From the Bleachers: A Real Housewives Game Analysis

Sandra breaks down all the play on the latest episode of RHOC. Is Alexis Bellino’s constant talking about Johnny J good play or is she going to lose her friend contract? Why we are still talking about the paparazzi BS and which player will finally end this storyline for us? There was some amazing 4TRR friendship play this episode by the La Quinta crew, but an honorable mention goes to the Big Bear crew and Tamra Judge specifically ...

Two rooms. Two teams. Two finales. Too many? Despite the lack of traditional play this episode, Sandra manages to hand out most of the generally assigned player awards. She defends her finale fashion play of the game to Margaret Josephs. She wonders at the tennis skills of the security guards who held Danielle Cabral and Jennifer Aydin at bay. She hands out an error to the player who broke 4TRR. She picks a surprise player for MVP....

Sandra and Mandy cover all the plays leading up to and during the “Last Supper” of RHONJ as we know it. We discuss why this season has been such a dud and also why RHONJ has ruined Mandy. We give everyone errors and Least Valuable Player awards and then finish off the episode with 5 straight minutes of ugly crying. Sort of. 

RIP RHONJ. RIP RealHousewivesofBendOregon. RIP Mandy in the pit. RIP Teresa’s fat  F-ing hotdog lips. Father...

Sandra breaks down all the play on the latest episode of RHOC. Is peeing in the bushes and dancing on bars good play for our OC team? Should we be judging Jenn Pedranti for spending money and rookie player Katie Ginella for not knowing how to play golf? And most importantly, who comes out on top when it comes to Katie’s attacks against Heather Dubrow regarding paparazzi phone calls and Instagram tags? 

Instagram: @RealHousewivesofB...

RHONJ Season 14 Episode 5: Sandra and Mandy decide during this week’s episode that winners want the ball, and Teresa doesn’t seem to want the ball! We finally get to break out the apology play rubric and *mostly* agree on the quality of the apologies given. There is lots of “putting it in the middle” play by the  ladies at the Bougie Brunch, leading to finger pointing, face play and quips galore. Plus, Mandy wins our new QuigQuog g...

RHONJ Season 14 Episode 4: Sandra and Mandy make history this week as they create a new game for podcast: Quig Quog! And they also get to the bottom of that age old mystery: Who let the dogs out??? We were delighted by this episode’s smorgasbord of Pampered Pets and Face Plays. We discuss all the important play that happened this episode: some join the fight play, PTCs, IFIs, and relationship play! Plus, we know Jennifer Aydin love...

Join Sandra and Mandy as they cover all the plays from "Shore-ing Up Sides." We've got an amazing double Play of the Game AND Bystander of the Week. Plus: What do Margaret and AFI Top 100 movie Bridge on the River Kwai have in common? Can Sandra have multiple Tear Play in one night? How many buttons can you leave undone at a restaurant with linen tablecloths? And the biggest question of all, what IS Jersey? 

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Sandra and Mandy cover all the play in Season 14 Episode 2 of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sandra talks about Pampered Pet Play and what Teresa’s dog needs to do to step it up to the level of Melissa Gorga’s dog. Mandy teaches us that there’s no such thing as bad Fashion Play and together, we create a hit song about Gia.  Find out who we pick for our Plays of the Game and our MVPs in an episode all about a Celebration of Life par...

Join Sandra and Mandy as they get Not California High on the joy of a new season of play! Rachel starts her sophomore season off with a Messy Fessy party (has anyone seen my electric toothbrush?). We've got our first Tear Play of the season, some decent Injury, Fear, or Illness (IFI) play, and the newly named Dance Mom Play. Sandra comes up with the best naming system for The Husbands EVER (with a nod to Margaret Atwood). Also: Mid...

It’s the RHONJ Eras Tour!!! Join us as we revisit some Hall of Fame plays from past eras of RHONJ and also look forward to Season 14 by analyzing the S14 trailer and play styles of each of our RHONJ players. This episode, Mandy celebrates a new era of her life as she turns 50! (Happy Birthday, Mandy!!!) and she gets a special birthday message from a certain rookie RHOSLC player. This episode we coined some new terms, including: The...

Join Sandra and Mandy as they dish on the top twenty housewives, thanks to Sandra's detailed RSS analysis of ALL FRANCHISES! Who's the real Dork Lord now? Plus: Mandy insults the entire state of New Jersey, Hunting Housewives gets another free plug, and Sandra coins the term "lastability." Come to find out who the number one housewife is, and stick around for the dish on why Miami is absent from our top 20.

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Sandra and Mandy discuss all the news that's fit to clip. We confirm that we are right about EVERYTHING! Not only is the Apology Rubric an important measure of play, but we also get confirmation of Bravo's deep state editing powers. In addition to learning a bit more about how the sausage is made, Sandra and Mandy give potent career advice, and Mandy gives Sandra a fictionalized hero edit.

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Sandra and Mandy dish with Caitlin and Sharon of Real Housewives on Real Housewives all about RHOBH and the upcoming season of RHONJ. We learn about the beauty of the Bravo fan community as they give us the down low on BravoCon, as well as Sharon's OG theory. And in honor of their episode format, so many versus: Producers vs Housewives! Heather Gay vs UGT cast! Sharon vs. the RSS! Caitlin vs. the analog clock! Join us for a relaxed...

Sandra and Mandy discuss The Housewife and the Hustler Part 2. Mandy proclaims Tom Girardi a Dirty F***ing Dude but for some reason Sandra can’t quite land on one side of the fence or the other when it comes to Erika Jayne. We get to pull out our apology play rubric when Erika meets with the victims for the first time. Sandra continues to promote her singing career and rediscovers a 1980s favorite: cat’s cradle! Sandra and Mandy di...

Bonus material until RHONJ starts up! Sandra and Mandy discuss The Housewife and the Hustler Part 1, where we learn that Tom Girardi does not make good choices. Plus: Erika Jayne is not a food truck and the perks of working at Jamba Juice corporate. Mandy provides some long winded and semi-accurate legal explanations (lawyers CAN be certified financial planners - who knew?), and we learn that Sandra is really using the podcast to p...

Brandy Ferner is our guest today as we break down the entire Season 13 of play from our Beverly Hills Housewives. Which Housewives Player compares to Bella in Poor Things? Was Sutton’s “Name ‘Em” scene with Kyle good play or an error? What is happening with Crystal’s play that makes her difficult to “like”? Why do we still enjoy watching Erika despite her lack of empathy for the law firm victims? Which of our hot seats this season ...

Sandra demonstrates her improv chops before she and Mandy get into the game analysis of part three of the RHOBH reunion. They explore Resting Reunion Face, love deposits, Kathy's career as a magician, and . . . relationsheeps? It's a reunion of firsts: first IFI (injury, fear or illness) at a reunion, first intensely emotional salon story, and our first use of the clown car cushions to store human remains. Although Mandy's new mic ...