May 22, 2024 • 47 mins
Are labels helpful or hurtful? From neurodivergent to alcoholic to witch, labels can be adopted by someone or placed on a person without their consent. Are labels helpful or harmful depending on how they are used?
In this episode of Understanding the Science of You, Graham Skidmore and Sunshine, a Psychic Medium, Soul Healer, Spiritual Advisor, High Priestess, Reiki Master, recovering alcoholic, and Founder of Sunshine Readings, discussed their experiences with labels and identities, grappling with the tension between wanting to belong and not wanting to be defined by labels.
Sunshine shares her personal journey of accepting labels such as witch and alcoholic, discussing the challenges of embracing one's true identity in a society that emphasizes conformity, and the importance of listening to our bodies to gain insight into our emotional states.
Finally, they touched on the importance of self-reflection, embracing challenges, and understanding that people around us may change as we grow and find our path.
What is covered in this episode:- Labels and their impact on self-expression and belonging.
- Embracing non-traditional labels and dealing with judgment from others.
- Navigating identity labels and embracing self-discovery.
- Embracing individuality and nonconformity in a society that values conformity.
- Body sensations as indicators of emotional state.
- Spirituality, identity, and validation.
- Meditation and receiving spiritual information.
- Personal growth and transformation through recognizing and challenging limiting beliefs and patterns.
- Personal growth, self-awareness, and recovery from addictive behaviors.
To learn more about Sunshine, visit sunshinereadings.com, or find her on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, welcome to the inaugural podcast of Understanding the Science of You.
And it's only fitting, and it wasn't planned, that Jennifer Sunshine Romanowski is joining me.
By the way, for the sake of this podcast, do you want to be Jen, Jennifer, Sunshine?
Sunshine, yes, absolutely. All right, groovy. All right. So either way,
I got both of them out there for those that know you by Jen,
(00:22):
those that know you by Sunshine.
You know, we've drawn that connection here. So, somebody who's been with me
throughout my crazy walkabout here over the last six years, plus my prior life,
it's only fitting that you, as I start this next chapter of life,
help kick it off with me as well.
And so, as I take on a new identity, a new set of labels, whatever you want
(00:46):
to call it, I thought that the way that would be a great introduction in understanding
the science of you is starting by understanding different labels.
And the purpose in these conversations is just about helping people to feel
comfortable in their own skin. in.
So essentially that's our conversation today is to be our, our,
(01:08):
I should say, you know, our driving intention behind the conversation today,
today is to be open and vulnerable and real and talk about the ugly,
because that's what people can relate to, to learn from.
And so it's, you know, and so we just want to have a safe space to talk about
the real stuff and how we, you know, and the journey of becoming comfortable in our own skin.
So, you know, that being said, let's see what we can do about,
(01:30):
you know, helping to make some people, you know, feel happy about themselves.
Sound good to you? I love it. I love it. And I'm really excited.
I think, I think this is a, this'll be a really good topic to really to start
and to kick everything off because hopefully we'll talk about some labels today,
you know, we'll resonate with folks. So we'll see.
Yeah, it's definitely, you know, I would be lying if I didn't say that I have
(01:52):
some anxiety, just even acknowledging some different labels about myself,
whether I make them or others is secondary.
They're still coming as a result of stepping out of the comfort zone.
Own, right? So yeah, this is surely going to be very interesting.
So let's just kind of start with like, I'll give you my thoughts on labels and
then I want to get kind of your take on them, right?
So, you know, so I've got an, you know, I've kind of got a love hate challenge
(02:13):
with them because on one hand,
you know, I get very angry and frustrated about labels and people and both having
labels applied to me or, or even trying to reference myself as a label to be, to,
to be relatable because I don't want to be limited.
I want to feel like I'm defined. I don't, don't trying to put me into a box, right?
But on the other hand, right, if I have no labels and I'm totally fluid and
(02:34):
nothing, then it makes it very challenging for me to relate to people,
find a place of belonging, so to speak, a sense of community and other things, not to, not to mention.
I've also found tremendous relief, I'm just going to call it,
right? Because I'll struggle looking for words at times.
And so finding the other labels and just like their definitions and descriptions
and things like that will allow me to understand and adopt new words,
(02:57):
a new vernacular that helps me to articulate what I was feeling but couldn't say.
And so then it's like uber helpful, right? So anyway, so I've always kind of
got this push pull between whether I like them, don't like them,
you know, and anyway, so let me just pause there and say, you know,
what's been your experience?
And how have you kind of gotten at peace with that part?
Yeah, you know, I think, I think there's a lot of folks that will be able to resonate with that.
(03:20):
And I think the big difference of what you're talking about of the like,
or the not like, so to speak, you kind of touched on it, it's when a label is
applied to you, when somebody else gives you that label and tries to indicate you are this,
right, this is you when you haven't selected, chosen, or told them.
And I think a lot of times what happens in those instances is people are often
(03:43):
weaponizing those labels as well, right?
They're giving you the label, you know, and I'm sure we'll get down to some
of these, but you know, autistic, and they're doing it in order to weaponize
it against you, like, oh, you are different.
These are the things and trying to tell you and describe how you are to you,
rather than trying to have that conversation getting to know you.
(04:03):
So I think, you know, I'm not a huge fan of a label that's applied by another individual.
You know, that's just my personal opinion. I think when we are going to,
you know, step into these labels or these personas or these areas of ourselves
and accept them as, you know, part of our identity,
I think the most important and critical piece is that we're choosing what they
(04:26):
are and we're choosing what they mean, right? Not somebody else.
You know, as soon as you started to see that, I immediately wrote it down because
I think that's, I think not just labels, but so many things in life, right?
When things are applied to you, you know, what's called against your will or
against the, or your desires, right?
(04:46):
Versus you choosing them or telling them to be applied to you,
right? It's two very different situations.
But then when it's also weaponized against you, then, then that,
you know, that's like a double whammy, right?
And you go, wait a second here. Hold up.
This doesn't seem fair there's no way of there's no way of getting out of this,
and that you know once you want and once you fall into that weaponization,
(05:08):
of labels let's talk about that because i know that i won't i know that i have been,
subject to the weaponization of labels so let's talk about some controversial
labels maybe not controversial but non-traditional labels that might make people
awkward or uncomfortable when you're you know around cocktail party that you
would apply to yourself self for people to kind of recognize you and relate to you. Yeah.
(05:29):
There, I mean, there's a whole, whole handful of them and I kind of laugh and
chuckle every time because I swear I add a new one, you know, at least once a month.
But I think the very first one that tends to be very controversial is the fact
that I'm a witch, you know, and I consider myself an eclectic witch.
I'm also a psychic medium. I'm a high priestess. I'm a magician.
I'm a Reiki master. I'm a healer. and I consider myself a soul healer.
(05:53):
I'm neurodivergent. I have ADHD.
I'm a recovering alcoholic. And that's a big controversial thing.
Sometimes people will get into a tiff around that one.
I don't know that there's a single label that I would apply to myself that couldn't
raise the hairs on a few folks, depending upon the audience that I was in. Yeah.
(06:17):
Okay. And so that's quite a, so speaking of that, right?
So that gets right into my point of, well, or I guess what I believe,
what I feel like is great about it is you take what works for you.
Right? And you kind of leave the rest. Yeah. You asked the question of like,
how do I, how do I get comfortable with it?
You know? And I'll tell you, it's a, I think the number one thing is I made the choice, right?
(06:42):
I was the one that chose to apply these labels to myself.
And all of them haven't been, you know, they all haven't all been comfortable, you know?
It just, even when I go back, the two probably most controversial is,
you know, labeling myself witch and labeling myself an alcoholic,
you know, and it took me probably two years of looking at my relationship with
(07:04):
alcohol before I was willing to admit that I was an alcoholic and literally
put that label upon myself.
And I will, I will continue, you know, I, there are some, there are some folks
that step into recovery that, you know, will decide to not embrace that term
to describe themselves anymore.
But to me, it's a really huge part of my own, you know, sober journey is accepting that label.
(07:26):
And then, you know, from the witch perspective, this one is a,
this one's a really interesting one because my person, myself actually loves
the thought of keeping it private, right?
There's like a little bit of a secrecy and, you know, kind of like fun with
that secrecy and that, you know, ha ha ha,
(07:47):
like, look at me, I'm a little witch over here, you know, but it was about a
year and a half ago through like meditation and, you know, talking with my,
my own spirit guides and things of that nature where they said,
I'm sorry, you can no longer hide. You have to make it known.
It's part of your journey. That's part of your purpose is to show people that
(08:09):
embracing this path, these beliefs and the spiritual practice actually has a purpose in life.
And it's not something that's trivial or something that should be,
you know, judged as being innately evil.
And I still, you know, even though it's been a year and a half since I've stepped
into that label in the public space,
I still, even just as of two days ago, had somebody in my private messages,
(08:34):
you know, ridiculing me and chastising me.
And then, you know, it flips into this like prove it type of mentality,
show me your true powers, your joke,
you know, and it's just, I think the most important thing with any label that
we're going to choose is to know that the moment we do that,
that means there are other people that have the ability to judge that label,
(09:00):
you know, and you have to be comfortable with allowing the judgment of others to roll off your back.
And I don't care what label it is. There's always going to be someone that is going to judge it.
And you have to be able to let that judgment roll off your back.
You know, I want to take this time to reiterate. And that's what my hope is
with this and my focus with this podcast is a separation.
(09:23):
Because from here, we're not going to talk so much about what those labels are, right?
Because that's not the purpose. The purpose, you know, what we're wanting to
talk about, right, is how to feel comfortable with those labels.
How do you find out whatever labels are right for you?
What are the things, what are the challenges that you face in doing so?
And also, what are the opportunities as well, though, right?
