February 14, 2025 • 30 mins
In this episode, we meet coach Kate Nichols, a Brit living in Canada, who before finding freedom from alcohol and becoming a coach herself, saw herself as a happy social drinker. But that was before a family intervention during COVID lockdown made us see that swigging wine from a, from secretly stashed bottles in the closet wasn't quite as innocent as she'd been trying to make out to herself.
Although the idea of not drinking terrified her at first, she quickly found the This Naked Mind methodology, and that changed her life, her relationships, and gave her the freedom she didn't even realise she was missing!
Kate Nichols
https://freedomaffect.com/
https://www.instagram.com/kate_sobrietyandfitness/
Our 30-day group programme:
https://www.cleanlifecoaching.org/aff-group
The podcast home page
https://podcast.alcoholfreedomfinders.com/
Justine Clark
https://justineclarktherapy.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/wellwithjustine/
Barry Condon
https://www.cleanlifecoaching.org/
https://www.instagram.com/clean.life.coaching/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/barry-condon-577b85294/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is Alcohol Freedom Finders.
In this episode, we meet coachKate Nichols, a Brit living in
Canada, who before findingfreedom from alcohol and
becoming a coach herself, sawherself as a happy social
drinker.
But that was before a familyintervention during COVID
lockdown made us see thatswigging wine from a, from
secretly stashed bottles in thecloset wasn't quite as innocent
(00:24):
as she'd been trying to make outto herself.
Although the idea of notdrinking terrified her at first,
she quickly found the This NakedMind methodology, and that
changed her life, herrelationships, and gave her the
freedom she didn't even realizeshe was missing.
Let's jump in.
Justine Clark (00:41):
Welcome everybody with Coach Justine and Coach
Barry.
We're really excited this weekto have Coach Kate Nichols on
the Alcohol Freedom Finders.
Kate is also a This Naked Mindcoach, so we're super excited to
hear her perspective and alittle bit more about her
journey.
Barry Condon (01:02):
Hi Kate, great to see you.
let me just jump straight inwith a question.
I'd like to just, why don't you,introduce yourself and tell us a
little bit about how you foundalcohol freedom yourself.
Kate Nichols (01:13):
Yeah.
Well, hi, Justine and Barry.
Thank you for having me.
It's really nice to be here.
so I'm coach Kate Nichols andI'm also a This Naked Mind coach
like yourselves.
I, my.
change my, my, my decision toquestion my relationship with
alcohol came about in 2021,when, during COVID, I noticed
(01:34):
that my drinking was, increasingand it was becoming very
important for me to get alcohol.
When we weren't going out much.
So, I noticed that my needaround the desire to drink,
changed at that point.
And that's really when I startedto, to question, my relationship
with that.
Justine Clark (01:53):
That's such a common thing.
I mean, how many peoplestruggled with, with alcohol
during COVID?
So you speak to the massesthere.
So, you know, you, you noticedthe problem.
What did you do about it?
Kate Nichols (02:05):
Well, my family were a very big part of my
decision making.
I think, I've got two grown upkids.
They're now 26 and 24.
And they were at home when theywouldn't ordinarily have been
because of COVID.
And they were witnessing mydrinking, which was at home.
It wasn't sociable.
It was just Drinking, and they,and their dad, my husband, who
(02:26):
my husband does like to drinkstill, he, he'd always pretty
much ignored my drinking, eventhough I think he probably knew
it was a bit out of balance.
But I think the three of thembeing at home, three adults
being at home, and the fact weweren't going out and the nature
of my drinking had become quiteclear to them that, I was,
behaving in a way that wasconcerning for them.
(02:47):
So they, they did intervene andbasically asked me to, to get
some, some kind of help really.
So that was the turning pointfor me to actually do something
about it.
Barry Condon (03:00):
Wow, that's, that must have been, that must have
been hard.
I mean, how, how did you comethrough that period?
were you, were you ready to, to,to accept their, their, advice
or, or, or the intervention or,or was it?
Was it difficult to begin with?
Kate Nichols (03:14):
was very difficult because I, well, I'm, I was 57
when I stopped drinking.
I'm 60 now, and I was someonewho never had a journey of
trying to stop.
I was a happy drinker.
I was a social drinker.
I was aware that my drinkingwas, You know, I was drinking on
my own.
I wasn't, you know, I obviouslyknew, but I was a social drinker
(03:37):
as well.
I mean, I drank because I felthappy.
So I really had never addressedit.
And when they cornered me, whichis the only way to describe it,
it was very difficult because I,like many of us, alcohol, I'd
given alcohol a job.
I really depended on it.
The idea of giving it up wasterrifying and, I suddenly saw
(04:01):
my life ahead in a verydifferent way, but like they
were serious about, me gettingsome kind of help, to the point
that I was, with my daughter waspretty dire.
I probably wouldn't be having arelationship with her now.
and my husband, he, he reallyhad had enough.
I mean, he was talking not ofseparating, but he was talking
(04:23):
about removing himself from thehouse at the weekends, which is
when most of my drinking,happened.
So I was very cornered.
I probably wouldn't have doneanything if that wasn't the
case, there and then.
And one thing I like to say thathappened is that they put the
responsibility squarely with me.
that was very, very importantbecause they were applying
(04:45):
boundaries around themselves,their own preservation, they had
had enough.
And therefore, I couldn't lie ordeceive or carry on going
underground.
It was clear that my drinkingwas out of control and they
didn't want to be.
They said, we can't make you doanything, but we don't have to
be around you.
You're doing it, and that wasthe catalyst for
Justine Clark (05:08):
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks, Kate.
I mean, that's difficult to talkabout.
first of all, I just wanted tosay how fabulous you look at 60.
I mean, if I can look half asgood as you, I'll be super
stoked.
And also you mentioned before westarted, run the park run.
Running the park run at 60 isamazing.
That means you've got healthyknees, healthy joints.
We need all that lubrication.
(05:28):
we can't have inflammation inthe body.
And before we get any furtherwith your story, causes
inflammation.
We know this.
It's, it's like from the healthperspective and the fitness
perspective, just removingalcohol makes great gains.
I want to ask about is that thedifficult stuff, like I really
resonate with your story aroundhow and protective, we are
(05:50):
around our drinking.
So to have that covid situationwhere your kind of patterns of
deceiving and hiding and tuckingit away, you, you kind of, it's
much more difficult ifeverybody's on you, especially
if you are living in, in Englandin a, in a smaller house.
It's not like you can, there'snowhere to hide.
It must have felt reallydifficult.
that sensation of feelingtrapped in a pattern knowing you
(06:13):
were being watched.
If you're looking to take backcontrol of your drinking, why
don't you join our AlcoholFreedom Finders 30 day group
program.
It's a great place to start.
Because we approach it as anexperiment, rather than a
challenge.
Whereas, as well as getting agreat detox, you learn the
science and the psychology aboutwhy you're drunk in the first
place.
So whether you want to stopaltogether, or just become a
(06:36):
more mindful and moderatedrinker, why don't you give it a
crack?
