December 6, 2024 • 30 mins
In this episode, you'll meet Martha, whose life as an on call midwife kept her drinking under control. But when she retired, those guardrails evaporated. And when COVID lockdown hit, like so many other people, she found herself drinking more than she'd ever wanted to. Fed up with the cycle of frustration and shame, her journey to alcohol freedom began with an Instagram post about the science led, compassionate approach of the This Naked Mind methodology, in which Justine and I are both certified coaches.
It was the promise that her situation wasn't her fault that gave her the courage to sign up to a coaching programme that would change the trajectory of her life forever
Martha Redpath
https://www.providerspacecoaching.com/
https://www.instagram.com/providerspace/
Our 30-day group programme:
https://www.cleanlifecoaching.org/aff-group
The podcast home page
https://podcast.alcoholfreedomfinders.com/
Justine Clark
https://justineclarktherapy.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/wellwithjustine/
Barry Condon
https://www.cleanlifecoaching.org/
https://www.instagram.com/clean.life.coaching/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/barry-condon-577b85294/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This is Alcohol Freedom Finders.
(00:02):
In this episode, you'll meetMartha, whose life as an on call
midwife kept her drinking undercontrol.
But when she retired, thoseguardrails evaporated.
And when COVID lockdown hit,like so many other people, she
found herself drinking more thanshe'd ever wanted to.
Fed up with the cycle offrustration and shame, her
journey to alcohol freedom beganwith an Instagram post about the
(00:23):
science led, compassionateapproach of the This Naked Mind
methodology, in which Justineand I are both certified
coaches.
It was the promise that hersituation wasn't her fault that
gave her the courage to sign upto a coaching programme that
would change the trajectory ofher life forever.
Let's jump in.
Barry Condon (00:41):
Okay.
Welcome to, Alcohol FreedomFinders.
This episode we're reallyexcited to have with us.
Martha Redpath, a coach from theUnited States, she's a friend of
ours.
We trained together, as coacheswith this naked mind.
she's a, been a midwife for,for, or at least was a midwife
for 30 years.
(01:02):
midwife and a nurse and is,specializing in trying to, help,
healthcare professionals andmidwives and, and, and anyone in
that space who's struggling, tokeep a lid on, the amount that
they drink.
and without further ado, I'dlike to say hi to Martha
Martha Redpath (01:18):
Hi, Barry.
Hi, Justine.
I'm so honored to be here.
What a privilege.
Justine Clark (01:23):
And we're so blessed to have you with us
Martha, I can't wait to hearmore about your journey.
I gravitate towards you, I'vealways gravitated towards you,
but we've never had time to sitand explore your specific
journey and what led you to thisnaked mind in the first place
and now becoming alcohol freeand an alcohol free coach.
Martha Redpath (01:43):
Well, it's been quite a journey for, me.
It's been a bit of a simmeringpot that, my alcohol journey
sort of gradually increased.
I had these lovely boundaries ofcall.
So as a midwife, I was verydetermined not to be over
drinking when I was on call.
And some days I.
(02:04):
Would come home at the end of mycall and have the big glass of
red wine there, but it was quitemoderated and contained.
And then, what happened is thatwhen I retired those guardrails
left, and then when COVIDoccurred yet another guardrail
left because I didn't, wasn'tdriving anywhere.
So I was the person who was verycautious.
(02:25):
about, not over drinking inpublic, being the designated
driver, only two drinks.
And then I'd go home if I wasn'ton call, finish the bottle of
wine.
and so a lot of it was in.
The shame of hiding for me was abit, a big part of my story.
(02:46):
And, I found this naked mindwhen I was instant on Instagram,
surprisingly.
we typically do dry January.
And so it was, January of 2022.
So post COVID post realizingsuddenly I was drinking a bottle
of wine at night.
Sometimes more than that andfeeling sick, beating myself up.
(03:07):
Not quite sure what I wanted todo.
and then I saw this Instagramabout compassion.
It wasn't my fault.
That this is such an addictivesubstance.
All of society is promoting itand thinking it's the best thing
in the world.
I, I thought, Oh, I I've, I'vetried this.
I can do 30 days think I'm donemoderation.
(03:28):
Great.
And then I'm back even more, Iwas thinking about it more.
It was in my head so much more.
That I was drinking more.
And I thought I kept getting theemails about the path, the path,
the path.
And I thought, Oh, for goodnesssakes, Martha, push the button
and try it in that heartpounding.
Oh, what does that mean that Ineed help?
I'm so nervous about this.
Just push the button and becourageous and go for it.
(03:51):
And, and I just found this.
kindness.
I found this compassion.
I found this place whereeveryone from all over the
world, all differentbackgrounds, all different
experiences were sharing theirtrue stories.
And I could be authentic and letdown my guard, not try to
impress anybody.
Not try to keep, you know,containers around what, what did
(04:13):
people think of me?
I'm the midwife in thecommunity.
Everybody knows me.
What's my reputation.
Didn't have to worry about anyof that.
And
Barry Condon (04:19):
the, for the, for the people that don't know the,
the path is the, maybe you couldtell people what the path is.
Martha Redpath (04:26):
yeah, so at that point in time, it was a three
month coaching program in alarge group of people from all
over the world.
And it, it took us through a lotof information about, of all,
stop trying to stop drinking,learn about it, become aware,
very much mindfulness, and I'vehad a.
Meditation practice for years.
(04:47):
So that really hooked me inabout mindfulness and then try a
period of time of not drinking,see how that was in the
meantime, learning, learning,learning, learning all about the
science.
And for me, that evidence basedstuff was the hook.
I loved the science of it and itconvinced me, okay, we'll try
another month.
Okay.
(05:07):
Try another month.
And I just got curious about,wow, this substance is wrecking
my life in many ways.
What would it be if I didn't,what would it be if I went on
holiday with all of my familyand not drank, couldn't imagine
it before, what would it be if Iwent through Thanksgiving,
Christmas?
And so it just increased slowly,slowly, slowly.
(05:28):
And I've felt so much betterhealth wise.
Emotionally, every way in theworld.
And so that was it.
And I realized that, thataddictive nature of alcohol sort
of slowly, slowly slipped in and2018 was a real cluster of
difficult things for me.
(05:49):
I retired the last baby I caughtdied not because of my, anything
that I did or didn't do, butstill that tragic heart
wrenching thing.
of my dear friends dropped
Barry Condon (06:01):
Hmm.
Martha Redpath (06:01):
My son got shot.
these terrible things happen
Barry Condon (06:06):
Wow.
Martha Redpath (06:07):
and during the immediate, emergency of it,
again, the midwife, the nursekicks in, don't drink, have to
be on call, have to be availablefor my son.
then afterwards.
When nobody was watching, whenthere were no containers on not
drinking, I just thought it wasa good thing.
