July 14, 2026 • 45 mins
Matt's on the brink after a house full of nits and a swimming lesson that never happened. He's also discovered that entertaining a baby is a lot harder than it looks after realising he has no idea how to play with Poppy.
Despite being sick, Ash has loaded up on vitamins and is ready to vent, starting with the ever-growing list of foods Oscar has decided he's scared of.
Plus, the annoying things kids do that are actually signs you're nailing parenting, and the parenting faux pas Matt says you'll regret if you don't avoid it.
If you need a shoulder to cry on:
Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'd love to know where those sandbags are that I've ordered.
They're like, that's a real mystery. I forgot about that.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I forgot about dumb, forgot. If you don't know what
we're talking about, what are.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
My thun bugs.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
The beach? Dumb?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Excuse me? Falcing back to two dating dads. I am
(00:41):
Maddie Jay and this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Sorry that was a big yawn when you were midway
through that, and the relatable how's that? Sorry? Are you?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Can I just say once again, I'm ruining, ruining the illusion.
Here we are on hold days. I hope you're having
a good holiday if you're listening. Ash is not. But
we had to record these a couple of back to
back records before I went away, before Vic went away
and left me here all my own, and we left you.
And so Ash has not been well and he's pushed
(01:16):
through in tough circumstances and I appreciate it. I'm sure
the listeners appreciate it. And right now, I'm sure the
last thing you want to be doing is sitting here
talking to me. You'd rather be at home masturbating and
the fact that you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You're right, I would much. No, I'm mu sure to
be here masturbating by the way, my pants were off. No,
I'm having to be here, be honest.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Have you masturbated in the new studio?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No? Have you? No?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Hell?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Dan definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Just paint that wall and he.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Can do it.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Name.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
He sullied his own name. He's all over the wall.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
So thank you, thank you forbating everything, everything you do
for this podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I felt patronizing. What do I do? Good question? What
do I do?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You just you're digging deep right now.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I exist. My tongue hurts go on ulcer on my
tongue from but I don't know. I just I've just
been unwell, just traditionally unwell.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
What are you taking right now? To help?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
The good stuff? VIC gave me some horse coming radish,
I hooked him up and vitamin C.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
How's it going down?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
It's good, girthy. Thank you, Thank you for asking. Tell
you what vitamins are getting big? Yeah, you've seen the
size of these things.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I don't take vitamins. I don't believe in them.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I don't really take them either, but I do and
I'm sick because I'm like oh quick. I never preemptively
take him. I just when it's too late. Gave me
the horse cam and the Buttom Sea, well, how much?
What are you drink now?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Or pre vitamins? Are like so fucking desperate, Like, please
work moving forward, I'll take you all the time, Like
every week, I promise.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I'm eating foods with like zinc and them like this
one's got vitamin C and I eat this one.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And then as soon as you get better, you're like,
work you again.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, ild you like an orange? Get that ship out
of here. Give me the Is there any vitamin C
in the big Mac? Give me the oreos? Definitely? No?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Are you you're doing great?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Really well, such a good job.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
My throat is burning.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
But let's crack onf fucking hell, let's go.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
It's crack on. Let's get it's good done.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
When I messed to another episode, I messaged you and
said happy Saturday. It was a happy Sunday, and You're like,
what's happy about it?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
We were all sick and I'm just like, fuck, do
you know? Actually I was crooked Friday and April was
worse than me, So I like, did well? I did
did the pick up? I was going to school disco
I just had to hang around for and I was
just like, this fucking sucks. It's whole fucking things. So
but April was like, I feel so bad and it's like, well, no,
(04:02):
were you sick, So I'm gonna I'm gonna lift that
she wasn't doing as much, and I was like, don't
be ridiculous, and I'm like disbuilding upresentment in the background.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Then the king half fallen the day after where I
was like and getting sick on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It sucks, you know, because it's like you can't especially
with kids. You're like with kids, it's kind of nice
if you're like I'm seeking. You miss out on all
the things that you didn't want to go to, which
is great. But I was like, oh now I feel
bad because I'm not doing anything. And April's like, see
how that's how I felt. And it's like yesterday when
I felt a little little bit better, I was like, right,
(04:41):
April took Oscar to jiu jitsu, which is usually my job.
I just like gave the house a bit of a
round and made myself feel a bit better.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Do you ever feel like sometimes you always like ham
up the sickness, and you're like I can't. Oh yeah,
I can't.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Oh yeah, I'm like I can't get out of bed.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I wish I could. Yeah, I'd love to go to
so I really would love to be there.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
In traffic sometimes I will just like whispering to the kids,
like you just want to stay here, and yeah, yeah, OK,
so I don't have to leave. I'm just like, I'm
too sick to do anything about till to day.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I do nothing if it makes you feel any better.
Right now, we're fucking dealing with a knit infestation. They
just won't go away.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You've had nits in your house a lot over the
last few less that you go into school now, But
I remember a KINDI had a few bags.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
It's never ending. Yeah, we can't get on top of
the it.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
It's because you all have long hair. Me and Oscar
over here just like short hair. Nothing catching us. I'm
just like dodging nits.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Are you getting nits? Are you getting it?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
We've had nits at our school, but thankfully we haven't
got them yet.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, and I think the parents that are blame here.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Hair out is bad.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I think everyone just needs to, like right now all together. First,
Tuesday of the month, or do a treatment to a
pre knit treatment.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
YEA, let's get rid of than it because you can
just spray move in now. And that's as a precautionary
I don't know how much.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
It works using and why isn't working where Let's let's
figure out where you got It's.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Because the kids have got it at school every fucking
other week. They're like, get a message in the group
chat being like just letting everyone know that the knits
are back, and I'm like, fuck, I'm sending them in
like sacrificial lands into school being like all the best,
Like I know it's they're gonna get it. They're gonna
It's like sending your children in the trenches, over the
(06:24):
front line.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Into GLI, into the firing line.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
The firing line, just straight bullets going everywhere, and I'm
like trying not to get hit, and they're like it's glib.
There's mortar shells going off, and I'm like, they're going
to get hit.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I've got a solution for you. Just remove yourself from
the group chat. That's what I do. I just going blind.
I don't know what's going on in school, kids coming
back heads.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
School emails school emails.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Shut up straight to junk.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Just shut up, okay, yeah, just it's it's it's the
it's the it's.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Rampant.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Have you got them in your head?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
How dare you you did last year?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
My biggest fear.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, I could just shave my head. I've got a
head for shaving.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I don't like my hair because they want clean hair.
I think mine's only wash it.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
It's like Mosquito every six weeks.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
When I get a haircut.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Once every six weeks, I can I just say, Vick,
don't sha.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I haven't washed my hair in ten years.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You don't have any hair, bro.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
I just shave it up, start again. I'm all about that.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You never get dandruff.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I don't know. Someone else is probably like this guy's
coming in.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You're quite clean, thank you? Yeah? How when you showering?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Ah? Once a month? Oh? You know? Me and Dan
we show once a month on the sot of the earth.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
He showers once a day, That's what he's telling you,
because he needs to wash off all.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
The To be honest, I shower like.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Four times a day because you masturbate so fucking I
told you how to comment.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
In the shower. That was one time pre kids.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Hey, Aprin comes, he's just on his back, legs over
his head, fucking jerking off.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
It was like, at least stop, I can't tell me what. Okay, nits,
we get it. They're annoying.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
They're annoying every time someone talks about and it, so
everyone gets itchy a little bit.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
We got Marley a Kindle. What a great present. Right?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
She a good reader? She get it getting good. She's
very good right outreadcars outreading that.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
She's chatting through the books and she's just for I
reckon probably about good eight months she was like, I
just want to Kindle. We were like, great birthday. Let's
give her what she's always wanted, give her the Kindle.
And I'm like, books are expensive, well said thank you
on the Kindle.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Except Ash's book except ten bucks at Big w don't
go nor else for it. Trust me, that'll be expensive.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
They're bloody expensive. And they had the option you can
pay for unlimited. And I was like, don't try to
swindle me Kindle.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
So it's expensive to buy the book. To go on
the Kindle.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Buy the books. Yeah, I was a little bit cheaper.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
How do I get it in there?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I don't know you download it.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
It was the joke, just so you know.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I said to my I signed up with my account
and I was like, look, And I also didn't know
what her reading was, Like, I'm not sure how much
she's going to use this product. So I was thinking,
I'm not going to go all in get their like
bells and whistles of script gray first. And I was like,
you tell me what book you want, and I'm going
to buy it. And she has a little read she
(09:20):
goes to bed at seven o'clock. She likes to read
for a little bit in bed.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
That's gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
But I was like, is that a subtle brag?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I didn't mean to, Hey, well go that's before she
does her charity work at the orphanage.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Yeah, very good. Explain how thought she reads it and
she then put herself to sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Correct. Sometimes I'll say, come on, like you gotta, you know,
turn the fucking lights.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I've got it back. Our kids over here are just
like not reading like that, Like this is.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
She's quite clever.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
The problem is with having a clever kid is that
they're fucking clever. Yes, all right, and they figure it
out and you're like, well, it's.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Like when I was reading to her and she was
corrected the words I was getting wrong, so I couldn't
read that so much anxiety. I was like, and Timmy was,
She's like walking to the beach, get it out.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Sometimes I correct Oscar when he was already correct, just
to cut him down a few pegs. This is just
so he knows box.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
No. So I was like, hey, just with the Kindle,
I was like, if you I know it's connected to
my phone. If you buy any books without my permission,
I know, I get a message, don't do it. Okay, okay, Dad,
I went to sleep. She's brought a lot of books.