(09:43):
And that's really what this conversation is about, right? It's not about trying
to convert people to think one way or another.
It's the exact opposite, right? This is about how to get, how to help people
experience the freedom of thinking for themselves, right?
So that being, yeah, so that being said, I know you started to kind of talk
about some challenges, you know, and so let's talk about that because it's always
easier said than done, right? Right.
(10:04):
Like it's always like, you know, I know that it's easy for me to,
to puff out the chest and go, I don't care what anybody says.
And, you know, and have that combative masculine type of response.
But the reality is behind the scenes, I'm just like, well, you know,
why, why, why, why are you trying to make me, why are you trying to make me
give me a sad face, man? That's not cool. Right.
(10:24):
How do I navigate, you know, what's the literal, you know, I think the first
thing is, you know, I've talked about you being the individual that chooses.
And I think before you even understand how to navigate the judgment or the hate, let's be real.
Sometimes that judgment comes with a big old backsplash of hate behind it.
(10:44):
You know, you have to make sure that you truly are comfortable with whatever
it is that you're labeling yourself.
And so to me, one of the biggest practices that I've had, you know,
in my own recovery is being really, really comfortable with how my body talks to me.
You know, and understanding the somatic responses that my body is having,
(11:05):
you know, when we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations,
or if I were to try to adopt a label that wasn't really truly aligned,
you know, like, let's say I wanted to call myself a, I don't know why this popped
into my head, a pickup artist, you know, I'm great at influence and persuasion.
Like I'm going to just adopt this, you know, my body, even just thinking of
(11:26):
that right now, I get like a little little bit nauseous and uncomfortable.
Like I'm not a big fan of, right? And so learning how to listen to your body
to ensure that what you're choosing to label yourself or identify yourself with,
I think is a really, really big first step.
Because when we do that, the judgment or the hate or whatever else comes our way, right?
(11:50):
Almost has like our body almost has its own kind of like protective barrier
to not allowing it to like, we have this place that we can go that says, no, this is true for me.
This is right for me. This feels good for me. And what you're saying or how
you're projecting your judgment or your hate doesn't resonate.
Right. But if you don't, if you don't go through this, like this exercise,
(12:14):
and for some people, you know, I told you accepting the identity of the witch
and like using it in a public space was probably a year long journey, right.
Of me talking with like back and forth with my guides. Are you really sure?
And testing little things and seeing how people responded.
And, and, you know, it was always, I felt okay with it, but it was when I put
(12:38):
it into these public spaces that this discomfort would happen.
And that's, that was the key was recognizing that it was truly the other individual's
discomfort I was feeling, not the discomfort with the decision of myself, right?
Other people were uncomfortable with me referring to myself as such.
(13:01):
Other people were uncomfortable seeing this in, you know, their public space
or on their Facebook feed because my name literally reflects that now, you know, so to speak.
And so you have to be really confident that the labels that you are choosing to accept.
Are labels that you, you believe ring true, right?
(13:23):
And if, if that's not the case, you know, I'm, I'm just, I'm getting these like
pictures in my head of why, why I think some teenagers and some younger individuals
really struggle is because the years between the ages of like,
I think it's like 12 until about 17 are intended for you to try a lot of hats on, right?
(13:46):
To step into a lot of different identities and to like test
and to see what feels right and what doesn't and the unfortunate
truth it's also probably the most critical time for
our peers right and so it's
really easy to ignore that true somatic response because someone else is trying
to override it for you you know you touched on some quite a few times there
(14:11):
and i want to back up the bust in a second in here to earlier in your journey.
But while we're talking about this, I want to first do a plug because for both,
can I say where you worked at by the way? Is that cool?
So I want to plug for both Quicken Loans, now Rocket Mortgage and both Ford
Direct because to your point, look, in both cases, I knew you in the corporate
(14:34):
world and I saw you come in as your different self.
And in some cases that was simply different colored hair. In other cases that
was different colored hair and in tattoo show, right? That were definitely,
that were definitely non-traditional.
So, so A, kudos to both of those places for allowing an environment for it to
really be cool, for it to be cool for people to genuinely be themselves.
And the other thing that I will tell you is, is, you know, watching and observing
(14:56):
various marketing data, things like that.
When I look around a place and if I don't see, you know, if I don't see a pink
hair or I don't see, you know, a nonconformist, you know, amongst there,
then I know everyone's thinking the same, right?
The quote unquote weirdos is where a lot of the free thinking happens.
So you need to, you know, every company needs a handful of them.
So anyway, so I just, you know, it's important to understand as well that even
(15:18):
in large companies like that, your identity, what you're talking about is accepted, right? Right.
And so a lot of the uncomfortableness was fears that you were kind of placing
on yourself from others what was out there, more so than necessarily how you would be received.
And, you know, and that's and I think that's a huge point that I just wanted
to give you a chance to kind of get into.
(15:39):
No, I mean, our our society and I'll say, you know, here we're in America.
Right. There might be some cultures that are don't, you know,
agree with this, but our society literally is built for conformity.
Right? We, we, you know, we're little tiny children.
And then around the age of four or five, we're put into daycare.
(16:00):
We're in a group of, of, of, you know, students or folks were taught in the same fashion.
If we don't learn in the same way, we're ostracized from that original group
and literally put into another group that's supposed to learn in the same fashion.
And so like we, we just, our society is like, Hey, here's a box.
You should get comfortable in this box. this is what
(16:23):
you should be by the way after high school it's
college i mean there's so many prescribed paths
that it's really hard for us to
i'll be 45 this year and so i just go back and i look at how hard it was to
be myself as a teenager right because of this conformity and my early 20s because
(16:46):
of this like this literal like conformity of like here or here is what you're supposed to be doing.
Right. And I just, it never felt right to me. And so I was, you know,
very blessed that I found, you know, environments that allowed me to be my strange and unusual self.
And, you know, frankly, I'm blessed that even though I succumbed to a lot of that conformity,
(17:11):
there was still a spark within me that knew that me being different was not
only okay, but it was something to be celebrated.
And even though I might not have done that in a public setting in the past,
I never allowed myself to shame myself for it. I may have been shamed by others.
(17:35):
I may have had others apply that, what are you doing?
You're a weirdo. You're crazy, all that kind of stuff. But I never,
like, that's where I said to me, even that witch title, there was this like
thrill of keeping it secret, right?
Because that has been the most shame that's been applied to me over the course of the many years.
(17:55):
But yeah, no, I myself never allowed myself to fall into, you know,
patterns of shaming or guilting myself for a label or a choice or a decision
or a weirdness that I had.
And even to this day, I have plenty of people that sit down in front of me,
clients and folks that I work with that, oh, I'm going to say something weird.
What I'm about to say is so strange.
(18:16):
And I go for it because there really isn't. I have zero judgment on weird and strange.
To me, that's what makes life worth living is the weird and strange.
The conformity stuff is, well, yeah. Yeah.
Well, it seems like there's no doubt. It seems like the tides are changing and
(18:37):
the weird and the strange seems to be rolling in pretty quickly compared to,
you know, let's say the little, if you look at it, the pace of the last few decades.
So I want to get kind of literal here for a second on, on, on the feels, right?
Because I know like when I've read things and I listen to people and they'll
be like, oh yeah, you know, I felt this and you'll know.
(18:58):
And you're like, Like, I'm like, no, I don't know. If I knew I wouldn't be listening
to you trying to find out what it means to know I'd be feeling it and I'd be doing it. Right.
So what, you know, so like help people to understand, how did you know when
you talk about it felt right. Right.
Like what didn't, how do you know, like literally the, the, the feeling inside
of when something doesn't feel right to you versus when it does feel right and
(19:21):
how you kind of, you know, I guess let's talk a little bit about that,
how, how that served you early on in your life, how you kind of muffled it.
Right. And then how it's made its way back to being much more of a guidepost
for you now and you trust it.
Yeah. I can't go into any of those conversations without referencing once again
that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
(19:42):
And I have been, when I go back and look, I've been drinking since the age of eight.
You know, and I'm not talking about every night with a six pack is an eight year old, right.
But I mean, I have a lot of memories of being around that age,
literally seeking out half finished glasses of, you know, rum and Cokes,
my father, you know, wouldn't finish.
(20:03):
And, you know, I've looked back a lot at that. And a lot of that was to numb, right.
The alcohol was to numb these feelings, food, I've used food to numb feelings
for, you know, many, many, many years, work,
to numb feelings, right, to distract the mental thought process and give you
(20:25):
something that is productive to be, you know, spending your energy in.
And so I've, I've done a lot of these patterns, you know, say I'm a recovering
alcoholic, workaholic, perfectionist, and control freak, a lot of these patterns
to numb that these feelings and these sensations.
And so it wasn't until I got onto the other side of recovery and started to
(20:46):
really be willing to feel.
And what I mean by feeling, you know, we can go ahead and, you know,
anybody that's listening, you can pull up a literally look for like an emotional wheel.
Like you can type in Google emotion wheel, and it'll show you like a list of
literal emotion words to describe emotion.
And that's one piece of it. It's one component. But when I'm talking about feeling,
(21:08):
I am referencing the feeling in In our actual body, right?
And so think about all of the times there's a lot of folks, you know,
you might walk into a room, you might walk into a new place,
you may meet a new person and you'll be like, they've got a good vibe.
They felt okay. Or this building feels weird and creepy. Like our body is a
barometer. It is a literal barometer.
(21:30):
You know, you know, our aura extends about eight feet out from us.
So any place that we walk into, go experience, even a thought that we may have
can give us a literal body bleed sensation, right?
The challenge is so many of us have done exactly what I was doing through most of their life.
They found some other way to numb those sensations through alcohol,
(21:53):
drugs, food, sex, you know, chaos, drama.
