#247 How Will I Find You In Heaven?

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This may come as no surprise, Ash, but I'm not perfect.
I appear to be get out of yet, but I'm not.
Last night I had many occasions throughout the day where
I was like, don't forget, don't forget to do this task.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
I will say that you're pretty forgetful.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Fuck you.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
If you can't take the honesty, get out of the kitchen.
That's saying.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Let me start the episode. Welcome back to two notting dads.
I am Maddie J And I'm Ash. This is a
podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is

(00:43):
the bad, and and if you come for advice, you're
an idiot.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Well said, Shame on you, shame it is your fault.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Am I slurring my words? Am I slurring? I feel
like I'm slurring. I haven't drunk anything, it's just very
slurry at the moment. Am I having a stroke?

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Find out?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Okay? So I had multiple options throughout the day just
I was like, oh, don't forget. And I was like,
shut up, brain, I know what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Brain, get out of here, Brain, not right now?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Wake up this morning? Forgot to put the bins out.
Sound of the garbage truck as it drives down the
hill past my house, and then I looked like a
pathetic loser, running out and being like, have they come back? Like,
do I chase the garbage truck?

Speaker 2 (01:29):
You just put it on the outside of the road
and they come back up the other side.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
No, No, they do. Because it's a narrow street. They do.
They do both sides at the same time, same time.
They're quick. They're so quick those garbage killed.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
It's called skilled labor.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
So I was like, what do I What do I
do here?

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Just chucking around his bin and wait for next week?

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Well, likely I'm flanked by two houses with dead people
in that they both did to me. My neighbor is
in a home not run down the other one, but not.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Her home, she's in another. So I do I have
the luxury of multiple you can call the council. You
got charge.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm not going to be a pathetic loser.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
You already were altho.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
You know how I talked about morphing into Ronda, being like,
you know, the general of the street. I reported a
car that was parked on the street for too long? Why? Yeah,
because they're taking up car spaces unnecessarily. It's been there
for three months.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Do they put a sticker on it. Oh yeah, oh
yellow one, green one?

Speaker 1 (02:22):
What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (02:25):
It's probably just not faded enough for yellow.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
And then you know, I have like a weird kink
about reading notes that have been left on cars.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
How many cars are you coming across with notes?

Speaker 1 (02:33):
If I'm just walking to the cafe, and if I
see a note that's been left on a car, like
under the windscreen, I want to read written.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
I know someone wrote me so nosy, Someone wrote me
not because I kept parking in the visitors saying what saying?
Stop parking in the visitors? But it was it was.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Like quite politely written.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
And but then like my thought is there's no one
ever in there, like what you can't don't have a
leg to stand on if you don't have any visitors.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Du it. If once you start doing it then everyone
starts doing it, then fuck, there's number of parks left
and you're all the culprit for at all starting So
I think you got a nip it in the but early.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Also, I don't care if that happened. I don't care.
I just scrunched it up and went on with my day.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I reported it. I don't know. I wanted to be
picked up. Now I'm like waiting for it to be
picked up by a tow truck.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Car?

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Is it?

Speaker 1 (03:13):
It's a land Rover? Oh, defender, it's quite nice. Really, yeah,
it's just been sitting.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
There for I was probably stolen. I don't know you
ever had a cast on? Never I had a car stolen?
Can quickly tell you about it?

Speaker 1 (03:24):
Please?

Speaker 2 (03:25):
On. I was an apprentice. I was what nineteen?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
It is this when you're a painter?

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Is this painter?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Okay? So what car are you driving?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I was driving a high lux tray back you Oh
of course you twenty?

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Were you?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Really? Fuck?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
And I was working in broad Beach on the on
the Gold Coast.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Just set your back. How much you pay for that thing?

Speaker 2 (03:45):
It was like fifteen grand, was it?

Speaker 1 (03:46):
That's a lot?

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Look it was a great car. Actually it was a
terrible ride. Fake And like I was a painter.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
How much we doing in the back tray?

Speaker 2 (03:55):
What do you mean by work? Anyway?

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Moving on, I would park it out in front of
this little these villas that we were doing at the time,
they were like four story villas. He walked down, so
park walked down to the garage and up the stairs
to the first floor to look back out onto the streets. Sure,
and I'm taking that set of stairs after coming back
from my car and.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Someone yells out, hey, did you lend someone in your car?
And I was like, that's funny. Turn around, it's driving
down the street. I legged it up the road after
this car. I'm at work, boots and all. I'm just
steaming towards like up like it's in.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
It's in Broadby, so it's not like it's not fast
streets until you get out, so.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
You'd have no chance going up the stairs on the
road to catch the car.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
What happened well, because you go up and then there
was a set of lights.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
It was quite a busy intersection, so it's like getting
out of I thought maybe I could catch him here.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
I don't know what I would have done. I'd probably
been like time. Anyway, I got there and he must
have seen me come.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
And he's hopped the curve going across the grass onto
the Gold Coast Highway and taken off. Oh no, it
was gone. It was completely gone. And then I left
the keys in it. That's why it was gone.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Anyway.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
I didn't get it quick though, for so they must
have been watching me because I would have. I was
back and forth with the car at the time, putting
the keys down the side of the door.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Because I was back back back.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
I think they target constructions.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
I think, yeah, yeah, they done. So I didn't get
it back for ages, and I thought, right, this is over.
I had insurance, I had all the right things, and
I was like, sweet, actually fine. And I remember I
was overseas and I get an email from my insurance
saying we've found your car. I was like, it's like
three months I'd moved on. I was like a breakup.
I was like, I'm looking for rebounds.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
And then I got back and like, you just need
to come and inspect the car. And I went to
spect the car.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
It was in exact nick, except the tray was full
of furniture and inside was a lunch box cooler box
like an eski full of people's garage door keys.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
And the guy goes, let yours.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, bro, that's my fucking lunch box full of fucking keys.
So they'd gone around just robbing people's houses for three
months in his car, and it got picked up because
they parked in a tozone and they towed it away.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
Wow, do you reckon. They came back to the toes.
I was like, with the fox my car, someone stolen
my car.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
So anyway, I got it back and it was fine,
although I did scratches, No, it was all good.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
And then it didn't come off the police register for ages,
so I'd get pulled over and arrested all the time. Literally,
like I was on the main road in Tweed going
to the paint shop and I get pulled over and
the guy's like, hold your hands out the side of
the thing.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
I'm like, fuck, it's eight o'clock in the morning, Like
what the fuck?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
And then I he pulled me out of the car
and put me up against the car.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh my god. And then I was like, hey, people
are dropping Bathway with that ash.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah, I was like this. I was like, this is
fucking ridiculous. And then eventually they cleaned it up. But
it went on for ages until I moved to Sydney.
And then my.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
Dad got a call saying, hey, we found your son's
car in Sydney, and my Dad's like he's had it
back for a year now and he's moved to Sydney.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
I wonder how many police were working on that file,
like we will not.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Meanwhile, I've sold it on already.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Is it it, Jim, I've got the car back. People
out there, dying drug dealers are going wild and they're like,
hang on, more important cases.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Must find the high last highlights with one hundred and
seventy thousand k's on it, we must return it.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
Anyway. That was my experience for having a castle. Wow.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Wow, thank you Riveting for sharing with us housekeeping ash.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, that was part of housekeeping. You're not sure, We'll
just throw it in.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Juliet Allen of a sex oldierst Yeah, our company sex Oldists.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
She's on call.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
A big congratulations to her because she's got some exciting news.
He was a partner for a while. Two kids, Wow,
but now engaged.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Oh congratulations, there you go, great news. I thought it
was Mary, but here you go. No, I guess I
was wrong.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
I have to apologize to someone. His name is Cameron. Okay, Cameron,
So Cameron ordered a shirt, right, someone forgot to tell
the warehouse that we had an order.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
You looking at me like.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
You because I'm talking to you, okay, yeah, sorry? And
Cameron's like hello, Karen, and he was very He waited
a couple of weeks the message and was like, hey,
near my shirt and I said, don't worry, I got
you back. Send them a couple of toys and he said, hey, thanks,
so that really appreciate what you've done. No Warriores, Cameron.