Use the link in the show notesto sign up to our next 30 day
program, and you won't regretit.
Because no one ever woke up inthe morning and said, I wish I'd
had more to drink last night,did they?
Back to the episode.
(06:56):
Give me, I would love to hear a more specific
story of that, like is it at theweekend at 3 o'clock and you
know you're wanting to do it butyou have to, I want to hear a
little bit more.
Kate Nichols (07:10):
Yeah, it was horrible because I, I like to
say now that it wasn't theperson I am, person I
organically am.
I, I'm not seefulness and I'mnot someone who hides or lies
or, does all that stuff, butI've become that person.
order to drink the amount Ineeded to drink to get the
effect I needed to get.
(07:31):
We all know you guys and I, inparticular, being coaches about
tolerance, that you build atolerance.
So I could open a bottle ofwine, visibly in the kitchen and
have a glass or two, but thatwasn't enough.
That wasn't going to do it forme.
So I had another bottle going onsomewhere.
And that was, The case fordecades.
I mean, it was decades.
So what would happen is I wouldbe, I'd get sloppy with it.
(07:52):
And my daughter was like onto itand she would follow me and
she'd literally catch me.
Justine Clark (07:58):
Oh!
Kate Nichols (07:59):
I felt like swigging a bottle, a bottle, you
know, from the bottle in thecloset.
And I'm a woman in her fiftiesand there's my daughter.
catching me and I
Justine Clark (08:08):
Good.
Kate Nichols (08:09):
that now because I have come through the other end
and there is no shame there.
There is no judgment.
But the thing is, it was ugly.
And when you see someone youlove so much, and can you
imagine the devastation to seeher mom doing that?
Barry Condon (08:26):
That's fun.
Yeah.
Kate Nichols (08:27):
Yeah.
Barry Condon (08:28):
I mean, that's just given me, you know,
flashbacks.
It, it, it's goosebumps andflashbacks and, and, and I feel
very uncomfortable.
but yeah, no, I completely,resonate unfortunately with
that, that, that, that, that,yeah, having, having, you know,
like my wife used to drink whitewine.
And I drink red, but I'd be athers as well.
Just, just because, you know,she might think that it was her
(08:51):
drinking a bit more than shewas, and, and that, that one of
the things that got me, finallywas, not actually being caught
by my children, but my childrenwere a bit younger and weren't
fully aware of, of, of, how muchof an issue it was, but they
were just.
The looks on their faces when,you know, if I was drunk and,
and the sort of, you know, just,you could see the respect just
(09:14):
drawing out of them.
And
Kate Nichols (09:16):
yeah,
Barry Condon (09:16):
yeah, it's, it's, it's so, it's so powerful.
And, and looking back, it's,it's, it's incredible.
It's just to think, you know, wedidn't realize that there was a
better way, that there was analternative.
We thought that alcohol was thething we needed to be able to
carry on, to be able to dealwith life, to be able to have
fun, to be able to just getthrough.
(09:38):
It seemed to be the thing,seemed to be the solution.
And so getting rid of it justseems so, Yes, it just seems
that, you know, everything,we're on the wrong way around.
so what was your next step?
When you realize, okay, I dohave to do something.
You know, what, what switched inyour mind and what did you, what
step did you take?
Kate Nichols (09:57):
Well, I'm very, I can remember it like it was only
yesterday, but it was three anda half years ago, when my
husband mentioned recovery, Isaid, no way.
I'm not whatever you've got inmind.
I'm not doing that.
No disrespect to any of it.
I, I've not experienced it, butI said, leave it with me.
I'm pretty resourceful.
I love to read.
(10:18):
So I, this is the absolutetruth.
I Googled quitlet.
And I came across this NakedMind, and the reason I was drawn
to it, was because it wasn't, itdidn't mention the word quit.
It was about how to control yourrelationship with alcohol.
And I'll be really honest withyou, at that time, because the
thought of being completelyalcohol free, I couldn't imagine
(10:40):
it.
It was too much.
So I thought I know what I'mgoing to do.
I'm going to be a normaldrinker.
I'm going to learn to be amoderate drinker.
so I read the book and oh mygosh, so this book, Annie
Grace's Naked Mind, it wastalking to me.
She was talking to me,everything about it.
And I was, that's me.
That's me.
You dive into the thoughts andthe beliefs.
(11:01):
And then, Even then I didn'tstop.
I attempted to moderate.
I made promises that I wouldmoderate.
I would wouldn't hide.
I would not do certain thingslike drink before I went out.
I made all these non negotiablesand I had a go very
unsuccessfully to moderate.
I think it lasted about four tosix weeks and at the end of that
(11:24):
husband caught me.
hiding still.
And he said, that was somethingyou said that if you couldn't
stop doing, would seriously,stop.
You, you have to stop.
I knew I had to stop.
And that was it.
And I willingly, I just said,I'm done.
(11:44):
And I, I said, and by the way,so, you know, in the bar,
there's a liquor bottles full ofwater.
And that's another bigadmission.
I said, you know, need to knowit all.
Because I'm done.
And that was it.
And I never drank again.
And then, that was when I gotinto the work.
(12:05):
So I, read The Snake in Mindagain.
I then joined the five daything.
Even though I wasn't drinking,it is.
The snake in mind offerprograms.
I did the five day.
I then joined the path, which isa program.
The snake in mind run.
It's a year long program and Iloved it, but I was one of the,
well, if not the only one, notdrinking and it was an education
(12:27):
and I learned about themethodology we now coach by, and
I just decided I'm just so intothis work.
I want to become a coach andthat was the icing on the cake
for me.
Because I was learning not onlyto be a non drinker, but to be
so happy
Justine Clark (12:45):
Yeah.
Kate Nichols (12:46):
and to be loving life and for everything to be
better and my relationships withmy family completely repaired.
My daughter and I, we talk everyday on the phone now.
They, I've got their respect.
They have seen what I've done.
And it's the gift that keepscoming.
I say that about Alcohol Freed.
And it's the gift that keepscoming because you don't know
(13:10):
What else is going to comethat's going to be great?
And just to your point, justSteve, something you mentioned,
and I'd love to share this very,very quickly.
You talked about, alcoholcausing inflammation.
After three months of beingalcohol free, I got rid of
psoriasis.
I used to have it all over myelbow.
You can see I've got a tiny bitthere, but that was all over
(13:32):
there.
rosacea of condition of my facehigh blood pressure.
Three things disappeared.
and my doctor said to me, causeshe knew what I was doing.
She said, it's because you'vestopped drinking.
So isn't that amazing that youcan, those chronic health
conditions
Justine Clark (13:51):
it is, it is amazing.
And then on the, on the very, ona very vain perspective, from
very vain perspective, we spenda huge amount of money, on, you
know, getting haircuts and doingmakeup and all the things that
we do.
And I was stu stumbled, lastweek on some photos of this
year, last year, this year,three this day, three years ago.
