March 4, 2026 • 43 mins
CBS Radio Mystery Theater was a noteworthy attempt to revive in American radio dramas like Inner Sanctum (1941-1952) and Suspense (1942-1962). Radio dramas were widely considered "dead" 12 years prior to this series. CBS Radio Mystery Theater, or simply Mystery Theater, was created by Inner Sanctum creator Himan Brown and ran on CBS from 1974-1982. The show, much like older radio dramas, was introduced by a host (E.G. Marshall in this program), who steers us through the creaking door to start the episode. Many voices from the golden age of radio were featured, including Richard Widmark, Bret Morrison, Agnes Moorehead and many more. Find more classic, old-time radio series at Theater of the Mind - OTR | Spreaker | Apple | YouTube
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Enjoy all six of our commercial-free internet radio stations at theaterofthemind-otr.com - Do you want to discover more of these classic, old-time radio series? Search "Theater of the Mind - OTR" on your favorite platform or visit Theater of the Mind - OTR | Apple | Spreaker | YouTube | Spotify | Amazon | iHeart
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
US Radio Mystery Theater Presents. Come in.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I'm e. G. Marshall. I'm about to let you in
on one of the best kept secrets of the United
States government, an account of a conspiracy to steal ten
million dollars from the US sub Treasury in Philadelphia. This
story has been kept under wraps for over one hundred years.
(00:44):
It happened the year of the Centennial, eighteen seventy six,
but it could have been yesterday. I can only hope
that if there are any top flight safe crackers or
burglars listening in, that this tale won't give them any
ideas water there BJ.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
When my boy Tommy told you is in town, I
was delighted.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
God Noon and Jail sure agreed with you. You looking
a peak Noon, and I got an idea for just
the three of us, you, your son, Tommy, and me.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Oh, I'm that glad you're including him in.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I want the boy to start getting himself some practical
experience as soon as possible. Our mystery drama The Ten
Million Dollar Heist was written especially for the Mystery Theater
by James Aggett Junior and stars Joe Silver and Robert Dryden.
(01:45):
It is sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division and
contact the twelve hour Cold Capsule. I'll be back shortly
with that one. Every cracker jack safecracker aims for the jackpot.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
The pot of gold at the end of.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
The Robbers Rainbow is a big pot filled with lots
of gold or bills, or at least negotiable securities. The
year is eighteen seventy six. Big Jake Erbman decided it
might be a good time for him to leave his hometown,
New York.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
He was well known there.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
His accomplishments and a not too flattering photo front and
side view were posted prominently in every post office in
the land. He was doing so well in the big
city that he made the Metropolitan Police's most wanted list,
so he figured to leave town and take his talents elsewhere. Hey,
(02:53):
welcome to Philadelphia, Big Jake. Welcome to the city of
brother in.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Law, brotherly love boy. For sure you were some of that. Tommy, Hey, well,
what brings you to Philly? Well, you know, Tommy, your
dad is a brother in law of the aunt of
my dear departed second cousin.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I knew he was related, Big Jake, but I didn't
know my dad was your aunt's second cousin.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, it's the other way around. I think, what does
that make me? I never had to figured it out?
But look at least your kid for Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah, hey, how new York City?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
It's getting too hot. So I thought I'd take me
in the Philadelphia Exposition. You know, one hundred years of America? Shit? Yeah?
How old do you know? Tommy? Twenty five?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Go on education?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
No, only playing hooky.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
I never went to school much.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yeah, well, you know what to celebrate the in Philly?
The Declaration of Independence signed? Right here?
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Is that good?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Very good? Is it? Money in it? What?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Certainly was the whole hitting kaboodle of the USA? It
wasn't it. Now. You got a lot of visitors coming
at the time for the position, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
A man said to me the other day.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
There they're close to eight million.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well that's why I'm here, just a visitor planning to celebrate,
you understand, cousin, don't.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Tell me, don't tell me.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
And if each one of those eight million visitors could
celebrate one dollars worth you, you'd end up with eight
million dollars.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Okay, what's a scam?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Did you? You know? You young fellows are always looking
for the easy way to make a buck a time
a chissel, let's swingle at swim flam. But if you
want to make it the big time, Tommy, there is
no easy way. If you want to get ahead in
this business, you gotta wait at it. Why God, that
is the American way.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
You're gonna push over a bank kee?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
You wrecked? Now I'll heard this, couldn't colly? You talk
about taking a dollar meat of eight million people? Well,
what in my head is an idea? That's way ten million? Ten?
What may be more?
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Where? Where? Where do you start?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Where I always do at the top, meaning temmy, my boy,
as soon as I get selling Philly. You mean I
take ourselves a little stroll to enjoy the sites of
the city.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Who knows?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
We may wind our way to the US Custom House.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
They don't have any money there, no, but.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
They do right next door. You mean, yeah, the sub
treasury building.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
You're gonna case the Treasury building?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Why not? The way I figure it, if anybody got
a lot of money in one place, it's Uncle Samuel,
and I am to relieve him of a lule that responsibility.
Maybe a lot. You are standing in the main rotunda
(05:57):
of the United States Customs House build in eighteen twenty one,
one of the finest examples of Neo Greek architecture in America.
I mean, come on, follow me.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Yeah, where we're going these what's up there?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Look? Just walk up casual like you're a visitor having
himself look around?
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, one of the eight million. I get it. Hey,
what's this door marked clock room?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Here's the set of the gun, just like it said
in the blueprint?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Hey, how are we going in?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Give me a naiophile because.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Wa clock? Look at those what ye shut chucking up?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
A yeah, sh that's the biggest clock I ever seen
from behind.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Hey, you know I think it faced his chestnuts creak?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah yeah, what are you tapping on the back wall
for it?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Don't make so much noise. I'm working, Yeah, fucking yeah,
just as I thought. You know what is behind that wall?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Let's say up four street? No, no, no, just again.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Behind that wall is a sub treasury built. The custom
House bats onto the Subtreasury built. And see I got
a blueprint back of my room. You know what it shows.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I'm gonna stop guessing. I'm always wrong.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It shows the fall is on the second floor. Of
that building. You mean, yes, you need we organize ourselves
and come up here on Friday afternoon, which is when
it's close to the public. The custom house people who
work downstairs leave at six and over Saturday and Sunday
we punch ourselves a hole in that wall. Would you
(07:54):
believe in just a couple of feet from here where
we're standing now is ten million.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Dollars behind that wall is ten millions?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, yeah, in gold, silver and bill And.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
How can we carry it all out of that?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Well? And heed? Just one more man, a big, strong, healthy,
ex calm with guts.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Hey, I got just a man for you, Big Jake.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah. Do I know him?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You ought to know him.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
He's my dad, Big.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Tommy, Big Tommy? No, I whyn't you say? So? When'd
he get out of single set?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
He he got sprung last night.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I told him he was in town.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
She's Big Tommy nowan well? By all means, let's go
and talk to him. Hey, there's another bunch of tourists
going down by the sea that and like you and
me go down the stairs and walk over to him.
(08:54):
The pressure at this very moment, sea.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Boy, What I tell you, baby Jake Urban.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh, when my boy, Tommy told me he wasn't told.
I couldn't be.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
More delighted, anew and look at you, you got a
picture of health in conservation. Certainly agreed with you. You
know I read all about you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You wouldn't kid an old man, would you be? Ja?
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
You had the headlines and all them big New York newspapers,
the Well, the Sun. You know that Chase Bank of
American job that was a masterpiece.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
You read about his.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, I am proud to be a relative of yours, Noonan.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
It was a big mistake. Too many guys in ours.
