July 5, 2026 • 50 mins
Ash's sick, so naturally the episode goes completely off the rails.
This week we're discussing the deeply concerning music our kids know all the words to, whether there's an acceptable playlist for sex (and just how much mood lighting is too much), plus a Doter Hack from a listener who's found a genius way to get the kids out the door in the morning.
Then we tackle the debate that's got parents arguing online: should a dad have used the women's toilets to help his young daughters?
It's a bit of a mixed bag this week... but so is parenting.
If you need a shoulder to cry on:
Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I was driving in the car the other day. I
looked behind me and I won't say which daughter this is.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I don't want to embarrass her.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And I was like, what are you eating? She's like nothing,
and I was like eating something?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What's that? What you? What are you chilling? And I
was like, is that got you get? Come wrong? Give
some gum? And she was like, my boogers.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And I was like, oh fucking hell, I've raised the
child that eats their own buggers.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Are we all going to sit here and pretend like
people don't eat their own boogers?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Still?
Speaker 4 (00:29):
What not me?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome back to two Darting Duds. I'm Maddie Ja.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
That definitely came out wrong. I'm ash and.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
This is a podcast all about panting. It is the good,
it is the.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Bad, and please explain yourself. I will admit when I
was I think I was grade six and I was like,
never into it.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
But I was like, let's just see what all the
fuss is about.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Yeah, everyone's I reckon, everyone's living in I reckon. You're
all living in denight, like every guy. Everyone, everyone's tried.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Their owncome at something.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Oh, I know it sounds on that it's good too.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Far, not me like, but but I've been close to
it's awful.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
You're all living in denight, you're all Egyptian. You ever
had your book?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Did it taste like?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Well, this morning was a bit.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's very salty.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I will it is it happens.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Lily does it, and it drives me nuts, and she
thinks it's funny. Every time I say stop doing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That, I reckon that.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I still when I saw Lily, I was like, she
looks like one.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Of those she looks like a booger reader.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, that's why I didn't want to give her a
hug when I saw it.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Now I'm definitely giving I was trying a befriend not anymore, Louis.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
He used to pick his nose. Not anymore, that's what
you think. I don't really see it though.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
He's still doing it. He's still doing it, and so
am I. She's always knuckled in that nose of her.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
She's like, it's disappointing. It's like I can imagine.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I reckon.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I reckon a lot of adults living in denial, they
still accidentally do it.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I don't think.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Adults do it eating it. Yeah, I reckon. Okay, if
you're listening right now, and you're you're not afraid you
will meet it. Please, I reckon everyone's living in denial
because it's like we all do these disgusting things behind
closed doors that people don't think we're doing that we're
actually all doing.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
What else are you doing behind closed You don't want
to know?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
No, I don't know you do.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Like there's going to be something that you're you're like
you do behind closed doors that you're slightly ashamed about.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Okay, do you know what I see?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I tell you? What is it? If it's I whack
that's fucked up? Is like veggie mart and.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Book books are like Peter used.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
When I was younger.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Okay, how much younger.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
When I was when I was like primary school? You're
a grotten primary school.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I used to like the smell of the toe jam
on my fe Okay.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, don't pick.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
We don't judge. Well, okay, can you saying there is
something that you haven't done behind doors? Like there's something
that you're ashamed of.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
I know it.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Look yeah, she's like they know they know, because we
know what we know what you do?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Admitute, So there is.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Something a little saint over here. I know it's like,
I don't know what my bos tastes like that you
can't wait to get their own. Yeah, the one that
we're all day so much goodness.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
You have to taste what you smell that day.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Okay, so this is a Monday housekeeping episode.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It's not for us, this one for the boggery.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Well, actually, you know what. We were looking at the
numbers and look, we are a business. That's how we offer.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
We're not We're not here.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Well it is fun, obviously, but we we did our
end of financial year review of the numbers and we're like, well,
look at this episode. Obviously we've done this episode for
only a few months now, we've been doing it. Numbers
aren't great, numbers aren't good, and if they don't improve soon,
if there's not a drastic spite by the end of
(04:48):
this episode, all I'm saying is that it's your fault
listening right now because you didn't tell enough people about it.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Yeah, that's very true. I don't you know, I would
hate I've come in. I'm definitely ill still, I've come
in to do this. I could have been at home
eating my own book is and masturbating.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
But here I am showing up, showing up, missing out
on a great time. I know I'm not criticizing that, no,
but we just you know, we want we want to
let you know that we have all about transparency around
here here.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
So thank you for being here on every second Monday
where we do housekeeping, which is really all about you guys.
And that's what Vic wanted us to say.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
There was a lovely post in the Facebook group about
how much they love me.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh my god, that is so I.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Deleted it very arrogant. Okay, it's a little bit early.
I don't pick my nose when you do.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
What did it? Say?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Again?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Said Maddie, Jay and Ash you are amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Thank you end of comment.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
But I have to say that Adam Victoria to the
team was an awesome decision. I love hearing her giggles
in the background as YouTube banter and I can imagine
her sitting there trying to contain her laughter and compose herself. Yeah,
thanks for the joy you bring to my ears.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And will who is that? Written by Linda is so great?
Speaker 5 (06:05):
I would never say that, but Chloe said, I'm usually
yelling at the boys in my car, and then Vic says,
what I'm yelling?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
What is she usually yelling?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's lovely?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Stop talking about pis and carm They want this one.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I just got to I don't know if she's I'm
assuming she's announced, announces publicly.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I'm going to say it. Kristen.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So I got a message from her a little while ago,
and she just said, hey, thanks for showing me that
three kids is doable. About to try for number three?
God help us? I said, look, I take no responsibility.
It's great, and then she goes, yeah, it's not my
favorite the newborn phase, but anyway, wish me luck.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Got a message from her.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Oh no, okay, seven twins, and I hope she's announces publicly.
If anyone knows Kristen, she's got some exciting news because
she goes, loll try it for the third now.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Pregnant with twins. Oh my god, if you don't laugh,
you'll cry.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh actual, that's really tough. Is that my faulty?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Did I did I do this? Yeah? Sorry about that?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
N It's all right.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I mean, should I have talked her out of it?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I wonder if they were like Matt did this?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I reckon they'll name one of them. Matt, I hope
so Matt and Ash Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And if it's going Maddie or Ash Yeah, Ashley Ash.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Is it very Sma, Maddie Ash all interchangeable beautiful?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I mean, what exciting news. Twins number three and four
far out.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
That's buy one, get one free, literally that is.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And I hope, I hope they're easy kids.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I hope they're sleepers.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Gosh.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
But if they're not, you're in You're in lark because
every ten weeks or so there's this thing called school holidays,
and today is day one of school holidays. Yeah, so
best of luk to all of the dotors out there,
because it's honestly.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's hell.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's fucked.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's hell.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Hey, before you new school for the term, did you
guys have an athletics carnival?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Nah, you haven't done it.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I think it was the start of the year. It
wasn't real athletics. It was like games at.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
The start of the year. What are you doing having
athletics in January?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
That's they did that, And they did cross country pretty
early on that's back something like that. Yeah, in the
first term, I went cross county.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Rember oscar one no athletics, cannibal cross country, No that
I was here, all the good stuff.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, but they're not really doing April that's right. April
went and she was like, what's this. I was like,
what were you expecting? Beijing? They're like doing sandbag toss
or something that.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, for for I don't know, if it's Marley's obviously
grade one ken you definitely do egg and spoon rays
And I was like, I'm not going to miss half
a day and to watch that.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
No, I wouldn't. That's hard.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Honestly, it'd be the cutest thing ever.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well, watching a bunch of kids drop their eggs and
then melting down.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Can I just say the last few.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Cross country as an example, I rocked up. The kids
were not into it. Me being there and them knowing
that I'm like meters away. They were like upset, didn't
want to do it. Came to me like, we're just
like I want dad, And I was like, that's nice, No,
it's not he wanted to do it.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm not raising losers of fair fair point.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
No, you do want them to have a go. But
that's so sweet that you're they comfortable like, But I was.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Like, get off me, I'm like, if I if I
wasn't there, they would have run it. So I'm like,
if I'm not, I've told them.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I'm not going to be there, going the bushes, you
know what.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I always ruined the surprise, But this is recorded a
week earlier, the athletic days tomorrow, and I'm like, I'm
not fucking doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah, fair, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Fair. My parents never came to any of mine, but
they hated me. They didn't know. I think we all
went to Oscars. He loves it, though, He's like, I'm
going to fucking wea this shit.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
And if I had that kind of energy from my kids,
I'd be there. So they brought this upon themselves.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Fair.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Fair. I mean April does like she the first one
she went to. I think I was maybe he with you,
and she was like it was so sad or like
some of the year three boys. No one wanted to
do it, so they're all running and crying and I
was like, that sounds super entertaining. It's free.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I don't want to do this.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I'll suck it up.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Yeah, they make them do it.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
They're going to hate swimming carnivals.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Then, yes, yeah, swimming carnivals especially, they're like, you gotta
wear speedoes. Remember those days where it was like I
try to wear my bodies like but like obviously like
budgets and the stuff. Now fine, because I'm a dad,
I can do it everything. I don't give me take
my pants.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
I was like, m Harry, you know the school assemblyoids
out the back and.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I was like, freestyle, I'm more. I'm more of a
breaststroke guy myself. No, no, nothing, okay, sorry, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I I zoned out for sports.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Day just tomorrow. And they have to do every single
with that, Like I know, cross country is one race
right the urine with the sports stage. Do they have
to do it all?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Or do they pick their pedigree?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And I don't know. I think it's I'm not into
the funny games.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
You're not into fun and end or games.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
No I want I'm a traditionalist. I want one hundred meters.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I don't want this.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Spoon eggs for cooking, not for racing.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, I'm not so, I've opted out, so is Laura.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah. Fair, It's just a silly game.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
We've seen enough.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I've seen enough and I'm not interested.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Tap me in when it's grade three and then I'm
doing the two hundred meters or relay.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
That's what I want to see. That's what I stacy
little message here now before.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
That, it's your birthday, happy birthday whatever. Remember I always
remember six of July eighty seven?
Speaker 5 (11:58):
What?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
How does what?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Where? Does that sit in your mind?
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Like?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Are you remembering it constantly?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
It's numbers. It's just numbers, like I remember my childhood
phone number, my home phone number, doub number four six
three too. Don't call it. That's good.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
Yeah, everyone remembers that. Really, it's one of the first
numbers you learn off my heart.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Let's not forget my birthday. Let's let's not rush through that.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
What do you got for me? I do have something
for you, but I left it at home. You have
to wait.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Do you want to just maybe a couple of compliments.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
About the gift or do you know what I did?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
If you're in a restaurant and it's not a big restaurant,
but if it's someone's birthday and they're singing happy birthday,
there's nothing worse than a meek happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
You gotta go all in, I said to April.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
If you sing me happy birthday in public. I'm leaving you.