It would help me to cope,wouldn't it?
Barry Condon (06:27):
I think in, in, at least here in the UK and in
Europe, that the medical worldis, sort of counterintuitively
quite a, quite a heavy drinkingculture.
I don't know if that's the samein America.
Mm.
Martha Redpath (06:38):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It's, it's, I think culturallyinduced, even in medical schools
and midwifery schools, any ofthe conferences, the bar's
always really full.
It's as though this ispermission.
This is what we deserve whereour beepers are off.
So let's just get loaded thenfeel terrible and laugh about it
(06:59):
in the morning and what a funnytime we had.
And, and it sort of set thestage in.
this was something I wassupposed to do or encouraged to
do.
And, so it just became thishabit pattern after call my
husband thinking he was beingkind, had this huge glass of red
wine ready for me.
And I'd say, Oh, thank you somuch.
(07:20):
Thinking it was the best thing.
I think healthcare providers.
are also, it's an addictive, whywould it, why would it not be
addictive to them like everybodyelse?
And so, but there's more shameinvolved because here we are the
experts.
We're giving advice to peopleabout healthcare all the time,
all day long.
And then how do we take care ofourselves?
(07:41):
And I really feel so stronglythat people, the healthcare
providers need to know, it'sokay to tell your story and, to
find that
Justine Clark (07:51):
Martha,
Martha Redpath (07:52):
find that there is another way to cope.
Justine Clark (07:56):
Martha you've really just highlighted again, I
was going to ask you what do youthink your biggest struggle was
and how did you overcome it, butI think this, this concept of
stigma, both professionally andpersonally, like it was a real
struggle for you.
(08:16):
Martha.
Martha Redpath (08:17):
and that, led into that hiding part, you know,
outwardly, nobody would haveever guessed that I was over
drinking.
people were shocked when I wasat, Oh, I'm not drinking
anymore.
Well, was that a problem?
Like, yeah, yes, it was.
So the stigma is totally there.
(08:37):
and You know, I think thatthat's the part that needs to
come forward, that it's not justsome other people that are the
alcoholics.
It is everyone that can becomeover drinking, addicted to this
substance, which is highlyaddictive.
It's quite simple, and thescience is there to support it,
but we've created these others,the, you know, so that it
(09:00):
protects us in some way.
We're not responsible
Barry Condon (09:02):
It feels as if, for a lot of people that it
needs to be.
Really extreme before you caneven call it a problem that that
it's I sort of think it'simportant for people to be able
to know, it doesn't have to be,park benches, early in the
morning with bottles in brownpaper bags for it to be a
problem.
It can be, you know, once itstarts, detracting from your
(09:22):
enjoyment in life and feeling,some sort of compulsive thing
that you can't enjoy thingswithout it.
then it's time you can getcurious and, and, and start to
do something about it, or atleast consider it and, and it
doesn't need to be, yeah, anextreme scenario.
Martha Redpath (09:40):
right?
And what I love what you'redoing is offering that it, it
can be an option to live fully,wonderfully without alcohol.
That's your mission.
And I love that, that you'representing that from all
different facets of life.
And, I'm so grateful that you'redoing this.
It's really, really cool.
Barry Condon (09:59):
Were there particular things that you were,
scared about when you, hit thatbutton and go for it.
Well, were there sort of thingsyou thought, okay, well, what am
I going to leave behind or whatis it going to mean?
What am I, what, what if itworks?
What if it doesn't work?
What, what were the things thatwere worrying you that you wish
you'd known?
Perhaps, we're going to be okay.
Martha Redpath (10:18):
I think the biggest thing for me is I
wondered how it would impact mymarriage because we had gotten
into this ritual of everyevening we would have a cocktail
and it was sort of our time todebrief the day and so I
wondered if I stopped drinking,how will that impact my husband?
And so I was most worried aboutthat.
(10:39):
And I realized that's a reallycommon problem.
And what I, the strategy therewas that I, I engaged his help.
Number one, by saying, okay,he'd, he'd asked me wine or
seltzer and I'd say, okay,seltzer.
Can you, can you just not evenoffer the wine and, and do the
seltzer?
And then when we'd go to aparty, I'd say, can you just
(11:00):
make sure my glass is full withseltzer so that I didn't have to
think about it.
Didn't have to.
And then also really made apoint of not judging him and
asking him to stop drinking.
I thought this is my deal.
I've got to do it on my terms.
I'm doing it for my own health,wellbeing, to feel better.
he's got his own journey.
And, and so months later I saidto him, is it for you that I'm
(11:22):
not drinking?
Like, this is a big deal for me.
And, and he says, well, first ofall, you're much happier and
you're not judging me.
And I got like, bing, bing,bing, bing, bing.
Oh, Oh, I got to register thatone and make sure that that's
still true because I, I wantthe, you know, the marriage to
(11:43):
be still engaging and intimate.
And in fact, it's given me moreresilience.
To manage his own health issues.
And so that was really mybiggest fear and also what other
people would think.
But I, I think on a personallevel, my, on my friend level,
that was fine because all of us,as we're aging, I've realized
(12:05):
like, this is making it, I'mmore sensitive to it as I was
aging.
but professionally, that was abig one.
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(12:25):
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(12:46):
Because no one ever woke up inthe morning and said, I wish I'd
had more to drink last night,did they?
Back to the episode.
Justine Clark (12:54):
Martha, I just want to go back to the talk
about, in, in the home and in,in relationship because that's,
that is so common.
I know for myself, I thoughtthat actually really it's the
cat out of the bag if I'm afailure in front of my husband
and I can't drink and know, he'ssaying, how do we have fun on
holiday?
What about that first drink whenyou go abroad?
(13:16):
You know, there's kind ofcelebration and togetherness
moments.
So I really resonate with whatyou said there.
And I, like you, I, I've nevertold my husband to change his
relationship with alcohol, butsurprisingly and lo and behold,
after me doing this work for ayear without him just witnessing
me, come Christmas time, he, hejust decided he'd have a little
(13:36):
break and we're now six monthsdown the line.
And
Martha Redpath (13:40):
Yeah.
Justine Clark (13:40):
so the science of this, the, this naked mind and
the process, the way that itembraces not just us.
our families and all of thosearound us, and you're about to
talk about professionals too,that it sort of carries all of
us in a wave of positivity thatin itself, just there's no room
for stigma because it's, it'sall, it's all out there and our
(14:02):
vulnerability.
What a gift to give ourpartners.
Martha Redpath (14:04):
Yeah.
No, I agree.
I totally agree.
And done these reallyinteresting, interesting studies
about partners and brain, wavesin their heads and people that
are hugely anxious.
If they put one partner onmedication, the other partners,
brain waves settle down.