The split got too small, some rat squeez.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I gard an idea for the twe of us, you,
your son and me.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Oh, I'm glad you're including him in. I want the
boy to get some practical experience.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
He tells me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
You plan to crack a wall between the custom house
and the sub treasury in a nutshell. You don't think
even over a weekend that someone will hear.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
All under control? Noon And I hung around all last
weekend to make sure Behind the custom house is the
main post office. See huh, they work all weekend and
it's such a racket down there. I mean mail coming
in by postal wagons drivers shouting at the top of
their voices. Believe me, it could be a young earthquake
and nobody would hear it, let alone two flights up
(10:32):
inside the clock room.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh okay, BJ I'd buy that.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
We just got a chip chip chip away till we
get through that wall. See now, I got me a
great sledgehair with some cold chisels.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
No, no, no, now, don't worry about tools. I know,
just wear to lay me hands on them.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Now if we get through.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
The wall, don't say if noon, and say when we've
cut through? Okay, okay, But.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
How do you know the swag is right on the
other side.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Because this blueprint here tells me. That's how I know.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
And how does it happen to be in your possession? BJ?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Well, I happened to be a company and a friend
who cleans the gas jets for the pigotings, so I
was helping him, and I just happened to see this
blueprint laying on a desk. So I just happened to
help myself, you know, stuffed it under my overhalls. Right.
I thought someday this, the little blooeprint might come in handy.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Very had indeed, Hey, you see that, Tommy son, be prepared?
Prink ahead alrighty, BJ spread out the blueprint and would
have a gander. Tommy, lady, I want you to.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Go down to the cigar store at the corner and
pick us.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Up a handful of panetellas.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
You smoke, don't you?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
BJ?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Only your switch up? Couldn't I do that?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
After? Dad?
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I want to see what you do a planet.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Don't you worry about that? Tommy?
Speaker 3 (11:53):
You just tell me that you out?
Speaker 4 (11:54):
But Dan, how am I ever gonna worry?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Tommy?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Dad, six pan of talas on a way?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Down here? See this blueprint shows us everything we have
to know.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh, yes, yes, I see Ah yes, the clock room
uh uh huh.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
The back of it.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Is right onto the back of the sub treasury.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Bar right now. If we can't punch a hole in
that wall between Friday night and Monday morning, we ought
to give up the business ten million.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
How do you know the three of us can even
lift those bags of money?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Well, if the treasury guys lifted them in there, we
can sure lift them.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Oor. Hey, how do I look there like a Whiteman
Turnier copp around? You're supposed to be a laborer, not a.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Jockey, and dirty up your hands. God guns, take them
down there in the gunner right right.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Now, now, body, you just farm me. Huh. We're gonna
walk slowly like we do this every day.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Around fifth in the chestnut and in we go right
up the back stuff. Okay, bought that one.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
What would three workmen be doing going into the custom
house on a Friday just before closing, Tommy, Deerhush, We've
only gone over this every day for a week. We're workmen.
We're dressed like workmen. We got bags of twos on
our shoulders. No one's gonna question us. Our workman can
get in anywheres. People are glad to see them. That
means something is going to get fixed.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Your dad's right, Tommy. Nobody asks questions. They think the
other guy must know, so they go along with it.
Not wishing group here, ingram general. That is human nature.
We go.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I'm sorry the bag, throw off my bag.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
That isn't your bag, Tommy, that's b Jay's bag. This
is yours, the lighter one.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Haw here, All right, sare now let's go.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I don't know sometimes I wonder who I didn't old
lady give birth to a girl.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
He Nunan. I'm meant to ask you, how is your wife?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
She's still seven times for embattlement up in Haiersberg. Crime
really runs in this family. It's almost hard to believe
that these two safe crackers, Big Jake Ertman and Tommy
Noonan are about to pull off the heist of the
century with a little help from Tommy Jr. We hope,
(14:29):
they hope, But this is the way the story went,
as much as we know today. I'll be back to
you shortly with BacT too. Three safe crackers, actually two
(14:51):
with experience. The younger one, Tommy is just learning. Dressed
in workman's overalls. Walk up the steps into the US customer.
I was on Chestnut Street to Philadelphia, through the building,
past the clerks making out bills of lady and manifests,
and up the iron stairs at the rear. It's fairly
close to closing time, and every government employee is hoping
(15:14):
to get out at six shop and have themselves a
fine weekend. So who would bother Big Jake and Big
and little Tommy.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Hey, we've made it. Did you turn the key on
the inside?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
As we're all locked snuggers are buzzing a rugby.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
He that clock makes some rock that will help us exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
What I thought to Yeah, you were right, Dad.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Nobody even bother to look at us.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I don't know about you too, but I am to
take out our tools, a hammer of Jimmy's, the drills,
the chisels. Just lay them down and then lay me down.
I'm gonna sleep something.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
You're gonna sleep right now, big Jake, I sure am.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Come on, Tommy dog, just time there. You take all
the food out. It's gonna be a long, hard weekend.
It's gonna be hungry, good food.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I didn't bring any food.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
You what, No, I just took those big paper bags
and shoved them in my sack.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
The tools, I think, I mean.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I'm right, the tool can't. But there is this tools.
Two dozen sandwiches, three clots of milk, a lost chicken,
a loss talky apples? Is this toes?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh boy? Noon? And your boy had the worried there
for a minute.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Oh. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth wanted to
bring up your child into knowledge, handing them down the
tricks of the trade, teaching me your profession. The odds
are all great, against you.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Oh, oh my god, I wonder what time it is.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
How about we look at the big clock.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Huh what for tell us what time it is?
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Tell me that clock can't tell us the time.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
When many can't because the face of that clock, you know,
the big round white thing with the numbers and the hands. Yeah, yeah,
that's the outside of the clock, this clock, this big
taking clock, and the outside with the numbers from one
to twelve faces the street, so that people out there
(17:20):
kind of the time, not back here.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Okay, now I think we can start. I'll light the lantern.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
What can I do? What can I do?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Then?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I think the best thing, Tommy, you line up the
tools and hand them to us as we call out.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
No, i'd see right here. You're right about here in
the middle of this wall is right where we are
to break through. Dad. Yeah, let me see here. Let
me take on a look at that boot print.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I got it right here. Dah yeah, yeah, I think
you're right right smart goble the middle.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Dad. Can I speak to your man by then? And
I gotta go go you mean go again, you know,
I go.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Read jump in crabapples. You have to leave everything until
the last minute.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
I'm sorry honest, I don't even know where it is.
I'll find it.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Just got to be when out there someplace.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
I don't know. I suppose somebody sees you see me?
Speaker 4 (18:16):
You said everybody's going home.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
All right, but you get back here as fast as
you can you.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Hey, hey, what's the problem.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Then, well come on, let's start, yea meje I have
to make your indulgence once more and apologize for my
boy youngsters nowadays.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Never planned that.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Hey, I'll be back in a minute.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Hey, it's dark out here. Just feel my way down
the stairs. Hey, here comes somebody with a light.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Uh excuse me, sir?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Could you direct me to the uh uh you know the.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Oh hey, it's good and honesty, it's.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
First right, and there's a door.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
It's mark uh huh, thank you very much, sir.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Say so wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait, hey
you what are you doing in the custom house after hours? Hey,
you young fella? You come back here?
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Hey, there, up in this doll.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I'm out in a minute.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
You're not supposed to be in the bill nowhere is
supposed to be here.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Oh yeah, I didn't know that this after hours.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
The place is close to the public.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
And then what are you doing here? Ian?
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I watch them.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Oh, well, I'm a workman. I'm working upstairs.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I know your workman.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
How do I know you're a night watchman?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Because I say, ah, what else? We're saying? Man spend
the night for thirty one years?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
And I placed like this.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Well, you don't have anything to prove you're a night watchman?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Light?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
We got these keys? Wow, and I've got this club. Listen,
young fella, what do you need a club for? In
cases and in tw one? Sack on the side of it,
and that's it. Ain't no kidding?
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Is it that heavy? Let me see that?
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Hey, hey, hey, she where is that conquer the side
of the head? Stuff really works, Tobby, who's that night watchman?
Speaker 4 (20:25):
He's out called? I dragged him upstairs?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Shall win? Pete gloves?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
All right?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Put him into the road. Carey, who's it?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Night watchman?
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Big shake?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
It was him or me?
Speaker 4 (20:39):
What are we gonna do with him?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
And I thought we could bump him off.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
It's easy. I could choke him to death while he's
still unconscious.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Son, you've been reading too many mystery stories.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
We're burglars, not killers, nomber. What if he comes to
take these rags blindfold him and gag him on. That's
all we can do. Then let's get birth to white.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I'll blindfold him. I've got him.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'll do that.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
I can do Jay once again, I apologize.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
No, no need nothing to apologize for. I think you
boys got a lot on the ball. See if that
watchman had come up here and hide us, we hadn't
hid him, he could have given me alarm. Oh you're right, yeah,
you know it's me what to apologize. My information was
there was two watchmen. They was both sick. Okay, you're ready,
now with it with a swedgehammer. I'm gonna hold the
(21:25):
chisel in just the right spot, right down. Okay, now
give it here.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Oh that's wait today, go on, go on another.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Hold it. You're right, we'll wrap the chisel and claw.