I am that against it.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And I agree, but if it's someone else's birthday, I.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Got they loser.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Sorry. Something came over me at.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
A lot of anger. There was a table not far
from us. Young boy must have been.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Twelve, you singing to you're singing it out for twelve.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
The white stuff came out and it was the white
staff were a bit young, and I was mid mid meal,
and I like looked over and it was like it
was like watching an old lady get robbed.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I was like, did you get you go? That's not
how you do it. You stood up, he climbed over
the table. My daughter was like daddy, and I was like, fuck.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Me right now.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
That poor twelve year old boys like, oh.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Come on, who is there? I like looked across the
room and I thought we all need a band together
right now, you know, have a little community and needed
just someone to really really get the party started, like.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
When we like when I went up to congratulate Tony
and Ryan, you were like, fuck up, take it to
another level. I gave it some and then I looked
around and like, come on, what are Australians here made
for my? Help each other out?
Speaker 4 (14:23):
For the beer economy.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I think the boy was crying. And then when we left,
I went.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
He grabbed a child and I was like, yea, have
a good birthday and if not, I'll see the next one.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And I gave him fist bump and I was like,
you know, I'm sure I've made his year again my beer,
and I was.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Like, drink this, drink this.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
You're a man.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
You're a man now, son, And.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know, I just I felt it felt good. It
felt good to give back to the community.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah. I was just like, let's never go to that
restaurant ever again.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
So you were banned.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
So how how old are you turning today?
Speaker 8 (15:00):
Man?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Today, I'm turning thirty nine years old?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
How many months is that?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Well, we've had a lot of mums on the on
the call today they were the only work in months.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Thirty nine times. Told I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Maybe we should say something nice about Matt.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I always say nice things about him.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Fucking if you have lovely hair, where are your hat?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
That's that's why I.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Said, it's lovely.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
You're a real go getter. So happy birthday.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
Ash hates getting.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I hate giving them to what one I'm ready.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Matt loves compliments.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
What have I got?
Speaker 5 (15:41):
I would like to say Matt is a very kind,
very positive person. He's very uplifting. He's also very generous,
and he's a good interviewer. He's a good friend, good colleague.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
What she said, Yeah, Dad can.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Sing happy birthday as well.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I was going to say. I was going to say
anyone can sing happy birthday. It's this guy, Happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
And what one more summer?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
And do you know what you can do for me?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
If you're listening right now on Spotify, you can write
happy birthday on the episode.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Oh yeah, that will really make it.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I'll be.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Bali salivating over his phone.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I'm going to do it. But April and I share
a Spotify count. It'll say April, but it'll be from me.
I think.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
When you get home, you're April. Make sure added to
your list.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
You're gonna write your birthday amount to in the calendar
on Spotify's in the calendar, so she'll get to it.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Thank you very much for remembering, and I thank you
for the coming words.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And I forgot to bring your birthday president, which was
a lot of thought went into it.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Okay, so you're not gonna tell me what it did.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
So when you get back, it's more of a visual thing.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Picture my I can't tell you joking or not.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I don't joke. I'm not knowing that.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
One of the dotors, Stacey's, in a news update to
us that said Australia could now soon be taxing owners
of Pokemon cards and for you to watch out.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
How are they gonna police this because unless the're gonna
come to my house and be like, have we got
to wring more guns? And chance we're going to tax
you on And it's so I'm going to come and
value them because that'd be great too. So I don't
know how they get I just don't know. They always
feel like they always throw out these things. Well it's like.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
It's like when they tried to say if you're a
content creator and you get a gift, your gifted something,
you got to claim that as as like part income.
Fuck off, right, we're going to pay for like chocolate
with its priceless to the government. Like that's a great rule,
and I think everyone should have buyed by them. But
get a fucking grip.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's so ridiculous. What am I gonna you know what
I'm gonna do. If I get gifted something, I'm going
to chop two thirds off it and then send it
to the ATO and be like, there's your bit, because
I'm not getting any money for it, So why the
funk should you get money for it?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I actually don't know if that's true, so.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Don't quote me on this. So now they're going to
tax my Pokemon cards that are hidden in a drawer
somewhere out of sight due to shame.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I think Dave Hugh said that.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Who knows if he's okay? Right right? Yeah, I don't
know me that guy.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
If you're coming to us for advice on tax legislation, ash,
I got a message here from Brad. It's always nice
to hear from the dads. He says, Hey, guys and
Vic Kington know from the doting community the dotes if
you will. What are some of your kids most inappropriate
favorite songs? My son is three, and his absolute favorite
(18:35):
song the play It fifty times a day. Kind is
Homewrecker by Somber.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Home Wrecker by Somber.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Such a banger.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Okay, let me do you know which one it is?
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Got a little bit of scus, This is about it?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
This is.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Oh that's what it sounds like. You ripped that off.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
That has it has lyrics like your hit like a
drunk cigarette. I don't want to be a home wrecker.
I want to kiss you on the bed and on
the floor.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Nice when your kids are like, yeah, you're on the bed,
on the floor, put it in my mouth.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Put it back in my mouth?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Way was it? Take it out and put it back
in my.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Neighbless to say, this is pretty wild line coming out of.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
A three year old Brad.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I want to kiss you on the floor. Put it
back in again? What what is your name?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Any songs that your kids listen to, they are a
little bit inappropriate.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
If they could speak Spanish because they're into bad Bunny.
They speak fluent bad Bunny. It's that's how they sing it,
because that's how I see it because I don't speak Flish,
but Shaggy it wasn't me. I just don't think they
quite understand the bits in the middle where it's like
you caught me, but they get butt naked because now
they're like, you butt naked? Yeah, because that's just funny
(20:08):
because the word butts in it and naked. But the
bit they love the most is it was me, But
I don't think they quite understand the bits in the middle.
They got me burt naked, laying on.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
The bathroom Is it banging on the bathroom floor or
laying in the bathroom floor?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I think it's banging.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Is it banging?
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Yeah, it's not lying.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah, so I think that's probably that's red hot. That's
red hot. There's a couple of others that at the
moment they're sort of running through diet PEPSI.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Actually, Addison Ray shout out to my Addie Ray, Ok.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
In the rips.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
My ass looks good.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
After that.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Essentially touch x.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
April having sex to that? Do you really?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
I'm sorry, babe, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Do you ever listen to music?
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Nah?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
No, time.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
We get through zero songs, I just put jungle music on.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
And then I don't know, what do you go? What
do you guys listen to? I don't know. One second,
there's sounds of the other there's a Jane andthing going on. Okay,
there's all right. She's my Jane and that's how we
(21:36):
like it.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
She carries me into the bedroom quite often, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Little theaters are swinging from the vines when we have sex. Uh, no,
music's complete silence. Do people? Is it help?
Speaker 4 (21:49):
I don't do it?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Does it help out there? I actually think it would
probably help me because I'm the choir guy in the room.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So if there was like some background noise, all we
can hear is the white noise from Pop's room next door.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
It's like, you should have a soundtrack of someone just
doing dirty talks, like that's the song we've got. We're
gonna have sec up.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Fulling a slate up to five minutes.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
It's like you should, you know how You're like, I'm
not very good at dirty talk. You should just get
like a dirty talk playlist and have someone been there
like yeah, I'm naddy ja you like that what he said?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
It's going to cut this part.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah, Ash's voice deeper.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Any dotors have a good sexy playlists?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Your best sex song? Sabrina Carpenter the girls I love
her and she has a song called Taste.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
The boys love her too.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Everyone loves a bit of Sabrina. She's just blowing up.
Is that insinuating that she's getting wet?
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Yes, she says, I'm going to need to go home now, Laura.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Get ready put something sexy.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
She's like what about your kids?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
Me? What do you got? Lewis Loves Watermelon Sugar by.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Harry stutn't bag.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
That's a great song.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
It is a good song. I know. I always thought
like there was some sort of insinuation that it was
to do with sex, and then I just googled it
and it says watermelon sugar represents the sweet, addictive taste
and euphoria associated with oral sex.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I thought it had something to do with the sexual
act with a watermelon.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
But nuts, wow, that would be quite changes the song entirely.
He loves a fruit salad.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
He does.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
It's just fruit salad, but like a fifteen plus version.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah, but he's like, oh my god, I can't the watermelon.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Everything I've been enjoying with my kids is so inappropriate.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Everything's in approach. Realistically, we're going back to the wiggles
that it's probably inappropriate. Actually, just to the dotors out there,
if there are any, can I finish a sentence please,
so I apologize. There are already dotors out there that
have any songs their kids are obsessed with that are filthy.
Send them in. I'm interested, you pervert, shut up?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Can I ask you a quick question because no, I
know you in April enjoy each other's company in the
bedroom quite often go on, lights on, the lights off?
Speaker 2 (24:15):
What's going on there? Well, good question, thank you?
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Lamp on?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
What lamp?
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Mood lighting?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, baby, where's that? Where one just bedside table lamp?
But like one of them's light is less. It's quite nice,
nice moody, like a drive a light bulb? You got
for that over there?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
What about you?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Lights off?
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Don't look at me.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
We will go there's a street light. Sometimes if we
pull the curtains back, the street light is like a nice.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
It's just a street light, April. No way, a curtain
could be open, just in case when people aren't looking.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Or sometimes we will go, this is really sexy if
we're trying to set the move up.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Nothing sexy than street light.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
No, well, the light reading the light of the en
suite and we turn that on and then we slightly
ajar the door.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Slider too, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
And so sometimes I'm they're like naked with an erection being.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Like this a little less on the left and to
the left things that's yeah, too much but darker.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
And I'm on this, I'm on the street like going
more yeah, open that now, close that.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Because the house across the road is currently being built,
so it's you know, no one's looking in except for
the for me, except for you.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Because we only have a nighttime sex.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
How late ten o'clock. That's late, is it?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Sort that out having every hour on the hour, No,
like eight o'clock. Max.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Kids aren't even sleep, Yeah, my kids are. They're laying
being like, oh god.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Although they're at it, they're at it again. Yeah, we
are worried about them coming in. It's part of the thrill.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
It's we usually way. It's like, have you checked on them? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Are they out?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Oh yeah yeah yeah most of the time.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Put the lamp on.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Sometimes we think they're out.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Is the lamp exclusively a sex lamp?
Speaker 3 (26:11):
It's still a reading lamp too. Oh so it's very confusing.
When are we reading books?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Are we fucking yea?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (26:18):
What do we do?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Like get out of the shower. I'm like, I can't
read the ring right now?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Or that the lights off? I know.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Funny because we've actually got it's called a sex candle,
and you're supposed to light it when you want to
have sex that night so the other one knows.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
That just reminds me of four year old version when
he lights the candles and turns all the pictures the
other way before he drives Masurate. Actually without TV. It's
one of those frame TVs and you've got pictures on it,
and sometimes it just turns itself on and it's like
a picture sequence of the kids.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
It's like, quick, turn it off. The kids are watching.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
But are you ever do you ever help me in
bed and go?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Oh fuck the candles lit?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Just walk past it. Oh we're out. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
It's like dam.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yes, damn.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's damn. Parents. We got wine a little pair o
we can we do? We may as well pay the
intro terry. Listen to this.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
Want of it?