(08:26):
My wife bought your book for me whilst I became
a dad. She listens to your podcast as well, and
he says it would be really cool if you could
do a shout out to her. She's a great mum
and her name is Ash. Take it away, God, take
it away Ash.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
To finish, this is borderline bullying. Get out of here,
shy Laja? Is that good?

Speaker 1 (08:47):
I think so? Is that right? Kala shelilah?

Speaker 2 (08:50):
It is the jay like silent like jogging.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
I mean, Cameron, just if you're going to drop a
name like.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
That, just give us the pronunciation a little bit of help.
So what we going with here?

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Chai la la sha la laha la. Hey, thank you
for being a dodor.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Moving on and I apologize for butchering your name.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Samuel has a message. I really appreciate the messages from
any dodor.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Samuel has messaged a number of times to different accounts
personal two d D and he did a little story
about how annoying it is putting a nappy in the
washing machine, And anytime that sentence has been spoken, he
comes out the woodworks and he's like, just to let
you know, and he says, I wasn't sure if he

(09:34):
was taking the piers.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
He's passionate about the nappy in the.

Speaker 1 (09:37):
Washing machine, is he is? And he says, yo yo yo,
yo yo. No, he said, just listen to the party
about the nappy fucking up the clothes in the washing machine.
Chuck a cup of salt in the washing machine and
wash them again, and all the crystallized nappy shit disappears,
So you don't have to burn the house down for
an insurance job.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
But then won't all my clothes like smell like dirty ocean?
Well you just then you wash again. I'm confused.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah, that's why I was like, surely it doesn't just
work like magic. We put salt in there, and.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, the salt would absorb it all, I guess. But
then you've got a salt problem.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
But then it's going to rust the machine. I don't know,
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Thank you, Samuel.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
The fact that we were questioning we're going to come
back twice as hard now, damn it, Damuel, keep on
writing in.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
There are also other people that have written in around
something else we spoke about, which was knits. Hmmm, and
don't just have suggestions Matt of what to do hit me.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
This is from Jilly. It's the worst. Try coke, be
more specific. Okay, I get the dealer on the phone.
Coke in their hair.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Also, my ex mother in law use a cat flea
treatment in her daughter's hair and apparel.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
It worked for the whole class, except they are all
now mewing.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Did you make that up?

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (10:49):
I would hate to think the dotors think that we
attack them for writing into a podcast.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
But did I have an attacking tone? No?

Speaker 1 (10:57):
I just think there are products designed specifically for the
basket hand, right, there are knit treatments. So the fact
that you've gone and gotten coca cola and then going
and gotten flea triament for a cat when you're like, hey,
there's I don't know if it's more, if it's stronger.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
And how did you figure that out?

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Like, just use the knit treatment. Although I'm using it,
it's not working.

Speaker 3 (11:16):
It's not working, so maybe maybe I should shut then
maybe you should Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Try it?

Speaker 3 (11:20):
Let us know the coke in the hair is does
it have to be the sugar full sugar full banger?

Speaker 1 (11:24):
I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 (11:25):
Another Dodo actually said, if you use a hair straightener,
it actually burns the eggs and kills the knits as
you put.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
It through the hair.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Don't they get stuck to your scalp?

Speaker 1 (11:36):
They are quiet, but it kills them.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Although I when I when I search through Marley's hair, yeah,
you're right, the knits are like right on the scalp.
So I'm gonna have to really burn her shave her
head off. Yeah, that's what I've threatened it with. One
Dodo said that they only wash hair on Friday nights
because apparently the knits they like clean hair, so you
wash it on the Friday, so it avoids having clean
hair at school where the kids are all grubby and

(12:01):
infested with Macy's hair.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
It's like if it's stinkers getting washed and I'm like,
you need to wash your hair.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
She's like no, she hates it.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
It's like your hair stinks. Speaking of smelly hair, the
kids got their braids done in Bali. Oh yeah, and
last night came out well. Lola wanted to wear it
for one day to school and then Marley was like,
I think I've done time to get him out.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's mature.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
They haven't washed their hair and like in a long
time since Bali. Fucking hell do you have to get
him out? Took him took an hour and a half individual,
one by one, and I have to use he's a
fork which helped in the end to just like detangle
the braids. It was of arthritis.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
And then I'm going to do Lola tonight. But apparently
conditioner where anyone has come back from Bali recently and
the kids have braids, if you take them out, conditioner
just peeps the conditional conditioner.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Yeah, you must loosen it up.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
I guess that's well, yeah, there we go. Well said, oh,
you're actually ash. We have a question here before we
move on from housekeeping. It is crazy to think that
we're nearing towards the second half of the year. Now
we're in the second half. Were actually we are in
the second half of the year, Well said, thank you?
How did we get here? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
Well, you see, go on, time flies.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
It does fly. It's getting the older, you get quicker quick.
Here it goes yow.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
The slower I get though. Everything else getting quicker and
I'm getting slower.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
Yes, Sometimes when I drive around one die there's an
old man who walks a lot and he's very, very slow,
and I think to myself, will that be me? One day? Well,
I would be that old I.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
Pulled into it, went to pull into the petrol station
last night, and there was a guy crossing the petrol
on the footpath crossing the petrol station driveway, and I
stopped to.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Let him cross.

Speaker 3 (13:48):
But I realized that he was the slowest walker on
earth by the time he crossed.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Oh, traffic back to ar like a kilometer back.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
You just nip in no, because I was like, I
didn't want to be about the bad guy.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I felt like he was too far across to me
to be like I was really nip in here. And
then I had to wait. It was like fifteen minutes
in crossing the road.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
And he would have appreciated it.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Did I tell you about the person who beat me
when I was waiting for someone acrossing the road?

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Go on, there's the intersection at the end of my street.
Is the main road in section.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
Ok, it's a great road.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Pittwater Road for the potholes, Potwater Road whatever that the
lights there, it's one of those ones where it's like
when they're walking, light goes, you go once it's flashing
and they're all the way across, right sure, pretty standard,
very standard. There was someone coming across in one of
those motorized wheelchairs and the I stopped because I'm at
the front. So the person behind me beep, not knowing

(14:39):
it was a disabled person getting across the road.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
They thought they and I was like ooh, And.

