Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Fear over food and airline travel.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
With air traffic control staffing problems run a monk in
this country as the government continues to be shut down.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm Kate Delaney.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
That's coming up that story and the man Cave what
happened extra frames Game.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Three of the World Series.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
But before we get there, we always start off with
the rundown on atn The big news is everybody's watching
it hard to see what's gonna happen to Jamaica the
catfive hurricane. Already the early rain bands smashed trees, ripped
(00:48):
them in half, triggered lots of landslides, and they took
out power lines in Jamaica pretty much. Officials are saying,
run for the hills, if you have an evacuation order,
save your life. It is bad, the worst of the season,
there is no question about that. Maybe the worst Jamaica
(01:08):
has ever seen. They think it will be not what
anyone wanted to see. Everybody was praying for a miracle,
a turn here or there, but that did not happen.
Cat five means one hundred and seventy five mile an
hour winds. People are getting ready, including here in the US,
with supplies and anything that they can think of.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
That people will need.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
It's going to be rescue, recover, and who knows what,
But first the storm has to go through. We pray
that the people did everything they can to keep themselves
as safe as possible. It is crazy to watch this
from Afar, especially from somebody who wanted to go to
Jamaica their whole life but finally did only four months ago.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
That would be me.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I loved it. The people were wonderful. It's an island,
and it's an island in the middle of the Western Caribbean,
very vulnerable to hurricanes, but nothing like this. All right,
government and the shutdown, So where are we with that.
There's air traffic control staffing problems. We know that the
Senate met on Monday, but they didn't vote about reopening
(02:12):
the government. So what we're seeing is that you've got
Democrats and Republicans doing the same thing that they always do.
They're talking trash about the other and saying that they're
the holds up, they're the roadblock. So there's no plan,
There was no plan to vote on a funding bill
on the twenty seventh day of the federal government shutdown.
We're going to twenty eighth November one, SNAP benefits run out.
(02:36):
The people who get, you know, they get what's equivalent
to food stamps, won't be getting those food banks or
really gearing up. More people are volunteering already. They've seen
this from people that have been furloughed in government jobs
in some areas.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
But now it's going to.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Get much bigger because forty million families depend on SNAP
and they're not going to have that. We got all
the people that aren't getting paychecks. It's starting to get really,
really messy, and there is no clear end in sight. Here,
a Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
For the sake of our country, we pray that their
calculation is wrong. We believe it is dead wrong. And
as much as they try to obscure it, as much
as they try to distract you, as much as they
try to say that it's about any other issue under
the sun, all those issues were always scheduled to be decided. Healthcare,
the inspiring Obamacare subsidies, the NDAA, the appropriations, all these
(03:35):
other things. It was always on the calendar for Republicans
and Democrats to hash it out in October, November, and December.
This is not a surprise to Republicans is not a
surprise to Democrats, and they all know it. That is
the only thing they could grasp on to to try
to give some sort of argument, to try to give
cover for the fact that they're running from the far
left base of their party. Facts are facts in the
(03:58):
ball is fully in the court of the Senate Democrats.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Now, speaking of the Senate Democrats, House Minority Leader Hakeem
Jeffries obviously has a different point of view.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
For Mike Johnson, We've made the case that we are
not going to support a partisan Republican spending bill that
continues to gut the healthcare of the American people in
an environment where the cost of living in this country
is already too high. Donald Trump promised to lower costs
on day one. Costs having gone down, they're going up.
Electricity bills are through the roof. Housing costs are up,
(04:31):
Inflation is up, grocery costs are up, and now tens
of millions of people in Georgia and in beyond are
facing the very real possibility that they will be unable
to afford a doctor when they need one. We're talking
about a situation where many people will confront increased healthcare
cost of one thousand to two thousand dollars per month.
(04:55):
That's twelve to twenty four thousand dollars in additional cost
per year. When more than ninety percent of the people
who receive Affordable Care Act tax credits make around sixty
two thousand dollars a year. It's unaffordable, it's unsustainable, and
it's unconscionable. That's why we are demanding that our Republican
colleagues sit back down at the table.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Welcome today twenty eight of the shutdown. Meanwhile, the President
is on an Asia trip, a very very important one.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
As you know.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
One of the first things that he did was he
met with the first female Prime Minister, and that would
be Shani Takiyachi, and there was a summit at the
Akasaka Palace state guesthouse in Tokyo. On Tuesday, they signed
a trade in critical minerals deal to mark what they're
(05:53):
calling a new golden age of the Japan US Alliance.
This is important because these are minerals that will help
the US for things like cell phones, so we're not
so reliant on China. And that alliance is about strengthening
the economic security and promoting economic growth and.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Prosperity and all of that.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
The second agreement is the key thing, is what I mentioned.
It covers those critical minerals and it provides a framework
to boost the supply and production of rare earth earths between.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
The US and Japan.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And like I said, it's the raw and process critical
minerals that we need. This is the things that we're
too reliant on, especially especially to China. See, much of
Japan's critical minerals are underwater and that's difficult to mine,
for example. So the US has signed a number of
(06:55):
mineral deals. If you don't know, Malaysias in their Thailand,
Australia's trying to break the it's an effort to try
to break the China's hold on the supplies, right. And
of course Trump is going to meet with Our president's
going to meet with China's president she later this week,
and that's part of a three nation Asia tour which
(07:17):
includes Malaysia. So all of this is important for different reasons.
And of course with the tariffs and whatnot, and especially
with working out the agreement with China and not having
more of that tit for tat and the fact that
China was going to get slammed with even higher, an
(07:38):
even higher package when it comes to terrorifs.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
So it looks like that's off the table.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
So there are good things that are in the wind,
we shall say there right. Definitely goodwill in Japan. Definitely
to meet with the Japan's first female prime minister. All
of that is absolutely on the up, up, up up up.
Speaking of up up, up up up. Wow, this is
(08:05):
pretty cool because we're on the air live. So Top
of the fourteenth, Dodgers and the Blue Jays are tied
at five. They are battling it out in extras thanks
to Dodgers show. Hey O Todi who hit two home runs,
including the tying one that made this game continue to
go on and on and on Monday Night football, Kansas
(08:26):
City in the second half pulled away from the Commanders.
They win it twenty eight to seven. Travis Kelce everyone's
favorite tight end, including his fiances.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Of course, Taylor Swift. She was happy she was at
the game.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
They had one camera on her occasionally, but he scored
his eighty third touchdown, made a little history. As far
as the Chiefs are concerned, men cave on the flip.
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Speaker 9 (12:04):
I'm going to the man Cave, going to the Marri Cave,
Going to the Marri Cave.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Thanks so much. Yes, we are in Andy, the man
Cave and a boy. There's a lot to get to,
so let's just dive right into it Monday Night football.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Not a surprise.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I think that Kansas City won, but you might have
been surprised. We were watching the first part of that
game and it was tied at seven apiece. I was
like what and then things broke apart as they tend
to do. This is kind of the sagas any of
you know who are lifelong chief fans, they are the
comeback kids, and that's exactly what happened. They've started to
(12:50):
pull away in the second half of the game. The
crowd was crazy and went wild, as you would expect
they would have. They're always so loud at Arrowhead, I
mean incredibly loud. So in the end, there were some
key moments. Pat Mahomes threw for almost three hundred yards
two hundred and ninety nine three touchdowns, Isaiah Pacheco fifty
(13:13):
eight yards on the ground, a couple of interesting targets
as always for Pat Mahomes, including Travis kelcey check this
one out.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Second and six Mahomes en.
Speaker 11 (13:28):
Zone taught by Kelsey touchdown.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, that's eighty three for Travis kelce That gives him
a tie with Priest Holmes for the Chiefs career record.