She's gone on a shopping spree.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Does it have a limitation of what because there are
some smutty books out there?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
No, I mean I should and it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Could be mistaken because a lot of the fantasy.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I should have I should have put like a kid
should have kids lock on it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
But she's got the tantalizing dragon.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
No, she has. There's like a diary book.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's a deep yearning.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
It's like a store where it's written from the perspective
of a girl written writing a diary. Okay, So I
woke up. I look at the notifications, and I'm like,
you are so smart, but also spending so much of
my money. I was like, we're going to get kicked
out of this house because you spent too much money
on books. We're a little bit too hard on the
field novels.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Can you get kids books on them? But this is
coming from a place of complete ignorance.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Well, look, you buy a book for twelve bucks, it's
eighteen bucks sometimes for the big ones.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
How much did she spend though, not that much, like enough,
one's enough.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I just it was it was the fact that I said,
these are the rules of the kindle. There wasn't that much.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
But it's the principle.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
It's the principle, Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, I didn't know that. I just specifically thought they
were for adults and they can only buy like like novels.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And it's actually it's quiet. It's a technology technology. I mean,
I know the kindo has been around for a while
and I'm like, wow.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I always just think it's a fad.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
That's the only thing I read with.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Are you a kindlegar?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
I'm actually an eyebook gal. Sorry, yeah, it's on my phone.
I figured out the only way I can read books,
and I love reading is if it's on my phone,
So I use the eyebook app and I buy all
my books through that.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Don't you like, isn't it bad for the That's toxic?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Now you turn the brightness all the way down and
then it turns black at night, which is the only time.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I read it. And what about all the other colors?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I can get through so many books each year, whereas.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Before I obviously we're not giving it enough work.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
I was reading till midnute.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
You should get some more sleep.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
But before that, I literally only read one book after
having Louis, before I had Lily, and I was like,
this is I can't do this. I need to read.
It's like the way I relax. And then once with Lily,
I started putting it on my phone and I just like,
because we breastfed, lying down, I'd put it like behind
her head to read while I was rest reading. What
are you reading at the moment? It's called A Big
(12:51):
Beautiful Life?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I bet it is. It shows you a big beautiful life.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's a bit of are you going in there?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
It's a rom comments by Emily Henry and a lot
of movies smart.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
No, it's not smart women love smutty books. It was
just like bought the off campus book, like the book
that it's like based off, and I'm like, you are.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's not like there's a bit of sexy, like there's
a tension to build up. It's like flirtatious.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Okay, over there there's this guy Chad anyway, So okay.
I can only listen to audiobooks in the car, and
that's it the only thing I can do.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
I've tried audiobooks. I don't like them. I like to
read the pages.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I can't read.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I can't retain the information.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I know I read it, and I'm like, what did
that say?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
That being said? Jen Muir's audiobook is spot on.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
If I want to listen to Jen, I'll just give
a speed dial, she calls me.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Actually actually a little parenting hack. I used to listen
to her audiobook on the way to pick up Louis,
so then you'd get little tip bits right before pick up.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, it's like when I used to watch skateboard videos
and then go for a skate.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You're actually pretty good at skating.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
What do you mean, Like, like, do you when you
go for a serve? You ever watched like a certain video.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
They watched me.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I love to see you guys skating.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Matt's actually pretty good with that snowboard. Yeah, look, we've
probably hurt ourselves. We went to the skate bowle at
bond I to watch that kid drop in and I
was like, oh, no.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Too much, too much. I'm not sure if any of
you have done this before, but if you have, you
understand what I've gone through. If you haven't, made sure
you never make this mistake. I am the washing guy
at home self a point in Nana, Sorry, Nana like
sus skate. No, no, no, actually, you're right, You're right. Nana
does a hell of a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
She doesn't listened.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
She does. I think she does listen to me secretly,
she listens to love. But I was putting clothes into
the washing machine and I may have gotten Poppy changed
and like taken off her pants And it wasn't a
like a ship build nappy, just a wet nappy, but
it was in the clothes. I put that in the
(15:05):
washing machine.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Did the absorbers come out?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
And I like, open the washing machine. I was like,
what the fuck has gone on in here? Like expand
all the moisture?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
How did they signs is crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
And just it's like trying to god, did you have
to rewash? You have to like rinse every item of clothing.
You have to rinse then to get like to get
the bulls off.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It's like when someone leads a tissue in their pocket. Worse.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, it's way worse. Down to this recently and he
was shocked in a pull. No, we actually had one
of those nappy sheet things that you stick to the
and he put that in the was like a puppy pad. Yeah,
I guess for kids and Louis with the bed. He
put the whole sheets and everything in the wash and
then he was like, what the fuck is this same thing? Nappies?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I do recall, like I think it was a
wet nappy that just exploded. The last was like, what's
all this in there? And they're like, and I can't
imagine that all through my fucking cloth? Throw them all out?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh yeah, I the house down. That's the only insurance claim.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
No, I've never done it, but to be fair, like
now we're not in nappies anymore, so we might have
done it at one point. I just don't remember.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Must be nice.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Well, I didn't I'm not the one that just started
to impregnate my wife. I physically can't.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Is Macie out of nighttime nappies?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
A couple of nights she weed the bed again like
the dream? What's happening? And I don't know? And then
she just stopped again, So I don't know. It's a mystery.
It's very arrogant or hitting my like milestones is the
parenting podcast, like I just watch you if I was okay, ash,
(16:39):
are you a good? Watch your tone?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Thank you for pulling me up, and I'll be more
conscious of that.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yes, I am a good I'm on the best according
to me.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I would say, you're both good dads.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Thank you? So are you?
Speaker 1 (16:49):
That's last, mum, parent, thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I don't like to define the roles. If you are
a parent and you're like, am I good at this?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Am I am? I doing a good job?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think if you're showing up, you're doing a good job.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Well, like, do it a bit more than just let's
not put about too low.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
We can get over.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
If you're in the room, you're winning.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
If you exist, Child's like, I'm so hungry, I'm here,
I'm doing I'm showing up.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Based on my aura.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So apparently there are seven weird signs like this. So
apparently there are seven weird signs that your kid secretly
think that you're a great parent.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Okay, weird, go okay, I'll define weird.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
They negotiate many things that you say.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Oh everything. They've definitely just brought a list of things
kids too, Just like the first one. I'm like, you
get in the shower, it's like, but just let me
how about this, I'll do this and then yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Apparently it's because kids don't negotiate with people they fear.
They negotiate with people they trust enough to believe their voice.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
They should negotiate with people they fear, because if they're
to be in a bank and someone holds it up, okay,
and they're like, look you can go free if you
do this, you hear them out.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
That's what I say, LUI negotiates everything.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
That's because you're a good parent.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I know. This actually made me feel better.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Okay, cool, that's this is what these article is. Yeah,
that's good. Do your kids do that?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So tick tick Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I'll just preface this list and say I don't know
what's been put together by anyone who's like a penny
expert or a psychologist.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Is it on social media? Yes, it's definitely been well
critiqued and well researched.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
So number two, they climb on you constantly, tick, yes, okay,
sitting on your lap, leaning on your shoulders, asking for
a piggyback. Physical closeness is often a chid's way of
saying I feel safe with you. They bring you random treasures.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, I might stop doing that. Oh, actually it's more
like random art, but it's crap.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah. Also, it's like down the beach, like here's a
shell and you're like, don't get me a better shait?
Well a rocker, leave half a cracker. It may seem silly,
but they're giving you something that they think is valuable,
or they're.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Done with it.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
It's valuable to them, or they're just done with it.
Luis likes fighting shiny things.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He's like, yeah, Number four, they don't mind crying in
front of you.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
What don't they? They always cry in front of me.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
It's because they apparently feel safe.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
They cry in front of everyone. Yeah, they're at the shops.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Don't question the list the shops.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
They'll cry you don't question the list five.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
They interrupt what you're doing constantly.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
This is a rage baiting list for sure, because it's
just it's just what to Okay, you could read this
list out to someone who's like, what to expect when
you're expecting?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Okay. Well, apparently it's because they feel that you're an
important person to share information with. Okay, we'll almost that.
Number six. They asked you the same question over and
over again.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I'm just getting triggered by this list.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Doesn't it make you feel better? It makes me feel better.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Oh, I feel like they put this list.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I see through it.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I feel like they put this list together to make people.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It's so skeptical all about these social.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Media Apparently it's they want reassurance from you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
They want something from you, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Okay. Number seven, the last iole on the list. They
repeat the tiniest things you've said.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
This is I feel like everyone's a good parent because
O kids do this.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
In my experience, when kids repeat your words, it's often
because your voice lives within them.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yeah, except when they repeat the bad things.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
In mind, I prefer the bad things. And Oscar like
he's just like so cheeky, can't help himself I'll be like,
go to your room. Is that because he loves me
so much?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Apparently.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Okay, so next time, okay, next time I go put
this in your room. In your room, I'll be like,
I love you too.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
See what he says, and he'll be like, shut up.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He'd be like, and we'll go back and forth.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Well, you're a good dad, thank you. You're a good dad,
and you're a good mom and dad. I feel like,
and Dan's a good dad.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
They've just described how every child behaves. I know.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
They don't eat their dinner means you're a good parent.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, like it's starving. I'm the best parent.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
They hate getting in the bath and hate getting out
of it because they want to be with you so much.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I know. It's funny that they fight everything that I
asked them to do. They must really love me and
I must be such a good parent.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
But parents just need a little pat on the back.
I read that and I was like, thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, you wrote like this will make a heap of
people have it. Yes, literally, I'm like, what are the
comments like on that?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Oh yeah, parents like.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
A thousand chares and this is me and they're going
this is bullshitd like not like the move. I thought
I was really looking for groundbreaking things.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
You know, you know it's groundbreaking breaking news.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Oh yeah, big, what do you got for us?
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Well, there's a baby name trend millennials can't seem to shake,
and it's being reflected in the babies born this year.
Baby Center has found the names of some of the
TV's most popular characters are being given to this year's
batch of babies. Since Friends was uploaded to YouTube last year,
the name Monica has is in one hundred and twenty
(22:01):
two points, while the High School musical twentieth anniversary has
seen the names Gabriella and Troy move higher in the rankings.