Drama is a really huge one. I've had a couple of conversations with folks lately
where people will literally be in drama cycles to avoid and ignore what they
actually truly are feeling and witnessing.
And so our body will be what resonates, you know, and this can feel like you
(22:15):
could feel sick, like literal physically sick, nauseous, uncomfortable,
heaviness, tightness in chest, poor digestion.
Slow digestion, or you could literally feel an an energetic,
you know, shift and change.
I feel more energy. I've been able to sleep better, anything of that nature.
And so when I talk about feeling, it's literally looking inwards to the body
(22:39):
itself and asking the body, how is it feeling?
And I don't mean that emotion word. I mean, the literal physical sensation in the body, right?
That to me is one of the biggest indications. And And, you know,
that somatic response of a tightness in the chest, right,
or like that sickness that you'll kind of feel like your whole stomach kind
(23:01):
of like clenches in or even this feeling, you know, how it shows up for me sometimes
with stuff is like I will literally feel this.
Something is hard to do, right? Like if I'm supposed to go out this afternoon
or I'm supposed to meet someone for coffee or something of that nature,
and I'm like, oh my God, I can't even get up. Oh, the day.
Oh, oh. Like that even alone is the body's way of showing that there's something
(23:26):
not aligned with the direction that you're going.
Yeah. The body is the number one truth teller.
It's funny as you're sitting there talking about those things, I was like,
all right, check, check check yeah check been
there that one too yep check and and
into your point right like you know i didn't know
my at that time i didn't know about myself as sensitive you're picking
(23:47):
up on you know the energies of others and things of that nature and so all of
those other ways of dealing with it right and then you know it's not like we
all sit around talking which is again part of the reason this podcast because
we don't all sit around talking about how we're actually feeling and wondering
does everybody feel this way does everybody go through this stuff what's normal right?
Like we all kind of have our thing with, or at least, you know,
(24:08):
I feel like I just, I had to realize that I actually don't know how everybody
else feels. I don't know if everybody else goes through this. Right.
And so that's part of, and what I've learned is through these more open and
vulnerable conversations that, you know, that there is a lot more people that go through it. Right.
And it's now, it may not be the exact same situation, but the emotion behind the stuff, right.
(24:28):
Of what, of what is experienced, you know, is, is definitely there. And you're right.
And it looked back and I had to learn how to understand the difference between
when is my stomach hurting because I just ate some bad food and when is my stomach
hurting because it's telling me that I'm not being true to myself right now, right?
Is this nauseousness, again, because why am I feeling nauseous?
(24:52):
And most of the times it was because I had to learn that it's because I'm holding
something and I should be saying, right? I'm not being true to myself. I'm not being genuine.
And, you know, and those, again, these are all common things.
I just take some Tums and yeah, an event.
And of course I do, I took plenty of pills to make the feels go away.
Cause I didn't know what they were. Right. So yeah, you can override the body talking to you.
Right. There's, there's ways, you know what I mean? So turning it off,
(25:14):
it's not, you know, my challenges, I just didn't really come with a dimmer switch.
Right. For me, it was either on or off as far as I kind of knew.
And so when you're talking about then what feels right, I guess I would kind
of add to that to just say, because this is right where, is then also what happens after that, right?
Because it's one thing to say, oh, you know what? I read this,
(25:35):
and that seems like me, so I'm going to identify with this, and I'm going to
kind of start to adopt that label, and I'm going to kind of try on those clothes and see how it feels.
And then there's the watching to see how everything else happens around you.
Now, you know, I don't want to get caught up in trying to sit in and trying
to say, now watch people look for all kinds of reasons and everything that happens to you.
(25:59):
And there's information that's, you know, has significant life meaning.
No, stuff that happens to sometimes just information and everything significant
meaning behind the stuff that happens to us. Right.
And so but how would you tell people then to look at what type of cues to look
for to say the universe is supporting me based on these clothes that I'm starting to wear?
So that's kind of a sign that I'm in line. Right. Some people may say look for
(26:21):
synchronicities. Right. What would you kind of say?
You know, the synchronicities can be really good. You'll also watch like the
moment you start to adopt, you know, and you step into a label that feels good.
You'll often start to watch the universe kind of shift in a line towards that.
So you might start to see more folks that are like, oh, yeah,
actually, I, you know, I'm neurodivergent, too. Oh, actually, I'm a witch.
(26:45):
Oh, you know, so you're going to start to see some of that validation.
But on the flip side, you're going to start to see some folks challenging it as well.
And that's kind of the universe's way of saying, like, hey, man, you took on an identity.
Like, are you, you know, are you sure? Like, are you sure?
And it's not it won't happen forever. You know, like I said,
the gentleman that challenged me just here a couple of days ago,
(27:07):
I probably haven't had someone do that kind of work with me,
I don't know, probably about a year,
you know, but it just so happens that I'm about to venture out and do some changes within my own business.
And so like, of course, someone's going to pop up and challenge my own,
you know, confidence in myself, you know, like that.
The universe is able to deliver both really beautiful lessons,
(27:32):
like these people aligning towards you again, you finding new paths,
new opportunities, new stores.
I mean, I can't tell you, I don't know if I've ever shared this story with you,
but I remember in my 20s, I had started to research and go down the path of
trying to research search more magical practices aligned to like the golden
(27:54):
dawn and Aleister Crowley and some of these really old, old magicians.
And I could never find anything.
I couldn't find the right books. I go into like, you know, bookstores,
they wouldn't have anything present there.
And I just couldn't. And so I, I like dismissed it and, and, you know, left it.
And it's only been now on the other side of recovery as I stepped back into
(28:18):
my spirituality that they just keep flooding to me, right?
I'll have a book. Oh, have you ever read this before?
Would you like to read it? And I'm like, oh my God, this is a book that I was
literally looking for 15, 20 years ago, right?
And so you'll watch these synchronicities, you'll watch these things kind of
pop up, people come in, situations come in.
You may even see some things around like songs,
(28:41):
movies, music, all to validate that you've
chosen maybe the right path the right label but the
moment you also have that questioning and challenging happening it's
validation as well right when you start to
watch someone and and frankly like if you take any more
controversial type of labels you know if
the folks that are listening decide to go down the path and take something that's
(29:02):
pretty controversial what you're going to find is those folks that are challenging
you are actually meant to exit the life right That's like the universe's way
of starting to show you that these are not the people aligned with that path,
with that next step, that next phase.
So, yeah, the feelings are one thing. I think folks are going to get synchronicities in another way.
(29:24):
And you're just going to start to see more validation on both sides as well, right?
Where more things are aligning to take you down that path and more things are challenging you.
Because the reality is, as much as we may want a high vibration life,
we might want a life filled with peace and love and happiness and joy.
(29:45):
Boy, there are other people out there very often around us that are struggling
with that and would much prefer to have you down on their level.
You know, misery loves company is the statement.
So let's talk about a different level here.
So it's always easy to have these conversations that are in hindsight, right?
(30:07):
When you have the ability to experience and everything to prove stuff out.
So let's take this back to before, like earlier on in your life, right?
You talked about feeling and what feels right and taking the time to be present
and listen. And then you also use a term, meditate.
And I want to talk about that for a quick second because while,
(30:27):
yes, there's very specific disciplines of meditation or teachings within it.
And I think that sometimes that's what people think, that that's what you have
to do in order to be meditative or be thoughtful or to be present.
It has to be something very structured like that.
But for the purpose of this conversation and when we think about meditation
(30:50):
and being able to be present and listen to yourself,
what's a more simplified, distilled down version for somebody who doesn't want
to think about themselves in a meditation room, meditating?
I mean, the way I've always described meditation is meditation is awareness of thought.
That's all that it is. And another way to look at it is going to be mindfulness,
(31:12):
like being very mindful where your thoughts are and where they're not.
And so for some people, if we were to go down and really talk about folks that
are on this enlightened path,
you might get into these conversations around meditation is clearing of thoughts
and you're just able to sit at peace and be with no thought for an hour. Right.
(31:32):
And yeah, that's lovely and really wonderful.
And that would be an amazing place to get to. But it's not realistic for most people.
Right. And there's a lot of people that I've talked to that they they they stop
going down the path of trying to meditate because they can't get this silent silence of mind.
Right. They just can't get to it. And so they think that they they're not good
(31:56):
at meditating. And so I always say all meditation is, it's just the awareness
of thought, recognizing, oh, that's interesting.
I'm wondering why this thought's coming up, but not right now.
We'll go ahead and revisit that later, right? And allowing those thoughts to just come and go.
Maybe there's one that you sit with a little bit longer.
Maybe there's one, you know, for example, I said, you know, through meditating
(32:17):
and talking with my guides when I was told that I actually needed to embrace
the title of the witch, like that came through. I literally,
you know, the meditation is I was dancing.
I had music on and I was just in my living room and I was just dancing and I
was just allowing my mind to just enjoy the music.
And it was, you know, it wasn't even in a lyric at that particular point.
(32:41):
It was this kind of download of knowing that just came through.
And I said, that's interesting. I said, what do you mean?
And that's when my guides responded with, you have to embrace this title. It's part of your path.
It's part of what you're meant to do in this next phase of your life.
And so, yeah, it's when we're conscious of our mind and more aware of it,
(33:05):
you may find that through that meditative state or this awareness that you get
information beyond just your thoughts.
So, and so receiving information and there's a time, right?
So I think you would also have experienced that we may have received the same
information many times in our, but there just comes at one time when it's the,
(33:29):
the, the, the intersection of the information coming through and our ability
to hear it the way that it needs to be heard. Right.
And so I know for me, I had a point in my life where I finally said,
all right, this is, this is crap.
There's no way that the human body is just designed all of a sudden,
just be on pills and feel like, and feel horrible.
(33:51):
Right. Like there, there's just no way that this is as good as it gets and that
this is what we're meant to be. And on the other hand, right.