Other touchdowns went to Rashid Rice caught nine passes for
ninety three yards, and you know here he is Rashid
Weiss in his what second game back from a six
game NFL suspension. So a dominant performance for the Chiefs
(13:59):
in the end. And like I said, and they pulled
away in the second half. What's gonna be interesting is
next week they take on the Buffalo Bills. I got
this circled really big in my calendar. One of my
lifelong friends used to work for the Bills, and for
her everything is about the Bills. She cannot stand the Chiefs.
(14:19):
But the majority of my friends actually are huge chief fans.
And for many of you listening to us in Saint Louis,
I know a lot of you are big Kansas City fans.
You know this is a very, very big test because
this is the AFC title game rematch. The Commanders, who
lost and are now three and five host Seattle on
(14:41):
Sunday night. All Right, I saved it. I saved it.
I saved it because yes, indeed, he is incredible.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
You already know that show.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Hey, Otani worth every cent and I never say anything
like this of the seven hundred million dollars he got
from the Dodgers what two years ago one a World's
Series for them. Of course, last year he was part
of the World Series anyway winning team, and he has
come up so big in the postseason all the way around.
Show Hey Otani, including tying the game that then ultimately
(15:14):
sent it into extra frames, which is where it is
now in the fourteenth inning. Tied at five a piece,
mid fourteenth inning, so we're headed to the bottom. Here's
one of Otani's key home runs comes back in.
Speaker 11 (15:31):
It's looked at the deep red field, turns the count
of Batani goes me and the god Jos leave game
thirty on a pair of Soto home runs.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Turn it out these yeah, how about that?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
And he hit another one that, like I said, that tied.
It's so a couple of home runs for him. We
move from well, one quick note on Major League Baseball.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I love this guy.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
He's gonna get on so many of my shows, especially
when I was doing NBC Sports. I had an NBC
when it was in existence Sports show just wrapped up
a couple of years ago on the weekend Saturday and Sunday,
and he came on a bunch George Springer, So the
Blue Jays slugger left the World Series Game three early.
He was clutching his side on his when he was swinging,
(16:22):
so he's got a weird side injury. He was replaced
by ty Frantz, and you know he as soon as
he did it, he knew he called for He called
for the staff. He top of the seventh he grabbed
the right side and no word on more about that
could be oblique or could be some other kind of
a strain, but he is a big spark, certainly for Toronto.
(16:46):
We moved from that back to football for a minute
because the week just wrapped up with that Kansas City
Commander's game that I was talking about. But some interesting moments,
and one of the biggest moments was, uh, this game
between the Packers and the Steelers. I was on the
wrong side of that, meaning I'm in a straight up
(17:08):
fun pool with a bunch of guys from North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I had the Steelers in this one.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I thought it was gonna be tight, but I thought
they were gonna pull it out. It was the Packers
on top thirty five twenty five at the end, and
of course Jordan Love was the backup to Aaron Rodgers.
They had an interesting moment that was caught by a
hot mic when that game wrapped up. Take a listen,
you get it wrong.
Speaker 12 (17:30):
Why did you hear me?
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (17:32):
The rest season? Didn't you hear the NA too? He said, no, Yeah, listen,
yeah there you are.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, still ballin. There's still ballin.
Speaker 8 (17:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It's just interesting because I think he really did mentor him.
I mean, love does say that. So, uh, there's the
good news on that one, right, Okay, the rest of
the NFL interesting too. When you take a look at
where we are. I cannot believe how deep we are
into this season. Does anyone else feel the same way
or is it just me? When I don't know what
(18:07):
it is, It's like, I feel like we just kind
of tiptoed into it, and now, all of a sudden,
here we all are full throttle in the middle of it.
And while you were sleeping and paying attention to other teams.
How about the Patriots. The Patriots are on fire. I
would say Patriot fans certainly know what's been happening. They
picked up their sixth win. They beat the Browns thirty
(18:29):
two thirteen. Here's one of those big moments, be sewing
for the end.
Speaker 14 (18:34):
Zone and back there.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
That catches me case shot Bony has six booty six.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, you know it's interesting. Like I said, Drake May,
I'm just killing him softly. You were getting down the
field do what he has to do. I mean, of
course it was the Browns, and the Browns are awful, right,
but I mean they're staying hot and they continue to
do if you look at their record, but go beyond
(19:05):
the record and look at who they've beaten.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
You know, not too slouchy, right, Like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
When you look at when you look at the Patriots,
I would never have predicted this. When they beat the
Bills twenty three, twenty even the Titans, they slammed the
Titans to the ground and then the Steeler loss was
barely so, I mean, they're having a season, There's no
question about it. It's like I said, it's that we're
(19:32):
paying attention to so many other teams that and heading
into the season if it's not your team and you're
kind of paying attention to the rest of the league,
and then you're looking at your own divisions. You know,
this is a team where in the AFC East you
got the Bills, the Dolphins, the Patriots, and the Jets.
Well minus the Dolphins and the Jets, the Bills and
(19:54):
the Patriots. Right, so they're they're pretty tricky because they're
right up there and they are not going away. In
the middle of all of this is my favorite time
of year. We have the NBA put the scandal aside
for a second, and there is some basketball that is
absolutely happening, some nail biers and then some true blowouts.
(20:17):
How about the Jazz, Oh, the Jazz team is a good,
good team, my friends, and I tell many of you
in Salt Lake City that are listening. One thirty eight,
one thirty four in overtime beating the Suns. That was
a fun one. I caught a bunch of the highlights
of that one. That was a fun one to look at.
The Spurs beat the Raptors one twenty one, one three
(20:43):
the you know, the the thing that I keep getting
asked about, and I guess it'll eventually die down. Whenever
you see the Mavericks is how much do they miss
uh Luka Donkic? How much is that's taken a piece
out of them? Well, I think the fans loved him,
and that's part of That's part of the deal. There, right,
(21:03):
But it's they're moving on because they got to move on,
and they got Anthony Davis, they got other players to
worry about and to look at. And so speaking of
the Lakers, though they're two and two, the Trailblazers beat
them one twenty two, one eight. Some other highlights, I
would say the seventy six ers, they're having a good
(21:25):
start to their season. It's been a couple of rough
years from them in a sense that there were so
many expectations and they just crumbled one point thirty six
one twenty four. I saw some highlights in this Tyrese
Maxi forty three points eight straight in a wild fourth
quarter stretch. Big difference there, And you know, so they
(21:47):
beating the Magic without Joel and Bed.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
So there you go. That's all.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
It was always the crutch, the crutch, the crutch, Sorry
Pelican fans. Oh and three, the Celts really took it
to New Orleans one twenty two ninety. They were just
poorn in at every at every angle that you could
possibly think think of. That's probably the best way to
say that. I looked at a ton of those highlights too,
(22:14):
and that's the story there. Peyton Pritcher eighteen points for
the Celts. They just outscored him thirty one to four
in the final nine and a half minutes. Wow, when
they had just led by just five. So that's the story.
John Sternfels is coming up next. Oh boy, he's got
a fascinating book out that you're going to know all
(22:35):
about Behind the Smile Healing from Abuse, Trauma, Betrayal.
Speaker 13 (22:56):
On the Show Office Colonner, she asked of.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
This time on Author's Corner. This book to me is
revolutionary in a sense and so important. And the name
of the book is called Behind This Smile Healing from Abuse,
Trauma and Betrayal, and it's written by John Sternfells, who
is you know, a guy who's a therapist who's worked
(23:25):
with so many people in his career, and having these
off air conversation with him, I realize just what he
did with and for this this woman, and this is
Melissa Roberts. Will call her and she tells just the
unvarnished truth of her story, the things that happened to her.
