Why Love Isn’t Enough to Heal a Rescue Dog — They Need Training and Enrichment

What if the dog who needed the most healing was also the one who came to heal you?

In this emotionally raw episode of The Dog Who Asked for More, we revisit the moment I met Toby—an emaciated, reactive bait dog on the brink of being forgotten. What followed was not just a rescue story, but a story of mutual transformation. This is about choosing each other, over and over, and learning what it really means to be safe, seen, and loved.

In this episode:

• ​Discover why emotional safety is more important than obedience when working with rescue dogs
• ​Learn how reactivity, grief, and healing are all part of the deeper dog-human dialogue
• ​Reflect on the one question every dog is quietly asking—and how to answer it, day by day

Press play to hear Toby’s story, and reconnect with what your own dog might be asking for—beyond behavior, beyond training, and straight from the heart.

The Dog Who Asked for More Extras:

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This podcast explores life with dogs and life with pets, focusing on the dog–human bond and what it truly takes to bond with your dog through dog enrichment, behavior guidance, dog reactivity support, reactivity awareness, reactive dogs, reactive dog training, calming reactive dogs, dog training, dog training tips, training rescue dogs, pet training, dog obedience, dog behavior, dog behaviour, dog socialization, dog barking, dog habits, dog health, dog life, dog myths, and positive reinforcement for all dogs — rescue dogs, velcro dogs, anxious dogs, reactive dogs, high-energy dogs, big-feeling dogs, and family pets. Hosted by a canine nutritionist, nutrition coach, dog coach, dog coaching specialist, and retired vet tech, each episode covers dog food, canine enrichment, dog training, dog nutrition, canine nutrition, dog gut health, dog grief, dog products, and science-backed routines that help dogs feel safer, healthier, calmer, and more understood. You’ll discover practical steps, enrichment ideas, behavior strategies, and daily habits to support any dog and create a more confident, connected life with dogs.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
What if the dog who chose you was also the one who came to
heal you? Welcome to the dog who Asked for
more, the podcast helping dog parents who feel stuck and
overwhelmed by their pup finallylet go of the guilt.
Learn to communicate clearly andbuild the bond you've always
dreamed of through a partnershipbased approach that combines
training, nutrition and enrichment instead of chasing

(00:22):
the quick fixes that don't actually work.
Hi, I'm Em, and in this episode you'll learn why every rescue
dog writes it's a different story and how each one changes
us. How Toby taught me to trust
myself again after trauma, griefand guilt, and what long term
commitment really looks like when your dog has opinions,

(00:43):
baggage, and a whole lot of heart.
This week's Answering the Ask isa story about Toby.
If you're new here, Answering the Ask is the moment in each
episode where we slow down and look at what our dogs might be
asking for through their behavior, body language, or just
quiet needs. I adopted Toby 12 years ago on
November 5th, 2013 after walkinginto a shelter to meet a

(01:08):
different dog. I wasn't expecting to find him,
and I wasn't prepared to walk away either.
Toby had been used as a bait dog.
He had a broken jaw, a broken hip, he was emaciated,
terrified, and scheduled for euthanasia.
When I sat down outside his kennel, he didn't move.
He growled, he barked, he snapped and went deeper into to

(01:30):
the back corner. I just stayed there at the
kennel gate, quiet and still, and after about 45 minutes he
slowly made his way over to me and pressed his head into my
hand. That was it.
That was the moment I asked if Icould take him into the quiet
room, and within minutes he curled up in my lap and fell
asleep. He never looked back, and

(01:51):
neither did I Toby didn't ask for more with his voice.
He asked by surviving, By tryingeven after everything he went
through. By walking toward me, trembling
but brave. By curling up in my lap and
releasing A sigh that said please let this be it.
I didn't adopt Toby because I was ready.
I adopted him because I knew deep down I was running out of

(02:13):
time with Cajun, and when Cajun died less than a year later on
July 14th, 2014, it shattered me.
If it hadn't been for Toby, I don't know when I would have
opened my heart to another dog again.
It was still 3 1/2 years before I brought Fitz home, but Toby
was already there, steady, spunky, and stubborn, all in the
ways that I needed. He didn't need a perfect

(02:36):
trainer. He needed someone who would
choose him every single, and I did.
That moment in the quiet room where he finally let himself
rest. It wasn't just a nap.
It was his ask. Please don't hurt me.
Please don't leave me. Please let this be a place I can
stay. And for the last 12 years, I've

(02:57):
done everything I can to answer that ask.
I have had six dogs as an adult.Four of them were rescues, and
each one taught me something totally different.
But Toby, he's been with me the longest, and the lessons have
run the deepest. He came into my life at a time
when I didn't fully trust myself.

(03:17):
Fresh out of divorce, still recovering from brain surgery,
learning to live with disability, carrying guilt I
couldn't name, and trauma I had not processed yet till we didn't
magically fix those things. But he created space for healing
in a way no human ever could have.
He taught me to stop proving my word through chaos, to stop

(03:38):
begging for validation from people who didn't respect my
boundaries. He taught me that rest is not
laziness, that opinionated, sensitive dogs often see us the
most clearly, and when someone trusts you enough to sleep in
your lap, you better earn that trust every single day.
Toby is also a reactive dog. But unlike Fitz, whose

(04:02):
reactivity is rooted in fear andoverstimulation, Toby's
reactivity has always been sharper, more guarded, more bite
first, ask questions later. He's taught me so much about
boundaries, about saying no, about recognizing when a dog
doesn't want to interact, and being OK with that.
He doesn't need everyone to lovehim, and neither do I Toby

(04:25):
doesn't care about going viral. He wants food, space, A warm
blanket, and someone who gets him.
And that someone has always beenme.
This week's homework for humans is very simple.
If you've rescued a dog, whetherrecently or years ago, take a
moment to reflect on what they've taught you.
What's 1 Belief that they challenged one fear that they

(04:49):
softened 1 boundary that they helped you draw.
And if your rescue story hasn't been easy, that's OK.
Remember, the hardest journeys are the most transformative.
And if you want to Share your story or talk about it, you can
always message me at M Under. Score loves dogs on Instagram.
So today we celebrated 12 years with Toby.

(05:10):
We talked about what rescue really means, not just saving a
dog's life, but letting that dogchange yours.
We talked about trust, boundaries, reactivity, grief,
healing, and the quiet power of showing up for each other day
after day. Toby's story isn't perfect, but
it's honest and it's ours. If you're in the thick of it

(05:31):
with your own dog, rescue or not, I want you to remember
this. Time changes things.
Safety changes things. Love changes things, and when
you listen for the ask, you'll start seeing everything
differently. So remember, be kind, spread
joy, and keep in mind the best dogs don't always come with
easy, but they're always, alwaysworth it.

(05:54):
Happy gotcha day Toby, If you'vebeen feeling like no one really
understands what you're going through with your dog, it can
feel really isolating and heavy carrying all that weight by
yourself day after day. That's why I created a free
community, a safe space where you can share the hard, get
support and be surrounded by people who truly get it.
You'll find the link in the shownotes.

(06:16):
Thanks for listening to The Dog who asked for more.
New episodes drop every Monday and Wednesday.
I'll see you next time.