He was the tickets when we.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Got all right, okay, I set try it this time.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Okay, okay, time the rest.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
How long would you say we've been out?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
An hour? Maybe? Maybe maybe an hour and a half.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Hey, hey, can I try? Can I try again?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Son?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I don't think you can even lift the sledge Hambard
let alone.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Sway.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
You just keep changing chaseils and wrapping them up and
handing them to it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Tommy, Tommy, you're being mighty useful.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Tommy, A fast chandler. Come out, thank you boy, Okay,
fire away, jam Hey, hey, hey, let's begin. You're got
(22:55):
your hold, Tommy, Tommy, come over here, you're just hold
Oh it's a six inches Hey, how take is that walk?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, it's hard to tell a couple of feet, I
think yeah, six senches.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
No, we're making progress.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Oh, I'm gonna take a breathing spell. Five in the morning.
Oh that's a tick, baby, Yeah, but we we got time.
We'll make it. It's only Saturday morning, big chake.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
The night watchman came to How do you know he's
moving around?
Speaker 3 (23:32):
What do you think we take? Shall we slug him again?
A what?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Let's go see you? Hey, hi, there there's this tag
too tight around your mouth.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Yeah, he's not in his hair again?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Our kids, who could loosen a little?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I want a way where it's a safe sport. And
he starts yelling five o'clock on a Saturday morning in
this place.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Who would hear him? All right? I hold on whole still,
all entire that's here, and make it there? Yeah that better? Oh? Sure,
you don't want you to suffer this old geez are
like you did. We bring water and a canteen, by
my bad listen. I'm sorry to put you at this inconvenience, sir,
you know, but this is what happens in the life
(24:12):
of a night watchman. Thanks Tommy. Yeah, I'll take this
off here now, I'll hold the canty to your mout. Okay,
now you do understand it is essential for us to
keep your blindfold. You see, we got a problem with you,
(24:34):
and I'll be quite frank.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
My feeling is mostly I don't get any problem.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
I just sit in the corner, quite right.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I don't how'd you happen to get the job of
a night watchman?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
He was.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Just a flup thirty one years ago. I was a
chimney sleep when I come here to clean the chimneys.
Love story, Yes, it sounds like a lovest you're.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
An agreeable old fellow. You're supposing I leave the gag
or oh you understand one tiny little peabody. You know,
I have to ask Tommy you here to give you
a little sleep medicine again.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah, i'd be glad to that's your way about that.
I'm not sleepy?
Speaker 4 (25:20):
You agree that not a sound not a fun How.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
About you holding the chisel and let's see how strong
Tommy is. It's only five too early for breakfast, Hey, Tommy,
go ahead that sludgeham.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Okay, Dad, it's a chisel.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Steady here I come, you fool your broker. My heart
look high, I can't even straight, not the fingers.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm crapping for life. Your pigs tooping any Why did
I have to she did?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
I came away from me with a tame has to
be dropped.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
It out of my pat honest, dead honest, Oh gosh,
I'm really sorry that she's al much a slipped or something.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Look at hey, look it flew into the clocket.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Bust out the clock and just started right.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
About the farnful clock.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Is my hot?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Hey? Then I'll came away from me. Ronald san is
trying to tell it was an accident, dead honest, it was.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
If you ever had the notion a life of crime
is an easy life, put that thought out of your head.
This weekend with Big Jake, Tommy Senior and Tommy Junior
is no vacation or a watchman who's got to be watched.
One burglar with a smashed hand, a younger one willing
but not able, all because ten million dollars.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
It's not eighteen inches away.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
We'll see how close.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
The boys get to it when I return with that three.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Well, are you ready? We continue at exactly the place
we left off.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Tommy Noonan Sr. Nursing his hurt hand, his son, Tommy Junior,
trying to apologize, and in that clock room, suddenly the
air seems too still, too warm. Four people and the
burning lantern can use up an awful lot of oxygen.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Reay, listen, head with my hand and all I feel funny,
all of a suddenly sort uh faint cloud.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Okay, okay, now easy, just lean on me now, he'll
let me have a look at that hair.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Yeah, you are lovely.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
You know what you're telling me?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Don't my house?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Well, I'm just trying to see as any broken bone.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
There weren't before they are now, big Jake, The lanterns
getting weakers, getting darken.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Here turned a wake up, Get dumb, bunny.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Oh why did I have to break such a creature
into the world?
Speaker 4 (28:20):
BJ Yeah, listen, yeah, what is it.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
This room?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
You know?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Alright? Hey Tommy, Tommy unlocked it? Or what's that he said?
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Unlocked? The door. Why are you falling around the red locks?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Or finally I get brighter, dad, and it's getting darker.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Leaving around for going to the door open, They're going going,
going hurry hurry. You want me the smarter to that
it won't open?
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Tommy, where's the key here? Huh? When you brought the
watchman in, you locked the door?
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Yeah, I know I did, but I can't find the key.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I think I'm going crazy.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I must have dropped it. What is it with you?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Tell me?
Speaker 4 (29:09):
Are you working for the police or something?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I must have dropped the key, but I can't find
any I can't even see it.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
I ky, what did you say?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
I said, a ca satinly. He's got the keys, the
night watchman, right, okay, let me have it.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Where is it here?
Speaker 3 (29:29):
In my pocket? The big ring the keys?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Naturally, he's got a ring of past keys.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Hey, which key is it?
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Or where am I? What do you mean? Where are you?
Speaker 4 (29:43):
It's a clock room, the pop room. Which one?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
It's the fourth back key after the second long thin key.
You're starting on your left from my clocks rope? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (29:59):
One? Two?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Would you agree with you?
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Jass?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Hunt me? Oh? Oh b J thanks you?
Speaker 4 (30:13):
He the door's open now I can breathe.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Or if you've got her already, well, well, now.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
What are we going to do?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
How's the hand?
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
The heck was with my share, I can buy fifty hogs,
all of them with fingers.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
I'm not gonna pay any attention to it.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
What's next?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Me, Jay, I'm gonna use a small hammer and chisel
and make the whole wire to see, there are two
out of hammers. If you want to do the same,
I think one hard, big bang with a sledge hammer.
That will be true to the wall. But it's gotta
be made big enough to pull the bags out. See.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Say, dad, did you know the clock stopped? What are
you talking about? The big clock is stopped. It's not
going so what?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Well? Remember before when I hit the chisel.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
See that's how the clock stopped. Did do you think
anybody will nowadays?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Who knows? I'll tell you. Ask the watchman if they
send people around if the clock stops on a weekend.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Hey, he's got who's called the watchman?
Speaker 4 (31:09):
He's not here.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Well, he can't go far blindfolded with his hands tied
on his back. Tommy, go find him money and bring
him back.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
What time is it.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You're getting tired of doing him.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
How much time have we got?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
See? Not much? An hour and three quarters just about.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
They ought to use the big him.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
No, no, no, no, what we're doing is fine. Just
find it is getting wider and wider. We'll be able
to reach in like nothing.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
It's somewhere old Barbra Brick. Barbra Brick, whoever invented this
target side, which knew what he was doing? Hu, I
wish we had better tubes.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Everything you got from Jimmy to Tyke his foe glass.
Don't complain, Tommy, tom get us some fresh chisels out
and how's a hand?
Speaker 4 (32:04):
Oh, I won't lose it if that's what you mean.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
It's brothers. I just don't pay no attention to the pay.
That's all right, Tommy, what are you doing sitting there?
Get us the fresh cheer.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I was trying to figure out exactly.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
How we're related to Big Jake.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Dan, How could you be the brother in law of the.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Aunt of Big Jake's second cousin who's dead.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
My son has doing it again.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
He's trying to drag me bots. What's that that fuck?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Well?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
The difference is that if Big Jake's aunt and his
second cousin are related the way I figure it, I
must be Big Jake's uncle.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Will you got me a fresh chaseler, Tommy, I'm asked,
can you issue? Here?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Are one for you too.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Big Jake? Thanks Uncle Tommy. That's that's right, that's right.