So John, we're thrilled to have you here on Author's
(23:48):
Corner with me. Kate Delaney on America Tonight. Thanks for
sharing this story.
Speaker 12 (23:52):
Yeah, no, I appreciate, Kate that you invited me.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Let's talk about, you know, Melissa when she first came
to you, and the things that she had gone through,
starting from her family life, which she starts with obviously
in the beginning, with the alcoholic father and all kinds
of craziness that happened in that dysfunctional household.
Speaker 12 (24:13):
Sure, so you know, when somebody comes in, they're nervous
and they don't know if they should go into the
whole story or not. And so over time, when the
client is able to feel comfortable and safe, they start
to unpeel all the history that they've been going through.
And it just blew me away as she was explaining
more and more of her childhood life, how traumatic and
(24:36):
how abusive, neglected, and it's just unbelievable. And so what
brought her in initially was because there was disturbance in
her marriage and it turned out to be a sexual
addiction that the husband had. But then we started peeling
back going to her childhood trauma, and oh my gosh,
(24:57):
it was crazy. And so I thought might be good
is to kind of for the listeners to get a
little handle on the background of childhood abuse neglect. There
are approximately three million cases of child abuse and neglect
in our country, and that's just what's being reported. Estimates
(25:18):
show that there's two more for everyone being reported that's
not being reported. That's about a sixty seven percent increase.
And out of the ones that are being reported, seventy
four percent are victims of neglect. These are children, Seventeen
percent are physically abused, eleven percent are sexually abused, and
(25:43):
seven percent are psychologically mistreated. An astounding seventy percent of
the abusers are parents. What was really interesting one of
the editors that I hired independently, she read the book
and she called me up and she is crying. She goes,
I got to meet Melissa. I can so relate to this.
(26:07):
In course, my heart's sunk, because, oh my gosh, this
is just someone you know out there doing the editing,
and it touched her life right exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
And when it took six years, you worked with her
for six years, when you would unpack all of this,
did you say to yourself, I wonder if she's going
to come back next week.
Speaker 12 (26:27):
That is a valid point, and a concern is because
you've got to be careful of how you navigate all
this trauma that someone's been experiencing, because it could be
way too much to handle. So you just have to
learn that the needle and thread, where you can go
and where you can't go. It all depends on where
the client's allowing you to go. So it's really about
at their pace. And yet as working with trauma is
(26:52):
helping them to overcome the resistance or the fear of
addressing the issues because it's much safer just to ignore
it and try to move on with life.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, and in telling the stories, talking about the needle
and thread and what you were doing there and the
editor story is really interesting because look at how that
affected somebody in a way that who would have thought that?
And is this why you wanted it out there because
you knew that her story was not at least parts
(27:21):
of it certainly were not unique.
Speaker 12 (27:24):
Yeah, that's good to ask. And so in working with Melissa,
it became very apparent that this story needs to get
out there to the public. A lot of people are
living in shame, embarrassment, or just simply hopelessness. And so
the book was really written out of a desire to
(27:45):
bring awareness and understanding healing and hope to the population.
There's a lot of pain and abuse in the trauma.
And so again sitting across from whether it be women
or men, different walks of life, everyone's been affected by
some sort or type of trauma and they hide in
(28:07):
the anguish behind the Smile.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Yeah, and that's the perfect name for the book Behind
the Smile, because people don't know what when you're encountering people,
what their past is, right, and so to even get
to your door, it takes a serious, big step in
people's lives, and certainly in this woman's life.
Speaker 12 (28:27):
Yeah. What I found, and this is just a broad
brush approach to it, is that there are pain points,
and sometimes people's pain points become so severe their last
resort is to come in to get help versus their
first resort. I'm in pain, I don't want to live
with this, I want to heal. And so you know,
(28:49):
welcoming those that come in right away, but we also
know there's a great population that are just living in
that anguish and that's a resolve of that's what life
is to be for them. But that's not true, doesn't
have to be.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Wow, tell us more about the book Behind the Smile.
Speaker 12 (29:05):
Behind the Smile is really a live account of Melissa's
childhood from the very beginning, chronologically going through the different
ages and development stages of her life, and it really
is a raw view of things that she experienced to abuse, neglect,
and trauma, And so for the reader's Melissa's opening up
(29:29):
her life very transparently, nothing held back, and you're seeing
a journey from a little girl that was a bed
wedding as a result of trauma and no one paying attention,
growing up being abused, get into her adult life relationships
(29:50):
even with a pastor being abused, and then her healing
journey of breaking free of all that and having a freedom.
No but he would ever expect that would happen, and
she's remarried today. Personally, we are friends and we hang together,
do life together, we do Bible study together. And it's
(30:11):
just remarkable because if you just met her for the
first time, she would just be normal with a smile, right,
But knowing the background of her and seeing who she
is today is remarkable. Who would have thunk?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, who would have thunk?
Speaker 15 (30:25):
For you?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
As a therapist, it has to be so rewarding that
first of all, you could put this together. You were
able to work together through that and then you've got
it out there in the world. But it has to
be also rewarding when you know you got another one
through with that needle and thread.
Speaker 12 (30:43):
Yeah, you know the paycheck. The paycheck is really seeing
a person's life change and you go to bed, you
wake up and someone's life has changed.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
That's awesome. Does this give you hope that maybe, and
this is what I think putting it out there, people
who are afraid maybe to get help, will take that
step and get some help.
Speaker 13 (31:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (31:08):
It's very inspirational and also it's effective that in reading
somebody else's stories, some type of connection can bring someone
into therapy and get help. And so it's an influence.
They're not alone out there, they don't have to hide,
and just reading that story, maybe it's a loved one
that someone knows and can help them come in to
(31:28):
get therapy, just to inspire and to know whoever's suffering,
they're not alone.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Yeah. When you started as a therapist, did you think
your journey would lead you to what you're doing now?
Speaker 12 (31:44):
Not even close. I started as a marital therapist and
it became apparent that there's other issues within the marriage
that I was not trained or experienced in discovering and helping,
and I just felt a strong sense that I needed
to understand what else is going on. And to make
(32:05):
a longer story short is, I got introduced to this
area called sexual addiction porn addiction, and that led me
a direction to work with addicts in the marriage and
to help the marriage heal. And then that led me into, well,
there's two people in a marriage, and so we have
(32:26):
the partner, the wife in this case not gender specific,
but she needed help, and so I searched for organizations
that specialized in partner trauma care, and so that just
led in the whole different trajectory. And so now working
with the husband who has sexual problems, working with a
wife who's been traumatized by his sexual problems, and then
(32:49):
utilizing a marital therapy that can help both of them
with the bigger dynamics that's at place. And so it
just evolved nothing that I did, I think first as
a Christian therapist, I just think God just led me
in that direction.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
And again the name of the book is Healing from Abuse, Trauma,
and Betrayaled. Behind the Smile John Sternfelds with Melissa Roberts,
and you've already said this, but what do you hope
people take away from our conversation? And then ultimately I
hope getting your book, which they can get on Amazon.
And of course you have a website too.
Speaker 12 (33:24):
Sure yeah, Johnsternfels dot com. But any major book store
retailer you can pick up the book. It's available in
all formats, even audio. What we want the book to
be able to produce is someone reading it, getting hope,
being encouraged, don't give up. It is hard work, but nonetheless,
(33:48):
healing can take place. And Melissa's story is a testament
even at the worst of worst or the hardest of all,
Melissa came through it. And if she can do it,
I know anybody else can.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Perfect place to end this, John, thank you so much,
my pleasure go to Johnsternfells dot com. You can get
a Partner's Guide to Truth and Healing. You can get
download for Parents, Sex, Social Media and Secrets, Sex, Secular, Relativism,
Culture Biblical. That's another book, Sex Across the Perspectives again
Johnsternfells dot com. Plus the book we just talked about
(34:23):
Behind the Smile, Healing from Abuse, Trauma and betrayal. And
he's got a podcast too as well. The podcast is
so good and so relatable North Point Counseling Perspectives Podcasts.