Don't get me wrong. Taking a pill, you know, to make yourself feel better is a nice thing.
And then the other side of the coin was like the, oh, well, it's just because
you don't have a healthy body.
And so other things are going wrong with you, for example, right?
Like I got, so I've gone down a path where glasses, okay.
(34:13):
So Eastern medicine says that me needing glasses is due to, you know, some, a challenge.
I can't remember, but so pleasing my, like the liver and other,
you know, just the body's ability to work together as it should properly.
So therefore the body in itself isn't healthy enough.
And so therefore the eyes are just a symptom of that, right?
Of it's just telling that to me. So I'm like, all right, cool.
(34:35):
If that's going to be the case, I'm tired of feeling like I'm the one that's broken.
I'm going to get healthy as can be and see if my eyesight any better. Right.
And so, yeah, I'm saying this on camera and, you know, but like that that's,
and then working with my friends that are Eastern practitioners to say,
Hey, look, walk me through this guys.
Right. Because you guys believe that we can do these things.
I want to believe that I can make myself feel better, but yet I don't look around
(34:57):
and see all of these examples of all of this stuff happening necessarily.
And again, that could be the difference between Western culture and Eastern
otherwise either, but either way, the point is, I don't see it.
And so I want to see more of it. I want to believe I'm willing to put in the
effort. So somebody helped me do it.
And so that's when I got to that point. And I started to then understand myself
in a very different way, right?
I started to learn and listen to my body and started to be open to it.
(35:18):
And it was, and it wasn't even trying to get to it from that direction.
So So I just got, I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
What was your, I guess, transition point or maybe your first transition point,
except you lived in Maine, where you were younger, you didn't know what you
were feeling. You just knew that you were tired to kind of feel in a different way.
And you started recognizing that your body was guiding you to feel other ways.
(35:43):
And that got your attention. Yeah, no, it did.
And so, you know, the interesting thing is I don't think, I think,
and we go back to that whole statement that I said, this conformity,
this train, this like what we just get on and we just start going and going
and going and never take a pause or a stop.
And, you know, I was talking with a friend earlier today and we were talking
about like retreats and things of that nature.
(36:04):
And I think, you know, I think it's really important that we always have moments
within our lives that we stop what we typically are doing, like what we get
off of that train and just stop and look around and take notice.
And so for me, the time that became so, so intensely transformative for me,
you know, in a number of different ways, right?
(36:27):
You know, our past life together, we both worked for Quicken Loans,
now Rafit Mortgage. And.
I had to, towards the latter part of my time there in that career,
I had to take a leave of absence. My father was really sick.
And so I took this leave of absence.
And so for two and a half months, I was around the medical field,
tending to my father, my mother, helping to care for, which gives you a lot
(36:50):
of time to start thinking about,
you know, and forces you, let's be real, when you're facing mortality in the
face, right, by a loved one about to cross over, you're being told,
you start to like, look at life differently, you start to question it,
You start to challenge it. You start to wonder.
And, you know, I, I just, at that particular point, I had a marriage that was,
(37:10):
you know, had dissolved.
One of the things in that marriage that my ex-husband had told me was that I
was too involved with my work and didn't have enough time for him in the relationship.
And so I'm also watching my father, like on his deathbed and the way that he
was kind of, you know, I was mirroring this workaholism of his, right.
(37:31):
And And, you know, that leave of absence and going back into the office when
it ended and feeling how intense the energetic was in my body at that point,
like it was a real eye opener of this is not the right place for me.
This isn't where I'm supposed to be.
My whole nervous system went on like this heightened, you know,
(37:56):
for lack of a better way to describe it, defense, right?
It felt like the moment I stepped back into this corporate environment at that
point that every bit of me wanted to be on a defense, that it needed to fight,
that it needed to pull up armor.
And I was like, God, is this the way I want to wake up and show up in life every day?
(38:19):
Is this okay?
And the answer was no, it's not. not, you know, and the moment that happened,
all of these blinders started to come down and I started to see,
you know, some of this, the toxic projections that I was putting onto the environment around me.
(38:40):
And it was just at that point, it wasn't just them. Like it wasn't just the
environment and the folks that
I worked with, but it was who I was when I stepped into that environment.
And that was the workaholic, the perfectionist, the control freak,
and the alcoholic, right?
And it was at that particular time, it would have been in 2017.
The end of 2017, that I started to like take a step back and really,
(39:03):
really question for the first time, whether or not that train of,
was what I really wanted to be on. Wow. Well, that's very vulnerable.
And I think a lot of people can relate to those feelings when we were able to
take the time to stop and be present and listen.
(39:25):
And sometimes that can be just doing it when you're brushing your teeth, getting ready, right?
Like sometimes, let's be real. Life happens. So we don't all have time to just
go sit in a room for a while, right?
You got to find those little moments to just be very present for two minutes at a time.
Right? And things like that. So unfortunately, we're starting to,
you know, having to wind it down. And I hate to do that at the end of such a beautiful story.
(39:48):
So I do want to give you the opportunity.
I'm going to bring up some points. I want to give the listeners an opportunity
to understand you and how to reach out to you as well, if this stuff relates.
So is there any, before we get into you and what you do, are there any last
minute words of wisdom or things that didn't come up that you would want to
share with the listeners?
You know, I think, I actually think I think it's like a really beautiful point
(40:12):
to kind of like wrap because the sentiment there, we started this talking about labels, right?
We started talking about labels, some of the importance of labels,
some of the challenges of it.
And at the end of the day, the biggest thing that I recognized and realized
is I had to give enough time to myself to be able to step off of that train,
as I said, just for a moment.
(40:33):
You know to be able to
look around and recognize that these labels other
people had put on me right the
the like party girl that loved to drink you know that was socially all of these
other labels weren't the labels that i actually wanted they weren't the labels
that made me feel good they weren't the labels that like nourished my soul and
(40:57):
made me feel as though they were relevant of it to a purpose that I had here in life.
And so, you know, that's the, to me is probably the biggest thing to state,
you know, for anybody that is listening and you're hearing any of this for the
first time, and maybe you had that somatic, you know, response,
maybe you had this, this feeling of like, oh my God, I totally get that.
Like, you know, just give yourself a second to pause, you know,
(41:21):
and it doesn't have to be two and a half months, right?
It might be two minutes while you're brushing your teeth, as Graham said,
but just give yourself that moment to pause and truly ask yourself.
Are you happy with the way life is?
Are you happy with it? Are you fulfilled?
You know, simple question, not necessarily easy to answer that.
(41:43):
That one takes a different type of look in the mirror.
Yeah. And so, you know, and I would say when you're wanting to learn from somebody,
right, you want to learn from somebody who's looked in the mirror.
You want to have somebody who's had experiential knowledge.
So based on what you just said, and I want to recap what you talked about here
and in giving you credit for your experiential knowledge and for the listeners
(42:05):
to relate to as well, which we said, look, if you're going to adopt these things, here's kind of.
And here's the things to look out for and to be prepared, to be prepared is
number one, it should feel real to you, right?
It should feel like you're willing to, you're comfortable kind of getting made
fun of being called that, right?
For lack of a better way of thinking about it, but there's just that level of certainty, right?
(42:25):
And expect to be challenged for that matter, right? If something is important
and it's ingrained enough to you, look, you know, we're here to learn, right?
And so the universe is going to provide you those opportunities to learn and
ingrain yourself, right? And so the universe kind of says, hey,
if you're not willing to believe in yourself, how can you ask me to believe in you, right?
So show me this is who you are and I'm going to support you.
(42:45):
And I think that that's an important part too, is to not to view those things,
not to view headwinds as negativity, not to view challenges as negativity, right?
To understand them as being as actually positive KPIs that let you know you're on the right track.
And reinforcements. That's right, reinforcements.
And then the last thing is just also understand that sometimes the indicators
(43:07):
that you're are on the right track is that your life around you is kind of changing.
Those that are around you that may be in it, may not be in it, right?
People that were around different perspectives will find their way to not be around anymore.
And so if judging people leaving or otherwise as the only thing,
then that's a challenge.
(43:27):
So what I would say is if people are leaving your life and everything else in
your life is going to shit as well, pardon my language, then yeah,
okay, there's probably something else going on there that requires some deeper reflection.
Perfection however if people have left your life but
yet you like you wake up feeling better every morning you
feel more clarity you feel more comfortable in your
own skin you feel good walking out the door okay then
(43:47):
you then then that's indicators that yeah you're that you know you should feel
good about the path that you're on etc right so if this type of experiential
knowledge and understanding is you know has been helpful at all sunshine what
is exactly kind of that you do and how might what you do be able to help our
listeners that, you know, I've enjoyed our conversation.
(44:08):
Yeah. You know, you know,
There's a lot of business folks that would say I should have a very clear and
succinct pitch line right there to tell you.
And some of that in my own journey right now is being defined.
I will tell you the people that I am looking to help the most are individuals
that truly know and understand that they identify as a witch and that they are
(44:31):
looking to change their life.
They want to recover from this life.
They want to get off that train and they want to step into something that they
have more more empowerment in, more hope in, more optimism.
And I say recovery, I'm a recovering alcoholic, workaholic, perfectionist and control freak.
But I say that anybody that is suffering from kind of the addiction to lower vibration.
(44:54):
So this can be drug, sex, alcohol, violence, shopping, food,
sugar, drama, and chaos.
Those are real two big ones that I watch people cycle in and out of.
And so if you are tired of living a life that just does not feel aligned line
to where you're meant to go next, that's who I want to reach out.
We'll help you recover from the life that you once lived and help you walk into
(45:16):
the life that you're meant to live. And how do you want them to reach out to you?
Yeah, you can find me. My favorite way is sunshine at sunshinereadings.com.
That's my email address.