Speaker 3 (14:45):
As I drove around the corner to look back, you
can just see the guy's face was like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Nothing makes you feel like a ship like than that.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
I know it's not his body couldn't see, but you
know I wouldn't just be stopped there for no reason.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
I'm impatient too. Anyway, Moving on.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Calendar though calendar it was a long way of getting
to work. Do we want to do them or not?

Speaker 2 (15:05):
A good question?

Speaker 1 (15:06):
And if we do them, how do we do them?

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Another good question?

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Very good question. Questions we're putting out just to the
orbit of the dotors.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
All right, why don't we do a poll, let it
marinate and see what we come back.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Like, obviously it's more work, which we're happy to do
for them. But it's like it's like making dinner for
your child. If you guys aren't hungry, we're not going
to cook your dinner. No, no, okay. But if you're
hungry and you're starving, gladly, I'll go to the shops
by the ingredients, cook it, give you a delicious meal.
We'll get it done, put it on the table, and
we'll all sit down and eat together.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Analogies coming out the wazoo here.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
Thank you, so let us know, are you hungry or not? Yes,
let us know.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
We'll do a little pole I reckon.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Vic's back, Vick is back, welcome back, Hello, Hello, how
was your trip?

Speaker 4 (15:51):
It was wonderful. Thank you for granting me two weeks away.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
A choice in the matter.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah, you're like, I'm going did you so vibe without me?

Speaker 4 (16:00):
Or did I walk myself out of a job.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
No, we got there in the end, lockey Field in
and he was met more or less. He just sat there.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
Okay, Locky, if you're listening, he did a great job.
He would be fucking offended. Sorry, Locky, he did.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
He did a great job.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
And as she's like, he just sat there.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
I was trying to make he did do a good job.
But it's good to have you back. If some of
the trip up for us.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
What's Vietnam like?

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Vietnam is beautiful and I would highly recommend with children. Okay,
we did a lot of theme parks.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
It was like water parks.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
There's like a Vietnam version of Disneyland they call it.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
It was a bit too much for me. What I
couldn't your itinery was?

Speaker 2 (16:47):
It was you did a lot of stuff. Yeahs a
bit much anyway, too much?

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah, I was like, funk, she's at it again. The
stamina on.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
The I know.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
I was like, do something else. You made us all bad.
That's what we're getting out here.

Speaker 4 (17:03):
We only did like one thing a day, and then
we'd always have like if it was a big day
away or like get to a theme park or whatever,
we then have a day off like by the pool
the next day. So it was kind of like peaks
and troughs like it.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
How how warm was it? How was it? How was it?

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Two weeks?

Speaker 4 (17:22):
It was really warm.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
It was lovely.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
But the second location we went to it was monsoon weather.
So that's when we had a lot of indoor time
because there was rain. But I did hear you mentioned
my camera on the podlast?

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah? Well we were really won.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Where did you lose it?

Speaker 4 (17:39):
I never took it.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
It's such a mom thing to do.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
And then it's do you have multiple cameras?

Speaker 4 (17:48):
No, I've only got the one camera.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Hang on a second, and it's not small.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
You're talking about the good camera too, it's not small.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Surely I don't want to attack you here, but surely
you must do you did you think you used it?
Or did you not know? So happened?

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (18:03):
As soon as I arrived in Vietnam at the hotel,
which was around one am Sydney time, having left our
house at seven am Australia time. Yeah, so really long
day for all of us. I was in a daze
that whole week. I've been working till midnight, so I
was like, not myself?

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Am I doing?

Speaker 4 (18:20):
Dan was not impressed. However, I think I must have
made the decision right before we left that if I
took my camera it was actually going to be like
work for me because if I take photos on holiday,
I then have to upload them, edit them.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Explort them. And I was just like, yeah, that's great.

Speaker 4 (18:37):
Yeah, I really just want to have a break because
as much as I love taking photos, and I feel
bad for my kids because I give photos to all
my clients and none to my own family. But I
got to the hotel in Vietnam and I as soon
as I put the suitcases down, I realized I didn't
have my camera bag, and I was like, fuck, I
don't have my camera bag. And I don't remember any

(18:58):
of the steps of the way here that I've had
my camera bag.

Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh god.

Speaker 4 (19:02):
I was like, it definitely didn't come to Vietnam. It's
probably at Sydney Airport or it's at on the airplane.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
Just what's that camera? Worth? Four grand?

Speaker 3 (19:13):
It's a lot of money for a camera. And it's
like that feeling when you're like and then also when
you can't retrace your steps, especially ADHD.

Speaker 2 (19:20):
I'm just saying, I'm like, I just do with that thing.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
And then someone from the outside is like, what you
did this?

Speaker 2 (19:25):
You did that? Remember any of that?

Speaker 1 (19:27):
I know?

Speaker 4 (19:27):
And my friend was like, you would know, like you'd
remember putting it on or taking it off, like you
remember those specific steps, And I was like.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
Actually can't.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
I was like, did I put it under the seat
in the car. Did I put it under the seat
in the plane? And I went to Lost and Found,
I called the airline, I did all the steps. I
even looked at my insurance and said I could only
claim it if it was stolen.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
Did you want to speak to someone in Sydney to
go to your house to look?

Speaker 4 (19:48):
And so luckily there was someone staying in our house
and I asked them and they said they couldn't find
it anywhere.

Speaker 2 (19:55):
Was this a man?

Speaker 1 (19:55):
It wasn't sparking out. He would have been looking right camera.
He would have been holding it being like, we're not
going to tell you it was here, but camera.

Speaker 4 (20:10):
So then we were funny say that though, because we
got back and I looked around, I'm.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Like, funk, where is it?

Speaker 4 (20:15):
It's nowhere, like where have I lost it? And then
I was just about to get in the current got
a camera house to buy a new one because I
had two shoots the next day, and Dan goes, I
found your camera and I'm like, where is it? And
it was under we have this BedHead that's old sitting
at our front already to go to trash. It was
between the wall and the BedHead, like in this little crack.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
And so I was like, did the kids put it there?

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Blame the kids?

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yeah, you must have done on the way out.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Yeah, Or maybe I just tucked it in there because
I knew someone was staying and I didn't want it
to get to it. I don't know, but I have
my cameras.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
It was not.

Speaker 4 (20:55):
Cocktail related, as you do.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
We say that we did. Yeah, I don't know if
we said that.

Speaker 2 (21:01):
And Dan was really loving all the photos.

Speaker 4 (21:03):
Oh yeah, he hates the photo. He's just like your ash.
He also hates a water park.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Hate water Who was a family.