You can find the links there. Thanks for listening, everybody.
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Speaker 2 (38:02):
Johnny's fair Harem joins us now here on author's corner
for really an incredible journey and what I think is
such an important I'm gonna call it workbook because it
pulls you in, it helps you move the ball forward.
I'm gonna I'm gonna say that's what it's about. And
everybody knows that I'm into that space. And he did
(38:24):
just an excellent job here. It's called Become the Best You,
an interactive workbook for self improvement. Who doesn't want that? So, Johnny,
thanks so much for coming on. We appreciate it, and
let's dive into it. What was it that motivated you
to write this book.
Speaker 13 (38:44):
Thank you, Kate, thank you very much.
Speaker 15 (38:45):
Actually, you know, this work book really comes from a
very person place. My wife was better in cancer, and
during during those long days and hospital we would talk
about our lifestyle, our purpose, about our life and growth,
(39:08):
but especially we were talking about habits and our capability
of changing habits. She had this incredible way of she
has this incredible way of seeing the light and positivity
in every situation, and she inspired me to take our
(39:28):
reflections and turn them into something tangible and a work book,
a work book that could help others.
Speaker 13 (39:39):
It Actually, I actually I.
Speaker 15 (39:40):
Finished the work book and my first book, so Creations,
the day she passed away.
Speaker 13 (39:47):
M hm, exactly.
Speaker 15 (39:50):
So in many ways it is a tribute to her. Sorry,
It's a tribute to her strengths, her love, her activity,
and her belief in human potential, you know. And writing
it was my way of honoring her and sharing that
light and positivity with the world, you know. And that's
(40:14):
how the become the best few born.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Yeah, and I want to mention too, people can get
this on Amazon for a song, I mean, you know,
just go on, you can get it. And as we
move through this one of the things that came up
in my mind is your journey. Tell us about your journey.
Speaker 15 (40:34):
I can speak about one hour, about two days, but
let's make it a long story short actually how it
became or who I am today.
Speaker 13 (40:45):
I've always worked with.
Speaker 15 (40:46):
People and my past. I started working. I worked for
twenty five years for Holy Media Hotest Internationals, and I
learned a lot from them, and I am who I
am because of them, and I'm very grateful. And I
learned a lot about hospitality. I've been born in a
(41:07):
family that I love hospitality. My father built an empire
by understanding people and elevating the customer experience. He taught
me that that creating memorial moments is at the heart
of any successful business or any successful organization. And I
(41:29):
get inspired by him. Actually, and it's my love and
my passion for hospitality, and especially especially my daughter that
she has me in a daily basis to become better
version of myself. She's autistic, she's in the spectrum of autism.
She's non verbal, and she teaches me how to keep
to keep going, how to fully be present, and how
(41:54):
to focus on what really matters. And many times we
waste our times on focusing on thing is that doesn't
matter at all, especially when we're focusing on what the
people think or what the people they might say, and
we are wasting our energy on them, not in ourselves.
Through her, I learned to grows isn't just about skills
(42:17):
or strategy. It is about intention inten intentionally be I
we say it. It's about showing up intentionally every day
and creating habits that align with who you want to be.
Speaker 13 (42:35):
And that's that's what happened to me.
Speaker 15 (42:39):
Yeah, And after twenty five years, after twenty five years
being Hotterreer, I opened my own company and I'm a
customer experience designer. I became a customer experience designer and
I give talks and training how to enhance customer experience
in any business.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah, exciting, full circle definitely from the lessons from your
father and what you ended up doing and the idea
I love that the hashtag memorable oof that's stuck in
my head. We're not going to tell readers everything about
the book, but give us a few nuggets from Becoming
the Best You and interactive workbook for self improvement.
Speaker 15 (43:16):
The work book is designed to help people pose, reflect,
and most importantly introduce new habits in their life. Or
we have to find out. We had to find out
what habits we would like to change or to improve
or to maintain.
Speaker 13 (43:36):
It depends when you know.
Speaker 15 (43:38):
I always say when we're kids, were used that our
parents tell us before crossing the street. Our parents tell us,
look on both sides before you cross the street. We
rush into life. We don't look, We don't do any sides.
We rush into life. We woke up in the morning
before saying good good morning to God. We say good
(43:59):
morning to ourselves phone, and we we don't have time
to change or to adapt new habits in our life.
The World Book helps you to really implement new habits
in your life, helps you to understand what's going on
in your life. It's like a small assessment and you
learn a bit about yourself. And you learn not only
(44:21):
about yourself, you learn how to improve anything you want
to improve a new personal and professional life, and especially
to have a clear intention about what you want. And
when I say intention, you have to get clarity of
why you have the intention of changing or why you
have the intention of having new habits. And when you
(44:42):
have it clear, what you do with that intention exactly
how how much attention you pay to your intention and
don't take don't trust, don't trust on achieving your intention,
take it easy.
Speaker 13 (44:56):
Okay.
Speaker 15 (44:56):
That's that's that's that's a guideline more or less, and
especially it guides you to indentify mental blocks, set achievable goals,
and practice mindfulness in your daily routines. You know, over time,
these small actions compound into real lasting transformation in mindset.
(45:23):
It can be in behavior, or it can be in
your leadership.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Yeah, makes sense. I mean I think too what you
said about the rushing, because that is so whatso many
of us do. Rush, rush, rush, and set the intentions
beautifully said, and that really is part of the essence
of your book. There's no question you've been around a
lot of professionals in your life. You know, you talked
about your journey a little bit, whether it's in customer
(45:51):
service at a very high level or through working with
leadership teams. What is the hardest thing for people to
do consistently?
Speaker 15 (46:01):
Wow, that's a great question. Oka consistency. Believe in the consistency.
That is the challenge. This is the big most difficult
challenge to be consistent. Motivation comes and goals. But habits,
the right habits, are what keeps you, what keeps you
(46:21):
moving forward day after day. You know, true we are
all leaders in our home, we are all leaders and
our companies. But true leadership starts with within you, with
leading yourself, managing your emotions, emotions staying staying rounded in
your values, and building routines that support your goals. Habits
(46:46):
are the bridge between knowing what to do and actually
doing it consistently. You have to be consistent, and that's
the most difficult part I find in every company is consistency.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, yeah, wow. What do you hope readers take away
from your interactive workbook?
Speaker 15 (47:07):
I hope that they can reflect on themselves, think about
themselves a bit. What are the purpose, their potential and
their ability to grow? I hope that most importantly, I
want them to take how we said, I want them
to get take concrete steps to produce new habits into
(47:30):
their life. Of course, habits that help them act intentionally,
stay present, and align their action with their values.
Speaker 13 (47:39):
That's very important.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Yeah yeah, I mean, really, you've given us a lot
to think about. There's no question, and I said this
at the beginning. It's so easy to get this book
become the best you and interactive workbook for self improvement.
Well done, and Don't be a Stranger will have you
back on the show.
Speaker 13 (47:58):
Thank you, Kate, thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
Well.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I am really pulling for the people of Jamaica. I
mentioned this on the show that four months ago I
finally went to Jamaica. It had been on my list
for a long time and it was incredible. The people,
the music, the food. I really really enjoyed it. So
we have our fingers crossed in everything else, that's for sure.