And so I think it's a similarthing for me energetically, I
(14:26):
think by not drinking.
There's a whole different energyfield around that happens that
of course is very contagious foranyone that comes along.
And so on that level too,there's, there's so much mystery
around healing and change.
I'm so grateful for that.
(14:48):
So I'm, I'm very curious aboutthat as well.
Justine Clark (14:50):
so is there anything that you wish you had
known while you were drinkingthat you know now?
Martha Redpath (14:56):
I think, what would I, I, the, the biggest
thing that comes to me is thatyou feel so much better and that
a lot of the construct of, ofdrinking has been socially
defined and promoted by thealcohol companies and not true.
And so I, I used to have thisimage that.
(15:16):
A certain amount of alcohol isgood for us, isn't it?
A little bit of red wine is goodfor us, but too much alcohol we
know causes liver disease.
Oh, so as I was slipping,slipping closer to that other
side, thought that it was,there's that spectrum rather
than a black and white issue.
But I think the, the biggestthing that I've learned is that
(15:37):
I Don't need it.
It's not good for me in any waythat it's been this, it's like a
myth breaker.
I feel like the whole, thisnaked mind system has broken the
myth for me.
And at one point I said, thisprogram has ruined drinking for
me.
I don't want it to get all.
(15:57):
There's no reason it was notserving me one bit.
It's ruined it, which I love.
I mean, I'm so grateful forthat.
Barry Condon (16:05):
I love that.
I love that.
For me, at least that it was thescience and and sort of the
steady, questioning of yourselfand curiosity that eventually
sort of leads to thepsychological changes that you
eventually see alcohol for whatit is.
And it really is like pullingback the curtain and going.
Oh, it's not, it's not the sortof be all and end all that I
(16:26):
thought we thought it was.
And it is actually leaving meworse off every time.
And, and, you know, it, it makesyou feel better briefly, but in
the end, the, the, the neteffect is, is negative.
And, and eventually you justthink, well, why am I keep
banging my head against thiswall?
You know, and, and when you cansee it for what it is and feel
positive about not doing it andthen get away from it for, for,
(16:48):
for, you know, 30 days, 60 days,whatever it is, then you.
Then, the realization is like,Oh wow, yeah, that's actually,
that's what life can be like.,have you, found for yourself
new, activities and adventuresand, and things that you've,
that have improved your lifesince you've, gone alcohol free.
Martha Redpath (17:08):
You know, we've been pretty adventuresome in
general, so I don't, I can't saythat, but the biggest thing that
I can say is that the quality ofmy relationships is dramatically
different and that my ability tobe patient.
My ability to be in my own skinand, you know, deal with
difficult situations as myhusband's health has declined is
(17:30):
a million times better.
I used to think that duringCOVID when he was being annoying
with cognitive changes, myblasting out my reactions was
somehow helping.
And then I would feel, so thebiggest difference is I feel
like answering and reacting andbeing present in a way that
feels in line with who I trulyam and not having this external
(17:54):
substance change the way mybrain works to, to activate in
some way.
So I, I honestly feel much morepresent.
I feel less anxious.
and I just feel more in my skinand I didn't even realize that
those were the resonant, theripple effects.
I didn't know that until I'm nowliving it.
(18:15):
And I.
I feel like I have hope for thefuture again, and, you know,
aging doesn't seem scary andlike, Oh, I'm going to be a mess
in 10 years.
I feel hopeful about that.
So that's been wonderful.
Barry Condon (18:30):
Yeah,
Justine Clark (18:33):
not about a funky coloured, funky tasting liquid
in a glass at all.
It's actually about finding away to be with ourselves, so
yes, it's, it's, it's less aboutthe liquid in the glass.
All of a sudden, we remove thatout of the equation and it
starts to become a journey aboutWho am I in this world and how
(18:54):
do I want to relate and youknow, how do I want, do I want
to turn up what possibilitiesare there out there for me?
Martha Redpath (19:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I spent my whole lifemidwifing other people,
empowering other people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Watching this unfolding of thesetransformational moments.
And I feel like I'm finallyperhaps learning how to midwife
myself.
Justine Clark (19:20):
Yes.
Martha Redpath (19:21):
time.
So, yeah, no, it is lovely.
It's, it's coming back to myselfwith myself a way that honors
myself, but also then of course,honors the people around me in a
much more authentic way.
So that's, that's the deepgratitude that comes through for
me.
And it's not a struggle.
I think that's the piece Iimagined.
(19:43):
alcohol would mean I'd be whiteknuckling it, you know, missing
it and wanting it.
And I have none of that.
And that's the freedom piece.
That's the beauty of the antigrace system of this naked mind
that truly unravels thosebeliefs on a deep level that,
that helps personalize it.
And if somebody said to merecently, one of my coaching
(20:05):
sessions, well, I, I do like thetaste of it.
And I said, okay, that's yourexperience.
So explore that, understandthat.
Where does that come from?
Rather than me saying, well, ittastes bad.
It wasn't real for her.
And so anything has to come fromour own experiences and we have
to be our own best teachers.
(20:26):
And I think that's the beauty ofthis system that it does.
Promote, not somebody telling usfrom above what to do, what's
the best thing, disempowering,surrender all your power.
It's no, what, what's the truthinside of us that comes forward.
And I just love that.
Does that resonates with me?
That's part of that midwiferymodel, which is empowering, From
(20:49):
within, from that true self.
And it all works, it allinterconnects.
I love that.
Justine Clark (20:55):
what does the future hold for you in terms of,
your continued journey infreedom.
Martha Redpath (21:00):
So I am super excited about setting up some
groups for women who are intransition, in a, in, in, along
with, but apart from even thealcohol journey of, of that's
coming in the fall for me,that's a piece of it.
So for me, coaching is thiswhole new journey, which I'm
super excited about and seeingsimilar transformational
(21:24):
midwifery model of, the answersare within us, and as well as
doing 30 day teaching inaddition to my individual
coaching.
But my real, journey is alongwith, you know, my husband
having this terminal diagnosisto be present, to be completely
available.
Present and draw in the supportsas I need it so that that dance
(21:49):
of comfort and discomfort, thatdance of asking for help and
being self sufficient and thathuman experience.
So all of this is somehowwrapping together and, it's
life, you know, it is life a waythat
Justine Clark (22:06):
What I'm,
Martha Redpath (22:06):
feel excited about it rather than Overwhelmed
by it.
And I think a lot of, stresspreviously felt overwhelming,
hide it in the bottle.
And now I feel like it's doable.
I'll find the solutions.
I've got this.
Barry Condon (22:22):
Amazing.
I mean, can you see, like yousay that if I was hiding in the
bottle, if you look.
At yourself, how you would havebehaved or how you would have
handled things, say five yearsago, if you were in the current
situation with your husband canyou see a difference between how
you would have reacted then tonow and how that would have
played out?
