Why Holiday Socialization Isn’t Effective Dog Training—And What to Do Instead

Is your dog dreading Thanksgiving dinner as much as you are?

In this episode of The Dog Who Asked for More, we talk about what it really means to advocate for your dog during the holidays—especially when guests, noise, and changes in routine can push sensitive or reactive dogs to their limits. Through the stories of Toby and Fitz, you’ll learn why skipping events isn’t failing your dog—it’s respecting their needs through thoughtful training and intentional enrichment.

In this episode:

• Learn how to use enrichment strategies—like frozen lick mats and calm zones—to ease your dog’s stress

• Hear the difference between managing behavior vs. forcing training under pressure

• Discover why saying “no” to socialization can actually support your dog’s long-term training progress

  
  

Press play to explore how to replace guilt with grounded decisions that support your dog’s training, emotional wellbeing, and enrichment needs—especially when life gets loud.

The Dog Who Asked for More Extras:

Get a free copy of Paws, Brains, and Fun Enrichment eBookhttps://tinyurl.com/enrichmenttdwafm

Book a FREE 15-minute call with Em

https://tinyurl.com/tdwafmbooknow

Email [e-mail] to get in touch with Em

Looking to BOOST your pet’s daily meal? Try PetMatRx supplements, use code FITZ20, and save! https://petmatrx.com/?ref=tdwafm

This podcast explores life with dogs and life with pets, focusing on the dog–human bond and what it truly takes to bond with your dog through dog enrichment, behavior guidance, dog reactivity support, reactivity awareness, reactive dogs, reactive dog training, calming reactive dogs, dog training, dog training tips, training rescue dogs, pet training, dog obedience, dog behavior, dog behaviour, dog socialization, dog barking, dog habits, dog health, dog life, dog myths, and positive reinforcement for all dogs — rescue dogs, velcro dogs, anxious dogs, reactive dogs, high-energy dogs, big-feeling dogs, and family pets. Hosted by a canine nutritionist, nutrition coach, dog coach, dog coaching specialist, and retired vet tech, each episode covers dog food, canine enrichment, dog training, dog nutrition, canine nutrition, dog gut health, dog grief, dog products, and science-backed routines that help dogs feel safer, healthier, calmer, and more understood. You’ll discover practical steps, enrichment ideas, behavior strategies, and daily habits to support any dog and create a more confident, connected life with dogs.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Not every dog wants to be part of the holiday chaos, and
honestly, they shouldn't have to.
Be. Welcome to the dog who asked for
more, The podcast helping dog parents who feel stuck and
overwhelmed by their pup finallylet go of the guilt.
Learn to communicate clearly andbuild the bond you've always
dreamed of through a partnershipbased approach that combines

(00:20):
training, nutrition and enrichment instead of chasing
the quick fixes that don't actually work.
In this episode, you'll learn why it's OK to protect your dogs
piece instead of pulling them into chaos, how I knew Fitz
wouldn't thrive at family gatherings and what I do
instead, And one small bull boost to make Thanksgiving less

(00:41):
stressful for you both. Let's talk about Thanksgiving.
And more specifically, let's talk about why my dogs won't be
there. Because for a long time I
thought maybe they had to be. I thought bringing my dogs to
every family gathering was what good pet parents did, that it
was part of socialization or tradition and bonding.

(01:02):
But the truth? It doesn't serve that.
When guests come into my house, Fitz barks at them while they
walk up the stairs, when they sit down in their seats, and
anytime someone gets up to go tothe bathroom and then returns,
he starts all over again, like he completely forgot they were
there. It can be a lot for him, for me
and for the company. It didn't matter how many times

(01:25):
he had met them, if they were friends or family members, it's
always a process. He's gotten so much better over
the last couple of years, but Fitz is the kind of dog that
thrives on predictability and schedule, so any little bump in
his day is anxiety inducing for him.
Here's the thing, it's partiallymy fault because when Fitz was

(01:47):
younger, people didn't visit my apartment that often, so when
they did come over, it was always a big ordeal.
New sense, new energy, differentroutine, and all of that was so
overwhelming for him. We've worked so hard over the
years to help him feel safe in these moments.
We found solutions that work forhim.

(02:09):
Things like gated areas, preppedcalm zones, scent work before
people arrive, or even going outfor a little bit of fetch with
me after a guest arrives so theyhave time to sit down, settle
into the environment and Fitz understands that it's OK and
they're not moving and they won't bother him.
But just because we can manage the situation, it doesn't always

(02:33):
mean that we should. Because here's what I've
learned. My dogs don't need to be part of
every single thing that I do. I'm so lucky.
I have a family that loves to host.
I have the ability to leave Tobyand Fitz at home in peace with
their normal routines, just likeany other day.