Now you cut away below you right right down there?
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Okay, hey, are we gonna make it.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
A oh yeah, yeah, we'll make it all right.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Watchman is trying to say something. Yeah, hold on, I'll
just some time behind your neck here?
Speaker 3 (33:08):
How's that?
Speaker 4 (33:11):
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (33:12):
You want to have to have an egg salad sandwich
with you? I'm pretty hungry? Why you listen to him?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Egg salad? Yes, there's baloney, salami and cheese, and I
don't suit you.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
You'll have to do without.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh come on, don't be so hard on him. He's
an old man.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
He's getting on my nerves. That everything is getting on
my nerves.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Okay, all the blowy damage.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Oh no, we haven't got much more to go. We
we mustn't let upon.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I think you can hit it with the big hammer
now by witch your bj all the way, Tommy, will
you hold his traces here?
Speaker 4 (33:47):
You're gonna use the sledge hammer.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
I'm getting reminded at this wall. Now, okay, here goes Tommy.
You hold the tracle steady.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Okay, I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Drive that pain clear to the walls, the Harris bar.
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Hey Dad, the wall. You did it.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
I did it. I went through. I hit something soft
like a barge.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I did it. Is that all we do is knock
in the ten pieces and all break offs. When we
can reach in and pull out the bags the clay.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Maybe that's a good luck, home man.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
We don't need luck. Now just wait. Okay, the hole
is big enough. Now stand back, stand back. Don't proubt
me how.
Speaker 4 (34:49):
Much time we got left?
Speaker 3 (34:51):
About seven folks? Tod getting under the custom house?
Speaker 2 (34:55):
About it's coming. Hold that lnqing up?
Speaker 4 (34:58):
What are you seeing?
Speaker 3 (34:59):
The whole?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
The whole, bags and bags and bags. I'll reach it
in and i'll talk to you guys. Will you hold
that hand? That's lantern hide park. Yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Come.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Well, rich.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
To keep handing the bags to me, big shape, and
I'll toss.
Speaker 4 (35:18):
Him to deck.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Even Oh boy, oh boy.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
I don't know where I'm gonna spend mine.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
First, I'm going to buy me a farm. So that's
what I'm going to do.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
What are you gonna do with your championship?
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet.
Maybe something extravagant, like take my gold and buy him
the whole city of New York.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
I know what I'm gonna do, and I'm gonna buy
me one of.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Them far horseless carriages I've seen in the exposition.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
You better get them bags puzzop in the door. We
may have to make a couple of trips.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Hey, maybe the night watchman will give us a handy.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
You want to cut him in big shape? What do
you say?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
No, he's shaking his head.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
He won't.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
What do you think of that? Son?
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Everyone in a while you'll meet up with an honest man.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
But don't let that shake your faith in human nature.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Listen, my arms getting tired. You want to reach it?
Speaker 4 (36:20):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Do I ever?
Speaker 4 (36:23):
How much is each bag?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Work? Could shit?
Speaker 4 (36:28):
I didn't know gold was worth so much.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Army civilization has gone to war for gold. People are
killed for gold, died for gold.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
You know, big Jake, I've never ever seen one piece
of gold, never my whole life. Son, here comes about
your way, Say dad, be careful that bag you just
threw broke open on the floor. No, Big Jake's picking
up a hand for.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Hey, is this your Oh? I ain't no gold?
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Look like it was my knife.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
What do you want a knife for?
Speaker 2 (37:04):
You're gonna cut over the other bags? How?
Speaker 4 (37:07):
Geez go? Sure it looks like what does it look like?
See those little coins before?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
All?
Speaker 4 (37:16):
Right?
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Here comes another bag?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Gentlemen were holding? Will you stop nooning?
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Why stop?
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Hey? What is it?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
Hey? Hey?
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Why are you cutting off from that?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
In that bag over there too?
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Tons? I thought i'd seen no little fellas before? Hey?
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Are you all gold?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Penny?
Speaker 2 (37:42):
You're all cop for pennies? Cop for every single.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Bag for well you mean real pennies, not gold?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
No son, not one of these?
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Is west more than one?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Se How could it be commelooperant?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Pennies? Is after all this?
Speaker 4 (37:59):
I pay?
Speaker 3 (38:00):
How it could be the just leave me another Blondey's damis.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I can't believe it. It's a dream. It's a nightmare.
I'm gonna wake up. I can't believe this. Hey watched me,
watch me? What do you know about the vault?
Speaker 3 (38:13):
There's more than ten million dollars in that vault, and
there's three compartments. The fresh one has a gold ten
million in gold for sure, and there a fairy compartment.
There'll be all the way on your way that has
all the banks the good three million. Because well that
is well.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
You guys made your hole in the middle.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
That's where the copper claims are kept their pennies.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Well, I could kill you. Why didn't you tell me
if you knew?
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Well, I was blind and cold.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
I ain't no way you're.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Reading that hole in the wall.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
So I'll be a son of a gun.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
All that was. Take some You can always use a penny,
you know.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Hey, we blindfolded the man who could have help her.
All right, all right, I'll take a bagfull make a
down payment. I'm a couple of sticks of chewing gum.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Oh that's up. Why did I tell the old lady
if the mark visits an hour Sunday, I want part
of our tack.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I watched by the buyers of foul.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
I guess this means goodbye in a heartless carriage.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I don't even enough.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
You'll have enough to pay for a ride, Troy.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
We gotta go. Okay, the tools are worth more of
the pennies to grab everything you can.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Shoves come into my pocket. Persum me no gag, Hey,
wat time to go?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I hear people coming in downstairs. I follow the plane,
Yeah coming. Where's the key?
Speaker 1 (40:07):
My key?
Speaker 2 (40:08):
The key to the door we're walked in?
Speaker 4 (40:11):
Well, I never found it. I used the night watchman's key.
Remember you took him from me?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
All right? Oh man, Hannah would have passed keys?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Come on, you know them in my son along his swas.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Listen, watchmen, this is no time for jokes. I feel
these hands are on your throat. The keys on my
face is the last thing you've ever seen.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I don't make me has he's kidnap at the sandwich.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
Hard don't know where I never got the keys?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Man? Where that fly? Sammon? No? Stand bag of stand bag?
We better run? No, no, We'll just walk down these stairs,
nice and easy, slow, like keeping cool. Huh, walk through
the building, carrying our stuff, looking just like we would
be looking if we've been carrying bags that go.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Ye, Hey, big Jake, the clock just struck thirteen, which
is exactly what.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Big Jake, Big Tommy and Little Tommy did, walked out slowly.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
For all the trouble they took that famous weekend during
the Philadelphia Centennial in their pockets was a total of
one hundred and sixty dollars and eighty cents.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Nobody even saw them leave the building.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
All it was left was a trail of pennies right
up the stairs into the clockroom, and the sad pile
of bags of pennies and a hole in the wall,
and oh yes, a blindfolded watchman sitting on the floor
eating a sandwich. I'll be back shortly. Big Jake returned
(42:04):
to New York, but he was never the same again.
Word around Hell's Kitchen was his heart went out of
his work. He ended up a bartender in a saloon
on Dykeman Street.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Tommy Noonan got.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
A fair price for all the tools of his trade,
and he and his wife went into chicken farming. Tommy
Junior also went straight and became a tour guide in
that same old custom house. He never failed to tell
the out of town visitors about the new burglar proof
steel wall just installed in the sub treasury.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Vault next door.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
So after all, nobody got hurt, nobody got rich, and
it all ended pretty quietly. Our cash included Joe Silver,
Robert Ryden, and Skip Kinnant. The entire production was under
the direction of Hymon Brown.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Missus E. G.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Marshall, inviting you to return to our mystery theater for
another adventure in the Macob. Until next time, pleasant,
US Radio Mystery Theater Presents. Come in.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
I'm e. G. Marshall. I'm about to let you in
on one of the best kept secrets of the United
States government, an account of a conspiracy to steal ten
million dollars from the US sub Treasury in Philadelphia. This
story has been kept under wraps for over one hundred years.
