we did. Laura and
(40:47):
I shout out to Melenenzo. We met them at the
park and it just happened that, like the kids were
kind of playing close to each other and like, you know,
we met. But there were many times in the park
where I was like I just want to talk to someone.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Yeah, that's yeah, Yeah, it's so tough. I mean, I
see you when I feel you and like, yeah, I
can imagine it would be because I don't know where
I'll be if I didn't have friends that were in
similar boat at the time, because you're right, you lean
on them so much that if you don't have that
to lean on that you can only and I know,
like his wife would be like, oh, you talk to
(41:19):
me about it. It's like, yeah, I want to talk
to you about it. But also sometimes you want to
talk to someone completely different about it and build a
bond and a relationship with someone who's going through the
same things as you are all the time, want to
you know what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 7 (41:31):
Talking about team connection and stuff, a lot of parents
have to give up team sport once they become parents,
so they lose that connection as.
Speaker 4 (41:37):
Well because become so time poor.
Speaker 7 (41:41):
Yeah, and if you've got a new mum, you don't
want to be like being like, hey.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Enjoy the baby, I'm just going to go play football.
Speaker 7 (41:47):
Like, yes, it's great to keep that up, but a
lot of dads I know do struggle with that. The
recent statistics show that The highest prevalence of social disconnection
in the core parenting years happens in those first five years,
and that's because you are doing a lot more baby
stuff and a lot less socializing. But a big part
of it is the fact that our workplaces. It's getting
(42:08):
better now, but have it traditionally helped us keep those
social connections because all we're doing is looking after a
baby and then going to work, and then looking after
a baby and then going to work. Very true, and
it creates this really vicious psychicle.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
The only other time we got is that community where
you're give it up your seat for pregnant women.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
Call back about Dan. Did Dan have a community of
dads that he found.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
Well, it was through me.
Speaker 7 (42:35):
So my mother's group was my lifeline and I relied
on them very heavily for baby milestones, baby behavior, what
the fuck's happening with my baby? All those sorts of
questions that you're constantly asking. But because Dan's at work,
I need someone else to ask. And so luckily we
had a great group of dads who were partnered with
these mums, and so then he got to start meeting
(42:56):
other dads through that. But he was also like like
where's the dad's groups?
Speaker 4 (43:00):
Like why do not?
Speaker 7 (43:01):
Why don't we get a dad's group because you get
to talk to each other about all this stuff happening
to you. I would like to talk to someone about
how I'm feeling, probably.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Like with men that old, lame, lame culture that's been lame,
you know what I mean, which is.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
The systems that are set up are prioritizing mums as
it should be, and I think it's going to take
a little while for there to be enough dad. Similar
to this guy who's like, hey, I want the group
as well for it to be formed, and it's annoying
that he's at the forefront here of that change and
it's going to take a while for the systems to
catch up.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 7 (43:33):
Yeah, And I think it's also just it can also
hurt a little bit when you're the one who organizes
everything and then it's finally your turned for people to
help you out and they're.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
All in short. But I also think I'm finding friends.
I don't want to underestimate how hard it is to
find really good friends, Like it's like dating, you know,
you're trying to find a life partner, Like like if
I lose Ash, I'm fucked. Yeah, I don't know, be
fine though, but you know you've got to like not
that you want to become disheartened, but there are definitely
(44:06):
dads out there that this dad hasn't met yet who
will become good friends. Because he sounds like an awesome guy.
He's putting in an effort and he wants to find
that connection. He's just got to try and find the
right people. And it hasn't happened yet, but it will
as long as he keeps trying. And we are your friend,
and if all else fails, we will be here every
Monday and Tuesday Wednesday. So yes.
Speaker 7 (44:27):
One other thing I will add though, is that when
you do become parents, and I don't know if you
guys can attest to this, maybe not, Ash, but your
friendships change after you become a parent, and some of
them just fall by the wayside and some of them
grow stronger. And that's just a part of life, and
it's a shitty part of life. But you will start
to see who are your true friends and who are
the ones that are sometimes friends.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
And like, full credit to my friend Miles who's so
far away from having kids, but.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
He credit to the bulls.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
He puts in the effort. With all of us that
have friends, He'll just reach out very.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
The got these great through his friends are all amazing.
Speaker 7 (45:04):
That's why he's such an amazing guy.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
Got her on board, that's amazing. Anything else to doing that? Jewelry,
anything else you got that, you're like beating all of
us other parents, ash? What else is there? What else
is there? Even lucked out at? Amazing?