(02:54):
And that's the thing, not everyone has that option.
Some folks don't have family nearby, some don't have a safe
space to leave their dog. Some have to bring their dog or
invite the company over because they're traveling, they're
spending the night, or everyone has come to them for the event.
But even then, it doesn't mean that your dog has to be part of

(03:18):
the noise. Sometimes the best thing you can
do is observe your dog. Do they start pacing as the
house gets louder? Are they hiding under the table
or trying to dart out of the room?
Do they stiffen when someone hugs them or crouches to say
hello? You can advocate for your dog by
asking your guests to give them space.

(03:39):
Let them decompress in a quiet room with a box fan or a sound
machine. Give them enrichment items or
long lasting chews while you eat.
Set boundaries with your guests and let your dog opt out.
And if your dog doesn't want to opt in, that's OK too.
They don't have to perform for the holidays.

(04:02):
You don't owe your guests full access to your dog.
You owe your dog peace. You owe your dog safety and
routine. You owe your dog support in the
way they need it, not what looksbest on Instagram.
You're not failing your dog by protecting their peace.

(04:24):
You are advocating for them and that is the win.
This week's Answering the Ask story is about Toby.
For a little dog, he has a lot of attitude and he was kind of
dramatic when I first brought him home.
Toby was extremely fearful of people when I first got him for
obvious reasons, through abuse and being used as a bait dog.

(04:47):
He had a really rough start and so it was very important that I
took things slowly with him because I learned very quickly
when I brought guests over that if they came in the and they
were loud or they made big gestures with their hands or
they were carrying a lot of things in, Toby would bite, no
questions asked, growling, lunging, That was it.

(05:08):
He did this quite a few times and it wasn't until I really
started paying attention to whatwas happening that I learned we
had to do things differently. Over the years I have instructed
people that they don't need to pick Toby up, they don't need to
pet him, they don't need to interact with him, and they need
to let him come to them when he feels safe.

(05:31):
When he likes you, you will definitely know because he will
be at your leg trying to get in your lap.
When he gives you that sign, it's totally fine.
I've had people come over, pick Toby up, swing him around when I
have asked them not to and he's bitten them.
I don't blame him. And most of those people
immediately said that was my fault afterwards.

(05:52):
Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case with every single
guest. Toby is really, really good
about exiting the situation if it's chaotic and staying away
from the people that he doesn't think are going to respect his
boundaries. I have learned that Toby choice
and freedom when guests come over is the best option for

(06:13):
everyone to listen to Toby when he was saying I trust you, but I
don't want to be a part of this.Now.
I honor that Toby is allowed to move around the house freely and
get away from any situations that he might not want to be in.
I make it clear to others he's good where he is and he will ask

(06:33):
you if he wants attention. The quiet ask that Toby now
understands took a long time to get to, and it's taught me a
lot. If he wants to sit it out, he
can. If he wants to join in, he can.
And this lesson taught me to listen more closely to what Toby
was saying with his language, tolisten to what made Toby more

(06:57):
comfortable ever since. All right, let's wrap up this
week with the bowl boost. This one's short, sweet and very
holiday friendly. Pre freeze a stuffed mat or slow
feeder before Thanksgiving Day. That way your dog has something
calming and delicious to enjoy while you're cooking, hosting,

(07:17):
or out of the house. You can use bone broth, kefir,
canned food, or even a little pureed vegetables that are
leftover. Just make sure that everything
is dog safe. Bonus points if you add a bully
stick or any of your other dog'sfavorite chews alongside it.
And if your dog doesn't want food during the holiday chaos,
that's OK. You can after the storm passes

(07:40):
when their nervous system is ready.
You are not a bad pet parent forskipping the party.
You are not failing your dog by saying no thanks to holiday
chaos. If anything, you're showing up
for them in the most powerful way possible by listening,
observing and choosing peace over pressure.

(08:00):
So remember, be kind, spread joy, and keep in mind you don't
have to bring your dog to the party or the party to your dog
to prove that you love them. Thank you for listening to the
dog who asked for more and for giving your dog this time
through your learning. If your dog is bouncing off the
walls, no matter how much you walk them, it can feel like

(08:22):
nothing is ever enough. The truth is, most dogs don't
need more exercise. They need the right kind of
enrichment to settle their brains and their bodies.
That's why I put together a freeenrichment resource packed with
easy, fun ideas that you can tryright away.
You'll find the link in the shownotes.
New episodes drop every Monday and Wednesday.

(08:43):
I'll see you next time.