Martha Redpath (22:41):
yes, absolutely.
I think I was getting smaller,smaller, smaller, smaller,
hiding, hiding, hiding, hiding,not appreciating the web of
support is allowed when you'reopen to that.
And so that clarity for me.
Allows the being present.
And otherwise I would befreaking out up to what's the
(23:02):
future.
Not to say that that's not partof it, but I can.
can say I can hold thatdifferently.
I can say I can hold that alongwith the present moment.
And I'm not sure, pretty sure Iwould feel terrible every
morning because I'd be overdrinking every night.
And then I wouldn't have theenergy to go for the bike rides.
(23:23):
I wouldn't have the energy to gofor the hikes and the skis.
And I wouldn't have the energyto entertain or go out like, no,
can we just stay home and watchTV?
So I think that I, I saw myselfdown this.
limited path.
And now I'm, I feel much moreopen to what life is bringing
us.
Justine Clark (23:40):
and actually speaking to this unique, unique
journey that you're on with yourhusband now, there may be
others, listening that are in,similar positions where they are
either caregivers or lookingafter someone with a terminal
diagnosis that haven't yet,found their freedom.
What would sort of be the bigthings that you, what would you
(24:03):
say to somebody who isn't quiteover that line yet and knows
they need to change, becausethey want to make the most of
these, this last special time.
Have you got something to offerfrom the inside to, to those in
a similar position?
Martha Redpath (24:17):
Hmm.
I love that question, Justine.
I, I think I would just say,really ask yourself, is this
serving you?
Is this really helping you?
And could there be, to open thatlittle window of curiosity,
could there be another way wouldbe a better support for you?
(24:37):
And, And that's the biggestthing, I think, just, oh, that
little sliver of question andturning your head towards it,
that would be with kindness,compassion, oh, this, I'm, I
might be not right here.
This alcohol substance reallymight not be serving me.
And just that question, I think,changes lives and, and to know
(25:02):
they're not alone to know thatthey're not the first person
that's been there.
And.
That they journey will serveothers at some point, I think
always helps.
Yeah.
Barry Condon (25:12):
and I think to go back to what you said at the
beginning that the science thenif you, if you, if you have that
curiosity, and then look at thescience, then you can quite
quickly start to gatherinformation that shows you that.
That, you know, that the idea ofa stress relief, the idea of
escape, the idea of dealing withyour anxiety, you actually sort
of, you might get a briefrelief, but it's actually the
(25:35):
next morning you've made thingsworse and every, and it's a sort
of snowballing effect and, and,and once you start to see the
reality of that, then it helpsyou, gain hope that, you know,
and, and that maybe thedetermination to, to, to make a
change.
Martha Redpath (25:50):
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And that's so hopeful, you know,in the middle of, something
that's hard to feel hopeful islovely and something I wish for
everyone to at least have a.
A little glimmer of that.
It, it really can be It's not,Oh, somebody else's story.
(26:12):
It, it can be theirs too.
So
Justine Clark (26:16):
Yeah, I love that so much.
So sort of summarizing that kindof glimmer, what would be the
biggest takeaway or offering to,to those in three words?
going in the middle of thatstruggle.
Martha Redpath (26:32):
so, for my three words, I, I chose clarity.
so clarity for myself, clarityin my head in the mornings.
You can't, that never gets old.
hopefulness.
Hopefulness in the future,hopefulness for life, for love,
and I've sort of combined humorand light because I just felt
(26:53):
with the lightness, I, it's likethe energy has cleared, it's not
so foggy every single day.
There's a, a lightness thatallows this new exploration,
this new curiosity, this new, Iwonder what's next, it kind of
idea and, Oh my
Justine Clark (27:12):
I love that.
Martha Redpath (27:13):
know, at 66, that's a beautiful thing to be
holding.
So
Justine Clark (27:19):
Glimmers of wonderment, Martha, glimmers of
wonderment.
Martha Redpath (27:24):
indeed, absolutely.
Barry Condon (27:25):
Yeah, that's amazing.
Martha Redpath (27:27):
Yeah.
Every day to look for thoselittle glimmers cause they're
there.
Sometimes we just don't haveeyes for them.
And so that's been that mindsetshift for me to allow those
moments to come forward.
Even in the thick of everythingthat might be hard.
There are always these littlemagic moments that are just a
gift that fill my heart, that Ithink, okay, I got this and, can
(27:51):
appreciate those appreciations.
there's a sticker for the,before the party was
appreciation, gratitude, andjoy.
And my son, that was his toast.
We said, if you look around thishouse, there are all these
stickers, appreciation,gratitude, and joy.
And that's what this event isabout.
We just said a big party.
(28:13):
40 anniversary and my husbandturning 70.
And that was the piece that hetook from it.
And I love that, that rippleeffect, another ripple effect.
Justine Clark (28:22):
Love it.
Barry Condon (28:24):
Yeah, I think, I think, it's, it's, yeah, it's a
ripple effect.
And I think, in practical terms,when you, when you're not
drinking, you do gain a lot oftime because you're not, hung
over or you're not, worrying andthinking about when's your next
drink coming from.
And it leaves you that room,which allows you to be more
present and be, more authentic.
(28:45):
And then that can lead, if youallow it, to be more grateful
and more aware.
And that gratitude, and presenceis so valuable.
And it feels, you know, whenyou're trying to explain it to
someone who's, you know, Not onthe same wavelength, perhaps
yet, you know, they can sort ofthink, Oh, that sounds a bit
weird or a bit sort of, youknow, self, I don't know, self,
(29:06):
a bit, you know, a bit wrappedup in yourself and a bit sort
of, Ooh, isn't, isn't lifewonderful.
But, but in the end, it's howyou feel inside is, is, is all
you have.
And that, that it's soimportant.
And if you do, Take the timeand, and notice what's going on
around you and notice howwonderful things can be.
it just, it can fill you up soquickly.
(29:27):
That's
Martha Redpath (29:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does.
It does.
And, and to think that alcohol,I used to think alcohol was the
thing that would help.
And now have learned.
There's nothing about it thathelps me, and that's lovely
Justine Clark (29:46):
Awesome.
And that's probably a greatplace for us to, to, to wrap up.
But before we do, we need tofind how others that may be on a
similar journey as you, Martha,or, would resonate with you as a
coach.
How are they going to find you?
Martha Redpath (30:01):
so my website is provider space coaching.com,
www.providerspacecoaching.com,all spelled out.
And on Instagram, it is justprovider space.
So I'm there.
And
Justine Clark (30:16):
Amazing.
Martha Redpath (30:17):
to be supporting others in this journey.
It's quite a privilege to meetall these amazing people.
