The Nut Farm Podcast

This week on The Nut Farm, we accidentally invent “rusted nuts,” celebrate a huge full-circle education moment, and immediately derail into Pokémon drama.

We recap the Target Pokémon event that promised family fun and delivered scraps, debate whether “kiddism” is a real form of discrimination, rip a few packs, and discuss the very important art of maintaining the qi (chi) of your trade binder.

Then things ta...

We started with salty cakes and rusted bolts and somehow things got worse from there.

This week, we investigate whether childhood turtlenecks are responsible for adult trauma, uncover a senior-living motor scooter crime wave, and discuss what happens when you accidentally flash your husband while he’s on FaceTime with a customer. Spoiler: prep the PR team.

Then Pokémon gets REAL. Two ...

Gretchen and Missy are back on the farm, serving roasted nuts, salty takes, and several personal vendettas. This week, they investigate the psychological chokehold of Pokémon cards, decide Burning Man sounds like sensory hell with better outfits, and relive the heartbreak of stale egg nachos.

Gretchen channels her most supportive baseball-mom energy, Missy discovers that accountability is beautiful—but apparently optional&mda...

Welcome back to The Nut Farm Podcast, where we serve roasted nuts with a side of salty takes to help you embrace the chaos and stay out of the Nut Farm.

This week, Gretchen and Missy somehow travel from psych ward sweatpants and hot crotch buns to marriage, motherhood, sobriety, creativity, religion, racing, Facebook Marketplace negotiations, questionable childhood drive by's—and a rehomed Goldendoodle who may or may not have...

This week on The Nut Farm, we’re once again proving that absolutely no topic is safe from the spiral.

We start with a Pokémon vending machine, 37 ripped packs, zero self-control and children who have officially become card-opening employees. From there, somehow, we make our way through Phoenix Fashion Week, creativity, mental health, OCD, intrusive thoughts, faith, ancient Egypt, Cleopatra, pyramid conspiracies, aliens, Bigfo...

New intro. No show sheet. Absolutely no plan. Welcome back to The Nut Farm.

This week, Gretchen and Missy are flying blind and somehow end up everywhere: debating which childhood movies emotionally damaged us, mourning the loss of Dolly, living vicariously through kids getting the ultimate Diamondbacks experience, and surviving a G Soul Co. launch while dressed for anything except the Arizona heat.

Then things take a turn at Target...

This week on The Nut Farm, we’re showing up slightly swollen, mildly caffeinated, and ready to discuss absolutely nothing in the order it should be discussed.

We kick things off with Sculptra, missing eyebrows, IVs, and the realities of trying to keep your face together as you get older. From there, the farm takes its usual scenic route through Scottsdale Fashion Week, turquoise superstition, weddi...

Gretchen is currently sitting in FIRST PLACE for New York Fashion Week—and yes, she checks the standings multiple times a day! Between surviving their Fox 10 TV debut (and the mandatory 20-minute post-adrenaline crash nap), dodging monsoon chaos, and negotiating dolphin encounters in Mexico, the farmers are back with one of their most honest episodes yet.

00:00 - Monsoon Mayhem & Steve’s Ceiling Drip

13:35 - The Fox...

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy invented the Swiffer in fourth grade and never saw a dime. She also nearly bought every Sanrio FAO Schwarz blind box at the one Target in all of greater Phoenix that carries them, got the 1-in-25 silver chrome cinnamon roll with confetti, and bought the gold Pompompurin on eBay for $55 because she is not leaving it to chance.

The farmers also get into:

• K-pop: Missy is getting into it, Payton danc...

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy told a seven-year-old girl to scram in a Chandler Mall bathroom.  The girl did not scram.  She came closer.  She may have followed them to the parking lot. Gretchen kept asking if she was a ghost.  They are not okay.

The farmers also get into:

• The philosophy of poop: what it is, where it lives, why it’s brown, and whether it only smells when ...

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy is running on no sleep and zero regrets. She and her mom stood outside a Sam’s Club in deep Phoenix at 6am, in a sewage smell, for hours, in hopes of scoring the Pokémon Ascended Heroes exclusive drop. They did not score. Her dad did. At Ace Hardware. While fixing a sprinkler.

The farmers also get into:

• Ken the painter: 70-something, 13 kids, youngest is two, sh...

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen just made her live TV debut for G Soul on CW7, The Daily Mix and she is still running on adrenaline. Missy felt like Kris Jenner watching from the sideline with an imaginary camcorder.

The farmers get into:

- Gretchen’s first on-camera technique: “fuck it, and also I love a good story if it goes wrong”

- The man who followed Missy to her car in the Walmart parking lot to ask if ...

This week on The Nut Farm, Missy is wearing the Billie Eilish Walmart pajama shirt she slept in and thinks she has developed a shellfish allergy all of a sudden. Steve walked into the surprise birthday dinner without the birthday girl (Gretchen) and had to be sent back out.

The farmers get into:

• Microblading: the scalpel, the crackle, and the sound that almost made both of them walk out

• The birthday surprise dinner — the ...

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen (Timmy) and Missy (Bunny) are back with a full load of life updates — and it’s a lot. The farmers get into:

• Anti-car-sick glasses that look like Where’s Waldo and may actually work

• Otis the dog, who peed on Steve’s side of the bed in an act of deliberate dominance

• The pillow situation — it’s more complicated than you think • Eli’s street sale: Pokém...

This week on The Nut Farm, Gretchen and Missy take a tour through thirty years of American chaos — starting with Lorena Bobbitt’s Ginsu knife, stopping at the OJ verdict, swinging past Michael Jackson’s black suitcase and Marilyn Monroe’s suspiciously broken window, and somehow ending at a German man’s Vegas mansion for plus-size women and an eBay Live Pokémon card addiction.

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