(00:44):
It happened the year of the Centennial, eighteen seventy six,
but it could have been yesterday. I can only hope
that if there are any top flight safe crackers or
burglars listening in, that this tale won't give them any
ideas water there BJ.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
When my boy Tommy told you is in town, I
was delighted.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
God Noon and Jail sure agreed with you. You looking
a peak Noon, and I got an idea for just
the three of us, you, your son, Tommy, and me.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Oh, I'm that glad you're including him in.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I want the boy to start getting himself some practical
experience as soon as possible. Our mystery drama The Ten
Million Dollar Heist was written especially for the Mystery Theater
by James Aggett Junior and stars Joe Silver and Robert Dryden.
(01:45):
It is sponsored in part by Buick Motor Division and
contact the twelve hour Cold Capsule. I'll be back shortly
with that one. Every cracker jack safecracker aims for the jackpot.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
The pot of gold at the end of.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
The Robbers Rainbow is a big pot filled with lots
of gold or bills, or at least negotiable securities. The
year is eighteen seventy six. Big Jake Erbman decided it
might be a good time for him to leave his hometown,
New York.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
He was well known there.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
His accomplishments and a not too flattering photo front and
side view were posted prominently in every post office in
the land. He was doing so well in the big
city that he made the Metropolitan Police's most wanted list,
so he figured to leave town and take his talents elsewhere. Hey,
(02:53):
welcome to Philadelphia, Big Jake. Welcome to the city of
brother in.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Law, brotherly love boy. For sure you were some of that. Tommy, Hey, well,
what brings you to Philly? Well, you know, Tommy, your
dad is a brother in law of the aunt of
my dear departed second cousin.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
I knew he was related, Big Jake, but I didn't
know my dad was your aunt's second cousin.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, it's the other way around. I think, what does
that make me? I never had to figured it out?
But look at least your kid for Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah, hey, how new York City?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
It's getting too hot. So I thought I'd take me
in the Philadelphia Exposition. You know, one hundred years of America? Shit? Yeah?
How old do you know? Tommy? Twenty five?
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Go on education?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
No, only playing hooky.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
I never went to school much.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Yeah, well, you know what to celebrate the in Philly?
The Declaration of Independence signed? Right here?
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Is that good?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Very good? Is it? Money in it? What?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Certainly was the whole hitting kaboodle of the USA? It
wasn't it. Now. You got a lot of visitors coming
at the time for the position, right yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
A man said to me the other day.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
There they're close to eight million.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well that's why I'm here, just a visitor planning to celebrate,
you understand, cousin, don't.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
Tell me, don't tell me.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
And if each one of those eight million visitors could
celebrate one dollars worth you, you'd end up with eight
million dollars.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Okay, what's a scam?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Did you? You know? You young fellows are always looking
for the easy way to make a buck a time
a chissel, let's swingle at swim flam. But if you
want to make it the big time, Tommy, there is
no easy way. If you want to get ahead in
this business, you gotta wait at it. Why God, that
is the American way.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
You're gonna push over a bank kee?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
You wrecked? Now I'll heard this, couldn't colly? You talk
about taking a dollar meat of eight million people? Well,
what in my head is an idea? That's way ten million? Ten?
What may be more?
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Where? Where? Where do you start?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Where I always do at the top, meaning temmy, my boy,
as soon as I get selling Philly. You mean I
take ourselves a little stroll to enjoy the sites of
the city.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Who knows?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
We may wind our way to the US Custom House.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
They don't have any money there, no, but.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
They do right next door. You mean, yeah, the sub
treasury building.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
You're gonna case the Treasury building?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Why not? The way I figure it, if anybody got
a lot of money in one place, it's Uncle Samuel,
and I am to relieve him of a lule that responsibility.
Maybe a lot. You are standing in the main rotunda
(05:57):
of the United States Customs House build in eighteen twenty one,
one of the finest examples of Neo Greek architecture in America.
I mean, come on, follow me.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Yeah, where we're going these what's up there?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Look? Just walk up casual like you're a visitor having
himself look around?
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, one of the eight million. I get it. Hey,
what's this door marked clock room?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Here's the set of the gun, just like it said
in the blueprint?
Speaker 4 (06:31):
Hey, how are we going in?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Give me a naiophile because.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Wa clock? Look at those what ye shut chucking up?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
A yeah, sh that's the biggest clock I ever seen
from behind.
Speaker 4 (06:52):
Hey, you know I think it faced his chestnuts creak?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah yeah, what are you tapping on the back wall
for it?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Don't make so much noise. I'm working, Yeah, fucking yeah,
just as I thought. You know what is behind that wall?
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Let's say up four street? No, no, no, just again.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Behind that wall is a sub treasury built. The custom
House bats onto the Subtreasury built. And see I got
a blueprint back of my room. You know what it shows.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
I'm gonna stop guessing. I'm always wrong.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It shows the fall is on the second floor. Of
that building. You mean, yes, you need we organize ourselves
and come up here on Friday afternoon, which is when
it's close to the public. The custom house people who
work downstairs leave at six and over Saturday and Sunday
we punch ourselves a hole in that wall. Would you
(07:54):
believe in just a couple of feet from here where
we're standing now is ten million.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Dollars behind that wall is ten millions?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, yeah, in gold, silver and bill And.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
How can we carry it all out of that?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Well? And heed? Just one more man, a big, strong, healthy,
ex calm with guts.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Hey, I got just a man for you, Big Jake.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah. Do I know him?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You ought to know him.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
He's my dad, Big.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Tommy, Big Tommy? No, I whyn't you say? So? When'd
he get out of single set?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
He he got sprung last night.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
I told him he was in town.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
She's Big Tommy nowan well? By all means, let's go
and talk to him. Hey, there's another bunch of tourists
going down by the sea that and like you and
me go down the stairs and walk over to him.
(08:54):
The pressure at this very moment, sea.
Speaker 4 (08:58):
Boy, What I tell you, baby Jake Urban.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh, when my boy, Tommy told me he wasn't told.
I couldn't be.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
More delighted, anew and look at you, you got a
picture of health in conservation. Certainly agreed with you. You
know I read all about you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You wouldn't kid an old man, would you be? Ja?
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
You had the headlines and all them big New York newspapers,
the Well, the Sun. You know that Chase Bank of
American job that was a masterpiece.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
You read about his.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, I am proud to be a relative of yours, Noonan.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
It was a big mistake. Too many guys in ours.
The split got too small, some rat squeez.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I gard an idea for the twe of us, you,
your son and me.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Oh, I'm glad you're including him in. I want the
boy to get some practical experience.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
He tells me.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
You plan to crack a wall between the custom house
and the sub treasury in a nutshell. You don't think
even over a weekend that someone will hear.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
All under control? Noon And I hung around all last
weekend to make sure Behind the custom house is the
main post office. See huh, they work all weekend and
it's such a racket down there. I mean mail coming
in by postal wagons drivers shouting at the top of
their voices. Believe me, it could be a young earthquake
and nobody would hear it, let alone two flights up
(10:32):
inside the clock room.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Oh okay, BJ I'd buy that.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
We just got a chip chip chip away till we
get through that wall. See now, I got me a
great sledgehair with some cold chisels.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
No, no, no, now, don't worry about tools. I know,
just wear to lay me hands on them.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Now if we get through.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
The wall, don't say if noon, and say when we've
cut through? Okay, okay, But.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
How do you know the swag is right on the
other side.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Because this blueprint here tells me. That's how I know.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
And how does it happen to be in your possession? BJ?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Well, I happened to be a company and a friend
who cleans the gas jets for the pigotings, so I
was helping him, and I just happened to see this
blueprint laying on a desk. So I just happened to
help myself, you know, stuffed it under my overhalls. Right.
I thought someday this, the little blooeprint might come in handy.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Very had indeed, Hey, you see that, Tommy son, be prepared?
Prink ahead alrighty, BJ spread out the blueprint and would
have a gander. Tommy, lady, I want you to.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Go down to the cigar store at the corner and
pick us.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Up a handful of panetellas.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
You smoke, don't you?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
BJ?
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Only your switch up? Couldn't I do that?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
After? Dad?