Thank
Justine Clark (30:23):
much for being with
Barry Condon (30:24):
brilliant, Martha.
You're going to help so manypeople.
Martha Redpath (30:26):
Yeah.
Thanks.
And you too.
Justine Clark (30:29):
Thanks so much.
Martha Redpath (30:29):
doing this.
This is Alcohol Freedom Finders.
(00:02):
In this episode, you'll meetMartha, whose life as an on call
midwife kept her drinking undercontrol.
But when she retired, thoseguardrails evaporated.
And when COVID lockdown hit,like so many other people, she
found herself drinking more thanshe'd ever wanted to.
Fed up with the cycle offrustration and shame, her
journey to alcohol freedom beganwith an Instagram post about the
(00:23):
science led, compassionateapproach of the This Naked Mind
methodology, in which Justineand I are both certified
coaches.
It was the promise that hersituation wasn't her fault that
gave her the courage to sign upto a coaching programme that
would change the trajectory ofher life forever.
Let's jump in.
Barry Condon (00:41):
Okay.
Welcome to, Alcohol FreedomFinders.
This episode we're reallyexcited to have with us.
Martha Redpath, a coach from theUnited States, she's a friend of
ours.
We trained together, as coacheswith this naked mind.
she's a, been a midwife for,for, or at least was a midwife
for 30 years.
(01:02):
midwife and a nurse and is,specializing in trying to, help,
healthcare professionals andmidwives and, and, and anyone in
that space who's struggling, tokeep a lid on, the amount that
they drink.
and without further ado, I'dlike to say hi to Martha
Martha Redpath (01:18):
Hi, Barry.
Hi, Justine.
I'm so honored to be here.
What a privilege.
Justine Clark (01:23):
And we're so blessed to have you with us
Martha, I can't wait to hearmore about your journey.
I gravitate towards you, I'vealways gravitated towards you,
but we've never had time to sitand explore your specific
journey and what led you to thisnaked mind in the first place
and now becoming alcohol freeand an alcohol free coach.
Martha Redpath (01:43):
Well, it's been quite a journey for, me.
It's been a bit of a simmeringpot that, my alcohol journey
sort of gradually increased.
I had these lovely boundaries ofcall.
So as a midwife, I was verydetermined not to be over
drinking when I was on call.
And some days I.
(02:04):
Would come home at the end of mycall and have the big glass of
red wine there, but it was quitemoderated and contained.
And then, what happened is thatwhen I retired those guardrails
left, and then when COVIDoccurred yet another guardrail
left because I didn't, wasn'tdriving anywhere.
So I was the person who was verycautious.
(02:25):
about, not over drinking inpublic, being the designated
driver, only two drinks.
And then I'd go home if I wasn'ton call, finish the bottle of
wine.
and so a lot of it was in.
The shame of hiding for me was abit, a big part of my story.
(02:46):
And, I found this naked mindwhen I was instant on Instagram,
surprisingly.
we typically do dry January.
And so it was, January of 2022.
So post COVID post realizingsuddenly I was drinking a bottle
of wine at night.
Sometimes more than that andfeeling sick, beating myself up.
(03:07):
Not quite sure what I wanted todo.
and then I saw this Instagramabout compassion.
It wasn't my fault.
That this is such an addictivesubstance.
All of society is promoting itand thinking it's the best thing
in the world.
I, I thought, Oh, I I've, I'vetried this.
I can do 30 days think I'm donemoderation.
(03:28):
Great.
And then I'm back even more, Iwas thinking about it more.
It was in my head so much more.
That I was drinking more.
And I thought I kept getting theemails about the path, the path,
the path.
And I thought, Oh, for goodnesssakes, Martha, push the button
and try it in that heartpounding.
Oh, what does that mean that Ineed help?
I'm so nervous about this.
Just push the button and becourageous and go for it.
(03:51):
And, and I just found this.
kindness.
I found this compassion.
I found this place whereeveryone from all over the
world, all differentbackgrounds, all different
experiences were sharing theirtrue stories.
And I could be authentic and letdown my guard, not try to
impress anybody.
Not try to keep, you know,containers around what, what did
(04:13):
people think of me?
I'm the midwife in thecommunity.
Everybody knows me.
What's my reputation.
Didn't have to worry about anyof that.
And
Barry Condon (04:19):
the, for the, for the people that don't know the,
the path is the, maybe you couldtell people what the path is.
Martha Redpath (04:26):
yeah, so at that point in time, it was a three
month coaching program in alarge group of people from all
over the world.
And it, it took us through a lotof information about, of all,
stop trying to stop drinking,learn about it, become aware,
very much mindfulness, and I'vehad a.
Meditation practice for years.
(04:47):
So that really hooked me inabout mindfulness and then try a
period of time of not drinking,see how that was in the
meantime, learning, learning,learning, learning all about the
science.
And for me, that evidence basedstuff was the hook.
I loved the science of it and itconvinced me, okay, we'll try
another month.
Okay.
(05:07):
Try another month.
And I just got curious about,wow, this substance is wrecking
my life in many ways.
What would it be if I didn't,what would it be if I went on
holiday with all of my familyand not drank, couldn't imagine
it before, what would it be if Iwent through Thanksgiving,
Christmas?
And so it just increased slowly,slowly, slowly.
(05:28):
And I've felt so much betterhealth wise.
Emotionally, every way in theworld.
And so that was it.
And I realized that, thataddictive nature of alcohol sort
of slowly, slowly slipped in and2018 was a real cluster of
difficult things for me.
(05:49):
I retired the last baby I caughtdied not because of my, anything
that I did or didn't do, butstill that tragic heart
wrenching thing.
of my dear friends dropped
Barry Condon (06:01):
Hmm.
Martha Redpath (06:01):
My son got shot.
these terrible things happen
Barry Condon (06:06):
Wow.
Martha Redpath (06:07):
and during the immediate, emergency of it,
again, the midwife, the nursekicks in, don't drink, have to
be on call, have to be availablefor my son.
then afterwards.
When nobody was watching, whenthere were no containers on not
drinking, I just thought it wasa good thing.
It would help me to cope,wouldn't it?
Barry Condon (06:27):
I think in, in, at least here in the UK and in
Europe, that the medical worldis, sort of counterintuitively
quite a, quite a heavy drinkingculture.
I don't know if that's the samein America.
Mm.
Martha Redpath (06:38):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
It's, it's, I think culturallyinduced, even in medical schools
and midwifery schools, any ofthe conferences, the bar's
always really full.
It's as though this ispermission.
This is what we deserve whereour beepers are off.
So let's just get loaded thenfeel terrible and laugh about it
(06:59):
in the morning and what a funnytime we had.
And, and it sort of set thestage in.
this was something I wassupposed to do or encouraged to
do.