Speaker 4 (21:13):
Yeah, they were from my mother's group when I had
Louis from Bondy. But there was one thing that happened
on the holiday that I really wanted to ask about
because I was really shocked by this and I would
love to know because you guys are quite frequent flyers
and I've attack kind of When we got to the

(21:34):
flight on the way home, it was fully booked and
we couldn't because of the transfers and stuff like, we
couldn't really check in online. And we got there and
all four of us were seated separately on the flight home,
and it was a red eye kids I'm talking about
my three year old daughter, a six year old son,
and me and Dan all seated separately. What did they

(21:56):
say the checking desk when I checked in because it
was a trans for again, They're like, we can't do
anything here. You've got to talk to the staff when
you see that.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
That's such a like.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
I help you, but I can my mum.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
Rage was like getting higher. I was curious and I
was starting to like, you know when you feel like
you're gonna cry, because I was like, I kept thinking
of the worst scenarios as a mother of like if
someone slips a hand under the blanket because it's a
red eye, like to my daughter or my son, or
like if something happens I can't see that because I'm
not near them. And so I went to the airline

(22:30):
as soon as I got there, and I said, can
you please help me? And all they did was they
couldn't figure out anyway. The flight was fully booked, including
first class.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
You imagine getting first class, Oh no, with the whole
family in first.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Class, And.

Speaker 4 (22:50):
So I actually saw them approaching people who were traveling
solo and saying, can you swap your seat? And that
was the only way they were able to do it
just before they got into the place.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
Something to do that though, But like to put you
in that position to start off with, surely it has
You've got to put date of birth, everything on past.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, should be all connected.

Speaker 4 (23:08):
But it is illegal because a child anywhere, everywhere, a
child isn't allowed on a flight without a guardian, So
why wouldn't you have them seated with a guardian?

Speaker 2 (23:19):
That's strange. Yeah, so you just end up sitting together
in the end.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
Okay, both fly. Dan got his own seat by himself,
and then it's me and the two kids together. But
this one, I was me on one side of the
aisle and then the two kids on the other side
of the aisle, so whenever the cart was in between us,
it wasn't possible.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Oh yeah, oh my god. Dan just coming up. He's
just like I'm not going to say anything here and
just see how this plane's out.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
For me, Like, hey, actually, my kids aren't three and five,
eighteen and twenty one separate us.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
All sit me first class?

Speaker 1 (23:53):
Great? Thank you.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
Oh I'm glad you made it back in one piece
with a camera, all your kids and that you were
able to have it did look like a good trip
from the outside.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Look looked like a great trip to Welcome back.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
Now straight to work. What have we got news? Are
you want to talk about masturbating? Which is interesting topic
to choose, zig, but go ahead take it away.

Speaker 4 (24:12):
I noticed you chose an ejaculation story for breaking news
in my absence, so.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Love so convenient. It was a.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Little it was Locky who chose it?

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Yeah, it was all Locky.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
He was like, let's talk about gum and then I said,
what about a buffey and come buffy?

Speaker 4 (24:29):
Okay, Well, this story is actually about New York. So
New York City's trialing a first of its kind policy
giving parents something they rarely get.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Time.

Speaker 4 (24:39):
Mayor Zoran Mumdani has launched a free parents' night out program,
offering supervised childcare so moms and dads can enjoy a
few hours to themselves. The initiative is being praised for
recognizing that modern parents don't just need financial support, they
need a break too.

Speaker 2 (24:57):
He's like, just put your keys in this bowl here.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
How logistically how are they doing that? I mean, that's
that's like, who's.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Going to look after all these kids?

Speaker 4 (25:08):
So children at age six to thirteen, we'll spend the
evening at local recreation centers, participating in sports, arts and crafts, games,
nature activities and media education with dinner provided.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
I reckon, even if you put a gun to like
the premier's head here in New South Wales, they wouldn't
be able to organize that. They'd be like, oh, it'd
be like organizing the Olympics they did four years and
they need to build like buildings for it.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
There's no way.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
How are they doing that in New York If it's.

Speaker 4 (25:33):
And the population in New York as well, is that
is insane?

Speaker 1 (25:38):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
I'm just trying to think logistically how that would work.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
It's insanely amazing. But maybe unless it's like school and
they're just saying, like the teachers, the teachers are like,
we're doing what now?

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, they're like overtime mentory. You're not paying a shut.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Like that's brilliant. The teachers and everything like this sucks and.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
It's like, oh, I think I reckon.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
If you're like a workplace and you put on something
like that to get a little bit more morale out
of the parents and stuff, But to do a whole
city and.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
The biggest city in the world, they've got a big park.

Speaker 4 (26:09):
I guess I was thinking that the reason they're doing
it is to help with the declining birth rate and
give parents a chance to have sex.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
The bears just a big horn dog and you're all
getting free lubricant and then contraceptive. They just kind of
played Barry White the streets and.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
All the kids are away, the parents having sex on.

Speaker 1 (26:32):
The street, and I'm going to put cameras in every room.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
How do I tap into that feed?

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Whish you got in New York?

Speaker 2 (26:40):
Wait, let's in nine months time. Let's all just see
what the birth rate is in New York.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
So I wonder if it'll work. Genius is very good,
it is, and he's just a big old pervert.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
There's definitely a tax ki back somewhere, Like, why would.

Speaker 4 (26:51):
You sure a lot of these endors are already set up
for that? I will say in Sydney there's a lot
of daycares who do like parents' night out, So if
you keep your there for a little bit later than normal,
I think they shut at eight instead of six, and
then parents can have a date and then pick up
their child.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
Oh like a little early dinner.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah, I've never seen that done before.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
I can just picture the teachers going right, eight o'clock, right, kids,
you're stuck.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Now, off they go, and then all the parents get off.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
But you have to what can you do eight o'clock late?
Is it? You wan un till ten o'clock at least
having dinner, and then that you do before you go
before dinner.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
I don't want to go on full stomach.

Speaker 5 (27:33):
No.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
No, okay, thank you, Vig, thank you, thank you for
the news. It's good to have you back.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Ash. I've got a real conundrum. Sex with my wife
or doco with my mum. You seem nervous because she
doesn't like talking about it in the pocket, but I talked.
She talks about She talks so much about you that
she would have the issue of my household is that
I'm not spending enough time with Nana. The way my
afternoon routine is, I pick up the kids, We do dinner,

(28:00):
We put the kids in the bath, get them into
bed where you have someone to eat, clean the house,
and then I have like an hour I can just
do one last little blitz on work on the laptop, right,
and then I go to bed. And then the issue
is Nana, who's been so patient all day waiting for
some type of interaction. She's like, what do your guy's doing,
and we're like, don't.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
Have sex, fuck off and we're like no, Nana, like
not now, Nana.

Speaker 1 (28:25):
And I've got, like, you know, so much to do.
I'm a busy guy. You just got the direction of emails,
thank you very much. And then Laura's kind of said,
you know, you need to be able to spend more
time with Nana, you know, because she really wants it.
And it's you know, it's been a number of months
now that we've just not having the quality time. I
think the issue of having your parents live with you

(28:48):
is that where they're always there, you know, you don't
value the time as much when you you know, when
helping is your mum in town.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Like a lot, but too much.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
When she's in town, you know, you give her the
attention she deserves. I'm a s because you're a great sign.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
It's more she doesn't give me the attention I deserve. Okay,
she's spending a lot more time with one side of.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
The family, and I want to go into it.

Speaker 1 (29:11):
There's always there's always one favorite fan like child family,
but I need I need to spend more time with
my mum. Right, And if there's one thing my mom likes,
it's watching a little bit of TV. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
She loves news.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
She loves the news. And if there's one thing she
loves more than the news, it's a docco And to
be really specific, world War two that is her jam.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Really is it nostalgia?