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Say what, man, I feel like a parent. It's from
Terry or Terry. I'm undisclosed Terry.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Is it a terry?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
It's Terry.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
It's Terry ashes being silly.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
It's in capital. So I didn't yell it. So other
parents at a gated playground not closing the gate behind
them on their way out. Don't get me wrong, it's
my responsibility to watch my kids. But dang little mate
is fast and a close gate slows them down long
enough that I can catch up with these gates things. Yeah,
(28:06):
on parks, it's always like when I go to let
my kid out, another kid comes up, and I'm like,
this is awkward because I don't know you.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
So I was at a park recently with my kids.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Glad we mave that up and I opened the gate
and my kids was taking forever and I was like,
come on, kids, and I was there like opening the
gate to be like hurry up, hurry up. Out of nowhere,
lightning fast, two young children must have been about four
or five came running. There's also a couple of adults
were also leaving at the same time, so I was
kind of half telling my kids to hurry up, also
(28:41):
being polite for the other parents. These two kids straight through,
and I was kind of like, I know it's and
all of a sudden there's a mom who's like.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Timmy, fuck, Timmy's a runner.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
She starts bolting and I'm there like being like, oh shit,
I've just did she put the pace on accidentally.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well, she was sprinting everything, and I was like, so sorry.
It happened so quick. She was fucking furious at her kids.
I was almost like hey, like that was kind of
my fault. Sorry, but I was like, let's get out
of here.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
I will say, April at full pace, turns me on,
when did you see it at full pace? Oscars like, mum,
chase these it was a ball and she really put
the really got the knees up, really moving. I was like,
damn girl, wow so fast. That's why I asked, was
she really well, I think I've got one somewhere, but
like chats and pats on her. That's why I asked,
was she Was she really legging it?
Speaker 5 (29:35):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
She was was older. It was like a half as
could be a grandma anyway.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
So any of your kids runners, Nah, like, thankfully not.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
I didn't really have Oscar's too afraid to be left alone.
He's like, ah, on the side of his booster seat.
Now he says, do not leave kids under tents in
the car.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
And he was like, see, see, just because you're going
to play for petrol, I have to come.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I'm like, okay, I was hoping. It's hoping a group
of people took you. Now.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
The only thing that Marley did one time, and she's
pretty great.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
She were at the park and she went to the
toilet by herself, but didn't tell anyone.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
That's scary.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And so I was like, oh, you know, because there's
always moments we don't know where the kids are because
they're in a tree or doing something.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
And I kind of scanned around and I was like,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Why I was a Marley was like checking every nicole,
nook and cranny of the playground and I.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Was like, Laura, I've lost Marley that.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I was like, for a split second, You're like, fuck,
just this is the worst case scenario. Where the fuck
is she?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
And then eventually after be like.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
The newspaper around and I was like, didn't you ever
do that again? And she's like, I can't ship anymore.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I was like, fucking hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Oscar, We're at rocket shit part the other day and
Oscar was like to me, he was like, I'm just
gonna go to the toilet. It's just there. And I'm like, yes, sweet,
no worries. And Abral comes home. It's a whiz, Oscar
is it in the bathroom. It's like, oh, okay, chill out.
The buffing's like right there. But I can imagine, like
my kids, they're too afraid to do anything on their own.
But I was Oscar did this this instance because he
(31:10):
felt comfortable there because we go there all the time.
But like I think the whole gate thing, like I
don't know what, I never know what to do. It's
such one of those moments because the one time where
you you lapse in judgment with the time a kid
runs out and Booth gets to buy a car or something.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
I think you can let kids in, just don't let
them know.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
I don't let them in. Fuck yeah, because like all
the kids nod. Remember I didn't let those kids in
when I was me and Macy and the mom like
kind of snarled at me a little because I didn't
let me in, and I was like, I don't know who.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
This kid is.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Got to play it safe anyway, don't let anyone in,
don't let anyone out.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
I like it, Matt. You know, we do love a
good hack around here. Who told you well in these
housekeeping episodes we do save all this sort of stuff,
including hacks that we do get because parents love hacks
if they work. So we got send a couple.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Did I tell you the idea that I had for
this segment? No parenting hack or fuck that?
Speaker 5 (31:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
We run it for ages. We ran that for a while.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Here.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, we definitely had that.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
You're a fucking liar?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Wow. Yeah, Yeah, we definitely had hack that. Okay, whoa, whoa,
I'll put my life on it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
When I have to kill you.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
You we have definitely done because people have written it.
I was like, don't do it.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
I'm like it was a people have written on the.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Facebook group and looking up and like for Hackle, fun
that or for something else.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I've seen that. We have had Hackle that.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
I think in the parenting group, I said, what do
you guys think of this segment? Idea name?
Speaker 3 (32:35):
We definitely have ran a couple of is a Hackle
funk that?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Well, I can't remember where I put my phone down
and I forget in two seconds.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
We have, so my memory is probably not the best
to use.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
I'm living, I'm gonna live.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Do I want to bet my life.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Shouldn't do it because you'll be wrong. I have to
kill you and I will enjoy it.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
Yeah, we definitely there was a parenting hack or fuck
that that came through in June last month.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Last month. Yeah, and then they're the Facebook group and
I told you, You've definitely told me you've said it.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, I will die on this.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
You have you have you You're gonna die? How are
you gonna kill me slowly?
Speaker 2 (33:18):
With what twees?
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Okay, and that's not the hack.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
It's definitely you definitely have you definitely have said it
on the pod with things before like hack of fuck that.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
Well, like there's a couple of years from March, damn it,
March five.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Okay, Well, this one has come from Joe.
Speaker 8 (33:41):
You can cook schnitzel in the air fryer. You can
cook salmon in the air fryer. You can cook sausages
in the air those weird fucking small tiches that kids
like from Cole's in the air fryer. And you can
do that every fourth night for the rest of twenty
twenty six. It is the best cheat code I was
(34:02):
ever given. And that's the best thing I've ever done.
One Boy, One Girl is also really hard parenting wise.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
People don't kind of give it enough.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Is this the parenting podcastion?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Basically, can you shut the fuck up? Okay, Joe's talking here, Joe.
I'm so sorry, Joe, hurry up.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Here's the point. He turns out my job.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
She's very good.
Speaker 5 (34:25):
It's No, I did a rand on my own Instagram
and she sent this audio message like that is such
a good hack. I'm actually going to put it on
the podcast.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
You sent you a podcast.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
You're interrupting.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Job enough for Joe.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Okay, back to Joe.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
This is the last time.
Speaker 8 (34:44):
Joe's one of my mates who's got two severely ADHD kids.
Did you tell me to put on that Minion's Miss
Mission Impossible soundtrack?
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Like dunt dunt dunt dun d d?
Speaker 4 (34:57):
Did you put it on instead of singing it?
Speaker 5 (34:59):
Singing it?
Speaker 8 (35:00):
The kids fucking love it and they have to be
ready to leave standing at the front door.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
It's actually fun to finish the end, like quick, get.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Your shoes on.
Speaker 8 (35:12):
It's like dun't dunt dunt dun dun d d, And
that's kind of cool.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
You're fucking in the trenches man.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Furthermore, my previous comments earlier, I.
Speaker 5 (35:24):
Wasn't going to play the whole sorry.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
I like her and I like her swearing.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
She had good twains that was like, I like that.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
Also, I tried it this morning, the Minion song. I
put it on and straight away you could see little
Luisi's pick up and he was like he loved it,
and it was like something. I was like, quick, we've
got to go and the somebody about the music, like
quick get and yeah, they did it fast.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I'm gonna try that tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Okay, thanks Joe.
Speaker 5 (35:54):
We need all the help we can get to get
it written by No.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I'm like that was the longest voice message? Was that
a voice message?
Speaker 5 (36:01):
Like?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Did she just leave that on her phone.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Or you guys having a conversation you just recorded it?
Speaker 5 (36:05):
No? No, no, it was a voice message. I was
going to cut the rest out and just use the minions.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I like it. No, leave the leave their fry, fry's
good gear.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
I'm glad we got there.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Shout out to the parents who have the one boy,
one girl, thank you.
Speaker 5 (36:18):
Yeah, it is hard hard, it's hard for us. I can't.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
I could never. I don't understand what you guys are
going through.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
We got three of them, so it's just like that.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
It's a lot bit worse in the parenting hierarchy. I
fucking am on top of you, guys.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
I am really finding it hard.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
It's the way you like it, isn't it that's supposed
to me?
Speaker 5 (36:36):
Like Louis versus Lily at the moment, Like, Lily's so
well behaved, and I know kids go back and forth
all the time, but Louie's going through this really naughty phase.
And I'm finding it really hard to not give too
much praise to Lily because she's doing whatever I ask
her to do, but literally every day, and I don't
want to embarrass him, but he is wetting his pants
(36:59):
every day the mine like coming home last night, he
came home his shorts were soaked, and I'm like, buddy,
what did you do. I'm just trying to get him
into the toilet so he can go and change and
get into clean clothes and stuff. But he, like everyone
at school's asking him, like just change, and he's like no,
oh really, yeah, he won't go. What is Jens well,
(37:19):
She says, like, just go back to what was working originally,
which was trying to just boost his confidence and tell
him this happens to lots of kids because that's when
he actually got better. But that was like when he
was back in preschool.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Is he just not? Is he just ignoring that he
needs to weak because he wants.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
To play like a little bit of that, but he's
got an overactive bladder, so We've been to a doctor
to see if it was a physical problem, because you've
got to rule that out first. And he's yeah, he's
got an erective bladder.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Which things like it's just like a like he needs
to wean more often.
Speaker 5 (37:50):
Yeah, so when it contracts, it sends messages to his
brain that he needs to weed then and there and
he can't feels like he can't hold it him.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
Yeah, I didn't know that was Yeah, and it's really
sad because it's not his fault. But also he is
capable of going to the toilet. Like I said to
him today, if you feel like you're gonna wet your pants,
just run to the toilet straight away, Like, do not
listen to anyone around you, just run instead of just
wean the whole thing in his pants.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Yeah, does you feel like you can't just go?
Speaker 5 (38:22):
I don't know. He gets embarrassed, maybe, but he says
he's not allowed to just get up and go. But
I have been working with this teacher constantly. Yeah, and
it's hard to not get angry all the time when
you're doing so much washing.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
It's a fucking nightmare. I remember growing up and wetting
the bed and being like I want to get in
trouble for this, because you're like as a parent, it's
in the middle of the night, as a knock on
the door and it's like, I've just pissed the bed.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
You're like, fuck, it's really hard them because wet the
bear and didn't tell me until the night before he
was getting into bed and he was like, oh yeah.