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I want to see what you do a planet.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Don't you worry about that? Tommy?
Speaker 3 (11:53):
You just tell me that you out?
Speaker 4 (11:54):
But Dan, how am I ever gonna worry?
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Tommy?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Dad, six pan of talas on a way?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Down here? See this blueprint shows us everything we have
to know.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh, yes, yes, I see Ah yes, the clock room
uh uh huh.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
The back of it.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Is right onto the back of the sub treasury.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Bar right now. If we can't punch a hole in
that wall between Friday night and Monday morning, we ought
to give up the business ten million.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
How do you know the three of us can even
lift those bags of money?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Well, if the treasury guys lifted them in there, we
can sure lift them.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Oor. Hey, how do I look there like a Whiteman
Turnier copp around? You're supposed to be a laborer, not a.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Jockey, and dirty up your hands. God guns, take them
down there in the gunner right right.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Now, now, body, you just farm me. Huh. We're gonna
walk slowly like we do this every day.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Around fifth in the chestnut and in we go right
up the back stuff. Okay, bought that one.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
What would three workmen be doing going into the custom
house on a Friday just before closing, Tommy, Deerhush, We've
only gone over this every day for a week. We're workmen.
We're dressed like workmen. We got bags of twos on
our shoulders. No one's gonna question us. Our workman can
get in anywheres. People are glad to see them. That
means something is going to get fixed.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Your dad's right, Tommy. Nobody asks questions. They think the
other guy must know, so they go along with it.
Not wishing group here, ingram general. That is human nature.
We go.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I'm sorry the bag, throw off my bag.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
That isn't your bag, Tommy, that's b Jay's bag. This
is yours, the lighter one.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Haw here, All right, sare now let's go.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I don't know sometimes I wonder who I didn't old
lady give birth to a girl.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
He Nunan. I'm meant to ask you, how is your wife?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
She's still seven times for embattlement up in Haiersberg. Crime
really runs in this family. It's almost hard to believe
that these two safe crackers, Big Jake Ertman and Tommy
Noonan are about to pull off the heist of the
century with a little help from Tommy Jr. We hope,
(14:29):
they hope, But this is the way the story went,
as much as we know today. I'll be back to
you shortly with BacT too. Three safe crackers, actually two
(14:51):
with experience. The younger one, Tommy is just learning. Dressed
in workman's overalls. Walk up the steps into the US customer.
I was on Chestnut Street to Philadelphia, through the building,
past the clerks making out bills of lady and manifests,
and up the iron stairs at the rear. It's fairly
close to closing time, and every government employee is hoping
(15:14):
to get out at six shop and have themselves a
fine weekend. So who would bother Big Jake and Big
and little Tommy.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Hey, we've made it. Did you turn the key on
the inside?
Speaker 3 (15:28):
As we're all locked snuggers are buzzing a rugby.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
He that clock makes some rock that will help us exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
What I thought to Yeah, you were right, Dad.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Nobody even bother to look at us.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I don't know about you too, but I am to
take out our tools, a hammer of Jimmy's, the drills,
the chisels. Just lay them down and then lay me down.
I'm gonna sleep something.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
You're gonna sleep right now, big Jake, I sure am.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Come on, Tommy dog, just time there. You take all
the food out. It's gonna be a long, hard weekend.
It's gonna be hungry, good food.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I didn't bring any food.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
You what, No, I just took those big paper bags
and shoved them in my sack.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
The tools, I think, I mean.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I'm right, the tool can't. But there is this tools.
Two dozen sandwiches, three clots of milk, a lost chicken,
a loss talky apples? Is this toes?
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Oh boy? Noon? And your boy had the worried there
for a minute.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Oh. Sometimes I wonder if it's really worth wanted to
bring up your child into knowledge, handing them down the
tricks of the trade, teaching me your profession. The odds
are all great, against you.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Oh, oh my god, I wonder what time it is.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
How about we look at the big clock.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Huh what for tell us what time it is?
Speaker 4 (16:55):
Tell me that clock can't tell us the time.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
When many can't because the face of that clock, you know,
the big round white thing with the numbers and the hands. Yeah, yeah,
that's the outside of the clock, this clock, this big
taking clock, and the outside with the numbers from one
to twelve faces the street, so that people out there
(17:20):
kind of the time, not back here.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Okay, now I think we can start. I'll light the lantern.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
What can I do? What can I do?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Then?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I think the best thing, Tommy, you line up the
tools and hand them to us as we call out.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
No, i'd see right here. You're right about here in
the middle of this wall is right where we are
to break through. Dad. Yeah, let me see here. Let
me take on a look at that boot print.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I got it right here. Dah yeah, yeah, I think
you're right right smart goble the middle.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Dad. Can I speak to your man by then? And
I gotta go go you mean go again, you know,
I go.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Read jump in crabapples. You have to leave everything until
the last minute.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
I'm sorry honest, I don't even know where it is.
I'll find it.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Just got to be when out there someplace.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
I don't know. I suppose somebody sees you see me?
Speaker 4 (18:16):
You said everybody's going home.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
All right, but you get back here as fast as
you can you.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Hey, hey, what's the problem.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Then, well come on, let's start, yea meje I have
to make your indulgence once more and apologize for my
boy youngsters nowadays.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Never planned that.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Hey, I'll be back in a minute.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Hey, it's dark out here. Just feel my way down
the stairs. Hey, here comes somebody with a light.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Uh excuse me, sir?
Speaker 4 (18:53):
Could you direct me to the uh uh you know the.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Oh hey, it's good and honesty, it's.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
First right, and there's a door.
Speaker 4 (19:01):
It's mark uh huh, thank you very much, sir.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Say so wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait, hey
you what are you doing in the custom house after hours? Hey,
you young fella? You come back here?
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Hey, there, up in this doll.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I'm out in a minute.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
You're not supposed to be in the bill nowhere is
supposed to be here.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Oh yeah, I didn't know that this after hours.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
The place is close to the public.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
And then what are you doing here? Ian?
Speaker 3 (19:30):
I watch them.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
Oh, well, I'm a workman. I'm working upstairs.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I know your workman.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
How do I know you're a night watchman?
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Because I say, ah, what else? We're saying? Man spend
the night for thirty one years?
Speaker 1 (19:44):
And I placed like this.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
Well, you don't have anything to prove you're a night watchman?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Light?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
We got these keys? Wow, and I've got this club. Listen,
young fella, what do you need a club for? In
cases and in tw one? Sack on the side of it,
and that's it. Ain't no kidding?
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Is it that heavy? Let me see that?
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Hey, hey, hey, she where is that conquer the side
of the head? Stuff really works, Tobby, who's that night watchman?
Speaker 4 (20:25):
He's out called? I dragged him upstairs?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Shall win? Pete gloves?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
All right?
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Put him into the road. Carey, who's it?
Speaker 4 (20:36):
Night watchman?
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Big shake?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
It was him or me?
Speaker 4 (20:39):
What are we gonna do with him?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
And I thought we could bump him off.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
It's easy. I could choke him to death while he's
still unconscious.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Son, you've been reading too many mystery stories.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
We're burglars, not killers, nomber. What if he comes to
take these rags blindfold him and gag him on. That's
all we can do. Then let's get birth to white.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
I'll blindfold him. I've got him.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'll do that.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
I can do Jay once again, I apologize.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
No, no need nothing to apologize for. I think you
boys got a lot on the ball. See if that
watchman had come up here and hide us, we hadn't
hid him, he could have given me alarm. Oh you're right, yeah,
you know it's me what to apologize. My information was
there was two watchmen. They was both sick. Okay, you're ready,
now with it with a swedgehammer. I'm gonna hold the
(21:25):
chisel in just the right spot, right down. Okay, now
give it here.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Oh that's wait today, go on, go on another.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Hold it. You're right, we'll wrap the chisel and claw.
He was the tickets when we.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Got all right, okay, I set try it this time.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Okay, okay, time the rest.
Speaker 4 (22:11):
How long would you say we've been out?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
An hour? Maybe? Maybe maybe an hour and a half.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Hey, hey, can I try? Can I try again?
