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August 25, 2025 11 mins

Have you ever felt like you’ve lost yourself in your marriage? Maybe for years you’ve gone along just to keep the peace, or you’ve shaped your life around your husband’s preferences — until one day you wake up and wonder, “Where am I in all of this?”

This episode is for you.

Today we’re talking about self-differentiation — a big word that simply means knowing who you are, staying grounded in your God-given identity, and making choices before Him, without being consumed by the expectations or emotions of others.

Even in marriage, God calls each of us to stand before Him as individuals. Acts 5:9 reminds us of this truth, and the whole of Scripture affirms it: we are accountable to God for our own thoughts, choices, and obedience.

In this 12-minute episode you’ll learn:

  • Why each of us is accountable to God as individuals (Acts 5:9, Galatians 6:5).

  • How self-differentiation is not selfishness, but obedience (Romans 14:12, Matthew 22:37).

  • Why healthy marriage requires two whole people, not one person disappearing into the other (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10).

You’ll also hear real-life examples of what this looks like in the empty nest season — from rediscovering your passions to navigating differences with your husband around adult children.

💡 Reflection Guide:  to help you take this deeper, I’ve created a free download: “Standing Strong in Christ: A Reflection Guide for Self-Differentiation in Marriage.” Inside you’ll find prayerful questions to help you recognize where you’ve lost yourself and how to begin standing strong in who God made you to be. 

🌿 Coaching with Carrie: If this episode spoke to your heart and you’re ready to stop losing yourself in marriage and rediscover your God-given identity, you are invited to a free discovery call. Together we’ll talk about what’s going on in your life and how coaching can help you find clarity, confidence, and joy again. Book your call using the link below.

Scriptures Mentioned: Acts 5:9 • Galatians 6:5 • Romans 14:12 • Matthew 22:37 • Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

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