And, so it just became thishabit pattern after call my
husband thinking he was beingkind, had this huge glass of red
wine ready for me.
And I'd say, Oh, thank you somuch.
(07:20):
Thinking it was the best thing.
I think healthcare providers.
are also, it's an addictive, whywould it, why would it not be
addictive to them like everybodyelse?
And so, but there's more shameinvolved because here we are the
experts.
We're giving advice to peopleabout healthcare all the time,
all day long.
And then how do we take care ofourselves?
(07:41):
And I really feel so stronglythat people, the healthcare
providers need to know, it'sokay to tell your story and, to
find that
Justine Clark (07:51):
Martha,
Martha Redpath (07:52):
find that there is another way to cope.
Justine Clark (07:56):
Martha you've really just highlighted again, I
was going to ask you what do youthink your biggest struggle was
and how did you overcome it, butI think this, this concept of
stigma, both professionally andpersonally, like it was a real
struggle for you.
(08:16):
Martha.
Martha Redpath (08:17):
and that, led into that hiding part, you know,
outwardly, nobody would haveever guessed that I was over
drinking.
people were shocked when I wasat, Oh, I'm not drinking
anymore.
Well, was that a problem?
Like, yeah, yes, it was.
So the stigma is totally there.
(08:37):
and You know, I think thatthat's the part that needs to
come forward, that it's not justsome other people that are the
alcoholics.
It is everyone that can becomeover drinking, addicted to this
substance, which is highlyaddictive.
It's quite simple, and thescience is there to support it,
but we've created these others,the, you know, so that it
(09:00):
protects us in some way.
We're not responsible
Barry Condon (09:02):
It feels as if, for a lot of people that it
needs to be.
Really extreme before you caneven call it a problem that that
it's I sort of think it'simportant for people to be able
to know, it doesn't have to be,park benches, early in the
morning with bottles in brownpaper bags for it to be a
problem.
It can be, you know, once itstarts, detracting from your
(09:22):
enjoyment in life and feeling,some sort of compulsive thing
that you can't enjoy thingswithout it.
then it's time you can getcurious and, and, and start to
do something about it, or atleast consider it and, and it
doesn't need to be, yeah, anextreme scenario.
Martha Redpath (09:40):
right?
And what I love what you'redoing is offering that it, it
can be an option to live fully,wonderfully without alcohol.
That's your mission.
And I love that, that you'representing that from all
different facets of life.
And, I'm so grateful that you'redoing this.
It's really, really cool.
Barry Condon (09:59):
Were there particular things that you were,
scared about when you, hit thatbutton and go for it.
Well, were there sort of thingsyou thought, okay, well, what am
I going to leave behind or whatis it going to mean?
What am I, what, what if itworks?
What if it doesn't work?
What, what were the things thatwere worrying you that you wish
you'd known?
Perhaps, we're going to be okay.
Martha Redpath (10:18):
I think the biggest thing for me is I
wondered how it would impact mymarriage because we had gotten
into this ritual of everyevening we would have a cocktail
and it was sort of our time todebrief the day and so I
wondered if I stopped drinking,how will that impact my husband?
And so I was most worried aboutthat.
(10:39):
And I realized that's a reallycommon problem.
And what I, the strategy therewas that I, I engaged his help.
Number one, by saying, okay,he'd, he'd asked me wine or
seltzer and I'd say, okay,seltzer.
Can you, can you just not evenoffer the wine and, and do the
seltzer?
And then when we'd go to aparty, I'd say, can you just
(11:00):
make sure my glass is full withseltzer so that I didn't have to
think about it.
Didn't have to.
And then also really made apoint of not judging him and
asking him to stop drinking.
I thought this is my deal.
I've got to do it on my terms.
I'm doing it for my own health,wellbeing, to feel better.
he's got his own journey.
And, and so months later I saidto him, is it for you that I'm
(11:22):
not drinking?
Like, this is a big deal for me.
And, and he says, well, first ofall, you're much happier and
you're not judging me.
And I got like, bing, bing,bing, bing, bing.
Oh, Oh, I got to register thatone and make sure that that's
still true because I, I wantthe, you know, the marriage to
(11:43):
be still engaging and intimate.
And in fact, it's given me moreresilience.
To manage his own health issues.
And so that was really mybiggest fear and also what other
people would think.
But I, I think on a personallevel, my, on my friend level,
that was fine because all of us,as we're aging, I've realized
(12:05):
like, this is making it, I'mmore sensitive to it as I was
aging.
but professionally, that was abig one.
If you're looking to take backcontrol of your drinking, why
don't you join our AlcoholFreedom Finders 30 day group
program.
It's a great place to start.
Because we approach it as anexperiment, rather than a
challenge.
(12:25):
Whereas, as well as getting agreat detox, you learn the
science and the psychology aboutwhy you're drunk in the first
place.
So whether you want to stopaltogether, or just become a
more mindful and moderatedrinker, why don't you give it a
crack?
Use the link in the show notesto sign up to our next 30 day
program, and you won't regretit.
(12:46):
Because no one ever woke up inthe morning and said, I wish I'd
had more to drink last night,did they?
Back to the episode.
Justine Clark (12:54):
Martha, I just want to go back to the talk
about, in, in the home and in,in relationship because that's,
that is so common.
I know for myself, I thoughtthat actually really it's the
cat out of the bag if I'm afailure in front of my husband
and I can't drink and know, he'ssaying, how do we have fun on
holiday?
What about that first drink whenyou go abroad?
(13:16):
You know, there's kind ofcelebration and togetherness
moments.
So I really resonate with whatyou said there.
And I, like you, I, I've nevertold my husband to change his
relationship with alcohol, butsurprisingly and lo and behold,
after me doing this work for ayear without him just witnessing
me, come Christmas time, he, hejust decided he'd have a little
(13:36):
break and we're now six monthsdown the line.
And
Martha Redpath (13:40):
Yeah.
Justine Clark (13:40):
so the science of this, the, this naked mind and
the process, the way that itembraces not just us.
our families and all of thosearound us, and you're about to
talk about professionals too,that it sort of carries all of
us in a wave of positivity thatin itself, just there's no room
for stigma because it's, it'sall, it's all out there and our
(14:02):
vulnerability.
What a gift to give ourpartners.
Martha Redpath (14:04):
Yeah.
No, I agree.
I totally agree.
And done these reallyinteresting, interesting studies
about partners and brain, wavesin their heads and people that
are hugely anxious.
If they put one partner onmedication, the other partners,
brain waves settle down.
And so I think it's a similarthing for me energetically, I
(14:26):
think by not drinking.
There's a whole different energyfield around that happens that
of course is very contagious foranyone that comes along.
And so on that level too,there's, there's so much mystery
around healing and change.
I'm so grateful for that.
(14:48):
So I'm, I'm very curious aboutthat as well.