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Son?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I don't think you can even lift the sledge Hambard
let alone.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Sway.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
You just keep changing chaseils and wrapping them up and
handing them to it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Tommy, Tommy, you're being mighty useful.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Tommy, A fast chandler. Come out, thank you boy, Okay,
fire away, jam Hey, hey, hey, let's begin. You're got
(22:55):
your hold, Tommy, Tommy, come over here, you're just hold
Oh it's a six inches Hey, how take is that walk?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Yeah, it's hard to tell a couple of feet, I
think yeah, six senches.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
No, we're making progress.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Oh, I'm gonna take a breathing spell. Five in the morning.
Oh that's a tick, baby, Yeah, but we we got time.
We'll make it. It's only Saturday morning, big chake.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
The night watchman came to How do you know he's
moving around?
Speaker 3 (23:32):
What do you think we take? Shall we slug him again?
A what?
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Let's go see you? Hey, hi, there there's this tag
too tight around your mouth.
Speaker 4 (23:41):
Yeah, he's not in his hair again?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Our kids, who could loosen a little?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I want a way where it's a safe sport. And
he starts yelling five o'clock on a Saturday morning in
this place.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Who would hear him? All right? I hold on whole still,
all entire that's here, and make it there? Yeah that better? Oh? Sure,
you don't want you to suffer this old geez are
like you did. We bring water and a canteen, by
my bad listen. I'm sorry to put you at this inconvenience, sir,
you know, but this is what happens in the life
(24:12):
of a night watchman. Thanks Tommy. Yeah, I'll take this
off here now, I'll hold the canty to your mout. Okay,
now you do understand it is essential for us to
keep your blindfold. You see, we got a problem with you,
(24:34):
and I'll be quite frank.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
My feeling is mostly I don't get any problem.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
I just sit in the corner, quite right.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
I don't how'd you happen to get the job of
a night watchman?
Speaker 3 (24:50):
He was.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Just a flup thirty one years ago. I was a
chimney sleep when I come here to clean the chimneys.
Love story, Yes, it sounds like a lovest you're.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
An agreeable old fellow. You're supposing I leave the gag
or oh you understand one tiny little peabody. You know,
I have to ask Tommy you here to give you
a little sleep medicine again.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah, i'd be glad to that's your way about that.
I'm not sleepy?
Speaker 4 (25:20):
You agree that not a sound not a fun How.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
About you holding the chisel and let's see how strong
Tommy is. It's only five too early for breakfast, Hey, Tommy,
go ahead that sludgeham.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Okay, Dad, it's a chisel.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Steady here I come, you fool your broker. My heart
look high, I can't even straight, not the fingers.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I'm crapping for life. Your pigs tooping any Why did
I have to she did?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
I came away from me with a tame has to
be dropped.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
It out of my pat honest, dead honest, Oh gosh,
I'm really sorry that she's al much a slipped or something.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Look at hey, look it flew into the clocket.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Bust out the clock and just started right.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
About the farnful clock.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Is my hot?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Hey? Then I'll came away from me. Ronald san is
trying to tell it was an accident, dead honest, it was.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
If you ever had the notion a life of crime
is an easy life, put that thought out of your head.
This weekend with Big Jake, Tommy Senior and Tommy Junior
is no vacation or a watchman who's got to be watched.
One burglar with a smashed hand, a younger one willing
but not able, all because ten million dollars.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
It's not eighteen inches away.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
We'll see how close.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
The boys get to it when I return with that three.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Well, are you ready? We continue at exactly the place
we left off.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Tommy Noonan Sr. Nursing his hurt hand, his son, Tommy Junior,
trying to apologize, and in that clock room, suddenly the
air seems too still, too warm. Four people and the
burning lantern can use up an awful lot of oxygen.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
Reay, listen, head with my hand and all I feel funny,
all of a suddenly sort uh faint cloud.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Okay, okay, now easy, just lean on me now, he'll
let me have a look at that hair.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Yeah, you are lovely.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
You know what you're telling me?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Don't my house?
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Well, I'm just trying to see as any broken bone.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
There weren't before they are now, big Jake, The lanterns
getting weakers, getting darken.
Speaker 4 (28:12):
Here turned a wake up, Get dumb, bunny.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Oh why did I have to break such a creature
into the world?
Speaker 4 (28:20):
BJ Yeah, listen, yeah, what is it.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
This room?
Speaker 4 (28:27):
You know?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Alright? Hey Tommy, Tommy unlocked it? Or what's that he said?
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Unlocked? The door. Why are you falling around the red locks?
Speaker 4 (28:37):
Or finally I get brighter, dad, and it's getting darker.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Leaving around for going to the door open, They're going going,
going hurry hurry. You want me the smarter to that
it won't open?
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Tommy, where's the key here? Huh? When you brought the
watchman in, you locked the door?
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Yeah, I know I did, but I can't find the key.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I think I'm going crazy.
Speaker 4 (29:04):
I must have dropped it. What is it with you?
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Tell me?
Speaker 4 (29:09):
Are you working for the police or something?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I must have dropped the key, but I can't find
any I can't even see it.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
I ky, what did you say?
Speaker 2 (29:22):
I said, a ca satinly. He's got the keys, the
night watchman, right, okay, let me have it.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Where is it here?
Speaker 3 (29:29):
In my pocket? The big ring the keys?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Naturally, he's got a ring of past keys.
Speaker 4 (29:35):
Hey, which key is it?
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Or where am I? What do you mean? Where are you?
Speaker 4 (29:43):
It's a clock room, the pop room. Which one?
Speaker 3 (29:50):
It's the fourth back key after the second long thin key.
You're starting on your left from my clocks rope? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (29:59):
One? Two?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Would you agree with you?
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Jass?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Hunt me? Oh? Oh b J thanks you?
Speaker 4 (30:13):
He the door's open now I can breathe.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Or if you've got her already, well, well, now.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
What are we going to do?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
How's the hand?
Speaker 4 (30:24):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (30:25):
The heck was with my share, I can buy fifty hogs,
all of them with fingers.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
I'm not gonna pay any attention to it.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
What's next?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Me, Jay, I'm gonna use a small hammer and chisel
and make the whole wire to see, there are two
out of hammers. If you want to do the same,
I think one hard, big bang with a sledge hammer.
That will be true to the wall. But it's gotta
be made big enough to pull the bags out. See.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
Say, dad, did you know the clock stopped? What are
you talking about? The big clock is stopped. It's not
going so what?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Well? Remember before when I hit the chisel.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
See that's how the clock stopped. Did do you think
anybody will nowadays?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Who knows? I'll tell you. Ask the watchman if they
send people around if the clock stops on a weekend.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Hey, he's got who's called the watchman?
Speaker 4 (31:09):
He's not here.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Well, he can't go far blindfolded with his hands tied
on his back. Tommy, go find him money and bring
him back.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
What time is it.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You're getting tired of doing him.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
How much time have we got?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
See? Not much? An hour and three quarters just about.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
They ought to use the big him.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
No, no, no, no, what we're doing is fine. Just
find it is getting wider and wider. We'll be able
to reach in like nothing.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
It's somewhere old Barbra Brick. Barbra Brick, whoever invented this
target side, which knew what he was doing? Hu, I
wish we had better tubes.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Everything you got from Jimmy to Tyke his foe glass.
Don't complain, Tommy, tom get us some fresh chisels out
and how's a hand?
Speaker 4 (32:04):
Oh, I won't lose it if that's what you mean.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
It's brothers. I just don't pay no attention to the pay.
That's all right, Tommy, what are you doing sitting there?
Get us the fresh cheer.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I was trying to figure out exactly.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
How we're related to Big Jake.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Dan, How could you be the brother in law of the.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Aunt of Big Jake's second cousin who's dead.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
My son has doing it again.
Speaker 3 (32:27):
He's trying to drag me bots. What's that that fuck?
Speaker 4 (32:31):
Well?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
The difference is that if Big Jake's aunt and his
second cousin are related the way I figure it, I
must be Big Jake's uncle.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Will you got me a fresh chaseler, Tommy, I'm asked,
can you issue? Here?
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Are one for you too.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Big Jake? Thanks Uncle Tommy. That's that's right, that's right.
Now you cut away below you right right down there?
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Okay, hey, are we gonna make it.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
A oh yeah, yeah, we'll make it all right.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Watchman is trying to say something. Yeah, hold on, I'll
just some time behind your neck here?