Praying for all of you. This is Kate Delaney. Thanks
(48:20):
so much for joining us on the show. We'll see
you again next time.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Friends,
Fear over food and airline travel.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
With air traffic control staffing problems run a monk in
this country as the government continues to be shut down.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm Kate Delaney.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
That's coming up that story and the man Cave what
happened extra frames Game.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Three of the World Series.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
But before we get there, we always start off with
the rundown on atn The big news is everybody's watching
it hard to see what's gonna happen to Jamaica the
catfive hurricane. Already the early rain bands smashed trees, ripped
(00:48):
them in half, triggered lots of landslides, and they took
out power lines in Jamaica pretty much. Officials are saying,
run for the hills, if you have an evacuation order,
save your life. It is bad, the worst of the season,
there is no question about that. Maybe the worst Jamaica
(01:08):
has ever seen. They think it will be not what
anyone wanted to see. Everybody was praying for a miracle,
a turn here or there, but that did not happen.
Cat five means one hundred and seventy five mile an
hour winds. People are getting ready, including here in the US,
with supplies and anything that they can think of.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
That people will need.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
It's going to be rescue, recover, and who knows what,
But first the storm has to go through. We pray
that the people did everything they can to keep themselves
as safe as possible. It is crazy to watch this
from Afar, especially from somebody who wanted to go to
Jamaica their whole life but finally did only four months ago.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
That would be me.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I loved it. The people were wonderful. It's an island,
and it's an island in the middle of the Western Caribbean,
very vulnerable to hurricanes, but nothing like this. All right,
government and the shutdown, So where are we with that.
There's air traffic control staffing problems. We know that the
Senate met on Monday, but they didn't vote about reopening
(02:12):
the government. So what we're seeing is that you've got
Democrats and Republicans doing the same thing that they always do.
They're talking trash about the other and saying that they're
the holds up, they're the roadblock. So there's no plan,
There was no plan to vote on a funding bill
on the twenty seventh day of the federal government shutdown.
We're going to twenty eighth November one, SNAP benefits run out.
(02:36):
The people who get, you know, they get what's equivalent
to food stamps, won't be getting those food banks or
really gearing up. More people are volunteering already. They've seen
this from people that have been furloughed in government jobs
in some areas.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
But now it's going to.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Get much bigger because forty million families depend on SNAP
and they're not going to have that. We got all
the people that aren't getting paychecks. It's starting to get really,
really messy, and there is no clear end in sight. Here,
a Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
For the sake of our country, we pray that their
calculation is wrong. We believe it is dead wrong. And
as much as they try to obscure it, as much
as they try to distract you, as much as they
try to say that it's about any other issue under
the sun, all those issues were always scheduled to be decided. Healthcare,
the inspiring Obamacare subsidies, the NDAA, the appropriations, all these
(03:35):
other things. It was always on the calendar for Republicans
and Democrats to hash it out in October, November, and December.
This is not a surprise to Republicans is not a
surprise to Democrats, and they all know it. That is
the only thing they could grasp on to to try
to give some sort of argument, to try to give
cover for the fact that they're running from the far
left base of their party. Facts are facts in the
(03:58):
ball is fully in the court of the Senate Democrats.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Now, speaking of the Senate Democrats, House Minority Leader Hakeem
Jeffries obviously has a different point of view.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
For Mike Johnson, We've made the case that we are
not going to support a partisan Republican spending bill that
continues to gut the healthcare of the American people in
an environment where the cost of living in this country
is already too high. Donald Trump promised to lower costs
on day one. Costs having gone down, they're going up.
Electricity bills are through the roof. Housing costs are up,
(04:31):
Inflation is up, grocery costs are up, and now tens
of millions of people in Georgia and in beyond are
facing the very real possibility that they will be unable
to afford a doctor when they need one. We're talking
about a situation where many people will confront increased healthcare
cost of one thousand to two thousand dollars per month.
(04:55):
That's twelve to twenty four thousand dollars in additional cost
per year. When more than ninety percent of the people
who receive Affordable Care Act tax credits make around sixty
two thousand dollars a year. It's unaffordable, it's unsustainable, and
it's unconscionable. That's why we are demanding that our Republican
colleagues sit back down at the table.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Welcome today twenty eight of the shutdown. Meanwhile, the President
is on an Asia trip, a very very important one.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
As you know.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
One of the first things that he did was he
met with the first female Prime Minister, and that would
be Shani Takiyachi, and there was a summit at the
Akasaka Palace state guesthouse in Tokyo. On Tuesday, they signed
a trade in critical minerals deal to mark what they're
(05:53):
calling a new golden age of the Japan US Alliance.
This is important because these are minerals that will help
the US for things like cell phones, so we're not
so reliant on China. And that alliance is about strengthening
the economic security and promoting economic growth and.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Prosperity and all of that.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
The second agreement is the key thing, is what I mentioned.
It covers those critical minerals and it provides a framework
to boost the supply and production of rare earth earths between.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
The US and Japan.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And like I said, it's the raw and process critical
minerals that we need. This is the things that we're
too reliant on, especially especially to China. See, much of
Japan's critical minerals are underwater and that's difficult to mine,
for example. So the US has signed a number of
(06:55):
mineral deals. If you don't know, Malaysias in their Thailand,
Australia's trying to break the it's an effort to try
to break the China's hold on the supplies, right. And
of course Trump is going to meet with Our president's
going to meet with China's president she later this week,
and that's part of a three nation Asia tour which
(07:17):
includes Malaysia. So all of this is important for different reasons.
And of course with the tariffs and whatnot, and especially
with working out the agreement with China and not having
more of that tit for tat and the fact that
China was going to get slammed with even higher, an
(07:38):
even higher package when it comes to terrorifs.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
So it looks like that's off the table.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
So there are good things that are in the wind,
we shall say there right. Definitely goodwill in Japan. Definitely
to meet with the Japan's first female prime minister. All
of that is absolutely on the up, up, up up up.
Speaking of up up, up up up. Wow, this is
(08:05):
pretty cool because we're on the air live. So Top
of the fourteenth, Dodgers and the Blue Jays are tied
at five. They are battling it out in extras thanks
to Dodgers show. Hey O Todi who hit two home runs,
including the tying one that made this game continue to
go on and on and on Monday Night football, Kansas
(08:26):
City in the second half pulled away from the Commanders.
They win it twenty eight to seven. Travis Kelce everyone's
favorite tight end, including his fiances.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Of course, Taylor Swift. She was happy she was at
the game.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
They had one camera on her occasionally, but he scored
his eighty third touchdown, made a little history. As far
as the Chiefs are concerned, men cave on the flip.
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I'm going to the man Cave, going to the Marri Cave,
Going to the Marri Cave.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Thanks so much. Yes, we are in Andy, the man
Cave and a boy. There's a lot to get to,
so let's just dive right into it Monday Night football.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Not a surprise.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
I think that Kansas City won, but you might have
been surprised. We were watching the first part of that
game and it was tied at seven apiece. I was
like what and then things broke apart as they tend
to do. This is kind of the sagas any of
you know who are lifelong chief fans, they are the
comeback kids, and that's exactly what happened. They've started to
(12:50):
pull away in the second half of the game. The
crowd was crazy and went wild, as you would expect
they would have. They're always so loud at Arrowhead, I
mean incredibly loud. So in the end, there were some
key moments. Pat Mahomes threw for almost three hundred yards
two hundred and ninety nine three touchdowns, Isaiah Pacheco fifty
(13:13):
eight yards on the ground, a couple of interesting targets
as always for Pat Mahomes, including Travis kelcey check this
one out.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Second and six Mahomes en.
Speaker 11 (13:28):
Zone taught by Kelsey touchdown.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, that's eighty three for Travis kelce That gives him
a tie with Priest Holmes for the Chiefs career record.