Speaker 1 (29:35):
I think it's just it was a world war like
she would have been around. No, she's not world War two? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:42):
After just no, what yeah, well your mum's seventy.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
What so she's no, she's World War two was like
nineteen forty, ninety thirty, Yeah, ninety five because the Germany
involved Poland you would know, would I'll be watching it.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
I can never mind anything that comes down of my mouth.
I just I just thought it was later than that.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
We both have a real fascination with World War Two. Yeah.
And if there's another thing that we both really like,
Tom Hanks. Okay, Okay, it just so happened.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
Nothing wrong with Tom Hanks.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
There's a new twenty part series World War Two. Who's it?

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Narrated by Carl Sevanovic.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
What do you know, Tom Hanks?

Speaker 3 (30:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Right, I would just think that I'm listening to is
it Woody? Is he Woody? Or no, he's bars isn't he.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
I just feel like I'm listening to Woody the whole time,
like there's a snake in that boot.

Speaker 4 (30:36):
He was from Saving Private Ryan. He's got a lovely,
rich voice.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
He does he knows the topic. I think he's produced this.
So I'm like, Mom's gonna love this, you know. I
went to her and I said, you're not going to
believe what's on TV at the moment. She's like, what
I said, World War two docco narrated by Tom Hanks,
and she was was like Christmas. She was like really
and she's like, I have we seen her not just
come out? And I was like, it's a twenty part

(31:00):
series and we're going to start watching it one episode
every night.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
She's like, oh god, you know, and you think she
wants to spend more time and you shut up, okay,
because don't you start putting those thoughts in my head.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Because she loves it.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
And she's like, oh god, now she's telling her mates.
I gotta go now.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
I was like, you mean tonight and I was like, tonight,
he's so needy. On Saturday, Laura was away. She had
a dinner out. So I was like, Saturday night. I mean,
it sounds anyone who doesn't have kids being like, what's
it like being an adult? You're fucking watching World War
two docodes with your mom at home on a Saturday night.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
Let's bang on.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
That's that's exacting.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
You might as well get you'll probably able to hang
over from that.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
So then it gets to Sunday, and Sunday in our
household is a sexy night, okay because during the.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
Week it's used to be Friday nights. Yeah, but I
better changed out of my calendar.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Who's got time to have sex Monday Monday to Thursday?
Like if you do? Oh he is? Wow? Okay, well
you and April actually and credit where credit is? Do
you have a very healthy sex life?

Speaker 2 (32:02):
We love each other every night?

Speaker 1 (32:06):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (32:07):
I wish No, not every night?

Speaker 1 (32:12):
No, So then I promised mum we watched on the
Saturday night. We were crazy. We watched three episodes back
to back.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Wow, no, three hours.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
It was a forty five minute episode around up so
you know, I was like, no, no, no, I can't.
I've got to go to bed. I'm so tired, And
she was like, watch your man, I can't wait till
tomorrow because Pearl Harbor was about to happen on and
so then after dinner, I promised, I promised Nana that
I'm gonna watch another episode with her, and Laura's like
pretty tired? What? And I was like, obviously, Laura is

(32:46):
not into the docos either, Like.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
She's like, there's nothing sexy about World War Two.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
So I'm like, Laura, I've got to watch this doc.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
I did.

Speaker 1 (33:00):
I did, and I was like, so put it back
in your pants. I was like, it's only going to
be forty five minutes and uh and Laura's like, HM,
been rejected for World War Two? And I had the option, right, Okay,
I had the option. Then in there, do I either

(33:23):
go up to the bedroom have sex with my wife
that we both really enjoy and it's been a little while,
or do I watch a World War two docco narrated
by Tom Hanks.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
You could? You could have done both.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
I couldn't.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
You couldn't because what'd you go with is a cutoff.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Time for no sex after that? For five was alarm
at home. Yeah, so I watched the doc.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Good for You that takes that takes courage. You are
courageous I did it for Nana.

Speaker 4 (34:00):
What if Ash talked about this the other day, he
has sex as soon as the kids are in bed.
What if you went and had sex and then came
back down and watched it.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
I can't. I can't once, I once once. I can't.
I can't. I can't transition.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
It's hard to go.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yeah, sex and then sleep. That's how I work.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Yeah, Thankfully for me, I can transition.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
It's a skill.

Speaker 3 (34:21):
It's a skill I've honed over many years.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
So where are we up to on the doco?

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Well, Pearl Harbor happened, we're now, We're now the Battle
of the Coral Sea. Twenty episodes, episodes.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
That's got to be longer than World War Two itself.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
I mean it's we all know how the story ends, right, Well,
we win the war, Oh because of a nuke?

Speaker 2 (34:50):
They're right. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
I don't really care.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
I'm not like a big hour.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
It's Winston Churchill, Roosevelt, all the goats, and like my
mom knows how it goes. I know how it goes.
But we're just we're just engrossed by it. It's the
it's the common ground that we have. Nice. Good for you, Thanks,
good so now I've got to wait another week.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Why don't you do it tonight? We can't do it,
you'll be going too quick.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
No, we can't do midweek. Ash. I'm sorry to get
angry at you, but it can't happen. Why because it's
too much on. There's too much like you got you
got the mental load of the week. You know, it's
you're exhausted. No, it's not, no, not gonna happen.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
We make it happen.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, it's because you know what. You guys are horn dogs.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Thank you. Speaking of horn dogs, I was betrayed at
the highest order.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Who was it?

Speaker 2 (35:48):
My wife?

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Oh my gosh. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
So I was out of the house, okay, and I
have come home unexpectedly, all right over the weekend, sort
of will let myself into my own house as I'm
allowed to do. And I opened the door and I
was frozen with the sight that I was met with
my wife laid out on the couch.

Speaker 2 (36:12):
Okay, watching football.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
What.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
I have never been so betrayed in my life.

Speaker 4 (36:17):
I thought you would have been turned on.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
Yeah, that's low.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
I'm betrayed. Turned on later, let me get there. But
I walk in and I was like, hey.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
Can I just suggest one thing. Was there someone else
in your house? Maybe that made a quick escape, but
as they heard you coming up the spell. Definitely not
not to plant that seed. April was a very loyal woman,
and I know I was like, what was she watching?
What game? What game?

Speaker 2 (36:41):
Was it? Again?

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Was it manly? At least? No?

Speaker 2 (36:44):
It was Newcastle and Cronulla?

Speaker 1 (36:46):
Damn it?

Speaker 2 (36:47):
She was watching you go on.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Probably anyway I've walked in, I've opened the door and
born their years and I was like, hey, what are
you do?

Speaker 2 (36:53):
What is this?

Speaker 3 (36:54):
And like, of all the games that we could have
watched together, of all the times we could have spoken
about football, She's like, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
Quite into it.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
She didn't tell me.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
I feel betrayed.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
I don't understand. I'm confused.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
What do you mean you confused?

Speaker 1 (37:08):
She just all of a sudden was like, oh, let's
see what's on the TV guide. Oh, Cranala is playing. Yeah,
I'll watch it. Yeah. Like something must have spurred her.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
But if I suggested, well she watched football against you're like,
h I'm a right, Like I watched football because she
doesn't want to.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Watch her she understand the rule? Yeah, who He's taught
her I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
I feel betrayed, That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
I think she's having an affair with who better.