And I, I looked at my face and Ijust felt so sad because not
(14:12):
only did my face look puffy and,bloated, but there's like this.
This is like the sadness behindthe eyes, even though the face
is smiling, because that, that,that battle that we were going
through each day to, present ourbest self, when there's another
battle going on behind thescenes.
and you also spoke to,moderation not being the easiest
(14:35):
thing to do.
I just wanted to mention therethat, I was listening to.
Someone spoke to that yesterdayabout moderation and that we
think that we can, the alcoholcan still be a reward as long as
alcohol
Kate Nichols (14:48):
Mm-hmm
Justine Clark (14:49):
a reward, something that we dangle in
front of us.
It doesn't matter whether wehave days, weeks or months
without it.
There's still this thing thatwe're going, if I'm really good,
this great thing can happen.
So, I know that you know, so Iwant you to talk a little bit
more about it.
What is it about this program,the PATH, or any of the other
(15:09):
programs, or the coaching thatwe provide, that demystifies
moderation being a reward, oralcohol being the reward?
Kate Nichols (15:19):
Well, it's all about the way you think and
believe and for as long as youbelieve alcohol a purpose and
you give it a job to dosomething essential in your
life, while you have thatmindset, call it when it's the
belief around the self level,it's your identity, you're wired
that way in your brain.
(15:40):
And it's my belief.
you will always have that neuralpathway within you.
So having a drink, in myopinion, suddenly, because I'm,
I was fixated with alcohol and Iprobably still am, you know, so
for me, to have a drink once aweek, am I gonna, am I not?
(16:03):
How many?
What if I can't have that drink?
It becomes the cognitivedissonance, which is like the
war in the brain continues andnot in alignment because you're
really wanting that drink still,that treat, whereas you still
believe serves a purpose.
In my opinion, to remove italtogether is when you get
(16:24):
complete freedom, becausethere's no decision making, we
call it decision making fatigue,fixation, when are you going to
drink, when aren't you, andthat's, you can remove that, and
that is removed when you removealcohol altogether.
Barry Condon (16:39):
Yeah, I can, I can, I can, Attest to that.
I mean, I myself, I struggledfor years and years, to try and
moderate and but without knowingany of the science behind it and
and a bit like yourself, Istopped and then went in search
of how do I make this?
Okay, how do I make this right?
And and and look for for for forquick lit and and and found,
(17:02):
Annie Grace quite quickly.
but yeah, I Yeah, I don't know.
I think, I think for, I mean, Iwould like to, to, to, to think
that, and we've had people,through our programs that are
able to, better, moderate theirdrinking and set themselves,
boundaries and non negotiables.
And, but I think, I think, Ithink, Justin has often said
that, yeah, she feels, that onceyou've sort of overstretched,
(17:26):
your boundaries on drinking,it's difficult for to, you know,
a bit like an overstretchedpiece of elastic, that it's not
gonna come back again.
And so for, for, maybe for us,if we've, we've, got the history
that we've had that it's justeasier to, to, to, to say no.
and, and, and, and I guess forme, the ultimate is that the,
the, the process is the sameeither way.
(17:47):
you begin to see.
alcohol for what it is.
and, you stop believing thatit's the be all and end all and
you realize you don't need it tohave fun and you realize it's
taking more than it gives.
And so ultimately the ultimatedestination of that journey is
you will, you, you won't want itat all.
you know, like you said, it's,it's, it's, it's, it's something
(18:07):
we'd like to keep the door openfor because people, it's just
about understanding and beingcurious and, and, from a health
perspective, you know, if yourgoal is to drink less, then this
is the, this is the methodologythat will allow you to drink
less.
put alcohol in a place where itbecomes less and less important
(18:28):
to you and and will facilitate,you know, that process, and
won't make it, you know,something that you're doing on
on the basis of willpower and,just sort of forcing yourself
not to do something.
You're actually, doing somethingelse because that's what you
want.
is that, is that something thatresonates with you at all?
Kate Nichols (18:46):
I, have seen moderation work with people, but
I would say that it's onlypossible if other things are
more important in their lives.
So
Barry Condon (18:56):
Hmm.
Kate Nichols (18:56):
that while the fixation remains, it is very
difficult.
I think it does demand.
Well, I think it does demandwillpower if you are a drinker
like I was, because I wouldalways be wanting that second,
third, fourth drink.
That's me, I'm white, but somepeople can, but my experience of
(19:19):
seeing it work for people iswhen other things are more
important to them, they're ableto put it in its place and they
are able to exercise control.
I personally would find that alot of hard work.
but I can see how it'sattractive because let's face
it, it's societally, peopledrink to socialize, to be with
each other.
It's, it's, you do feel a littlebit like a fish out of water if
(19:41):
you're the only one notdrinking.
You are a bit of an oddballstill.
I mean, that's changing, but itstill can feel like that.
So if you can just have a glassof wine.
But I'm to the point now, afterthree and a half years, I've
just got no interest in having aglass of wine.
Why would I have a glass of wineif it's only going to make me
want to have five?
It's so much easier just to havenone.
(20:03):
but, you know, each to theirown.
And this is about controllingyour relationship with alcohol.
So we don't, as coaches, evertell anybody what to do.
We give them the education andthe knowledge so that they can
inform themselves to make thechoice that's
Justine Clark (20:17):
Oh,
Kate Nichols (20:17):
for
Justine Clark (20:17):
I so agree with that, Kate.
And you talk about, fitnessperspective as well.
And I sort of see us as more of,like personal trainers in the,
in the alcohol space.
So we're actually, we changedthe belief with the program.
So for example, we talk aboutthe, the visceral memory of
gulping the wine in the cupboardthat you talk about and how that
(20:40):
makes us feel.
And we measure that up againstnow going and having a glass of
wine, what that could make usfeel.
For me, the two now, sit side byside.
So there is no part of me thatwould want to have the glass of
wine because I really don't wantto be the person that would,
that would do the other everagain.
So almost instantly, and that'sthe belief transformation,
(21:02):
that's the reframing, that's thecoaching work that we do.
Individually, we sort of helpyou train yourself to one
against the other.
So willpower is no longerimportant.
and also I think with coaching,you talked about feeling like
the, we're still feeling likethe oddball socially.
(21:23):
So we get the big stuff out ofthe way.
We get the, I don't want to, Idon't want to drink out of the
way, but what about fitting insocially?
What about all the, the day today stuff that takes a whole
bunch of, of time?
reframing as well.
How do you feel about, howcoaching can help with the, the
oddball sensation?
I
Kate Nichols (21:54):
staying in your own lane, deciding what you want
to do, and staying true to yourconvictions.
And, Not making anybody elseresponsible for our behavior.
So, I'd say just, it is hard atthe beginning because you feel
so like, you know, the odd fishout of water, the odd, the odd
ball.
You, you feel very strange, butthe more you practice, like, You
(22:16):
know, reps, sober reps, youknow, the more you do it,
experience becomes our teacher,I like to say, so it becomes
more normal and more normal astime goes on.