I sit on the other side of it. It's my favorite way for folks to find me.
You can also look on Facebook, Instagram for Sunshine Readings and visit the website too,
sunshine reading stuff yeah all right well i can't thank you enough for being
(45:40):
open being vulnerable right sharing the ugly you know i hope that people were
able to you know hey bring a smile a laugh relatability anything you know as
well i know i always get stuff out of our conversations.
And so i know we'll be on here again and so i just want to a thank you again
for showing up and then secondly i know you're going to as well as starting
(46:01):
your next chapter of life so you know straight sending you much,
much strength and support, my friend,
you know, for the universe to support you and get your footing as well.
I adore being here. Thank you for having me, Graham. All right. Take care, everybody.
Well, welcome to the inaugural podcast of Understanding the Science of You.
And it's only fitting, and it wasn't planned, that Jennifer Sunshine Romanowski is joining me.
By the way, for the sake of this podcast, do you want to be Jen, Jennifer, Sunshine?
Sunshine, yes, absolutely. All right, groovy. All right. So either way,
I got both of them out there for those that know you by Jen,
(00:22):
those that know you by Sunshine.
You know, we've drawn that connection here. So, somebody who's been with me
throughout my crazy walkabout here over the last six years, plus my prior life,
it's only fitting that you, as I start this next chapter of life,
help kick it off with me as well.
And so, as I take on a new identity, a new set of labels, whatever you want
(00:46):
to call it, I thought that the way that would be a great introduction in understanding
the science of you is starting by understanding different labels.
And the purpose in these conversations is just about helping people to feel
comfortable in their own skin. in.
So essentially that's our conversation today is to be our, our,
(01:08):
I should say, you know, our driving intention behind the conversation today,
today is to be open and vulnerable and real and talk about the ugly,
because that's what people can relate to, to learn from.
And so it's, you know, and so we just want to have a safe space to talk about
the real stuff and how we, you know, and the journey of becoming comfortable in our own skin.
So, you know, that being said, let's see what we can do about,
(01:30):
you know, helping to make some people, you know, feel happy about themselves.
Sound good to you? I love it. I love it. And I'm really excited.
I think, I think this is a, this'll be a really good topic to really to start
and to kick everything off because hopefully we'll talk about some labels today,
you know, we'll resonate with folks. So we'll see.
Yeah, it's definitely, you know, I would be lying if I didn't say that I have
(01:52):
some anxiety, just even acknowledging some different labels about myself,
whether I make them or others is secondary.
They're still coming as a result of stepping out of the comfort zone.
Own, right? So yeah, this is surely going to be very interesting.
So let's just kind of start with like, I'll give you my thoughts on labels and
then I want to get kind of your take on them, right?
So, you know, so I've got an, you know, I've kind of got a love hate challenge
(02:13):
with them because on one hand,
you know, I get very angry and frustrated about labels and people and both having
labels applied to me or, or even trying to reference myself as a label to be, to,
to be relatable because I don't want to be limited.
I want to feel like I'm defined. I don't, don't trying to put me into a box, right?
But on the other hand, right, if I have no labels and I'm totally fluid and
(02:34):
nothing, then it makes it very challenging for me to relate to people,
find a place of belonging, so to speak, a sense of community and other things, not to, not to mention.
I've also found tremendous relief, I'm just going to call it,
right? Because I'll struggle looking for words at times.
And so finding the other labels and just like their definitions and descriptions
and things like that will allow me to understand and adopt new words,
(02:57):
a new vernacular that helps me to articulate what I was feeling but couldn't say.
And so then it's like uber helpful, right? So anyway, so I've always kind of
got this push pull between whether I like them, don't like them,
you know, and anyway, so let me just pause there and say, you know,
what's been your experience?
And how have you kind of gotten at peace with that part?
Yeah, you know, I think, I think there's a lot of folks that will be able to resonate with that.
(03:20):
And I think the big difference of what you're talking about of the like,
or the not like, so to speak, you kind of touched on it, it's when a label is
applied to you, when somebody else gives you that label and tries to indicate you are this,
right, this is you when you haven't selected, chosen, or told them.
And I think a lot of times what happens in those instances is people are often
(03:43):
weaponizing those labels as well, right?
They're giving you the label, you know, and I'm sure we'll get down to some
of these, but you know, autistic, and they're doing it in order to weaponize
it against you, like, oh, you are different.
These are the things and trying to tell you and describe how you are to you,
rather than trying to have that conversation getting to know you.
(04:03):
So I think, you know, I'm not a huge fan of a label that's applied by another individual.
You know, that's just my personal opinion. I think when we are going to,
you know, step into these labels or these personas or these areas of ourselves
and accept them as, you know, part of our identity,
I think the most important and critical piece is that we're choosing what they
(04:26):
are and we're choosing what they mean, right? Not somebody else.
You know, as soon as you started to see that, I immediately wrote it down because
I think that's, I think not just labels, but so many things in life, right?
When things are applied to you, you know, what's called against your will or
against the, or your desires, right?
(04:46):
Versus you choosing them or telling them to be applied to you,
right? It's two very different situations.
But then when it's also weaponized against you, then, then that,
you know, that's like a double whammy, right?
And you go, wait a second here. Hold up.
This doesn't seem fair there's no way of there's no way of getting out of this,
and that you know once you want and once you fall into that weaponization,
(05:08):
of labels let's talk about that because i know that i won't i know that i have been,
subject to the weaponization of labels so let's talk about some controversial
labels maybe not controversial but non-traditional labels that might make people
awkward or uncomfortable when you're you know around cocktail party that you
would apply to yourself self for people to kind of recognize you and relate to you. Yeah.
(05:29):
There, I mean, there's a whole, whole handful of them and I kind of laugh and
chuckle every time because I swear I add a new one, you know, at least once a month.
But I think the very first one that tends to be very controversial is the fact
that I'm a witch, you know, and I consider myself an eclectic witch.
I'm also a psychic medium. I'm a high priestess. I'm a magician.
I'm a Reiki master. I'm a healer. and I consider myself a soul healer.
(05:53):
I'm neurodivergent. I have ADHD.
I'm a recovering alcoholic. And that's a big controversial thing.
Sometimes people will get into a tiff around that one.
I don't know that there's a single label that I would apply to myself that couldn't
raise the hairs on a few folks, depending upon the audience that I was in. Yeah.
(06:17):
Okay. And so that's quite a, so speaking of that, right?
So that gets right into my point of, well, or I guess what I believe,
what I feel like is great about it is you take what works for you.
Right? And you kind of leave the rest. Yeah. You asked the question of like,
how do I, how do I get comfortable with it?
You know? And I'll tell you, it's a, I think the number one thing is I made the choice, right?
(06:42):
I was the one that chose to apply these labels to myself.
And all of them haven't been, you know, they all haven't all been comfortable, you know?
It just, even when I go back, the two probably most controversial is,
you know, labeling myself witch and labeling myself an alcoholic,
you know, and it took me probably two years of looking at my relationship with
(07:04):
alcohol before I was willing to admit that I was an alcoholic and literally
put that label upon myself.
And I will, I will continue, you know, I, there are some, there are some folks
that step into recovery that, you know, will decide to not embrace that term
to describe themselves anymore.
But to me, it's a really huge part of my own, you know, sober journey is accepting that label.
(07:26):
And then, you know, from the witch perspective, this one is a,
this one's a really interesting one because my person, myself actually loves
the thought of keeping it private, right?
There's like a little bit of a secrecy and, you know, kind of like fun with
that secrecy and that, you know, ha ha ha,
(07:47):
like, look at me, I'm a little witch over here, you know, but it was about a
year and a half ago through like meditation and, you know, talking with my,
my own spirit guides and things of that nature where they said,
I'm sorry, you can no longer hide. You have to make it known.
It's part of your journey. That's part of your purpose is to show people that
(08:09):
embracing this path, these beliefs and the spiritual practice actually has a purpose in life.
And it's not something that's trivial or something that should be,
you know, judged as being innately evil.
And I still, you know, even though it's been a year and a half since I've stepped
into that label in the public space,
I still, even just as of two days ago, had somebody in my private messages,
(08:34):
you know, ridiculing me and chastising me.
And then, you know, it flips into this like prove it type of mentality,
show me your true powers, your joke,
you know, and it's just, I think the most important thing with any label that
we're going to choose is to know that the moment we do that,
that means there are other people that have the ability to judge that label,
(09:00):
you know, and you have to be comfortable with allowing the judgment of others to roll off your back.
And I don't care what label it is. There's always going to be someone that is going to judge it.
And you have to be able to let that judgment roll off your back.
You know, I want to take this time to reiterate. And that's what my hope is
with this and my focus with this podcast is a separation.
(09:23):
Because from here, we're not going to talk so much about what those labels are, right?
Because that's not the purpose. The purpose, you know, what we're wanting to
talk about, right, is how to feel comfortable with those labels.
How do you find out whatever labels are right for you?
What are the things, what are the challenges that you face in doing so?
And also, what are the opportunities as well, though, right?
(09:43):
And that's really what this conversation is about, right? It's not about trying
to convert people to think one way or another.
It's the exact opposite, right? This is about how to get, how to help people
experience the freedom of thinking for themselves, right?
So that being, yeah, so that being said, I know you started to kind of talk
about some challenges, you know, and so let's talk about that because it's always
easier said than done, right? Right.
(10:04):
Like it's always like, you know, I know that it's easy for me to,
to puff out the chest and go, I don't care what anybody says.
And, you know, and have that combative masculine type of response.
But the reality is behind the scenes, I'm just like, well, you know,
why, why, why, why are you trying to make me, why are you trying to make me
give me a sad face, man? That's not cool. Right.
(10:24):
How do I navigate, you know, what's the literal, you know, I think the first
thing is, you know, I've talked about you being the individual that chooses.