Speaker 2 (37:30):
Be handsome, I mean athletic.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
He is an NRL player, damn it.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
And I was like, oh, did.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
You watch it together?

Speaker 4 (37:37):
At least?

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Like, did you finish the game together?

Speaker 2 (37:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (37:40):
We finished the game and I was like, there's another
game on after this. She was just like, no, fuck off.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
But I was like, of all the times that it's like, oh,
you know how we do this thing where it's like
I do you want to watch something? And we never agree.
Now they're option of foot is on the table, taking
to Manley. She has been a manly games but she
only goes with the kids.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
This is this is right. You guys have got you know.
This is like imagine if I came home and Laura
was watching a World War two docco, I would love it.
That would be heaven on her. This is a great result.
Not betrayed. I think this is okay, this is this
is a positive.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
At first, I was betrayed. No, and that because it
was like I felt like.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
Maybe she was trying to like understand the game without
you there, so that she could be like, oh, Nico's
playing well, he scored to try is he playing well?

Speaker 2 (38:26):
It is? I was like, what are you looking at?
My wife quite likes biceps. I know that about her.
He doesn't okay, keep your hand wow wow? And I
was like, what are you looking at? I hang it like,
I was like, what are you watching?

Speaker 1 (38:39):
How do you know she likes biceps?

Speaker 3 (38:40):
I just I know I know what she likes over many,
many years of observation and flexing in front of it.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
What do you think about this? So she's a bicep guy?
What are you?

Speaker 2 (38:54):
I'm like, what am I?

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (38:56):
A buck guy?

Speaker 1 (38:57):
You're a big buck guy.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
Thank you. But anyway, I was like, what are you
watch it? Like, I'm like staring at their bicyle and
was like, no.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
A little bit of insecurity for me. That's cute, thank you.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
I got to keep her on a toast sometimes.

Speaker 3 (39:09):
So anyway, apparently April has been watching football without me,
and at first I was betrayed. I felt betrayed, But
now I feel like there's an opportunity for when she says,
hey we should watch something and I can be like football.
Actually I did try it already.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
I lied. I was like, hey, we got a TV
in the bedroom. I was like, wow, you know, oh wow.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
She was like no, it must be nice. She was like,
oh no, what's how big is it?

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Thirty two inches?

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Oh bloody Holly d shut us by a bright new
car as well.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
How many properties you got? Anyway? Moving on, I was like, oh,
we can move this to the bedroom. She's like forty
of the bedroom.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
I was like, damn it.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I'm trying to get all the worlds in.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
One very like there's all these rules to figure out,
and I'm all these new rules. It's Thursday.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
I'm like, think about we could eat. We could eat,
watch footy and have sex in bed all at the
same time.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Anyway, Yeah, what else can you guys do together? Play
the pokes?

Speaker 2 (40:06):
Nah in there.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Actually we were at the RSL on Friday, and I
sometimes forget, like I'll just watch like the football's on
and I'll just watch it, and I sometimes you got
to try and include the kids, right, You got to
try and like bring them into your interests. And Marley
was like, what is it? What's happening here? And it
was a game between actually it was the Dolphins versus
the Cowboys, and there was like three tries in the
last five minutes. Oh yeah, tries are very exciting. And

(40:32):
it was so nice because I was like, what they're
trying to do, Marley, You got the football field, You've
got six tackles to try and get to your try line.
If you can't do it, six tackles, hand the ball over,
the other team has to go. And she was like, Okay,
I kind of get it. Get all these tries. She
was like this is great.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (40:47):
She was like, fucking hell, so much is happening? Like
how many points there are? Because kids love.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
They love them?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
Yeah, that's what oscars I reckon his favorite part of
the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
She's like, thirty two.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
Wow is the points. And it's like the problem is
with bringing them.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
Into your world is that you And I've found this
out the hard way on the weekend when my football
team seemed to not be doing very well and Oscar
lives and breathes this football team, the Manly Seagulls.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
And I've been watching them lose.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
They had a good run for anyone who's unfamiliar with
the NRL season, manly new coach doing fantastic. All of
a sudden, what the wheels fall off?

Speaker 3 (41:24):
And I took him last week where to the game
itself where we were ahead, but me, being the old
head and been watching them for years, could tell they're
going to come back and win this game.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
He was in tears there, so I to carry him
home from there.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
This is resilience buildings, I said every time, I'm like, bro,
get used to it, right, it's thirty five years of
turmoil for me in the quitter, get used to a kid.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
You'll get there.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
This is his live Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
And then going into the game we just had at home.

Speaker 3 (41:55):
I was quite boisterous at the TV a couple of
times because I was frustrated, and that's fair.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
I'm not to be frustrated. But then I realized that
to go for a walk.

Speaker 3 (42:05):
I had to go for a little mental health walk
because I was so frustrated that he was starting to
mimic the behavior.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
What do you mean so like the behavior of I'm
annoyed about it, and like sports fans yell at TV,
we yell at TV.

Speaker 1 (42:19):
Guilty.

Speaker 3 (42:20):
You know it happens, but I don't want him to
be then go into the next phase of his life
thinking that that's normal and acceptable, because if we look
at World Cup, England lose Okay, the calls to the
Triple one or Triple zero for them over there about
domestic violence is unbelievably high, Like it is to a
point where people are quitting their jobs in the call

(42:41):
center because it's so horrible. So that now I saw
firsthand of him, sort of, I wasn't over the top.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
I would have been, according to people who don't watch sport,
but I was like, pretty like what the fuck are
they doing?

Speaker 3 (42:53):
Like having a bit of a winge, And I could
see he was picking up on that energy too, and
I was like, Okay, well, well, I would hate for
him to notice how I talk about that sort of
thing and think it's completely acceptable moving into the next
phase of his life when he grows up and you know,
like I don't want I don't.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Want to because crying, I guess crying. It's actually great
that he's crying, right, that he has an outlet that
he can let that emotion out. And if you're not saying, hey,
suck it up, you know, be a man. If you're
allowing that emotion to come out and it's not being suppressed,
it's actually really yeah, that's a really mature situation for
him to be in.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Yeah, that I don't have a problem with because yes,
it's feelings, right, and it's okay for him to be
angry with his footy team. But it's just I always
say to him when he loses Uno or something, I'm like.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
It's okay to be sad, but it's how you act.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
Okay, you shake everyone's hand, you can, you can be
sad about it, but how you act towards others.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
And I was doing I wasn't preaching what I sewd
to whatever that saying is. But then I started to
think about it later on in that night where it
was like all.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
Of the news that came out around that, which is
absolutely horrific.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
And I was like, fuck, imagine all those people that
are like that had learnt it from somewhere.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
And I don't want it to be a situation where
I want him to encourage his football team.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
I wanted to be able to express his emotions.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
I don't want him to place it and get aggressive
and place it in the wrong space.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
Anyway. That's beautiful.

Speaker 4 (44:20):
I think that's actually a really beautiful lesson.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
You're trying to thank you, thank you, But now mum
can watch footy too. She'll shut me up.