Troy I know and if you still have doubts Ash
Gray's Anatomy fans have been paying tribute to the show's
twentieth birthday this year, with Derek and Miranda both jumping
higher on the baby name ranking.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Eric Duke, I don't know if it's an Eastern Suburbs
thing here in Sydney, but it's always like Axel and
Ye Phoenix. Ah, it's Teddy's a big one at the moment.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, it's not the Mets too yeah, it's pretty bad,
like ours of Real Coastal. Like I know Mike's kids
named Lenox, but then it's like here's Reef, here's Barrel,
he's green Room, like for go On says, and it's
like my dad's name is Wayne. It's like, keep baby Wayne.
It's like all these names come and go. It's like,
do you know that whatever you name this baby it
(22:54):
will be an adult. So it's like, oh, let's name him.
I don't know Teddy. It's like, oh, little Baby's yeah,
but it's not Theodore. It's they're like, let's go with Teddy.
If it's Theodore at least older, it could be like, yeah,
ted that's cool. But like you know what I mean,
they're trying to name kids that they're like so cute
as a baby. But it's like, imagine if it's like
called up for jury duty and it's like, I don't know,
(23:16):
fucking Axel, it's like he's Axel or fucking fairy or whatever,
strike or you know what I mean. People are naming
babies are not adults. That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Have either of you named either of your kids from
like a TV character or someone famous.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Oscar is named after Oscar Langburn, who was a he
is a surfer.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Actually met him, such a typical normal beast, and I
told you I'll name my child after the famous surfer Oscar.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Well, we had a few options, but Oscar. I was
very adamant that it can't be something like river like
fu sake, Like if you've got a river out there,
what you know? What are you name their siblings?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
What about Macie?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
After was meant to be Lucy spell wrong? No she was.
It was between Macy and Lucy. I don't know. We
just felt like Lucy or Matte. And then when we
had Macy, it was like, well your mate Mayo Mackey?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
What about you Matt? Were any of those names from
like famous people?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
As I don't get I don't get influenced by other people.
To get out of here, I'll come up with names myself,
like Matt that's from the Bible.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, I know, your your brother's it's Matthew, Mark, Luke
and John.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Isn't it close? It's so close to that, it's Adam, Tom, David, Matt.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
See, it's essentially it's it's it's it's a modern day Bible.
I reckon it's just like, she's let's pick one of
these ones because you're also Matthew David.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Do you attack my mother like that?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
So you've got a brother David in the middle, a single.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Mother of five children. She doesn't need someone questioning the
names that she gave.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
But that was after you named them. You're already named.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
When I was doing her best.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Well, I was going to say Louis was named after
Dan's great grandfather. However, I was a huge One Direction
fan and I knew Louis Thomlinson and he was hot.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Okay, that's creepy vick.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Okay, I'm going to take that about that.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Are you so hot? Let's call that kid that because.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
All of One Direction they're all very attractive boys. Oh
that's sad. That was very sad, sad, thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
But when I lived, I was talking about facts over here,
but I think, yeah, I love One Direction.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Dead all right, Louis still alive.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I love those memes where it's like, oh, why is
why is my sister's name Rose And it's like and
he goes, oh, that's because it's your mother's favorite thing.
Thank you for asking Watermelon vape, you know what I mean?
I think that people should be naming adults and not children. Okay, quickly,
just want to ask you this question. Do you know
(25:57):
or anyone you know or your children are they scared
of any particular foods?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I've heard people. I don't want to shame people, shame away, shame,
but people are like scared of bananas.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Bro Okay, I've got two two, I've got two examples
before I get to my child really quickly. One one
of my dad's friends was deathly afraid of tomatoes, not
even wouldn't even have tomato sauce for what reason I
don't know. And my room, my first ever sunny hurts tomatoes,
Like did you mention sauce? It was like a cat purry. Anyway,
(26:37):
there's that. And then my first ever roommate, Casey an
old name, and Jamie. He's afraid of bananas. I don't know,
maybe they're too phallic.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
No, someone I used to work with he wouldn't let
us have bananas in the control room because he hated
them so much. And we can't leave our desks in
the control because it's live TV. So it's like, how
am I going to eat breakfast?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
That's so it's weird.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
What happens to smell?
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Okay, so Oscar Oscar once he had and you would
agree with me. Subway cookies, delicious, delightful. That got a going.
It's she's like pick up cookies on the way home.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
They pump out the smell.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
So Oscar had one and he must have got sick
right after. I'm not going to say the cookie was
the determining factor, but he's gotten physically sick after having that.
And it was obviously something that it's quite a pungent
smell and taste, and when it's coming back up, I
would assume it's the same, but if not worse mate.
The other day, I went to buy a cookie and
(27:45):
he was next to me and he was like, and
then he just started crying. I'm eating this cookie, the
exact cookie that we just had before from Cole's that
looks like the subway cookies. He is like crying and
I'm like this and to the point where he won't
even like he is like a meltdown over a cookie.
That's why I was is it just mine? Is it
(28:05):
like a weird thing Mike Kid does? No?
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I had that one time. I vividly remember what are those?
Is it not true not to eat. So it's a
fucking chiros. A ciros. They're so good, No, you don't
like I went and had one when I was about twelve,
and I just so happened to get the worst food poisoning.
Wasn't the curros because they're harmless, but I just that
(28:29):
was the last thing I ate, and I was for
three days, just both ends. And as a kid, I
remember being so sick I couldn't go to my bed.
I was just asleep on the couch and I was
hallucinating because I was so ill. It was that bad.
And I've never had a chiros since.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
So the churros actually was the victim in all this,
the innocent victim. What was it that made you seek?
You told? I remember once I drank too much red
cordial and then everything after that. I was like, I
can't believe that, because now Oscar thinks that cookies mak him.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Sick something so delicious, which is actually not a bad
thing because it means your cookies are safe.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Well said, Do you have a word for when you're
when it's coming out?
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Birth ends a good time?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
A good time? I call it an Eiffel.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Towel with your kids, I give your vomiting and theses.
Well I can't claim this. My friend coined this term,
but we've all adopted it because it's such a good phrase.
The woosies, when you're vomiting and shitting at the same time, theosies.
I've got the wo wosies.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Never heard that.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Give it to your kids.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I'm not going to give my kid.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
No, don't give it to them because it's like the
sound of what.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Because you're like, whoa, which ends up coming up.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I've only ever had the wo wosies once was in
Malaysia and I was squirting and vomiting at the same
time I was on the toilet. Was fucking disgusting. So, yeah,
you're right, I was whoa the whoa woes.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
It's such a beautiful little name.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Anyway. Yeah, so we're afraid of cookies in my house,
which is kind of good because then I can eat
all the cookies. But like, I'm just trying to snap
him out of it. I'm just giving him cookie treatment
where I'm just like eat it. You know. It's like
smoke all these cigarettes in front of me. Boy, stop
him smoking.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
You have to pay for a psychologist.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
He'll grow out.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Of it trauma.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
One day he'll have a good cookie and go, wait
a minute.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
This wasn't cookies, yeah, the whole cookie family.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
He goes, you know that, I'm sick. It's like one
time he got a slight little rash from some pineapple
like city and he's like, I'm allergic to pineapple. I'm like,
you're not allergic to pe Well I am. I'm like,
who told you that?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Mum?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Of course you did. Anyway, moving on, have some sense
into that. Boy, I will want to get home.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I don't know if I'm going crazy here. Guys. I
think I might be losing my mind a little bit.
So I've held off simming lessons for a very long
time because I was like, I don't want to overload the
kids already doing gymnastics, that's enough.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Why not doing swim lessons anymore?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Well that they kind of they can swim, they can't
do a freestyle. They can float, you'll float. But I'm like,
I want them to be champion swimmers. Yeah, I want
them to be able to swim the Tasman. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Yeah, we'll just survive if they fall in the water.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
About that.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Don't worry about that. We want athletes no, I want
them to win carnivals. Laura was a very good swimmer,
so I'm like, I know it's in them.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
She's got them flippers, she's got.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Some actually she goes quite small feet.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
No, she doesn't big you're the same time as yours. No, mate,
I've seen this. Well, I go to your house like,
I'm like Jesus.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
The significant heels and I'm like, put her shoes down now,
and he's like, well.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
She put a picture up of her feet in sandals.
I'm like, Cromtha sandals.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
She didn't respond anyway. Swimming lessons, I'm curious.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
So swimming lessons. I was like, do you know what
I'm going to book it in. I'm going to do it.
And I was like, Laura, don't worry. I'll take that
word right off you and I put it on my shoulder.
She wasn't even thinking about it. That's the kind of
guy that I am. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
I call up the swimming school and I'm like, hey,
I want to book in my kids and they go
go online. It's all online, online portal and I was like, fuck,
hate an online portal. No time for that.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
What do you mean I hate aline?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
No, I don't want to talk to him.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
So she's like, online portal, get that for a frog
and the big guy. So I've got the online portal
and this is like eleven o'clock at night, one of
the last jobs that I have to before I can
clock off, close up shop.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
And go back to bed.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
And I'm such a great dad. We're just like it
never ends, you know, clean, I clean the kitchen. I
didn't know it was Nana, but so I now feeling
out the fucking profile for that Mary feeling out the profile.
Finally get to like available days. Do you know what
great result, guys, Thursday three thirty is available?
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Cool?
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Two spots left. I'm like, thank Thank the Lord. I'm
a good guy and sometimes it's nice and good things
happen to good people.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Does a big guys looking out for you?
Speaker 1 (33:02):
And so I'm there, fill the details. I book it in.
When's it start next Thursday? Happy Days? So I get
a confirmation email. It just says like, hey, we're good
pretty much. Hey, this is the thumbs up a photo
of So I go there on the Thursday and I'm like, hello,
even my three thirty. They're like what you what's your name?