Justine Clark (14:50):
so is there anything that you wish you had
known while you were drinkingthat you know now?
Martha Redpath (14:56):
I think, what would I, I, the, the biggest
thing that comes to me is thatyou feel so much better and that
a lot of the construct of, ofdrinking has been socially
defined and promoted by thealcohol companies and not true.
And so I, I used to have thisimage that.
(15:16):
A certain amount of alcohol isgood for us, isn't it?
A little bit of red wine is goodfor us, but too much alcohol we
know causes liver disease.
Oh, so as I was slipping,slipping closer to that other
side, thought that it was,there's that spectrum rather
than a black and white issue.
But I think the, the biggestthing that I've learned is that
(15:37):
I Don't need it.
It's not good for me in any waythat it's been this, it's like a
myth breaker.
I feel like the whole, thisnaked mind system has broken the
myth for me.
And at one point I said, thisprogram has ruined drinking for
me.
I don't want it to get all.
(15:57):
There's no reason it was notserving me one bit.
It's ruined it, which I love.
I mean, I'm so grateful forthat.
Barry Condon (16:05):
I love that.
I love that.
For me, at least that it was thescience and and sort of the
steady, questioning of yourselfand curiosity that eventually
sort of leads to thepsychological changes that you
eventually see alcohol for whatit is.
And it really is like pullingback the curtain and going.
Oh, it's not, it's not the sortof be all and end all that I
(16:26):
thought we thought it was.
And it is actually leaving meworse off every time.
And, and, you know, it, it makesyou feel better briefly, but in
the end, the, the, the neteffect is, is negative.
And, and eventually you justthink, well, why am I keep
banging my head against thiswall?
You know, and, and when you cansee it for what it is and feel
positive about not doing it andthen get away from it for, for,
(16:48):
for, you know, 30 days, 60 days,whatever it is, then you.
Then, the realization is like,Oh wow, yeah, that's actually,
that's what life can be like.,have you, found for yourself
new, activities and adventuresand, and things that you've,
that have improved your lifesince you've, gone alcohol free.
Martha Redpath (17:08):
You know, we've been pretty adventuresome in
general, so I don't, I can't saythat, but the biggest thing that
I can say is that the quality ofmy relationships is dramatically
different and that my ability tobe patient.
My ability to be in my own skinand, you know, deal with
difficult situations as myhusband's health has declined is
(17:30):
a million times better.
I used to think that duringCOVID when he was being annoying
with cognitive changes, myblasting out my reactions was
somehow helping.
And then I would feel, so thebiggest difference is I feel
like answering and reacting andbeing present in a way that
feels in line with who I trulyam and not having this external
(17:54):
substance change the way mybrain works to, to activate in
some way.
So I, I honestly feel much morepresent.
I feel less anxious.
and I just feel more in my skinand I didn't even realize that
those were the resonant, theripple effects.
I didn't know that until I'm nowliving it.
(18:15):
And I.
I feel like I have hope for thefuture again, and, you know,
aging doesn't seem scary andlike, Oh, I'm going to be a mess
in 10 years.
I feel hopeful about that.
So that's been wonderful.
Barry Condon (18:30):
Yeah,
Justine Clark (18:33):
not about a funky coloured, funky tasting liquid
in a glass at all.
It's actually about finding away to be with ourselves, so
yes, it's, it's, it's less aboutthe liquid in the glass.
All of a sudden, we remove thatout of the equation and it
starts to become a journey aboutWho am I in this world and how
(18:54):
do I want to relate and youknow, how do I want, do I want
to turn up what possibilitiesare there out there for me?
Martha Redpath (19:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I spent my whole lifemidwifing other people,
empowering other people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Watching this unfolding of thesetransformational moments.
And I feel like I'm finallyperhaps learning how to midwife
myself.
Justine Clark (19:20):
Yes.
Martha Redpath (19:21):
time.
So, yeah, no, it is lovely.
It's, it's coming back to myselfwith myself a way that honors
myself, but also then of course,honors the people around me in a
much more authentic way.
So that's, that's the deepgratitude that comes through for
me.
And it's not a struggle.
I think that's the piece Iimagined.
(19:43):
alcohol would mean I'd be whiteknuckling it, you know, missing
it and wanting it.
And I have none of that.
And that's the freedom piece.
That's the beauty of the antigrace system of this naked mind
that truly unravels thosebeliefs on a deep level that,
that helps personalize it.
And if somebody said to merecently, one of my coaching
(20:05):
sessions, well, I, I do like thetaste of it.
And I said, okay, that's yourexperience.
So explore that, understandthat.
Where does that come from?
Rather than me saying, well, ittastes bad.
It wasn't real for her.
And so anything has to come fromour own experiences and we have
to be our own best teachers.
(20:26):
And I think that's the beauty ofthis system that it does.
Promote, not somebody telling usfrom above what to do, what's
the best thing, disempowering,surrender all your power.
It's no, what, what's the truthinside of us that comes forward.
And I just love that.
Does that resonates with me?
That's part of that midwiferymodel, which is empowering, From
(20:49):
within, from that true self.
And it all works, it allinterconnects.
I love that.
Justine Clark (20:55):
what does the future hold for you in terms of,
your continued journey infreedom.
Martha Redpath (21:00):
So I am super excited about setting up some
groups for women who are intransition, in a, in, in, along
with, but apart from even thealcohol journey of, of that's
coming in the fall for me,that's a piece of it.
So for me, coaching is thiswhole new journey, which I'm
super excited about and seeingsimilar transformational
(21:24):
midwifery model of, the answersare within us, and as well as
doing 30 day teaching inaddition to my individual
coaching.
But my real, journey is alongwith, you know, my husband
having this terminal diagnosisto be present, to be completely
available.
Present and draw in the supportsas I need it so that that dance
(21:49):
of comfort and discomfort, thatdance of asking for help and
being self sufficient and thathuman experience.
So all of this is somehowwrapping together and, it's
life, you know, it is life a waythat
Justine Clark (22:06):
What I'm,
Martha Redpath (22:06):
feel excited about it rather than Overwhelmed
by it.
And I think a lot of, stresspreviously felt overwhelming,
hide it in the bottle.
And now I feel like it's doable.
I'll find the solutions.
I've got this.
Barry Condon (22:22):
Amazing.
I mean, can you see, like yousay that if I was hiding in the
bottle, if you look.
At yourself, how you would havebehaved or how you would have
handled things, say five yearsago, if you were in the current
situation with your husband canyou see a difference between how
you would have reacted then tonow and how that would have
played out?
Martha Redpath (22:41):
yes, absolutely.
I think I was getting smaller,smaller, smaller, smaller,
hiding, hiding, hiding, hiding,not appreciating the web of
support is allowed when you'reopen to that.