I was like, why didn't you tell me? And he
was like I was gonna get in trouble. I'm like no, no, yeah,
(39:10):
but no, you're not like it's a weird thing because
you're like in the middle of the night, you're like, oh,
for fux sake, But the for foxs sake is like,
you're not in trouble.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
For this because just annoyed I had to wake up. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Yeah, but they just see it. He's like, I've disappointed you,
and you're the one person they don't want to disappoint.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
Yeah, exactly. And I say to him, look, he's like,
am I in trouble. I'm like, no, you're not in trouble,
but I just want to help you. But I can't
help you if you're not going to help me, and
like help yourself.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Making washes on clothes. That's what happens. Oh, I mean physically,
like no, no, you've got to go put them in
the watch. So like at the moment we had the
shoe basket in the laundry and what's happened is Macy
or Oscar I can't remember which one it was, had
really wet shoes and just chucked him in there all
the other shoes. When I talk like what the fuck
(39:56):
stinks in here? And I was like, all right, well
that's it. The shoe basket is going out of the
house and you've got to actually go and put your
shoes out there. And now they'll they'll do it with
the washing. I'm like, your fucking socks stink. Like I'm not.
I'm sick of fucking carrying your socks. Go and put
them away. So now they're like, all right, the amount
of clothes they use has dramatically dropped. So Oscar would
(40:17):
be like, I've got a tiny mark on this shirt.
Your shirt, I'm like, you've got to walk it all
the way wearing that for a week. Yeah, you're got
to walk it all the way to the laundry.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
So maybe just say hey, look, I know it's really tough.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
So why don't we to help mummy out because you're
not in trouble, but to help mummy out with the
washing so we can all move on and get along.
I'll show you how to do the washing. Who probably
stop pissing his pants? At least it might be not
as frequent. You might go, oh shit, I could run
to the toilet now and we we and tell Mommy
that I just left the classroom, or go home and
(40:51):
I'm gonna do the washing myself. I don't know, try
try that.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
I'm not an expert, but I mean, if any dotors
out there have any advice on because you're hands, I
would bloody love some because I'm at more with him.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Fair enough.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
This has been going on since we toilet trained him
at three and a half and he's almost six.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
That's tough, and it's gotten worse.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
And is there anything that they can prescribe for the bladder?
Speaker 5 (41:15):
Yeah, there is a medication they can put him on,
but I don't really want to go down that of sure. No,
yeah for sure, because she also said it is like
a lifeless and he also needs to learn about going
to the toilet.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
M tricky.
Speaker 5 (41:28):
So we just have to schedule toilet reminder every specific
times of the day, and we've got a stick a chot.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, we're so like no one leaves the house until
they at least try to go to the bath and
that includes me. Matt. Speaking of bathrooms, we have a
bathroom related dotor dilemma.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Shall we absolutely?
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Now you need us more than ever. Know that we
still have each other. You can sure doting dilemma.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
The dilemma Ella Ella ed.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
I don't know if you've seen this video, ash, but
it got sent in a lat and it blew up
on tiktokets from America.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
I'm going to play this big surprise.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
This is a video of a dad who went into
a female bathroom with his daughter and then was approached
by another man. So to give context, it makes sense
when he hit the audio.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I'm standing in the doorway of the lady's bathroom. Okay,
my wife.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
There is a man with his two little girls using
the women's bathroom.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
He is washing his hands with his.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Daughters right now.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
He is leaving it.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Sorry, baby. She is waiting to use the restaurant with
her mother who was very ill, and there was all
the oxygen just immature.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
And he's refusing, he's taking his sweet I.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Have two girls washing their hands.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
You let this lady.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
This woman is a lot, she's a woman.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
She can bring her daughters in here. She's a marriage
with the QT.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
I'm going that's her, I understand.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
And you don't have his business in.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
The women's bathroom. They're girls. They go to the women's
bathroom as soon as he leaves as the women's bathroom.
In my world, I'm standing in the doorway. Can I say,
first of all, please to the dad with the two girls,
full credit for remaining calm, because I know my blood
is boiling.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Right, you lose your temper.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Never, I don't lose my temper.
Speaker 5 (43:47):
That makes me want to cry. When you hear that
little girl start crying, that makes me.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Want to First of all, that guy who's making the call,
you're might be in the doorway, but you're in the
door way of a fucking women's bathroom. So why don't
you go outside and take your fucking private phone call
to the police about someone else helping a child wash
their hands in the bathroom, You absolute fucking moron.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I think because people might say, well, why can't it
Because I take Marley and layla mostly into the family bathroom,
or if you know, sometimes I'll take them into the
men's bathroom.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
I'll go in with them.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
But it looks like that video is from a truck stop,
and I have been I've been in some bathrooms off
the back of a petrol station that are fucking disgusting,
and I'm like, the men's bathroom like it's like it
is not clean, and I'm like, I don't really want
I'll say to Laura, like, hey, take them to the
girls because the men's is like even I'm going to
struggle pissing in here.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
But any level headed person would look at that situation
and be like, he's not there, of course, harm what's
the issue here? But what's the issue if if he's
like if anything, it's like, mate, you're at the door,
a fully grown man airing into a women's bathroom on
the phone, Why like, what does this have to.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Do with you thinking he's being a vigil andy helping
people out.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
I love how I know that everyone turned on that
guy as they should.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Well, apparently he called the cops and apparently he ended
up getting fined, yeah, for was wasting the service, so.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
They should lock him up.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
How you're saying that he made a little girl crime.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
There's people out there with that brain just roaming around
like that's more dangerous than anything. The fact that that
guy is out there thinking that I'm doing something good
when you're at being an absolute fucking idiot. I don't
know how. And to be honest, that dad modeled mature
behavior in front of his girls. I wouldn't have done that,
And that's just I'm a different person, not saying what
(45:44):
I would have done would have been right, but it
wouldn't have been. What he did was right, But I
don't have the patience to deal with some of that.
He would have he would have worn that phone, Yeah,
like he would be he would be shitting it out
right now.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I think clearly any adult can look at that situation
and make a call pretty quickly that that dad with
his two young daughters is not there to cause harm
to other people.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Do you think he wanted to be there? Probably not.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Yeah, it's awkward as in those situations, but it's like,
fucking hell, how are you an adult thinking like that?
Speaker 5 (46:16):
But also like, what's the alternative? He's going to take
his daughters into a male toilet where there's usually a
urinal as soon as you walk in the door. That's
way more harmful for little girls to see than the
safety of a female toilet where you know it's going
to be a protected and clean space.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
It's funny that a man was the one who had
a problem with it. A man had a problem with
what's happening in the women's bathroom. How often are you
in women's bathrooms? Bro, that's my first question. And second
of all, why the fuck are you in here? As well?
Speaker 4 (46:45):
Like, how did he get did he see him walk
in and followed him in?
Speaker 3 (46:48):
First of all, you've followed me and my family in,
and second of all, now you're watching my child do
his business. Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Can I ask you if you went into the women's
bathroom when there was a dad there with a young
girl so four or five years old, be your reaction.
Speaker 5 (47:01):
I'd definitely be shocked at first, but I don't think
I think I would sort of assess the situation quite quickly,
and I could see that that man was just trying
to be a good dad for his girls, and he
was just washing their hands. I think it's probably a
real case by KSE situation. I know there's a lot
of people that hang out in the family room at
Westfield at the moment.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
There was one time.
Speaker 5 (47:20):
I see on the Facebook groups it happens a lot
because there's a microwave in there, so a lot of
homeless people and a lot of men do go in there.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
To well microwaves. You know, they're asking for it to
warm up food. Now I know there's a microwave in there.
I'm getting straight in there, but like, I know what
you mean.
Speaker 4 (47:35):
But he's what you would do, yeah, because.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
You've got all the girls.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
I've never done it before.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
I don't know, just because I think it was absolutely desert.
Speaker 5 (47:45):
From the Bachelor and the girl's toilet.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
They are, Yeah, it'd be me on the phone.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
He's in here, He's in here again.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Do you know what I have done before?
Speaker 1 (47:52):
I have sent Marley into the girl's bathroom and I've
stood just outside and.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
It was one where there wasn't a doorway that you
could like I could be like mal Or Cain.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
She's like, I'm still pink.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
And there was another man that was like, oh, she okay,
and I was like, yeah, yeah, she's fine, and she's.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Like, now I'm doing a person honestly, I call the
police on me if it's if if you think that
I am doing the wrong thing. But I'm there to
protect the safety of my child, full stop, totally. I
don't give if you're gonna if you're gonna walk in.
I'm in a women's bathroom and I'm like, my daughter
is taking a shit right here. I'm not leaving her alone.
You'll have to physically drag me out of here, because
I think the right thing to do is of a
(48:30):
guardian to take care of their child full stop. I'm
not in there to peep on you taking a ship.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
The last thing I want to do is watch a
woman take a shit.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Okay, what I want to do is make sure that
my I don't know who's in there, I'm not going
to be like same. If it's in the men's I'm
going to be there. I'm going to be making sure
that my son and my daughter is one hundred percent
safe because that is my top priority. Call the police
on me and drag me out. But if that guy
called the police on me for taking my daughter into
a woman's bathroom, he would be shitting that phone out today.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Oh I love it when you get passionate.
Speaker 3 (49:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
So well.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
It's just common sense. Really a lucky the fact that
he got fined, he got in trouble. The fact that
that happened shows that justice was served and that guy.
And props to the dad for keeping his cool because
I wouldn't have I love that. Thank you. Don't fucking
ask me, well.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Have you enjoyed this episode? And Ash getting all hot
under the cold fucking sweating over here. I know you're
worked up. I love it. We would love it if
you give us a review. Perfectet, Happy birthday to me.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
I was like, it's not my birthday, and it's my
birthday off the top of the dome.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
It's fun. Why did you do that?
Speaker 4 (49:44):
I don't know. I don't know, swamp, call the police.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
I only learned Poppy's birthday like a month ago the
episode before. Now you're March, yes, correct if you've enjoyed
twenty two March twenty one, way off damn.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
But not this episode on YouTube, but the other ones
that I know what. A few people were like, well
the fuck are the episode on YouTube?
Speaker 3 (50:09):
They're not all you know?
Speaker 1 (50:10):
You know, you know where they are and we'll see
you guys on Wednesday and keep enjoying the holidays. Two
Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
(50:31):
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land
I was driving in the car the other day. I
looked behind me and I won't say which daughter this is.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I don't want to embarrass her.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
And I was like, what are you eating? She's like nothing,
and I was like eating something?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
What's that? What you? What are you chilling? And I
was like, is that got you get? Come wrong? Give
some gum? And she was like, my boogers.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And I was like, oh fucking hell, I've raised the
child that eats their own buggers.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Are we all going to sit here and pretend like
people don't eat their own boogers?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Still?