And I said, oh my name's Mate moling Lola. Let's
(33:25):
starts swimming and they're like, so what here? So this
is a gym and they're like, no record and I
was like, have.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
You checked the portal?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I was like no, no, no, and they go checking
the system. Nah, nothing here and I'm like, but I
showed the confirmation. They're like, oh, there's a two phase
sign up, like you hadn't yet booked it and I
was like, what more did you want from me?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
It's done the profile, the thumbs up and.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
They're like, no, you gotta get back to the portal.
And I'm like, can I do it now? Like they're
back on the portal and I was like can I
just they're here, the water's there, and they're like, well,
actually Thursday is now full. Oh.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
I was like, thank god, swimming anyway, it's all right.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
It's just a swimming lesson.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Like it's it's not just a swimming lesson.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And I was like I was trying to. I was like,
I just need you to admit that you were wrong,
because I definitely need this. I just I have a memory,
I did all the forms, I did the payment, I
gave my credit card. We have no recollection there's nothing on.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
The system, but you got the email.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I got the email, give you a bank statement, but
then no money came out.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
You can dream this.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
And I was like, your system, your online portal is ship.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
You're embarrassing me in front of my kids.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
It's ship.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
You're embarrassing my kids in front of me.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
And I was like, you need a sorta your portal
because it's not working for anyone.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And like, so do you think that maybe you were tired?
You were a bit tired.
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Okay, you're like I did at eleven thirty nine my
brain obviously, and I got I got out of there.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
This is why Dan says we can't do anything like
this at night, because we make mistakes, and we do
and you do.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I didn't make a mistake. Clearly turn them up anyway.
I like to Laura, I'm like, we're not going back
to that fucking swimming school next morning. We're going back
getting the kids ready for school. Marley wear his shoes.
Oh no, she left him there. She took her shoes off.
I didn't realize.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So we realized you walked her out with no shoes on.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
I just got it back in the round.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
You were like, I'm so embarrassed and she puts.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
A nibot on now So like I was like, back
in the people see me, I had had to buy
new shoes.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
You didn't go back, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
I'm not going back there, like come back, and they're like,
so we cannot change the portal for the last time.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I can just imagine them going, what about this guy
that came in the other day.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
And I like walked back in. Hi, So I had
to sacrifice the shoes.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
So what?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
And I'm trying to find a new swim school and
it's everything everything bloody. It's bloody hard to get a
swim school.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Who'd have thought the portal dirty? The portal to the pool.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I've been done by the portal.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You have been done by the pool.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
It's I mean having a two stepper, It's like, that's
that's unnecessary.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
I also hate a portal. I know you love it, Ash.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I don't. I wouldn't say love.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
But school's the same.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
And you're always jacking off of the you over there.
April's like, what's on your.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Long the times I've jacked off the portals?
Speaker 3 (36:46):
It doesn't always have to come back to master because
that's who we are.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
Because we're two men and we're in a room and
there's nothing else to talk about but jerking on.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Next podcast will be about jacking off to jerking off.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Dass, what if I just started talking about winking all
the time.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah, yeah, I called you do it?
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Do it now you're fired, quick delete that fair work.
I'm not gonna like that.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
One will probably be doing swimming lessons at this particular pool.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Not this one. But that's also what's like next to
my list is back to swimming lessons. Being in the water.
That sucks.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I know it's the best.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
We meant what we said, Vic, I don't want it, okay,
I don't want to be anywhere near a public pool,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Because it's also I just don't think.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
It's not about the swimming lessons. It's about the bonding
I spoke.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
They do actually do it, but it's quite cold. They
do it in the.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Shallow and I've got it, like you crouch down like this.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
And then you're in a random like you're in with
a random group of other parents and you've gotta be.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Like code brown brown.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
And we're all like singing songs and no one's really
enjoying themselves.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It's just a lot of speech.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Fucking it, I know she does. I even spooked it
for the swimming center that my kids do swimming lessons
because I thought it was such an amazing opportunity as
a mum of two. It was the only thirty minutes
of my week that I had alone time with Lily,
and I'm sure it'll be the same for you. It
(38:20):
would be the only thirty minutes of your week where
it's just you and Poppy one on one. And it
wasn't about me all day with her that I'm not.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
That into it, Honestly. I went to a couple of
times it was me and Macey. I get it. I
get what you're trying to say, the bonding. Yeah, but
then eventually it was like she hated it and I
hated it as soon as I got out of the water.
Macie loved it. So maybe I'm the problem.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Lily in the water is like joy personified, Like it
is like the happiest she is ever, and so as
soon as you get in the pool with her, you're
just like you can't help.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Actually, Vic, I want to apologize. I have unnecessarily attacked you,
and I just did it to impress Ash.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I'm used to it.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
It's the first time the last.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
But I think you're right, right.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
You are right, you are.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Right, and and I have just remembered something that I
do now well.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Constructed sentence, go carry on.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Thank you for asking. So I was waiting for so
popping out coming on ten months and it had been
such a long time since having a young child.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Would you call her a toddler?
Speaker 1 (39:28):
No, actually I called her. I called her a toddler.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Everyone was like, shut the fuck up, don't age it.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Know.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
I was like, what do you call the baby? Still?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
She's a baby.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
She's a baby still. And so I have Poppy on Fridays.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
And it's such a good dad.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Got it.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I would love Dan to have a date with kids,
just one day. It's I think what you're doing is
really good.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
It's such a good day.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Thank you, thank you. I was surprised at how much
you struggle as a parent. Well I do anyway, trying
to play engage with your children when they're baby aged
like six months, seven months, I'm like, what, how are
people playing.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
With their kids?
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Yeah? I was like I had a football and I
was like, I was like frisbee. I was like, what
are you how do we because she has awake windows right,
she has you know, like she's up for three hours.
So I was like, okay, three hours. You know you're
going to have some food, right, and then a bit
of tummy time. She's got a couple of toys. And
(40:36):
then after that, I was like, okay, we've got two
and a half hours to go. I was like, what
are we gonna what are we going to do here?
How are we going to play?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Two and a half hour a long time?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
And I was like and I'm here, like, you know,
this is my time to like really build the relationship
with my daughter. So I'm like, I want to be
doing something that.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
She's loving doing so easy.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
And it's really hard.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
After ten minutes, I'm like I don't.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yeah, I think it's well, our attention spans are so
bad now that we're just like the phone is calling.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
I know how if you're if you have a child
that is under twelve months, what are you playing with them?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
TV?
Speaker 3 (41:16):
Pekaboo?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
She she loves a bit of pekaboo.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Every kid loves peka. But that's my trick as a photographer,
literally like a hide behind the camera. You could go
for as long as you want.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
I hide behind the couch.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Pickaboo sometimes something that we're like we kind of She'll
be crawling and I'll hide and I'll come and get her.
And even that's it's it's exhausting. It's exhausting. Man.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I don't have that. Some people are really really good
at it, and props to those people. I know me.
I am not good at that. I don't honestly. I'm
like two minutes and I'm like, is this We're good?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
But then the hard thing is when you've got that,
I've got that one day where I really have that
one on one time. So you're like, there's a lot
of pressure to really have these beautiful moments from like
my last timmer, going to have a baby, so I
really want to make sure that I'm making the most
out of all these moments. And Poppy's like, are you
into this?
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Poppy? Are you? Are you?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Are you liking this? A M I doing a good job. Again,
give me one, She's like, God, give me something else.
You're someone original, gets something you get?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
What about something different?
Speaker 1 (42:19):
What else you got?
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Doing this for an hour swimming lesson baby sensory class?
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Do you know what my favorite time with Poppy is
right now.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
When she's asleep. Is good when they can't control the limbs.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
You get me, Do you get in the bathroom?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah yeah, I'll put the speedoes on and jump in
with her. I reckoncause I reckon. It's weird being maked.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
I'd go budgies too. I think.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Dan doesn't bath, so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
He's not a bath at all. I'm not a big
bath guy. But I can't get it because it's great.
It's just great to have something that she just loves.
She loves the water, she loves the toys and like
so it's the easiest environment I think to play with
the baby.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
How many bathes pop Me had today, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
We just leave in the bath right now. Yeah. She
wakes up a nine o'clock and I'm like, well, six
hours in the bathrooms?
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Do I feel like? You just put them on one
of those swingy things And.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
He's like, I've you got those jumping jolly.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
I don't have that so they can move around people?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was I remember Oscar was obsessed
with his because he was all of a sudden he
was mobile. And if she's really wriggly. Oh she's quick now,
because Macy was always like.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I don't want to move, get a jumping jolly thing.
It's entertainment for you and for them.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
I heard that they're like really dangerous everything. Am I
making that up? It's like the drop down cot. I
was like, hey, we're the drop down cots and everyone's like.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Oh they technically everything's don't They like, they.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Don't do it anymore because it's too dangerous. They apparently
like you should get her.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
A pit bull.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
You just need a door frame so you can hook
it over.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Yeah, or you get one of the ones with the
wheels and they move around and there's no there's no
danger there unless they're like a bumper car. Unless they
get out on the.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Road, go around, go around me in.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Spinning the thing and yeah, hey, actually need to get
out of here. But a little message to all the
parents out there.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Yes, stay safe out there, guys. School Holidays is upon
us and it's dangerous. There's kids everywhere. They meant to
be in school, but they're not.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
This is the hardest moment I think of being a
parent right now. Today is going to come around, so
I know, before we know it'll be Christmas.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Want to punch myself in the throat for saying.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
That I hate Christmas and I hate Christmas Holidays because
it's so long.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Christmas in July.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Finance, Bros. Christmas, but you're.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Hanging their parents. You doing a great job. Not long ago.
The kids will be back at school. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
If you've enjoyed this episode, please there's a review subscribe
five stars. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Next episode will the housekeeping on Monday, and if you
miss us before then, you can find us on social
media at Two Doting Dads on TikTok on Instagram. There's
a Facebook group and YouTube both shorts and long Yeah
good Bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
(45:29):
of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea
and community.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island,
the people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land
I'd love to know where those sandbags are that I've ordered.
They're like, that's a real mystery. I forgot about that.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I forgot about dumb, forgot. If you don't know what
we're talking about, what are.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
My thun bugs.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
The beach? Dumb?