Other touchdowns went to Rashid Rice caught nine passes for
ninety three yards, and you know here he is Rashid
Weiss in his what second game back from a six
game NFL suspension. So a dominant performance for the Chiefs
(13:59):
in the end. And like I said, and they pulled
away in the second half. What's gonna be interesting is
next week they take on the Buffalo Bills. I got
this circled really big in my calendar. One of my
lifelong friends used to work for the Bills, and for
her everything is about the Bills. She cannot stand the Chiefs.
(14:19):
But the majority of my friends actually are huge chief fans.
And for many of you listening to us in Saint Louis,
I know a lot of you are big Kansas City fans.
You know this is a very, very big test because
this is the AFC title game rematch. The Commanders, who
lost and are now three and five host Seattle on
(14:41):
Sunday night. All Right, I saved it. I saved it.
I saved it because yes, indeed, he is incredible.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
You already know that show.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Hey, Otani worth every cent and I never say anything
like this of the seven hundred million dollars he got
from the Dodgers what two years ago one a World's
Series for them. Of course, last year he was part
of the World Series anyway winning team, and he has
come up so big in the postseason all the way around.
Show Hey Otani, including tying the game that then ultimately
(15:14):
sent it into extra frames, which is where it is
now in the fourteenth inning. Tied at five a piece,
mid fourteenth inning, so we're headed to the bottom. Here's
one of Otani's key home runs comes back in.
Speaker 11 (15:31):
It's looked at the deep red field, turns the count
of Batani goes me and the god Jos leave game
thirty on a pair of Soto home runs.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Turn it out these yeah, how about that?
Speaker 2 (15:47):
And he hit another one that, like I said, that tied.
It's so a couple of home runs for him. We
move from well, one quick note on Major League Baseball.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I love this guy.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
He's gonna get on so many of my shows, especially
when I was doing NBC Sports. I had an NBC
when it was in existence Sports show just wrapped up
a couple of years ago on the weekend Saturday and Sunday,
and he came on a bunch George Springer, So the
Blue Jays slugger left the World Series Game three early.
He was clutching his side on his when he was swinging,
(16:22):
so he's got a weird side injury. He was replaced
by ty Frantz, and you know he as soon as
he did it, he knew he called for He called
for the staff. He top of the seventh he grabbed
the right side and no word on more about that
could be oblique or could be some other kind of
a strain, but he is a big spark, certainly for Toronto.
(16:46):
We moved from that back to football for a minute
because the week just wrapped up with that Kansas City
Commander's game that I was talking about. But some interesting moments,
and one of the biggest moments was, uh, this game
between the Packers and the Steelers. I was on the
wrong side of that, meaning I'm in a straight up
(17:08):
fun pool with a bunch of guys from North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I had the Steelers in this one.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I thought it was gonna be tight, but I thought
they were gonna pull it out. It was the Packers
on top thirty five twenty five at the end, and
of course Jordan Love was the backup to Aaron Rodgers.
They had an interesting moment that was caught by a
hot mic when that game wrapped up. Take a listen,
you get it wrong.
Speaker 12 (17:30):
Why did you hear me?
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 13 (17:32):
The rest season? Didn't you hear the NA too? He said, no, Yeah, listen,
yeah there you are.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Yeah, still ballin. There's still ballin.
Speaker 8 (17:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It's just interesting because I think he really did mentor him.
I mean, love does say that. So, uh, there's the
good news on that one, right, Okay, the rest of
the NFL interesting too. When you take a look at
where we are. I cannot believe how deep we are
into this season. Does anyone else feel the same way
or is it just me? When I don't know what
(18:07):
it is, It's like, I feel like we just kind
of tiptoed into it, and now, all of a sudden,
here we all are full throttle in the middle of it.
And while you were sleeping and paying attention to other teams.
How about the Patriots. The Patriots are on fire. I
would say Patriot fans certainly know what's been happening. They
picked up their sixth win. They beat the Browns thirty
(18:29):
two thirteen. Here's one of those big moments, be sewing
for the end.
Speaker 14 (18:34):
Zone and back there.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
That catches me case shot Bony has six booty six.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Yeah, you know it's interesting. Like I said, Drake May,
I'm just killing him softly. You were getting down the
field do what he has to do. I mean, of
course it was the Browns, and the Browns are awful, right,
but I mean they're staying hot and they continue to
do if you look at their record, but go beyond
(19:05):
the record and look at who they've beaten.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
You know, not too slouchy, right, Like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
When you look at when you look at the Patriots,
I would never have predicted this. When they beat the
Bills twenty three, twenty even the Titans, they slammed the
Titans to the ground and then the Steeler loss was
barely so, I mean, they're having a season, There's no
question about it. It's like I said, it's that we're
(19:32):
paying attention to so many other teams that and heading
into the season if it's not your team and you're
kind of paying attention to the rest of the league,
and then you're looking at your own divisions. You know,
this is a team where in the AFC East you
got the Bills, the Dolphins, the Patriots, and the Jets.
Well minus the Dolphins and the Jets, the Bills and
(19:54):
the Patriots. Right, so they're they're pretty tricky because they're
right up there and they are not going away. In
the middle of all of this is my favorite time
of year. We have the NBA put the scandal aside
for a second, and there is some basketball that is
absolutely happening, some nail biers and then some true blowouts.
(20:17):
How about the Jazz, Oh, the Jazz team is a good,
good team, my friends, and I tell many of you
in Salt Lake City that are listening. One thirty eight,
one thirty four in overtime beating the Suns. That was
a fun one. I caught a bunch of the highlights
of that one. That was a fun one to look at.
The Spurs beat the Raptors one twenty one, one three
(20:43):
the you know, the the thing that I keep getting
asked about, and I guess it'll eventually die down. Whenever
you see the Mavericks is how much do they miss
uh Luka Donkic? How much is that's taken a piece
out of them? Well, I think the fans loved him,
and that's part of That's part of the deal. There, right,
(21:03):
But it's they're moving on because they got to move on,
and they got Anthony Davis, they got other players to
worry about and to look at. And so speaking of
the Lakers, though they're two and two, the Trailblazers beat
them one twenty two, one eight. Some other highlights, I
would say the seventy six ers, they're having a good
(21:25):
start to their season. It's been a couple of rough
years from them in a sense that there were so
many expectations and they just crumbled one point thirty six
one twenty four. I saw some highlights in this Tyrese
Maxi forty three points eight straight in a wild fourth
quarter stretch. Big difference there, And you know, so they
(21:47):
beating the Magic without Joel and Bed.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
So there you go. That's all.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
It was always the crutch, the crutch, the crutch, Sorry
Pelican fans. Oh and three, the Celts really took it
to New Orleans one twenty two ninety. They were just
poorn in at every at every angle that you could
possibly think think of. That's probably the best way to
say that. I looked at a ton of those highlights too,
(22:14):
and that's the story there. Peyton Pritcher eighteen points for
the Celts. They just outscored him thirty one to four
in the final nine and a half minutes. Wow, when
they had just led by just five. So that's the story.
John Sternfels is coming up next. Oh boy, he's got
a fascinating book out that you're going to know all
(22:35):
about Behind the Smile Healing from Abuse, Trauma, Betrayal.
Speaker 13 (22:56):
On the Show Office Colonner, she asked of.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
This time on Author's Corner. This book to me is
revolutionary in a sense and so important. And the name
of the book is called Behind This Smile Healing from Abuse,
Trauma and Betrayal, and it's written by John Sternfells, who
is you know, a guy who's a therapist who's worked
(23:25):
with so many people in his career, and having these
off air conversation with him, I realize just what he
did with and for this this woman, and this is
Melissa Roberts. Will call her and she tells just the
unvarnished truth of her story, the things that happened to her.