Speaker 4 (00:29):
What not me?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome back to two Darting Duds. I'm Maddie Ja.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
That definitely came out wrong. I'm ash and.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
This is a podcast all about panting. It is the good,
it is the.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Bad, and please explain yourself. I will admit when I
was I think I was grade six and I was like,
never into it.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
But I was like, let's just see what all the
fuss is about.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Yeah, everyone's I reckon, everyone's living in I reckon. You're
all living in denight, like every guy. Everyone, everyone's tried.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Their owncome at something.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Oh, I know it sounds on that it's good too.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Far, not me like, but but I've been close to
it's awful.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
You're all living in denight, you're all Egyptian. You ever
had your book?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Did it taste like?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Well, this morning was a bit.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's very salty.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I will it is it happens.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
Lily does it, and it drives me nuts, and she
thinks it's funny. Every time I say stop doing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
That, I reckon that.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I still when I saw Lily, I was like, she
looks like one.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Of those she looks like a booger reader.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, that's why I didn't want to give her a
hug when I saw it.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Now I'm definitely giving I was trying a befriend not anymore, Louis.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
He used to pick his nose. Not anymore, that's what
you think. I don't really see it though.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
He's still doing it. He's still doing it, and so
am I. She's always knuckled in that nose of her.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
She's like, it's disappointing. It's like I can imagine.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I reckon.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
I reckon a lot of adults living in denial, they
still accidentally do it.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I don't think.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Adults do it eating it. Yeah, I reckon. Okay, if
you're listening right now, and you're you're not afraid you
will meet it. Please, I reckon everyone's living in denial
because it's like we all do these disgusting things behind
closed doors that people don't think we're doing that we're
actually all doing.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
What else are you doing behind closed You don't want
to know?
Speaker 3 (02:49):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (02:50):
No, I don't know you do.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Like there's going to be something that you're you're like
you do behind closed doors that you're slightly ashamed about.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Okay, do you know what I see?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I tell you? What is it? If it's I whack
that's fucked up? Is like veggie mart and.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Book books are like Peter used.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
When I was younger.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Okay, how much younger.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
When I was when I was like primary school? You're
a grotten primary school.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I used to like the smell of the toe jam
on my fe Okay.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Yeah, don't pick.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
We don't judge. Well, okay, can you saying there is
something that you haven't done behind doors? Like there's something
that you're ashamed of.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
I know it.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Look yeah, she's like they know they know, because we
know what we know what you do?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Admitute, So there is.
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Something a little saint over here. I know it's like,
I don't know what my bos tastes like that you
can't wait to get their own. Yeah, the one that
we're all day so much goodness.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
You have to taste what you smell that day.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Okay, so this is a Monday housekeeping episode.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
It's not for us, this one for the boggery.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Well, actually, you know what. We were looking at the
numbers and look, we are a business. That's how we offer.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
We're not We're not here.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Well it is fun, obviously, but we we did our
end of financial year review of the numbers and we're like, well,
look at this episode. Obviously we've done this episode for
only a few months now, we've been doing it. Numbers
aren't great, numbers aren't good, and if they don't improve soon,
if there's not a drastic spite by the end of
(04:48):
this episode, all I'm saying is that it's your fault
listening right now because you didn't tell enough people about it.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Yeah, that's very true. I don't you know, I would
hate I've come in. I'm definitely ill still, I've come
in to do this. I could have been at home
eating my own book is and masturbating.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
But here I am showing up, showing up, missing out
on a great time. I know I'm not criticizing that, no,
but we just you know, we want we want to
let you know that we have all about transparency around
here here.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
So thank you for being here on every second Monday
where we do housekeeping, which is really all about you guys.
And that's what Vic wanted us to say.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
There was a lovely post in the Facebook group about
how much they love me.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh my god, that is so I.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Deleted it very arrogant. Okay, it's a little bit early.
I don't pick my nose when you do.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
What did it? Say?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
Again?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Said Maddie, Jay and Ash you are amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Thank you end of comment.
Speaker 5 (05:46):
But I have to say that Adam Victoria to the
team was an awesome decision. I love hearing her giggles
in the background as YouTube banter and I can imagine
her sitting there trying to contain her laughter and compose herself. Yeah,
thanks for the joy you bring to my ears.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And will who is that? Written by Linda is so great?
Speaker 5 (06:05):
I would never say that, but Chloe said, I'm usually
yelling at the boys in my car, and then Vic says,
what I'm yelling?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
What is she usually yelling?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That's lovely?
Speaker 5 (06:15):
Stop talking about pis and carm They want this one.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I just got to I don't know if she's I'm
assuming she's announced, announces publicly.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I'm going to say it. Kristen.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
So I got a message from her a little while ago,
and she just said, hey, thanks for showing me that
three kids is doable. About to try for number three?
God help us? I said, look, I take no responsibility.
It's great, and then she goes, yeah, it's not my
favorite the newborn phase, but anyway, wish me luck.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Got a message from her.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Oh no, okay, seven twins, and I hope she's announces publicly.
If anyone knows Kristen, she's got some exciting news because
she goes, loll try it for the third now.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Pregnant with twins. Oh my god, if you don't laugh,
you'll cry.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Oh actual, that's really tough. Is that my faulty?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Did I did I do this? Yeah? Sorry about that?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
N It's all right.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I mean, should I have talked her out of it?
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I wonder if they were like Matt did this?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
I reckon they'll name one of them. Matt, I hope
so Matt and Ash Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And if it's going Maddie or Ash Yeah, Ashley Ash.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Is it very Sma, Maddie Ash all interchangeable beautiful?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I mean, what exciting news. Twins number three and four
far out.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
That's buy one, get one free, literally that is.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And I hope, I hope they're easy kids.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I hope they're sleepers.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Gosh.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
But if they're not, you're in You're in lark because
every ten weeks or so there's this thing called school holidays,
and today is day one of school holidays. Yeah, so
best of luk to all of the dotors out there,
because it's honestly.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's hell.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's fucked.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
It's hell.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Hey, before you new school for the term, did you
guys have an athletics carnival?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Nah, you haven't done it.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I think it was the start of the year. It
wasn't real athletics. It was like games at.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
The start of the year. What are you doing having
athletics in January?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
That's they did that, And they did cross country pretty
early on that's back something like that. Yeah, in the
first term, I went cross county.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Rember oscar one no athletics, cannibal cross country, No that
I was here, all the good stuff.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, but they're not really doing April that's right. April
went and she was like, what's this. I was like,
what were you expecting? Beijing? They're like doing sandbag toss
or something that.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Yeah, for for I don't know, if it's Marley's obviously
grade one ken you definitely do egg and spoon rays
And I was like, I'm not going to miss half
a day and to watch that.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
No, I wouldn't. That's hard.
Speaker 5 (08:48):
Honestly, it'd be the cutest thing ever.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
Well, watching a bunch of kids drop their eggs and
then melting down.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Can I just say the last few.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Cross country as an example, I rocked up. The kids
were not into it. Me being there and them knowing
that I'm like meters away. They were like upset, didn't
want to do it. Came to me like, we're just
like I want dad, And I was like, that's nice, No,
it's not he wanted to do it.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm not raising losers of fair fair point.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
No, you do want them to have a go. But
that's so sweet that you're they comfortable like, But I was.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Like, get off me, I'm like, if I if I
wasn't there, they would have run it. So I'm like,
if I'm not, I've told them.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I'm not going to be there, going the bushes, you
know what.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I always ruined the surprise, But this is recorded a
week earlier, the athletic days tomorrow, and I'm like, I'm
not fucking doing it.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yeah, fair, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Fair. My parents never came to any of mine, but
they hated me. They didn't know. I think we all
went to Oscars. He loves it, though, He's like, I'm
going to fucking wea this shit.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
And if I had that kind of energy from my kids,
I'd be there. So they brought this upon themselves.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Fair.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Fair. I mean April does like she the first one
she went to. I think I was maybe he with you,
and she was like it was so sad or like
some of the year three boys. No one wanted to
do it, so they're all running and crying and I
was like, that sounds super entertaining. It's free.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
I don't want to do this.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I'll suck it up.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Yeah, they make them do it.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
They're going to hate swimming carnivals.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Then, yes, yeah, swimming carnivals especially, they're like, you gotta
wear speedoes. Remember those days where it was like I
try to wear my bodies like but like obviously like
budgets and the stuff. Now fine, because I'm a dad,
I can do it everything. I don't give me take
my pants.
Speaker 7 (10:33):
I was like, m Harry, you know the school assemblyoids
out the back and.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
I was like, freestyle, I'm more. I'm more of a
breaststroke guy myself. No, no, nothing, okay, sorry, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
I I zoned out for sports.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Day just tomorrow. And they have to do every single
with that, Like I know, cross country is one race
right the urine with the sports stage. Do they have
to do it all?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Or do they pick their pedigree?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And I don't know. I think it's I'm not into
the funny games.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
You're not into fun and end or games.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
No I want I'm a traditionalist. I want one hundred meters.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I don't want this.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
Spoon eggs for cooking, not for racing.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, I'm not so, I've opted out, so is Laura.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Yeah. Fair, It's just a silly game.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
We've seen enough.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
I've seen enough and I'm not interested.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Tap me in when it's grade three and then I'm
doing the two hundred meters or relay.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
That's what I want to see. That's what I stacy
little message here now before.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
That, it's your birthday, happy birthday whatever. Remember I always
remember six of July eighty seven?
Speaker 5 (11:58):
What?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
How does what?
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Where? Does that sit in your mind?
Speaker 5 (12:02):
Like?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Are you remembering it constantly?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
It's numbers. It's just numbers, like I remember my childhood
phone number, my home phone number, doub number four six
three too. Don't call it. That's good.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
Yeah, everyone remembers that. Really, it's one of the first
numbers you learn off my heart.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Let's not forget my birthday. Let's let's not rush through that.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
What do you got for me? I do have something
for you, but I left it at home. You have
to wait.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Do you want to just maybe a couple of compliments.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
About the gift or do you know what I did?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
If you're in a restaurant and it's not a big restaurant,
but if it's someone's birthday and they're singing happy birthday,
there's nothing worse than a meek happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
You gotta go all in, I said to April.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
If you sing me happy birthday in public. I'm leaving you.
I am that against it.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And I agree, but if it's someone else's birthday, I.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Got they loser.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Sorry. Something came over me at.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
A lot of anger. There was a table not far
from us. Young boy must have been.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Twelve, you singing to you're singing it out for twelve.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
The white stuff came out and it was the white
staff were a bit young, and I was mid mid meal,
and I like looked over and it was like it
was like watching an old lady get robbed.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I was like, did you get you go? That's not
how you do it. You stood up, he climbed over
the table. My daughter was like daddy, and I was like, fuck.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Me right now.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
That poor twelve year old boys like, oh.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Come on, who is there? I like looked across the
room and I thought we all need a band together
right now, you know, have a little community and needed
just someone to really really get the party started, like.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
When we like when I went up to congratulate Tony
and Ryan, you were like, fuck up, take it to
another level. I gave it some and then I looked
around and like, come on, what are Australians here made
for my? Help each other out?