And if you want to be a nondrinker, you have to navigate
that, that arena.
And, I would say that now I'mvery comfortable with it, but I
still face it.
(22:36):
especially when I go on holiday,say sometimes, in different
cultures, different, differentparts of the world and
everything that, that peoplestill will give you shots or
whatever, join in.
And they, they're offended whenyou don't join in.
It's like they say, they take itpersonally, but I'd say really,
just make your mind up, haveyour, answers ready.
if you're not comfortable sayingyou don't drink, say you, you're
(22:58):
driving or say that you're justtaking a break or have your
ready answers.
But I think it's reallyimportant to stay true and not
to be bullied into peoplepleasing or doing it for anybody
else.
That's the main, message I wouldprobably give.
And before you know it, likeanything, it becomes the norm
and you navigate it smoothlyand, and, and, and because you
(23:20):
just so know that this is, thisis how you want to live.
Barry Condon (23:24):
That's really good.
Really good.
And I think it, it really helps,understanding why you're doing
things and, and, and finding foryourself.
A positive reason why, so you'vegot something to go towards and,
and be happy to be going awayfrom, from, from how alcohol was
treating you and to go towardssomething, something more
rewarding.
so tell us a bit about, youknow, the, the lighter side of
(23:46):
things, how, how has life beensince, since stopping and, and
how has it changed your life?
And I've got a feeling you, you,you've moved and you, you move
around the world, you travel alot.
tell us a bit about that.
Kate Nichols (24:00):
Well, I live in Canada, I'm British, I, I would
say, the traveling thing, Itravel a lot, my husband and I,
we, we've, we've been to Asia,South, South America, Hawaii,
and we've just booked a trip toMarrakesh, we, actually met as
backpackers in Australia back inthe day when we were first
together.
And then we always had a loveof, you know, Well, we were
(24:21):
backpackers.
We were kind of hippie ish, youknow, and, so we always said
when we became empty nesters, wewould try and reignite that,
that type of, of traveling andwe have.
But the reason I'm mentioning itin significance here is that, I
now love holidays, getting upreally, really early with the
sunrises, I want to go to placeswhere I can see the sunrise,
(24:44):
Cambodia.
like that.
and the kind of holidays we havenow are very much experiences
where living as a non, a nondrinker, you really experienced
them, in a healthy way.
when I was newly alcohol free,my husband and I went to Ireland
because we go back to Englandquite a lot and we used to love
the pub culture.
(25:06):
we would, it was a drivingholiday and my husband had us
booked into pubs every night andit wasn't his fault.
I didn't communicate really howthis was going to be an issue
for me because I was very newly,a non drinker.
With no offense, he won't listento this, but I'll say it to you
guys, the listeners, when you'rewith someone in the car 24 7, I
really do not want to sit in apub with them for another three
(25:28):
hours at night while they sitand get drunk.
So I have to say, look, the typeof holidays we're having now, I
want them to be different.
And my husband's such asupporter.
he, his level of drinking is ata different level than mine ever
was.
And he supports me and we dothese holidays where we're kind
of in bed by nine, cause we getup at five 36 and see the
(25:50):
sunrise.
And so a bit of a long windedanswer, but life is so good.
So basically, well, selfdevelopment training to become a
coach, doing something that Iwould never thought.
I was capable of, so, myability, my public speaking.
I speak on panels.
I do things like this, myrelationship with my kids and my
(26:13):
friends who, support me.
Not all of them do like it, butmost of them do, is just
phenomenal.
And, I'd say I, I like myself.
I look better.
everything is better.
Whereas when I was a drinker, Iwas out of balance in that I,
well, I self loathed.
I knew I was damaging myself.
(26:36):
I probably would have done someserious damage had I carried on
drinking.
I probably wouldn't have arelationship with my daughter.
I don't know about my marriage.
whereas now I've got suchpurpose.
I've met so many wonderfulpeople, even like yourselves,
you know, and everything is,it's just so, I just can't wait
(26:56):
to get up in the morning,everything.
And then of course you feel sowell because you, you you have
enthusiasm, you're, you're thewellest you can be, you're,
you're optimal best.
touch wood because, our healthis a gift, know, but, well, we
are healthy.
It, it, it's a bonus for sure.
It really is.
So you can tell how it, howenthusiastic I am
Justine Clark (27:19):
totally can tell how enthusiastic you are and I
resonate, I resonate with thatso much as well.
I mean, who thinks about whenthey're planning the holiday?
about waking up every morningwith a stinking hangover and
feeling slightly groggy.
Actually, we probably all wantto be planning the beautiful
sunrise and the amazing sunset,but the reality of holidays in
(27:39):
the past was probably more thelatter.
You know, waking up feeling abit, Oh God, I've got to push
through this because I'm onholiday.
I've got to make the most of it.
But being on holiday alsoincludes the rewards of drinking
at the end.
So removing that, using thecoaching and the community.
And I think the coaching and thecommunity is what gives us the
(28:00):
strength to flex these newmuscles.
It's like personal training, asI said earlier, because it's
hard to do it alone.
All three of us have found oursuccess by, by being in
community.
So, no matter how our audienceare going to find community,
finding people, finding ways,finding activities that, that
(28:21):
take us away from the oldwatering holes and looking
towards the, the Cambodiansunrises, you know, that
certainly is the way forward forme.
And that's, that's the magic,that's the gold.
Kate, we're getting to that timewhere it's time to ask you what
three words would you have forus, about becoming an alcohol
freedom finder.
Kate Nichols (28:44):
Right.
So I thought about this and,three words really, stick out to
me.
So one is freedom.
my coaching is Freedom Effect.
That's, that is the name of mycoaching because I feel that it
is liberating and freeing.
There's nothing, there's nodeprivation.
It's freedom.
the other one is health becauseI incorporate, I'm also a
(29:04):
fitness instructor, but healthis everything to me.
So health and wellness is veryimportant, but the most
important, probably one for mepersonally, is relationships.
So I'd say freedom, health andrelationships, because my
relationships have beentransformed, as a result of me
not drinking, especially with myfamily, who are the most
important people to me.
(29:25):
So that is, has been just the,the, the icing on the cake.
It really has.
Barry Condon (29:31):
That's brilliant.
I think they might be my threewords as well.
I don't know.
I'm not really actually come upwith my own ones, but that those
have got to be pretty close.
Really, really good.
It's been great having you onKate.
let people know where they canfind you and what sort of
services, you offer as a coach.
Kate Nichols (29:46):
Okay, great.
Well, my website is got all mysocial handles on so I'm a
freedom affect that isimportant.
affect.
So not effect.
So freedom affect.
A F F E C T.
I've got my Instagram on there.
That's Kate, sobriety andfitness.
As for my coaching, I'm a one onone coach, but recently I have
(30:06):
communities as well.
I have a free community.
you can find that on my website,which I just really offer,
space, Zoom space and meetingspace for people, to come on and
chat.
And then I have, other,community, another community as
well.