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Excuse me? Falcing back to two dating dads. I am
(00:41):
Maddie Jay and this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Sorry that was a big yawn when you were midway
through that, and the relatable how's that? Sorry? Are you?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Can I just say once again, I'm ruining, ruining the illusion.
Here we are on hold days. I hope you're having
a good holiday if you're listening. Ash is not. But
we had to record these a couple of back to
back records before I went away, before Vic went away
and left me here all my own, and we left you.
And so Ash has not been well and he's pushed
(01:16):
through in tough circumstances and I appreciate it. I'm sure
the listeners appreciate it. And right now, I'm sure the
last thing you want to be doing is sitting here
talking to me. You'd rather be at home masturbating and
the fact that you're here.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You're right, I would much. No, I'm mu sure to
be here masturbating by the way, my pants were off. No,
I'm having to be here, be honest.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Have you masturbated in the new studio?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
No? Have you? No?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Hell?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Dan definitely.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Just paint that wall and he.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Can do it.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Name.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
He sullied his own name. He's all over the wall.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
So thank you, thank you forbating everything, everything you do
for this podcast.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I felt patronizing. What do I do? Good question? What
do I do?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You just you're digging deep right now.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I exist. My tongue hurts go on ulcer on my
tongue from but I don't know. I just I've just
been unwell, just traditionally unwell.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
What are you taking right now? To help?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
The good stuff? VIC gave me some horse coming radish,
I hooked him up and vitamin C.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
How's it going down?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
It's good, girthy. Thank you, Thank you for asking. Tell
you what vitamins are getting big? Yeah, you've seen the
size of these things.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I don't take vitamins. I don't believe in them.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I don't really take them either, but I do and
I'm sick because I'm like oh quick. I never preemptively
take him. I just when it's too late. Gave me
the horse cam and the Buttom Sea, well, how much?
What are you drink now?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Or pre vitamins? Are like so fucking desperate, Like, please
work moving forward, I'll take you all the time, Like
every week, I promise.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I'm eating foods with like zinc and them like this
one's got vitamin C and I eat this one.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And then as soon as you get better, you're like,
work you again.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, ild you like an orange? Get that ship out
of here. Give me the Is there any vitamin C
in the big Mac? Give me the oreos? Definitely? No?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Are you you're doing great?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Really well, such a good job.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
My throat is burning.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
But let's crack onf fucking hell, let's go.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
It's crack on. Let's get it's good done.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
When I messed to another episode, I messaged you and
said happy Saturday. It was a happy Sunday, and You're like,
what's happy about it?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
We were all sick and I'm just like, fuck, do
you know? Actually I was crooked Friday and April was
worse than me, So I like, did well? I did
did the pick up? I was going to school disco
I just had to hang around for and I was
just like, this fucking sucks. It's whole fucking things. So
but April was like, I feel so bad and it's like, well, no,
(04:02):
were you sick, So I'm gonna I'm gonna lift that
she wasn't doing as much, and I was like, don't
be ridiculous, and I'm like disbuilding upresentment in the background.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Then the king half fallen the day after where I
was like and getting sick on the weekend.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It sucks, you know, because it's like you can't especially
with kids. You're like with kids, it's kind of nice
if you're like I'm seeking. You miss out on all
the things that you didn't want to go to, which
is great. But I was like, oh now I feel
bad because I'm not doing anything. And April's like, see
how that's how I felt. And it's like yesterday when
I felt a little little bit better, I was like, right,
(04:41):
April took Oscar to jiu jitsu, which is usually my job.
I just like gave the house a bit of a
round and made myself feel a bit better.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Do you ever feel like sometimes you always like ham
up the sickness, and you're like I can't. Oh yeah,
I can't.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Oh yeah, I'm like I can't get out of bed.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
I wish I could. Yeah, I'd love to go to
so I really would love to be there.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
In traffic sometimes I will just like whispering to the kids,
like you just want to stay here, and yeah, yeah, OK,
so I don't have to leave. I'm just like, I'm
too sick to do anything about till to day.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I do nothing if it makes you feel any better.
Right now, we're fucking dealing with a knit infestation. They
just won't go away.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
You've had nits in your house a lot over the
last few less that you go into school now, But
I remember a KINDI had a few bags.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
It's never ending. Yeah, we can't get on top of
the it.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
It's because you all have long hair. Me and Oscar
over here just like short hair. Nothing catching us. I'm
just like dodging nits.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Are you getting nits? Are you getting it?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
We've had nits at our school, but thankfully we haven't
got them yet.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Yeah, and I think the parents that are blame here.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Hair out is bad.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I think everyone just needs to, like right now all together. First,
Tuesday of the month, or do a treatment to a
pre knit treatment.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
YEA, let's get rid of than it because you can
just spray move in now. And that's as a precautionary
I don't know how much.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
It works using and why isn't working where Let's let's
figure out where you got It's.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Because the kids have got it at school every fucking
other week. They're like, get a message in the group
chat being like just letting everyone know that the knits
are back, and I'm like, fuck, I'm sending them in
like sacrificial lands into school being like all the best,
Like I know it's they're gonna get it. They're gonna
It's like sending your children in the trenches, over the
(06:24):
front line.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Into GLI, into the firing line.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
The firing line, just straight bullets going everywhere, and I'm
like trying not to get hit, and they're like it's glib.
There's mortar shells going off, and I'm like, they're going
to get hit.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I've got a solution for you. Just remove yourself from
the group chat. That's what I do. I just going blind.
I don't know what's going on in school, kids coming
back heads.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
School emails school emails.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Shut up straight to junk.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Just shut up, okay, yeah, just it's it's it's the
it's the it's.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Rampant.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Have you got them in your head?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
How dare you you did last year?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
My biggest fear.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, I could just shave my head. I've got a
head for shaving.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I don't like my hair because they want clean hair.
I think mine's only wash it.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
It's like Mosquito every six weeks.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
When I get a haircut.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Once every six weeks, I can I just say, Vick,
don't sha.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
I haven't washed my hair in ten years.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
You don't have any hair, bro.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
I just shave it up, start again. I'm all about that.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You never get dandruff.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
I don't know. Someone else is probably like this guy's
coming in.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
You're quite clean, thank you? Yeah? How when you showering?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Ah? Once a month? Oh? You know? Me and Dan
we show once a month on the sot of the earth.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
He showers once a day, That's what he's telling you,
because he needs to wash off all.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
The To be honest, I shower like.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Four times a day because you masturbate so fucking I
told you how to comment.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
In the shower. That was one time pre kids.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Hey, Aprin comes, he's just on his back, legs over
his head, fucking jerking off.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
It was like, at least stop, I can't tell me what. Okay, nits,
we get it. They're annoying.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
They're annoying every time someone talks about and it, so
everyone gets itchy a little bit.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
We got Marley a Kindle. What a great present. Right?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
She a good reader? She get it getting good. She's
very good right outreadcars outreading that.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
She's chatting through the books and she's just for I
reckon probably about good eight months she was like, I
just want to Kindle. We were like, great birthday. Let's
give her what she's always wanted, give her the Kindle.
And I'm like, books are expensive, well said thank you
on the Kindle.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Except Ash's book except ten bucks at Big w don't
go nor else for it. Trust me, that'll be expensive.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
They're bloody expensive. And they had the option you can
pay for unlimited. And I was like, don't try to
swindle me Kindle.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
So it's expensive to buy the book. To go on
the Kindle.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Buy the books. Yeah, I was a little bit cheaper.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
How do I get it in there?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I don't know you download it.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
It was the joke, just so you know.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I said to my I signed up with my account
and I was like, look, And I also didn't know
what her reading was, Like, I'm not sure how much
she's going to use this product. So I was thinking,
I'm not going to go all in get their like
bells and whistles of script gray first. And I was like,
you tell me what book you want, and I'm going
to buy it. And she has a little read she
(09:20):
goes to bed at seven o'clock. She likes to read
for a little bit in bed.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
That's gorgeous.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
But I was like, is that a subtle brag?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Was it?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
I didn't mean to, Hey, well go that's before she
does her charity work at the orphanage.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
Yeah, very good. Explain how thought she reads it and
she then put herself to sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Correct. Sometimes I'll say, come on, like you gotta, you know,
turn the fucking lights.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I've got it back. Our kids over here are just
like not reading like that, Like this is.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
She's quite clever.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
The problem is with having a clever kid is that
they're fucking clever. Yes, all right, and they figure it
out and you're like, well, it's.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Like when I was reading to her and she was
corrected the words I was getting wrong, so I couldn't
read that so much anxiety. I was like, and Timmy was,
She's like walking to the beach, get it out.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Sometimes I correct Oscar when he was already correct, just
to cut him down a few pegs. This is just
so he knows box.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
No. So I was like, hey, just with the Kindle,
I was like, if you I know it's connected to
my phone. If you buy any books without my permission,
I know, I get a message, don't do it. Okay, okay, Dad,
I went to sleep. She's brought a lot of books.
She's gone on a shopping spree.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Does it have a limitation of what because there are
some smutty books out there?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
No, I mean I should and it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Could be mistaken because a lot of the fantasy.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I should have I should have put like a kid
should have kids lock on it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
But she's got the tantalizing dragon.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
No, she has. There's like a diary book.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's a deep yearning.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
It's like a store where it's written from the perspective
of a girl written writing a diary. Okay, So I
woke up. I look at the notifications, and I'm like,
you are so smart, but also spending so much of
my money. I was like, we're going to get kicked
out of this house because you spent too much money
on books. We're a little bit too hard on the
field novels.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Can you get kids books on them? But this is
coming from a place of complete ignorance.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Well, look, you buy a book for twelve bucks, it's
eighteen bucks sometimes for the big ones.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
How much did she spend though, not that much, like enough,
one's enough.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I just it was it was the fact that I said,
these are the rules of the kindle. There wasn't that much.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
But it's the principle.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
It's the principle, Thank you very much.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, I didn't know that. I just specifically thought they
were for adults and they can only buy like like novels.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And it's actually it's quiet. It's a technology technology. I mean,
I know the kindo has been around for a while
and I'm like, wow.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
I always just think it's a fad.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
That's the only thing I read with.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Are you a kindlegar?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
I'm actually an eyebook gal. Sorry, yeah, it's on my phone.