Speaker 4 (14:23):
For the beer economy.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I think the boy was crying. And then when we left,
I went.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
He grabbed a child and I was like, yea, have
a good birthday and if not, I'll see the next one.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And I gave him fist bump and I was like,
you know, I'm sure I've made his year again my beer,
and I was.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Like, drink this, drink this.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
You're a man.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
You're a man now, son, And.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know, I just I felt it felt good. It
felt good to give back to the community.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah. I was just like, let's never go to that
restaurant ever again.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
So you were banned.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
So how how old are you turning today?
Speaker 8 (15:00):
Man?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Today, I'm turning thirty nine years old?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
How many months is that?
Speaker 2 (15:05):
What do you mean?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Well, we've had a lot of mums on the on
the call today they were the only work in months.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Thirty nine times. Told I can't do that.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Maybe we should say something nice about Matt.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I always say nice things about him.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Fucking if you have lovely hair, where are your hat?
Speaker 3 (15:22):
That's that's why I.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Said, it's lovely.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
You're a real go getter. So happy birthday.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
Ash hates getting.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
I hate giving them to what one I'm ready.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Matt loves compliments.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
What have I got?
Speaker 5 (15:41):
I would like to say Matt is a very kind,
very positive person. He's very uplifting. He's also very generous,
and he's a good interviewer. He's a good friend, good colleague.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
What she said, Yeah, Dad can.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Sing happy birthday as well.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
I was going to say. I was going to say
anyone can sing happy birthday. It's this guy, Happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Thank you?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
And what one more summer?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
And do you know what you can do for me?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
If you're listening right now on Spotify, you can write
happy birthday on the episode.
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Oh yeah, that will really make it.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
I'll be.
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Bali salivating over his phone.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I'm going to do it. But April and I share
a Spotify count. It'll say April, but it'll be from me.
I think.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
When you get home, you're April. Make sure added to
your list.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
You're gonna write your birthday amount to in the calendar
on Spotify's in the calendar, so she'll get to it.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Thank you very much for remembering, and I thank you
for the coming words.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
And I forgot to bring your birthday president, which was
a lot of thought went into it.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Okay, so you're not gonna tell me what it did.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
So when you get back, it's more of a visual thing.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Picture my I can't tell you joking or not.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I don't joke. I'm not knowing that.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
One of the dotors, Stacey's, in a news update to
us that said Australia could now soon be taxing owners
of Pokemon cards and for you to watch out.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
How are they gonna police this because unless the're gonna
come to my house and be like, have we got
to wring more guns? And chance we're going to tax
you on And it's so I'm going to come and
value them because that'd be great too. So I don't
know how they get I just don't know. They always
feel like they always throw out these things. Well it's like.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
It's like when they tried to say if you're a
content creator and you get a gift, your gifted something,
you got to claim that as as like part income.
Fuck off, right, we're going to pay for like chocolate
with its priceless to the government. Like that's a great rule,
and I think everyone should have buyed by them. But
get a fucking grip.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's so ridiculous. What am I gonna you know what
I'm gonna do. If I get gifted something, I'm going
to chop two thirds off it and then send it
to the ATO and be like, there's your bit, because
I'm not getting any money for it, So why the
funk should you get money for it?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I actually don't know if that's true, so.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Don't quote me on this. So now they're going to
tax my Pokemon cards that are hidden in a drawer
somewhere out of sight due to shame.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I think Dave Hugh said that.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Who knows if he's okay? Right right? Yeah, I don't
know me that guy.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
If you're coming to us for advice on tax legislation, ash,
I got a message here from Brad. It's always nice
to hear from the dads. He says, Hey, guys and
Vic Kington know from the doting community the dotes if
you will. What are some of your kids most inappropriate
favorite songs? My son is three, and his absolute favorite
(18:35):
song the play It fifty times a day. Kind is
Homewrecker by Somber.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Home Wrecker by Somber.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Such a banger.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Okay, let me do you know which one it is?
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Got a little bit of scus, This is about it?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
This is.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
Oh that's what it sounds like. You ripped that off.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
That has it has lyrics like your hit like a
drunk cigarette. I don't want to be a home wrecker.
I want to kiss you on the bed and on
the floor.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Nice when your kids are like, yeah, you're on the bed,
on the floor, put it in my mouth.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
Put it back in my mouth?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Way was it? Take it out and put it back
in my.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Neighbless to say, this is pretty wild line coming out of.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
A three year old Brad.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I want to kiss you on the floor. Put it
back in again? What what is your name?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Any songs that your kids listen to, they are a
little bit inappropriate.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
If they could speak Spanish because they're into bad Bunny.
They speak fluent bad Bunny. It's that's how they sing it,
because that's how I see it because I don't speak Flish,
but Shaggy it wasn't me. I just don't think they
quite understand the bits in the middle where it's like
you caught me, but they get butt naked because now
they're like, you butt naked? Yeah, because that's just funny
(20:08):
because the word butts in it and naked. But the
bit they love the most is it was me, But
I don't think they quite understand the bits in the middle.
They got me burt naked, laying on.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
The bathroom Is it banging on the bathroom floor or
laying in the bathroom floor?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I think it's banging.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Is it banging?
Speaker 5 (20:22):
Yeah, it's not lying.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Yeah, so I think that's probably that's red hot. That's
red hot. There's a couple of others that at the
moment they're sort of running through diet PEPSI.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Actually, Addison Ray shout out to my Addie Ray, Ok.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
In the rips.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
My ass looks good.
Speaker 5 (20:51):
After that.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Essentially touch x.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
April having sex to that? Do you really?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
I'm sorry, babe, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Do you ever listen to music?
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Nah?
Speaker 3 (21:08):
No, time.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
We get through zero songs, I just put jungle music on.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
And then I don't know, what do you go? What
do you guys listen to? I don't know. One second,
there's sounds of the other there's a Jane andthing going on. Okay,
there's all right. She's my Jane and that's how we
(21:36):
like it.
Speaker 4 (21:38):
She carries me into the bedroom quite often, you know.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Little theaters are swinging from the vines when we have sex. Uh, no,
music's complete silence. Do people? Is it help?
Speaker 4 (21:49):
I don't do it?
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Does it help out there? I actually think it would
probably help me because I'm the choir guy in the room.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So if there was like some background noise, all we
can hear is the white noise from Pop's room next door.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
It's like, you should have a soundtrack of someone just
doing dirty talks, like that's the song we've got. We're
gonna have sec up.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Fulling a slate up to five minutes.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
It's like you should, you know how You're like, I'm
not very good at dirty talk. You should just get
like a dirty talk playlist and have someone been there
like yeah, I'm naddy ja you like that what he said?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
It's going to cut this part.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
Yeah, Ash's voice deeper.
Speaker 5 (22:26):
Any dotors have a good sexy playlists?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Your best sex song? Sabrina Carpenter the girls I love
her and she has a song called Taste.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
The boys love her too.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Everyone loves a bit of Sabrina. She's just blowing up.
Is that insinuating that she's getting wet?
Speaker 5 (22:51):
Yes, she says, I'm going to need to go home now, Laura.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Get ready put something sexy.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
She's like what about your kids?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
Me? What do you got? Lewis Loves Watermelon Sugar by.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Harry stutn't bag.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
That's a great song.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
It is a good song. I know. I always thought
like there was some sort of insinuation that it was
to do with sex, and then I just googled it
and it says watermelon sugar represents the sweet, addictive taste
and euphoria associated with oral sex.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
I thought it had something to do with the sexual
act with a watermelon.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
But nuts, wow, that would be quite changes the song entirely.
He loves a fruit salad.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
He does.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
It's just fruit salad, but like a fifteen plus version.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah, but he's like, oh my god, I can't the watermelon.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Everything I've been enjoying with my kids is so inappropriate.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Everything's in approach. Realistically, we're going back to the wiggles
that it's probably inappropriate. Actually, just to the dotors out there,
if there are any, can I finish a sentence please,
so I apologize. There are already dotors out there that
have any songs their kids are obsessed with that are filthy.
Send them in. I'm interested, you pervert, shut up?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Can I ask you a quick question because no, I
know you in April enjoy each other's company in the
bedroom quite often go on, lights on, the lights off?
Speaker 2 (24:15):
What's going on there? Well, good question, thank you?
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Lamp on?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
What lamp?
Speaker 5 (24:20):
Mood lighting?
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah, baby, where's that? Where one just bedside table lamp?
But like one of them's light is less. It's quite nice,
nice moody, like a drive a light bulb? You got
for that over there?
Speaker 4 (24:32):
What about you?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Lights off?
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Don't look at me.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
We will go there's a street light. Sometimes if we
pull the curtains back, the street light is like a nice.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
It's just a street light, April. No way, a curtain
could be open, just in case when people aren't looking.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Or sometimes we will go, this is really sexy if
we're trying to set the move up.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Nothing sexy than street light.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
No, well, the light reading the light of the en
suite and we turn that on and then we slightly
ajar the door.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Slider too, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
And so sometimes I'm they're like naked with an erection being.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Like this a little less on the left and to
the left things that's yeah, too much but darker.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
And I'm on this, I'm on the street like going
more yeah, open that now, close that.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Because the house across the road is currently being built,
so it's you know, no one's looking in except for
the for me, except for you.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Because we only have a nighttime sex.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
How late ten o'clock. That's late, is it?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Sort that out having every hour on the hour, No,
like eight o'clock. Max.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Kids aren't even sleep, Yeah, my kids are. They're laying
being like, oh god.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Although they're at it, they're at it again. Yeah, we
are worried about them coming in. It's part of the thrill.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
No, it's not.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
It's we usually way. It's like, have you checked on them? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Are they out?
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Oh yeah yeah yeah most of the time.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Put the lamp on.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Sometimes we think they're out.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Is the lamp exclusively a sex lamp?
Speaker 3 (26:11):
It's still a reading lamp too. Oh so it's very confusing.
When are we reading books?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Are we fucking yea?
Speaker 4 (26:17):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (26:18):
What do we do?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
Like get out of the shower. I'm like, I can't
read the ring right now?
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Or that the lights off? I know.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
Funny because we've actually got it's called a sex candle,
and you're supposed to light it when you want to
have sex that night so the other one knows.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Ah.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
That just reminds me of four year old version when
he lights the candles and turns all the pictures the
other way before he drives Masurate. Actually without TV. It's
one of those frame TVs and you've got pictures on it,
and sometimes it just turns itself on and it's like
a picture sequence of the kids.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
It's like, quick, turn it off. The kids are watching.
Speaker 3 (26:51):
But are you ever do you ever help me in
bed and go?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Oh fuck the candles lit?