So John, we're thrilled to have you here on Author's
(23:48):
Corner with me. Kate Delaney on America Tonight. Thanks for
sharing this story.
Speaker 12 (23:52):
Yeah, no, I appreciate, Kate that you invited me.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Let's talk about, you know, Melissa when she first came
to you, and the things that she had gone through,
starting from her family life, which she starts with obviously
in the beginning, with the alcoholic father and all kinds
of craziness that happened in that dysfunctional household.
Speaker 12 (24:13):
Sure, so you know, when somebody comes in, they're nervous
and they don't know if they should go into the
whole story or not. And so over time, when the
client is able to feel comfortable and safe, they start
to unpeel all the history that they've been going through.
And it just blew me away as she was explaining
more and more of her childhood life, how traumatic and
(24:36):
how abusive, neglected, and it's just unbelievable. And so what
brought her in initially was because there was disturbance in
her marriage and it turned out to be a sexual
addiction that the husband had. But then we started peeling
back going to her childhood trauma, and oh my gosh,
(24:57):
it was crazy. And so I thought might be good
is to kind of for the listeners to get a
little handle on the background of childhood abuse neglect. There
are approximately three million cases of child abuse and neglect
in our country, and that's just what's being reported. Estimates
(25:18):
show that there's two more for everyone being reported that's
not being reported. That's about a sixty seven percent increase.
And out of the ones that are being reported, seventy
four percent are victims of neglect. These are children, Seventeen
percent are physically abused, eleven percent are sexually abused, and
(25:43):
seven percent are psychologically mistreated. An astounding seventy percent of
the abusers are parents. What was really interesting one of
the editors that I hired independently, she read the book
and she called me up and she is crying. She goes,
I got to meet Melissa. I can so relate to this.
(26:07):
In course, my heart's sunk, because, oh my gosh, this
is just someone you know out there doing the editing,
and it touched her life right exactly.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
And when it took six years, you worked with her
for six years, when you would unpack all of this,
did you say to yourself, I wonder if she's going
to come back next week.
Speaker 12 (26:27):
That is a valid point, and a concern is because
you've got to be careful of how you navigate all
this trauma that someone's been experiencing, because it could be
way too much to handle. So you just have to
learn that the needle and thread, where you can go
and where you can't go. It all depends on where
the client's allowing you to go. So it's really about
at their pace. And yet as working with trauma is
(26:52):
helping them to overcome the resistance or the fear of
addressing the issues because it's much safer just to ignore
it and try to move on with life.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, and in telling the stories, talking about the needle
and thread and what you were doing there and the
editor story is really interesting because look at how that
affected somebody in a way that who would have thought that?
And is this why you wanted it out there because
you knew that her story was not at least parts
(27:21):
of it certainly were not unique.
Speaker 12 (27:24):
Yeah, that's good to ask. And so in working with Melissa,
it became very apparent that this story needs to get
out there to the public. A lot of people are
living in shame, embarrassment, or just simply hopelessness. And so
the book was really written out of a desire to
(27:45):
bring awareness and understanding healing and hope to the population.
There's a lot of pain and abuse in the trauma.
And so again sitting across from whether it be women
or men, different walks of life, everyone's been affected by
some sort or type of trauma and they hide in
(28:07):
the anguish behind the Smile.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Yeah, and that's the perfect name for the book Behind
the Smile, because people don't know what when you're encountering people,
what their past is, right, and so to even get
to your door, it takes a serious, big step in
people's lives, and certainly in this woman's life.
Speaker 12 (28:27):
Yeah. What I found, and this is just a broad
brush approach to it, is that there are pain points,
and sometimes people's pain points become so severe their last
resort is to come in to get help versus their
first resort. I'm in pain, I don't want to live
with this, I want to heal. And so you know,
(28:49):
welcoming those that come in right away, but we also
know there's a great population that are just living in
that anguish and that's a resolve of that's what life
is to be for them. But that's not true, doesn't
have to be.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Wow, tell us more about the book Behind the Smile.
Speaker 12 (29:05):
Behind the Smile is really a live account of Melissa's
childhood from the very beginning, chronologically going through the different
ages and development stages of her life, and it really
is a raw view of things that she experienced to abuse, neglect,
and trauma, And so for the reader's Melissa's opening up
(29:29):
her life very transparently, nothing held back, and you're seeing
a journey from a little girl that was a bed
wedding as a result of trauma and no one paying attention,
growing up being abused, get into her adult life relationships
(29:50):
even with a pastor being abused, and then her healing
journey of breaking free of all that and having a freedom.
No but he would ever expect that would happen, and
she's remarried today. Personally, we are friends and we hang together,
do life together, we do Bible study together. And it's
(30:11):
just remarkable because if you just met her for the
first time, she would just be normal with a smile, right,
But knowing the background of her and seeing who she
is today is remarkable. Who would have thunk?
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, who would have thunk?
Speaker 15 (30:25):
For you?
Speaker 2 (30:26):
As a therapist, it has to be so rewarding that
first of all, you could put this together. You were
able to work together through that and then you've got
it out there in the world. But it has to
be also rewarding when you know you got another one
through with that needle and thread.
Speaker 12 (30:43):
Yeah, you know the paycheck. The paycheck is really seeing
a person's life change and you go to bed, you
wake up and someone's life has changed.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
That's awesome. Does this give you hope that maybe, and
this is what I think putting it out there, people
who are afraid maybe to get help, will take that
step and get some help.
Speaker 13 (31:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (31:08):
It's very inspirational and also it's effective that in reading
somebody else's stories, some type of connection can bring someone
into therapy and get help. And so it's an influence.
They're not alone out there, they don't have to hide,
and just reading that story, maybe it's a loved one
that someone knows and can help them come in to
(31:28):
get therapy, just to inspire and to know whoever's suffering,
they're not alone.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Yeah. When you started as a therapist, did you think
your journey would lead you to what you're doing now?
Speaker 12 (31:44):
Not even close. I started as a marital therapist and
it became apparent that there's other issues within the marriage
that I was not trained or experienced in discovering and helping,
and I just felt a strong sense that I needed
to understand what else is going on. And to make
(32:05):
a longer story short is, I got introduced to this
area called sexual addiction porn addiction, and that led me
a direction to work with addicts in the marriage and
to help the marriage heal. And then that led me into, well,
there's two people in a marriage, and so we have
(32:26):
the partner, the wife in this case not gender specific,
but she needed help, and so I searched for organizations
that specialized in partner trauma care, and so that just
led in the whole different trajectory. And so now working
with the husband who has sexual problems, working with a
wife who's been traumatized by his sexual problems, and then
(32:49):
utilizing a marital therapy that can help both of them
with the bigger dynamics that's at place. And so it
just evolved nothing that I did, I think first as
a Christian therapist, I just think God just led me
in that direction.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
And again the name of the book is Healing from Abuse, Trauma,
and Betrayaled. Behind the Smile John Sternfelds with Melissa Roberts,
and you've already said this, but what do you hope
people take away from our conversation? And then ultimately I
hope getting your book, which they can get on Amazon.
And of course you have a website too.
Speaker 12 (33:24):
Sure yeah, Johnsternfels dot com. But any major book store
retailer you can pick up the book. It's available in
all formats, even audio. What we want the book to
be able to produce is someone reading it, getting hope,
being encouraged, don't give up. It is hard work, but nonetheless,
(33:48):
healing can take place. And Melissa's story is a testament
even at the worst of worst or the hardest of all,
Melissa came through it. And if she can do it,
I know anybody else can.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Perfect place to end this, John, thank you so much,
my pleasure go to Johnsternfells dot com. You can get
a Partner's Guide to Truth and Healing. You can get
download for Parents, Sex, Social Media and Secrets, Sex, Secular, Relativism,
Culture Biblical. That's another book, Sex Across the Perspectives again
Johnsternfells dot com. Plus the book we just talked about
(34:23):
Behind the Smile, Healing from Abuse, Trauma and betrayal. And
he's got a podcast too as well. The podcast is
so good and so relatable North Point Counseling Perspectives Podcasts.