So, yeah.
Yeah, I love this work.
I feel very gifted that I'm ableto do it and I would just love
(30:29):
to help anybody who seesthemselves in my story or would
like to reach out.
It would be a privilege for meto talk to you.
Justine Clark (30:39):
Kate.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
It's a pleasure talking with you
Barry Condon (30:43):
Yeah.
Thanks very much, Kate.
Kate Nichols (30:44):
for having
Barry Condon (30:45):
See you again soon.
Kate Nichols (30:46):
Thank you.
This is Alcohol Freedom Finders.
In this episode, we meet coachKate Nichols, a Brit living in
Canada, who before findingfreedom from alcohol and
becoming a coach herself, sawherself as a happy social
drinker.
But that was before a familyintervention during COVID
lockdown made us see thatswigging wine from a, from
secretly stashed bottles in thecloset wasn't quite as innocent
(00:24):
as she'd been trying to make outto herself.
Although the idea of notdrinking terrified her at first,
she quickly found the This NakedMind methodology, and that
changed her life, herrelationships, and gave her the
freedom she didn't even realizeshe was missing.
Let's jump in.
Justine Clark (00:41):
Welcome everybody with Coach Justine and Coach
Barry.
We're really excited this weekto have Coach Kate Nichols on
the Alcohol Freedom Finders.
Kate is also a This Naked Mindcoach, so we're super excited to
hear her perspective and alittle bit more about her
journey.
Barry Condon (01:02):
Hi Kate, great to see you.
let me just jump straight inwith a question.
I'd like to just, why don't you,introduce yourself and tell us a
little bit about how you foundalcohol freedom yourself.
Kate Nichols (01:13):
Yeah.
Well, hi, Justine and Barry.
Thank you for having me.
It's really nice to be here.
so I'm coach Kate Nichols andI'm also a This Naked Mind coach
like yourselves.
I, my.
change my, my, my decision toquestion my relationship with
alcohol came about in 2021,when, during COVID, I noticed
(01:34):
that my drinking was, increasingand it was becoming very
important for me to get alcohol.
When we weren't going out much.
So, I noticed that my needaround the desire to drink,
changed at that point.
And that's really when I startedto, to question, my relationship
with that.
Justine Clark (01:53):
That's such a common thing.
I mean, how many peoplestruggled with, with alcohol
during COVID?
So you speak to the massesthere.
So, you know, you, you noticedthe problem.
What did you do about it?
Kate Nichols (02:05):
Well, my family were a very big part of my
decision making.
I think, I've got two grown upkids.
They're now 26 and 24.
And they were at home when theywouldn't ordinarily have been
because of COVID.
And they were witnessing mydrinking, which was at home.
It wasn't sociable.
It was just Drinking, and they,and their dad, my husband, who
(02:26):
my husband does like to drinkstill, he, he'd always pretty
much ignored my drinking, eventhough I think he probably knew
it was a bit out of balance.
But I think the three of thembeing at home, three adults
being at home, and the fact weweren't going out and the nature
of my drinking had become quiteclear to them that, I was,
behaving in a way that wasconcerning for them.
(02:47):
So they, they did intervene andbasically asked me to, to get
some, some kind of help really.
So that was the turning pointfor me to actually do something
about it.
Barry Condon (03:00):
Wow, that's, that must have been, that must have
been hard.
I mean, how, how did you comethrough that period?
were you, were you ready to, to,to accept their, their, advice
or, or, or the intervention or,or was it?
Was it difficult to begin with?
Kate Nichols (03:14):
was very difficult because I, well, I'm, I was 57
when I stopped drinking.
I'm 60 now, and I was someonewho never had a journey of
trying to stop.
I was a happy drinker.
I was a social drinker.
I was aware that my drinkingwas, You know, I was drinking on
my own.
I wasn't, you know, I obviouslyknew, but I was a social drinker
(03:37):
as well.
I mean, I drank because I felthappy.
So I really had never addressedit.
And when they cornered me, whichis the only way to describe it,
it was very difficult because I,like many of us, alcohol, I'd
given alcohol a job.
I really depended on it.
The idea of giving it up wasterrifying and, I suddenly saw
(04:01):
my life ahead in a verydifferent way, but like they
were serious about, me gettingsome kind of help, to the point
that I was, with my daughter waspretty dire.
I probably wouldn't be having arelationship with her now.
and my husband, he, he reallyhad had enough.
I mean, he was talking not ofseparating, but he was talking
(04:23):
about removing himself from thehouse at the weekends, which is
when most of my drinking,happened.
So I was very cornered.
I probably wouldn't have doneanything if that wasn't the
case, there and then.
And one thing I like to say thathappened is that they put the
responsibility squarely with me.
that was very, very importantbecause they were applying
(04:45):
boundaries around themselves,their own preservation, they had
had enough.
And therefore, I couldn't lie ordeceive or carry on going
underground.
It was clear that my drinkingwas out of control and they
didn't want to be.
They said, we can't make you doanything, but we don't have to
be around you.
You're doing it, and that wasthe catalyst for
Justine Clark (05:08):
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks, Kate.
I mean, that's difficult to talkabout.
first of all, I just wanted tosay how fabulous you look at 60.
I mean, if I can look half asgood as you, I'll be super
stoked.
And also you mentioned before westarted, run the park run.
Running the park run at 60 isamazing.
That means you've got healthyknees, healthy joints.
We need all that lubrication.
(05:28):
we can't have inflammation inthe body.
And before we get any furtherwith your story, causes
inflammation.
We know this.
It's, it's like from the healthperspective and the fitness
perspective, just removingalcohol makes great gains.
I want to ask about is that thedifficult stuff, like I really
resonate with your story aroundhow and protective, we are
(05:50):
around our drinking.
So to have that covid situationwhere your kind of patterns of
deceiving and hiding and tuckingit away, you, you kind of, it's
much more difficult ifeverybody's on you, especially
if you are living in, in Englandin a, in a smaller house.
It's not like you can, there'snowhere to hide.
It must have felt reallydifficult.
that sensation of feelingtrapped in a pattern knowing you
(06:13):
were being watched.
If you're looking to take backcontrol of your drinking, why
don't you join our AlcoholFreedom Finders 30 day group
program.
It's a great place to start.
Because we approach it as anexperiment, rather than a
challenge.
Whereas, as well as getting agreat detox, you learn the
science and the psychology aboutwhy you're drunk in the first
place.
So whether you want to stopaltogether, or just become a
(06:36):
more mindful and moderatedrinker, why don't you give it a
crack?
Use the link in the show notesto sign up to our next 30 day
program, and you won't regretit.
Because no one ever woke up inthe morning and said, I wish I'd
had more to drink last night,did they?
Back to the episode.
(06:56):
Give me, I would love to hear a more specific
story of that, like is it at theweekend at 3 o'clock and you
know you're wanting to do it butyou have to, I want to hear a
little bit more.
Kate Nichols (07:10):
Yeah, it was horrible because I, I like to
say now that it wasn't theperson I am, person I
organically am.