Speaker 2 (44:27):
Because I mean, it's just like I have emotions too.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
I'd like to say that as an anger problem. But
what she like when mainly starts losing, she's.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
Actually pretty level headed because I'm like, turn it off.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Didn't she didn't? She did she throw into the kick
a hole in the wall.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
That wasn't sport related.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
Imagine mum rage when it means sport rage.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, I don't think she she doesn't.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Just all of is be careful.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
She's pretty competitive, but I think she's really only competitive.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
In what she's doing, not what she's viewing.

Speaker 3 (44:59):
I think she would see a team lose and go
it's a bum up man, you know, and like it'd
be nice to have that as well instead of like
it dictating my whole mood. I had to go for
a fucking walk and then when I get back, I'm like,
I feel like a fucking child, like a child, just
the way that sometimes I can. You can act because
the emotion does take over.

Speaker 1 (45:19):
Mate. It's wild how much your team loses, how much
influences your mood. But yeah, to know that there's other
families out there that are experiencing it to the point
of violence, it's horrific.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
I'd hate for him to grow up and then me
look at that and go, Okay, he's modeled his behavior
off me, and it's not it's no good.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
So that that and that was just a.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
Thought I had, and I thought, okay, well, now I've
got to be really careful around how I perceive things
and express things vocally.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
You know what I started saying, which is really bad
is when the kids are like, but I want that,
I don't care, and then they start when I'm like,
you need to brush your hair, They're like, no, I
don't care. They're little sponges, and little sponges did everything
you do? They like pick up on it, and I'm like,
kind of breathe properly without you guys copying me.

Speaker 3 (46:08):
Yeah, it's when you want them to model the good behavior, yes,
but then when you pick up on the bad behavior.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Like sometimes sometimes I've heard him like talk to talk.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
To his sister just in a way that maybe I've
spoken to someone else or had a laugh for someone
else he doesn't quite understand, or and I'm like, oh.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Fuck you forget so quickly.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
Can I just say credit where credit is due that
level of self awareness? Thank you, very very good thank
you very good. I mean I imagine if we all
had that same level of self awareness and be aware
of our actions are to be a beautiful place.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Yeah, I just have to make sure I practice it now.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
I mean it's one thing to acknowledge it, which is
a start, But then the next thing is that we're
going to have a lot of years ahead of us
of watching the football.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Our football team lose, but I.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
Like I always say to him as well, like I'm
always like, look, we're gonna win some, we're gonna lose some.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
Okay, It's just the way it is. Everything is like that.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
Every situation you're going to come across in your life,
you're going to win some of it, you're going to
lose some of it. But depending on how you express
that emotion outwards will depend on how people are going
to view you and how you view yourself.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Yeah, what's said, thank you? Do you talk to your
kids about death?

Speaker 3 (47:13):
Oh? Not like the regular but like I definitely they're
aware of the concept of death.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
Because you're fortunate that you haven't really had we haven't
really hit.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
That people are Obviously, when someone within the family passes away,
it's then the catalyst to then explain to them that
life moment.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Yeah right, we haven't got that yet.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
And I'm having these like really amazing chats with the
girls two moments in the day. One is when I'm
driving the car with them and we have a really
good chat. The other time is after we read a
book we have a little chill in bed, and then
we have these like little moments, especially with Marley, where
I'm like, oh, I'm really it's different to you know,
when you're just like talking to your kid, but we're

(47:54):
actually like having a real strong back and forth.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Curiosity really takes over. Yeah, and it's it's actually like
I noticed it same with like Oscar as well at
that age, where it's a different type of conversation because
he's actually engaged instead of.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Just saying what's on this? What do we do next?
But it's it's you're.

Speaker 3 (48:13):
Right, yeah, yeah, he might have It's funny that you
pick up the nonsense questions and the genuine questions, right, and.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
When it's one on one, I'm like, oh wow, this
is this is different. So we're talking about death, and
the way that we explain it is that you know,
it's very matter of fact that when you pass away
you know that is that is it? And then sometimes
Mary will say like, oh, you know when you die
your eyes closed? Are they open? And You're like, oh,
make it easy.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
It depends on the murder. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

Speaker 3 (48:47):
Well it was blood forced trauma to the head, so yeah,
eyes were open.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Let's look at some photos and I'm like, I'll just
keep it easier. Yeah, when you pass away, you close
your eyes and then we say, you know that is
you're no longer around, but you have a soul. Your
soul goes up into the sky. And then we say
that the stars, like you know that they're the people
that are passed away. So that star you know, that's Papa,
you know. And she understands it, and she's like okay,

(49:11):
So the cogs are turning and I can see that
she's asking some more questions. And then she's like, but
then will I will I see you in heaven? And
I'm like, yeah, yeah, like well you know when I'm
up there and I'll wait for you. And she's like, well,
how how will I find you? Like how will I
find you in heaven? And I'm like, oh, you know,

(49:31):
like fuck, how do I answer that? And I'm like yeah,
and I'm like, oh, it's I was like, oh fuck,
I'm really popping on the spot here. And I was like,
I guess it's the same way as when we walk
home from school. You know the direction, right, And she's
like yeah, and you just haven't memorized. And I was like,
when we're in heaven, you'll just you'll know how to

(49:52):
find me. And she's like, oh yeah, She's like I
get it.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
With those sort of conversation, it's like it's a it
is a reality, the fact that it's part of life is.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
Dying, right, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:05):
And then those questions that come from her is like
where do I how do I find you? Because you're
also as well, you probably think I don't want you
to be helpless in that situation.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
So yeah, it's and then she's like anyway, good night,
and I'm like far out.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
You're just waiting for season two of this conversation.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
You're like, I'm here. Yeah, And you have these little
milestone moments in these conversations where you're like, oh, these
you know, in my head you kind of think that
painting is always just going to be you and this
little child that's always going to be so dependent on
you and the every now and then you have these
moments where you're like, oh, they're growing up so much
more and understanding so much more of the world. And
then you also think, oh, gosh, what's going to be

(50:44):
a time when start to worry and they'll be here
by themselves.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
And I I like, I do a similar thing where
I'm like, Okay, well they are getting older, and then
I also I also feel so much sympathy for them
because of what they've got ahead of them, especially in
those school years they throw absolutely everything at you. And
then she's also trying to understand how the world works,

(51:09):
like how death works, and then like it's going to
be something else next time.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
And they're like I don't want to die, and I'm like,
no one wants to die.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
I remember when I was at that age, I was
just worried about who was going to get my PlayStation after.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
But yet now is the.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
Parent You're getting these questions and you're like you also
kind of think to yourself of the reality of that,
and that's what's obviously made you upset as well, Like
you've probably thought, I don't want you to feel ever
feel alone, and of course, like there's going to be
a situation at some point in the future where this
is a reality, as much as we both don't want
it to be.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Yeah, I think I was thirteen when I was thinking
about death. I'm like, oh, she's seven. I know.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
I suppose that's the reality of like someone passing close
to you.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
We'll bring the conversation forward.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
Yeah, because my kids always talk about when Iggy dies, Squiggy.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
That's going to be soon, right.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
I keep saying that, I know.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
But Macy was like, even squeakies, like, make it quick.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Out of my misery, because I feel like there's gonna
be a long dance. And she was like, Macy was like,
so how does it work if she dies? We just
get another dog? Like do you have to have a dog?