And I think before you even understand how to navigate the judgment or the hate, let's be real.
Sometimes that judgment comes with a big old backsplash of hate behind it.
(10:44):
You know, you have to make sure that you truly are comfortable with whatever
it is that you're labeling yourself.
And so to me, one of the biggest practices that I've had, you know,
in my own recovery is being really, really comfortable with how my body talks to me.
You know, and understanding the somatic responses that my body is having,
(11:05):
you know, when we put ourselves into uncomfortable situations,
or if I were to try to adopt a label that wasn't really truly aligned,
you know, like, let's say I wanted to call myself a, I don't know why this popped
into my head, a pickup artist, you know, I'm great at influence and persuasion.
Like I'm going to just adopt this, you know, my body, even just thinking of
(11:26):
that right now, I get like a little little bit nauseous and uncomfortable.
Like I'm not a big fan of, right? And so learning how to listen to your body
to ensure that what you're choosing to label yourself or identify yourself with,
I think is a really, really big first step.
Because when we do that, the judgment or the hate or whatever else comes our way, right?
(11:50):
Almost has like our body almost has its own kind of like protective barrier
to not allowing it to like, we have this place that we can go that says, no, this is true for me.
This is right for me. This feels good for me. And what you're saying or how
you're projecting your judgment or your hate doesn't resonate.
Right. But if you don't, if you don't go through this, like this exercise,
(12:14):
and for some people, you know, I told you accepting the identity of the witch
and like using it in a public space was probably a year long journey, right.
Of me talking with like back and forth with my guides. Are you really sure?
And testing little things and seeing how people responded.
And, and, you know, it was always, I felt okay with it, but it was when I put
(12:38):
it into these public spaces that this discomfort would happen.
And that's, that was the key was recognizing that it was truly the other individual's
discomfort I was feeling, not the discomfort with the decision of myself, right?
Other people were uncomfortable with me referring to myself as such.
(13:01):
Other people were uncomfortable seeing this in, you know, their public space
or on their Facebook feed because my name literally reflects that now, you know, so to speak.
And so you have to be really confident that the labels that you are choosing to accept.
Are labels that you, you believe ring true, right?
(13:23):
And if, if that's not the case, you know, I'm, I'm just, I'm getting these like
pictures in my head of why, why I think some teenagers and some younger individuals
really struggle is because the years between the ages of like,
I think it's like 12 until about 17 are intended for you to try a lot of hats on, right?
(13:46):
To step into a lot of different identities and to like test
and to see what feels right and what doesn't and the unfortunate
truth it's also probably the most critical time for
our peers right and so it's
really easy to ignore that true somatic response because someone else is trying
to override it for you you know you touched on some quite a few times there
(14:11):
and i want to back up the bust in a second in here to earlier in your journey.
But while we're talking about this, I want to first do a plug because for both,
can I say where you worked at by the way? Is that cool?
So I want to plug for both Quicken Loans, now Rocket Mortgage and both Ford
Direct because to your point, look, in both cases, I knew you in the corporate
(14:34):
world and I saw you come in as your different self.
And in some cases that was simply different colored hair. In other cases that
was different colored hair and in tattoo show, right? That were definitely,
that were definitely non-traditional.
So, so A, kudos to both of those places for allowing an environment for it to
really be cool, for it to be cool for people to genuinely be themselves.
And the other thing that I will tell you is, is, you know, watching and observing
(14:56):
various marketing data, things like that.
When I look around a place and if I don't see, you know, if I don't see a pink
hair or I don't see, you know, a nonconformist, you know, amongst there,
then I know everyone's thinking the same, right?
The quote unquote weirdos is where a lot of the free thinking happens.
So you need to, you know, every company needs a handful of them.
So anyway, so I just, you know, it's important to understand as well that even
(15:18):
in large companies like that, your identity, what you're talking about is accepted, right? Right.
And so a lot of the uncomfortableness was fears that you were kind of placing
on yourself from others what was out there, more so than necessarily how you would be received.
And, you know, and that's and I think that's a huge point that I just wanted
to give you a chance to kind of get into.
(15:39):
No, I mean, our our society and I'll say, you know, here we're in America.
Right. There might be some cultures that are don't, you know,
agree with this, but our society literally is built for conformity.
Right? We, we, you know, we're little tiny children.
And then around the age of four or five, we're put into daycare.
(16:00):
We're in a group of, of, of, you know, students or folks were taught in the same fashion.
If we don't learn in the same way, we're ostracized from that original group
and literally put into another group that's supposed to learn in the same fashion.
And so like we, we just, our society is like, Hey, here's a box.
You should get comfortable in this box. this is what
(16:23):
you should be by the way after high school it's
college i mean there's so many prescribed paths
that it's really hard for us to
i'll be 45 this year and so i just go back and i look at how hard it was to
be myself as a teenager right because of this conformity and my early 20s because
(16:46):
of this like this literal like conformity of like here or here is what you're supposed to be doing.
Right. And I just, it never felt right to me. And so I was, you know,
very blessed that I found, you know, environments that allowed me to be my strange and unusual self.
And, you know, frankly, I'm blessed that even though I succumbed to a lot of that conformity,
(17:11):
there was still a spark within me that knew that me being different was not
only okay, but it was something to be celebrated.
And even though I might not have done that in a public setting in the past,
I never allowed myself to shame myself for it. I may have been shamed by others.
(17:35):
I may have had others apply that, what are you doing?
You're a weirdo. You're crazy, all that kind of stuff. But I never,
like, that's where I said to me, even that witch title, there was this like
thrill of keeping it secret, right?
Because that has been the most shame that's been applied to me over the course of the many years.
(17:55):
But yeah, no, I myself never allowed myself to fall into, you know,
patterns of shaming or guilting myself for a label or a choice or a decision
or a weirdness that I had.
And even to this day, I have plenty of people that sit down in front of me,
clients and folks that I work with that, oh, I'm going to say something weird.
What I'm about to say is so strange.
(18:16):
And I go for it because there really isn't. I have zero judgment on weird and strange.
To me, that's what makes life worth living is the weird and strange.
The conformity stuff is, well, yeah. Yeah.
Well, it seems like there's no doubt. It seems like the tides are changing and
(18:37):
the weird and the strange seems to be rolling in pretty quickly compared to,
you know, let's say the little, if you look at it, the pace of the last few decades.
So I want to get kind of literal here for a second on, on, on the feels, right?
Because I know like when I've read things and I listen to people and they'll
be like, oh yeah, you know, I felt this and you'll know.
(18:58):
And you're like, Like, I'm like, no, I don't know. If I knew I wouldn't be listening
to you trying to find out what it means to know I'd be feeling it and I'd be doing it. Right.
So what, you know, so like help people to understand, how did you know when
you talk about it felt right. Right.
Like what didn't, how do you know, like literally the, the, the feeling inside
of when something doesn't feel right to you versus when it does feel right and
(19:21):
how you kind of, you know, I guess let's talk a little bit about that,
how, how that served you early on in your life, how you kind of muffled it.
Right. And then how it's made its way back to being much more of a guidepost
for you now and you trust it.
Yeah. I can't go into any of those conversations without referencing once again
that I'm a recovering alcoholic.
(19:42):
And I have been, when I go back and look, I've been drinking since the age of eight.
You know, and I'm not talking about every night with a six pack is an eight year old, right.
But I mean, I have a lot of memories of being around that age,
literally seeking out half finished glasses of, you know, rum and Cokes,
my father, you know, wouldn't finish.
(20:03):
And, you know, I've looked back a lot at that. And a lot of that was to numb, right.
The alcohol was to numb these feelings, food, I've used food to numb feelings
for, you know, many, many, many years, work,
to numb feelings, right, to distract the mental thought process and give you
(20:25):
something that is productive to be, you know, spending your energy in.
And so I've, I've done a lot of these patterns, you know, say I'm a recovering
alcoholic, workaholic, perfectionist, and control freak, a lot of these patterns
to numb that these feelings and these sensations.
And so it wasn't until I got onto the other side of recovery and started to
(20:46):
really be willing to feel.
And what I mean by feeling, you know, we can go ahead and, you know,
anybody that's listening, you can pull up a literally look for like an emotional wheel.
Like you can type in Google emotion wheel, and it'll show you like a list of
literal emotion words to describe emotion.
And that's one piece of it. It's one component. But when I'm talking about feeling,
(21:08):
I am referencing the feeling in In our actual body, right?
And so think about all of the times there's a lot of folks, you know,
you might walk into a room, you might walk into a new place,
you may meet a new person and you'll be like, they've got a good vibe.
They felt okay. Or this building feels weird and creepy. Like our body is a
barometer. It is a literal barometer.
(21:30):
You know, you know, our aura extends about eight feet out from us.
So any place that we walk into, go experience, even a thought that we may have
can give us a literal body bleed sensation, right?
The challenge is so many of us have done exactly what I was doing through most of their life.
They found some other way to numb those sensations through alcohol,
(21:53):
drugs, food, sex, you know, chaos, drama.
Drama is a really huge one. I've had a couple of conversations with folks lately
where people will literally be in drama cycles to avoid and ignore what they
actually truly are feeling and witnessing.
And so our body will be what resonates, you know, and this can feel like you
(22:15):
could feel sick, like literal physically sick, nauseous, uncomfortable,
heaviness, tightness in chest, poor digestion.
Slow digestion, or you could literally feel an an energetic,
you know, shift and change.
I feel more energy. I've been able to sleep better, anything of that nature.
And so when I talk about feeling, it's literally looking inwards to the body
(22:39):
itself and asking the body, how is it feeling?
And I don't mean that emotion word. I mean, the literal physical sensation in the body, right?