You can find the links there. Thanks for listening, everybody.
Speaker 14 (34:42):
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Speaker 2 (38:02):
Johnny's fair Harem joins us now here on author's corner
for really an incredible journey and what I think is
such an important I'm gonna call it workbook because it
pulls you in, it helps you move the ball forward.
I'm gonna I'm gonna say that's what it's about. And
everybody knows that I'm into that space. And he did
(38:24):
just an excellent job here. It's called Become the Best You,
an interactive workbook for self improvement. Who doesn't want that? So, Johnny,
thanks so much for coming on. We appreciate it, and
let's dive into it. What was it that motivated you
to write this book.
Speaker 13 (38:44):
Thank you, Kate, thank you very much.
Speaker 15 (38:45):
Actually, you know, this work book really comes from a
very person place. My wife was better in cancer, and
during during those long days and hospital we would talk
about our lifestyle, our purpose, about our life and growth,
(39:08):
but especially we were talking about habits and our capability
of changing habits. She had this incredible way of she
has this incredible way of seeing the light and positivity
in every situation, and she inspired me to take our
(39:28):
reflections and turn them into something tangible and a work book,
a work book that could help others.
Speaker 13 (39:39):
It Actually, I actually I.
Speaker 15 (39:40):
Finished the work book and my first book, so Creations,
the day she passed away.
Speaker 13 (39:47):
M hm, exactly.
Speaker 15 (39:50):
So in many ways it is a tribute to her. Sorry,
It's a tribute to her strengths, her love, her activity,
and her belief in human potential, you know. And writing
it was my way of honoring her and sharing that
light and positivity with the world, you know. And that's
(40:14):
how the become the best few born.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Yeah, and I want to mention too, people can get
this on Amazon for a song, I mean, you know,
just go on, you can get it. And as we
move through this one of the things that came up
in my mind is your journey. Tell us about your journey.
Speaker 15 (40:34):
I can speak about one hour, about two days, but
let's make it a long story short actually how it
became or who I am today.
Speaker 13 (40:45):
I've always worked with.
Speaker 15 (40:46):
People and my past. I started working. I worked for
twenty five years for Holy Media Hotest Internationals, and I
learned a lot from them, and I am who I
am because of them, and I'm very grateful. And I
learned a lot about hospitality. I've been born in a
(41:07):
family that I love hospitality. My father built an empire
by understanding people and elevating the customer experience. He taught
me that that creating memorial moments is at the heart
of any successful business or any successful organization. And I
(41:29):
get inspired by him. Actually, and it's my love and
my passion for hospitality, and especially especially my daughter that
she has me in a daily basis to become better
version of myself. She's autistic, she's in the spectrum of autism.
She's non verbal, and she teaches me how to keep
to keep going, how to fully be present, and how
(41:54):
to focus on what really matters. And many times we
waste our times on focusing on thing is that doesn't
matter at all, especially when we're focusing on what the
people think or what the people they might say, and
we are wasting our energy on them, not in ourselves.
Through her, I learned to grows isn't just about skills
(42:17):
or strategy. It is about intention inten intentionally be I
we say it. It's about showing up intentionally every day
and creating habits that align with who you want to be.
Speaker 13 (42:35):
And that's that's what happened to me.
Speaker 15 (42:39):
Yeah, And after twenty five years, after twenty five years
being Hotterreer, I opened my own company and I'm a
customer experience designer. I became a customer experience designer and
I give talks and training how to enhance customer experience
in any business.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah, exciting, full circle definitely from the lessons from your
father and what you ended up doing and the idea
I love that the hashtag memorable oof that's stuck in
my head. We're not going to tell readers everything about
the book, but give us a few nuggets from Becoming
the Best You and interactive workbook for self improvement.
Speaker 15 (43:16):
The work book is designed to help people pose, reflect,
and most importantly introduce new habits in their life. Or
we have to find out. We had to find out
what habits we would like to change or to improve
or to maintain.
Speaker 13 (43:36):
It depends when you know.
Speaker 15 (43:38):
I always say when we're kids, were used that our
parents tell us before crossing the street. Our parents tell us,
look on both sides before you cross the street. We
rush into life. We don't look, We don't do any sides.
We rush into life. We woke up in the morning
before saying good good morning to God. We say good
(43:59):
morning to ourselves phone, and we we don't have time
to change or to adapt new habits in our life.
The World Book helps you to really implement new habits
in your life, helps you to understand what's going on
in your life. It's like a small assessment and you
learn a bit about yourself. And you learn not only
(44:21):
about yourself, you learn how to improve anything you want
to improve a new personal and professional life, and especially
to have a clear intention about what you want. And
when I say intention, you have to get clarity of
why you have the intention of changing or why you
have the intention of having new habits. And when you
(44:42):
have it clear, what you do with that intention exactly
how how much attention you pay to your intention and
don't take don't trust, don't trust on achieving your intention,
take it easy.
Speaker 13 (44:56):
Okay.
Speaker 15 (44:56):
That's that's that's that's a guideline more or less, and
especially it guides you to indentify mental blocks, set achievable goals,
and practice mindfulness in your daily routines. You know, over time,
these small actions compound into real lasting transformation in mindset.
(45:23):
It can be in behavior, or it can be in
your leadership.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Yeah, makes sense. I mean I think too what you
said about the rushing, because that is so whatso many
of us do. Rush, rush, rush, and set the intentions
beautifully said, and that really is part of the essence
of your book. There's no question you've been around a
lot of professionals in your life. You know, you talked
about your journey a little bit, whether it's in customer
(45:51):
service at a very high level or through working with
leadership teams. What is the hardest thing for people to
do consistently?
Speaker 15 (46:01):
Wow, that's a great question. Oka consistency. Believe in the consistency.
That is the challenge. This is the big most difficult
challenge to be consistent. Motivation comes and goals. But habits,
the right habits, are what keeps you, what keeps you
(46:21):
moving forward day after day. You know, true we are
all leaders in our home, we are all leaders and
our companies. But true leadership starts with within you, with
leading yourself, managing your emotions, emotions staying staying rounded in
your values, and building routines that support your goals. Habits
(46:46):
are the bridge between knowing what to do and actually
doing it consistently. You have to be consistent, and that's
the most difficult part I find in every company is consistency.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Yeah, yeah, wow. What do you hope readers take away
from your interactive workbook?
Speaker 15 (47:07):
I hope that they can reflect on themselves, think about
themselves a bit. What are the purpose, their potential and
their ability to grow? I hope that most importantly, I
want them to take how we said, I want them
to get take concrete steps to produce new habits into
(47:30):
their life. Of course, habits that help them act intentionally,
stay present, and align their action with their values.
Speaker 13 (47:39):
That's very important.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Yeah yeah, I mean, really, you've given us a lot
to think about. There's no question, and I said this
at the beginning. It's so easy to get this book
become the best you and interactive workbook for self improvement.
Well done, and Don't be a Stranger will have you
back on the show.
Speaker 13 (47:58):
Thank you, Kate, thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
Well.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I am really pulling for the people of Jamaica. I
mentioned this on the show that four months ago I
finally went to Jamaica. It had been on my list
for a long time and it was incredible. The people,
the music, the food. I really really enjoyed it. So
we have our fingers crossed in everything else, that's for sure.
Praying for all of you. This is Kate Delaney. Thanks
(48:20):
so much for joining us on the show. We'll see
you again next time.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
Friends,
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