Speaker 3 (52:17):
But like, because we haven't had that situation where it's like, oh,
you know, mate is dead and it's like, okay, well
now we've got to have this conversation of what's going
to happen after.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
But I like, I think for her to ask the
questions like how.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Do we find each other is really mature, and then
for you to have an answer like that is.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
Again on the spot.

Speaker 3 (52:36):
On the spot is probably something she'll take away and
go Okay, Well, even though it's not necessarily explicitly saying,
no matter what the situation, I'm going to be there,
because that's exactly what that answer says to me, you
said it in a way which is practical for her.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
Are we just we're both just like now you're great.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
Now we're all great, Matt, one of our favorite segments,
which we haven't done in a while.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
I'm thinking about this, yes today.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Parenting lies.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yeah, a lot of my kids every day, but we
don't talk about it.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
And you you did the call out in the Facebook
group and it was just like it went Banana, I did.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
And I want to thank Veggimi for bringing this back,
this segment. Of course they've got their new Vegimi kids,
so thank you.

Speaker 2 (53:15):
But let's get into it. Tell me loud.

Speaker 3 (53:25):
We did reach out to the audience or the dotors,
which we love very much.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
And they are a bunch of fucking liars, aren't they?

Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yes, just like shut up. I was reading sorry, I
was reading the first lie, thinking who's going to do
the liar? Sorry? But well said Ash, Yes, I.

Speaker 3 (53:45):
Think a little harmless lie to get through the day
with your kids.

Speaker 1 (53:48):
He's a must first, you go first.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
This is from Jade or jar Da. I don't know.
I told my.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Daughter that TVs have a camera that watches to make
sure kids don't watch you, to.

Speaker 1 (53:58):
Make my kids literally, I'm like, you're watching Bluey, yeah, Bluey,
and if you put on anything else, TV goes off
and they're like, yep, get it. I turned around, get
a glass of water, turn back. They're watching YouTube and
there's these family vloggers that suck. I can't remember the
name of them, but I'm like, yeah, it's Blueing and
they're like, I don't know how it happened.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
I know it's like my kid's argument was, but Bluey's
on YouTube as well.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Shut up.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Next one, Okay, this one is from Claire. Okay, I'm
just not sure if I understand it.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
I do, So you give it to me.

Speaker 1 (54:33):
Okay, give it to you, and then you can explain
to me, because she says, here, the toy they show
me doesn't exist, it's just AI.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
So the thought here is that your kid is might
be potentially watching.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
You, truly confusing for the kid.

Speaker 3 (54:47):
Potentially yeah, potentially watching YouTube or see something on a
screen or whatever. And they're like, oh, I really want
this for my birthday, which is fine, but if it's
like a definite no, you can be like, oh, that'd
be awesome.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
But unfortunately that doesn't exist.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
Because AI has just created this to make it, make
it seem like you want it, so it doesn't exist.

Speaker 2 (55:07):
I saw it. I we're not judging you. I think
it's no.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
I am no. Never, it's clever, Don Claire.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
This is from Brody.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
I told my son his hair would turn into clay
if he didn't have a shower.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
That's actually kind of true.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
I do like a bit of creativity with lies. This
one is like, there's not really like much meaning towards it,
but yeah, your hair turns to clay? Where does that
come from?

Speaker 4 (55:30):
Then?

Speaker 2 (55:30):
What's the repercussions of that?

Speaker 1 (55:33):
Surely he's like, yeah, what, why have I never seen
a child with clay?

Speaker 2 (55:36):
He might have a rational fear of clay, which clever.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
That is clever, Ebony. We've been on the road for
a couple of months and only have one fun kids
spoon in the caravan and they were.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
One.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
We've got kids too, We've got two and we need
to buy more, but we just keep forgetting because the
kids always fired over it. And you're like, if we
just had more spoons. Anyway, she says, they will constantly
fight over it. My husband and told them that the
plain ones are actually Elsa's spoons because her magic made
them silver. Now they ask for Elsa's spoons every morning
with breakfast.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Now that's clever. See that is I love a clever lie.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
All lies are great, but that's like, that's the creativity
is what I love there.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Yeah, because it's got the lie and the purpose and it.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Makes sense because you know, like the silver Elsa.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
That's top tier parenting.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Too good of a lie.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Careful your husband, don't let him go. This is from Leilani.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
Well read you.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
I be practicing.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
Couldn't get my son to eat any fruits. So using
a bit of creativity one day, I asked if he
would like a muscle drink.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
He's obsessed with his muscles. Sounds like Oscar Oscar.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
And April he now drinks and fruits smoothie every day.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Even my girls love it. When I know, I'm like, wow,
those biceps huge. And April's.

Speaker 3 (57:02):
Was like it's like a Batsyne maybe does the thing
where she goes she just squeezes her hands really to like.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Sheran, well done.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
They're huge. But Linda, the last lie that we have
for this segment. My lie relates to a conversation you
had a couple of weeks ago. I have no idea why,
but I was always horrified that my kids would eat
their boogies. Boogies, boogets, that's Blendat's boogets, that's okay, especially
in public. I told them that boogies were actually nose pooh,

(57:36):
all the ways the noses didn't need, just like pooh
from your bum. It's all the food your bum doesn't need.
So I asked them, would you eat the pooh from
your bum? Kids will be like, yeah, what times like,
because your boogies are just knows pooh.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
She just knows. It's kind of true.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
It is true, It is true. Someone sent in a
video of I think it was an athlete, a soccer player.
I think he was.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
His nose and he's just like performance enhancing.

Speaker 1 (58:04):
He's eating it and he's like a thirty.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Five year old man performance enhancing.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Then yeah, he knows pooh, you know, and.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
They like some some athletes draw their own blood and
put it back in.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
He's just like this guns straight back in for performance
for performance.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
And again please we want to try and maybe have.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
Some more live segments because they're great and we want
to thank Veggimit. Of course, Veggimike Kids has the same
amount of vitamin B one, two, three, and nine as
original Veggimite, which are important for brain and nervous system function,
energy release and reduce fatigue.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
I love that because there's nothing easier than your kids
having something that's healthy without you having to.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
Lie about it. Love that.

Speaker 1 (58:41):
Well done, Vegiemke hiding all those would it be one
and B two? Oh yeah, the bananas and pajamas, they're
heighten all the bees.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
Matt.

Speaker 3 (58:48):
We are sadly at the end of this particular episode,
but there will be others.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
Yes, I should, I hope. So this studio we need
to make our money back on If you've enjoyed this episode,
we would love it a couple of reviews, Apple Podcasts,
or on each individual episode on Spotify. You can of
course leave some comments I will reply back most.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
Likely yes, or socials, Instagram, TikTok YouTube. These episodes are
on YouTube lucky you, and also our Facebook group Join
the Conversation will accept you.

Speaker 5 (59:19):
Join the movement, but until then goodbye, Goodbye.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander people's today. This episode was
recorded on Gadigal Land.

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#247 How Will I Find You In Heaven?

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