That to me is one of the biggest indications. And And, you know,
that somatic response of a tightness in the chest, right,
or like that sickness that you'll kind of feel like your whole stomach kind
(23:01):
of like clenches in or even this feeling, you know, how it shows up for me sometimes
with stuff is like I will literally feel this.
Something is hard to do, right? Like if I'm supposed to go out this afternoon
or I'm supposed to meet someone for coffee or something of that nature,
and I'm like, oh my God, I can't even get up. Oh, the day.
Oh, oh. Like that even alone is the body's way of showing that there's something
(23:26):
not aligned with the direction that you're going.
Yeah. The body is the number one truth teller.
It's funny as you're sitting there talking about those things, I was like,
all right, check, check check yeah check been
there that one too yep check and and
into your point right like you know i didn't know
my at that time i didn't know about myself as sensitive you're picking
(23:47):
up on you know the energies of others and things of that nature and so all of
those other ways of dealing with it right and then you know it's not like we
all sit around talking which is again part of the reason this podcast because
we don't all sit around talking about how we're actually feeling and wondering
does everybody feel this way does everybody go through this stuff what's normal right?
Like we all kind of have our thing with, or at least, you know,
(24:08):
I feel like I just, I had to realize that I actually don't know how everybody
else feels. I don't know if everybody else goes through this. Right.
And so that's part of, and what I've learned is through these more open and
vulnerable conversations that, you know, that there is a lot more people that go through it. Right.
And it's now, it may not be the exact same situation, but the emotion behind the stuff, right.
(24:28):
Of what, of what is experienced, you know, is, is definitely there. And you're right.
And it looked back and I had to learn how to understand the difference between
when is my stomach hurting because I just ate some bad food and when is my stomach
hurting because it's telling me that I'm not being true to myself right now, right?
Is this nauseousness, again, because why am I feeling nauseous?
(24:52):
And most of the times it was because I had to learn that it's because I'm holding
something and I should be saying, right? I'm not being true to myself. I'm not being genuine.
And, you know, and those, again, these are all common things.
I just take some Tums and yeah, an event.
And of course I do, I took plenty of pills to make the feels go away.
Cause I didn't know what they were. Right. So yeah, you can override the body talking to you.
Right. There's, there's ways, you know what I mean? So turning it off,
(25:14):
it's not, you know, my challenges, I just didn't really come with a dimmer switch.
Right. For me, it was either on or off as far as I kind of knew.
And so when you're talking about then what feels right, I guess I would kind
of add to that to just say, because this is right where, is then also what happens after that, right?
Because it's one thing to say, oh, you know what? I read this,
(25:35):
and that seems like me, so I'm going to identify with this, and I'm going to
kind of start to adopt that label, and I'm going to kind of try on those clothes and see how it feels.
And then there's the watching to see how everything else happens around you.
Now, you know, I don't want to get caught up in trying to sit in and trying
to say, now watch people look for all kinds of reasons and everything that happens to you.
(25:59):
And there's information that's, you know, has significant life meaning.
No, stuff that happens to sometimes just information and everything significant
meaning behind the stuff that happens to us. Right.
And so but how would you tell people then to look at what type of cues to look
for to say the universe is supporting me based on these clothes that I'm starting to wear?
So that's kind of a sign that I'm in line. Right. Some people may say look for
(26:21):
synchronicities. Right. What would you kind of say?
You know, the synchronicities can be really good. You'll also watch like the
moment you start to adopt, you know, and you step into a label that feels good.
You'll often start to watch the universe kind of shift in a line towards that.
So you might start to see more folks that are like, oh, yeah,
actually, I, you know, I'm neurodivergent, too. Oh, actually, I'm a witch.
(26:45):
Oh, you know, so you're going to start to see some of that validation.
But on the flip side, you're going to start to see some folks challenging it as well.
And that's kind of the universe's way of saying, like, hey, man, you took on an identity.
Like, are you, you know, are you sure? Like, are you sure?
And it's not it won't happen forever. You know, like I said,
the gentleman that challenged me just here a couple of days ago,
(27:07):
I probably haven't had someone do that kind of work with me,
I don't know, probably about a year,
you know, but it just so happens that I'm about to venture out and do some changes within my own business.
And so like, of course, someone's going to pop up and challenge my own,
you know, confidence in myself, you know, like that.
The universe is able to deliver both really beautiful lessons,
(27:32):
like these people aligning towards you again, you finding new paths,
new opportunities, new stores.
I mean, I can't tell you, I don't know if I've ever shared this story with you,
but I remember in my 20s, I had started to research and go down the path of
trying to research search more magical practices aligned to like the golden
(27:54):
dawn and Aleister Crowley and some of these really old, old magicians.
And I could never find anything.
I couldn't find the right books. I go into like, you know, bookstores,
they wouldn't have anything present there.
And I just couldn't. And so I, I like dismissed it and, and, you know, left it.
And it's only been now on the other side of recovery as I stepped back into
(28:18):
my spirituality that they just keep flooding to me, right?
I'll have a book. Oh, have you ever read this before?
Would you like to read it? And I'm like, oh my God, this is a book that I was
literally looking for 15, 20 years ago, right?
And so you'll watch these synchronicities, you'll watch these things kind of
pop up, people come in, situations come in.
You may even see some things around like songs,
(28:41):
movies, music, all to validate that you've
chosen maybe the right path the right label but the
moment you also have that questioning and challenging happening it's
validation as well right when you start to
watch someone and and frankly like if you take any more
controversial type of labels you know if
the folks that are listening decide to go down the path and take something that's
(29:02):
pretty controversial what you're going to find is those folks that are challenging
you are actually meant to exit the life right That's like the universe's way
of starting to show you that these are not the people aligned with that path,
with that next step, that next phase.
So, yeah, the feelings are one thing. I think folks are going to get synchronicities in another way.
(29:24):
And you're just going to start to see more validation on both sides as well, right?
Where more things are aligning to take you down that path and more things are challenging you.
Because the reality is, as much as we may want a high vibration life,
we might want a life filled with peace and love and happiness and joy.
(29:45):
Boy, there are other people out there very often around us that are struggling
with that and would much prefer to have you down on their level.
You know, misery loves company is the statement.
So let's talk about a different level here.
So it's always easy to have these conversations that are in hindsight, right?
(30:07):
When you have the ability to experience and everything to prove stuff out.
So let's take this back to before, like earlier on in your life, right?
You talked about feeling and what feels right and taking the time to be present
and listen. And then you also use a term, meditate.
And I want to talk about that for a quick second because while,
(30:27):
yes, there's very specific disciplines of meditation or teachings within it.
And I think that sometimes that's what people think, that that's what you have
to do in order to be meditative or be thoughtful or to be present.
It has to be something very structured like that.
But for the purpose of this conversation and when we think about meditation
(30:50):
and being able to be present and listen to yourself,
what's a more simplified, distilled down version for somebody who doesn't want
to think about themselves in a meditation room, meditating?
I mean, the way I've always described meditation is meditation is awareness of thought.
That's all that it is. And another way to look at it is going to be mindfulness,
(31:12):
like being very mindful where your thoughts are and where they're not.
And so for some people, if we were to go down and really talk about folks that
are on this enlightened path,
you might get into these conversations around meditation is clearing of thoughts
and you're just able to sit at peace and be with no thought for an hour. Right.
(31:32):
And yeah, that's lovely and really wonderful.
And that would be an amazing place to get to. But it's not realistic for most people.
Right. And there's a lot of people that I've talked to that they they they stop
going down the path of trying to meditate because they can't get this silent silence of mind.
Right. They just can't get to it. And so they think that they they're not good
(31:56):
at meditating. And so I always say all meditation is, it's just the awareness
of thought, recognizing, oh, that's interesting.
I'm wondering why this thought's coming up, but not right now.
We'll go ahead and revisit that later, right? And allowing those thoughts to just come and go.
Maybe there's one that you sit with a little bit longer.
Maybe there's one, you know, for example, I said, you know, through meditating
(32:17):
and talking with my guides when I was told that I actually needed to embrace
the title of the witch, like that came through. I literally,
you know, the meditation is I was dancing.
I had music on and I was just in my living room and I was just dancing and I
was just allowing my mind to just enjoy the music.
And it was, you know, it wasn't even in a lyric at that particular point.
(32:41):
It was this kind of download of knowing that just came through.
And I said, that's interesting. I said, what do you mean?
And that's when my guides responded with, you have to embrace this title. It's part of your path.
It's part of what you're meant to do in this next phase of your life.
And so, yeah, it's when we're conscious of our mind and more aware of it,
(33:05):
you may find that through that meditative state or this awareness that you get
information beyond just your thoughts.
So, and so receiving information and there's a time, right?
So I think you would also have experienced that we may have received the same
information many times in our, but there just comes at one time when it's the,
(33:29):
the, the, the intersection of the information coming through and our ability
to hear it the way that it needs to be heard. Right.
And so I know for me, I had a point in my life where I finally said,
all right, this is, this is crap.
There's no way that the human body is just designed all of a sudden,
just be on pills and feel like, and feel horrible.
(33:51):
Right. Like there, there's just no way that this is as good as it gets and that
this is what we're meant to be. And on the other hand, right.
Don't get me wrong. Taking a pill, you know, to make yourself feel better is a nice thing.
And then the other side of the coin was like the, oh, well, it's just because
you don't have a healthy body.
And so other things are going wrong with you, for example, right?
Like I got, so I've gone down a path where glasses, okay.
(34:13):
So Eastern medicine says that me needing glasses is due to, you know, some, a challenge.
I can't remember, but so pleasing my, like the liver and other,
you know, just the body's ability to work together as it should properly.
So therefore the body in itself isn't healthy enough.
And so therefore the eyes are just a symptom of that, right?
Of it's just telling that to me. So I'm like, all right, cool.