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Just walk past it. Oh we're out. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
It's like dam.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yes, damn.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's damn. Parents. We got wine a little pair o
we can we do? We may as well pay the
intro terry. Listen to this.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
Want of it?
Speaker 3 (27:29):
Say what, man, I feel like a parent. It's from
Terry or Terry. I'm undisclosed Terry.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Is it a terry?
Speaker 3 (27:43):
It's Terry.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
It's Terry ashes being silly.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
It's in capital. So I didn't yell it. So other
parents at a gated playground not closing the gate behind
them on their way out. Don't get me wrong, it's
my responsibility to watch my kids. But dang little mate
is fast and a close gate slows them down long
enough that I can catch up with these gates things. Yeah,
(28:06):
on parks, it's always like when I go to let
my kid out, another kid comes up, and I'm like,
this is awkward because I don't know you.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
So I was at a park recently with my kids.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Glad we mave that up and I opened the gate
and my kids was taking forever and I was like,
come on, kids, and I was there like opening the
gate to be like hurry up, hurry up. Out of nowhere,
lightning fast, two young children must have been about four
or five came running. There's also a couple of adults
were also leaving at the same time, so I was
kind of half telling my kids to hurry up, also
(28:41):
being polite for the other parents. These two kids straight through,
and I was kind of like, I know it's and
all of a sudden there's a mom who's like.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Timmy, fuck, Timmy's a runner.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
She starts bolting and I'm there like being like, oh shit,
I've just did she put the pace on accidentally.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Well, she was sprinting everything, and I was like, so sorry.
It happened so quick. She was fucking furious at her kids.
I was almost like hey, like that was kind of
my fault. Sorry, but I was like, let's get out
of here.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
I will say, April at full pace, turns me on,
when did you see it at full pace? Oscars like, mum,
chase these it was a ball and she really put
the really got the knees up, really moving. I was like,
damn girl, wow so fast. That's why I asked, was
she really well, I think I've got one somewhere, but
like chats and pats on her. That's why I asked,
was she Was she really legging it?
Speaker 5 (29:35):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:36):
She was was older. It was like a half as
could be a grandma anyway.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
So any of your kids runners, Nah, like, thankfully not.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
I didn't really have Oscar's too afraid to be left alone.
He's like, ah, on the side of his booster seat.
Now he says, do not leave kids under tents in
the car.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
And he was like, see, see, just because you're going
to play for petrol, I have to come.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
I'm like, okay, I was hoping. It's hoping a group
of people took you. Now.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
The only thing that Marley did one time, and she's
pretty great.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
She were at the park and she went to the
toilet by herself, but didn't tell anyone.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
That's scary.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
And so I was like, oh, you know, because there's
always moments we don't know where the kids are because
they're in a tree or doing something.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
And I kind of scanned around and I was like,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Why I was a Marley was like checking every nicole,
nook and cranny of the playground and I.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Was like, Laura, I've lost Marley that.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
I was like, for a split second, You're like, fuck,
just this is the worst case scenario. Where the fuck
is she?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
And then eventually after be like.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
The newspaper around and I was like, didn't you ever
do that again? And she's like, I can't ship anymore.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I was like, fucking hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Oscar, We're at rocket shit part the other day and
Oscar was like to me, he was like, I'm just
gonna go to the toilet. It's just there. And I'm like, yes, sweet,
no worries. And Abral comes home. It's a whiz, Oscar
is it in the bathroom. It's like, oh, okay, chill out.
The buffing's like right there. But I can imagine, like
my kids, they're too afraid to do anything on their own.
But I was Oscar did this this instance because he
(31:10):
felt comfortable there because we go there all the time.
But like I think the whole gate thing, like I
don't know what, I never know what to do. It's
such one of those moments because the one time where
you you lapse in judgment with the time a kid
runs out and Booth gets to buy a car or something.
Speaker 5 (31:25):
I think you can let kids in, just don't let
them know.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
I don't let them in. Fuck yeah, because like all
the kids nod. Remember I didn't let those kids in
when I was me and Macy and the mom like
kind of snarled at me a little because I didn't
let me in, and I was like, I don't know who.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
This kid is.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Got to play it safe anyway, don't let anyone in,
don't let anyone out.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
I like it, Matt. You know, we do love a
good hack around here. Who told you well in these
housekeeping episodes we do save all this sort of stuff,
including hacks that we do get because parents love hacks
if they work. So we got send a couple.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Did I tell you the idea that I had for
this segment? No parenting hack or fuck that?
Speaker 5 (31:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
We run it for ages. We ran that for a while.
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Here.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Yeah, we definitely had that.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
You're a fucking liar?
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Wow. Yeah, Yeah, we definitely had hack that. Okay, whoa, whoa,
I'll put my life on it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
When I have to kill you.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
You we have definitely done because people have written it.
I was like, don't do it.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
I'm like it was a people have written on the.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Facebook group and looking up and like for Hackle, fun
that or for something else.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
I've seen that. We have had Hackle that.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
I think in the parenting group, I said, what do
you guys think of this segment? Idea name?
Speaker 3 (32:35):
We definitely have ran a couple of is a Hackle
funk that?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Well, I can't remember where I put my phone down
and I forget in two seconds.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
We have, so my memory is probably not the best
to use.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
I'm living, I'm gonna live.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Do I want to bet my life.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Shouldn't do it because you'll be wrong. I have to
kill you and I will enjoy it.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
Yeah, we definitely there was a parenting hack or fuck
that that came through in June last month.
Speaker 4 (33:02):
Last month. Yeah, and then they're the Facebook group and
I told you, You've definitely told me you've said it.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, I will die on this.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
You have you have you You're gonna die? How are
you gonna kill me slowly?
Speaker 2 (33:18):
With what twees?
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Okay, and that's not the hack.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
It's definitely you definitely have you definitely have said it
on the pod with things before like hack of fuck that.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
Well, like there's a couple of years from March, damn it,
March five.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Okay, Well, this one has come from Joe.
Speaker 8 (33:41):
You can cook schnitzel in the air fryer. You can
cook salmon in the air fryer. You can cook sausages
in the air those weird fucking small tiches that kids
like from Cole's in the air fryer. And you can
do that every fourth night for the rest of twenty
twenty six. It is the best cheat code I was
(34:02):
ever given. And that's the best thing I've ever done.
One Boy, One Girl is also really hard parenting wise.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
People don't kind of give it enough.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Is this the parenting podcastion?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Basically, can you shut the fuck up? Okay, Joe's talking here, Joe.
I'm so sorry, Joe, hurry up.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Here's the point. He turns out my job.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
She's very good.
Speaker 5 (34:25):
It's No, I did a rand on my own Instagram
and she sent this audio message like that is such
a good hack. I'm actually going to put it on
the podcast.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
You sent you a podcast.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
You're interrupting.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Job enough for Joe.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Okay, back to Joe.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
This is the last time.
Speaker 8 (34:44):
Joe's one of my mates who's got two severely ADHD kids.
Did you tell me to put on that Minion's Miss
Mission Impossible soundtrack?
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Like dunt dunt dunt dun d d?
Speaker 4 (34:57):
Did you put it on instead of singing it?
Speaker 5 (34:59):
Singing it?
Speaker 8 (35:00):
The kids fucking love it and they have to be
ready to leave standing at the front door.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
It's actually fun to finish the end, like quick, get.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Your shoes on.
Speaker 8 (35:12):
It's like dun't dunt dunt dun dun d d, And
that's kind of cool.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
You're fucking in the trenches man.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Furthermore, my previous comments earlier, I.
Speaker 5 (35:24):
Wasn't going to play the whole sorry.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
I like her and I like her swearing.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
She had good twains that was like, I like that.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
Also, I tried it this morning, the Minion song. I
put it on and straight away you could see little
Luisi's pick up and he was like he loved it,
and it was like something. I was like, quick, we've
got to go and the somebody about the music, like
quick get and yeah, they did it fast.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I'm gonna try that tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Okay, thanks Joe.
Speaker 5 (35:54):
We need all the help we can get to get
it written by No.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I'm like that was the longest voice message? Was that
a voice message?
Speaker 5 (36:01):
Like?
Speaker 3 (36:01):
Did she just leave that on her phone.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Or you guys having a conversation you just recorded it?
Speaker 5 (36:05):
No? No, no, it was a voice message. I was
going to cut the rest out and just use the minions.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I like it. No, leave the leave their fry, fry's
good gear.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
I'm glad we got there.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Shout out to the parents who have the one boy,
one girl, thank you.
Speaker 5 (36:18):
Yeah, it is hard hard, it's hard for us. I can't.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
I could never. I don't understand what you guys are
going through.
Speaker 3 (36:24):
We got three of them, so it's just like that.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
It's a lot bit worse in the parenting hierarchy. I
fucking am on top of you, guys.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
I am really finding it hard.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
It's the way you like it, isn't it that's supposed
to me?
Speaker 5 (36:36):
Like Louis versus Lily at the moment, Like, Lily's so
well behaved, and I know kids go back and forth
all the time, but Louie's going through this really naughty phase.
And I'm finding it really hard to not give too
much praise to Lily because she's doing whatever I ask
her to do, but literally every day, and I don't
want to embarrass him, but he is wetting his pants
(36:59):
every day the mine like coming home last night, he
came home his shorts were soaked, and I'm like, buddy,
what did you do. I'm just trying to get him
into the toilet so he can go and change and
get into clean clothes and stuff. But he, like everyone
at school's asking him, like just change, and he's like no,
oh really, yeah, he won't go. What is Jens well,
(37:19):
She says, like, just go back to what was working originally,
which was trying to just boost his confidence and tell
him this happens to lots of kids because that's when
he actually got better. But that was like when he
was back in preschool.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Is he just not? Is he just ignoring that he
needs to weak because he wants.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
To play like a little bit of that, but he's
got an overactive bladder, so We've been to a doctor
to see if it was a physical problem, because you've
got to rule that out first. And he's yeah, he's
got an erective bladder.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Which things like it's just like a like he needs
to wean more often.
Speaker 5 (37:50):
Yeah, so when it contracts, it sends messages to his
brain that he needs to weed then and there and
he can't feels like he can't hold it him.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (37:58):
Yeah, I didn't know that was Yeah, and it's really
sad because it's not his fault. But also he is
capable of going to the toilet. Like I said to
him today, if you feel like you're gonna wet your pants,
just run to the toilet straight away, Like, do not
listen to anyone around you, just run instead of just
wean the whole thing in his pants.
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Yeah, does you feel like you can't just go?
Speaker 5 (38:22):
I don't know. He gets embarrassed, maybe, but he says
he's not allowed to just get up and go. But
I have been working with this teacher constantly. Yeah, and
it's hard to not get angry all the time when
you're doing so much washing.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
It's a fucking nightmare. I remember growing up and wetting
the bed and being like I want to get in
trouble for this, because you're like as a parent, it's
in the middle of the night, as a knock on
the door and it's like, I've just pissed the bed.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
You're like, fuck, it's really hard them because wet the
bear and didn't tell me until the night before he
was getting into bed and he was like, oh yeah.