I, I'm not seefulness and I'mnot someone who hides or lies
or, does all that stuff, butI've become that person.
order to drink the amount Ineeded to drink to get the
effect I needed to get.
(07:31):
We all know you guys and I, inparticular, being coaches about
tolerance, that you build atolerance.
So I could open a bottle ofwine, visibly in the kitchen and
have a glass or two, but thatwasn't enough.
That wasn't going to do it forme.
So I had another bottle going onsomewhere.
And that was, The case fordecades.
I mean, it was decades.
So what would happen is I wouldbe, I'd get sloppy with it.
(07:52):
And my daughter was like onto itand she would follow me and
she'd literally catch me.
Justine Clark (07:58):
Oh!
Kate Nichols (07:59):
I felt like swigging a bottle, a bottle, you
know, from the bottle in thecloset.
And I'm a woman in her fiftiesand there's my daughter.
catching me and I
Justine Clark (08:08):
Good.
Kate Nichols (08:09):
that now because I have come through the other end
and there is no shame there.
There is no judgment.
But the thing is, it was ugly.
And when you see someone youlove so much, and can you
imagine the devastation to seeher mom doing that?
Barry Condon (08:26):
That's fun.
Yeah.
Kate Nichols (08:27):
Yeah.
Barry Condon (08:28):
I mean, that's just given me, you know,
flashbacks.
It, it, it's goosebumps andflashbacks and, and, and I feel
very uncomfortable.
but yeah, no, I completely,resonate unfortunately with
that, that, that, that, that,yeah, having, having, you know,
like my wife used to drink whitewine.
And I drink red, but I'd be athers as well.
Just, just because, you know,she might think that it was her
(08:51):
drinking a bit more than shewas, and, and that, that one of
the things that got me, finallywas, not actually being caught
by my children, but my childrenwere a bit younger and weren't
fully aware of, of, of, how muchof an issue it was, but they
were just.
The looks on their faces when,you know, if I was drunk and,
and the sort of, you know, just,you could see the respect just
(09:14):
drawing out of them.
And
Kate Nichols (09:16):
yeah,
Barry Condon (09:16):
yeah, it's, it's, it's so, it's so powerful.
And, and looking back, it's,it's, it's incredible.
It's just to think, you know, wedidn't realize that there was a
better way, that there was analternative.
We thought that alcohol was thething we needed to be able to
carry on, to be able to dealwith life, to be able to have
fun, to be able to just getthrough.
(09:38):
It seemed to be the thing,seemed to be the solution.
And so getting rid of it justseems so, Yes, it just seems
that, you know, everything,we're on the wrong way around.
so what was your next step?
When you realize, okay, I dohave to do something.
You know, what, what switched inyour mind and what did you, what
step did you take?
Kate Nichols (09:57):
Well, I'm very, I can remember it like it was only
yesterday, but it was three anda half years ago, when my
husband mentioned recovery, Isaid, no way.
I'm not whatever you've got inmind.
I'm not doing that.
No disrespect to any of it.
I, I've not experienced it, butI said, leave it with me.
I'm pretty resourceful.
I love to read.
(10:18):
So I, this is the absolutetruth.
I Googled quitlet.
And I came across this NakedMind, and the reason I was drawn
to it, was because it wasn't, itdidn't mention the word quit.
It was about how to control yourrelationship with alcohol.
And I'll be really honest withyou, at that time, because the
thought of being completelyalcohol free, I couldn't imagine
(10:40):
it.
It was too much.
So I thought I know what I'mgoing to do.
I'm going to be a normaldrinker.
I'm going to learn to be amoderate drinker.
so I read the book and oh mygosh, so this book, Annie
Grace's Naked Mind, it wastalking to me.
She was talking to me,everything about it.
And I was, that's me.
That's me.
You dive into the thoughts andthe beliefs.
(11:01):
And then, Even then I didn'tstop.
I attempted to moderate.
I made promises that I wouldmoderate.
I would wouldn't hide.
I would not do certain thingslike drink before I went out.
I made all these non negotiablesand I had a go very
unsuccessfully to moderate.
I think it lasted about four tosix weeks and at the end of that
(11:24):
husband caught me.
hiding still.
And he said, that was somethingyou said that if you couldn't
stop doing, would seriously,stop.
You, you have to stop.
I knew I had to stop.
And that was it.
And I willingly, I just said,I'm done.
(11:44):
And I, I said, and by the way,so, you know, in the bar,
there's a liquor bottles full ofwater.
And that's another bigadmission.
I said, you know, need to knowit all.
Because I'm done.
And that was it.
And I never drank again.
And then, that was when I gotinto the work.
(12:05):
So I, read The Snake in Mindagain.
I then joined the five daything.
Even though I wasn't drinking,it is.
The snake in mind offerprograms.
I did the five day.
I then joined the path, which isa program.
The snake in mind run.
It's a year long program and Iloved it, but I was one of the,
well, if not the only one, notdrinking and it was an education
(12:27):
and I learned about themethodology we now coach by, and
I just decided I'm just so intothis work.
I want to become a coach andthat was the icing on the cake
for me.
Because I was learning not onlyto be a non drinker, but to be
so happy
Justine Clark (12:45):
Yeah.
Kate Nichols (12:46):
and to be loving life and for everything to be
better and my relationships withmy family completely repaired.
My daughter and I, we talk everyday on the phone now.
They, I've got their respect.
They have seen what I've done.
And it's the gift that keepscoming.
I say that about Alcohol Freed.
And it's the gift that keepscoming because you don't know
(13:10):
What else is going to comethat's going to be great?
And just to your point, justSteve, something you mentioned,
and I'd love to share this very,very quickly.
You talked about, alcoholcausing inflammation.
After three months of beingalcohol free, I got rid of
psoriasis.
I used to have it all over myelbow.
You can see I've got a tiny bitthere, but that was all over
(13:32):
there.
rosacea of condition of my facehigh blood pressure.
Three things disappeared.
and my doctor said to me, causeshe knew what I was doing.
She said, it's because you'vestopped drinking.
So isn't that amazing that youcan, those chronic health
conditions
Justine Clark (13:51):
it is, it is amazing.
And then on the, on the very, ona very vain perspective, from
very vain perspective, we spenda huge amount of money, on, you
know, getting haircuts and doingmakeup and all the things that
we do.
And I was stu stumbled, lastweek on some photos of this
year, last year, this year,three this day, three years ago.
And I, I looked at my face and Ijust felt so sad because not
(14:12):
only did my face look puffy and,bloated, but there's like this.
This is like the sadness behindthe eyes, even though the face
is smiling, because that, that,that battle that we were going
through each day to, present ourbest self, when there's another
battle going on behind thescenes.
and you also spoke to,moderation not being the easiest
(14:35):
thing to do.
I just wanted to mention therethat, I was listening to.