(34:35):
If that's going to be the case, I'm tired of feeling like I'm the one that's broken.
I'm going to get healthy as can be and see if my eyesight any better. Right.
And so, yeah, I'm saying this on camera and, you know, but like that that's,
and then working with my friends that are Eastern practitioners to say,
Hey, look, walk me through this guys.
Right. Because you guys believe that we can do these things.
I want to believe that I can make myself feel better, but yet I don't look around
(34:57):
and see all of these examples of all of this stuff happening necessarily.
And again, that could be the difference between Western culture and Eastern
otherwise either, but either way, the point is, I don't see it.
And so I want to see more of it. I want to believe I'm willing to put in the
effort. So somebody helped me do it.
And so that's when I got to that point. And I started to then understand myself
in a very different way, right?
I started to learn and listen to my body and started to be open to it.
(35:18):
And it was, and it wasn't even trying to get to it from that direction.
So So I just got, I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
What was your, I guess, transition point or maybe your first transition point,
except you lived in Maine, where you were younger, you didn't know what you
were feeling. You just knew that you were tired to kind of feel in a different way.
And you started recognizing that your body was guiding you to feel other ways.
(35:43):
And that got your attention. Yeah, no, it did.
And so, you know, the interesting thing is I don't think, I think,
and we go back to that whole statement that I said, this conformity,
this train, this like what we just get on and we just start going and going
and going and never take a pause or a stop.
And, you know, I was talking with a friend earlier today and we were talking
about like retreats and things of that nature.
(36:04):
And I think, you know, I think it's really important that we always have moments
within our lives that we stop what we typically are doing, like what we get
off of that train and just stop and look around and take notice.
And so for me, the time that became so, so intensely transformative for me,
you know, in a number of different ways, right?
(36:27):
You know, our past life together, we both worked for Quicken Loans,
now Rafit Mortgage. And.
I had to, towards the latter part of my time there in that career,
I had to take a leave of absence. My father was really sick.
And so I took this leave of absence.
And so for two and a half months, I was around the medical field,
tending to my father, my mother, helping to care for, which gives you a lot
(36:50):
of time to start thinking about,
you know, and forces you, let's be real, when you're facing mortality in the
face, right, by a loved one about to cross over, you're being told,
you start to like, look at life differently, you start to question it,
You start to challenge it. You start to wonder.
And, you know, I, I just, at that particular point, I had a marriage that was,
(37:10):
you know, had dissolved.
One of the things in that marriage that my ex-husband had told me was that I
was too involved with my work and didn't have enough time for him in the relationship.
And so I'm also watching my father, like on his deathbed and the way that he
was kind of, you know, I was mirroring this workaholism of his, right.
(37:31):
And And, you know, that leave of absence and going back into the office when
it ended and feeling how intense the energetic was in my body at that point,
like it was a real eye opener of this is not the right place for me.
This isn't where I'm supposed to be.
My whole nervous system went on like this heightened, you know,
(37:56):
for lack of a better way to describe it, defense, right?
It felt like the moment I stepped back into this corporate environment at that
point that every bit of me wanted to be on a defense, that it needed to fight,
that it needed to pull up armor.
And I was like, God, is this the way I want to wake up and show up in life every day?
(38:19):
Is this okay?
And the answer was no, it's not. not, you know, and the moment that happened,
all of these blinders started to come down and I started to see,
you know, some of this, the toxic projections that I was putting onto the environment around me.
(38:40):
And it was just at that point, it wasn't just them. Like it wasn't just the
environment and the folks that
I worked with, but it was who I was when I stepped into that environment.
And that was the workaholic, the perfectionist, the control freak,
and the alcoholic, right?
And it was at that particular time, it would have been in 2017.
The end of 2017, that I started to like take a step back and really,
(39:03):
really question for the first time, whether or not that train of,
was what I really wanted to be on. Wow. Well, that's very vulnerable.
And I think a lot of people can relate to those feelings when we were able to
take the time to stop and be present and listen.
(39:25):
And sometimes that can be just doing it when you're brushing your teeth, getting ready, right?
Like sometimes, let's be real. Life happens. So we don't all have time to just
go sit in a room for a while, right?
You got to find those little moments to just be very present for two minutes at a time.
Right? And things like that. So unfortunately, we're starting to,
you know, having to wind it down. And I hate to do that at the end of such a beautiful story.
(39:48):
So I do want to give you the opportunity.
I'm going to bring up some points. I want to give the listeners an opportunity
to understand you and how to reach out to you as well, if this stuff relates.
So is there any, before we get into you and what you do, are there any last
minute words of wisdom or things that didn't come up that you would want to
share with the listeners?
You know, I think, I actually think I think it's like a really beautiful point
(40:12):
to kind of like wrap because the sentiment there, we started this talking about labels, right?
We started talking about labels, some of the importance of labels,
some of the challenges of it.
And at the end of the day, the biggest thing that I recognized and realized
is I had to give enough time to myself to be able to step off of that train,
as I said, just for a moment.
(40:33):
You know to be able to
look around and recognize that these labels other
people had put on me right the
the like party girl that loved to drink you know that was socially all of these
other labels weren't the labels that i actually wanted they weren't the labels
that made me feel good they weren't the labels that like nourished my soul and
(40:57):
made me feel as though they were relevant of it to a purpose that I had here in life.
And so, you know, that's the, to me is probably the biggest thing to state,
you know, for anybody that is listening and you're hearing any of this for the
first time, and maybe you had that somatic, you know, response,
maybe you had this, this feeling of like, oh my God, I totally get that.
Like, you know, just give yourself a second to pause, you know,
(41:21):
and it doesn't have to be two and a half months, right?
It might be two minutes while you're brushing your teeth, as Graham said,
but just give yourself that moment to pause and truly ask yourself.
Are you happy with the way life is?
Are you happy with it? Are you fulfilled?
You know, simple question, not necessarily easy to answer that.
(41:43):
That one takes a different type of look in the mirror.
Yeah. And so, you know, and I would say when you're wanting to learn from somebody,
right, you want to learn from somebody who's looked in the mirror.
You want to have somebody who's had experiential knowledge.
So based on what you just said, and I want to recap what you talked about here
and in giving you credit for your experiential knowledge and for the listeners
(42:05):
to relate to as well, which we said, look, if you're going to adopt these things, here's kind of.
And here's the things to look out for and to be prepared, to be prepared is
number one, it should feel real to you, right?
It should feel like you're willing to, you're comfortable kind of getting made
fun of being called that, right?
For lack of a better way of thinking about it, but there's just that level of certainty, right?
(42:25):
And expect to be challenged for that matter, right? If something is important
and it's ingrained enough to you, look, you know, we're here to learn, right?
And so the universe is going to provide you those opportunities to learn and
ingrain yourself, right? And so the universe kind of says, hey,
if you're not willing to believe in yourself, how can you ask me to believe in you, right?
So show me this is who you are and I'm going to support you.
(42:45):
And I think that that's an important part too, is to not to view those things,
not to view headwinds as negativity, not to view challenges as negativity, right?
To understand them as being as actually positive KPIs that let you know you're on the right track.
And reinforcements. That's right, reinforcements.
And then the last thing is just also understand that sometimes the indicators
(43:07):
that you're are on the right track is that your life around you is kind of changing.
Those that are around you that may be in it, may not be in it, right?
People that were around different perspectives will find their way to not be around anymore.
And so if judging people leaving or otherwise as the only thing,
then that's a challenge.
(43:27):
So what I would say is if people are leaving your life and everything else in
your life is going to shit as well, pardon my language, then yeah,
okay, there's probably something else going on there that requires some deeper reflection.
Perfection however if people have left your life but
yet you like you wake up feeling better every morning you
feel more clarity you feel more comfortable in your
own skin you feel good walking out the door okay then
(43:47):
you then then that's indicators that yeah you're that you know you should feel
good about the path that you're on etc right so if this type of experiential
knowledge and understanding is you know has been helpful at all sunshine what
is exactly kind of that you do and how might what you do be able to help our
listeners that, you know, I've enjoyed our conversation.
(44:08):
Yeah. You know, you know,
There's a lot of business folks that would say I should have a very clear and
succinct pitch line right there to tell you.
And some of that in my own journey right now is being defined.
I will tell you the people that I am looking to help the most are individuals
that truly know and understand that they identify as a witch and that they are
(44:31):
looking to change their life.
They want to recover from this life.
They want to get off that train and they want to step into something that they
have more more empowerment in, more hope in, more optimism.
And I say recovery, I'm a recovering alcoholic, workaholic, perfectionist and control freak.
But I say that anybody that is suffering from kind of the addiction to lower vibration.
(44:54):
So this can be drug, sex, alcohol, violence, shopping, food,
sugar, drama, and chaos.
Those are real two big ones that I watch people cycle in and out of.
And so if you are tired of living a life that just does not feel aligned line
to where you're meant to go next, that's who I want to reach out.
We'll help you recover from the life that you once lived and help you walk into
(45:16):
the life that you're meant to live. And how do you want them to reach out to you?
Yeah, you can find me. My favorite way is sunshine at sunshinereadings.com.
That's my email address.
I sit on the other side of it. It's my favorite way for folks to find me.
You can also look on Facebook, Instagram for Sunshine Readings and visit the website too,
sunshine reading stuff yeah all right well i can't thank you enough for being
(45:40):
open being vulnerable right sharing the ugly you know i hope that people were
able to you know hey bring a smile a laugh relatability anything you know as
well i know i always get stuff out of our conversations.
And so i know we'll be on here again and so i just want to a thank you again
for showing up and then secondly i know you're going to as well as starting
(46:01):
your next chapter of life so you know straight sending you much,
much strength and support, my friend,
you know, for the universe to support you and get your footing as well.
I adore being here. Thank you for having me, Graham. All right. Take care, everybody.
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