And so that clarity for me.
Allows the being present.
And otherwise I would befreaking out up to what's the
(23:02):
future.
Not to say that that's not partof it, but I can.
can say I can hold thatdifferently.
I can say I can hold that alongwith the present moment.
And I'm not sure, pretty sure Iwould feel terrible every
morning because I'd be overdrinking every night.
And then I wouldn't have theenergy to go for the bike rides.
(23:23):
I wouldn't have the energy to gofor the hikes and the skis.
And I wouldn't have the energyto entertain or go out like, no,
can we just stay home and watchTV?
So I think that I, I saw myselfdown this.
limited path.
And now I'm, I feel much moreopen to what life is bringing
us.
Justine Clark (23:40):
and actually speaking to this unique, unique
journey that you're on with yourhusband now, there may be
others, listening that are in,similar positions where they are
either caregivers or lookingafter someone with a terminal
diagnosis that haven't yet,found their freedom.
What would sort of be the bigthings that you, what would you
(24:03):
say to somebody who isn't quiteover that line yet and knows
they need to change, becausethey want to make the most of
these, this last special time.
Have you got something to offerfrom the inside to, to those in
a similar position?
Martha Redpath (24:17):
Hmm.
I love that question, Justine.
I, I think I would just say,really ask yourself, is this
serving you?
Is this really helping you?
And could there be, to open thatlittle window of curiosity,
could there be another way wouldbe a better support for you?
(24:37):
And, And that's the biggestthing, I think, just, oh, that
little sliver of question andturning your head towards it,
that would be with kindness,compassion, oh, this, I'm, I
might be not right here.
This alcohol substance reallymight not be serving me.
And just that question, I think,changes lives and, and to know
(25:02):
they're not alone to know thatthey're not the first person
that's been there.
And.
That they journey will serveothers at some point, I think
always helps.
Yeah.
Barry Condon (25:12):
and I think to go back to what you said at the
beginning that the science thenif you, if you, if you have that
curiosity, and then look at thescience, then you can quite
quickly start to gatherinformation that shows you that.
That, you know, that the idea ofa stress relief, the idea of
escape, the idea of dealing withyour anxiety, you actually sort
of, you might get a briefrelief, but it's actually the
(25:35):
next morning you've made thingsworse and every, and it's a sort
of snowballing effect and, and,and once you start to see the
reality of that, then it helpsyou, gain hope that, you know,
and, and that maybe thedetermination to, to, to make a
change.
Martha Redpath (25:50):
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And that's so hopeful, you know,in the middle of, something
that's hard to feel hopeful islovely and something I wish for
everyone to at least have a.
A little glimmer of that.
It, it really can be It's not,Oh, somebody else's story.
(26:12):
It, it can be theirs too.
So
Justine Clark (26:16):
Yeah, I love that so much.
So sort of summarizing that kindof glimmer, what would be the
biggest takeaway or offering to,to those in three words?
going in the middle of thatstruggle.
Martha Redpath (26:32):
so, for my three words, I, I chose clarity.
so clarity for myself, clarityin my head in the mornings.
You can't, that never gets old.
hopefulness.
Hopefulness in the future,hopefulness for life, for love,
and I've sort of combined humorand light because I just felt
(26:53):
with the lightness, I, it's likethe energy has cleared, it's not
so foggy every single day.
There's a, a lightness thatallows this new exploration,
this new curiosity, this new, Iwonder what's next, it kind of
idea and, Oh my
Justine Clark (27:12):
I love that.
Martha Redpath (27:13):
know, at 66, that's a beautiful thing to be
holding.
So
Justine Clark (27:19):
Glimmers of wonderment, Martha, glimmers of
wonderment.
Martha Redpath (27:24):
indeed, absolutely.
Barry Condon (27:25):
Yeah, that's amazing.
Martha Redpath (27:27):
Yeah.
Every day to look for thoselittle glimmers cause they're
there.
Sometimes we just don't haveeyes for them.
And so that's been that mindsetshift for me to allow those
moments to come forward.
Even in the thick of everythingthat might be hard.
There are always these littlemagic moments that are just a
gift that fill my heart, that Ithink, okay, I got this and, can
(27:51):
appreciate those appreciations.
there's a sticker for the,before the party was
appreciation, gratitude, andjoy.
And my son, that was his toast.
We said, if you look around thishouse, there are all these
stickers, appreciation,gratitude, and joy.
And that's what this event isabout.
We just said a big party.
(28:13):
40 anniversary and my husbandturning 70.
And that was the piece that hetook from it.
And I love that, that rippleeffect, another ripple effect.
Justine Clark (28:22):
Love it.
Barry Condon (28:24):
Yeah, I think, I think, it's, it's, yeah, it's a
ripple effect.
And I think, in practical terms,when you, when you're not
drinking, you do gain a lot oftime because you're not, hung
over or you're not, worrying andthinking about when's your next
drink coming from.
And it leaves you that room,which allows you to be more
present and be, more authentic.
(28:45):
And then that can lead, if youallow it, to be more grateful
and more aware.
And that gratitude, and presenceis so valuable.
And it feels, you know, whenyou're trying to explain it to
someone who's, you know, Not onthe same wavelength, perhaps
yet, you know, they can sort ofthink, Oh, that sounds a bit
weird or a bit sort of, youknow, self, I don't know, self,
(29:06):
a bit, you know, a bit wrappedup in yourself and a bit sort
of, Ooh, isn't, isn't lifewonderful.
But, but in the end, it's howyou feel inside is, is, is all
you have.
And that, that it's soimportant.
And if you do, Take the timeand, and notice what's going on
around you and notice howwonderful things can be.
it just, it can fill you up soquickly.
(29:27):
That's
Martha Redpath (29:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does.
It does.
And, and to think that alcohol,I used to think alcohol was the
thing that would help.
And now have learned.
There's nothing about it thathelps me, and that's lovely
Justine Clark (29:46):
Awesome.
And that's probably a greatplace for us to, to, to wrap up.
But before we do, we need tofind how others that may be on a
similar journey as you, Martha,or, would resonate with you as a
coach.
How are they going to find you?
Martha Redpath (30:01):
so my website is provider space coaching.com,
www.providerspacecoaching.com,all spelled out.
And on Instagram, it is justprovider space.
So I'm there.
And
Justine Clark (30:16):
Amazing.
Martha Redpath (30:17):
to be supporting others in this journey.
It's quite a privilege to meetall these amazing people.
Thank
Justine Clark (30:23):
much for being with
Barry Condon (30:24):
brilliant, Martha.
You're going to help so manypeople.
Martha Redpath (30:26):
Yeah.
Thanks.
And you too.
Justine Clark (30:29):
Thanks so much.
Martha Redpath (30:29):
doing this.
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