Someone spoke to that yesterdayabout moderation and that we
think that we can, the alcoholcan still be a reward as long as
alcohol
Kate Nichols (14:48):
Mm-hmm
Justine Clark (14:49):
a reward, something that we dangle in
front of us.
It doesn't matter whether wehave days, weeks or months
without it.
There's still this thing thatwe're going, if I'm really good,
this great thing can happen.
So, I know that you know, so Iwant you to talk a little bit
more about it.
What is it about this program,the PATH, or any of the other
(15:09):
programs, or the coaching thatwe provide, that demystifies
moderation being a reward, oralcohol being the reward?
Kate Nichols (15:19):
Well, it's all about the way you think and
believe and for as long as youbelieve alcohol a purpose and
you give it a job to dosomething essential in your
life, while you have thatmindset, call it when it's the
belief around the self level,it's your identity, you're wired
that way in your brain.
(15:40):
And it's my belief.
you will always have that neuralpathway within you.
So having a drink, in myopinion, suddenly, because I'm,
I was fixated with alcohol and Iprobably still am, you know, so
for me, to have a drink once aweek, am I gonna, am I not?
(16:03):
How many?
What if I can't have that drink?
It becomes the cognitivedissonance, which is like the
war in the brain continues andnot in alignment because you're
really wanting that drink still,that treat, whereas you still
believe serves a purpose.
In my opinion, to remove italtogether is when you get
(16:24):
complete freedom, becausethere's no decision making, we
call it decision making fatigue,fixation, when are you going to
drink, when aren't you, andthat's, you can remove that, and
that is removed when you removealcohol altogether.
Barry Condon (16:39):
Yeah, I can, I can, I can, Attest to that.
I mean, I myself, I struggledfor years and years, to try and
moderate and but without knowingany of the science behind it and
and a bit like yourself, Istopped and then went in search
of how do I make this?
Okay, how do I make this right?
And and and look for for for forquick lit and and and found,
(17:02):
Annie Grace quite quickly.
but yeah, I Yeah, I don't know.
I think, I think for, I mean, Iwould like to, to, to, to think
that, and we've had people,through our programs that are
able to, better, moderate theirdrinking and set themselves,
boundaries and non negotiables.
And, but I think, I think, Ithink, Justin has often said
that, yeah, she feels, that onceyou've sort of overstretched,
(17:26):
your boundaries on drinking,it's difficult for to, you know,
a bit like an overstretchedpiece of elastic, that it's not
gonna come back again.
And so for, for, maybe for us,if we've, we've, got the history
that we've had that it's justeasier to, to, to, to say no.
and, and, and, and I guess forme, the ultimate is that the,
the, the process is the sameeither way.
(17:47):
you begin to see.
alcohol for what it is.
and, you stop believing thatit's the be all and end all and
you realize you don't need it tohave fun and you realize it's
taking more than it gives.
And so ultimately the ultimatedestination of that journey is
you will, you, you won't want itat all.
you know, like you said, it's,it's, it's, it's, it's something
(18:07):
we'd like to keep the door openfor because people, it's just
about understanding and beingcurious and, and, from a health
perspective, you know, if yourgoal is to drink less, then this
is the, this is the methodologythat will allow you to drink
less.
put alcohol in a place where itbecomes less and less important
(18:28):
to you and and will facilitate,you know, that process, and
won't make it, you know,something that you're doing on
on the basis of willpower and,just sort of forcing yourself
not to do something.
You're actually, doing somethingelse because that's what you
want.
is that, is that something thatresonates with you at all?
Kate Nichols (18:46):
I, have seen moderation work with people, but
I would say that it's onlypossible if other things are
more important in their lives.
So
Barry Condon (18:56):
Hmm.
Kate Nichols (18:56):
that while the fixation remains, it is very
difficult.
I think it does demand.
Well, I think it does demandwillpower if you are a drinker
like I was, because I wouldalways be wanting that second,
third, fourth drink.
That's me, I'm white, but somepeople can, but my experience of
(19:19):
seeing it work for people iswhen other things are more
important to them, they're ableto put it in its place and they
are able to exercise control.
I personally would find that alot of hard work.
but I can see how it'sattractive because let's face
it, it's societally, peopledrink to socialize, to be with
each other.
It's, it's, you do feel a littlebit like a fish out of water if
(19:41):
you're the only one notdrinking.
You are a bit of an oddballstill.
I mean, that's changing, but itstill can feel like that.
So if you can just have a glassof wine.
But I'm to the point now, afterthree and a half years, I've
just got no interest in having aglass of wine.
Why would I have a glass of wineif it's only going to make me
want to have five?
It's so much easier just to havenone.
(20:03):
but, you know, each to theirown.
And this is about controllingyour relationship with alcohol.
So we don't, as coaches, evertell anybody what to do.
We give them the education andthe knowledge so that they can
inform themselves to make thechoice that's
Justine Clark (20:17):
Oh,
Kate Nichols (20:17):
for
Justine Clark (20:17):
I so agree with that, Kate.
And you talk about, fitnessperspective as well.
And I sort of see us as more of,like personal trainers in the,
in the alcohol space.
So we're actually, we changedthe belief with the program.
So for example, we talk aboutthe, the visceral memory of
gulping the wine in the cupboardthat you talk about and how that
(20:40):
makes us feel.
And we measure that up againstnow going and having a glass of
wine, what that could make usfeel.
For me, the two now, sit side byside.
So there is no part of me thatwould want to have the glass of
wine because I really don't wantto be the person that would,
that would do the other everagain.
So almost instantly, and that'sthe belief transformation,
(21:02):
that's the reframing, that's thecoaching work that we do.
Individually, we sort of helpyou train yourself to one
against the other.
So willpower is no longerimportant.
and also I think with coaching,you talked about feeling like
the, we're still feeling likethe oddball socially.
(21:23):
So we get the big stuff out ofthe way.
We get the, I don't want to, Idon't want to drink out of the
way, but what about fitting insocially?
What about all the, the day today stuff that takes a whole
bunch of, of time?
reframing as well.
How do you feel about, howcoaching can help with the, the
oddball sensation?
I
Kate Nichols (21:54):
staying in your own lane, deciding what you want
to do, and staying true to yourconvictions.
And, Not making anybody elseresponsible for our behavior.
So, I'd say just, it is hard atthe beginning because you feel
so like, you know, the odd fishout of water, the odd, the odd
ball.
You, you feel very strange, butthe more you practice, like, You
(22:16):
know, reps, sober reps, youknow, the more you do it,
experience becomes our teacher,I like to say, so it becomes
more normal and more normal astime goes on.
And if you want to be a nondrinker, you have to navigate
that, that arena.
And, I would say that now I'mvery comfortable with it, but I
still face it.
(22:36):
especially when I go on holiday,say sometimes, in different
cultures, different, differentparts of the world and
everything that, that peoplestill will give you shots or
whatever, join in.
And they, they're offended whenyou don't join in.
It's like they say, they take itpersonally, but I'd say really,
just make your mind up, haveyour, answers ready.
if you're not comfortable sayingyou don't drink, say you, you're
(22:58):
driving or say that you're justtaking a break or have your
ready answers.