Speaker 3 (33:08):
How's that?
Speaker 4 (33:11):
What do you want?
Speaker 3 (33:12):
You want to have to have an egg salad sandwich
with you? I'm pretty hungry? Why you listen to him?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Egg salad? Yes, there's baloney, salami and cheese, and I
don't suit you.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
You'll have to do without.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Oh come on, don't be so hard on him. He's
an old man.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
He's getting on my nerves. That everything is getting on
my nerves.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Okay, all the blowy damage.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Oh no, we haven't got much more to go. We
we mustn't let upon.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I think you can hit it with the big hammer
now by witch your bj all the way, Tommy, will
you hold his traces here?
Speaker 4 (33:47):
You're gonna use the sledge hammer.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
I'm getting reminded at this wall. Now, okay, here goes Tommy.
You hold the tracle steady.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
Okay, I'm going to.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
Drive that pain clear to the walls, the Harris bar.
I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Hey Dad, the wall. You did it.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
I did it. I went through. I hit something soft
like a barge.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I did it. Is that all we do is knock
in the ten pieces and all break offs. When we
can reach in and pull out the bags the clay.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Maybe that's a good luck, home man.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
We don't need luck. Now just wait. Okay, the hole
is big enough. Now stand back, stand back. Don't proubt
me how.
Speaker 4 (34:49):
Much time we got left?
Speaker 3 (34:51):
About seven folks? Tod getting under the custom house?
Speaker 2 (34:55):
About it's coming. Hold that lnqing up?
Speaker 4 (34:58):
What are you seeing?
Speaker 3 (34:59):
The whole?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
The whole, bags and bags and bags. I'll reach it
in and i'll talk to you guys. Will you hold
that hand? That's lantern hide park. Yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Come.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Well, rich.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
To keep handing the bags to me, big shape, and
I'll toss.
Speaker 4 (35:18):
Him to deck.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Even Oh boy, oh boy.
Speaker 4 (35:23):
I don't know where I'm gonna spend mine.
Speaker 3 (35:25):
First, I'm going to buy me a farm. So that's
what I'm going to do.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
What are you gonna do with your championship?
Speaker 2 (35:32):
I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet.
Maybe something extravagant, like take my gold and buy him
the whole city of New York.
Speaker 4 (35:41):
I know what I'm gonna do, and I'm gonna buy
me one of.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Them far horseless carriages I've seen in the exposition.
Speaker 2 (35:49):
You better get them bags puzzop in the door. We
may have to make a couple of trips.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Hey, maybe the night watchman will give us a handy.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
You want to cut him in big shape? What do
you say?
Speaker 1 (36:01):
No, he's shaking his head.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
He won't.
Speaker 4 (36:05):
What do you think of that? Son?
Speaker 3 (36:08):
Everyone in a while you'll meet up with an honest man.
Speaker 4 (36:13):
But don't let that shake your faith in human nature.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Listen, my arms getting tired. You want to reach it?
Speaker 4 (36:20):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Do I ever?
Speaker 4 (36:23):
How much is each bag?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Work? Could shit?
Speaker 4 (36:28):
I didn't know gold was worth so much.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Army civilization has gone to war for gold. People are
killed for gold, died for gold.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
You know, big Jake, I've never ever seen one piece
of gold, never my whole life. Son, here comes about
your way, Say dad, be careful that bag you just
threw broke open on the floor. No, Big Jake's picking
up a hand for.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Hey, is this your Oh? I ain't no gold?
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Look like it was my knife.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
What do you want a knife for?
Speaker 2 (37:04):
You're gonna cut over the other bags? How?
Speaker 4 (37:07):
Geez go? Sure it looks like what does it look like?
See those little coins before?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
All?
Speaker 4 (37:16):
Right?
Speaker 3 (37:16):
Here comes another bag?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Gentlemen were holding? Will you stop nooning?
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Why stop?
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Hey? What is it?
Speaker 3 (37:26):
Hey? Hey?
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Why are you cutting off from that?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
In that bag over there too?
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Tons? I thought i'd seen no little fellas before? Hey?
Speaker 4 (37:41):
Are you all gold?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Penny?
Speaker 2 (37:42):
You're all cop for pennies? Cop for every single.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Bag for well you mean real pennies, not gold?
Speaker 3 (37:49):
No son, not one of these?
Speaker 4 (37:51):
Is west more than one?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Se How could it be commelooperant?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Pennies? Is after all this?
Speaker 4 (37:59):
I pay?
Speaker 3 (38:00):
How it could be the just leave me another Blondey's damis.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
I can't believe it. It's a dream. It's a nightmare.
I'm gonna wake up. I can't believe this. Hey watched me,
watch me? What do you know about the vault?
Speaker 3 (38:13):
There's more than ten million dollars in that vault, and
there's three compartments. The fresh one has a gold ten
million in gold for sure, and there a fairy compartment.
There'll be all the way on your way that has
all the banks the good three million. Because well that
is well.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
You guys made your hole in the middle.
Speaker 3 (38:36):
That's where the copper claims are kept their pennies.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Well, I could kill you. Why didn't you tell me
if you knew?
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Well, I was blind and cold.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
I ain't no way you're.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
Reading that hole in the wall.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
So I'll be a son of a gun.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
All that was. Take some You can always use a penny,
you know.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
Hey, we blindfolded the man who could have help her.
All right, all right, I'll take a bagfull make a
down payment. I'm a couple of sticks of chewing gum.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Oh that's up. Why did I tell the old lady
if the mark visits an hour Sunday, I want part
of our tack.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
I watched by the buyers of foul.
Speaker 4 (39:35):
I guess this means goodbye in a heartless carriage.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I don't even enough.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
You'll have enough to pay for a ride, Troy.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
We gotta go. Okay, the tools are worth more of
the pennies to grab everything you can.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Shoves come into my pocket. Persum me no gag, Hey,
wat time to go?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
I hear people coming in downstairs. I follow the plane,
Yeah coming. Where's the key?
Speaker 1 (40:07):
My key?
Speaker 2 (40:08):
The key to the door we're walked in?
Speaker 4 (40:11):
Well, I never found it. I used the night watchman's key.
Remember you took him from me?
Speaker 2 (40:17):
All right? Oh man, Hannah would have passed keys?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Come on, you know them in my son along his swas.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Listen, watchmen, this is no time for jokes. I feel
these hands are on your throat. The keys on my
face is the last thing you've ever seen.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I don't make me has he's kidnap at the sandwich.
Speaker 4 (40:34):
Hard don't know where I never got the keys?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Man? Where that fly? Sammon? No? Stand bag of stand bag?
We better run? No, no, We'll just walk down these stairs,
nice and easy, slow, like keeping cool. Huh, walk through
the building, carrying our stuff, looking just like we would
be looking if we've been carrying bags that go.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Ye, Hey, big Jake, the clock just struck thirteen, which
is exactly what.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Big Jake, Big Tommy and Little Tommy did, walked out slowly.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
For all the trouble they took that famous weekend during
the Philadelphia Centennial in their pockets was a total of
one hundred and sixty dollars and eighty cents.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Nobody even saw them leave the building.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
All it was left was a trail of pennies right
up the stairs into the clockroom, and the sad pile
of bags of pennies and a hole in the wall,
and oh yes, a blindfolded watchman sitting on the floor
eating a sandwich. I'll be back shortly. Big Jake returned
(42:04):
to New York, but he was never the same again.
Word around Hell's Kitchen was his heart went out of
his work. He ended up a bartender in a saloon
on Dykeman Street.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Tommy Noonan got.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
A fair price for all the tools of his trade,
and he and his wife went into chicken farming. Tommy
Junior also went straight and became a tour guide in
that same old custom house. He never failed to tell
the out of town visitors about the new burglar proof
steel wall just installed in the sub treasury.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Vault next door.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
So after all, nobody got hurt, nobody got rich, and
it all ended pretty quietly. Our cash included Joe Silver,
Robert Ryden, and Skip Kinnant. The entire production was under
the direction of Hymon Brown.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Missus E. G.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Marshall, inviting you to return to our mystery theater for
another adventure in the Macob. Until next time, pleasant,
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