I was like, why didn't you tell me? And he
was like I was gonna get in trouble. I'm like no, no, yeah,
(39:10):
but no, you're not like it's a weird thing because
you're like in the middle of the night, you're like, oh,
for fux sake, But the for foxs sake is like,
you're not in trouble.
Speaker 5 (39:18):
For this because just annoyed I had to wake up. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Yeah, but they just see it. He's like, I've disappointed you,
and you're the one person they don't want to disappoint.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
Yeah, exactly. And I say to him, look, he's like,
am I in trouble. I'm like, no, you're not in trouble,
but I just want to help you. But I can't
help you if you're not going to help me, and
like help yourself.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Making washes on clothes. That's what happens. Oh, I mean physically,
like no, no, you've got to go put them in
the watch. So like at the moment we had the
shoe basket in the laundry and what's happened is Macy
or Oscar I can't remember which one it was, had
really wet shoes and just chucked him in there all
the other shoes. When I talk like what the fuck
(39:56):
stinks in here? And I was like, all right, well
that's it. The shoe basket is going out of the
house and you've got to actually go and put your
shoes out there. And now they'll they'll do it with
the washing. I'm like, your fucking socks stink. Like I'm not.
I'm sick of fucking carrying your socks. Go and put
them away. So now they're like, all right, the amount
of clothes they use has dramatically dropped. So Oscar would
(40:17):
be like, I've got a tiny mark on this shirt.
Your shirt, I'm like, you've got to walk it all
the way wearing that for a week. Yeah, you're got
to walk it all the way to the laundry.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (40:25):
So maybe just say hey, look, I know it's really tough.
Speaker 3 (40:29):
So why don't we to help mummy out because you're
not in trouble, but to help mummy out with the
washing so we can all move on and get along.
I'll show you how to do the washing. Who probably
stop pissing his pants? At least it might be not
as frequent. You might go, oh shit, I could run
to the toilet now and we we and tell Mommy
that I just left the classroom, or go home and
(40:51):
I'm gonna do the washing myself. I don't know, try
try that.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
I'm not an expert, but I mean, if any dotors
out there have any advice on because you're hands, I
would bloody love some because I'm at more with him.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Fair enough.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
This has been going on since we toilet trained him
at three and a half and he's almost six.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
That's tough, and it's gotten worse.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
And is there anything that they can prescribe for the bladder?
Speaker 5 (41:15):
Yeah, there is a medication they can put him on,
but I don't really want to go down that of sure. No,
yeah for sure, because she also said it is like
a lifeless and he also needs to learn about going
to the toilet.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
M tricky.
Speaker 5 (41:28):
So we just have to schedule toilet reminder every specific
times of the day, and we've got a stick a chot.
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, we're so like no one leaves the house until
they at least try to go to the bath and
that includes me. Matt. Speaking of bathrooms, we have a
bathroom related dotor dilemma.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Shall we absolutely?
Speaker 3 (41:52):
Now you need us more than ever. Know that we
still have each other. You can sure doting dilemma.
Speaker 4 (42:00):
The dilemma Ella Ella ed.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
I don't know if you've seen this video, ash, but
it got sent in a lat and it blew up
on tiktokets from America.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
I'm going to play this big surprise.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
This is a video of a dad who went into
a female bathroom with his daughter and then was approached
by another man. So to give context, it makes sense
when he hit the audio.
Speaker 3 (42:32):
I'm standing in the doorway of the lady's bathroom. Okay,
my wife.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
There is a man with his two little girls using
the women's bathroom.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
He is washing his hands with his.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Daughters right now.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
He is leaving it.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Sorry, baby. She is waiting to use the restaurant with
her mother who was very ill, and there was all
the oxygen just immature.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
And he's refusing, he's taking his sweet I.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Have two girls washing their hands.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
You let this lady.
Speaker 3 (43:14):
This woman is a lot, she's a woman.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
She can bring her daughters in here. She's a marriage
with the QT.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
I'm going that's her, I understand.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
And you don't have his business in.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
The women's bathroom. They're girls. They go to the women's
bathroom as soon as he leaves as the women's bathroom.
In my world, I'm standing in the doorway. Can I say,
first of all, please to the dad with the two girls,
full credit for remaining calm, because I know my blood
is boiling.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Right, you lose your temper.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Never, I don't lose my temper.
Speaker 5 (43:47):
That makes me want to cry. When you hear that
little girl start crying, that makes me.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Want to First of all, that guy who's making the call,
you're might be in the doorway, but you're in the
door way of a fucking women's bathroom. So why don't
you go outside and take your fucking private phone call
to the police about someone else helping a child wash
their hands in the bathroom, You absolute fucking moron.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
I think because people might say, well, why can't it
Because I take Marley and layla mostly into the family bathroom,
or if you know, sometimes I'll take them into the
men's bathroom.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
I'll go in with them.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
But it looks like that video is from a truck stop,
and I have been I've been in some bathrooms off
the back of a petrol station that are fucking disgusting,
and I'm like, the men's bathroom like it's like it
is not clean, and I'm like, I don't really want
I'll say to Laura, like, hey, take them to the
girls because the men's is like even I'm going to
struggle pissing in here.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
But any level headed person would look at that situation
and be like, he's not there, of course, harm what's
the issue here? But what's the issue if if he's
like if anything, it's like, mate, you're at the door,
a fully grown man airing into a women's bathroom on
the phone, Why like, what does this have to.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
Do with you thinking he's being a vigil andy helping
people out.
Speaker 3 (45:08):
I love how I know that everyone turned on that
guy as they should.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
Well, apparently he called the cops and apparently he ended
up getting fined, yeah, for was wasting the service, so.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
They should lock him up.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
How you're saying that he made a little girl crime.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
There's people out there with that brain just roaming around
like that's more dangerous than anything. The fact that that
guy is out there thinking that I'm doing something good
when you're at being an absolute fucking idiot. I don't
know how. And to be honest, that dad modeled mature
behavior in front of his girls. I wouldn't have done that,
And that's just I'm a different person, not saying what
(45:44):
I would have done would have been right, but it
wouldn't have been. What he did was right, But I
don't have the patience to deal with some of that.
He would have he would have worn that phone, Yeah,
like he would be he would be shitting it out
right now.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I think clearly any adult can look at that situation
and make a call pretty quickly that that dad with
his two young daughters is not there to cause harm
to other people.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Do you think he wanted to be there? Probably not.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Yeah, it's awkward as in those situations, but it's like,
fucking hell, how are you an adult thinking like that?
Speaker 5 (46:16):
But also like, what's the alternative? He's going to take
his daughters into a male toilet where there's usually a
urinal as soon as you walk in the door. That's
way more harmful for little girls to see than the
safety of a female toilet where you know it's going
to be a protected and clean space.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
It's funny that a man was the one who had
a problem with it. A man had a problem with
what's happening in the women's bathroom. How often are you
in women's bathrooms? Bro, that's my first question. And second
of all, why the fuck are you in here? As well?
Speaker 4 (46:45):
Like, how did he get did he see him walk
in and followed him in?
Speaker 3 (46:48):
First of all, you've followed me and my family in,
and second of all, now you're watching my child do
his business. Get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1 (46:54):
Can I ask you if you went into the women's
bathroom when there was a dad there with a young
girl so four or five years old, be your reaction.
Speaker 5 (47:01):
I'd definitely be shocked at first, but I don't think
I think I would sort of assess the situation quite quickly,
and I could see that that man was just trying
to be a good dad for his girls, and he
was just washing their hands. I think it's probably a
real case by KSE situation. I know there's a lot
of people that hang out in the family room at
Westfield at the moment.
Speaker 3 (47:18):
There was one time.
Speaker 5 (47:20):
I see on the Facebook groups it happens a lot
because there's a microwave in there, so a lot of
homeless people and a lot of men do go in there.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
To well microwaves. You know, they're asking for it to
warm up food. Now I know there's a microwave in there.
I'm getting straight in there, but like, I know what
you mean.
Speaker 4 (47:35):
But he's what you would do, yeah, because.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
You've got all the girls.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
I've never done it before.
Speaker 3 (47:42):
I don't know, just because I think it was absolutely desert.
Speaker 5 (47:45):
From the Bachelor and the girl's toilet.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
They are, Yeah, it'd be me on the phone.
Speaker 4 (47:48):
He's in here, He's in here again.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Do you know what I have done before?
Speaker 1 (47:52):
I have sent Marley into the girl's bathroom and I've
stood just outside and.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
It was one where there wasn't a doorway that you
could like I could be like mal Or Cain.
Speaker 3 (48:03):
She's like, I'm still pink.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
And there was another man that was like, oh, she okay,
and I was like, yeah, yeah, she's fine, and she's.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Like, now I'm doing a person honestly, I call the
police on me if it's if if you think that
I am doing the wrong thing. But I'm there to
protect the safety of my child, full stop, totally. I
don't give if you're gonna if you're gonna walk in.
I'm in a women's bathroom and I'm like, my daughter
is taking a shit right here. I'm not leaving her alone.
You'll have to physically drag me out of here, because
I think the right thing to do is of a
(48:30):
guardian to take care of their child full stop. I'm
not in there to peep on you taking a ship.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
The last thing I want to do is watch a
woman take a shit.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Okay, what I want to do is make sure that
my I don't know who's in there, I'm not going
to be like same. If it's in the men's I'm
going to be there. I'm going to be making sure
that my son and my daughter is one hundred percent
safe because that is my top priority. Call the police
on me and drag me out. But if that guy
called the police on me for taking my daughter into
a woman's bathroom, he would be shitting that phone out today.
Speaker 2 (49:00):
Oh I love it when you get passionate.
Speaker 3 (49:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
So well.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
It's just common sense. Really a lucky the fact that
he got fined, he got in trouble. The fact that
that happened shows that justice was served and that guy.
And props to the dad for keeping his cool because
I wouldn't have I love that. Thank you. Don't fucking
ask me, well.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
Have you enjoyed this episode? And Ash getting all hot
under the cold fucking sweating over here. I know you're
worked up. I love it. We would love it if
you give us a review. Perfectet, Happy birthday to me.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
I was like, it's not my birthday, and it's my
birthday off the top of the dome.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
It's fun. Why did you do that?
Speaker 4 (49:44):
I don't know. I don't know, swamp, call the police.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
I only learned Poppy's birthday like a month ago the
episode before. Now you're March, yes, correct if you've enjoyed
twenty two March twenty one, way off damn.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
But not this episode on YouTube, but the other ones
that I know what. A few people were like, well
the fuck are the episode on YouTube?
Speaker 3 (50:09):
They're not all you know?
Speaker 1 (50:10):
You know, you know where they are and we'll see
you guys on Wednesday and keep enjoying the holidays. Two
Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
(50:31):
Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land
Popular Podcasts
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.