Speaker 2 (45:17):
It's not like I put in the work. I don't know.
I've heard about that. I thought.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
You're just hanging on here, man, I know, don't. I
don't argue that. So being nicer to me is what
I'm trying to say. You'd be nicer to me. I
just pour my heart out.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
Especially it comes across the sarcasm, doesn't it sometimes?
Speaker 4 (45:39):
But he's also very genuine.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Eyes.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Okay, next time.
Speaker 4 (45:47):
Just because it's in capitals doesn't.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
Mean it's my joke.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Let me do it, Okay, I don't tell you what
to do. Kids party etiquette debate. Here we go with
an upcoming I'm curious what people consider normal etiquette these days.
We've always provided food and drink for parents too, but
with the rising cost of living, kids parties.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Are starting to feel like a luxury.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
There's a poll in the Facebook group where fifty eight
percent said yes to it and thirty percent said no.
And I'm assuming that's to feeding the parents as well.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Which can we.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Call April really quickly because she's currently struggling with this.
Please throwing Oscar a party all right, because he's hell
band on a soccer party. And Abra was like, I've
got all this stuff for the kids, but what about
the parents? And she offered in the invitation for it
to be a drop and go if you wish. If
you want to drop you kids off, that's fine. I
was like, we've already done more than enough by offering that,
(46:43):
so let's give her a call. I don't know what
we decided in the end because I wasn't listening. Holly
ay then, hey, you're just live on two doting dad
radio right now, quick question? Feeding parents at a party?
Where do we land on that?
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Oh, just keep me up at night. We haven't landed
because it was your job.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
Now it comes out?
Speaker 2 (47:10):
When was it my job?
Speaker 1 (47:12):
I was like, I need to help with something.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
When do you not start a sentence with that?
Speaker 1 (47:18):
In your life? It's fine?
Speaker 3 (47:19):
I can see. I can see this phone call was
a mistake.
Speaker 2 (47:23):
I see this phone call was a mistake, and I
regret it.
Speaker 5 (47:27):
Because you were like asked for numbers and I was like, no,
I don't want to know because I'll.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Just get something because we're not necessarily feeding them.
Speaker 4 (47:33):
Remember that conversation.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Can I step in? Can I step in? I just
say that I don't think any parent goes to a
party expecting to be fed.
Speaker 2 (47:42):
I do.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
I think if there's a refreshment, a water, amazing, if
there's a bit of fairy bread going, I might nibble
on that you two should get a room. But I
don't think anyone's like, so is there a menu? Is there?
Like where?
Speaker 5 (47:57):
Where?
Speaker 1 (47:59):
Yeah? No one saying I'm not going to eat if
I go the kids party, because surely will be.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
A good spread there, I said.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
I said, we offered kid free drop off, so I
think that's enough.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Yeah, we said like stay or go.
Speaker 5 (48:09):
But I do just want like a little platter of
something that the parents can pick at by kids.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Yeah, a little cheese plate, if you will, very bread
on the cheese plate. If we must, like a bit
of coots chacoots bitter sel Armie shoo fada double bree.
Speaker 2 (48:28):
May you'll get into the double bree. Yeah, she hates
cheese but loves double bree.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
Yeah, what about that? What about coffees?
Speaker 7 (48:38):
Would you get coffees for the parents, because I think
I think that's where it gets expensive.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
What about I tell you what we'll do.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
We take the kettle and a jar and Macona really
give them the good stuff. Frankly there with his peppermint tea.
He'll have it in his jacket like a dealer. He'll
have it from all parts of the world. All right,
you've been very helpful.
Speaker 1 (49:02):
But still your job. Just so clear.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Okay, I'll see later.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
All right, see you letter, cheese cheese board. It is well, Ash,
that's all we have time for. It was really enjoyable
listening to your talk to April.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
I think it was my job, but I forgot so
I shouldn't have called her because of now I look
like an idiot. No, never, I'm happy to look like
an idiot for the entertainment of the listeners.
Speaker 1 (49:27):
And if you haven't did this episode, we would love
it if you would give us a couple of reviews.
If you follows, just a couple of.
Speaker 2 (49:33):
Little words subscribe, So you get it directly in your
inbox every week, and.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
Also share it, share around, be generous.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Here's a challenge, share it to one friend.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
That's all we ask for and we you don't need evidence.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Just tell us you did.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
It and that's your homework for the week.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
And join us on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook and YouTube.
All right, let's go bick.
Speaker 8 (49:55):
You got anything to say?
Speaker 1 (50:14):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2 (50:21):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadaigle Land
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