I figured out the only way I can read books,
and I love reading is if it's on my phone,
So I use the eyebook app and I buy all
my books through that.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Don't you like, isn't it bad for the That's toxic?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
Now you turn the brightness all the way down and
then it turns black at night, which is the only time.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I read it. And what about all the other colors?
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I can get through so many books each year, whereas.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Before I obviously we're not giving it enough work.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
I was reading till midnute.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
You should get some more sleep.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
But before that, I literally only read one book after
having Louis, before I had Lily, and I was like,
this is I can't do this. I need to read.
It's like the way I relax. And then once with Lily,
I started putting it on my phone and I just like,
because we breastfed, lying down, I'd put it like behind
her head to read while I was rest reading. What
are you reading at the moment? It's called A Big
(12:51):
Beautiful Life?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I bet it is. It shows you a big beautiful life.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's a bit of are you going in there?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
It's a rom comments by Emily Henry and a lot
of movies smart.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
No, it's not smart women love smutty books. It was
just like bought the off campus book, like the book
that it's like based off, and I'm like, you are.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
It's not like there's a bit of sexy, like there's
a tension to build up. It's like flirtatious.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Okay, over there there's this guy Chad anyway, So okay.
I can only listen to audiobooks in the car, and
that's it the only thing I can do.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
I've tried audiobooks. I don't like them. I like to
read the pages.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I can't read.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I can't retain the information.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
I know I read it, and I'm like, what did
that say?
Speaker 3 (13:40):
That being said? Jen Muir's audiobook is spot on.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
If I want to listen to Jen, I'll just give
a speed dial, she calls me.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Actually actually a little parenting hack. I used to listen
to her audiobook on the way to pick up Louis,
so then you'd get little tip bits right before pick up.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, it's like when I used to watch skateboard videos
and then go for a skate.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
You're actually pretty good at skating.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
What do you mean, Like, like, do you when you
go for a serve? You ever watched like a certain video.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
They watched me.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I love to see you guys skating.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Matt's actually pretty good with that snowboard. Yeah, look, we've
probably hurt ourselves. We went to the skate bowle at
bond I to watch that kid drop in and I
was like, oh, no.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Too much, too much. I'm not sure if any of
you have done this before, but if you have, you
understand what I've gone through. If you haven't, made sure
you never make this mistake. I am the washing guy
at home self a point in Nana, Sorry, Nana like
sus skate. No, no, no, actually, you're right, You're right. Nana
does a hell of a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
She doesn't listened.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
She does. I think she does listen to me secretly,
she listens to love. But I was putting clothes into
the washing machine and I may have gotten Poppy changed
and like taken off her pants And it wasn't a
like a ship build nappy, just a wet nappy, but
it was in the clothes. I put that in the
(15:05):
washing machine.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Did the absorbers come out?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
And I like, open the washing machine. I was like,
what the fuck has gone on in here? Like expand
all the moisture?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
How did they signs is crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
And just it's like trying to god, did you have
to rewash? You have to like rinse every item of clothing.
You have to rinse then to get like to get
the bulls off.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It's like when someone leads a tissue in their pocket. Worse.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Yeah, it's way worse. Down to this recently and he
was shocked in a pull. No, we actually had one
of those nappy sheet things that you stick to the
and he put that in the was like a puppy pad. Yeah,
I guess for kids and Louis with the bed. He
put the whole sheets and everything in the wash and
then he was like, what the fuck is this same thing? Nappies?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I do recall, like I think it was a
wet nappy that just exploded. The last was like, what's
all this in there? And they're like, and I can't
imagine that all through my fucking cloth? Throw them all out?
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Oh yeah, I the house down. That's the only insurance claim.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
No, I've never done it, but to be fair, like
now we're not in nappies anymore, so we might have
done it at one point. I just don't remember.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Must be nice.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Well, I didn't I'm not the one that just started
to impregnate my wife. I physically can't.
Speaker 3 (16:15):
Is Macie out of nighttime nappies?
Speaker 2 (16:18):
A couple of nights she weed the bed again like
the dream? What's happening? And I don't know? And then
she just stopped again, So I don't know. It's a mystery.
It's very arrogant or hitting my like milestones is the
parenting podcast, like I just watch you if I was okay, ash,
(16:39):
are you a good? Watch your tone?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Thank you for pulling me up, and I'll be more
conscious of that.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yes, I am a good I'm on the best according
to me.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
I would say, you're both good dads.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Thank you? So are you?
Speaker 1 (16:49):
That's last, mum, parent, thank you.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I don't like to define the roles. If you are
a parent and you're like, am I good at this?
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Am I am? I doing a good job?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I think if you're showing up, you're doing a good job.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Well, like, do it a bit more than just let's
not put about too low.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
We can get over.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
If you're in the room, you're winning.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
If you exist, Child's like, I'm so hungry, I'm here,
I'm doing I'm showing up.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Based on my aura.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So apparently there are seven weird signs like this. So
apparently there are seven weird signs that your kid secretly
think that you're a great parent.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Okay, weird, go okay, I'll define weird.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
They negotiate many things that you say.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Oh everything. They've definitely just brought a list of things
kids too, Just like the first one. I'm like, you
get in the shower, it's like, but just let me
how about this, I'll do this and then yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Apparently it's because kids don't negotiate with people they fear.
They negotiate with people they trust enough to believe their voice.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
They should negotiate with people they fear, because if they're
to be in a bank and someone holds it up, okay,
and they're like, look you can go free if you
do this, you hear them out.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
That's what I say, LUI negotiates everything.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
That's because you're a good parent.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I know. This actually made me feel better.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Okay, cool, that's this is what these article is. Yeah,
that's good. Do your kids do that?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So tick tick Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I'll just preface this list and say I don't know
what's been put together by anyone who's like a penny
expert or a psychologist.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Is it on social media? Yes, it's definitely been well
critiqued and well researched.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
So number two, they climb on you constantly, tick, yes, okay,
sitting on your lap, leaning on your shoulders, asking for
a piggyback. Physical closeness is often a chid's way of
saying I feel safe with you. They bring you random treasures.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, I might stop doing that. Oh, actually it's more
like random art, but it's crap.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah. Also, it's like down the beach, like here's a
shell and you're like, don't get me a better shait?
Well a rocker, leave half a cracker. It may seem silly,
but they're giving you something that they think is valuable,
or they're.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Done with it.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
It's valuable to them, or they're just done with it.
Luis likes fighting shiny things.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
He's like, yeah, Number four, they don't mind crying in
front of you.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
What don't they? They always cry in front of me.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
It's because they apparently feel safe.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
They cry in front of everyone. Yeah, they're at the shops.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Don't question the list the shops.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
They'll cry you don't question the list five.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
They interrupt what you're doing constantly.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
This is a rage baiting list for sure, because it's
just it's just what to Okay, you could read this
list out to someone who's like, what to expect when
you're expecting?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Okay. Well, apparently it's because they feel that you're an
important person to share information with. Okay, we'll almost that.
Number six. They asked you the same question over and
over again.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I'm just getting triggered by this list.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
Doesn't it make you feel better? It makes me feel better.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Oh, I feel like they put this list.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I see through it.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I feel like they put this list together to make people.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
It's so skeptical all about these social.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Media Apparently it's they want reassurance from you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
They want something from you, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Okay. Number seven, the last iole on the list. They
repeat the tiniest things you've said.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
This is I feel like everyone's a good parent because
O kids do this.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
In my experience, when kids repeat your words, it's often
because your voice lives within them.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yeah, except when they repeat the bad things.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
In mind, I prefer the bad things. And Oscar like
he's just like so cheeky, can't help himself I'll be like,
go to your room. Is that because he loves me
so much?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Apparently.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Okay, so next time, okay, next time I go put
this in your room. In your room, I'll be like,
I love you too.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
See what he says, and he'll be like, shut up.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
He'd be like, and we'll go back and forth.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Well, you're a good dad, thank you. You're a good dad,
and you're a good mom and dad. I feel like,
and Dan's a good dad.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
They've just described how every child behaves. I know.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
They don't eat their dinner means you're a good parent.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Yeah, like it's starving. I'm the best parent.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
They hate getting in the bath and hate getting out
of it because they want to be with you so much.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I know. It's funny that they fight everything that I
asked them to do. They must really love me and
I must be such a good parent.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
But parents just need a little pat on the back.
I read that and I was like, thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, you wrote like this will make a heap of
people have it. Yes, literally, I'm like, what are the
comments like on that?
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Oh yeah, parents like.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
A thousand chares and this is me and they're going
this is bullshitd like not like the move. I thought
I was really looking for groundbreaking things.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
You know, you know it's groundbreaking breaking news.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Oh yeah, big, what do you got for us?
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Well, there's a baby name trend millennials can't seem to shake,
and it's being reflected in the babies born this year.
Baby Center has found the names of some of the
TV's most popular characters are being given to this year's
batch of babies. Since Friends was uploaded to YouTube last year,
the name Monica has is in one hundred and twenty
(22:01):
two points, while the High School musical twentieth anniversary has
seen the names Gabriella and Troy move higher in the rankings.
Troy I know and if you still have doubts Ash
Gray's Anatomy fans have been paying tribute to the show's
twentieth birthday this year, with Derek and Miranda both jumping
higher on the baby name ranking.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Eric Duke, I don't know if it's an Eastern Suburbs
thing here in Sydney, but it's always like Axel and
Ye Phoenix. Ah, it's Teddy's a big one at the moment.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, it's not the Mets too yeah, it's pretty bad,
like ours of Real Coastal. Like I know Mike's kids
named Lenox, but then it's like here's Reef, here's Barrel,
he's green Room, like for go On says, and it's
like my dad's name is Wayne. It's like, keep baby Wayne.