But I think it's reallyimportant to stay true and not
to be bullied into peoplepleasing or doing it for anybody
else.
That's the main, message I wouldprobably give.
And before you know it, likeanything, it becomes the norm
and you navigate it smoothlyand, and, and, and because you
(23:20):
just so know that this is, thisis how you want to live.
Barry Condon (23:24):
That's really good.
Really good.
And I think it, it really helps,understanding why you're doing
things and, and, and finding foryourself.
A positive reason why, so you'vegot something to go towards and,
and be happy to be going awayfrom, from, from how alcohol was
treating you and to go towardssomething, something more
rewarding.
so tell us a bit about, youknow, the, the lighter side of
(23:46):
things, how, how has life beensince, since stopping and, and
how has it changed your life?
And I've got a feeling you, you,you've moved and you, you move
around the world, you travel alot.
tell us a bit about that.
Kate Nichols (24:00):
Well, I live in Canada, I'm British, I, I would
say, the traveling thing, Itravel a lot, my husband and I,
we, we've, we've been to Asia,South, South America, Hawaii,
and we've just booked a trip toMarrakesh, we, actually met as
backpackers in Australia back inthe day when we were first
together.
And then we always had a loveof, you know, Well, we were
(24:21):
backpackers.
We were kind of hippie ish, youknow, and, so we always said
when we became empty nesters, wewould try and reignite that,
that type of, of traveling andwe have.
But the reason I'm mentioning itin significance here is that, I
now love holidays, getting upreally, really early with the
sunrises, I want to go to placeswhere I can see the sunrise,
(24:44):
Cambodia.
like that.
and the kind of holidays we havenow are very much experiences
where living as a non, a nondrinker, you really experienced
them, in a healthy way.
when I was newly alcohol free,my husband and I went to Ireland
because we go back to Englandquite a lot and we used to love
the pub culture.
(25:06):
we would, it was a drivingholiday and my husband had us
booked into pubs every night andit wasn't his fault.
I didn't communicate really howthis was going to be an issue
for me because I was very newly,a non drinker.
With no offense, he won't listento this, but I'll say it to you
guys, the listeners, when you'rewith someone in the car 24 7, I
really do not want to sit in apub with them for another three
(25:28):
hours at night while they sitand get drunk.
So I have to say, look, the typeof holidays we're having now, I
want them to be different.
And my husband's such asupporter.
he, his level of drinking is ata different level than mine ever
was.
And he supports me and we dothese holidays where we're kind
of in bed by nine, cause we getup at five 36 and see the
(25:50):
sunrise.
And so a bit of a long windedanswer, but life is so good.
So basically, well, selfdevelopment training to become a
coach, doing something that Iwould never thought.
I was capable of, so, myability, my public speaking.
I speak on panels.
I do things like this, myrelationship with my kids and my
(26:13):
friends who, support me.
Not all of them do like it, butmost of them do, is just
phenomenal.
And, I'd say I, I like myself.
I look better.
everything is better.
Whereas when I was a drinker, Iwas out of balance in that I,
well, I self loathed.
I knew I was damaging myself.
(26:36):
I probably would have done someserious damage had I carried on
drinking.
I probably wouldn't have arelationship with my daughter.
I don't know about my marriage.
whereas now I've got suchpurpose.
I've met so many wonderfulpeople, even like yourselves,
you know, and everything is,it's just so, I just can't wait
(26:56):
to get up in the morning,everything.
And then of course you feel sowell because you, you you have
enthusiasm, you're, you're thewellest you can be, you're,
you're optimal best.
touch wood because, our healthis a gift, know, but, well, we
are healthy.
It, it, it's a bonus for sure.
It really is.
So you can tell how it, howenthusiastic I am
Justine Clark (27:19):
totally can tell how enthusiastic you are and I
resonate, I resonate with thatso much as well.
I mean, who thinks about whenthey're planning the holiday?
about waking up every morningwith a stinking hangover and
feeling slightly groggy.
Actually, we probably all wantto be planning the beautiful
sunrise and the amazing sunset,but the reality of holidays in
(27:39):
the past was probably more thelatter.
You know, waking up feeling abit, Oh God, I've got to push
through this because I'm onholiday.
I've got to make the most of it.
But being on holiday alsoincludes the rewards of drinking
at the end.
So removing that, using thecoaching and the community.
And I think the coaching and thecommunity is what gives us the
(28:00):
strength to flex these newmuscles.
It's like personal training, asI said earlier, because it's
hard to do it alone.
All three of us have found oursuccess by, by being in
community.
So, no matter how our audienceare going to find community,
finding people, finding ways,finding activities that, that
(28:21):
take us away from the oldwatering holes and looking
towards the, the Cambodiansunrises, you know, that
certainly is the way forward forme.
And that's, that's the magic,that's the gold.
Kate, we're getting to that timewhere it's time to ask you what
three words would you have forus, about becoming an alcohol
freedom finder.
Kate Nichols (28:44):
Right.
So I thought about this and,three words really, stick out to
me.
So one is freedom.
my coaching is Freedom Effect.
That's, that is the name of mycoaching because I feel that it
is liberating and freeing.
There's nothing, there's nodeprivation.
It's freedom.
the other one is health becauseI incorporate, I'm also a
(29:04):
fitness instructor, but healthis everything to me.
So health and wellness is veryimportant, but the most
important, probably one for mepersonally, is relationships.
So I'd say freedom, health andrelationships, because my
relationships have beentransformed, as a result of me
not drinking, especially with myfamily, who are the most
important people to me.
(29:25):
So that is, has been just the,the, the icing on the cake.
It really has.
Barry Condon (29:31):
That's brilliant.
I think they might be my threewords as well.
I don't know.
I'm not really actually come upwith my own ones, but that those
have got to be pretty close.
Really, really good.
It's been great having you onKate.
let people know where they canfind you and what sort of
services, you offer as a coach.
Kate Nichols (29:46):
Okay, great.
Well, my website is got all mysocial handles on so I'm a
freedom affect that isimportant.
affect.
So not effect.
So freedom affect.
A F F E C T.
I've got my Instagram on there.
That's Kate, sobriety andfitness.
As for my coaching, I'm a one onone coach, but recently I have
(30:06):
communities as well.
I have a free community.
you can find that on my website,which I just really offer,
space, Zoom space and meetingspace for people, to come on and
chat.
And then I have, other,community, another community as
well.
So, yeah.
Yeah, I love this work.
I feel very gifted that I'm ableto do it and I would just love
(30:29):
to help anybody who seesthemselves in my story or would
like to reach out.
It would be a privilege for meto talk to you.
Justine Clark (30:39):
Kate.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
It's a pleasure talking with you
Barry Condon (30:43):
Yeah.
Thanks very much, Kate.
Kate Nichols (30:44):
for having
Barry Condon (30:45):
See you again soon.
Kate Nichols (30:46):
Thank you.
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