It's like all these names come and go. It's like,
do you know that whatever you name this baby it
(22:54):
will be an adult. So it's like, oh, let's name him.
I don't know Teddy. It's like, oh, little Baby's yeah,
but it's not Theodore. It's they're like, let's go with Teddy.
If it's Theodore at least older, it could be like, yeah,
ted that's cool. But like you know what I mean,
they're trying to name kids that they're like so cute
as a baby. But it's like, imagine if it's like
called up for jury duty and it's like, I don't know,
(23:16):
fucking Axel, it's like he's Axel or fucking fairy or whatever,
strike or you know what I mean. People are naming
babies are not adults. That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 3 (23:27):
Have either of you named either of your kids from
like a TV character or someone famous.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Oscar is named after Oscar Langburn, who was a he
is a surfer.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Actually met him, such a typical normal beast, and I
told you I'll name my child after the famous surfer Oscar.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Well, we had a few options, but Oscar. I was
very adamant that it can't be something like river like
fu sake, Like if you've got a river out there,
what you know? What are you name their siblings?
Speaker 3 (23:56):
What about Macie?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
After was meant to be Lucy spell wrong? No she was.
It was between Macy and Lucy. I don't know. We
just felt like Lucy or Matte. And then when we
had Macy, it was like, well your mate Mayo Mackey?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
What about you Matt? Were any of those names from
like famous people?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
As I don't get I don't get influenced by other people.
To get out of here, I'll come up with names myself,
like Matt that's from the Bible.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Yeah, I know, your your brother's it's Matthew, Mark, Luke
and John.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Isn't it close? It's so close to that, it's Adam, Tom, David, Matt.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
See, it's essentially it's it's it's it's a modern day Bible.
I reckon it's just like, she's let's pick one of
these ones because you're also Matthew David.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Do you attack my mother like that?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
So you've got a brother David in the middle, a single.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Mother of five children. She doesn't need someone questioning the
names that she gave.
Speaker 2 (24:52):
But that was after you named them. You're already named.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
When I was doing her best.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
Well, I was going to say Louis was named after
Dan's great grandfather. However, I was a huge One Direction
fan and I knew Louis Thomlinson and he was hot.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
Okay, that's creepy vick.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Okay, I'm going to take that about that.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Are you so hot? Let's call that kid that because.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
All of One Direction they're all very attractive boys. Oh
that's sad. That was very sad, sad, thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
But when I lived, I was talking about facts over here,
but I think, yeah, I love One Direction.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Dead all right, Louis still alive.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I love those memes where it's like, oh, why is
why is my sister's name Rose And it's like and
he goes, oh, that's because it's your mother's favorite thing.
Thank you for asking Watermelon vape, you know what I mean?
I think that people should be naming adults and not children. Okay, quickly,
just want to ask you this question. Do you know
(25:57):
or anyone you know or your children are they scared
of any particular foods?
Speaker 1 (26:02):
I've heard people. I don't want to shame people, shame away, shame,
but people are like scared of bananas.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Bro Okay, I've got two two, I've got two examples
before I get to my child really quickly. One one
of my dad's friends was deathly afraid of tomatoes, not
even wouldn't even have tomato sauce for what reason I
don't know. And my room, my first ever sunny hurts tomatoes,
Like did you mention sauce? It was like a cat purry. Anyway,
(26:37):
there's that. And then my first ever roommate, Casey an
old name, and Jamie. He's afraid of bananas. I don't know,
maybe they're too phallic.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
No, someone I used to work with he wouldn't let
us have bananas in the control room because he hated
them so much. And we can't leave our desks in
the control because it's live TV. So it's like, how
am I going to eat breakfast?
Speaker 2 (26:55):
That's so it's weird.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
What happens to smell?
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Okay, so Oscar Oscar once he had and you would
agree with me. Subway cookies, delicious, delightful. That got a going.
It's she's like pick up cookies on the way home.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
They pump out the smell.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
So Oscar had one and he must have got sick
right after. I'm not going to say the cookie was
the determining factor, but he's gotten physically sick after having that.
And it was obviously something that it's quite a pungent
smell and taste, and when it's coming back up, I
would assume it's the same, but if not worse mate.
The other day, I went to buy a cookie and
(27:45):
he was next to me and he was like, and
then he just started crying. I'm eating this cookie, the
exact cookie that we just had before from Cole's that
looks like the subway cookies. He is like crying and
I'm like this and to the point where he won't
even like he is like a meltdown over a cookie.
That's why I was is it just mine? Is it
(28:05):
like a weird thing Mike Kid does? No?
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I had that one time. I vividly remember what are those?
Is it not true not to eat. So it's a
fucking chiros. A ciros. They're so good, No, you don't
like I went and had one when I was about twelve,
and I just so happened to get the worst food poisoning.
Wasn't the curros because they're harmless, but I just that
(28:29):
was the last thing I ate, and I was for
three days, just both ends. And as a kid, I
remember being so sick I couldn't go to my bed.
I was just asleep on the couch and I was
hallucinating because I was so ill. It was that bad.
And I've never had a chiros since.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
So the churros actually was the victim in all this,
the innocent victim. What was it that made you seek?
You told? I remember once I drank too much red
cordial and then everything after that. I was like, I
can't believe that, because now Oscar thinks that cookies mak him.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Sick something so delicious, which is actually not a bad
thing because it means your cookies are safe.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Well said, Do you have a word for when you're
when it's coming out?
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Birth ends a good time?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
A good time? I call it an Eiffel.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Towel with your kids, I give your vomiting and theses.
Well I can't claim this. My friend coined this term,
but we've all adopted it because it's such a good phrase.
The woosies, when you're vomiting and shitting at the same time, theosies.
I've got the wo wosies.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Never heard that.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Give it to your kids.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I'm not going to give my kid.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
No, don't give it to them because it's like the
sound of what.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Because you're like, whoa, which ends up coming up.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I've only ever had the wo wosies once was in
Malaysia and I was squirting and vomiting at the same
time I was on the toilet. Was fucking disgusting. So, yeah,
you're right, I was whoa the whoa woes.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
It's such a beautiful little name.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Anyway. Yeah, so we're afraid of cookies in my house,
which is kind of good because then I can eat
all the cookies. But like, I'm just trying to snap
him out of it. I'm just giving him cookie treatment
where I'm just like eat it. You know. It's like
smoke all these cigarettes in front of me. Boy, stop
him smoking.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
You have to pay for a psychologist.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
He'll grow out.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Of it trauma.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
One day he'll have a good cookie and go, wait
a minute.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
This wasn't cookies, yeah, the whole cookie family.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
He goes, you know that, I'm sick. It's like one
time he got a slight little rash from some pineapple
like city and he's like, I'm allergic to pineapple. I'm like,
you're not allergic to pe Well I am. I'm like,
who told you that?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Mum?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Of course you did. Anyway, moving on, have some sense
into that. Boy, I will want to get home.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I don't know if I'm going crazy here. Guys. I
think I might be losing my mind a little bit.
So I've held off simming lessons for a very long
time because I was like, I don't want to overload the
kids already doing gymnastics, that's enough.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Why not doing swim lessons anymore?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Well that they kind of they can swim, they can't
do a freestyle. They can float, you'll float. But I'm like,
I want them to be champion swimmers. Yeah, I want
them to be able to swim the Tasman. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Yeah, we'll just survive if they fall in the water.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
About that.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Don't worry about that. We want athletes no, I want
them to win carnivals. Laura was a very good swimmer,
so I'm like, I know it's in them.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
She's got them flippers, she's got.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Some actually she goes quite small feet.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
No, she doesn't big you're the same time as yours. No, mate,
I've seen this. Well, I go to your house like,
I'm like Jesus.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
The significant heels and I'm like, put her shoes down now,
and he's like, well.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
She put a picture up of her feet in sandals.
I'm like, Cromtha sandals.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
She didn't respond anyway. Swimming lessons, I'm curious.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
So swimming lessons. I was like, do you know what
I'm going to book it in. I'm going to do it.
And I was like, Laura, don't worry. I'll take that
word right off you and I put it on my shoulder.
She wasn't even thinking about it. That's the kind of
guy that I am. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
I call up the swimming school and I'm like, hey,
I want to book in my kids and they go
go online. It's all online, online portal and I was like, fuck,
hate an online portal. No time for that.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
What do you mean I hate aline?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
No, I don't want to talk to him.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
So she's like, online portal, get that for a frog
and the big guy. So I've got the online portal
and this is like eleven o'clock at night, one of
the last jobs that I have to before I can
clock off, close up shop.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
And go back to bed.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
And I'm such a great dad. We're just like it
never ends, you know, clean, I clean the kitchen. I
didn't know it was Nana, but so I now feeling
out the fucking profile for that Mary feeling out the profile.
Finally get to like available days. Do you know what
great result, guys, Thursday three thirty is available?
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Cool?
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Two spots left. I'm like, thank Thank the Lord. I'm
a good guy and sometimes it's nice and good things
happen to good people.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Does a big guys looking out for you?
Speaker 1 (33:02):
And so I'm there, fill the details. I book it in.
When's it start next Thursday? Happy Days? So I get
a confirmation email. It just says like, hey, we're good
pretty much. Hey, this is the thumbs up a photo
of So I go there on the Thursday and I'm like, hello,
even my three thirty. They're like what you what's your name?
And I said, oh my name's Mate moling Lola. Let's
(33:25):
starts swimming and they're like, so what here? So this
is a gym and they're like, no record and I
was like, have.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
You checked the portal?
Speaker 1 (33:39):
I was like no, no, no, and they go checking
the system. Nah, nothing here and I'm like, but I
showed the confirmation. They're like, oh, there's a two phase
sign up, like you hadn't yet booked it and I
was like, what more did you want from me?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
It's done the profile, the thumbs up and.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
They're like, no, you gotta get back to the portal.
And I'm like, can I do it now? Like they're
back on the portal and I was like can I
just they're here, the water's there, and they're like, well,
actually Thursday is now full. Oh.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
I was like, thank god, swimming anyway, it's all right.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
It's just a swimming lesson.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Like it's it's not just a swimming lesson.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
And I was like I was trying to. I was like,
I just need you to admit that you were wrong,
because I definitely need this. I just I have a memory,
I did all the forms, I did the payment, I
gave my credit card. We have no recollection there's nothing on.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
The system, but you got the email.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I got the email, give you a bank statement, but
then no money came out.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
You can dream this.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
And I was like, your system, your online portal is ship.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
You're embarrassing me in front of my kids.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
It's ship.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
You're embarrassing my kids in front of me.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
And I was like, you need a sorta your portal
because it's not working for anyone.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And like, so do you think that maybe you were tired?
You were a bit tired.
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Okay, you're like I did at eleven thirty nine my
brain obviously, and I got I got out of there.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
This is why Dan says we can't do anything like
this at night, because we make mistakes, and we do
and you do.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I didn't make a mistake. Clearly turn them up anyway.
I like to Laura, I'm like, we're not going back
to that fucking swimming school next morning. We're going back
getting the kids ready for school. Marley wear his shoes.
Oh no, she left him there. She took her shoes off.
I didn't realize.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So we realized you walked her out with no shoes on.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
I just got it back in the round.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
You were like, I'm so embarrassed and she puts.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
A nibot on now So like I was like, back
in the people see me, I had had to buy
new shoes.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
You didn't go back, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1 (35:50):
I'm not going back there, like come back, and they're like,
so we cannot change the portal for the last time.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
I can just imagine them going, what about this guy
that came in the other day.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
And I like walked back in. Hi, So I had
to sacrifice the shoes.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
So what?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
And I'm trying to find a new swim school and
it's everything everything bloody. It's bloody hard to get a
swim school.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Who'd have thought the portal dirty? The portal to the pool.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
I've been done by the portal.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You have been done by the pool.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
It's I mean having a two stepper, It's like, that's
that's unnecessary.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
I also hate a portal. I know you love it, Ash.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I don't. I wouldn't say love.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
But school's the same.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
And you're always jacking off of the you over there.
April's like, what's on your.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Long the times I've jacked off the portals?
Speaker 3 (36:46):
It doesn't always have to come back to master because
that's who we are.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
Because we're two men and we're in a room and
there's nothing else to talk about but jerking on.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Next podcast will be about jacking off to jerking off.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Dass, what if I just started talking about winking all
the time.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yeah, yeah, I called you do it?
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Do it now you're fired, quick delete that fair work.
I'm not gonna like that.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
One will probably be doing swimming lessons at this particular pool.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Not this one. But that's also what's like next to
my list is back to swimming lessons. Being in the water.
That sucks.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I know it's the best.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
We meant what we said, Vic, I don't want it, okay,
I don't want to be anywhere near a public pool,
thank you.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Because it's also I just don't think.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
It's not about the swimming lessons. It's about the bonding
I spoke.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
They do actually do it, but it's quite cold. They
do it in the.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Shallow and I've got it, like you crouch down like this.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
And then you're in a random like you're in with
a random group of other parents and you've gotta be.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Like code brown brown.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
And we're all like singing songs and no one's really
enjoying themselves.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
It's just a lot of speech.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Fucking it, I know she does. I even spooked it
for the swimming center that my kids do swimming lessons
because I thought it was such an amazing opportunity as
a mum of two. It was the only thirty minutes
of my week that I had alone time with Lily,
and I'm sure it'll be the same for you. It
(38:20):
would be the only thirty minutes of your week where
it's just you and Poppy one on one. And it
wasn't about me all day with her that I'm not.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
That into it, Honestly. I went to a couple of
times it was me and Macey. I get it. I
get what you're trying to say, the bonding. Yeah, but
then eventually it was like she hated it and I
hated it as soon as I got out of the water.
Macie loved it. So maybe I'm the problem.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Lily in the water is like joy personified, Like it
is like the happiest she is ever, and so as
soon as you get in the pool with her, you're
just like you can't help.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Actually, Vic, I want to apologize. I have unnecessarily attacked you,
and I just did it to impress Ash.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
I'm used to it.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
It's the first time the last.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
But I think you're right, right.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
You are right, you are.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Right, and and I have just remembered something that I
do now well.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Constructed sentence, go carry on.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Thank you for asking. So I was waiting for so
popping out coming on ten months and it had been
such a long time since having a young child.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Would you call her a toddler?
Speaker 1 (39:28):
No, actually I called her. I called her a toddler.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Everyone was like, shut the fuck up, don't age it.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Know.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
I was like, what do you call the baby? Still?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
She's a baby.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
She's a baby still. And so I have Poppy on Fridays.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
And it's such a good dad.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Got it.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
I would love Dan to have a date with kids,
just one day. It's I think what you're doing is
really good.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
It's such a good day.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Thank you, thank you. I was surprised at how much
you struggle as a parent. Well I do anyway, trying
to play engage with your children when they're baby aged
like six months, seven months, I'm like, what, how are
people playing.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
With their kids?
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Yeah? I was like I had a football and I
was like, I was like frisbee. I was like, what
are you how do we because she has awake windows right,
she has you know, like she's up for three hours.
So I was like, okay, three hours. You know you're
going to have some food, right, and then a bit
of tummy time. She's got a couple of toys. And
(40:36):
then after that, I was like, okay, we've got two
and a half hours to go. I was like, what
are we gonna what are we going to do here?
How are we going to play?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Two and a half hour a long time?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
And I was like and I'm here, like, you know,
this is my time to like really build the relationship
with my daughter. So I'm like, I want to be
doing something that.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
She's loving doing so easy.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
And it's really hard.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
After ten minutes, I'm like I don't.
Speaker 3 (41:03):
Yeah, I think it's well, our attention spans are so
bad now that we're just like the phone is calling.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
I know how if you're if you have a child
that is under twelve months, what are you playing with them?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
TV?
Speaker 3 (41:16):
Pekaboo?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
She she loves a bit of pekaboo.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Every kid loves peka. But that's my trick as a photographer,
literally like a hide behind the camera. You could go
for as long as you want.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
I hide behind the couch.
Speaker 1 (41:26):
Pickaboo sometimes something that we're like we kind of She'll
be crawling and I'll hide and I'll come and get her.
And even that's it's it's exhausting. It's exhausting. Man.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I don't have that. Some people are really really good
at it, and props to those people. I know me.
I am not good at that. I don't honestly. I'm
like two minutes and I'm like, is this We're good?
Speaker 1 (41:50):
But then the hard thing is when you've got that,
I've got that one day where I really have that
one on one time. So you're like, there's a lot
of pressure to really have these beautiful moments from like
my last timmer, going to have a baby, so I
really want to make sure that I'm making the most
out of all these moments. And Poppy's like, are you
into this?
Speaker 2 (42:06):
Poppy? Are you? Are you?
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Are you liking this? A M I doing a good job. Again,
give me one, She's like, God, give me something else.
You're someone original, gets something you get?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
What about something different?
Speaker 1 (42:19):
What else you got?
Speaker 3 (42:22):
Doing this for an hour swimming lesson baby sensory class?
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Do you know what my favorite time with Poppy is
right now.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
When she's asleep. Is good when they can't control the limbs.
Speaker 3 (42:37):
You get me, Do you get in the bathroom?
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah yeah, I'll put the speedoes on and jump in
with her. I reckoncause I reckon. It's weird being maked.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
I'd go budgies too. I think.
Speaker 3 (42:49):
Dan doesn't bath, so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
He's not a bath at all. I'm not a big
bath guy. But I can't get it because it's great.
It's just great to have something that she just loves.
She loves the water, she loves the toys and like
so it's the easiest environment I think to play with
the baby.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
How many bathes pop Me had today, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:12):
We just leave in the bath right now. Yeah. She
wakes up a nine o'clock and I'm like, well, six
hours in the bathrooms?
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Do I feel like? You just put them on one
of those swingy things And.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
He's like, I've you got those jumping jolly.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
I don't have that so they can move around people?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was I remember Oscar was obsessed
with his because he was all of a sudden he
was mobile. And if she's really wriggly. Oh she's quick now,
because Macy was always like.
Speaker 3 (43:38):
I don't want to move, get a jumping jolly thing.
It's entertainment for you and for them.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
I heard that they're like really dangerous everything. Am I
making that up? It's like the drop down cot. I
was like, hey, we're the drop down cots and everyone's like.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Oh they technically everything's don't They like, they.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Don't do it anymore because it's too dangerous. They apparently
like you should get her.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
A pit bull.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
You just need a door frame so you can hook
it over.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Yeah, or you get one of the ones with the
wheels and they move around and there's no there's no
danger there unless they're like a bumper car. Unless they
get out on the.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
Road, go around, go around me in.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Spinning the thing and yeah, hey, actually need to get
out of here. But a little message to all the
parents out there.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Yes, stay safe out there, guys. School Holidays is upon
us and it's dangerous. There's kids everywhere. They meant to
be in school, but they're not.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
This is the hardest moment I think of being a
parent right now. Today is going to come around, so
I know, before we know it'll be Christmas.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Want to punch myself in the throat for saying.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
That I hate Christmas and I hate Christmas Holidays because
it's so long.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Christmas in July.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
Finance, Bros. Christmas, but you're.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Hanging their parents. You doing a great job. Not long ago.
The kids will be back at school. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
If you've enjoyed this episode, please there's a review subscribe
five stars. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Next episode will the housekeeping on Monday, and if you
miss us before then, you can find us on social
media at Two Doting Dads on TikTok on Instagram. There's
a Facebook group and YouTube both shorts and long Yeah
good Bye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
(45:29):
of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea
and community.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island,
the people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land
Popular Podcasts
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.